Untold Truths
by Doodle19
Summary: Emily has been keeping a secret, several actually. And they're all starting to come out. Wall by wall, the protective shield Emily created for herself comes crumbling down. Secrets have a way of affecting everyone, and this one was no different.
1. Long Days, Longer Nights Made Better

BACKGROUND: Here's a little background information. Everything that has happened on the show has happened in here with the exception of the Doyle storyline and JJ never got transferred to the State Department; she is a profiler here. She graduated from media liaison. I haven't decided whether I'm adding the Doyle thing in or not. I'm toying with some ideas and if I happen to do it, it will be completely different than the show and everything I've ever read. I probably will use it to bring the pieces together unless people are really opposed to the idea. However, to fit my story, I changed the timing of certain things. For example, Henry was born before Emily came to the show, a little more than a year after Jack; so Jack is seven and Henry is six(ish). Haley is also alive, and she and Hotch are still married. Age wise, Emily and JJ are thirty five and thirty four respectively. Hotch is early forties. Morgan is the same age as Emily. Rossi is Rossi and Reid is late twenties.

Chapter 1: Long Days, Longer Nights Made Better

It had been a long, stressful day at work. Scratch that. It had been a long, stressful week at work. The recent case the team had been working on was like a roller coaster ride set in hell. Every lead wound up at a dead end or to a new twist in the case. The unsub liked to pick women at random, no discernible pattern to trace. He was meticulous too, leaving no evidence behind. For a while it seemed like they weren't ever going to find the answers they were looking for. Luckily, they got a break.

The unsub was so narcissistic and each kill that he got away with just boosted his confidence and fed his ego. Eventually, that made him sloppy and thus, brought upon his downfall. Unfortunately, that downfall didn't come without its own price. His last victim got away. She was so shook up and dazed, but they managed to do a cognitive interview and even a sketch. The sketch led to a tip line which, in turn, led to a few credible leads.

Once everything panned out and all the ducks were in a row, Garcia came out with one name and two addresses. Lucian Cole… White, mid thirties, deranged in every sense of the word; an all out winner of a guy, a real psychopath, everything they could predict. They all knew going into the bust that he wouldn't be an easy take down. He would fight with everything he had and never surrender. That was what they profiled and that was what they firmly believed. They were not wrong.

Hotch gave the orders before the teams split up. Rossi, Reid, and Morgan were heading to the apartment in town rented under one of Cole's aliases. They figured it'd be a good place to hide out after his failed attack and recuperate before striking again. The rest, Prentiss, Hotch, and JJ, were heading to the outskirts of the profiled comfort zone. Lucien's family owned a large estate out there, presumably where he took the woman once they were in his possession. The team scattered all going to their respective locations. They were going to get the bastard.

Upon entering, Hotch slowly crept up the already creaking steps leaving JJ and Emily to their own devices. Guns drawn, they began clearing rooms. As JJ neared the end of the hallway, Prentiss was heading to the kitchen where she heard a noise. Following the sound, she saw a figure flee the dark room through the back door. Immediately she began running, trailing just behind the six foot four, two hundred and ninety pound man made of muscle.

"He's getting away!" She signaled the others and chased after the man. She wasn't going to let him escape, not if she could help it.

Receiving the notice, JJ and Hotch took off after Emily and the unsub, but they did have a bit of a head start. She was right behind him. Lucian led her over the vast expanse of uneven terrain that was all muddied from the recent rainfall. The empty space only filled with trees could easily have passed for a maze. The night sky didn't give much light to work with and somewhere along the way she seemed to have dropped her flashlight so she was running blind. But Emily never lost sight of her target.

Cole knew they were at the final standoff, and his personality wouldn't allow him to surrender peacefully. He was going to fight 'till the death no matter whose it was. He wasn't too far ahead of her, still close enough to hear the crackling of the autumn leaves crumpling under her steps. But he had a plan. All he had to do was get her deeper in the woods. If he could get close enough without the other goons around, he could take her out and lie in wait for the rest. He was too good for them.

He had a knife, but he preferred to use his hands when it came to the female population. He was stronger than them, bigger than them, and using his own hands made the thrill of the kill that much more invigorating. There was just something about watching the breath leave their bodies and the life drain from their eyes that got him all hot and bothered. So, once they were deep enough into the woods, in a spot he knew all too well, he stopped, staying silent as he perched behind a mosaic of boulders and smaller rocks.

Emily stopped hearing any movement in front of her. There were still faint, distant sounds of running behind her, but the unsub had stopped. She found herself circling, looking in every direction for any sign of him. Did she lose him? Did something happen? What did she miss? Then she took another step forward, and Cole made his move. He lunged at her, seemingly out of the blue, and tackled her to the ground simultaneously knocking the firearm from her hand.

They grappled a bit, but he clearly had the advantage. Emily knew that. He was twice her size, but if she could get in one good hit, it would give her the time to find her sig and, hopefully, by then, the rest of the cavalry would arrive. He barely hit her. There were a few good blows both delivered and received, but Emily was holding her own. When she got him in the groin she had the opportunity to feel around for her gun. Cole was already coming at her again, and she had yet to find it. When she saw the shimmer of moonlight reflecting off of something on the ground, she assumed it was her gun and started for it. Cole was right on her, grabbing her before she could make it all the way. It was the first time she noticed the knife in his hand as he swung it toward her, sick of her games. With each swing she took another step back, another step closer to her weapon. On the last step though, she clipped her, a dam break flooding crimson from her wrist. He felt satisfied in that moment and was caught off guard when he felt a warm burn in his abdomen. He completely missed the sound of the bullet leaving the chamber, but he couldn't miss it piercing his skin.

"Emily!" She heard them scream.

"I got him." She responded, quickly applying pressure to her wrist, knowing the attempts were futile. She'd surely need stitches. "He's down." They approached, lights shining slightly in the dark of night. Cole was dead; he bled out. They'd got their man. But all Emily could think was that she wanted to go home. She wanted to get home to her, to hold her, to read to her, and tuck her in.

"I already called it in. Everyone's just a few minutes out." JJ informed the team. Emily walked over to the rocks, the only part of the woods illuminated by more than the few escaped rays of light through the shadows of the trees. And once she stepped into the moonlight, JJ could see her left hand firmly grasped upon her other wrist. "Emily, you're bleeding…"

"I'm fine."

"No you're not." JJ flashed the light onto her friends arm and could see the blood all over, even the trail of it that followed her. "Did he stab you?" She asked while attempting to help stop the bleeding.

"Not so much stabbed as slashed. But seriously JJ, you don't need to do that. I'm fine."

"You're not fine. If you were, you wouldn't have a death grip on your hand right now." Emily conceded; it wasn't worth the energy to argue that fact. It didn't matter anyway. The paramedics arrived shortly after and both she and the unsub got the care they needed. She was patched up and on her way in no time and Cole was resting peacefully in the morgue. And after one more night stuck in a hotel, she'd be home… where she belonged.

It was a long case. It was a stressful case. But they all managed to get through it pretty much intact. They were all just glad to be heading back to Virginia, back to their families, and back home.

By the time the jet landed, it was early Sunday morning on the east coast. After sharing some parting words, the team all went their own way and all headed home. Morgan dropped Emily off at her building, offering, as a gentleman would, to walk her to her door. Kindly, she refused, instead insisting he go home and get some sleep. It was a long trip and they could all use a good, solid eight hours, even if it was daytime. As his car began to drive off, Emily began to make her way up the stairs. She was too tired and lazy to walk, so she went with the elevator instead.

Standing in front of her door, she was worn. Even getting the keys from her bag was a struggle. It took her some time, but once the door was open, all the stress and worry of the week was washed away and replaced with a sense of calm. When she walked in, she saw Sarah asleep on the couch. She called earlier and said she was on her way and would be home early that morning. She assumed that was why she was on the couch rather than the, much more comfortable, guest bedroom. Deciding against waking her up, Emily just made her way to her room. She wanted to drop off her bag before she went in to see her, but boy did she want to see her.

Immediately upon opening the door, she noticed her bed unmade and a tiny body snuggling with her blanket. A smile spread across Emily's face from ear to ear. Without hesitation, she quietly slipped off her shoes, changed into something a little more bed appropriate, and slipped in under the covers. Sinking deep into the mattress, she cuddled up to the tiny being next to her, wrapping her arm around her and pulling her tight. The girl stirred a little.

"Sarah?"

"No, not Sarah…" Excited by the sound of her voice, the girl flipped around to face Emily, a giant smile taking over her sleepy face as she spotted the woman she'd been waiting for.

"Mommy!"

"Hey baby girl. I missed you so much." The younger Prentiss jumped on her mother, enveloping herself into a tight embrace.

"I missed you too mommy. You shouldn't leave me for so long anymore." The innocence in her voice and statement flustered Emily, and she wanted so badly to promise never to leave again, but she knew she wouldn't be able to keep it.

"I know Charlie. I know." Emily's eyes felt heavy as her head sunk deeper into the pillow. Charlie, shifting slightly from her hold, began running a finger over her mother's bandage wrist.

"Mommy has a boo-boo."

"Yeah. Don't worry though. It's not so bad."

"I always worry about you, mommy." A small smile formed on Emily's face as she stared at her daughter's perfect eyes.

"Oh, you do?" She responded with a laughing tone. "I always worry about you too."

"But you don't have to."

"But I do because you're my little angel."

"Does it hurt mommy?"

"Not anymore, not with you in my arms."

"I make it all better?"

"You make everything better." Scooting closer once again, Charlie kissed her mother, pulled her teddy bear tight, and cradled herself right next to Emily.

"You should sleep mommy. I'll stay right here to make you feel all better." Nothing else needed to be said. With her daughter at her side and the weight of the case lifted from her shoulders, it didn't take much for her to give into the comfort and warmth of Charlie and relax her body right into a peaceful slumber.

She got a solid few hours in before she was gently shaken awake by a pair of small hands. "Mommy wake up!"

Groggily, Emily opened her still sleep ridden eyes and turned to her daughter. "What is it sweetie? Is something wrong?"

"I'm hungry."

"Oh ok. Did Sarah leave yet?" She asked as she slowly sat up in the bed.

"She said she got your note and told me not to wake you unless I really needed to."

"That was sweet of her." She said as she sat up in bed. Looking at the clock she realized it was after one. "What should we have for lunch?"

"Can we make sandwiches and have a picnic at the park like we used to?" With the most adorable pleading eyes, she stuck out her bottom lip and said. "Please."

"Is that really what you want to do today?"

"Yes mommy! You said we could go again before the snow starts coming."

"I did? You don't forget anything, do you?" Charlie shook her head. "Ok, we can go. I'm going to shower and change, and then we can go."

"Ok." The enthusiastic little girl ran out of the room to let her mom get ready.

About an hour later, Emily was freshly bathed, changed, and ready to go. A small picnic basket in hand, the Prentiss women made their way to their favorite playground. It was pretty empty when they arrived, just a few kids scattered about being watched from afar by their nannies. Emily had an eye for spotting nannies. After some time pushing Charlie on the swings, Emily made her way over to one of the tables to set up their lunch. She let Charlie play a little longer before calling her over.

"So, Charlie, you're turning five next month."

"I know. I'm a big girl now."

"That you are. What should we do for your birthday this year?"

"Since I'm turning five and that's a big number, we should have a party."

"We should?" She acted surprised. "And who should we invite to this party?"

"We should make a list. I want to invite all my friends." Emily pulled out a small pad of paper and a pen and together, they began to make a list. Charlie spouted out name after name as she choked down her lunch.

"Oh, and we have to invite Grant and Jill. Sarah will come too won't she mama?" Sarah had become like family to the Prentiss women after working with them for years. Grant and Jill were her niece and nephew. They, although a little older, were taken by Charlie and have been friends ever since.

"We'll have to talk to her next time we see her. Ok?"

"And Henry mommy. I almost forgot Henry." Henry? Henry was almost a year older, but they were in the same grade. But it had to be a coincidence. She would know if her friend's son was in the same class as her daughter. Then again, no one on the team even knows she has a daughter. And while she has her reasons for keeping it like that, it just goes to show that you don't know everything. Anyways, it had to be a coincidence. There are plenty of boys, in Virginia, in that city, in that school named Henry. Right?

"Who's Henry baby?" She had to press her for more information. It wasn't her proudest moment, interrogating her four year old daughter, but secrets are usually secrets for a reason. And hers needed to remain just that, a secret.

"I told you before mommy. He's my friend and he's in my class. We play together all the time at recess, and Sarah took me over to his house to play lots of times." How had she missed that? It must've been the case earlier that year where they were away for a while. Sarah did ask about taking Charlie to a friend's house, and Emily agreed, but she was a little distracted and must've missed the kid's name. She didn't know that friend was Henry, but if it was during a case that meant JJ wasn't there either. So there was that. But she did say lots of times. Maybe she was exaggerating. Kids are known to do that.

"What do you talk about?"

"Did you know his daddy's a police officer?" Another coincidence…

"That's cool. What does his mom do?"

She looked like she was wracking her brain for an answer. "I don't remember."

"That's ok. Why don't you go play? You have another hour before we go home, and if you're good, we'll watch a movie and order dinner tonight." The little girl jumped from the table squealing before running back over to the playground. Keeping an eye on her rambunctious little spitfire, Emily pulled out her phone and made a few calls. It was time she called in a few favors and made her little girl's birthday better than she ever could have imagined. She'd worry about the Henry thing later.

After a fun time making use of every apparatus in the park, the Prentiss girls headed home. The rest of the evening was spent in complete relaxation mode. They changed into their pajamas early and went over Charlie's homework for the next day before settling down in front of the TV for a movie and takeout. Emily didn't have much energy so instead of forcing herself to cook some mediocre food, she ordered their favorite Chinese takeout and a nonviolent princess movie.

As the movie came to a close and the credits began rolling, sleep was evident on both their faces. And while they were both content exactly where they were, snuggled together under a blanket, Emily knew they would sleep much better in their own beds.

"Come on Charlie bear, it's time for bed."

"But I'm not tired."

"Yes you are, and so is mommy."

"No I'm not."

"We can read a story." She tried to entice her, not wanting to argue her into submission or use the 'because I said so' line.

"Any story?"

"Any short story you want." Emphasis on short.

"Ok, let's go to your room." Charlie hopped off the couch and, without giving her time to debate, took her mother's hand, escorting her up the stairs and to the master bedroom at the end of the hall. Usually, Emily would insist she sleep in her own room. She was pretty good about that, but after a long case, or any case really, Charlie liked to sleep in her mother's bed, if for no other reason than to know she was still there.

As Charlie ran to her room to fetch a book, Emily set her morning alarm and got clothes out for the following day. Once Charlie returned, both settled in her big bed. "What book am I reading you tonight?"

"I'm going to read to you mommy." Emily smiled as a warm, happy sensation took over her body. Her daughter was something else. And as Charlie began reading in a soon to be five year old, I only just learned how to read kind of way, Emily slipped down deeper into her pillow and fell into a light sleep. She didn't know how long she was like that. She didn't even know she was until she heard the hushed voice of her daughter and a light kiss being placed on her cheek. "Night mommy. I love you."

"I love you too Charlie. Sleep tight." She whispered back, allowing her daughter ample room to snuggle with her. And that was how the night came to a, like she wished every night could, close.

**Ok, so this is my first Criminal Minds Fanfic and I do have other stories right now (for other shows), but I had this written for a while and wanted to put it out there. If this gets some positive feedback I'll continue to post. In fact, if people like it, I'll have the next chapter up by Friday night. So let me know what you think.**

**I also apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors. I am only human, thus I make mistakes.**

**Opinions are always welcomed; feedback, input, whatever. Tell me what you think. Should I continue?**


	2. Invitations and Conversations

Chapter 2: Invitations and Conversations

Monday went off without a hitch, as did Tuesday. The team was taking it easy after the last case. The days were mostly filled with paperwork and consults via phone and in house meetings. The big cases were given to the other BAU teams for the week and, as long as one of the other teams remained available, the rest of the week would remain that way. So, it was no surprise when Wednesday went by without pause as well. Hotch even allowed the team to leave early if their paperwork was done. And Emily's was.

She was planning on surprising Charlie and picking her up from school. Charlie always loved when her mother did that, but even at her young age, she understood that her mother's job was important and time consuming, so it was ok that she couldn't be there every day after school. But when she was there, Charlie was that much happier.

"You came to pick me up today!" The little girl yelled running into her mother's waiting arms.

"Does that make you happy?" Charlie nodded.

"It does. You don't have to go away again, do you?" She asked with sad eyes.

"No, I'm all yours. In fact, I was thinking we'd stop by the store and you could help me pick out the invitations for your party."

"Really?" Her entire face perked up. Since Emily told her about what she was planning, Charlie couldn't stop talking about it. She loved that she could do something that made her daughter so happy.

"Really. But homework has to be done before we work on them."

"Ok. But I get to pick the ones I want?"

"Of course you can. It's your birthday."

After an hour shopping, another hour on homework and household chores, and then dinner, they finally got down to the invitations. She was so excited. Emily asked one of her friends that worked at the aquarium to help her out with the party. She just meant to get some suggestions to make the party special, but Mike had other ideas. He arranged for the kids, along with Emily and Sarah to spend the day in the aquarium and then go to one of the private areas where they could pet some of the creatures they housed there; nothing dangerous of course, just some turtles, starfish, that kind of thing. But for little kids, and even some adults, that was more than exciting. When Emily explained that to Charlie, she never saw the girl so excited. She practically tackled her mother down to the ground and squeezed her tighter that she ever imagined possible.

"I love you mommy! You're the best and my party's going to be the coolest!" She giddily yelled before her mother could even finish explaining. Emily was excited for her. Just seeing the smile brighten her daughter's face made her day better and washed her of all her troubles.

When they went to the party store that afternoon, Charlie just had to pick the design with the fishes on the front. There was a whole wall of different designs to choose from. She could've went with her favorite color, the ones with the dogs, or the fairy tale ones she loved so much, but she said that the fishes showed what an awesome party she was going to have.

"I'm going to fill in the inside. You just have to tell me who you decided you want to come."

"I know exactly who I want to come." Emily finished up the inside of the invitations and stuffed them in their envelopes. Charlie declared that she wanted to write her friends' names on the outside since she couldn't do the insides by herself. Her mother agreed and, together, they wrote the names of six of her closest friends, Henry being one of them.

"Sarah will be there with you tomorrow to help you give them out after class."

"I'm a big girl mommy. I don't need help."

"I know, but just in case." Once they were finished, Emily placed the cards into Charlie's back pack for safe keeping before getting her up and into the bath. After that, continuing their ritual, Emily read her a book and put her to bed. She still had some cases she wanted to look over, so she did that before heading to bed herself.

The next afternoon, once school was over, Charlie came racing out. She gave out almost all of her cards before her friends left for the day except for Henry. He left so fast and she was busy handing out the others that she didn't even see him go. In hopes of finding him, she went sprinting out, barely stopping to grab Sarah's hand when in the lobby and racing out to the entrance pathway where she saw Henry walking hand in hand with a blonde woman she'd later know as JJ.

"Henry wait!" She yelled getting their attention. JJ turned around to face the smiling little girl as she bolted toward them. Catching her breathe, she stopped in front of the pair and stuck out her hand.

JJ accepted the hand and shook it. "My name is Charlotte, but please call me Charlie. You must be Henry's mother, Miss…?" JJ couldn't help but laugh. There was something about this precocious little girl that was so familiar. She seemed way too smart for her own good.

"Miss Jareau." She answered bending down to her eye level. "What can I do for you sweetie?"

Before answering she turned to Henry. "You left so fast I couldn't give you this." Pulling out the card, she passed it to Henry. "It's for my party. I'm turning five." She turned back to JJ and in the most grown up way she could, and she said, "My mommy is having my party at the aquarium. It's going to be very fun and I hope you'll let Henry come. I have to go now, but it was nice meeting you Miss Jareau. Bye Henry." With that and a simple wave, she left the mother and son duo behind, both with smiles on their faces, and ran over to Sarah.

JJ took the card from his hands and looked at the child's writing on the front. It was pretty good for the young girl. Henry tugged on her jacket to get her attention.

"I want to go to the aquarium. Can I go to her birthday?" He pleaded, his eyes excited by the mere thought. He wasn't going to let his mother say no. Not only was it his best friend's party, but it was at the aquarium and he loved all animals.

"We'll talk about it when we get home." She answered taking one last look at the invitation and a quick glance at their surroundings. Charlie was with a taller woman, blonde, not at all like her. "Who was that Henry?"

"That's Charlie mom. She's one of my favorite friends."

"How come you never told me about her?" She saw how happy he looked when she made an appearance and how his face lit up when he heard her calling. If they were older, JJ would've thought they were in love. She'd wait for the hair pulling and rock throwing to make that assumption.

"I did. But you kept calling her a boy and I got angry so I stopped."

"Oh, well I'm sorry I thought Charlie was a boy, but you never told me she was a girl." He completely ignored her statement, no longer caring in the least. He was more focused on the invitation in her hand that he was tugging at.

"So can I go to the party?"

"We'll see. We'll talk to daddy and make sure we're not busy first." Putting the card in her purse, JJ took Henry's hand once more and walked with him to the car. There was no way she'd get away with saying no. He was already so excited. And as long as they didn't have a scheduling conflict, then there'd be no reason to say no.

The next few days rolled by pretty quickly and Friday came around before they knew it. Emily dropped off Charlie at school that morning where she was asked if anyone called to say they were coming to the party yet. Emily tried to explain that it had only been a few days and they had to give her friends some time. But time is a hard concept to explain to a child. JJ's morning went much the same. She drove Henry to school and listened to stories about recess with Charlie. She didn't understand how she missed her son's obvious interest in this friend.

When she arrived at work, the team was joking around in the bullpen. They were still doing the light caseload and Reid decided to show off a little more of his physic magic. The entire team enjoyed some levity that they knew would be short lived. Sooner rather than later, they'd be sent away to track a serial killer's trail, and they just wanted to make the most of the time they did have. Eventually though, they did have to get some work done. Some had paper work, some were creating profiles to send out to those that put in requests, and some were doing phone conferences. It was more busywork than anything else, but it was work nonetheless.

Around lunch time, Emily came walking back into the bullpen and saw JJ sitting at her desk. "Hey Jayje, you done?"

"For now. You?"

"Yeah, want to grab lunch with me?" She stood from her desk.

"Sounds good. We could get Garcia and make it a girl's day."

"Let's do it." Emily agreed grabbing her purse from the desk and waiting for JJ to head to the lab tech's sanctum.

The three women headed to a local café they often frequented. It was a spook joint. Whenever they had the time, that was where they went to lunch. Mostly, it was convenient, but the food was pretty good too. They spent a good amount of time laughing and joking, just talking about meaningless things. It was a change from the usual serious nature of their conversation topics. Murder, rape, arson… that could all get a little heavy.

"So I met this little girl the other day at Henry's school." Emily's focus immediately shifted as she became more interested. She knew Charlie had invited Henry. Charlie told her she made sure he got the invitation. She didn't say that she met JJ though. Yet, the comment still grabbed her attention.

"Does the Jareau boy already know how to charm all the girls? A real lady killer at the ripe age of five." Garcia joked eliciting quiet giggles from the other girls.

"She was the most adorable little thing ever."

"Awe. What's the squirt's name?"

"She came up to me, shook my hand, and said, 'My name is Charlotte, but please call me Charlie.'" Emily just sat back and listened to the conversation up until that point. She was in the middle of sipping her water when she got the confirmation. Charlie's Henry was indeed the one and only Henry LaMontagne. She nearly choked on the simple liquid.

"Are you ok Em?" Her friends looked at her concerned. They'd do the Heimlich if need be.

"Fine." She coughed one last time and took a deep breath. "Please, continue."

"Tell us more about this little girl wonder. Like what else did she say? What did she want?" She knew there was a point to the story somewhere. At the very least there'd be some cute anecdote.

"She informed Henry and me that she was having a birthday party and needed to give him his invitation. But here's the cutest part…" Like she was pausing for dramatic effect, JJ took a long sip of her beverage that seemed to take forever.

"Don't leave us hanging Jayje, the suspense is killing us."

"Like she was fifteen she said, 'It was nice to meet you Miss Jareau, I hope you'll allow Henry to come.' I don't know. It was something like that. But she was four years old. Not even five yet and she speaks like a well mannered adult and writes pretty well too." That sounded just like Charlie to Emily. The girl was a younger version of herself, and the most well mannered kid she'd ever known. Then again, she was a little biased, and she didn't know too many kids.

"She sounds as cute as Morgan in footie pajamas… or, without." She quipped.

"Garcia." Both Emily and JJ said in unison.

"What?" She asked innocently, her friends both giving her a look.

"Anyway, she seemed so familiar to me. She reminds me a little of you Em."

"Why do you say that?" She asked nervously. A part of her was curious to see what she thought of her baby girl and the other part was just anxious to change the topic. She was more than proud of her little creation. She wasn't ashamed in the least, but she couldn't tell. There are some secrets that, if you keep them too long, seem impossible to let go of. Charlie was one of those secrets.

"There was something about her, not just the way she looked either. Although she did look a lot like you, but the way she acted too. I swear she could be your mini me. And Henry told me stories about her which made me think of you even more." Many people have told Emily that Charlie was the spitting image of herself, and Emily had to agree, although Charlie was more beautiful than she ever thought herself to be, but Emily could see the girl's father in her too. No one else could see it, but she could. And she should know; she saw the man almost every day.

"Do share…" The tech analyst goaded her on. Her curiosity was piqued. Emily's was too. She heard some stories about Henry as well. Apparently they were both very fond of each other.

"Henry told me that one day at recess one of the other first graders was picking on their classmate and saying some mean things. And when Charlie heard the boy, she punched him in his stomach and told him to get lost or her mom would lock him away with a bunch of serial killers." A sense of pride washed over Emily. That was her little girl. She should've been upset, and she made a mental note to talk to her daughter about violence and when, if ever, it was appropriate, but at the time, she couldn't help but just feel the pride swell in her body. "I just thought of you when I heard that."

"She does sound like our E here." Emily, being Emily, needed to press the issue further. At the very least she'd get a RSVP or a 'sorry can't come' to share with Charlie.

"Are you letting Henry go to the party or do you think she's a bad influence?" She was sure JJ didn't condone violence to deal with bullies, but she didn't think that her friend would cut off contact with Charlie over one minor incident. She wasn't a bad influence, but she had to ask. It seemed an appropriate way to gage it further.

"If I told Henry he couldn't go he'd be devastated. He can't stop talking about her or the party. I was planning on calling tonight so Henry would stop asking. Every second he isn't busy he's asking if he could go." The boy was persistent. Emily was sure he got that from JJ.

"She'll be glad to hear that." She slipped up. She knew it as soon as the words came out of her mouth and both her friends looked at her funny, but she'd recover; she knew that too. "I mean what little girl wouldn't want him there? He's so… Henry." Nice… She recovered from the slip flawlessly.

"So tell me more about this gem of girl that stole my godson's heart."

"Oh here." JJ smiled excitedly as she looked for something in her purse. "Will sent this to me the other day. He took it when we were on that case in Colorado." She pulled her phone out of her purse and passed it to Garcia first. "Doesn't she look just like Emily?"

"Oh my god! She does. They're both so adorable you just want to eat 'em up." She turned toward Emily and handed her the phone. "So E, something you want to tell us?" Emily knew she was joking, but the truth was that she did want to tell them. She wasn't ashamed of daughter, and she didn't want to keep the most important people in her life from knowing about each other, but it seemed like she didn't have a choice. Among a few other reasons, she was doing it for Charlie's protection, or maybe, more selfishly, for her own.

"Nope, not at this time." She joked in response to Garcia's question. "But I do love this picture. They look so happy together." And that made her happy. If her daughter and Henry could be good friends like she was with his mother, she wasn't going to prevent that. Her daughter deserved that and she wanted that too. As long as her daughter was happy, she was happy too. Honestly, if it didn't look suspicious, she would've asked for a copy of the picture, but eventually she'd take some of her own; like at the party.

"So, the invitation says that parents are welcome to stay for the party and since Will is going to be in New Orleans that weekend, I'm thinking about staying. I'd like to see them together, know his friends a little better." Emily's eyes went wide as she looked down to her plate rather than at either of the other table occupants. She forgot about that. How could she forget about that?

"S-so you're going to stay?" That was the first time her teammates ever heard a stutter pass through the Prentiss' lips. But they let it slide. Maybe she was choking again.

"Why? Is that weird?"

"No sugar. I don't think it is. Given what we see every day, you have to make sure little Henry isn't being left to a family of psychopaths."

"She's not a psychopath Pen, but I do want to go. I know it's a kid's party, but he seemed so happy and I want to spend as much time with him as I can. I used to love the aquarium as a kid."

"Then you should go." The words left her mouth before she could even process them. And it surprised her. But it was too late to take them back. She'd deal with it when the time came. If JJ showed up with Henry, then the truth would be out. She'd hope JJ would keep it to herself if asked. But she'd deal with it either way. She'd kept it a secret for five years. For five years she didn't brag about her perfect, brilliant little girl. For five years, she enforced a no toys in common areas on the off chance that someone from the team would spontaneously stop by. For five years she kept her mouth shut, she kept her from him, from everyone. For five long years she'd excuse herself from the team to talk to Charlie in private, away from spying ears. She had been meticulous, hyper vigilant, careful about every little thing she did and did not say about her life. She didn't want that. She never wanted that, and maybe it was time to share. He was bound to find out someday. Secrets were her specialty. Lying was once her job. It was a hard habit to break and a harder skill to unlearn, but maybe it was about time she started trying.

**As promised, Friday night update. I wasn't exactly thrilled with the response, or lack thereof, that I got. But I don't write for the reviews. They are an amazing bonus though, so please feel free to add your two cents. I love hearing what people have to say, even if it's about something you don't like.**

**Again, I apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors. Infallibility is not a trait of mine. **

**Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**

**Merry Christmas, happy Chanukah, happy holidays… Whatever you celebrate, enjoy it.**


	3. Birthday's are Always Full of Surprises

Chapter 3: Birthday's are Always Full of Surprises

Another three weeks went by like it was nothing. The team had a few cases that took them away from the office. They went as far away as Oregon, but nothing lasted more than two days. Every time Emily left, Charlie would worry, especially as it got closer to her birthday. But Emily made her daughter a promise. She promised that she would be there for the party, no excuses, no work. It was a promise she intended to keep. There was no way she was letting her down. She promised she wouldn't, so she wouldn't. It was really as simple as that.

She got off work early that Friday, spouting some excuse about a doctor's appointment. In reality, she wanted to pick up Charlie and take her to pick out a special birthday outfit and some cool toys to finish off the goody bags. She knew it would make the little girl happy to have any extra time with her mom, and Emily would take whatever extra time she could get.

She waited patiently in the school lobby for the uniform clad ball of energy to come bolting out like she usually did. And when it happened, when her little girl came running out just as she pictured, she couldn't stop the smile from taking over every inch of her face; a face that was equally matched her daughter's. Charlie ran into her mother's arms not hesitating to return the hug when her mother scooped her up and squeezed her.

"How was school?"

"All my friends are excited for my birthday tomorrow. None of us can wait."

"Does that mean you want to go shopping with me so we can get you a special birthday outfit for tomorrow?" Charlie let out a tiny squeal and deepened her smile.

"You don't have to go to work?" Her eyes were pleading for Emily to say no. She wanted her mom to stay with her, especially on her birthday.

"Nope, the next few days are all us. I promised I'd be here for your birthday. And mommy's not a liar right?"

"No, lying's bad. That's what you tell me." That was a little hypocritical, she knew, given the nature of her current state of affairs. The lies were really piling up.

"Does that mean you want to go with me?"

"Duh…" Smiling, Emily put the petite girl down and held her hand out. Charlie willingly and happily entangled her own hand with her mother's and together they left for the store.

The rest of the night was spent in mother daughter bliss. Together they picked out the most adorable outfit, matching shoes and all. They bought the finishing touches to the goody bags and spent the rest of the night putting all the kid's toys and treats into the bags and going over last minute details for a special five year old's very special day. That night it took some work to get the girl to bed. She was restless from the excitement the following day promised to provide, but Emily simply told her that the faster she got to bed then the faster morning would come. That seemed to do the trick and within minutes of cuddling in her mother's arms, she was fast asleep having promising dreams of all the fun she was going to have at her party. Emily joined her an hour or two later, doing her best not to think about the possibility of JJ staying at the party.

She had decided, after a week of mulling it over, that she was going to bring JJ into her confidence whether she showed there or not. But if she did come to the party, she'd have to deal with it right then and there. There wouldn't be any more mulling it over or putting it off. JJ would want answers. Emily just didn't want anything to ruin the day. She wouldn't let it or anything make it any less special. Her baby was turning five in the morning and that only happened once. So she was going to make it the best birthday she could, no exceptions. Nothing was going to change that.

The next morning, Emily woke up a little earlier than she normally would on a Saturday, a non working Saturday. But for Emily, normal was six or seven depending on which case nightmares were filling her head the night before, but that day she got up at five. She had a few surprises up her sleeve. First she had to get everything ready for the day. She had to put all the party favors and party supplies into a box so she could easily take them out to the car once they left. The next thing she did was get her daughter's outfit out along with everything else she'd need for the day. Next up was Emily's clothes. She had to be quiet doing that. She didn't want to wake Charlie when she went into her room. She left them on the dresser by her bathroom for after her shower. Bur before she could do that, she wanted to wrap her daughter's gift. She planned on doing it as soon as she got it, but little Charlie was a snoop and, while it was small enough to hide, if she didn't wrap it until last minute, she could hide it in plain sight, and Charlie would be none the wiser.

Around eight, once she was showered and dressed, the gifts were wrapped, and the things were packed, Emily finished making her daughter's favorite breakfast. French toast with fresh strawberries and extra whipped cream was much like a delicacy to Charlie. Emily didn't let her have it all the time, but for special occasions and when she had the time to actually cook it, she'd do her best to make it for Charlie. As soon as it was finished and plated, Emily made her way upstairs and onto the bed, lying right next to Charlie.

Sweeping her fingers over the delicate ivory skin of her daughter's face, Emily said, "Wake up big girl." Charlie just stirred. "Charlie Bear, it's time to get up." She wearily opened her eyes and saw Emily starring back at her with a big grin on her face.

"Mommy I'm five today."

"Happy birthday my big girl." Emily responded with an enormous hug and a bunch of kisses. "Why don't you get up and come down to the kitchen? I made breakfast…"

"My favorite?" She questioned with wide, animated eyes. She knew what birthdays meant.

"Of course. Now hurry up, because after breakfast we're going to get you dressed and then mommy's going to take you somewhere."

"Where mommy?" She asked as she jumped out of the bed.

"It's a surprise." Following her lead, Emily stood from the bed. "So go eat, and I'll be right down." She watched as the ecstatic bright eyed girl became an instant morning person and ran from the room dressed in her favorite purple polka dot pajamas. Then she made the bed and pt Charlie's gift in her purse. It was going to be a good day. She'd make sure of that.

About an hour later, breakfast was eaten and the dishes were done. Emily took Charlie into her room and dressed her in her new purple and black plaid skirt with thick black stockings and the rest of the new clothes she picked out. Most of it was purple. She liked purple, purple and black. Emily liked that about her. She liked things a little dark, just like her mother. She just hoped Charlie wouldn't turn into a similar version of her own teenaged self. She didn't know if she could handle her daughter being fifteen and pregnant. It was bad enough that she went through it. But she wasn't going to stress herself out about that yet. It scared her enough already that Charlie had her fearless streak that bordered on recklessness. It didn't come out very often, but when it did, it usually required a hospital visit for stitches or an X-ray. Again, a later date…There was time before she made herself go grey, or greyer.

"Charlie, are you ready?" Emily called from the bottom of the stairs. Immediately, the sounds of rushing tiny steps echoed in the stairwell.

"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!" She yelled when she jumped over the last few steps causing Emily's heart to stop for just a moment as she waited to see the safe landing. "I'm ready."

"Ok. Help mommy out and carry my purse."

"Ok." She replied snatching the purse from the table and running to the door. Emily followed her out carrying the box of things for the party and locking the door behind them.

After settling Charlie into her booster seat and securing the box in the trunk, the Prentiss women hit the open road. Charlie watched the scenery pass by with curious eyes. She knew it wasn't time to go to the aquarium yet. So where were they going? She was anxious and lasted all of five minutes before asking the inevitable, and probably most dreaded, car ride question.

"Are we there yet?"

"Almost, just five more minutes." To a five year old, those five minutes seemed excruciatingly long.

"Mommy that's Henry's house." Charlie pointed to the house they just passed. They were in a quaint neighborhood, a family type place. She knew that was where the LaMontagne-Jareau household was, but that wasn't a factor in her decision making.

"Yeah, it is." Their destination was a few streets over. It was just far enough away that they wouldn't run into JJ every day, but still close enough that once she tells JJ all about Charlie, they were within walking distance of each other.

"Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise. You'll see." Charlie let out a defeated sigh and leaned back into her seat as the car drove on. "We're here." Emily said as she pulled into the driveway of a beautiful grey stone house.

"Whose house is this?" Her curious nature had her looking all around.

"It's our house silly." She said turning to face her daughter in the back seat. "You said you wanted a big yard and your own playground." There was more to be said, but Charlie's eyes went wide and her body perked up.

"I got my own playground!" She squealed.

"Why don't we go find out for ourselves?" That was all she needed to unbuckle herself from the seat and rush to the door. Knowing that was going to happen, Emily turned off the child safety locks once they pulled in. Emily followed suit and rushed after her, the two of them undoing the gate and running to the backyard.

"It's just like the park! No. it's better because it's all mine!" She yelled upon seeing the jungle gym and swings. "Can I play?"

"No sorry. Not right now." Emily saw the pout forming and the puppy dog eyes making an appearance. She was a sucker for those, but she wouldn't give in. "You don't want to get dirty before your party. Do you?"

"No." Emily hated the sad tone to her voice, but she knew what would cheer her up.

"The house isn't finished yet, but your room is. Do you want to see it?" She perked up again.

"Please!" Emily took her hand and guided them into the house, up the stairs, and through the hall to the newly finished room.

"Go ahead, go in." She didn't have to say that twice. The door swung open and Charlie jumped for joy. It was painted a light purple with star decals and her name in black wooden letters hanging on the wall. Against the wall was her, as she'd call it, "big girl bed," accompanied with the softest comforter Emily could find. There was a desk for drawing and homework and a toy chest too; everything a five year old could want or need was in that room, hers for the taking. The only thing missing was Charlie's wardrobe, but Emily didn't want to pack that up until they were ready to move in indefinitely. And at the time, Charlie's room was the only one finished. Everything was painted, but the new furniture wouldn't arrive for a few more days. She decided to keep the apartment for a little while, just in case, so she bought mostly new furnishings for their new home. But once it arrived, Emily would finish packing most of their stuff and get them settled. "What do you think? Do you like it?"

"I love it mommy! Thank you!" The thanks was accompanied with a big hug and an even bigger smile. The joy and smile all seemed so contagious.

Emily was happy that Charlie liked everything. The truth was that Emily was working on this surprise for a while. They were both tired of living in an apartment and having to go to the park just to play outside. So whether it was Charlie's birthday or not, Emily was planning on buying the house. She actually bought it a few months prior. The timing of the remodeling and painting to be finished just worked out in her favor. It took some time to find the right house too. She wanted it to be close to both Charlie's school and her job. She lucked out finding the house she did. None of the others she looked at met her criteria. So she was a little closer to JJ than she planned, especially while Charlie was still a secret, but she was planning on telling her eventually. And then, since Charlie's party forced her hand, the timing, once again, worked in her favor.

"I have one more surprise before we go to your party."

"What is it?" Emily walked over to the bed and sat down, patting the open space directly in front of her signaling for Charlie to join her.

"Come sit." Being the obedient girl she was, Charlie joined her mother on the bed and looked to her mother for answers. The day seemed filled with more and more surprises. She didn't know what to do with it all.

"Can you tell me what it is now?"

"Well," Emily pulled a small wrapped box from her purse and handed it to Charlie, "here."

"Can I open it?"

"It's your present, for your birthday. Open it." Charlie didn't waste any time ripping off the paper, although, much like her mother, she did it as neatly as possible. They were both a little obsessive compulsive when it came to order. It was just another thing they had in common. Once the box was open, Emily heard an exaggerated gasp leave her daughter's lips.

"Mommy it's beautiful."

"Well, you're a big girl now and I thought you should have some big girl jewelry. And this one is very special."

"It is?"

"Mommy goes away a lot for work. And when I do, I miss you so much that it hurts."

"I miss you too, all the time."

"Well, I bought this necklace for you," she pulled the necklace dangling from her own neck out from behind her blouse, "and it's the same one my grandfather bought for me when I was just a little girl. That way, we're always with each other." Emily opened the locket to reveal a picture of the two of them smiling at each other. "Look."

"That's you and that's me." Her small hand reached up to the pictures, her finger delicately pointing to their faces in the frame.

"Yes it is. That way when I'm gone and you miss me or I miss you, all we have to do is look inside the locket and we won't be as sad anymore because we'll know we always have each other." Charlie looked from her mother to the necklace in awe. She really felt like a big kid and she loved having the same necklace as her mother, especially one that meant so much. "Do you want me to put it on you?" She just nodded and Emily slipped the necklace around the tiny neck. "How's that?"

"I like it a lot mommy."

"I'm glad. Now when I'm away I could look at the picture and know that my beautiful little Charlie Bear is waiting for me to come home."

"And I can have mommy with me all the time, even at school." That last part touched Emily the most. She missed her mommy when she was away, but she also missed her when they were separated by mere minutes and roads. But now they'd always have each other right there with them, hanging around their necks encased in a white gold heart with their name's engraved on the back.

"Yes you can." Emily said as she pulled Charlie into her lap and hugged her tight. "Are you ready to go to your party now?"

"Yes." They were back on the road within minutes and headed to their final destination for the day. It took a good twenty minutes to get there. She felt bad about making all the other parents drive so far out of town, but, in her defense, she offered to carpool all the kids. Between her car and Sarah's there would have been plenty of room. But the parents were all willing to drop the kids off and pick them up after. She talked to everyone but JJ. She listed Sarah's number on Henry's invitation. With the exception of JJ, they all said they wouldn't be staying. She, on the other hand, said that schedule permitting, she would join in on the festivities. Since she got the RSVP, Emily had been trying to come up with how to explain things. Somehow, the words just escaped her, and she really had no idea what to say. Winging it seemed like as good an idea as any. There didn't seem to be any right thing to say and the whole truth just wasn't permitted.

When they arrived they were still a bit early. Mike was there to greet them at the gates. "Emily." He called as he walked up to the duo. "I haven't seen you in a while."

"I know it has been too long, but I do appreciate you doing all of this for me and Charlie."They exchanged a friendly hug and a peck on the cheek.

"Of course, we've always helped each other out in college and after. Why should that change now?" Emily nodded, a small smile on her face. "And you." He bent down to Charlie's level. "You're so big."

"I'm five today."

"You are?" He feigned surprise. "Then happy birthday to you."

"Thank you Mr. Mike."

"You're welcome Miss Charlie." Emily caught up with Mike for a little while. They had a few minutes before people started to arrive. They hadn't seen much of each other over the years, but they kept in touch via random phone calls and monthly emails. Every now and then they'd meet up for coffee or dinner, but that was the extent of it. However, they both knew that if either needed anything they could turn to the other for help. They were each other's only real friend during college. They relied on each other more often than not. That wasn't an easy bond to break.

Sarah was the first to arrive, Grant and Jill each carrying a gift for Charlie. Once they started arriving, there was a steady stream of people coming. Each guest wished Charlie a happy birthday and then the parents left after getting times for pick up from Emily. JJ and Henry were the last to arrive. When she saw them walk over from the parking lot, she knew it was then or never, but she wanted to talk to JJ before the party actually started. She figured she owed JJ that much.

"Charlie honey." She tried to get her attention. "Mommy will be right back. You stay with Sarah and Mike. Ok?"

"Ok." She responded before turning back to her friends. Emily practically ran over to JJ, stopping short when she saw Henry running over to the group of kids.

"Emily!" He called. She could see that JJ, knowing that Henry was safe and almost with the other kids, turned around for a minute.

"Hi Henry."

"I'm here for my friend's birthday."

"I know. I think I see them all over there. Why don't you go catch up to them while I go talk to your mom?"

"Ok." That was all he said before sprinting the rest of the way to the group. And seeing JJ start to make her way toward Henry, Emily did a sprint of her own coming up behind her friend as she was just getting off the phone, probably talking to Will.

"JJ, I'm glad I caught you." Emily said nearly out of breath, startling JJ.

"Emily what are you doing here? Do we have a case? I didn't hear the call waiting. Did Hotch send you to find me? That's a little excessive. Even for him." Emily tried to interrupt the blonde's questioning, but she really couldn't get a word in edgewise.

"No, there's no case. I just…" Still couldn't get a word in edgewise. JJ cut her off.

"If there's no case then why…" It was at that moment that Charlie ran up to the pair. She ran right up to Emily and threw herself into her mother's arms.

"Mommy! All my friends are here!" She was so excited and Emily, although upset she didn't get the chance to at least begin to explain things to JJ first, couldn't resist smiling back. JJ mouthed "mommy?" even though Emily couldn't see it. It was more of an internal question. That was when the giddy girl finally saw that her mother was with someone and turned to face the other woman. "Oh, hi Miss Jareau. Are you staying with Henry? It's allowed you know."

"Hi Charlie. Happy birthday. And yes, I was thinking about staying," she looked directly to Emily, "but now I've decided to definitely stay." She wanted answers. Emily could see that; anyone could. And while JJ wasn't sure about staying, her reasons for hanging around just got more solid.

"Good, I'm glad." Emily added before placing Charlie down on the ground. "Charlie, you remember me telling you about my friend JJ right?"

"You work with JJ at the FBI. You said she's your bestest friend, her and Penelope."

"Well, this is JJ." Emily pointed to JJ as Charlie shook her head. She knew that woman and her name wasn't JJ.

"No mommy. That's Henry's mom Miss Jareau."

"She is, but I call her JJ." She looked back over to her friend. "JJ, this is my daughter Charlotte Prentiss." There was absolutely no missing the look of shock on JJ's face. She wasn't expecting that when she woke up that morning. It did, however, explain some of Emily's odd behavior since she brought up the girl that stood before them.

"Can I call you JJ too?" She asked with big eyes. "If that's what mommy calls you, can I call you that too?"

"Of course you can."

"Cool. JJ." There was no reason to say the name. She just wanted to say it out loud. She was finally meeting one of her mommy's work friends. To her the day just kept getting better and better. But she couldn't register the slight hint of awkwardness in the air.

"Charlie Bear, go back with your friends and tell Sarah and Mike that mommy will be right there."

"Ok. I'm glad you're staying JJ."

"Me too Charlie." Nothing was said until the little girl was way out of earshot. JJ just turned to Emily and asked, "Mommy?"

"I tried to tell you before. I wanted to tell you."

"Then why didn't you? You had almost five years to tell me. Does anyone else know?" There was a little bit of anger in her voice, as to be expected, but it was more like she was trying to understand.

"No, just you." She wanted to say more, and she was going to say more, but the conversation was interrupted before it even began. It would have to be put off yet again. Only that time it wasn't entirely Emily's own procrastination causing the delay.

"Emily, are you ready?" Mike asked. "The IMAX is about to start. We have about ten minutes to get in and get seats."

"Ok, we're coming." As Mike walked away she turned back to JJ. "That's Mike."

"Boyfriend?"

"Friend from college. He runs this place when he's not travelling the world studying the different marine life."

"So you have a daughter." She stated, quickly drawing the conversation back to the point.

"I have a daughter, and I'm sure you have a ton of questions. And I want to answer them all, but not here, not now. I don't want anything to ruin this day for her. She has been talking about it nonstop for the past month."

"Henry too." JJ understood. Kids were kids.

"So let's show them a good time and I promise I'll explain later."

"You better."

The women joined the rest of the group, and they all made their way to the theatre. JJ watched Emily interact with Charlie. She knew there was always something so maternal about her. Charlie was why. She watched as the movie began and Charlie cuddled in the chair with Emily, her head resting against the crook of her mother's neck. Henry took the seat next to them and JJ was next to him. The rest of the kids were scattered in between Mike and Sarah.

When the movie was over, the group traveled around through the different exhibits, Mike acting as their tour guide explaining away the various creatures and their habitats. All of the kids seemed to be having fun; the adults too. But Emily could feel JJ's eyes on her, watching her like she was looking for the answers to be written on her skin. Emily ignored it, putting her compartmentalization skills to good use and enjoyed the rest of the day. After being ushered to the private room, Mike brought in some of the smaller beings. Charlie and Henry were particularly fond of the turtle, trying to coerce it out of its shell. Then of course there was food and cake and then presents, a few games too. Before they knew it, it was late and the party was over.

"Does the party have to end? I want to stay with the turtle." Charlie innocently stated.

"I'm sorry. The turtle has to stay here and we have to go home. But, you can hand out the goody bags we made."

"Fine." She said as Emily passed her a few of the bags at a time. Once they were all handed out she came back to Emily. "What now mommy?"

"Well, all of your friends' parents are here. So go say goodbye and remember to thank them." Reluctant to actually end the party, she stalled before doing as told. But she did it anyway. Meanwhile, Sarah came up to Emily and told her that she had fun and that the kids loved the party. Then, after a few parting words and a hug from Charlie, Sarah took Jill and Grant and left. Emily looked around and saw that JJ was still there talking with Henry. Emily needed to talk to her. And she needed to do it as soon as possible.

Charlie ran back to her mother after thanking all her friends for attending. "Are we going to the new house now or back to the old one?"

"We're staying at the old house for the rest of the week, but hopefully it'll be all ready by next weekend."

"Ok. Can Henry come over? He can help me play with all my new toys."

"Sweetie, not today. But tomorrow's pizza day. Why don't you ask Henry and JJ if they'd like to come over and join us?"

"Can I?" The excitement was back in her voice.

"Yeah, go do it." A few minutes later, Emily was packing up all of the presents when JJ walked up to her.

"Pizza night huh?" Stopping what she was doing, Emily turned around.

"Every other Sunday we make homemade dough and put on whatever toppings we want. It can get a little messy, but she enjoys it."

"Henry had fun today. And he's excited to come over and see his Emily and his Charlie tomorrow."

"His Charlie?"

"And his Emily." She added. There was an awkward silence. Emily didn't know what to say and JJ didn't know what to ask. On top of that, JJ didn't want to ruin a good day, and it was such a good day. She just decided to hold her questions for one more day. "So what time should we be there tomorrow?"

"Does one work for you? That way the kids could play for a little while, and uh, we can talk."

"One works. We'll see you then."

"I'm happy you came JJ."

"I am too. We'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye JJ."

"Bye Em." JJ walked away calling for Henry on the way out. "Let's go Henry."

"Bye Charlie. Bye Emily." He yelled back as he grabbed his mother's hand and exited the building. After finishing up with everything and thanking Mike for all he did, Charlie and Emily too ventured home.

Just a few hours later, Charlie was coming down from the day's adrenaline rush and sugar high, changing into pajamas after her bath. Emily too was showered and in a pair of satin pajamas. The two settled in Charlie's room to watch a favorite movie of theirs. They were real suckers for Christopher Robin and Winnie the Pooh. The rest of the gang wasn't so bad either. Who could deny Eeyore?

Even at the end of the movie, Charlie was fighting sleep. She was definitely tired; there was no denying that, but she wanted the excitement of the day to continue on. Emily couldn't blame her for that, but it was getting late, and she knew just how to relax her. She slowly began rubbing gentle circles on Charlie's back as she spoke to her. "Did you have a good day today?" Her words were soothing, quiet, and gentle.

"Mmhmm." The mumbling was a clear sign that sleep was starting to take over. "Thank you for my party."

"I'm glad you had fun." Emily, careful not to shift the bed too much, got up from the mattress and placed a kiss on her daughter's cheek. "Go to sleep Charlie Bear. I love you."

"I love you too mommy." She quietly escaped the room, carefully switching off the light and leaving the door ajar. She was exhausted. It was an eventful day and the following day promised to follow the pattern. Emily wasn't ready for bed though. She spent another two hours packing up the contents of her room, at least what she wouldn't need for the rest of their stay there. About three boxes later it was after midnight and she was ready to dive under her covers and snuggle deep into her bed. It was a long day, an almost perfect day, and she was happy to share that with her daughter. She just wished Charlie's father could've been there to share the day with them. But it was her fault he wasn't when he so easily could've been.

**So here's chapter three. Someone from the team finally knows. The next chapter deals with how Charlie came to be and there's a lot of JJ/Prentiss interaction. All will be revealed in due time.**

**Again, I apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors. Infallibility happens. **

**Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**

**In case I don't update before the first, Happy New Year! I hope 2012 brings good things to everyone. **


	4. Vaguely Answered Questions

Chapter 4: Vaguely Answered Questions

The following morning was spent much like the previous night, only Charlie was there to help. Emily instructed her to pack some things from her room like most of her books and stuffed animals; things she could easily pack without help or the possibility of breaking anything. And while she did that, Emily worked on packing the pictures and trinkets from the living room. Emily was starting to realize that her timeline was a little unrealistic, but she'd get as much done as she could by the end of the week. The apartment wasn't going anywhere just yet and as long as the house had the necessities and everything they deemed important, they'd be able to manage until the rest was brought over.

"Mama, when's Henry coming?" Charlie was being a little impatient. Emily bet Henry was too. In all honesty, she and JJ were as well in anticipation of the forthcoming conversation.

Emily looked at the clock, for the first time realizing how late in the day it actually was. "They should actually be here any minute. Did you get a lot done?"

"My books are all packed and so are my animals. Not Jazz though. I couldn't sleep without him." The hand me down monkey that once helped Emily sleep at night when the nightmares were just a little too real now comforted her daughter in the same way. It even kept its original name; Jazz. There were a ton of fond memories there that were being recreated with the carbon copy Prentiss. Emily was surprised the thing still had a leg to stand on, literally and figuratively.

"What about the other stuff?" She looked at her seriously. She wouldn't have been mad at whatever Charlie told her or scolded her for not getting enough done, but she wanted to know. Getting as much done as possible; that was the goal.

"I don't want to pack my toys. Then how can I play with them?"

"If you don't pack them, then how can you play with them at the new house?" The little girl looked deep in thought when the ding of the doorbell filled the room and all previous thoughts were lost. The pondering face of hers was quickly turned to a wide eyed expression as her whole body perked up.

"They're here!" She squealed as she ran straight to the door.

Getting up from her spot on the floor, Emily moved the few boxes in front of her into the coat closet and yelled out to Charlie. "Make sure you ask who it is first."

"But we know who it is." There was an uncharacteristic whine in her voice. It only came out on a very rare occasion. Apparently impatience when answering the door was one of those times.

"No we don't. Unless you can see through the door, we can't be sure."

"Who is it?" She asked through the thick door almost shaking for the go ahead from Emily to open it.

"It's Henry!" He yelled back. Emily was standing behind Charlie at that point.

"They're here." She said to Emily, an 'I told you so' smirk playing on the corners of her mouth.

"You can open it now." With that, she swung the door open and dragged Henry into the house.

The children ran up to Charlie's room in a fit of laughter before either Emily or JJ had a chance to say anything or even close the door. "Ok, well hi Emily."

"Hi JJ, come in."

"Thanks for having us over."

"I figured it was the least I could do, and Charlie loves Henry."

"Henry seems to love her too." Emily escorted JJ into the living room and down onto the couch so they could talk comfortably.

"I brewed some coffee. Would you like some?"

"That'd be great." She took her time making the coffee. She knew how JJ liked it and she was in no rush to be hit with an interrogation by a friend. Everyone knew she was a private person. She didn't like to show her emotions, but anything that involved Charlie immediately elicited a highly emotional response. Untold secrets tend to come with deep emotional baggage. And there were a lot of repressed memories there; a lot.

Emily was a little hesitant to begin, but she stalled enough. It was time to face the proverbial music. "Here's your coffee."

"Thank you." She gratefully accepted the mug and looked to Emily to make the first move. There needed to be an icebreaker or the tension would start to build.

"So I guess we should talk."

"Well, I guess I know why she reminded me so much of you."

"I guess so." There was a lot of guessing going on.

"Why didn't you tell me? Does anyone else know?"

"There's Mike, Sarah, and now you. No one from the team though."

"But why?"

"Sarah is a friend and she works as a nanny while I'm at work or we're away for cases. And Mike is Mike and he is a friend. I needed a friend." Obviously those weren't the only people who knew, but with the exception of a few others, those were the only constants in their lives that knew.

"But why not tell everyone?" That was the million dollar question. Wasn't it? Why hadn't Emily, a proud mother of a remarkable little girl, shouted it from the rooftops? There really wasn't a simple answer. There were many reasons, but only one came to mind at that moment.

"Because of her father." She didn't want to talk about him. She didn't want to get into the details. The truth was that she knew Charlie's father was a good man and he would be there if he knew about her, but there was so much more to the story. There was more than she could explain, more than she wanted to explain, especially with two little children playing right upstairs, but it was bound to come out at some point during Emily's pizza day secret divulging session.

"What about him? Is it Mike?" Emily let out a small laugh. There wasn't really much humor, but the thought of her and Mike, well, that was funny to her.

"No, Mike was, is, and always will be just a friend. There's nothing more going on there."

"Then what about her father?"

"He doesn't exactly know she exists." She felt JJ's eyes burning into her. Yup, she was preparing herself for a mass of questions. Some she wouldn't be able to answer. Others she just wouldn't want to. "Don't look at me like that Jayje."

"Emily…" There was a low demanding tone to her voice. A hint of subtle disappointment was also thrown in for good measure.

"And don't Emily me. It's a long story." She was a little frustrated, more flustered. All she wanted to give was a quick explanation, an apology for not being a better, more open friend, and then be done with it. The realist in her knew that wasn't going to happen. And she couldn't even count the hours she spent picking and biting her nails because she knew it would. She almost missed the days where "I got knocked up, tried and failed to tell him, haven't told him since, sorry that's all I can give you" would have worked for an answer. What happened to those days? She got close. They became her family. That's what happened.

"Is he a good man?"

"He is a great man, a really wonderful man."

"Would he be there for her if he knew?"

"I have no doubt that he would be there for her."

"Then why haven't you told him?"

"I have my reasons, my very complicated and messy reasons."

"Do you not think he'd make a good father?"

"He makes an excellent father." It was a genuine slip of the tongue. She knew she should have stayed with a simple yes or no. She was trained to be good at interrogations. She could handle her own in high pressure situations, but this was different. And luckily, JJ didn't seem to notice. At least, not right away.

"Then why not tell him?" Emily watched closely as she spoke and even more so when she, herself, answered. She was finally catching on to the slip. Emily could just tell.

"It's complicated. It's so much more complicated than I show up at his doorstep and say, 'Hey! Congratulations, you're a dad.'"

"Before you said that he makes, not would make, an excellent father. What did you mean by that?" And there it was. That didn't take long at all.

As if luck were on her side for once, it was at that very moment that the children decided to make an appearance. "Mommy what are you talking about?" She prayed that Charlie didn't hear the whole mention of the "f" word. It wasn't a swear or the normal reference to the word, but she dreaded the day that Charlie brought up her father more so than the passing glance over the topic they'd had in the past. She just hoped she figured things out by then; that and that it didn't happen for a long, long time.

"We were talking about you and how terrible you are." She joked. Charlie knew it too.

"No you weren't silly." Charlie responded playfully putting her hands on Emily's face. "Can we play on my new swings?"

"You have swings at the apartment?" JJ asked curiously.

"No we don't." Emily said before turning to Charlie. "The swings aren't here."

"Can we go to the big house and play outside?"

"Not today Charlie. But everything's out so you and Henry can make the dough. That's your favorite part."

Pouting, she dejectedly said. "Ok, fine."

"Go help Henry find the pizza aprons to keep your nice clothes clean."

"Ok, but when we're at the big house we can, right? They can come over?"

"If they want to, yes."

"What big house?" JJ finally asked after following the mother daughter conversation.

"The new house with my new room. It's pretty and purple."

"You're moving?"

"Charlie, take Henry and go get ready." She told the kids before turning to answer JJ's question. "I bought a house."

"Far?" She looked almost sad, like Emily was leaving them forever.

"Prescott Street."

"That's two streets over from my house."

"I know."

"Were you ever even going to tell me that? About anything?" This time she seemed angry. And Emily knew that she had the right to feel that way. She hasn't been very honest about much, but it still hurt her to know she upset one of her closest friends.

"I was planning on telling you today. I thought there were more pressing matters to discuss first. Was I wrong? Did you not want to get all your questions about Charlie out in the open?"

"I might actually forgive you if you answer some of my questions."

"I'll do my best. Let's just get the kids set up first."

"Fair enough." They made their way into the kitchen where the kids were laughing and playing, apron clad and standing on stools in front of the counter.

"We're ready!" Henry yelled with a giant look of elation on his little blonde head. JJ, taking the opportunity to really get to know Charlie, assisted her in the dough making while Emily helped Henry. A big mess and fifteen minutes later and the dough was done. Setting it aside to rise, the group went to clean up.

"Ok, we'll start cooking in an hour. Charlie, you should show Henry your heroes. I don't think we packed those and I have it on good authority that Henry happens to love super heroes." Charlie did too. She said that they were like her mom; always fighting off the bad guys. Otherwise, she'd say they were boy toys.

"I do!" He said, affirming Emily's statement. "Can we go play with them?"

"I'll show you them to you." Charlie walked over to Henry, took his hand, and escorted him to her room. Neither JJ nor Emily said anything until they heard the kids' little footsteps playing upstairs.

"They're great together."

"They really are."

"I wish they had each other all along." Emily could sense that the questions were still there. She really hadn't explained anything. And she was going to have to eventually. So, ignoring the small dig, Emily began.

"First, JJ, I want to say that I'm truly sorry for not telling you everything sooner. There are some things in life that you have to live through alone, some demons that haunt you. And sometimes those demons need to stay buried. And that's what I did. I buried them so deep in the boxes in my mind that I just didn't deal with it. That didn't make anything better. But Charlie… She's the best thing that ever happened to me. She happened at a time when things weren't right. I wasn't right. And she changed me. She made me forget, or at least try to. And when I started the bureau things became even more complicated."

"That doesn't make any sense, and I'll get to that. But, here's what I can't understand. For the past five years you've been working with some of the best profilers in the world. And, although we're not supposed to, we all know that we profile each other from time to time. How did no one know? How did you keep it from everyone? How did I not know? We've all been to your apartment."

"I'm a private person. I'm good at keeping secrets. I didn't want anyone to know and so you didn't. I knew that if Garcia went digging, she'd find some answers, but I also know that she wouldn't do that. But even if she did, there weren't many answers to find. Not the ones she'd be looking for anyway."

"Why are you being so cryptic about all of this? You don't have to hide any of this. We're your family too. At least I thought we were."

"You are JJ. You all are."

"Then why? You're obviously not ashamed of her…" Emily had to cut her off.

"Of course I'm not. She's, she's perfect."

"Then why is she a secret?" The question was so loaded.

"I had to protect her." The words came out rushed. She didn't mean to say it, but she needed to get it off her chest. It had been weighing her down for years and she trusted JJ, but she still couldn't tell her anything; not anything substantial at least. So in that moment, Emily decided to give what she could, purposefully being as vague as possible without making it obvious.

"Protect her? Protect her from what?" JJ was both worried and curious. What was there to protect her from? Was the father a bad man? No, Emily said he was a good man, and apparently a good father too. So then what was it? What could it possibly be? Or who?

"A lot happened before I… reconnected with Charlie's father. It all seems like such a long time ago, but I remember it all so clearly." She drifted off, reliving her memories through the movie in her mind, opening boxes so dusty the cobwebs had cobwebs. Or maybe it wasn't as buried as she thought. It was always right there in the forefront of her mind, a memory waiting to be accessed, just ignored.

_He watched her from across the room. She could feel his eyes on her all night. He was trying to figure out who she was and how he knew her. After a long time letting him ponder the thoughts that were swirling around in his mind, she decided to join him at the bar. He was downing a second, or maybe third, scotch when she got there. "I know you." He directly stated when she slipped onto the stool next to him._

"_You do. We met while I was in college." She replied, a lingering smile on her face. He was always so cute, but when she was younger she never had the courage to do anything about it. _

"_You're the ambassador's daughter. Emily Prentiss?"_

"_That's me." She answered nonchalantly. _

"_I'm…"_

"_I know who you are." She interrupted. There was no need for formalities. She knew the names and then he knew them too. She just wanted to put him out of his misery, keep him from going crazy thinking of who she was and how he knew her as he stared at her from the distance, and she wanted to see how he was doing. By the looks of the stiff drink in his hand, he was in about as good a mood as she was. Neither wanted to be at the stupid event, but Emily promised her mother and he had a work obligation for being there. Neither of those reasons kept them from drowning out the rest of the noise with a little bit of alcohol._

"_It has been what? Ten years?"_

"_Something like that. How have you been?" _

"_I've seen better days." A bartender walked over as they spoke. Emily silently ordered another of her Vodka on the rocks. "And by the looks of it, so have you."_

"_It has been a rough couple of months." The bartender picked the right time to bring her the fresh drink as the atmosphere turned a little glum. Raising the glass to him, Emily tipped it to him and said, "Here's to better days."_

"_To better days." He repeated, clinking his glass to hers. In silence, they sipped their drinks, both dealing with their own brand of inner turmoil. _

_He was dealing with his failing marriage. He had a kid at home that he loved spending every free second with, but his wife didn't like how dedicated he was to his job. She felt neglected, and, after fight and fight again, they finally decided to go with a trial separation. They were still together. They still lived in the same house .They just made a point to start over. They slept in separate bedrooms and went on dates, both with each other and, if they chose to, other people as well. They were trying to make it work however they could. Problem was that, for him at least, it really wasn't working. She still found faults in everything he did, and when he tried it different the next time, it was still wrong. They'd have to work on themselves before they could work on them. Until they did that, he didn't know what kind of marriage they could ever have. Would there be anything left to salvage? He wasn't sure, and in the moment he wasn't even sure he cared. It was just about his son._

_Emily was dealing with a whole different set of problems. Most of her problems were all psychological. But there was also the looming threat of danger hanging over her head. She just spent two years undercover working to take down an international arms dealer. Ian Doyle was a ruthless man. Blind to the people he killed or had killed over a mere disagreement or that he was selling illegal weapons to terrorists and anti government militias, he was the perfect man. He had this uncanny ability to suck anyone in, to make them believe he was an average citizen, maybe even a Good Samaritan at times. It was all a veiled lie covered in charm to help him get away with all his wrong doings. If Emily wasn't briefed before meeting him, briefed before she turned into Lauren Reynolds, she just may have fallen for it, for him. _

_But even knowing every body he buried and every child's death his actions, be it directly or indirectly, had a part in, she found herself liking him. She could've never loved him, but she found it easier to play the part. It bothered her that it was so easy for her to become someone else. And it bothered her even more that she willingly let him touch her to get closer to what she was searching for. But she had to get over it. She just kept telling herself that it was one of those things where the ends justified the means. It didn't make her feel any better though. Every single conflicting emotion was running through her body. It wasn't her first undercover assignment. During her time in Interpol she was on loan to the CIA more often than not. Her language skills tended to come in handy, somewhat of a hot commodity, and she helped take down quite a few targets. None of them lasted as long as the final mission. Two very long years later and they finally closed in on him. They got everything they needed, but something spooked him. A leak from one of the agencies involved with the task force must've tipped him off. That was the only explanation that made any sense. And even that didn't really make any sense at all. _

_It was her last day undercover when things went wrong. There was no warning, no pre-empted sign to let the agents know that they were making the arrest; there was nothing. But somehow, Ian knew. There were two undercover agents in there. One was Emily posing as an associate and girlfriend. The other was Tsia, posing as Emily's connection Lila Rafferty; a partner in crime. But in real life, she was Emily's friend and colleague. And that was the day she died. At the time it all seemed like a blur. _

"What happened?" JJ asked moving closer to make sure she didn't miss a beat.

"A friend of mine died." She couldn't tell her the whole story or even the real story. Not only were there all sorts of classified nonsense, but she didn't want to be looked at any differently. JJ was her best friend and telling her that she slept with an arms dealing terrorist in order to gain his trust and take down the entire organization really wasn't something she wanted to live through or ever experience. She basically prostituted herself out to get dirt on the bad guy. It's hard not to pass judgment.

"Oh, I'm sorry." She didn't like the lack of details. Emily wasn't really elaborating on anything. She could only think of two things that could mean. One; Emily didn't trust her and really didn't want to open up. She wasn't inclined to believe that one. And two; there was more to the story than she'd ever know and most of it wasn't good. That was the more believable one. "But I don't understand. What does that have to do with Charlie?"

_Emily, Tsia, Ian, and his right hand man Liam were dining on the terrace of the Tuscan villa they were all staying at. After two years, twenty two months of which were spent in a romantic "relationship," Emily got Ian to the point where he trusted her completely. He told her everything she needed to hear to take him down. His alias as Valhalla was finally out in the open. The rogue IRA captain was ripe for the takedown. Immediately, she thought her and Tsia would be able to return to their lives soon; to their friends and family who haven't heard from them in over two years except for the occasional letter or phone call their handler allowed. That didn't happen often. This was the last mission the JTF-12 would have. But things didn't go as planned._

"_What's wrong Ian? You look distracted." Emily asked, playing the role of concerned girlfriend._

"_It's nothing my love." He answered with his heavy Irish accent. His phone began ringing and he abruptly stood from the table. "Excuse me. I have to take this." His goon followed him out of the room and left them out there alone._

"_We should be out soon." She whispered as she leaned into her friend's side._

"_Hopefully soon." Neither could wait to get out of there. Pretending to be someone else was only fun for so long. The novelty runs out fairy quickly. Their conversation ended there as the men returned to the table. Emily would ask herself later how she missed the different look in their eyes. There was something amiss; something deadly. _

_Later that day, Emily and Ian were sitting in front of the crackling fire, cuddled on the couch. He was stroking her hair lovingly. It was very reminiscent of a few days prior. They were sitting in the exact same place in the exact same way, and he was telling her that he wanted a family with her, that he wanted to raise children with her. He wanted the perfect life with her, for her. They would have everything together. Anything she wanted, he'd get for her. It was a fairytale and she wished it was anyone else telling her the things she always wanted to hear from a man. The conversation they had then, however, was completely different._

"_You'd never betray me. Would you love?" She was startled by the question, but she couldn't let it show. Lauren wouldn't have been spooked by that. She probably would've jumped his bones and proved her love for him. But Emily wasn't willing to do that. She may have talked the talk, but she couldn't always walk the walk. She, instead, tried to placate him, hoping that it wasn't suspicion, but insecurity fueling the line of questioning._

"_Never Ian." She stated, turning her head to look in his eyes. She was trained to lie and make it more believable than the truth could've ever been. "I could never betray you."_

"_Promise me Lauren." There was something in his voice. It was desperation, but she couldn't hear that at first. She just heard a man hoping his woman was faithful._

"_I promise." And that should've been the end of it, but Emily didn't know that the phone call he received earlier that morning was a warning. Someone told him there was a snitch somewhere in the tight knit group. Liam was quick to blame Lauren. He always said that she was too good to be true, but Ian wouldn't believe it. He loved her, so he just couldn't believe it. He chose not to. And that was what spared her life._

"_Good." He said before leaning down and kissing her. "Because I love you Lauren."_

"_You too Ian." She couldn't bring herself to physically say the words. But she did get this sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. Something was going on and she needed to warn Tsia. "I'm going to make some tea. Would you like some?" She asked as she stood from his embrace. _

"_I'll have Louise make it. Come relax."_

"_You know I don't like others to do things for me. I'm a big girl Ian. I can handle making a pot of tea. Water, kettle stove, I got it."_

"_Yes, I'll have a mug." Emily quickly made her way into the kitchen and pulled out her phone. She'd make the tea to keep up appearances, but she needed to call her friend. So once she knew she was clear of prying eyes and listening ears, she dialed the number. It took a few rings before she answered._

"_Lauren?"_

"_Where are you?"_

"_I just came into the house. Liam called me over." That was worrisome enough. Liam was more paranoid than a drug abusing schizophrenic and always had suspicions about both of them. He sure as hell never called either of them unless it was something big._

"_You need to get out." Her voice was quiet. She had this eerie feeling that something was going to happen, and it was going to happen soon. And whatever it was wasn't going to be pretty._

"_Are you ok? Did something happen?"_

"_He was asking me odd questions. I think he knows. Just get out. Call back and say you can't make it."_

"_And what about you?"_

"_I'll be fine. Just do it." That was the last thing she said to her friend before she died; the last conversation they'd ever share was a warning or a failed attempt at one. The next thing Emily heard was Ian's yelling. _

"_They're coming." He yelled to Liam. She looked out the window to see who they were. The extraction team was on its way. That was hard to miss. There weren't a lot of them and there wasn't a big show. It was just that the area they were in didn't get many people driving by and the car screamed "government."_

_The next thing she knew, she heard a single gunshot and then nothing. The place was filled with an unnatural silence as the suits came in for the extraction. There was a lot she didn't remember, and at the end of the day it didn't matter. They didn't catch the guy and her friend was still dead. The details were all fuzzy. She did remember getting sick after seeing her friend's lifeless body. The vision of open eyes staring at her would haunt her forever like they were condemning her for failing and pleading to be saved. She did remember Ian making a call as he made a hasty exit before the team got to him and she was taken away and thrown into a car. Everything in between was just muddled information. They didn't get him. They got the information, but at what cost? Tsia didn't have to die. No one had to die. That was the point._

"Long story short, my friend died, and I was involved with a bad man. Said man, if he ever found out, would think Charlie is his and wouldn't hesitate to take her and kill me if he ever found her." JJ looked concerned, but she still didn't quite understand.

"Is he her father?"

"No, he's not her father."

"Ok, so I get the danger, but why not tell the team? We could help you, protect you."

"I didn't need protection from him." Now JJ was even more confused. Emily could tell. Who wouldn't be? She was divulging half truths and leaving out a lot of the stuff that makes the story understandable, like most everything. "He's in prison now. And I'm sure he had people watching me, but as far as he's concerned, I don't exist anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm dead to him." It was an ominous statement at best. She was dead to him. That she was. He escaped from the extraction team, but they caught him nearly a year later rebuilding his organization with some of his old contacts the CIA had been monitoring. Shortly after that, they faked her death. Lauren Reynolds was as dead as Tsia. Only difference was that Tsia was a real person, Lauren wasn't.

"This isn't helping to make sense of the situation. None of this explains why you haven't told anyone about Charlie."

She wanted to be helpful, but she honestly didn't know how. She should've told them about her years ago. She definitely should have told him. But it was like the lie took on a life of its own. One minute it was an "I'll tell him soon" type thing, then things became even more complicated after she learned a few other things, and then it just seemed like the lie was already out there and it would be too much to explain. "Did I mention he was married?"

"Charlie's father was married? While you two…" She made some weird hand gesture that was supposed to fill in the blank.

"Yes, while we were involved. But I didn't know it at the time." There was a silence that filled the room as JJ looked at her waiting for more. Emily wasn't exactly comfortable opening up, but she effectively changed the direction of the conversation and she had to see where she landed. She was taught to keep everything to herself, compartmentalize, and move on. But it was JJ, and if you couldn't tell your best friend things, then who could you tell? "And it wasn't exactly a relationship either."

"You know you can't leave it at that right? You've been vague about everything else and I hadn't pushed it, but you have to give me something here. Tell me what happened with him." She was grasping at straws. Emily wasn't giving her much more than the bare minimum and she was struggling to put all the pieces together. There was a bad guy, her friend was killed, and he was married. What else was there? And who was he?

"Well what do you want to know?"

"You said you reconnected with him. You should start there. What does that mean?"

"I met him before, through my mother of all people. He worked for her, with her, whatever. I was about nineteen at the time and I had the biggest crush on him. I really only met him in passing. I was home during a break from school and we got to know each other a little. It was nothing in detail, just small talk really. I was there for a week and I'd see him every day. And I, being the rebellious young adult I was, would chase after him if for no other reason than to make my mother upset. She made fraternization off limits. And I had a thing for pushing limits, especially those set by her, but I was gone that Sunday and I just let it go."

"So how did you meet up with him again?"

"My mother was throwing a gala in honor of some foreign dignitary. It was Valentine's Day actually."

"Romantic… And?" This was the most JJ ever got out of Emily. There may have been big chunks missing, but she wasn't going to just let the train stop. She was going to ride it through and see what the final destination was.

"I didn't want to go, but my mother practically forced me out of the house." She sighed. "I had been working for a long time. I hadn't seen my mother in a while." Remembering the shrill tone of her mother complaining about how she had been ignoring the numerous phone calls and how it was disrespectful to just ignore family for such a long time practically sent chills down Emily's spine. "It was a week after my friend died and I was off from work. Like I said, I really wasn't in the best place, but I had to go; ambassador's daughter and all, it was my duty. He was the only one in the room who looked the same way I felt. I recognized him right away, but he seemed to be having trouble remembering me, and I could feel him looking at me all night. Finally, to put him out of his misery, I approached him at the bar. He remembered me then." Emily stopped as she heard the kids approaching. JJ, not wanting Emily to stop, quickly helped her with the kids, got the pizza in the oven and told them to play until the food was ready. As neglectful as it seemed, she knew they were safe and having fun, and she really wanted to hear the rest of the story.

"Keep going." Emily laughed at her anxiousness, but she also liked that she was finally getting some of the weight off her chest. It had been sitting there like an elephant suffocating her for years. It was a welcomed change to talk about it, even if it was in fragmented bits and pieces.

"We talked a little, drank a little, danced some, and drank a little more."

"Did he ask you or did you ask him?"

"He asked me to dance."

"_To better days." He repeated. They stayed in silence for a while just sipping their drinks, neither saying anything to anyone. For some time, they just stayed like that enjoying the comfort the silence of each other's company offered. Emily turned in her seat to face the rest of the room. She was looking for her mother, she said her hellos and was hoping to avoid her for the rest of the night, and instead she saw a few couples dancing. It made her laugh when she saw this six foot something man dancing with a tiny woman, his feet practically squishing hers with every step. The sound of her laughter was enough for him to turn and see what put a smile on misery's company. When he followed her gaze he couldn't help but join her, a genuine smile reaching his face for the first time that night._

"_I didn't know you knew how to smile." She teased. She wanted to add in "or laugh," but she enjoyed the sound and didn't want to ruin it. She barely heard him laugh the first time they met, so it was easily like a Beethoven symphony, perfect music to her ears. They'd spent the next fifteen minutes catching up, slowly sipping on their next drink, and making fun of the other gala attendees and their atrocious dancing._

_He'd wanted to ask her since she sat down next to him, even more so after her slightly dimpled smile graced her face and the sounds of her perfect laugh created goose bumps on his body. "Care to dance?" He asked nervously as he stood and held out a hand._

"_And have other slightly inebriated guests gawk and laugh at us? I don't know." She teased, not taking his hand._

"_How about we show them how it's done?" It seemed like an enticing offer. She wanted to see him move._

"_Ok." She put her hand in his and allowed him to aid her to her feet. "Let's show them how it's done." Together, still hand in hand, they made their way to the dance floor. On the way, Emily did a quick sweep of the room, looking all over to make sure her mother wasn't watching. She didn't want a talking to later and, if her mother saw them, she was sure she'd get one. So when the coast was clear, she was relieved and easily allowed her body to relax into his dance hold._

_As soon as they hit the dance floor, the slowest of slow songs started to play. They were hesitant at first. It was a little more intimate than they intended, but, with the amount of liquid courage they consumed, it didn't take much for them to fall right into each other's embrace. His arms were wrapped tight against her as her head rested perfectly against his shoulder. They stayed like that for several songs, just holding each other, comfortable with their hands around one another._

"_You're a good dancer." She told him, slightly surprised. He pulled away just enough to see her face while they talked and still able to hold her warmth against his body._

"_You're very good too, but you seem surprised. Why?"_

"_I never pictured you as graceful and dapper, at least not on the dance floor. Poised and controlled, yes."_

"_Then I'm glad I could surprise you." They'd yet to part. He looked to his watch. "It's getting late."_

"_Do you have somewhere you need to be?" She looked up at him with her big brown eyes slightly pleading for him to say no._

"_No, you?" He was quick to answer, hoping her answer would be the same. Neither was ready to say goodbye._

"_Just here. Nowhere else." For the first time in years, Emily felt safe. His strong manly arms wrapped around her put her at ease, made her relax. She didn't want to leave them, but she knew she was pushing her luck with her mother. He knew it too._

"_Drink?"_

"_Love to." Looking like the couple they weren't, they returned to their still open seats at the bar. They started talking again, drinking again. They were way past sober, but weren't exactly sloppy drunk. The alcohol, however, was enough to impede their inhibitions. "Do you want to go for a walk?" It wasn't meant to be as seductive as it was. She hadn't been around that many people in some time and she needed to get away. She could tell he was a little claustrophobic as well. It was really an innocent gesture, not a way to get him alone and into her clutches. But he already was, so it didn't matter either way._

"_After you." He said with his gentlemanly manners, once again holding out a hand. Emily gave him a tour of the grounds. She remembered most of it fairly well, but she hadn't been there in over two years, and her mother only moved in when she returned to the states several years prior. "It's a nice night." The silence was broken as they stood on a balcony attached to one of the bedrooms. It over looked the back garden, a stone fountain glistening with hints of moonlight. It was a stellar sight, beautiful beyond words._

"_It is." She turned to him, still leaning against the fence. "I love the stars."_

"_It's a perfect night for gazing. The sky is clear enough to see them."_

_The silence overtook them again. No words needed to be said. They were content enough to feel safe without words or reassurance. Neither realized that they were inching closer until their arms brushed up against one another. Leaning sideways against the rail, he used his hand to spin her to face him. Looking deep into her eyes, hers staring just as intently into his equally chocolate ones, he simply said, "Thanks for keeping me company tonight. I don't think I would have enjoyed myself at all otherwise."_

_Not intentionally seductive, she responded, "My pleasure Mr.…" But she never got to finish the sentence as he pulled her flush against him and gently put his lips to hers. It caught her by surprise, but she quickly became a willing participant. She backed away for a moment to take it all in, asking him if that was what he really wanted. He had no issue telling her yes and capturing her lips once again as soon as it was clear that she wanted it too. The kiss only heated up from there, slowly deepening to a more passionate exchange as they worked their way back into the bedroom._

_His hand ran down her thigh leisurely scrunching up the hem of her gown as her hands roamed under his suit jacket, delicately untucking his shirt at his waist. Escalation came quickly. She slid his jacket off and allowed her hands to make contact with his bare chest after removing the stuffy tie and unbuttoning the stiff dress shirt. He had her dress bunched at her waist and his hand lingering at the edge of her underwear caressing the pale skin of her exposed stomach. His already tousled shirt was the next thing to hit the floor before Emily made her way to his belt buckle._

_Pants hanging by his feet, he slipped out of them and pushed Emily toward the bed, carefully sliding the dress off her shoulders quietly watching every inch of her body being exposed as it gracefully fell to the floor. As soon as the soft material met the same fate as the rest of the clothes, he wasted no time lying her down, claiming her, if only for the night, as his._

_Emily had no problem relinquishing the control. He seemed like a man who needed to take charge, and if he wanted to be on top, she wasn't going to stop him. It wasn't like either of them to be so careless and reckless. Neither really jumped into bed with people who were little more than acquaintances, but it felt right. They felt right to each other. He liked the feel of her smooth milky skin pressed against his as their heat ignited. She liked the way his rough hands touched her in ways that could only be described as perfect and the way she felt whole with him inside of her. She even liked the hint of stubble from his face against hers as their mouths attacked in a heated frenzy._

_They went a few rounds that night and well into the morning, the arousal and excitement of the other keeping them fighting to be satiated. They knew it'd make for an awkward conversation in the later morning, but they were too busy living in the pleasure that was their now. And when all was said and done, they laid there, snuggled in the warm, nude embraces under nothing but a simple blanket, happy to have and be with each other. They didn't know why they were so absolutely comfortable with each other, why they felt safe and free in the other's presence, but they weren't going to question it. Knowing it wasn't going to last, they just soaked it up and enjoyed the feeling of complete perfection while they had it. And while it wasn't truly the case, they'd attribute their actions to imbibing in too much alcohol later._

"Was it good?" The conversation was uncensored, but Emily immediately blushed, "It was wasn't it? How good?" The knowing smile on her face said it all. Emily didn't even have to respond, but JJ wanted details.

"JJ." The red of her cheeks deepened from a pale pink to a rich crimson.

"Emily." She waited for her to speak up, but Emily remained stoic. "Be honest, how good was it?"

"Let's just leave it at he was a very good dancer." The answer was enough to bring a devilish grin to JJ's face. She was like a kid waiting to open presents Christmas morning.

"But how good?"

"It was great ok? It was very, very… good." She would indulge no more. That was all JJ was going to get about that, at least for the time being.

"You're no fun."

"I know."

"Ok fine, what happened next?"

"We parted amicably." That wasn't a lie at all. They had fun and wanted to do it again, but that seemed impossible. Neither knew where they'd be a few hours from then, never mind a few days or weeks. And, he had a wife at home he was trying to work things out with an Emily had problems of her own. Besides, they thought that was the end of it. They just didn't know how wrong they actually were.

"Amicably? What does that even mean in that situation?"

Emily laughed. "It means that we talked a little, even had breakfast together, spent most of the day together, but come nightfall, we went our own way." She left out the very intimate details of the very steamy shower they shared and the fact that they barely left her bedroom once that day. She didn't need to know that the only time they weren't together was when Emily had to make her presence at the house known and ran to the kitchen around noon to forage a little brunch and let her mother know that she was indeed there but was still tired from the wonderful party she threw. She hoped her mother got the hint that she was not to be disturbed. But she wasn't worried; there was little chance her mother would end up in that wing of the house anyway.

"And then you found out you were pregnant?"

"I was sick for a good few weeks before I went to the doctor. I still had my period, or I thought that's what it was, so I honestly didn't think I was pregnant. I just, I felt terrible. I couldn't stop throwing up. I had a migraine that wouldn't go away. But I, being me, just tried to fight through it. I almost lost her before I even knew she existed." That last sentence hung in the air. It really got JJ's attention.

"Almost lost her?"

"I wasn't taking care of myself, especially when I wasn't feeling well. I couldn't eat, and I wasn't sleeping. I definitely wasn't relaxed. I mainlined caffeine like it was necessary to live, and finally I couldn't take it anymore. I set up an appointment for the following day. Mike was in town so he said he'd take me. He was worried. I wouldn't admit it, but I was too." JJ and Emily shared a knowing look. Emily was stubborn and it was hard for her to admit that she might have needed help. So for her to admit she was worried was a little shocking. "Anyway, I was getting ready to leave and I felt light headed. It wasn't the first time so I wasn't too concerned at first, but it felt different. And then I felt a shooting pain." She instinctively placed her hand over her stomach, exactly where the pain was all those years ago. "The lightheadedness grew stronger. I couldn't really walk. The next thing I knew I was waking up in a hospital. It's a little cliché, I know, but Mike found me passed out on the floor and got me to the emergency room." She exhaled a deep breath. She could see JJ was waiting for her to elaborate. "Apparently, I actually was sick. That combined with the stress and the pregnancy made everything worse. So I was severely dehydrated and needed some rest. Everything was out of whack and when the doctor told me I need to be more careful if I wanted the pregnancy to go smoothly, I sat up in the bed, mouth wide open, completely dumbfounded. He told me I was about nine weeks along." She did the math. She checked and double checked, and then checked again. It was definitely his child, not Ian's. And that she was thankful for. As scared as she was to learn she was pregnant, she knew she wanted that baby. She made a choice many years earlier not to have a child, but she was young and that time was different. She was older then and could handle it. She wanted that baby more than she ever knew she did, and it was the best decision she ever made.

"Seeing her now beautiful and, I assume, healthy, I'm going to guess everything turned out ok." Emily nodded allowing JJ to ask her next question. "Did you tell him?"

"After I found out I was pregnant, I took off for a while." That too was truth, but she failed to mention that part of the reasoning for that was because she was sure there were people still following her and a sociopath that she worked to take down was still on the run. She was still a little paranoid after the undercover work. She couldn't take the stress of looking over her shoulder whenever she made a move. There was too much risk to her unborn child.

"Took off?" JJ asked as they got the kids set up with their food. They were settled at the kitchen island as the adults moved to the dining table and began speaking in hushed tones over the squeals and whispers of the kids.

"I spent some time up in the mountains to clear my head, figure some things out. The French Alps are, not surprisingly, beautiful." She enjoyed the quiet summers spent in the solitude of her grandfather's cabin. It was still there, still in the family; she wanted to get that back. She wanted to be somewhere away from it all but still connected to what mattered. The cabin was updated, running water and all. So she went there to nurture the family she was creating with memories of the one she had.

"But did you tell him?" She repeated the earlier question.

"I took a week to wrap my head around it. Then I looked him up, tried to find a number or an address in, anything that wouldn't require asking my mother. I couldn't find anything. He was unlisted and the number I had from when we were younger no longer worked. And why would it? Eventually though, I caved and got the number from my mother's assistant telling him that I needed to get a hold of the guy because he left something behind at the gala." The assistant bought the excuse even weeks after the fact. He did actually leave something behind that night; two things if the baby counted. His tie was still hanging around, buried with some other keepsakes and memories.

"And…?"

"When I called a woman answered. I thought I had the wrong number, so I tried again and a few more times after that. I never actually got a hold of him. I should've known that the woman was his wife. I'm glad I never left my name." She let out a dry, humorless chuckle. "After that I just needed to get away. I wasn't due until December and after my next checkup the doctor cleared me for travel just told me to get in touch with another doctor wherever I went."

"But she was born in November." She both stated and questioned.

"She was early, but I'm getting to that."

"Continue then."

"I spent a few months in France. A friend was there and he checked up on me from time to time." Clyde had been good to her. He was looking after her because of Doyle, but also because they genuinely cared about each other. "I flew back early October so she could be born in the states and I needed to get everything ready. With help I turned the office into her nursery." She pointed to the stairs like JJ would know that the room that now sheltered the young girl was once a file filled mess that Emily spent hours working in. "Everything was done by the time she got here, but I really wasn't expecting her when she came. My water broke when Mike and I were supposed to go out. Poor Mike always showed up when something was happening. We got to the hospital and I was panicking. It was too early and I didn't want to lose her. The doctors tried to stop the labor, but she was as stubborn as me and wanted to make her appearance. So after what felt like forever, on November 13th at 3:57 in the morning, Charlotte Prentiss entered the world. She was a gorgeous baby, small, but developed, perfect. Then again I'm biased."

"She's still beautiful." Like a knee jerk reaction, both sets of eyes went to the two beautiful children they created. Henry had a lot of both his parents, more JJ. And Charlie, she was all Emily. There were hints of her father in there, but no dead giveaways. "Does she know who her father is?"

"I tell her all about him, but she doesn't know his name. She has seen pictures of him, but she doesn't know it's him." Even after seeing the pictures, she wouldn't recognize him in person. She never studied the faces or had any reason to remember that face.

"What does she think?"

"She thinks that daddy is out saving the world like mommy and just can't be there for her."

"That's right." It was like a light bulb was going off in her head. Things were starting to come together. Emily said something about him earlier and now she was curious. "You said before that when you started at the bureau things became more complicated. How? Is that about him?"

"The first day I showed up at Quantico I saw him. I thought about running, but the spot I wanted on the unit finally opened up and I was more than qualified." There was a slight pause like Emily was collecting her thoughts, replaying those first days in her mind. "Then I thought about telling him. The plan was always to tell him, but I couldn't on my first day. I thought I could avoid him." She thought she could, until she realized exactly what his position was at the FBI. That changed things a little… a lot. "I decided to see how things went first. But it was hard seeing him all the time." It was hard ignoring what she felt for him. It was hard trying not to remember that night, that perfect passionate night, every time she looked him in the eyes.

"So he works at the FBI. Have I met him?" JJ was excited like she was solving a live puzzle, one that didn't include dead bodies and tortured victims. Emily didn't want to answer that. Instead she just looked at JJ, hoping the question would be forgotten. It wasn't, and after a few moments of intense staring, Emily finally answered.

"Yes."

"Have we worked with him?" Almost every day, except weekends, and sometimes then too.

"Yup." The p popped with finality and JJ knew that all elaboration was gone. They were back to the vague answers that barely got the point across.

"Why haven't you told him?"

"A few months in, I found out he was married with a kid at home. That was around the time I resigned. It was only part of the reason I wanted to transfer, but someone convinced me to come back." She rolled her eyes just thinking about that time. She was upset that she so willingly slept with him and trusted him only to be hurt in the end, but she still wanted to forgive him. She didn't know the whole story, and she never gave him the chance to tell it. "After about a year, I just got used to it. I shoved it into one of my mind's boxes and pretended I didn't have to work with him or see him. That's why I didn't tell the team. After so much time passed I just didn't know how anymore." Granted at first, it wasn't just about her anger about him being married, it was about Doyle too, but once he was caught, that excuse was gone.

"So tell them now." Emily's eyes went wide as she snapped her head to attention.

"No!" The answer was harsh and too quick. JJ immediately knew there was more to the story. She also knew she wouldn't get anything if she pushed her friend. So she'd wait, unhappily. "What I meant was that I'll tell them when I'm ready. And I'm asking you, as my friend, not to tell them either. Please." She pleaded. She didn't want him to find out like that. She needed to be the one to tell him in her own time.

"I promise, but you know Garcia is going to be upset that you haven't told her and, more importantly, that she hasn't had the chance to spoil that girl rotten."

"I know, but on a lighter note, Henry's turning six next week. Are you doing anything for him?"

"Changing the subject?" JJ laughed; Emily was a master at that.

"Yes. So what are you doing?"JJ let it slide. She actually heard more than she expected and hoped it would happen again at a later date.

"It's going to be fun. You should let Charlie come with us."

"Where?"

"Well, we're taking Henry and Jack…"

"Jack's going to be there?" Emily interrupted. JJ wanted to question it, but decided not to.

"Yeah, is that a problem?"

"No, it's not." She clarified, hoping JJ wouldn't ask any more. "So where are you taking the birthday boy?"

"Friday afternoon we're taking them to the new pirate themed arcade and restaurant. You should come too."

"I would love to, but I want us to be all moved in by the end of the weekend. However, I did get Henry a present and I'm sure Charlie would love to go."

"Ok then. Let me know if you need some help moving in. I'd love to see the place."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, and I'd love to help."

"No. I mean yes. Thank you for that too, but thank you for listening and being here but restraining yourself. I know it's hard and I'm not very forthcoming, but you're a good friend, so thank you."

"You're welcome, and thank you for trusting me." The rest of their time together was spent talking about anything else and playing with the children. Around eight that evening, Henry and JJ left the Prentiss apartment. The kids wanted to play longer and the adults were pleased by their growing bond, but there was school in the morning and it was time for bed. After bath time and a goodnight story, Emily tucked Charlie into her bed.

"Night Charlie Bear, I love you."

"I love you too mommy." And those were words she loved to hear. She just wished Charlie's father could hear them too. And he could… If she told him… and he forgave her. In those fleeting moments she realized, not for the first time, that he could be there, and maybe it was time he was. While Charlie never directly asked who he was, she knew that the curious mind that she passed down to the little munchkin had to be thinking about it. There was only so long they could avoid the topic and there were only so many times she'd buy the "he's out saving the world like mommy" line that she had thrown out there. It was true, for the most part, but it wasn't enough. Emily had to find a way to talk to him, to fill him in, because now that JJ knew, now that it was out there, she had more reason to tell him. And when she went to work on Monday, and every day after that, she'd think about it more and more. She spent a minimum of five working days a week with him, and she'd been avoiding it for far too long. Emily Prentiss needed to work things out in her mind and find a way to tell him because her daughter deserved a father and Aaron Hotchner deserved to know about his daughter.

**So it's out there. It's a Hotchner girl. Emily and Hotch are my favorite pairing. I find her and Reid too sibling like to write about intimate encounters. Rossi is more like a father figure/friend in my eyes. And Morgan, well I could get behind that pairing too, but Hotch and Emily just work for me.**

**I'm pretty proud of this chapter. It's long, but I liked the way it turned out. I didn't want it to be too smutty so I went light on that, but if you want more let me know. I'm sure there'll be a next time.**

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**


	5. The What ifs of Life

Chapter 5: The What ifs of Life

Emily spent the week coming up with ways to tell him. Every time she found herself in a conversation with him, looking into his eyes searching for the answers, all words would be lost. Everything he said was barely absorbed as she played different scenarios out in her head like some twisted form of rehearsal. She couldn't foresee any positive outcome; none came with the perfect happy ending that all the movies promised. She could be wrong though. That's what she kept telling herself. It could all work out just fine. Her mind was just so used to seeing all the evil and malice that the world had to offer, that the thought of an actual happy ending didn't seem feasible. She'd go with that theory. It made her seem less cynical and disheartening. Her reasoning, however, was still a little pathetic.

One day she even found herself in the middle of packing, taking a break to go through a scrapbook she kept for him. Her intention was to give it to him when Charlie was just a baby, after a few short months of not knowing and catching up, after Doyle was gone and the threat looming over her head had dissipated. It was supposed to be a few short months of baby Charlie and then a lifetime of them together. But in the end, there was half a decade worth of memories captured on film that he was not a part of. She realized it was a mess of her own making, but as she flipped through the decorative pages, she couldn't help but daydream. What if Hotch knew? What if she had told him right away? What if he was involved in their lives? Would all events still have happened the same way? Would Charlie have fallen and skinned her knee the first time she rode a bike if Hotch was there? Would she have had help coming up with a better answer to the question 'where do babies come from' instead of avoiding it until Charlie asked again and she came up with a stale explanation that she had no idea if it was good enough or not? What would things be like in the present? How would they have changed? How involved would he be? Would he have wanted anything to do with them then? Would he want to now? There were just so many questions. Some of them would never get an answer.

She was about to put the book away when she came across one picture that she particularly loved. They were at the beach eating ice cream. They both had a fondness for chocolate. Sarah and Jill were with them. She insisted that the two of them looked so cute together that she just had to take a picture, Charlie's chocolate dairy mustache and all. The picture made them look adorable and innocent. And Charlie was, but that's not what she remembered most about that day. Right after the picture was taken, Charlie got a little quiet. She was looking around the beach like the bench they were sitting on was a lookout post and she was given the watchdog honor.

"_What's going on in that head of yours Charlie?"_

_Still licking at her ice cream, Charlie turned to Emily and asked, "How come all those kids are with their daddies?" It was really the first time Emily had to deal with that question. Her father was brought up before, but mostly in passing and she never really asked why he wasn't there. Emily always told her that Hotch, leaving out his name of course, was a decent man, a kind, gentle man who works very hard. She'd say nothing but good things. Because when the day came, she didn't want her to resent Hotch for not being there. She really thought about that question though. How come all those kids had their daddies, but she didn't? That wasn't exactly what she asked, but Emily knew that was what she meant. But how does someone explain the situation to a four year old? And how does she do it without making herself for Hotch out to be the bad guy?_

"_Well, what do you mean Charlie? Why wouldn't they be with their daddies?" Deciding to go with the long approach, she thought that maybe Charlie would lose interest and allow her to come up with a good enough answer. She should know what to say to her own daughter, but she really seemed at a loss. It was pathetic and sad, but it was the only real option at the time._

"_I'm not with my daddy." It was a simple statement, but it carried so much weight. Seeing that it was a private moment between the mother and daughter, Sarah quietly excused herself and took Jill for a walk. Emily was grateful for the gesture and the alone time._

"_No, you're not."_

"_Jill and Grant get to be with their daddy."_

"_Yes, they do." Short vague answers, way to go Emily. She scolded herself for not handling things better. _

"_And my daddy is a superhero like you?" Amused yet frightened by the whole conversation, Emily let out a quiet laugh. "Why are you laughing mommy?"_

"_I'm laughing because you're just too cute for words." She pulled Charlie into her lap and wrapped her arms around her tiny fame. "You're father and I aren't superheroes, but your dad is out there trying to save the world one bad guy at a time."_

"_Just like you." Charlie said as she put her index finger up to Emily's nose gently pressing down on the tip. It was something that was only cute when a kid did it, even cuter when the kid was your own._

"_Sure, just like me. Charlie you know I love you and…"_

"_I love you too mama."_

"_And your dad…"_

"_Mommy, you told me he loves me too." She saw Jill and Sarah heading toward the rocks and decided she was done with the conversation. Her mother was going to get all sentimental on her again. She could feel it and she was just a kid. "Can we go look for crabs over there with Jill and Sarah now?" Emily was relieved the conversation ended there. It wouldn't be the last of it, but it was over for the moment._

"_Let's go see if we can find any." With that, Emily wiped the child's mouth then took her hand and allowed her to lead the way over to the rocks in hopes of finding a tiny crab to gawk at._

That was a good memory. It always amused Emily how easily Charlie could move from one topic to the next and how she could always sense when Emily was a little uncomfortable. She made life easy. Letting the memory linger in her thoughts, she swathed the book in old newspaper to ensure its safe travel and gently laid it with the other important keepsakes from their lives and sealed it up before moving on to the next box. She was getting more done than she thought she would in the amount of time she had. The case loads had been pretty light. There was a serial arsonist just across state borders, but that was an overnight thing and they were still close by. Other than that, it was a bunch of paperwork and consults again. She wasn't complaining. She had things to get done, so the more time she had at home not only meant more time with Charlie, but the faster they could move in and get settled at the house. She had to admit, she was a little excited about that.

In the midst of packing up the last of her room, Charlie made an appearance. "Hey Charlie Bear. You're done with your homework already?"

She nodded before speaking. "I made you a picture." Lifting her hands in the air, Charlie flashed Emily the beautiful child drawing.

"Who are these people?"

"This one is you and that's me." She pointed to the tall brunette and the mini version in that order.

"And who are they?" Emily questioned looking at the other two blonde figures in the picture. She had a pretty good idea who they were.

"That one is Henry. He's my best friend. And that one is JJ. She's your best friend."

"She is. It's very good Charlie. Why don't we leave it right here for now," standing up, she walked over to the dresser to show Charlie where to leave it, "and when we go to the new house we can hang it on the fridge?"

"Ok mom." After placing the picture down, Charlie started to head out of the room, but stopped at the door. "Mommy?"

"Yeah baby?"

"You tell me about your team." Emily must've missed the question because she really didn't know where she was going with that or where the conversation could possibly be going.

"Yes Charlie, I do."

"And I met JJ."

"I know you did. What are you asking Charlie?"

"Does that mean I can meet all of them now?" Her voice sounded so hopeful. It almost broke Emily's heart. Was keeping her lives separate hurting her daughter?

"All of who?"

"Your friends." She was stunned silent for a few long seconds, but when she thought about it, she should have seen it coming. Emily talked about the team, who were also her friends and family, all the time and Charlie was a very perceptive five year old. She told her just how important each and every one of them were to her. Naturally, especially after officially meeting JJ, she'd want to meet the rest of the people her mother swears are so great.

"Soon." That was the only answer she could come up with and she really hoped it was true. "Hopefully you'll meet them all very soon."

"Will you tell me a story about them again tonight?" Charlie was always fond of the FBI tales. Once Emily couldn't think of a story and she resorted to what she knew. It seemed to work and Charlie loved it. Since then she would tell her all about their adventures hunting serial killers only the bad guys were warlocks or witches, maybe creepy old people, and they were knights and the unnamed female equivalent of such who saved the day.

"If that's what you want, that's what you'll get. Now go wash up. It's dinner time." The rest of the night was simple, beautifully simple. Dinner was spent talking about Charlie's day. Apparently first grade was very riveting. They made paper-mâché creatures during their art time.

"It was messy and gross and felt so cool." Charlie told her. Emily just listened as she went on and on actually enjoying the rambling. After dinner came bath time and then story time.

"What's the story about today mommy?" She had to think about it. Which case could she turn into a fairy tale for her daughter?

"There was a small town far, far away from here." She began. "A dragon was breathing fire all over and scaring the townspeople." The case in Royal, Indiana was fresh on her mind. She didn't know why it was, but it could easily be turned into the mythical story full of creatures and a somewhat happy ending. Of course, that part would be slight fiction. In reality, people did die, but Charlie didn't need to know about that. Her world was still sunshine and roses and didn't need to be tainted by the darkness just yet.

"Why did the dragon do that? Was he sad?" The girl could grow up to be a profiler like her parents. She had a brilliant mind. Emily wasn't going to suggest that idea though; a doctor, a lawyer, a struggling artist, anything that didn't have to do with dead bodies and crazy serial killers would be better.

"Shh, just listen." She whispered into Charlie's ear. "But yes, the dragon was sad. He believed the people of the town did something wrong and mistreated him. He thought that they kept him from the person he loved." She continued on giving as much of the case away without giving away too much. She didn't want to freak her out. It was much better to have her believe her mother's job wasn't full of all the ugly parts of the world. The fairy tale world was much happier. "With the help of the oracle Penelope, the group of merry misfits found the dragon."

"Did they save the girl mommy? Did they?"

"The dragon had the girl in his clutches and was threatening to breathe fire at them if they didn't back away. But the knights and chevalières…" Charlie just looked at her questioningly with a 'what the hell is that' face.

"What's a chef-a-leer-as?" Emily laughed. It was a hard word to pronounce, a foreign, uncommon word in general, but hearing her pronounce it was just a trip.

"It's the word for female knights. Most people don't use that word though. That's what they were called a long time ago, but there weren't very many of them."

"Why not?"

"That's a story for another night. Ok?" It was late and probably not a good time for a history lesson on the oppression of women and their expectant duties.

"Ok, tell me the rest of the story."

"They all surrounded the dragon with their swords out. They didn't want to hurt him though. But they surrounded him and knew he was scared."

"What next?" She interrupted, the excitement from the simple story having her on the edge.

"Sir Aaron…"

"That's Hotch right?"

"Yes it is." She answered surprised she remembered the name so well. "Sir Aaron tried to calm the dragon. He reminded the beast that he loved the woman that was with him and didn't want her to get hurt in the battle." She left out that it was a borderline incestuous relationship between the "dragon" and the fair maiden. That would be way too much to explain and definitely not suitable conversation for her young age. "Sir Aaron and the rest of the group used their words to get him to understand that what he was doing was wrong. Sir Aaron told him to release the girl and surrender so that they could take him to a place where he could be with others like him."

"Did he listen?"

"Eventually he did."

"Did they all live happily ever after?"

"As close to it as they could get." Slipping out from her daughter's grasp, Emily pulled the covers over the tiny body and kissed the girl's cheek. "Night, love you."

"Love you too." Emily made her way to the door taking one last peek at Charlie before flicking the light switch. "Mommy?"

"Yes Charlie?"

"I like it when you tell me stories."

"I like it too. Now sleep."

The next morning was like any other. Emily got up and made them breakfast. They both brushed their teeth and got dressed. Then Emily got Charlie off to school and headed into work. Per the usual, she and Hotch were the first ones there. She pulled her car in just a few slots from his and saw that he was headed for the elevators. She didn't rush over there knowing that if they were to ride up together it might be a little awkward, maybe not to him, but to her. She'd make it awkward, at least in her own mind it would be; maybe to him too. Then again, she felt that same way the first time they saw each other at work too and that feeling went away. It was only back because she brought it all up when she talked with JJ. She hoped they'd be easier to suppress this time around. Her hopes were unfounded tough, and she knew that.

Having a different idea, after seeing Emily nearly drop her bag as she got out of her car and not wanting her to have to wait for the elevator to come back down or to force her to use the stairs, he held the doors for her. Seeing his, rather gentlemanly, gesture, she let out a sigh and began moving a little faster. She didn't want to waste his time. Really, she thought, she should hurry up. Maybe she just needed to see if being in an enclosed space for even a short amount of time actually stirred up flashes of those old memories again. It hadn't been that way for a while, but she knew repressed feelings had a funny way of resurfacing. She tried, and failed, to put those thoughts behind her as she slipped in next to him. It was time to test the waters.

"Thanks." She quietly said as the elevator took off. His response was a courtly nod.

"Morning Prentiss."

"Morning Sir." Calling him sir felt a little wrong then. For the first time in a long time she allowed herself to think of him as the father of her daughter. They had created this beautiful little life together and she was there calling him sir. Things were unquestionably different, and, in the moment, it seemed crazy to be calling the other half of the biological equation sir if it wasn't being used in a sexy kind of kinky way. And then thinking that, her thoughts drifted back to that fateful night way back when, when the word was actually used in their sexual repartee, and the whole elevator felt all hot and claustrophobic. She knew opening those tightly sealed compartments was a bad idea. Now she was seeing things where she shouldn't and thinking about things at inopportune times. She needed to deal with it and talk to him about Charlie or relearn how to bottle it all up. Otherwise, things just wouldn't work.

She was lucky. While she may have been uncomfortable and thinking of everything but what she should've been, Hotch didn't seem to notice. Obviously it was only an internal struggle and she wasn't externalizing anything or projecting anything leaving Hotch oblivious. So there was that, but she hadn't been that happy to get off an elevator in her entire life. If things weren't weird for him in the elevator, they became weird with the exit. As soon as the doors opened, Emily gave an awkward parting and could literally feel Hotch's contorted face staring at her, wondering what that was all about. She avoided him the best she could for the rest of the day.

It was another paperwork day. If they didn't have a case their work day was like any nine to five job. Emily was sitting at her desk when JJ came up to her. Quietly, she asked, "Charlie's still coming today right?"

Emily looked around the bullpen. With the exception of the two women, no one was really in the immediate vicinity. She expected nothing less from JJ. "She's excited."

As she leaned to sit against Emily's desk she said, "Henry too. Do you want me to pick her up or do you want to drop her off?"

"I'll drop her off. A majority of the boxes are already at the new house so I'm going to take a few more over and start unpacking."

"I haven't seen the house yet. I didn't even know there were any for sale on that street. Which one is it?"

"It's the last one on the dead end."

"The big grey stone?"

"That's the one. It's bigger than I planned, but it was in one of the best neighborhoods and I have room for an office, the guest room and our bedrooms. Plus it's more secluded and private. I fell in love with it."

"I've seen the house. I can see why."

"You should see the inside, especially now that the furniture's in."

"I'll have to stop by."

"Don't worry; I'm sure we'll be seeing even more of each other."

"I don't doubt it. That reminds me. Henry wanted to know if Charlie could sleep over. I told him I'd talk to you about it, but if it makes you uncomfortable because they're boy and girl…"

"It's fine JJ. I had sleepovers with boys all the time." JJ laughed as soon as she registered exactly what had been said. Emily just got an odd look thinking, "Did I really just say that?"

"You did? Did you? And your parents were ok with that?"

"When I was a child JJ; when I was a child."

"I know, but what fun would it be if I let that one go."

"Let what go?" They hadn't even heard him walk up to them. How long was he standing there? What had he heard? Emily and JJ shared a look of understanding.

"Emily having sleepovers with boys." JJ said jokingly, but earned a glare from Prentiss. If she didn't know any better, JJ would have sworn she saw something in her boss's face.

"Oh." He sounded… defeated? JJ didn't know exactly what it was. She was still new to the actual profiling, but there was definitely something there. It was hard to tell behind his patented frown.

"Do you need something Hotch?" Emily was desperate for a change in topic. And desperate for him t leave. She was still reeling from the elevator encounter.

"Yes, actually." He turned away from her to look directly at JJ. "What time should I bring Jack?"

"Will and I can pick him up before we go."

"No." His voice was firm and the woman just looked at him questioningly.

"No?"

"It's out of your way and I insist that I drop him off and pick him up."

"Ok, if you insist. But it's not a problem." He ignored her last statement.

"I'll see you this afternoon. I have to head out of the office, call me if anything comes up." Hotch wasn't being himself. If Emily was more focused on him that morning, she would've seen it then too. But there, as they watched him walk away, they could both see it. If they were really putting things together they would have seen the slight change in his normal behavior, a variance in his nuances, since their return from that long case over a month ago; the case where Emily got hurt. Emily was sure it had nothing to do with her, but something was going on. Watching JJ, she could see she sensed it too.

"That was weird." JJ agreed, nodding her head before grabbing some papers and getting back to work.

That afternoon, it was party time. Emily dropped off Charlie a little early so she could get a head start on the endless unpacking she'd have to get done. With a little coffee, maybe a little espresso, and an all-nighter, she might have most of the house ready by the time Charlie got back the next day. At the LaMontagne household two streets over, the two children played waiting anxiously for the third to arrive. Like a genie granted their immediate wish, the ding dong of the door bell sounded through the house, and they ran toward the door where Will and JJ already waited.

"Hello Hotch, Jack." JJ greeted with a warm smile. Jack politely waved.

"JJ, Will. How are you?" After shaking hands with Will, Hotch saw Henry walking up behind them. "Happy birthday Henry." JJ hadn't planned on letting Hotch meet Charlie. Emily said that she didn't want anyone else to know yet, excluding Will. They discussed that and agreed that was ok. But the situation was out of her control. She knew once Henry made an appearance, Charlie was sure to show herself too.

"Thank you." Jack and Henry did their thing while Charlie hung back and watched it all unfold. She wasn't a particularly shy girl, but she didn't enjoy being flooded with new faces either. So for a while, she just watched as Jack and Henry talked about toys and whatnot and the adults made small talk until Henry decided she should meet his other friend.

"Jack you have to meet Charlie!" He seemed so excited about the thought of his two good friends becoming friends themselves. His yelling caught everyone's attention. JJ didn't know what would happen or, more importantly, how Emily would react. But she was going to find out later. JJ put a hand on Henry's shoulder stopping him so she could make the introductions. She didn't want him to out Emily as her mother. That would only complicate things further.

"Hotch, Jack, this is Charlie. She's a good friend of Henry's." JJ bent down to Charlie's height and whispered in her ear. "Can you say hi to them?"

"Hi Jack. Hi Hotch. I'm Charlie." She said sticking her hand out for a shake just like she did when meeting JJ.

"You can call me Aaron, Charlie." She let out an inaudible gasp and thought of Sir Aaron; knight extraordinaire. She was a little disappointed in herself for not putting it together as soon as the name Hotch was mentioned. "I work with JJ." He was on her mom's team too. That got her interested. Hotch, though, was interested immediately upon seeing the girl. Why was she so familiar? He felt like he knew her from somewhere. But where? Where would he have seen her? He was positive she was around Henry's age, maybe a little younger. That meant she didn't go to school with Jack. So where had he seen her before? He watched her interact with Jack and Henry and became instantly taken with her. Charlie and Jack seemed to be hitting it off and all he, all any of the adults, could do was watch. The three of them were adorable together. The BAU kids all hanging out and getting friendly was a sight to be seen.

"Alright Jack. I have to go. Be good and have fun. I'll see you when I come to pick you up."

"Bye dad." They finished parting with a hug.

"JJ, Will it was nice seeing you again. Henry happy birthday. And Charlie, it was nice meeting you."

"We'll see you later Hotch." Aaron opened the door, about to head out when a little hand gently pulled on his jacket.

"Excuse me Sir." There it was again; that pang of familiarity. It was the way she said sir. It was the way she carried herself. It was a lot of things about her. Everything was just so familiar.

"What is it sweetheart?" No one ever thought they'd hear such a term of endearment coming out of the agent's mouth. It even surprised him. But something about Charlie just brought it out.

"I think you dropped this when you were hugging Jack sir." She was so polite, so well mannered, and he had absolutely no idea why he felt so connected to her. But as she passed him his tie clip, the one that Jack got him for father's day and meant the world to him, he couldn't help but feel like she was, in some way, important to him. He just had no idea how right he actually was. JJ didn't miss the look of recognition and confusion in his face either. She made a mental note to tell Emily about the meeting and maybe convince her to just give in and tell the team.

"Thank you." He said, accepting the tie clip from her.

"You're welcome." This time he left for real. After putting the clip on, he gave a wave and exited the house.

Will leaned into JJ's side and whispered, "Every time I see her she's more and more like Emily."

"I know." She whispered back. "It's still hard to believe though."

It was shortly after that that the group threw on their jackets and headed out the door. From the moment he arrived, to the end of the night, Jack, Henry, and Charlie were inseparable. It was kind of amazing to JJ and Will how easily Jack took to Charlie. It was like he immediately took her under his wing. He helped her learn to play the games she didn't know how to play, shared tokens when she needed more, tried to lift her up when she couldn't reach the buttons, and he even let her win when they played together. Maybe it was because Henry's a boy, but he never did that with him. He was kind to her son and taught him games and shared, but he never let him win. It was different with Charlie. Both Jack and Henry took a few meetings to warm up to each other, but Jack and Charlie got along like they've grown up with each other, known each other for years. "Huh," she thought as she observed the identical looks on their faces, "they've already got the same pout down."

JJ couldn't help herself. She had to take pictures of the trio. They were just too adorable not to. Emily would love them too. "I'm almost sad to tell them it's time to go."

"I know, but it's late and Aaron should be at the house within the hour, so we really should get going." It was a little bit of a fight, but they managed to get all three kids into the redemption line so they could trade their tickets for prizes and then home for a half hour before Hotch came for Jack. Jack didn't want to leave. He was having fun with his old and new friend, but he had soccer in the morning and couldn't spend the night. As the father and son duo left, Hotch had to take one last drawn out look at the little girl. He had to figure out how he knew her or why he felt like he did because it was driving him crazy.

Later that night, after the birthday rush wore off and the kids were in their jammies, JJ stood just outside the door to Henry's room and listened to them talking. They were both snuggled under the blue and red superman comforter, Charlie's head resting comfortably on Henry's shoulder as his hands held up a book for her to see.

"My mommy reads me a story every night. Even when she's away she tells me stories."

"My mom does too."

"Do you want to hear a story my mommy told me?"

"You have a book with you?"

"No silly, it's in my head." JJ stifled a laugh, only silently giggling as she continued to listen. She imagined the little girl pointing a finger at her head telling him everything was right in there. "There once lived six knights, only two of them were girls so they weren't called knights. They were called chef-a-leer-as." That word was still giving her trouble. It was to be expected. Most kids her age, even if they were taught several languages, couldn't pronounce words like that easily.

"Why were they called that?"

"It's French I think. Mommy says they called woman knights that. I don't know why."

"Ok."

"The six knights along with their magical oracle Penelope were a team that saved the world one creature at a time." JJ knew immediately that the story was about her team, their team. She couldn't imagine Emily telling her five year old ghost stories before bed, so she let Charlie continue without hesitation. Will joined her towards the end of the story taking the spot next to her against the wall.

"What are we doing?" She put a finger to her mouth giving the sign for "shh."

"Listen, Charlie's telling him a bedtime story."

"After a long day of battling the evil witch and keeping her from taking any more children, Lady Jennifer and Lady Emily returned home to their own little kids and lived happily ever after. The end." There was a quiet stillness to the room before Charlie lifted her head to look at a droopy eyed Henry and spoke again. "Henry did you like the story?"

"Mmhmm, it was good." His words carried a tiredness to them and JJ took it as a sign to go in and say goodnight before he conked out.

"You coming in with me?" She asked Will.

"After you."

Will was the first to speak. "Hey Henry I hear this little girl told you your story tonight."

"Uh huh."

"And it was a good story I bet. Did you brush your teeth?" He nodded. "Ok, night then buddy. I love you."

"Love you too dad."

"Night Charlie."

"Night Mr. Will." As he left the room, he laughed. He couldn't remember how many times he reminded her to call him just Will, but after several times of the more formal name, it just stuck.

Henry, half asleep already simply said, "Goodnight mom. I love you." And then he fell asleep. He didn't even hear his mother say it back.

"Come with me Charlie." JJ requested as she opened her arms to take Charlie into them. Charlie carefully climbed out of bed and allowed JJ to carry her. "I got the guest room all set up for you, girly purple sheets and all."

"Purple?" She knew it was Charlie's favorite.

"Purple." JJ carried her to the room opposite of Henry's and placed her into the turned down bed. As she was about to say goodnight, she noticed that Charlie looked a little glum. "What's with the frown kid?"

"Mommy says I have daddy's frown." Suspicions were running rampant in JJ's mind all week, but hearing that just reaffirmed some of her already brewing theories. As much as she promised herself she wouldn't, she watched Emily's interactions with every male member of the FBI she came in contact with at Quantico. She knew for a fact that this mysterious father was lurking somewhere in that building. And while Emily wasn't clear on how often she saw him, or many details for that matter, she knew that they had worked with him there. So she couldn't help herself. Puzzles were her job, putting pieces together to find the killer. Solving the 'who's the daddy' puzzle came with levity and a potential happy ending. Usually she'd leave the meddling to Garcia, but she made Em a promise not to tell. And Emily said it herself; she was always planning on telling him. All she was going to do was figure out exactly who that him was. She wasn't going to tell him or anything like that. She just wanted to know.

But now, thinking about things Emily said, one of her, what she thought to be, more preposterous theories seemed to be more and more likely. The trademark frown, the commonalities with Jack, he was married and had a kid. It was really starting to sound like Hotch. But it couldn't be him. Could it? She honestly didn't think it could be anyone in the unit. Wouldn't that make things awkward and unbearable; a hostile work environment? But it was Emily, and she was the queen of compartmentalization. So anything was possible. JJ was going to have to do some more sleuthing to get to the bottom of things. The thought still stayed in her mind though. What if Charlie was part Hotchner and part Prentiss? What if he was the man Emily was avoiding for the past few years? What if it was him? What would that mean for the team?

"She does?" Charlie nodded. "Is she why you're frowning? You miss her?"

"I do miss mommy, but I can't sleep."

"Why not? Are you scared?"

"I need Jazz." Her voice was so quiet that JJ barely heard her.

"Music?"

"No, Jazz is my monkey. I can't sleep without him, but don't tell Henry. I don't want him to think I'm a baby."

"No one will think you're a baby. But want me to tell you a secret?" Charlie shook her head, the frown still deeply engrained, but lessening the more they talked. "Henry still has his favorite animal too."

"He does?"

"Yeah…" Pulling the royal purple blanket higher on Charlie's body, JJ continued. "Honey, your mom's just down the street. I was going to call her for you so you could talk and say goodnight. Do you want me to see if she'll come by and bring Jazz instead?"

"Please?"

"Ok, I'll call her. You try to relax." JJ slipped out of the room diming the lights slightly and placed the call. Emily arrived at the house about forty five minutes later. Finding Jazz took some doing. She had to unpack three of Charlie's clothes and animals bags to find it, but she did find it, and that was the important thing. Once she arrived, JJ told her where Charlie was sleeping and she went straight there. The door was slightly ajar and Emily let herself in. Charlie was nearly asleep, but Emily could see she wasn't quite there yet. Still being quiet, she tiptoed her way to the bed, whispered her nightly salutation, kissed her cheek, and slipped the monkey into her daughter's grasp.

"Night mommy." She muffled as she rolled over on her side and hugged Jazz almost instantly falling asleep. It amazed her that Charlie knew it was her, but didn't open her eyes once.

"Night baby." She whispered back and met JJ in the living room. "Did you guys have a good time?"

"We all had a great time. Henry loved the present by the way, so thank you."

"Anything for the little man."

"So, I know you want to get done with the house, but how about a break? Stay for some tea?"

"I'd love to." Conversing the whole time, they made their way into the kitchen and put the kettle on the stove, and, once it was ready, they sat at the dining room table.

"She and Jack got along very well." A smile lingered on Emily's face. Charlie unknowingly met her brother. She needed to fish for some information and see how that went.

"How'd that go?" Straightforward…

"They seemed to have an instant bond. They were all like the three musketeers in the making. Jack and Charlie seemed like they knew each other all their lives. They even have the same pout." Emily jerked her head in the least suspicious way possible. JJ noticed, but wasn't sure how to interpret that other than thinking her what ifs were still gaining merit. "It was adorable. I'll give you copies of the pictures we took."

"I'd appreciate that, thank you."

Broaching the topic carefully, JJ stated, "Hotch stopped by…" Emily's eyes went wide for a fraction of a second before she could compose herself. Her daughter also met her father. That was an introduction she should have made. She also should've made it a long time ago, but it was too late to take anything back either way. What was done was done.

"Aaron was here? Did he see her?" The fact that she used his first name wasn't overlooked. It wasn't just that she used that name, but also the way she said it. JJ thought she might have been seeing things where they weren't just because she wanted to, so she ignored that little tidbit and moved on.

"They met, yes." JJ was watching her reactions carefully. She thought it would give her some insight. "I know you didn't want her to meet the team, but he doesn't know she's your daughter. He just thinks she's a friend of Henry's. You're daughter is too cute for words. Just so you know."

"You're son's not so bad either. But why? What did she do?" She was genuinely curious, but she was also hard up for details.

"Well first of all, she way too behaved. I'm jealous and you need to tell her to go crazy every now and then."

"She does, believe me, she does."

"You should have seen Hotch's face when she called him sir. It was like he heard you and thought he was going crazy or something." Emily's nerves were being toyed with and she was anxious. Hotch and Jack both met Charlie. Charlie, who could be very important to them if they knew about her and accepted her, met them. Then more than ever, she had more of an obligation to tell Hotch about her. But how was she going to do it?

"I bet." Simple answers were all she could come up with or she'd say something she didn't mean to or confess things she couldn't yet.

"She told Henry a bedtime story. Apparently the team slays dragons and witches."

"She likes those stories the best. Did she tell one that heavily featured Lady Jennifer?"

"Yes, she did. I thought it was cute."

"Well, she asks about our work and I give her a fairy tale. It works for us and it makes things a little less morbid and ugly." Emily wanted nothing more than to bring the conversation back to Hotch, but she didn't want to raise anymore red flags. She was positive JJ was already formulating all different conclusions in her mind and she already gave enough information to come up with a few suspects. Even though she knew she shouldn't, she couldn't help herself and did it anyway. "Just out of curiosity, what happened when they met? What I mean is, was she shy or did she walk right up to him? Did she take to him or was she abrasive?" She said too much. She knew that. She even back peddled which made it worse.

"She shook his hand just like she did mine when we first met. She was a little shy at first, but her face lit up when she heard he worked with us." She got some of what she wanted and thought it best to move on.

"She asked about meeting the team."

"And what did you say?"

"I said hopefully she could meet everyone soon." Their talk lasted a little over an hour longer. It was after ten when Emily got home. Although she was tired, thoughts of Hotch and Charlie and Jack and all three, four if she was included, together plagued her mind. She was up all night thinking about it. She decided that, based on what Charlie had to say when they talked in the morning, she'd figure out a way to talk to Hotch. It was the only thing she could do. But it wasn't helping her sleep any better that night. Like it was her only lifeline, Emily spent most of the night rapidly unpacking and organizing.

After getting just a few hours of restless sleep, Emily picked up Charlie and brought her back home. They were pretty much moved in. All the necessities were set up, the bedrooms and bathrooms were done, kitchen too. The office was still overwrought with boxes and the living room was a bit of a mess, but other than that, she was ahead of schedule. She worked to keep it that way as Charlie talked with her.

"So I take it you had fun."

"Lots of fun mom. Jack won me a teddy bear. They didn't have purple so he picked out the regular brown one, but it has a purple ribbon. Do you know Jack mom? He's very cool."

"Jack is a great kid."

"He's Sir Aaron's son mom." The jovial nature of her voice and the look on her face was contagious. She obviously liked her brother. And who wouldn't? Jack was a charmer. All the Hotchner men were.

"When you met Sir Aaron, you didn't call him that did you?" Explaining that would've been a little… embarrassing. Or not… She could think of more embarrassing things to explain; like how their amazing one night stand turned into a lifelong commitment that she hadn't let him be very committed to.

"He told me to call him Aaron. I told him to call me Charlie."

"You're cute. You know that?"

"You tell me all the time."

Very nonchalantly she added, "What did you think of Aaron and Jack?"

"Jack and Henry are the best. Jack's my newest bestest friend. He was very nice to me. Can we play with him again?" She should've seen that one coming. She should've known they'd get along so well and would become instant friends. Honestly though, she didn't anticipate her meeting Hotch without her there with them. Then she thought it could be better that way. There were no expectations with that meeting. Hotch didn't look at her like the little girl he lost so much time with and Charlie didn't see the daddy she envisioned as a true hero. They were just two regular people, absolutely no pressure.

"And what about Aaron?"

"He has holes in his face and he looks sad a lot."

"Holes in his face?"

"Right here." She explained by putting a finger on each cheek.

"Oh, dimples." Charlie had them too. They weren't as prominent as Hotch's, but when she smiled, they were there.

After listening to Charlie jabber on about every detail her day with Jack and Henry and hearing her ask to see Jack again and then seeing a picture she drew of the team and what she thought she remembered the rest of them looking like, Emily knew what she had to do. She made the decision. Come Monday morning, when both she and Hotch would, undoubtedly, be early and alone, she was going to tell him. And after him, she'd figure out a way to break it to the rest of the team. And that was how the remainder of the weekend was spent; deliberating how to do just that. What would be the best way to break the news, keep her job, and hopefully keep everyone happy? All the what ifs and questions would have answers soon enough.

Emily went into work on Monday knowing that things were going to be different. JJ already knew and she couldn't force her friend to lie for her anymore. She trusted JJ but she didn't want to make her keep secrets for her. That wasn't her job. Telling did have its perks though. She wanted everyone to know. She couldn't wait to put a giant picture of the smiling little face on her desk for all to see. The one sitting in her desk drawer would look perfect resting next to the computer screen. It had its downside too. With all the lying and secrecy, there was no telling how everyone was going to react, especially after they found out that, not only did she have a daughter they didn't know about, but it was her love child with their valiant leader.

She was psyching herself out as she inched closer to his office. She arrived earlier than usual, worked on paperwork waiting for him to arrive only to hide as soon as he did. Seeing him walk right by her, she told herself it was time. Of course, she gave him a few minutes to get settled first. Those few minutes turned into a half hour of her nervously picking at her nails. She'd have to cover that up later. Taking one last deep breath and rehearsing her words in her head, Emily raised her hand to the door.

Knock, Knock…

"Come in." She faintly heard Hotch call through the office door. She slipped into his office sure to close the door tight behind her and stood there like a terrified kid about to scour into the corner. Looking up from the file he was currently reading and seeing it was her, he said, "Prentiss… What can I do for you?"

"Hotch." She inhaled a deep breath forcing the words out of her mouth. "I think we need to talk…"

**I'm going to try and include more about the other characters; involve them more. There will definitely be a Hotch increase now and the team will be worked in. If there's anything anyone would like to see happen, I am open for suggestions. Just let me know.**

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It didn't come out exactly as I hoped, but it worked out.**

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**


	6. Tides are Changing and Danger's Lurking

Chapter 6: Tides are Changing and Danger's Lurking

Aaron was staring intently at the legal documents in front of him. It had been bad for a while, but he thought they were working on things. Then Haley went and threw him for a loop. She set up a sneak attack and had those papers delivered to the office late Friday night after he dropped Jack off at home and she knew he would be there alone. When he went home that night, the house was empty and some of their things were gone. So there he sat, reading it over for, what must've been, the hundredth time since he got them when he heard a light rapping on the door. He didn't see anyone when he exited the elevator, so he didn't know who it could be.

Not yet looking up from his papers he called, "Come in." As he finished reading the last few lines, he could hear the door slightly open and timid footsteps creep in. Slowly looking up he saw that it was a nervous looking Emily. He should've known it was her. She was the only other person to ever willingly be in the office that early. Something was going on though. He could see it in her face. "Prentiss… What can I do for you?"

"Hotch." The tone of her voice gave away that it was something of importance, something serious. He heard her take the deepest breathe he ever heard from her before saying words no man, no matter what situation they're in, wants to hear. "I think we need to talk…"

"What's going on Emily?" Concern etched into his masculine features.

"Is that a case you're working on?" She wanted to change the subject already. Maybe she hadn't told him because she wasn't ready to have him be involved in her life. That was selfish; she knew that. But being involved with Charlie meant being involved with her to some degree and she really wasn't sure she could handle that. It was one of those situations where if she feels anything about him, anything other than how she should feel about her unit chief, she'd be forced to feel everything she might think about him. She carried a crush for him with her for over ten years, she had his child; it was safe to say the feelings ran deep. And, as much as it pained her to admit it to even herself, she may very well love him to some degree. She just wasn't sure whether she could allow that feeling, because she'd remember how secure she felt in his arms that night, how right she felt, and then she'd want that again. But this time she would know he's married and know that it can't happen. She did, after all, spend the previous five years avoiding social situations where they'd be thrown into awkward positions leaving them alone together. That was the only way they were able to coexist. When in doubt, use avoidance. Letting him know, letting him in, would be like opening the floodgate, and once it's opened, everything just comes pouring out. Would telling him about Charlie do that? Could she deal with it if it did? Could she deal with the disappointment if he wanted nothing to do with her or, more significantly, if he wanted nothing to do with their daughter? Because in the end, it was all about Charlie. Every decision had to be about Charlie.

Taking a deep breath before exhaling, clearly leaving something out, with finality he said, "No, it's not a case." The air in the office was tense. And because of that, she was worried about him, and he was worried about her. Neither of them seemed to be their normal selves.

"Oh, ok." Maybe she picked the wrong time. She did. She told herself that she did. Telling him on a Monday morning would screw up the rest of the day, no, the week. They'd be forced to see each other every day after without the two day grace period of the weekend to act as a buffer, and his reaction could change their whole team's dynamic. Innocent people could die if they were called on a case and their heads weren't in it. She really worked herself up thinking about that. She couldn't hold that on her conscience. It was like she was a teenager again feeling every single insecurity that existed.

"You said we needed to talk. Take a seat and tell be what about." Obliging, she took the seat directly in front of his desk. His frown seemed deeper and his eyes darker. That only made the feeling in the pit of her stomach stronger.

"Is something wrong Hotch? You haven't been yourself lately." If it was even possible, he was smiling even less. He didn't smile much to begin with, so that spoke volumes.

"Everything's fine Prentiss. Is there a problem?" He was just as eager to change the topic as she was. He didn't know what she was dealing with and she didn't know what he was dealing with, but they both desperately wanted to keep the topic averted from their issues. So if the focus was shifted in their direction, they tried to redirect it. It defeated the purpose of Emily's reason for being there, but that didn't matter.

"No problem sir." Sir… that's what, or who, the little girl reminded him of. She reminded him of Emily. They both said it the same way. They had the same impeccable manners. There was something about Jack's new friend that was so Emily like. He didn't know what to make of that, or even why he was still thinking about Charlie, but she remained on his mind and the fact that she was so much like Emily made him even more curious.

Emily picked up on the way he was looking at her and became self conscious. Was there something in her teeth? She skipped breakfast that morning so it was unlikely. After a silent stare down between the two, Hotch finally spoke up. "What is it you needed to talk about?"

"I moved." That was the first thing that sprung in her mind that actually worked in her situation, so she just spit it out.

"Ok." That was an issue for human resources, and while he was happy to be informed about his team's living situations, especially with one he shared so much history with, that fact didn't merit a closed door early morning meeting.

"I bought a house. So I uh…" She wasn't going to tell him. He seemed to be in a worse mood than usual and appeared like he wouldn't be receptive to such big news. Nope, she was definitely backing down. "I was going to ask if I could leave early tonight. If we have a case, then obviously that's out of the question, but otherwise… They're delivering furniture and I want it all in before the holiday." He had a feeling there was more going on in her head, but she was hard to read; harder than the rest of the group. To him, it was easy to see that that was an excuse, a cover for her real reasons for being in his office before the workday even officially began, but he didn't have enough space in his mind to question her about it. She'd talk if she wanted to talk. For the time being, he'd let her chicken out.

"I don't foresee a problem with that."

"Ok then, thank you sir." She abruptly stood from her seat. She wasn't going to tell him so there was no need to stay there. "And uh… Tell Jack and Haley I said hello." She didn't realize that she was delivering such a low blow. He didn't know when he'd see them next or if Haley would even let him anywhere near Jack until they worked things out.

"I will." When he saw them again, he would. He watched as a frazzled looking Emily Prentiss left his office in a hurry. Sometimes he just didn't understand women. What he did understand was that he was missing something. There was something she wasn't saying. Whatever it was wasn't about moving and he couldn't figure it out. Just a few seconds earlier he told himself he'd let it go, and he would, but it was bothering him more than it should have.

Emily felt a little dazed as she headed into the still empty bullpen. She couldn't do it. But she prepared for it all weekend. She was a wreck, nervous with anticipation and anxiety possibly ruining any fun her and Charlie could've had. She was pretty sure her behavior had a domino effect on the girl. They were both going to have ulcers and Charlie was about five minutes away from starting a mother daughter nail picking session. And all of that was for nothing. Absolutely nothing came of it, except her new found knowledge of her cowardess.

Back at her desk, mentally beating herself up, she was startled by a hand on her shoulder. "Sorry." JJ apologized waving her hands up in surrender as she watched her friend practically jump from her seat. "I called your name a few times, but you didn't answer." JJ saw, for the first time, a mix of unreadable emotions clouding her friend's face along with a growing tiredness. "Emily, is everything alright?"

"It has just been a long day." That concerned JJ.

"Emily, it's barely 8:00."

"I know."

"Did something happen?" She didn't want to give too much away, but talking with JJ seemed to help her.

Spotting Reid, Morgan, and Rossi getting coffee from the break room and seeing Garcia headed to her lair, Emily knew it was safe to continue. "I saw him. I was going to tell him."

"But?" Her early morning eagerness was irritating to an already agitated Emily.

"I need coffee, strong, strong coffee."

"But you needed coffee?"

"Jayje…"

"Let's go. We'll get you a large, extra strong cup of coffee and you can tell me all about it." Standing, she allowed JJ to drag her toward the then vacating break room.

"There's nothing to tell."

"There is or you wouldn't have been so spacey."

They were huddled at the table sipping their coffee as Emily explained without really explaining. "I ran into him this morning." She vaguely recounted, neglecting to add the fact that she planned for them to have some alone time. Her friend was curious and eager to hear the rest and Emily gave her most of it. She told her that he seemed to be in a bad mood so she decided against telling him.

"But you are going to tell him soon, right?"

"I would've told him just now if I didn't think it was such a bad time."

"Alright then. The sooner the better though. It has already been years."

"Right, anyways, Thursday's Thanksgiving."

"Yes I know."

"What are you doing for it?"

"Nothing special, just dinner. I didn't even buy half of what I need yet."

"I know it's last minute, but I was wondering if the three of you would like to join the two of us. It's nothing fancy, just dinner, maybe a few drinks. There's no pressure to say yes."

"Sounds good. I'll talk to Will, but I'm sure he'll be ok with it." They talked a bit more before walking back into the bullpen and joining Morgan and Reid. They were all joking and laughing when they saw Rossi exit Hotch's office followed by Hotch himself heading for the elevator. Him, leaving early; it just didn't happen.

"What's going on Rossi? Where's he going?" Morgan asked as Dave approached them. After releasing a deep sigh, he went on to explain as much as he could.

"Haley left him." He clarified. "And she took Jack." Emily felt for Hotch. He was already missing out on one child's life because of her, but he lost the other one as well. Yet, she was still glad with the decision she made that morning. Telling him then would've been like rubbing salt into the wounds, very fresh wounds.

"So she sent the papers Friday?"

"He came here to finish up some work after bringing Jack home after Henry's party. A currier came to his office. As soon as he got them he went to talk to her and they were gone."

"Gone?"

"They're staying at Haley's sister's place."

"What about school?"

"It's temporary. He only had two days this week because of the holiday, so he won't be missing much. And I think she lives right outside of town so the drive to school wouldn't be much longer."

"Happy Thanksgiving Hotch." Emily said sarcastically. Maybe she made the wrong choice. Telling him could make him feel better… or so much worse. She was so confused. She literally thanked god for the few days off. It would give her some much needed extra time to figure things out. She needed to figure out which side of the fence she sat on; tell him now or tell him later.

Before any of them knew it, it was Thursday. No one had heard from Hotch since he left that day, but they respected his privacy enough to know to leave him alone and not ask any questions. He had things to work out and needed to be away to do that. That was ok, but Emily really wanted to see him, to know that he was ok, and to be there for him if he wasn't. Despite all the lies and whatnot, they were still friends beyond colleagues. Putting that aside to enjoy the holiday, she made one last wish that Hotch was out there enjoying the day as best he could with at least one of his children. She'd have to live with herself if he had to spend it alone and in misery when she could've done something about it.

JJ and her men arrived early that morning. The two families were getting closer and Will was happy to share the holidays with them. JJ insisted on coming over early and helping out. Emily told her it was unnecessary and could've easily used her stubbornness to win the battle, but it didn't seem like a fight she wanted to win. The company was always welcomed. If the rest of the team knew about Charlie, she would've invited them all as well. "Maybe next year." She told herself.

"All the kids are outside playing." Emily stated, returning from the back door.

"Will included?" She joked knowing he'd enjoy the backyard playground and chasing the kids just as much as the kids themselves would.

"Yes, him too." They went about their chores, finishing up the menial tasks like peeling potatoes and preparing the vegetables.

"Did you ever get around to talking to him yet?" JJ decided to break the comfortable silence with a possibly uncomfortable question.

She took a moment to think about it before issuing a suitable and honest answer. "It hasn't been the right time."

"Will it ever be the right time? I mean, it hasn't been the right time for the past five years, almost six if you count the months you were pregnant."

"He's having an exceptionally hard week. Now really is not the time."

"Tell me about him."

"What?" That one caught her a little off guard.

"I haven't asked for a name, and I won't. Although if you wanted to confide in me, I'd gladly listen. But I'm going to respect your privacy. I'm just asking for some details. Girl talk… So tell me about him." She was pushing a little, and she knew that, but she had questions and wanted to know more. She narrowed down the suspect pool. There were several guys who could fit the profile as she knew it. She didn't know who worked with her mother all those years ago, but she did know of a few people who were married with a kid at the time of the infamous party. One of them was her boss. She wanted to know more about him so she could narrow it down even further.

"He's handsome." A few details wouldn't hurt. Emily had covered her trails for years. There were no tracks to follow, no clues to unfold.

"Yeah?"

"A smile that could melt your heart."

"What else?" This was the idle girl talk that JJ loved almost as much as Garcia. The resident computer geek would've been pestering them with questions and enjoying the gab session a little too much. It made her wish that she was there with them. Emily felt the same way. She wanted to tease them with the details without giving too much away. She wanted Garcia to do that thing she does where her voice gets a little higher and she practically begs for more.

"You know, you're starting to sound like our prying little tech goddess."

"Is that what we're calling her these days?"

"I kind of wish she was here trying to beat me into submission with her own brand of harassment."

"I know me too… But enough of that. What else?" They could've talked about Garcia's absence or she could've listened to Emily's, rather generous, sharing. JJ chose the latter.

"Fine. He's a little older than us. A work ethic like I've never seen. He's devoted and thoughtful and everything you'd want for the father of your child."

"Then why isn't he here?"

"You know why he isn't here."

"I do know…" It came out almost sullenly. It was like she was expecting something different and maybe she was. She knew Emily had her reasons for not telling, but she still wished she would. At the same time, tough, she knew she got more out of the brunette than most. So that was something. "Ok, tell me more."

"I want to tell him JJ." There was no holding back for Emily. Everyone was still outside as they were finishing up. They were all alone and she had no excuse not to open up. "I've been trying. I've been coming up with ways. But it never seems right. There's always something in the way. There's always something that stops me."

"Something like what?"

"Something like his bad week or my own insecurities."

"What kind of insecurities?" Now they were getting somewhere.

"All the what ifs…" Emily turned away from JJ acting like she was working on something over the sink. "What if it's too late? What if he doesn't believe me? What if he wants nothing to do with her?"

"Or you?"

Scoffing, Emily simply said, "No…" Maybe was the real answer. She didn't know. She could've wanted more but she wouldn't let herself. "Not me. It's about her. She'd be devastated if he knew she was there, got to know her, and then wanted nothing to do with her."

"Do you think he'd do that?"

"No, but that doesn't mean it can't happen." Her voice was quiet, but JJ could hear that it was so much more than what she said.

"Tell me more about him?"

"What more is there to tell?"

"What was he like when you were younger? You said he worked for your mom."

"I was a nineteen year old with a crush and a penchant for breaking the rules. He was a hard working, caring, and extremely tolerant man."

"Tolerant?"

"Anyone who works for my mother has to be. You met the woman. Wouldn't you agree?" She gave an eye roll and a subtle nod before she talked.

"Did you love him then?"

"I didn't know him well enough to know one way or the other."

"Did you love him when you ran into him the second time?"

"I had unresolved feelings for him. And things felt… I felt…" Emily Prentiss was at a loss for words.

"Felt what?"

"Everything felt right. He made me feel right and invulnerable and I have no idea why." JJ had a pretty good idea why.

"What about now?"

"What about now?" Emily repeated her question.

"Do you love him now?"

"Ok, I think we've talked this to death. Let's move on."

"Come on. Do you love him now?" The biggest grin appeared on her face with Emily's lack of answer because that was an answer in and of itself. "You do, don't you?"

"I'm not saying I do, but what if I did? What would that change?" What if she did? He wasn't married anymore. But she was still his subordinate. There'd always be reasons not to feel.

"It might not change anything, but it could explain a lot."

"Explain what?"

"I've gotten to know you over the years. You are by far the strongest, most well put together, independent person I've ever met."

"Not that I don't appreciate the compliments, but what's your point?"

"This has got you scared. You've found every reason not to tell him… because you're afraid."

"Ok JJ. I think you've started too early on the wine. You're officially cut off."

"I haven't had any wine yet Emily."

"Then you're not getting any later."

"Did I hit a nerve?" Ignoring the comment, Emily just finished up the last vegetable in her hand and took off her apron.

"I'm going outside with the kids for a little while. Why don't you stay in here and make sure nothing burns?" It wasn't a question as much as a plea. So to make sure JJ couldn't say no, she quickly slipped out of the kitchen out through the door in the living room, and into the backyard.

"Mommy!" Charlie yelled as she barreled her way to Emily. "Come play."

Kneeling down, Emily asked, "What are we playing?"

"We're playing tag. Mr. Will's it. You have to run mommy. He's coming." Emily didn't get a chance to respond because Charlie grabbed her hand and pulled her into the game at full speed. The kids and Emily ran around as Will chased them. He tagged Henry and then they all ran from him. The cycle continued for a while until Emily broke it up.

"Ok guys. I know you like to play outside, but Will looks like he could use a break."

"Please can we stay outside?" The children pouted.

"I'll give you fifteen more minutes. You know the rules. No leaving the yard. Don't open the gate. And when I call you to come in, you come."

"I know mommy I promise."

"Me too." Henry added.

"Ok. Be good and stay where we can see you." The two energy filled kids ran straight for the jungle gym as Will and Emily started to go back to the house.

"Thank you."

"Go watch the game Will. Relax, have a beer. I'm going to head back into the kitchen. I don't think it's safe to leave JJ in there alone for too long."

"Good idea." While tasked with keeping an eye on the children, Will took a seat in front of the TV and got comfortable. Emily walked into the kitchen to see JJ stirring something on the stove. She quietly snuck in and took a seat at the island.

"Sorry I left you to fend for yourself in here."

"I think I managed just fine."

"I have no doubts."

"Are we going to finish our conversation?"

"What conversation?"

"Come on Emily."

"Ask me questions once I have a few drinks in me. Maybe I'll be more inclined to answer."

"I'll remember that."

"Moving on. Let's check the turkey and see when we can eat."

"Sounds good." Everything was done just a few hours later. The two families merged as one and celebrated the time honored tradition of Thanksgiving turkey and other foods fit for a feast. They all talked and drank; the adults did at least. The kids had sparkling cider in wine glasses to feel like grownups. And as the night was winding down and bed time was approaching, Emily took a good look at the scene in front of her. It seemed almost perfect. She and her daughter were surrounded by people who were the best friends any one could ever ask for and couldn't be more family if they were actually blood. But no matter how perfect it was, there was still something missing, two someones, actually. Having Jack and Aaron there, with full knowledge of who exactly Charlie was, would have made the day whole and then it'd be truly perfect. The rest of the team would've been a nice addition to the scenery too.

Around nine, once dessert and coffee were long finished and the movie they watched together had ended, both children were asleep in their mother's laps. They had a long day filled with activities and food, so they were exhausted. It was good to let them sleep. Will was half asleep as he turned on some manly show that JJ and Emily had no interest in. They didn't really care though. JJ had plans of her own. As Will was seconds away from passing out from food overload, Emily was in the kitchen wrapping up leftovers and cleaning dishes. JJ went in there about fifteen minutes later thinking that was enough time for Emily to get some stuff done. In her hands were an unopened bottle of wine and two glasses.

"Can I open this?" Her voice pulled Emily from her own thoughts and made her stop what she was doing. Seeing what 'this' was, Emily knew what she was trying to accomplish, but gave her consent.

"Trying to ply me with liqueur?"

"If that's what works to get you to open up."

"It just might. Either that or make me loose. It depends on what kind of mood I'm in."

"Well, what kind of mood are you in?"

"Let's find out." She responded as she opened a drawer and pulled out the corkscrew to pass to JJ. "Shall we?" Taking the two glasses in her hand as JJ started to uncork the bottle, the women moved to the dining room table. Finally getting it open, JJ poured each of them a glass.

They sat in a comfortable silence, one that only could be felt among friends. Emily swirled her glass and took in its aroma like a wine connoisseur as she and JJ were in a stare down of sorts. It was like they were trying to see who would break first. But Emily knew what she wanted and decided to indulge her, just a little. She'd concede and be the first to speak. It helped that she was finishing up a rather large helping of the expensive grape concoction. A little extra of the smooth burgundy liquid always made the words come out a little easier.

"I do you know?" It was ambiguous enough to get the conversation started without going all in just yet.

"You do what?"

"You asked me earlier if I love him, and I do. It's not that kind of love, not the way you want it to be, but I care about him. I want him to be happy and safe, but that's as far as it goes." She couldn't tell whether or not she was lying. Did she mean it? Yes, she meant what she said, but whether or not it was total honesty was a different question completely. Did it go beyond the feelings a mother has for her only child's father? Maybe it did. But was she willing to experience that? No, she wasn't.

"Wait, what do you mean 'not the way you want it to be'?"

"You're trying to make this into some epic love story and it's not."

"That's not what I'm doing."

"In a way, it is." She poured them both another generous serving of wine and took a few sips before continuing. "Part of you is just curious, and I'll feed that curiosity. You deserve to know more than I've been telling you, but I have to be ready and I'm not."

"Ok, I understand that. But what about the other part of me?"

"The other part of you sees this as some romantic fairytale. Like he and I are long lost lovers torn apart by circumstance only to find and lose each other once again. Only in that encounter they create this beautiful life that she's keeping secret from him. You think they'll come together for a happy ending after finding each other one more time. But that's not the way real life works."

"But it could."

"It could, but it won't. He has another family to look out for and other people to love. And one day I'm going to tell him about Charlie, and that will change things, but it won't change anything between us. It can't."

"And why can't it?"

"It just can't."

"But why?"

"Because of the past, because of the present, because of the lies… Because of many things, it can't."

"At least I got you to answer the question. You talked. That's a good thing. I should bring alcohol to all our little pow-wows."

"Maybe you should."

"Maybe I will."

"We'll have to have the next girl's night at a bar."

"Garcia would love that." Their conversation didn't follow any sort of direction after that. Maybe it was all the wine or the simple flow of the night, but their conversation would go from lighthearted and fun one minute to serious and deep the next. It went on like that until Emily let some of her thoughts about the Hotchner clan slip out of her mouth.

"How do you think Hotch is doing?"

"I don't know. It has to be hard. They've separated before…" Emily cut her off. That was news to her.

"They did? Where was I when this happened?" She was sure she would've noticed that.

"It was before you came to the BAU."

"How long before I came?" The thought crossed her mind. Maybe he wasn't as much of an adultering ass as she thought he was. If he was separated, maybe they agreed to see other people. That would make her feel better about herself and her choices. At least, it would make her feel better about her lack of questions and complete trust in a man who was practically a stranger.

"About a year I guess. Why?"

"No reason. I just thought I would've known about that." Was it weird that a part of her was relieved? Charlie wasn't conceived in a brief affair with a married man. That alleviated some of the tension that knotted her body. For lack of better words, it made her feel like less of a whore.

"Ok." She didn't know whether she believed her. Her eyes told a different story and she looked too deep in thought for it to be nothing. It was obviously something.

"I cut you off before. I'm sorry. What were you going to say?"

"I was saying that Hotch has to be taking it pretty hard. They've separated before, but this time Haley left with Jack. They're not going to work through it like they did before."

"I wish there was something I could do to help him."

"You know Hotch. He wouldn't accept our help even if we could offer it." But she had to do something. Didn't she? Wasn't there some sort of moral obligation? She had to return the favor to a man who had given her so much. Never mind the fact that she didn't want to see him suffer and that she genuinely cared about that man.

"I wonder how he's dealing with everything today."

The truth was that he wasn't dealing very well. He'd never show it, and when he went back to work on Monday, no one would be the wiser, but he was suffering. He knew things with Haley weren't going well. They tried and tried, but unlike before, they couldn't work anything out. The littlest of things would set them off. This separation was more permanent, and it was necessary. He knew that. Haley knew that. And Jack knew it was over too. After taking off from work that Monday, he went to Jessica's to see Jack and Haley, mainly Jack, but he needed to talk with her too.

"Hey buddy." He greeted his son once he got the go ahead from his newly estranged wife

"Hi daddy." Jack said with a smile. He hopped off his chair and ran to his father in order to give and receive the biggest hug.

"I've missed you."

"I missed you too." Jack walked back away from his father to sit on the bed he currently called his. "Where have you been dad?"

"Well that's part of why I'm here bud." He joined his son on the bed, turning him so they were facing each other. "I really wanted to see you, but I also need to talk to you."

"About what?"

"Mommy and I have been very unhappy with each other lately."

"I know. You fight a lot." They tried to keep that away from him and shield him from it. Obviously they haven't done a very good job of that.

"We did fight a lot, but I want your mom to be happy and she wants me to be happy. So we're not going to live together anymore."

"What about me?"

"Well, for right now, I'm not going to see you as much as I normally do."

"But why?" He looked so sad and that killed Hotch. All he wanted was to be around his son as much as he could.

"You're going to be staying here with your mom and Aunt Jessica while we figure things out. But I promise I'm going to call and come see you as much as I possibly can." He was upset. His face showed it, and obviously Jack sensed it.

Patting his father's back while pulling him into a hug, Jack said, "Don't be sad daddy. Everything's going to be ok."

Hotch was proud of his son. It wasn't just about that conversation or how, even in an emotionally trying time for himself, all he wanted to do was make his father feel better; it was about so many things. He and, mostly, Haley raised a good boy, and he was going to turn out to be an even greater man. That conversation though, was only one thought in a sea of many that were swirling in his mind. That wasn't how he pictured his life. His son should be there with him. Haley and he were having problems for some time, so part of him saw the divorce coming, but it didn't lessen the blow. All he knew was that he and his son should've been having a meal as a family. He should've been able to balance work and home. But he didn't and that was why he was there alone on a holiday made for groups of kin and friends.

Needless to say, his day wasn't going so well. He woke up alone and spent the day alone. There were offers, mainly from Rossi, but he needed to face the day alone to get used to the vast emptiness that was once filled with a wife and child. Things were changing for him and he had to face that. Fortunately for him, the few stiff drinks he sucked down dulled the ache. He was thankful for the vacation time. It was much needed. But at the end of his first Thanksgiving without them, he found himself in a place much like the one he started it in; lying on his half of the cold bed, staring at the ceiling.

Luckily for the rest of the team, their day was much brighter and much more fun. However, the day wasn't over quite yet.

At the Prentiss home, Emily and JJ were acting like amateur alcoholics sucking back their wine and reminiscing about this and that. In reality, they were talking about everything Hotch was thinking. The only difference between the two was the levity of their conversation. They focused on the lighter side of everything from the individual members of the team and the situation with Hotch and Haley, to their kids and Will, to Emily's nonexistent love life. There was a lot of nothing and everything being discussed as they sat on the floor in Emily's bedroom going through boxes and flipping through some old photo albums. Eventually, they realized just how late it was getting.

"I'm going to go check on the kids." JJ said as she stood from the floor.

"Good idea. I'll go make sure Will didn't flee our estrogen fest."

JJ couldn't contain the laughter after that one. "Ok, I'll be down in a minute." JJ walked into Charlie's room where they laid both children down after the movie. Charlie was snuggled with her monkey and Henry was sleeping soundly on the trundle bed beside her clutching one of her other stuffed animals as a proxy for his giraffe that was left at home. He wasn't waking up anytime soon.

When Emily got downstairs she saw Will sprawled out on the couch comfortably clasping onto the remote. He was such a stereotypical man sometimes. Putting her hand to her mouth, she let out a quiet giggle. "What's so funny?" She heard a voice approaching along with the sounds of footsteps getting closer.

"I think we left him alone too long. Look at him."

"Henry looks just as relaxed."

"Unless it's weird, why don't you just stay? There's plenty of room, we've been drinking, it's late and dark, and this way is just easier."

"Thank you."

"Of course. What are friends for?" JJ was about to say something when they were interrupted by the shrill ring of Emily's cell. It was a text.

_What are you thankful for love?_ It sent chills down her spine, and it didn't help that it was immediately followed by another. _See you soon. _There was nothing particularly disturbing about the messages, but they were disconcerting nonetheless.

JJ noticed the change in her friend's behavior. She looked a bit overwrought and confused and JJ didn't understand why. "Who is that?"

"I don't know." She just wrote it off. It was probably a wrong number. The logic in her told her that that wasn't the case. The use of that word was too specific to her past. But that wasn't possible. He was gone, locked away in some Russian prison acting as his cellmate's bitch. So it just had to be a coincidence. Right? That was the only explanation she'd accept. "I think it was a wrong number. Someone had a little too much to drink and decided to send drunken texts. I'm just the lucky recipient I guess."

"I guess."

"I'm going to bed." Her words were abrupt, but she needed some time to herself. She was suddenly so much more sober. "I'll leave a set of pajamas on your bed. I might have a shirt or something for Will if he wants it. Stay down here as long as you like. Help yourself to anything. And I'll see you in the morning. Night Jayje."

"Night Em." She was a little confused. What just happened? They were happy and laughing one minute, then her friend got a few texts and the whole tone of the night changed. She'd think about it more later on. In that moment, she was trying to get Will alert enough to make it up the stairs.

After putting the clothes she promised into the spare room they'd be occupying, she checked in on Charlie. The sleeping kids looked so peaceful and perfect, but she still felt something was off. Emily couldn't quite put her finger on it. But even after a wonderful day full of friends and family, she couldn't quite shake the feeling that there was something wrong. There was something in the air and she didn't like it. A storm was brewing and it promised to bring nothing but rain and destruction. She could just feel it like a sense of dread looming over her head.

With a storm came a changing tide and in walked the lurking danger. Unsuspecting souls are susceptible to fall prey. Unfortunately for Emily, this predator had a specific target in his sights.

**Yes, I'm evil. You can tell me I'm a terrible person for having her chicken out. But what kind of story would it be if things went smoothly. No it has to be bigger than an awkward hush. Hush conversation in the middle of the BAU. But it will happen. I promise it will.**

**There's a little Hotch in here. Next chapter should include more team action. I'm thinking about sending them out on a case. We shall see I guess. Hope you enjoyed the chapter. **

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**


	7. Time to get Affairs in Order

**So I used the show as an outline for this chapter. Some of the dialogue is the same, or close to it. I don't have Reid's eidetic memory. I wanted to be as true to the show as possible, but it's also going to be very different.**

Chapter 7: Time to get Affairs in Order

A few days passed after Thanksgiving and nothing had changed. Emily was still experiencing that same feeling and, if anything, it only grew stronger. She tried to cover it up, and she was doing a pretty good job of it too, but Charlie could still sense something was wrong, or different; her mother was tense. Emily noticed that she was a little clingy and preferred to be by Emily's side every chance she got. It was like she was trying to make everything better by just being there. It worked for a while. Emily always said a large dose of Charlie is enough to cure the incurable. And it would've been enough if that foreboding feeling didn't prove true in the end.

Everything was ok at first. They all went back to work that Monday. JJ tried to question her about the texts, but she played it off like it was nothing. "It was just a wrong number Jayje. It's fine." She told her, and it was the truth as far as she knew then. JJ was skeptical, but as the week went on and Emily continued to act normal, those suspicions went away.

Everyone else, to her benefit, was busy paying attention to Hotch. He was acting like everything was just fine when everyone knew it wasn't. But that was just like him. Much like Emily, he kept his feelings hidden and rivaled her for the best at compartmentalizing award. They both dealt with things internally. And that was fine if it worked, but, sometimes, people just wanted to know what was happening and see if they could help. Neither of them ever really let that happen.

Exactly a week from the texts, things started to change. Just as she was starting to really push that specific part of her past back down and then it was all thrown right back in her face in a single instant. The previous night had been a good one too. After Charlie was done with her homework, Emily took her out to dinner and the movies as a mid week treat to make up for the way she was acting. By the time they got home the mini Prentiss was wiped out and went straight to bed. Then Emily had Sarah come over for a few hours so she could go out with Mike. Her good mood was altered as soon as she went into work.

Emily was walking up to the briefing room when she heard the jovial voice next to her. "How's it going stranger?"

"I'm a little tired." She responded with a smile on her face. Garcia was going to love what came out of her mouth next. "A friend of mine was in town and we went salsa dancing last night." After his help with Charlie's party, they decided to actually get together and spend some quality face time doing something fun and exciting every time he was in town.

"Oh my like I need another reason to find you amazing." The second A was long and drawn out for emphasis. Garcia followed her up the few steps and passed her a piece of paper with a bunch of numbers written on it. "This call for you from a Sean McCallister came to my phone accidentally. Sounded very hot and very important." Garcia didn't notice Emily's face drop upon hearing that name. Emily was trying to remind herself that it was just a coincidence. The texts that felt eerily like words that could have easily been spoken to her from Doyle and the sudden need for contact with Sean. They weren't tied together. It was strictly coincidence. She had to believe that.

"Did he leave a message?"

"No, but it's from Paris." She was impressed and slightly curious. "A Scottish guy calling from Paris. Know this Emily…" She dramatically waved her hands around as she spoke to further her point. "Even if he is ugly, Scottish guys are hot. It's the accent or something."

"I'll keep that in mind." Emily's voice was low and quiet as she thought about what he could want. She assumed it was nothing good since they hadn't had much contact over the years. She could only hope that her gut feeling was wrong.

"So what's the skinny? Is he an ex? International booty call?" She was genuinely keyed up and eager for the gossip as she clung to every word. The need for details didn't die down as they entered the briefing room and met with the faces of the team.

"No" was Emily's only response. JJ watched as Garcia followed Emily closely as they came into the room and she instantly recognized the look on Garcia's face. That was her 'I need more please' face. Gossip was afoot and she'd be asking them about that later. She would've asked then, but they were in a room with a bunch of equally gossipy men and Hotch was passing out folders about to start the brief.

"I know we've all seen the news about the mass murder in Millings, Montana. Six people shot and killed." Hotch was hoping the case would wrap up quickly. He was supposed to go apartment hunting and then spend the rest of the weekend with Jack. Haley agreed to a temporary arrangement until they drew up the final custody agreement, and he didn't want to miss out on his only time with his son.

"Robbery?" Emily asked.

"No apparent motive." Rossi threw that out in response.

"What about the security footage?" Reid asked.

"No cameras, no witnesses. Ballistics show we have two shooters."

"Well something there must've triggered them. It doesn't look like they had much of a plan."

"Whatever it was, they're likely to do it again. Spree killers often repeat themselves." The meeting went on a little longer before they all dispersed. Hotch gave the "Wheels up in twenty" warning and they all went to finish up with the last minute details. For Reid, Rossi, and Morgan, that meant grabbing their go bags and maybe a quick meal. For those with children, it meant something different.

JJ went to her desk to get her keys. The bag was in her car and she needed to retrieve it. And while she did that, she placed a call to Will. She would've liked to talk to Henry as well, but he was at school.

Will knew why she was calling. There were only two reasons he'd receive a call from her so early into the day. So it was an emergency or a case. By the tone of her voice when she said hello, he knew right away what it was. He was just waiting for her to say it. "We got called away on a case."

"Do you know when you'll be back?" JJ could hear the contempt in his voice. He hated JJ's job and always being called away. His preference for her to take the offers she had to work a normal 9 to 5 life was blatant. But she couldn't do it. She belonged there with her family. And he knew that, so he did his best to be as understanding as possible and just accept it. Some days were better than others.

"You know how this works. It could be tomorrow it could be a week. Hopefully we'll be home soon."

"What do you want me to tell Henry this time?"

"When you pick him up from school tell him I love him, give him a big hug from me, and tell him I'll call him to before bed time." That was how the conversations usually went when she got called away. Sometimes there was some arguing, and other times there was just acceptance. But that one was as cordial as it got, and after wrapping it up with their goodbyes, JJ grabbed her bag from the trunk and headed with the group to the jet.

While his routine usually went much like JJ's, Hotch had to change it up just a little. Obviously, he couldn't call Jack directly, so he called Haley to leave a message for him. "Hi Haley."

"Aaron." She sighed, knowing what was coming. "Got a case?" She'd dealt with it one too many times.

"We do."

"So are you calling to cancel on Jack?"

"No. That's not why I'm calling." There was a little resentment in his tone because of the insinuation. He would never willingly cancel precious time with his son and he didn't like the way she assumed he would.

"I wanted to let you know that I was heading out of town just in case you needed to get a hold of me."

"What about your weekend with Jack?"

"I'm going to do my best to be here, but I can't leave in the middle of the case. I'm going to talk to him and explain when I call tonight."

"Don't call too late." He could hear the hostility bleeding from her voice. She really didn't like his job. And he could see why there'd be some issues. He did miss a few important events and he did have to be away a lot, but he did his best and he couldn't understand why she didn't get that. What did she want from him? Nobody's perfect, and he did whatever he could to make her happy.

"I'll call before bedtime."

"Goodbye Aaron."

"Bye Haley." When he hung up he was a little frustrated. But he was still focused and wouldn't let his personal life get in the way of work. Plus, he reminded himself, the more focused he was, the faster they could find their unsubs and he could get back for his weekend with Jack. Right then, all he had to concentrate on was his profile.

Emily too made a call. Normally her first number dialed would've been to Charlie or Sarah, depending on the time of day, but Mike was still in town and she would feel safer with a big strong man around her daughter to keep her safe while she waited to talk to Sean. Charlie loved spending time with Mr. Mike. So she called him first and asked him if he'd simply spend some time with Charlie while she was away. He didn't have to be asked twice, and he was even more willing knowing that he'd be sailing for the following six months and wouldn't be able to have much, if any, contact with them during that time.

"Thanks Mike."

"No, thank you Emily. You know I love the little bugger."

"I'm going to call Sarah right now and let her know you'll be staying there."

"Ok, bye Em. Be safe and we'll talk later."

"Bye." The next call was to Sarah. She explained the situation and told her where the team was going. She made sure to leave a message with Sarah to tell Charlie she'd call to talk to her and read her their nightly story. It was the usual. She left out the part that there might be a problem brewing, but she didn't feel the need to mention a possibility that was highly improbable. Nothing needed to be said until she actually talked to Sean. Then, and only then, she would know if it was a conversation about Doyle and she was right to panic or a simple friendly gathering and she was overreacting.

Once the phone calls were placed and the bags were fetched, the group was on the jet working up a preliminary profile while heading to the treasure state. They were rerouted to a different city upon arrival. Their perps, who they were informed were a male and female duo, went off on another spree and blew up a gas station. They were escalating. That was made even more obvious by the amount of overkill they saw on the bodies.

Eventually they realized that Sydney was the more dominant psychopath and her new husband, Ray, was the following sociopath. Their killings were set off by surrogates for their abusive fathers. Once they found the unsubs' identity, it was only a matter of time until they found them. The trail led them to a murdered Mr. Donovan, Ray's father. Morgan and Prentiss were sent to the trailer to exam the crime scene. That's when she received her third text of the day. It was simple. _We need to talk._ It wasn't so much the texts or even the sender that bothered her, it was the possibility that her feelings were more than just feelings that was getting to her. Fortunately, the only texts she received that day were from Sean.

Emily was staring at the message when Derek noticed her odd behavior. "You alright?"

"Yeah, it's nothing." She quickly brushed it off, stuffed the phone in her pocket, and refocused the conversation to the case at hand.

The case started in Montana and ended in Washington. That was where Sydney's father was, and they were both done playing with proxies. They showed up a little late to save the father, but there was still a little girl in the service station with them. Hostage situations, especially with kids, always sucked, and rarely ended without some collateral damage.

The agents barricaded the station armed and ready for the fire fight they knew would come. And it did. They tried negotiation and all the other tricks they were taught at the academy, but talking them down just didn't seem to get the job done. The little girl came out and they knew something was coming. Each agent took their shot as the car being used as the murderers attempted escape came crashing through the glass in a blaze of glory. Both of them were killed, but the girl lived to see another day. Their job was done after that, and they got to go home. Hotch got to have one of the two days he was supposed to spend with Jack, and Emily reluctantly went to bar to meet with Sean.

"Emily Prentiss." Sean said as he stood from the booth when he saw her walking toward him.

They were happy to see each other, and Emily didn't hesitate to accept his hug. "Sean, how are you?"

"Good." They both slid into opposite sides of the booth.

Emily began. "So, I was going to call you back. I just got busy on a case."

"That's ok. I had to be in DC anyway." Emily could tell by the intense stare he was giving her that she wasn't going to like what came next. The slight smile she had faded as she waited for his words. "Ian Doyle vanished from prison." And there it was. Her heart stopped in that brief moment. The texts that she so badly wanted to be nothing but stupid words sent to the wrong recipient were then proof of her past coming back into her present; proof that she wasn't overreacting. "Interpol can't find him." The news just kept getting better.

"Wha-what are you saying?" That feeling she'd been suppressing was resurfacing tenfold with each passing second.

"He's off the grid Emily."

"Do you think he's headed here?" She really didn't need the answer. She knew, but the confirmation was needed to make it a reality. But the look filled with sad, knowing eyes was response enough. "Am I in danger?" Her voice was practically shaking.

He gave a head shake and definitively said, "We all are." Wide eyed and scared, she couldn't stick around for much more after such news. The only thing that made sense to her after that was the unrelenting need to get home and protect Charlie at whatever cost. The first things she did when she got home that night was sneak into the twin bed to cuddle with Charlie and hold her as tight as she possibly could without causing bodily harm.

"Mommy what's wrong?"

"Nothing baby. Go back to bed. I love you."

"I love you too." Emily didn't want to let go of the moment. She had a feeling that the peaceful moments like that weren't going to happen quite as often.

Once the very early morning came around and she realized the whole Doyle on the run thing wasn't just a bad dream, she went looking for her phone. They call each other the first of every month to check in and talk. They've visited with each other over the years. But this wasn't going to be a social call; it wasn't even going to be a call. There were too many security risks with that. So scrolling through her contacts, she clicked on Clyde's number and typed the emergency code they created years before should the need ever arise. Time had come to actually try it out.

_Vol de moineau. _It wasn't a particularly inventive saying, but who uses "sparrow is flying" in everyday conversation? The only reason they used it at all was because they did an op together called Sparrow. She had to go undercover in that mission as the infamous Sparrow, a hacker for hire with a stupid nickname. The real Sparrow was in custody and they wanted the clients. That happens when people try to buy government secrets and military weapons to build stronger rogue governments. Somehow, the just name stuck, and thus the saying. It signaled trouble and not to make contact other than the designated response. And if Clyde got the message and understood, he'd respond back with "eagle is landing." That would let her know he's coming and they'd use some of their old spy techniques to make contact.

After that, it was basically a waiting game. She was tired, and mindless waiting wasn't going to help that. The only reason she got any sleep at all was because she knew Charlie was safe in her arms. But even that only gave her the luxury of a few fragmented hours. Every so often she'd wake up to make sure everything was still fine. But she wasn't going back to sleep anytime soon, and seeing that it was already 4 am, she figured she'd look into her past, re-familiarize herself with the enemy at hand while she waited for the response.

Reaching into her hidden safe, she pulled out everything of relevance. She spent ours going over her agent profile from that job. Most of it was redacted, but she knew what it said. The next thing she looked through was the profile they created on Doyle. What she didn't know as she looked at everything was that her superiors sent more than what she gave them; things that involved her and things that would affect her later. Things that only added to his already blazing fire were added and she had no way of knowing.

The memories of her time undercover were all flooding back. They were all replaying on a continuous loop. Eventually, she had to break out of it and go through the rest of her things; otherwise, she'd be stuck there forever. She still had several passports under aliases for a variety of other countries. There were even some papers she probably could've gotten rid of a long time ago. But mixed in with all of that was her will. It was slightly daunting to so nonchalantly come across that in a time when her life might genuinely be in peril. She hoped it wasn't a sign of her impending death, but rather a warning to update early and be cautious. She usually waited for the beginning of every new year, but maybe, given the circumstances, the time to update and make changes was now. She'd get on that as soon as possible.

Lost in the documents she held in front of her, Emily barely heard the pitter patter of the tired footsteps approaching. It was only then did she look up and see that she was sitting there for well over three hours. "Morning mommy." Upon hearing the child's voice, Emily quickly tried to put the papers in an orderly pile and shove them back into the safe. She finished the pile, but never got it in before her daughter came to her.

"Hey Charlie. Did you sleep well?"

"When I woke up you weren't there anymore." She hated that. When Emily slept in her room it usually meant that the little girl had a nightmare, and Emily had to crawl in bed with her to make them go away, or something bad happened and Emily just needed to be around her. Otherwise, they would share Emily's much larger bed. So Charlie's mature mind was curious and nervous. She didn't have a bad dream, so something bad had to have happened.

"I know, and I'm sorry. I had to do some things."

"What are you doing?"

"Just going through some papers." She finished putting them away and locked up the safe. "Let's go make breakfast." Emily playfully stood and swiped Charlie off the ground. She wanted to make the day feel normal and be as ordinary as possible when she knew it was anything but.

The day passed with no big issues. They did their mother daughter thing and played in the December snow. Charlie was cute bundled up in her snow gear as they attempted to build an igloo. But, as much fun as they were having, Emily was distracted. She had yet to receive a reply from Clyde, and she was constantly looking over her shoulders. But as they went to bed that night, after Emily set all the alarms even adding breakable objects to the tops of windows so that she could hear if they were opened, her phone dinged.

And there, just as they discussed, was his message. _L'aigle débarque. _Once she knew he was coming, she felt the smallest twinge of relief. They didn't discuss the second part. _Vers la fin de la semaine._ He'd be there by the end of the week. Although she wished he could magically get there right that second, she was grateful he could get there when he could. She just hoped they had that long. Just knowing he was coming and that she wasn't alone, she slept the tiniest bit better. Nonetheless, she still had Charlie sleep in her bed.

Monday morning, the feel around the office was lighter, even if it was a false sense of happy for some of them. Hotch actually came in with the slightest hint of a smile. His first day alone with Jack after he learned of the divorce went very well. They found an apartment that they both liked. Jack was excited because he got his own room and he could decorate however he wanted. His son was more grown-up than he ever realized; that or he inherited the Hotchner ineptitude where emotions were concerned.

Whatever it was, he was just happy to see his son adjusting so well. They spent the first half of the day looking at apartments. He agreed that Haley should have the house to raise Jack in. Once he found an apartment, he'd finish packing his stuff and they could go back home. Because they did find an apartment they both felt comfortable with, the rest of the day was spent looking at furniture for their rooms and picking out paint. There were some fun activities thrown in there as well, but it was generally a mundane kind of day. Aaron was just content to have any time with Jack and Jack with Aaron. It didn't matter what they were doing. But it pained him to have to bring Jack back to Jessica's rather than keep him there with him at the end of the night. Though they were both pretty good about it, Jack was a little resistant to Hotch's departure. Even so, coming back to work wasn't so hard after that. He was slowly finding a routine with Jack and knew it would work out in the end.

The rest of the team seemed to be in good spirits as well, especially considering what they did for a living. Everyone was ok, except for Emily, but, per the norm, she did what she could to internalize her struggle. But when they got called away on a case midweek, she didn't know if she could do it. How could she go knowing that a mad man could be lurking around and possibly going after Charlie? The only answer that made any sense to her was that she couldn't. There was no way she could.

The universe was tipping the scales slightly in her favor. By some twist of fate, about fifteen minutes before they were scheduled to leave, a package was delivered to her. Not knowing if it was some twisted gift from her nemesis or some innocent, normal piece of mail, Emily took it out of the office and into the privacy of her car before opening it. Even then, she was terrified to see what was inside. There was no return address, no anything that would make her feel even the slightest bit better. She kept telling herself that the office scanned packages delivered to Quantico, so it couldn't be too bad. But the scans wouldn't pick up certain chemical powders or other potentially deadly, unidentified substances. Trying to convince herself that she was just being paranoid, that nothing was going to happen, and that it was safe to open, she just sat there and stared.

Even if it wasn't safe, she had to do it. But, as a precautionary measure, should the need to run just happen to arise, she stepped out of her car and into the open parking lot. Pulling out her knife, she cut through the tape and slowly peeled pack the cardboard. Relief took over as she saw a card instead of a pipe bomb or something equally lethal.

_L'aigle est ici. Cadran numéro duex. _A part of her felt like her prayers were answered. Clyde had arrived and he was making contact. Under the note was a disposable phone with his throw away's number on speed dial. Opening it up, she didn't hesitate to hit two and send. All she had to do was wait for the answer.

"Emily."

"Clyde."

"How are you doing?"

"Where are you?"

"A safe house. Figured we'd need it for whatever this crisis is. What is it by the way?"

"Have you talked to Sean lately?"

"He has called. You know I don't work for him anymore. I don't answer when he calls like some trained dog."

"He's out."

"Who?"

"Doyle."

"That's impossible."

"He escaped and I know he's coming here. I got some texts just days before I heard the news from Sean. I know it's him."

"Emily…"

"Sean thinks we're all in danger, but I'm the only one that had any personal contact with him other than Tsia and she's dead. And now I have to go away on a case and I have to leave Charlie here." She was beginning to ramble, and Emily Prentiss didn't ramble.

"And as far as he's concerned, so are you. Jeremy and I took care of that. Lauren Reynolds died in a car accident. Tell yourself that. I want to hear you say it."

"Laruen Reynolds is dead." She didn't realize Reid was walking up behind her as she repeated those last few words again.

"Good. She's dead. That's the past, but what about the kid? Is she at school?"

"Yes."

"Ok. I'll keep an eye on her and the nanny from a distance while you're away. They'll be safe. And when you return we'll talk about how to handle this situation."

"Be safe and we'll talk later." Reid gave her a minute to recompose herself before talking to her.

"Who's Lauren Reynolds?"

"She was a friend of mine."

"Oh, how'd she die?"

"Ah… It was a car accident."

"I'm really sorry."

"Come on, let's go Reid." Prentiss, sure to throw the phone away when he wasn't looking, led him to the car and they made their way to the jet. She was more riddled with anxiety than ever before as they were away. She took nail picking to a new level, and she could feel people's knowing stares coming her way. But they didn't know and she wasn't going to tell them anything. Involving them would just make things worse. However, in the middle of the case, she realized she wasn't doing a great job hiding her stress. Morgan called her on it.

"What's going on with you Prentiss?"

"Uh…" She tried to play it off, make it seem like the idea was crazy. "With me?"

"Yeah. I've been watching you these past couple of days and something has obviously been bothering you."

"Derek, because I like you, I'm going to ask you not to do this…" She pleaded with her eyes before actually saying the word. "Please." He wasn't happy to let it go. He wasn't happy that she felt she couldn't trust him, but she seemed so determined to not talk that he had no other choice but to let it go. She tried to be better at hiding after that, but the number of phone calls she made wasn't helping.

As soon as the case was wrapped up, she rushed home leaving five confused friends behind. They were all wondering what was going on with her, but they just couldn't seem to get any answers. They just watched as she left in a hurry. She practically bulldozed the door just to get in and see for herself that Charlie was still the perfectly healthy and safe little girl that Sarah kept assuring her she was.

"Hey, you're home."

"Yeah, how was she? What's she doing?"

"She's good. She got a little messy after dinner, so she just finished her bath, and is in her room playing with her animals." Reaching down to the side of the hall table, she started to pull something up. "This came for you today." Sarah told her as she passed her a long box. Emily carefully opened it and her face instantly paled. Her breath caught in her throat. On sight of the flowers, she was sent directly to an old memory. The garden at the villa was beautiful. "Are you ok?" Emily looked up at her, trying to collect herself. "You look like you've seen a ghost." In a way, she did.

"I'm fine." She faked a smile and closed the box up. There was something else in the box too, something she'd be addressing, but not with Sarah still there. "You should go. It's getting late. Take the next few days off."

Sarah looked at her confused. "Do you have some time off?"

"Something like that." Emily put the box down on the table. "I have a friend coming for a visit, and he loves spending time with her."

"Oh, is he the mysterious father?"

"No, he's not; just someone I've known for a long time who has been good to the both of us over the years."

"So you don't need me to come at all?"

"No, take some time off, paid of course. I know it's last minute."

"You don't have to do that."

"I do, now go. Have fun with your free time, and I'll call when I need you to come back."

"Are you sure?"

"Very." As soon as she was out of the door, Emily looked back into the box and pulled out the small envelope. Opening it just made her upset, angry, and frustrated; more so than she was before. Things were not ok. She didn't need to sit there and stare at the evidence to know that. She quickly put the flowers in the trash and the envelope into her safe. She couldn't let Charlie see how frazzled she was. So she did her best to go about the rest of her day as normally as possible. She knew Clyde was watching, but she needed to get a hold of him. She knew just how to do it too.

"Come on Charlie. We're going out."

"Where are we going?"

"Do you want hot chocolate?"

"Uh huh."

"Then let's go get hot chocolate." There was no more convincing necessary. Charlie followed blindly, not questioning her mother's actions one bit. They made a pit stop at the store so Emily could get a new disposable or two before heading to the cafe. As they went to sit in the outdoor patio area with their steaming cups of cocoa, Emily covertly placed a phone into the fold of a newspaper on one of the benches and waited. She knew he was still watching hanging around somewhere, so he would know the phone was for him. It was out of her line of sight though, so she'd just have to wait for the call to know he was there. It didn't take more than a few minutes to have the sister that phone she left on the table ring.

"Took you long enough." That wasn't her normal greeting, but it was what it was. "Let's make this quick, it's almost bedtime."

"How many times do I have to tell you? I'm not quick about anything."

"I don't know about that." It was nice that they could find a little levity in their situation, but there wasn't time for that. "We need to talk."

"Then what have we been doing?" She decided to ignore his usual comments and keep them moving forward.

"Anything happen while I was away?"

"Nothing yet. I was within ten feet of them at all times. My eyes never left her. She's quite lovely by the way; more like you than I remember."

"No signs of him?"

"No, but I have news."

"What is it?"

"Jeremy's dead."

"What?" Charlie looked at her mother not understanding what was happening. She shot Charlie an "I'm sorry" look and motioned for her to just continue her drinking. "Was it him?"

"Yes, I believe it was."

"What's being done to locate him?"

"Only every agency in the northern hemisphere is looking for him."

"What are we doing to find him?"

"My contact in DCRI tracked one of Doyle's aliases leaving France the day after Jeremy's murder. He took a commercial flight to Beijing then doubled back on a train bound for Berlin. When the agency got there, he was nowhere to be seen."

"He sent me flowers and a note that said 'soon.' I think it's safe to say he's coming here next."

"We'll find him."

"How safe is your house?" She whispered into the phone. This part she definitely didn't want Charlie to hear.

"It's called a safe house for a reason. Nothing is traceable to me. Windows are bulletproof. Doors are locked up tight."

"I need you to take her."

"What?"

"He knows about her. I don't know how he got it, but there was a picture of me with her when she was just a baby tucked into the card he sent. He's going to go after her and I can't let that happen. I won't."

"I'll bring her to the safe house, call in a favor and get her settled with someone we can trust. What about you?"

"I don't want you to worry about me. Just take her, disappear if you have to, and just protect her. And if anything happens to me, you keep her hidden until he's taken care of."

"When?"

"Tomorrow… You can pick her up from school. I'll put an untraceable phone in her bag so we can keep contact and pack the necessities."

"And until then?"

"I'll do my best to make sure nothing happens."

"Tomorrow then."

"Tomorrow…" They both hung up. She turned to watch him leave before taking Charlie and heading home. Charlie went off to get ready for bed while Emily started to pack her bag. She didn't know how she was going to say goodbye. There was a very real chance it'd be the last time they saw each other for a while, if not ever. But she knew it was for the best. She couldn't let Charlie's life be damaged by her own indiscretions. It just wasn't fair.

As they went to bed that night, so many things went through her mind, and they continued well into morning. Doyle killed her friend. He escaped from prison. He was terrorizing her with her own memories. But the worst part was that he was affecting her daughter. He was taking away the security she should feel and was about to replace it with fear. None of it should've been happening. He should've been locked away in his cage for the rest of his time on earth.

"Mommy." The voice pulled her out of her thoughts.

"What is it Charlie Bear?"

"Why are you crying?" She didn't even realize she was. Her thoughts kept her from noticing. They also kept her from noticing that she barely slept and it was already time to wake up.

Quickly wiping away the stray tears, she said, "Go get dressed for school and I'll tell you over breakfast."

"Ok." Reluctantly, Charlie listened to the orders while Emily made breakfast. It was quiet while they ate. Emily didn't know what exactly to tell her and Charlie just didn't want her mom to be sad.

"We need to have a little talk."

"Am I in trouble?"

"No, you're not in trouble." She absolutely didn't want her to think any of it was her fault. "But you're going to be going away for a little while."

"Going where? Are you coming with me?"

"Clyde's in town and he wants to spend some time with his favorite girl. I'm going to stay here while you go out of town with him."

"You're not coming too?"

"No, I can't because I have to work, but we'll talk every day."

"I don't want to go without you. Not even for a little or for a long time."

"It won't be too long, but he's going to pick you up from school today, so I won't see you until you come back home."

"What?" She looked like she was about to cry. Hell, Emily wanted to cry. She wanted to be able to say that everything was fine and mean it. She wanted to go to her team for help, but couldn't. Clyde already explained why that was both against policy and extremely dangerous. "Why?" Her lower lip was beginning to quiver effectively pulling on her mother's heartstrings.

"Oh, baby, please don't be sad. Don't cry." Charlie found her way into Emily's lap and wrapped her hands around her neck. "I need you to listen to me ok." Charlie couldn't do much more than nod and try to force away the sniffles. "I told you I'd explain why I was crying. Right?"

"Uh huh." It physically pained her that she was having this conversation with a five year old. It was way too much for her to comprehend, and even more difficult for her to have to deal with.

"A long time ago, mommy put a bad guy in jail, and now he's mad."

"So?"

"He's not in jail anymore and I think he's coming here."

"Is he going to hurt you mommy?" The fact that she even thought to ask that made Emily a little weary. They needed to come up with happier bedtime stories when all was over.

"Not if I can help it, but I need to know that you're safe. So I need you to be brave and strong and go with Clyde. He can make sure that no one gets you."

"But I want you to come. I want you to be safe too. I don't want a bad guy to get you. You're my mommy and they can't have you." Her heart was melting.

"I know, but look at this." She pulled the phone from the side pocket of her back pack. "This phone only calls and texts mommy's phone. It's off now, but when Clyde picks you up you turn it on and have it with you at all times. I'm going to call every night and you have it to call me if there's a problem. I put Jazz in your bag too. Clyde has everything else you need for now. I called your teacher and I want you to pick up all the work she put aside for you."

"I'm not going to school."

"It's Friday, but you won't be going Monday. Hopefully you'll go back soon."

"Ok." The unhappiness she was feeling couldn't even be covered up in the slightest.

"Can you do something for me?"

"Anything mommy."

"I need you to remind yourself everyday that I love you so much and that I am so proud of you. Because it's true. I love you more than you'll ever know."

"I love you too." She buried her head into Emily's neck muffling the next of her words. "I promise to be strong and I'll even be extra good for Clyde." After giving her a tight hug, Emily pulled the little girl from her body to wipe the tears from her eyes. Explaining that she couldn't tell anyone anything, Emily stayed there with her, holding her, until they made their way to work and school. Before parting, Emily made one last attempt to soothe her by reminding her they both had their necklaces and would always be with each other no matter how far away they were.

On her way to work, she stopped at her lawyer's office. She knew it was time to get her affairs in order. She couldn't leave her daughter's future uncertain. Everything needed to be taken care of beforehand. Luckily, her lawyer works fast and promised to have the papers for her, ready to be signed, by the close of business, or the next morning at the latest. She gave him some leeway though. She was asking for a lot. There were new things added, old things amended, and she wanted it done as soon as possible.

The day was pretty mellow. Rossi took Reid to some conference. Morgan was working up a profile for one of his consults. And Hotch was doing whatever Hotch did when huddled in his office. She was free to talk to JJ alone and saw her chance when the blonde stepped into the break room. "JJ, we're good friends right?" It was abrupt and out of the blue, but she needed to ask. However, she couldn't quite look her in the eyes when she did.

"Right…" The question caught her off guard. She thought that was a well known fact. Why would Emily have to question that? Where was the conversation going?

"And you like Charlie…?"

"I couldn't love her more if she were my own." She took a seat next to Emily on the table. "What's going on Em?"

"If something ever happened to me, you'd make sure she was taken care of and loved and had the best life she possibly could?" Now JJ was scared. And when she didn't answer, Emily finally looked over to her and could see the terrified look in her eyes. "Right Jayje? You'd make sure she was ok?"

"Of course I would, but why are you asking?" The gravity of the question and the timing and all the odd behavior were hitting JJ like a ton of bricks. "Are you sick? Should I be worried?"

"No, it's nothing like that. I just update my will every year, and this time it got me thinking." JJ wasn't as relieved as she thought she would be. There was still something going on.

"Thinking about what?"

"What happens to Charlie if I die? I've thought about it before. It was stipulated that if I should die, that custody of Charlie would go to her father."

"Before?"

"I can't just have her dropped on the doorstep of people she barely knows."

"So then who?"

"Well, I was hoping it'd be you."

"Me?" She was honored and terrified at the same time. This wasn't exactly lunch at work conversation.

"You don't have to say yes. I'll understand if it's asking too much, but you, Garcia, the BAU, you guys are my only family. You're a great friend, a great mother, and Charlie already loves you. I'd want someone she knows to take care of her while she got to know her father, and be there for her even after that."

"So you'd want me to fill the void?"

"You're the only person I could think of that I trust enough to do this." She took a deep breath, slowly exhaling. "I'm asking you to care for her as if she were your own daughter and help her get to know her father." JJ didn't like the serious nature of the conversation. Why were they talking about death? Didn't they see enough of that?

"I'd have to know who he was first." She joked in an attempt to lighten the mood.

"I'm being serious." Emily turned to look at her once again. She needed to see the look in her eyes for the rest of the conversation. She needed to gage her reaction.

"Of course I would Em."

"I need you to promise me that if anything ever happens to me that you'll teach her to be an independent and strong woman like you, that you'll teach her that it's ok to be different, and that you'll tell her to follow her dreams no matter what they might be. But most of all, you'll make sure she remembers me and that she knows I always love her."

"I will."

"Promise me?"

"I promise." She believed her, and that was all she needed.

"You're a great friend. You know that?"

"I do now." JJ was still trying to comprehend what just happened.

"Don't ever change Jennifer… ever." She didn't know what to say to that. Was there a right or wrong response? It didn't matter because before she had a chance to answer, Emily was out of the room and working at her desk. She thought about going over there, but what would she even say?

The day went by and all she could think about was Charlie. What did Doyle know about her? What would he do with her? There were so many questions. It seemed like most of her life was more questions than answers. She just wanted her baby back. That wasn't too much to ask for, and she was going to make it happen. And the first step to that happened right after she met with her lawyer. She had settled that. All the documents were signed and witnessed. Custodial guardianship would be granted to JJ in the event of her untimely death along with a stipulation that Charlie get to know Hotch and custody be reexamined after a certain amount of time. Her affairs were officially in order. So when Clyde called her, she was ready. Things were going to change after that.

"We've found him. He's headed for DC." She knew that. The note told her. That was only her confirmation.

"Are you sure it's him?"

"It's Doyle alright. I'm looking at him right now." It was a picture on his laptop, but that was all he needed to see. "He chartered a private jet."

"How did he get through security checks?"

"Used an alias, Chuck Murray."

"His dog's name?"

"Fitting, no? He is a bit of an animal."

"He's baiting us. He wants us to know."

"Let him come to us." It wasn't long after that that she got another mysterious message. She knew just where to find him. He was coming to her. And she was going to him. Nothing good was going to come after that. Whatever was going to happen, though, it was going down. And it was starting right now…

**Every time I go to upload I get and error message, and then I have to wait and wait until it finally lets me upload. Does that happen to anyone else or am I the lucky error reciever?**

**I had to break up the chapter because it was getting so long. The timeline's a little different than the show. I didn't want to shove all the cases in there or there'd be more crime than drama. But I did want to use their general concept then turn it into my own.**

**Next chapter is where the Doyle drama really begins. Also, if any of my French is wrong, I apologize. I never studied the language.**

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**


	8. The Endgame

Chapter 8: The Endgame

In the cover of darkness, Emily sat at a table in the empty plaza, two coffees on the table. She'd been waiting for hours that felt like days getting more and more frustrated the longer he kept her there. She wanted to leave and actually thought about it. That's when she felt a hand on her back and she immediately stiffened. "I knew you were watching."

"What's the expression? Keep your friends close and your enemies on surveillance."

"I've been here for hours. You should know better than to keep a lady waiting."

"Seems hypocritical seeing I had to wait six years." He took a seat opposite her.

"Hello Ian."

"Hello Lauren. Oh wait… Lauren Reynolds died in a car accident, didn't she?"

"What do you want?"

"You." Her face contorted. There was no questioning his motives after that; he was blunt, honest. "Oh not today; don't worry about that. But soon."

"I've got a Glock leveled at your crotch. What's stopping me from taking the shot and ending this right now?"

"You wouldn't make it back to your car and you know it." She just exhaled. He was right, she did know it. "Tell me, does the lovely Penelope know the truth about you? Or is she too busy watching movies with Derek to care? Here you are… all alone while Aaron sits at home with his son." She cut him off right there. She wouldn't hear any more of it, especially not where Aaron and Jack were concerned. She didn't even want to conceive what he had to say about JJ.

Each word came out like its own distinctive sentence. "Come near my team or anyone I love, and I will end you."

"I don't have a quarrel with them. How long that remains the case depends entirely on you. They're innocent. You're not."

"I was doing my job."

"I think you did a little more than that. You took the only things that mattered to me, so I'm going to take what matters to you." Her mouth was slightly agape in anticipation. "Your life, and her. She's going to know exactly who you are and she's going to hate you for it." That upset her more than the threat on her life. The only her she could think of was Charlie, and his words were up for interpretation. At least he didn't say he was going to take her life, just her. She wasn't sure that was better. And as he left with a parting quote, a little token of their past, and the pointed use of her real name, she was left with a sinking feeling, like the world beneath her was one step away from shattering. At least the matchbook he left behind told her just where to find him when the time came.

The next morning she changed up her route and took an alternate form of transportation. She hadn't been sleeping well, or at all. And with Charlie away it was only worse. Everywhere she went she was constantly looking over her shoulder, seeing every person she crossed paths with as the potential bad guy. Paranoia creates an awareness that's hard to retain with caffeine as the only energy source. So, she was dozing off on the train and when Clyde took the adjacent seat, he easily startled her.

In French he said, "Lucky for you I'm not working for Doyle; got on three stops before."

"Ian Doyle is here. In DC."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I sat next to him last night."

"You what?"

"He said if I warned my team or told anyone, he'd kill them."

"Why didn't he kill you, or more to the point, why didn't you kill him?"

"He's not working alone." They talked a bit more. Clyde tried to reassure her, reminding her of the promise he made when she went undercover. It didn't help, but she vowed that that was where it ended. It needed to be over. After asking all about her whereabouts and well being, and having him make one last promise to protect Charlie, Emily got off and went to work. It was only a matter of time before he made his next move, and she had to be ready for it.

She was late… again. That had been happening since Doyle came back into her orbit. It was a habit so unlike her, but once again she late and found herself apologizing for it. They had a case; more death to deal with. Topping it off, she had to interrupt the briefing that was already in progress.

"Guys, I'm sorry I'm late."

"You ok?" Hotch was concerned about her. Her tardiness and odd behavior hadn't gone unnoticed by him.

"Yeah, it's just… one of those weeks I guess." She said as she sat at the table knowing all eyes were on her. "I'm sorry. What did I miss? Arsonist?" The burnt house and decrepit bodies pointed to yes.

"One appears to be murder suicide. The other a freak accident."

"So why are we looking at it?"

"House fires are rare. Add to that a few miles apart, within the same hour, it kind of tips the scale of coincidence."

"If somebody did this, they're highly motivated and organized."

"And if he wants to strike again he has seventy two hours before the storm shuts the city down." Hotch got out of his seat and exited the room, all the other agents following his lead.

After the briefing, when Garcia stopped Emily and tried to get the juicy details behind her tardiness, she snapped, and she felt horrible. It was the exhaustion mixed with all the stress. Add separation anxiety on top of that, and she was seconds away from nuclear combustion. She didn't mean to take it out on her. It just sort of happened. Then after a visit to one of the crime scenes with Rossi, she got another talking to. It seemed like she was oozing distress, just asking for her coworkers to question it, but she didn't want that at all. Yet, they all seemed to feel that she did. She should've been grateful, and in a way she was; they cared. But she wasn't in the mood. She just listened to what they all had to say.

"Garcia hasn't found any connection between the victims."

"There has to be one."

"On paper they're perfect. Everything's clean. But what happened to them last night was anything but." Dave watched as Emily tensed when she received a text. This one wasn't from Doyle or anyone of importance. It was just a nuisance text, but Dave noticed how frustrated she seemed. "You ok?" He asked with genuine worry and care.

She had to come up with something. At least what she was going to say was actually true. "People text like it's not as intrusive as a phone call."

"You know, you haven't had a vacation in a while. Weren't you talking about Italy?" She was surprised he remembered. She wanted to take Charlie the week after Christmas, during the school break. She was finally old enough to remember the trip and she wanted to make new and better memories there. Obviously, the chances of that happening were slim and getting slimmer.

"My mother extended her stay there. It wouldn't be much of a vacation."

"It's a big country."

"Not big enough."

"Well, think about it." She really did appreciate his concern. She just couldn't allow him to know anything without putting him in danger too.

"I will." Just then the elevators dinged and opened up.

He stopped her midway out the door to say, "And pick a place where that thing doesn't work." It was a rare occasion as of late that the smile on her face, however brief, was genuine. But it was real then. The smile quickly faded though.

And by the time she went to her desk and nearly scared Spencer half to death, she didn't know what she was feeling. When she questioned him about it, she was surprised by his openness. Telling her about his headaches and saying she was the only one to know touched her. He trusted her, but she didn't afford him the same candidness. She assured him she'd keep it to herself. But then he turned the questioning back to her. Another person was asking if she was alright. She thought she was better at hiding her emotion.

"How about you?"

"I'm good." She knew he wouldn't let her get away with that answer.

"You've been picking your fingernails again."

"Yeah."

"You only do that when you're stressed."

"It's just a bad habit." Reid gave up after that as he came up with something about the case.

The next thing she knew, Morgan was dragging her to Byron Delaney's house to find how he was connected to the Fagans and the Casenzas. There was a nagging feeling in the back of her mind that told her the cases were connected to Doyle. She didn't know how, but she knew. She even found a way to sneak that question into conversation with Derek without actually asking that question.

"What's your take on these guys?"

"They're contradicting themselves; exposing bodies but then going through all of this to hide it."

"Do you think they wanted us on this case?"

"Us? The BAU? Why would they?"

"Ego, control, some kind of agenda."

"I don't think we're even on their radar Prentiss. Do you?"

"You're right. Why would we be?" But she knew why they would be. He wanted to take her life. That didn't just mean physically. Doyle was doing a damn good job of ruining her life as it was, and he didn't even have to touch her to do it. All he had to do was simply exist and make his presence known. Because of him she was living in fear. She was separated from her daughter. She was lying to her friends. He was effectively doing just what he set out to do.

As they arrived, they saw their unsubs exit the apartment and start firing at them. They were being assaulted with semiautomatics. Things just escalated from there. They returned fire as best they could and Prentiss even managed to clip one of them hitting his femoral artery. He was dead and the other unsubs knew it. Morgan raised a good question though. Why shoot the wrist? They shot him in the head; he was already dead, so why shoot the wrist?

"Prentiss…" Morgan said as he got a closer look at the limb. "He's got a tattoo, or what's left of one." If that tattoo was of what she thought it was, there was no more doubting Doyle's involvement. The clues were all there, now they were just lining up. "They blew a hole through the tattoo because we could've IDed it."

"So they're confident we can't ID his face or prints." The more details that were collected, the more she was sure it was him. But when they returned to the office and Reid was working on recreating the tattoo, she was just waiting for that last piece of the puzzle. Then Garcia walked in and announced that the money trail led back to Clear Water Securities. If it wasn't together before, it was after that.

Even knowing all she did, when Reid said "got it," and showed them the tattoo, her mind just began to race. She needed to get away, if even for a moment. She headed to the bathroom and called Clyde. She wanted to warn him, to tell him to make plans to leave the country if necessary, and to talk to Charlie one last time. But she never got the chance. Garcia followed her in.

"Are you ok?"

"Oh. Yeah, I'm good." She snapped at her again shortly after that. She really didn't mean to. She really didn't want to, but she couldn't really control it either. "I'm sorry." At a loss for what to say next, she went with, "I'm going to be alright."

"Ok." Penelope didn't really believe it. "I'm just really worried about you. The flu is going around. Wait, are you pregz?"

Was it sad that it was a time in her life where an unplanned pregnancy would've been the simpler problem? Letting out a laughing breath, she said, "No. No, I'm just not sleeping." She waited a moment to see if Garcia was going to say anything before she went on. "I'm having this recurring nightmare. There's a hill and there's this little girl about five years old, dark hair. And she's just dancing in the sun, but somehow I know that she's waiting for me. So I start to walk up the hill but it just keeps getting steeper and steeper, and by the time I get to the top of the hill, the little girl is gone. She vanished and I look everywhere for her, and when I can't find her, I start to panic. And I panic because I know what's waiting out there for her. I know what the world can do to a girl who only sees beauty in it… Like you." They share a moment full of glassy eyes and half smiles. "Somehow you, you always make me smile. And I don't think I've ever thanked you for that." She was aware that her words sounded a lot like a goodbye. And in a way, they were. She would've said more, too, if JJ didn't interrupt their moment to tell Emily that she was needed in the Sensitive Compartmented Information Facility.

Everything that happened as she sat in the SCIF with Hotch, Morgan, Rossi, and a bunch of corporate higher ups was like a faded nightmare. She had to pretend that all was well and force herself to get through it, but she was dying inside. She was marked for death, just like those people, only she saw it coming, and she had to stop him from killing anymore. The world around her was at a partial standstill as she attempted to listen to what was being said. She only caught bits and pieces. She listened as her team explained what they've found. There was the tattoo and the names, the fact that for one it was personal. She didn't want to hear anymore, but she needed to hear the CWS guys say his name out loud. Once they did, there'd be no more running from it. Her secrets would start to unravel. And she'd know what she knew all along to be truth.

"We ran an operation to capture the leader of a breakaway IRA faction, years ago. He assumed that moniker."

"What's his name?"

"Ian Doyle." And that was it. It was out there, and there was no taking it back.

She hated herself even more when Hotch asked her directly if Doyle was on her radar while she worked with Interpol and she, flat out, lied to him. But she still did what she asked and called Clyde to send a convincing document that left out all her information. They just had to wait for him to get it together. Then there was that moment between her and Morgan. He told her she needed to trust, and that she could trust him. She knew that though. She did trust him. She just couldn't tell him. There would be too much at stake if she did. But she told him she trusted him, and that had to be enough.

Thinking she knew everything there was to know about Doyle thus far, she was blindsided by the fact that he wasn't in the Russian prison she was told he was, but stowed away in some hidden political prison in Korea. Kwan-li-so? When the hell did that happen? It had to have been Sean. He was the only one that would've known that information and had the ability to give and take it at will.

None of that even mattered. She moved on and did her job. She got them the document they wanted. But she also got some information she didn't want. After thanking Clyde for the bank accounts and list, he informed her that Sean's entire family was gone, all killed and undoubtedly done by Doyle. She knew it was time. She knew where to go to find him. The fight had to be brought to him so she could finally put an end to the running. She was done hiding. Once the opportunity came, she was gone.

That opportunity presented itself during the multiagency taskforce briefing. As Hotch gave all the information they had, Emily just took in one last look at her life. There were faces she wanted to remember if things ended badly. There were people and memories that she wanted to hold on to. She didn't want to say goodbye to that life, but she didn't want to see them killed either. So she did what she had to do. As everyone else listened to Hotch, she looked around at her friends, her family, and studied their features for what might've been the last time. Knowing that the coast was clear, and no one would witness her departure, Emily slowly backed out of the room, soaking it in one last time before opening the doors and, possibly, never looking back. She just had some last stops before she headed to the place where it all began.

First, she had to go home. She had to change and get a few things. Emptying out the safe was a priority. She knew the team would come looking for her, if not there then at the apartment, and she'd leave some clues behind at both places, but there were some files that were her insurance; for her eyes only. Packing everything she didn't want seen or anything she'd need for her encounter with Doyle, Emily was ready to go. There was just one last call and one last errand. The call came first.

"Ah, Emily. Do you need another document?"

"Leave."

"What?"

"In her backpack is a passport with the last name we used when we went undercover as a married couple. I know you still have that passport. That will get you out of the country. Take a commercial flight to France and stay at the cabin."

"What's going on Em?"

"This is it. I'm doing this now and either he's going to get what he wants or we're going to be free. Whatever the outcome, I just want her to be safe. And you too."

"So you want us to hide out in France?"

"That's exactly what I want you to do. It's what I need you to do."

"I made you a promise, and I'm going to keep it. This doesn't mean I agree with what you're doing, but anything to keep her safe. It's going to take me a little bit of time, but we'll be out of here and on our way overseas by morning."

"Just do it. Tell her I love her and that I miss her so much."

"She'll want to talk to you."

"I can't. I'll cry and then she'll cry and then I won't be able to do this. Just tell her please." She didn't wait for a response as she hung up and made her way to her car. Two more stops and it was hello Boston. First up was a drive by at JJ's and then a pit stop at the old apartment.

Meanwhile, as Emily ventured to the great state of Massachusetts, the rest of the team was finally piecing the puzzle together. The briefing was long over, and the other agencies were all out there looking for Doyle as they stayed back to figure out where Doyle would be. Prentiss was mysteriously absent, but that was nothing new as of late. They'd find her when they needed her. Right then, they just had to focus on the case. Morgan was running through the names that Garcia tracked the bank accounts from Emily's document to.

"All with the initials LR."

"The CIA uses cryptograms like that to assign to nonofficial cover agents working the same case."

"The last four names are all covers; spies."

"Wait…" Garcia said as she walked over and innocently snatched the list from Morgan's hand. "No, this isn't right. See this space…" She pointed to the empty line under all the redacted information. "It shouldn't be here."

"Could it be a formatting error?"

"No, it's a spreadsheet template. The formatting doesn't allow for this. There's a missing name on here."

"There's another spy whose cover is LR."

Light bulbs went off in the genius' head. He knew the missing name. "Lauren Reynolds is dead."

"What?" All eyes turned to Reid, curious to know what he was talking about.

"Lauren Reynolds is dead. Prentiss said that on a phone call nearly two weeks ago. But her intonation wasn't surprised or grief, it was like a mantra." Hotch got a sick feeling after hearing Reid and immediately tried calling his subordinate. Everything was coming together in everyone's minds. Everything about Emily's behavior was now explained and they were all more worried than ever.

"Guys." Hotch called them to attention holding Emily's badge and gun in his hands as further proof.

"She left her badge and gun? Why would she do that?" Morgan questioned.

"That doesn't make sense. Why run? We're her family. We could help." A part of Spencer truly believed his words.

"Doyle's killing families. She's not married, not close to relatives. He was ready to wipe us out. She ran to protect us." JJ listened to Dave and didn't know what to say. That wasn't right. She had a daughter. She had Charlie. What happened to Charlie? After much contemplation, she decided she needed to tell them about her. Emily was her best friend, and she didn't want to ruin that, but she knew Emily would want Charlie safe. And while Emily probably made arrangements, JJ would never forgive herself if anything happened to that little girl who stole her heart. She was about to speak up when Will came through the doors. JJ excused herself and pulled him into the more private quarters.

"What are you doing here Will?"

"This was on our porch when I was leaving with Henry." He said as he passed her a large, stuffed envelope.

"What is it?"

"I don't know. It say's urgent and that's Emily's address. I thought something might be going on."

She accepted the package. "Where's Henry?"

"I just dropped him off at his sleepover. You didn't answer your phone so I figured I'd bring this by."

"Ok, good. Thank you. I need to see what this is. You should probably go home."

Once Will was gone, JJ didn't know what to do first. Talk to the team? Try to get the information Hotch asked about? Look through the package? What? First, she decided, she tried to reach out to her contacts at the State Department and Langley to see what she could get on Emily's time working at Interpol. She got the clearance and was told they'd send what they could as soon as possible. She knew that was the best she was going to get and took it as a win.

Slowly opening the envelope was her next move. She knew she only had a little more time to herself before the rest of the team went looking for her, and she needed to see what was in there. It was a bunch of papers. Upon closer examination, she saw it was a copy of her will. A rush of emotions was hitting her all at once. She was sad and scared and a little angry. There was too much to know which she was feeling at any given moment. And alongside the will was another large envelope with her name on it. She was just about to read the letter when Hotch came up to her.

"Did you get anything from your contacts?"

"They're sending over what they can right now."

"Good, let's go." Reluctantly placing everything down on her desk as they passed it, JJ followed him out.

The more she read about Emily's time undercover, the more she felt like she heard this story before. Bad guy… Friend died… Charlie… It all made sense, but she didn't want to jump to any conclusions, not yet. At that moment, she just had to finish their briefing. She'd figure the rest out later. She also decided to keep the Charlie info to herself a little longer.

"Where does Doyle fit into this?" JJ was asked after she explained what her contacts sent.

"He was their last case. And now the JTF is on his hit list." They all watched in wait of what she would say and do next. "Tsia Mosley was killed the day they went to make the arrest. Victim number one after he escaped was Jeremy Wolf. Sean McCallister at Interpol was the second. He's the one who brought the JTF in. He was murdered last week in Brussels with his wife and daughter. Last is team leader, Clyde Easter of British SIS. He fled to DC and hasn't checked in since Sean's murder."

"Did the JTF make the arrest?"

"No, the host countries handled that." She knew what question was coming next, and she'd do her best to answer it.

Explaining that Emily was his type was hard for her. They all knew what that meant. And Morgan wasn't hesitant to show how angry he was about it. It bothered him. It bothered most of them, but they understood, on some level, that she was just doing her job. But that didn't really ease the building tension.

"So the only one he had any contact with was Emily? How'd he know about the rest?"

"Easter's the only one that hasn't been targeted. Maybe we should start there. We need to find him." The team split up. Hotch sent Morgan and Rossi to Emily's place while the rest of them tried to locate Clyde. Caught up in everything else, he completely forgot that Emily had moved. And since JJ went with Garcia, there was no one there to tell them to go to her new address. Obviously they wouldn't find much more than the little things she disposed of there on her way out of town. The apartment hadn't sold yet, so there was still furniture and other things as well.

Some time passed before they got any leads. Garcia's computer dinged and they were finally getting somewhere. Immediately, she went running to the group. "Sir!" She called for Hotch's attention. "TSA got a hit on one of Clyde Easter's covers. He's on a plane to Boston as we speak." What they didn't know was that he wasn't alone. He couldn't let anything happen to Emily, not when he could help it. So he was going to travel with Charlie to Boston, meet up with a mutual friend of both his and Emily's and get Charlie settled away from harm. That way he could keep both of his promises to her.

"Have him detained as soon as he steps off." He turned to JJ and said, "We need to go. Garcia, you're coming with us."

Before Garcia boarded the jet, she placed a call to every number Emily ever had leaving a very heart wrenching message. "Hey, it's me. Hotch asked me to try all your numbers and I have this as an old listing. And you probably don't even use this anymore, but if it is you and you're out there… Come home. Please. God Emily. What did you think? That we would just let you walk out of our lives? I am so furious with you right now. But then I think about how scared you must be… hiding in some dark place, all alone. But you're not alone. Ok? You are not alone. We are in that dark place with you. We are waving flashlights and calling your name. So if you can see us, come home. And if you can't, then…" Tears were taking over both woman at this point in the speech; Garcia as she left the message, Emily as she listened. "Then you stay alive. Because we're coming."

It didn't take long after that for the team to gather on the jet. JJ was still struggling with what to do. She had yet to find time to look through everything that Emily left for her and she still didn't know where Charlie was. It was coming to a point where she had to find where her loyalty was in the situation. What would Emily want her to do, and would that really be what was best?

It seemed fate had its own ideas because just as she was about to tell them about Charlie, Garcia's screams filled the cabin. When they went to see what had her wailing, they all just watched the replay of the surveillance video. They had to endure the grueling footage. They had to watch as their friend attempted to get the leg up on her opponent only to be captured in the end. Doyle snuck up on her, and, even though her weapon was more powerful, Doyle caught her off guard and nailed two shots into her chest. Luckily, the only real damage it did was knock her down and make it hard to breath. Maybe it bruised some ribs. Emily may have been reckless, but she wasn't suicidal. She was wearing Kevlar.

Morgan started off on a tangent expressing his moral indignation. He was angry with his partner and he felt the need to articulate that. He didn't agree with the way she handled things. And yes, he was upset with her for that, but in all honesty, he was more upset that Emily hadn't trusted him. They just talked about how she needed to trust people and how she could trust him, but she obviously didn't. That cut him deep. Even so, when Rossi and Reid and the rest of them defended her actions, he knew they were right. She was doing what she thought she had to. It didn't make him feel any better though. It didn't change the facts. He didn't want anything bad to happen to his partner.

They were all met with their own sets of emotion. JJ was so much more than concerned and sad. She was fighting an internal war that was waging in her body. She was second guessing every thought that came into her mind. Really, she was just lost. She just saw one of her best friends, someone who was like a sister to her, try to fight a losing battle against a terrorist. Now all she could think about was how to get her back and safe. At the very least, they needed to find her before she was damaged beyond repair.

The same thoughts were going through Rossi and Reid's heads. They were both a little dumbfounded. For Reid it, too, was like watching a sister get taken and having her life on the line. He and Emily were pretty close. They went on outings together all the time. They enjoyed watching Russian films together. It was kind of their thing since no one else on the team knew the language. Seeing her go down and not get back up made him think about what he'd miss if he didn't get her back. He'd miss the little things they did together. He'd miss their special moments like the movie nights where it was just the two of them, something only they shared. But he didn't want to think about all the things he and the team would miss out on with her; he just wanted to think about how to get her back.

Rossi thought about his confidant. He thought about how she was his sounding board and if it were anyone but her that was taken, he'd be working through whatever he was feeling with her. He was very much a paternal figure in her life, and she filled the role of daughter in his. It was a relationship he wasn't willing to give up; not if he had a choice. And he was going to help in whatever way he could, no matter what he had to do. He wanted Emily back.

It was obvious that Garcia was a mess. She hated when anyone on the team was in danger. It was worse that she had to see the abduction on video. It was one of those things that she wished she could unsee. But she couldn't. The only thing she could do was put her skills to good use and find her friend. That was what she was going to do. As soon as the jet landed, she was going to put her fingers to work and bring her friend home. But first she needed to ask a question she wasn't sure she wanted an answer to.

"I hate to be the one to ask this, but how long does Emily have?"

"Her best chance is also the most troubling. Doyle saved her for last because he views her as his stressor." He paused a moment to let his words sink in. "Which means he'll take his time."

Hotch was worse for the wear. He was worried about her. It was warranted. He cared about her more than he was willing to admit, and there she was in the crosshairs of a sociopathic terrorist that she helped imprison. If that didn't give him the right to be openly worried, what did? It was obvious that Doyle wouldn't hesitate to hurt her. She was his trigger. But he still had to remain professional. The rest of the team didn't know about the past they shared or the history behind them, and he needed to forget about it too. That would be the only way he could focus and remain unbiased. That was the only way to ensure a safe return because bias clouds judgment.

The remainder of the ride was spent sorting through theories. The best they could come up with was that Clyde was the mole feeding Doyle the information about the case agents. Hotch said he'd deal with Clyde and was having him transported to the station where they were setting up. The rest of the team was tasked to find out whatever else they could. Anything they could dig up would hopefully prove fruitful. And they'd all get right to work when they got there.

Hotch bypassed all pleasantries when talking to Clyde. He needed to get straight to business; no nonsense or unnecessary fluff. If he had any info on Emily's or Doyle's whereabouts, he was going to get that by whatever means. Agent Hotchner practically threatened the blonde in front of him. He didn't know that Clyde was always going to help. His stubbornness and natural ego just made him have to play into the incensed man's rambling anger and protectiveness. He would've preferred it if customs never took him in and Charlie was with his contact instead of sitting around with some stranger and that he had spent the time he was detained out looking for Emily, but none of that could be helped. He was where he was and he was going to help how he had to help. If that meant cooperating with a team he felt Emily talked up a bit too much, so be it. A part of him was actually enjoying the fact that a man Emily regarded so highly thought he betrayed his own team and sold his dear friend out to a terrorist. He was weird like that.

Hotch was just about to really get into it with Clyde when the door to the interrogation room opened. "Hey Hotch; I think we found something you'll want to see."

"I'll be right there." JJ left the room quietly closing the door behind her and he turned back to Clyde. "Think about this. If you cooperate with us and save Agent Prentiss then maybe we could talk about a deal. But if anything happens to her, I will destroy you. You can count on that." He left his words to settle while he went to see what the others found.

"What've you got?"

"We looked through JTF's personal records again and Jeremy made some fancy plans before his death. Specifically, he bought a large estate in Spain."

"Signed all the documents with one of his covers. Made a down payment in cash. Deposited the rest." JJ finished for Garcia.

"So Jeremy sold the list to Doyle?" He was a little disappointed that he wouldn't get to let some of his frustration out on Easter anymore. Some would say he might even owe the guy an apology, but that just wasn't going to happen.

"He was the first victim, killed quietly. Doyle didn't want any attention until he was ready." They went on to speculate that for Jeremy, helping Doyle was a little bit of misplaced revenge. Yes, Tsia was killed by Doyle and Liam, but it was her team that couldn't protect her after they promised they would. His fiancé died and it was their fault. Revenge just took some time to come by. That was the way he saw it; the way he justified it.

After that, he knew he had to go back and talk with Clyde. They still needed his help while the other members worked on some local mob guy who was once connected to Doyle. Rossi and Reid were taking him into an interrogation room to see what they could get from him.

"Someone we both care about is in trouble. I need the original profile from when Doyle was a terrorist. We combine that with who he is now as a serial killer."

"Agent Hotchner, you took an oath to protect the laws of your country and I took one to protect the secrets of mine. Do you understand what you're asking?"

"I know it's not easy."

"I'll do it. If you join me." He continued on about how Doyle couldn't be caught and he'd just escape again before asking if Hotch could break his oath and murder Doyle in cold blood. "Can you break your oath Agent Hotchner?"

"No." That was his answer. He couldn't and Emily would understand why, but that didn't mean he wouldn't hesitate to take the shot if need be.

"Can you take one then? Can you swear that your team will save her?"

"Yes." He believed that. He had to. There were no other choices. She needed to come home safe and be a part of the family again. No more secrets.

"Then I'll help. Just give me a moment." Clyde wanted to find out where Charlie was being held. He didn't want her scared and hulled up in some interrogation room like a suspect. She was only five.

As he did that, Hotch went to catch up with the team. He noticed right away that JJ was wearing different cloths and questioned that. He didn't like the answer. Reid informed him that Fahey was a contact of Doyle's and tried to get in touch with Clyde. When they asked him why, he said that Clyde's bitch of a teammate was the cause of his broken wrist and the bills weren't going to pay themselves. When they jumped the gun and tipped their hand, he tried to extort them. JJ came up with the idea to feed his nicotine habit and took him to the roof for a smoke. Snipers took him out right there and then. They were just lucky they weren't hit as well. That wasn't at all comforting. He was their solid lead. He knew where she was, and they could no longer ask him. That information was gone.

Clyde and the JTF profile were all they had left. If they didn't come up with something tangible, Emily's time would run out. No one wanted that, and no one would allow that to happen. So as soon as Clyde joined them, they wasted no more time. They had to find her right away.

"Ian Doyle's a parasitic sociopath. Highly controlling, very explosive when something doesn't go as planned."

"Ok, so how does that fit in to who he is as a family annihilator?"

"And Prentiss' role in it?" Rossi added.

"Annihilators have romanticized views of who their family is."

"While actually he was an orphan." Clyde threw out.

"Well they think of family as their possession until some law shatters that and starts them killing."

"Doyle was never married."

"Children?"

"No."

"You wrote in your profile that he carried out his murders with a surgical like precision."

"Yes."

"No collateral damage?"

"That's right."

"Perhaps this child was a surrogate for one he had." They were cut off there as the sounds of a child arguing with someone filled the room.

And if the past few hours, hell, the past few days, weren't packed with enough surprises, Hotch was completely floored when little Charlie came walking in the station hand in hand with one of the lower level employees.

"I'm sorry." The young man said to Clyde. "She demanded to see you and wouldn't settle down until she did."

Charlie ripped her hand from his and ran over to Clyde. "When do I get to see mommy again?" She asked as she snuggled into Clyde's neck. She was trying her best to ignore the gruesome pictures and staring eyes. She didn't even realize that her mother's entire team, all of whom she wanted to meet, was there.

"Charlie?" JJ asked. She didn't expect to see her in Boston, hundreds of miles away from their home, in a place where her mother was being held captive. The little girl got out of Clyde's arms and ran to JJ. "Sweetie, what are you doing here?" The rest of the team just watched the interaction, confused and unsure what to do.

"Mommy told me to stay with Clyde. She said a bad guy was trying to scare her and she wanted me safe."

"Mommy?" Morgan broke the others' silence. "JJ who is this kid?"

Neglecting the curious stares, JJ moved closer to Clyde and asked, out of earshot of the others, "Do you think she could be in the profile?"

"If she is, I didn't know about it. But why would she be?"

"It's just something Emily said."

"Can we focus here?" Morgan interrupted. "Emily's still missing and we need to find her."

"Mommy's missing?" Tears flooded Charlie's eyes as she looked from JJ to Clyde.

Just then, Garcia came barreling in, laptop in tow. "You guys are not going to believe what I found. I went through the files and finally got into the JTF profile and there were more attachments added after his arrest." For the first time she looked up to see everyone's mouths hanging open and the little girl in JJ's embrace. "What did I miss? Is that Henry's friend? What's she doing here?" That was the million dollar question.

Everyone was so lost they didn't know where to begin. Hotch had to say something because new revelation or not, they still needed to focus on finding Emily. "First thing first. Garcia, what were you saying about files added?"

"They're loading as we speak. Doyle escaped the villa before the arrest could be made and was caught several months after. These pictures were added about two years after that." Clyde was confused.

"Did you know about them?" Hotch asked.

"No. Once he was caught I had nothing more to do with the case. The only person who had any access was Sean and his superiors. If anything was added they would be the only ones who could've done it."

The laptop that Garcia placed on the table was then alerting her that the files had been loaded. "Put them up on the screen Garcia." He just turned to JJ and she knew what he was asking. They didn't know what they were going to see on the screen so he wanted her to get the girl out of there. There was still so much uncertainty hanging in the air, especially about Charlie and her parentage, but that'd have to wait. That wasn't a time sensitive issue. Finding Emily was.

JJ began walking with Charlie out of the room as Garcia put the pictures on the screen. The gaggle of "what"s and "is she"s made her stop and turn around. If the fact that Charlie called Emily mommy wasn't enough evidence of the obvious, the pictures were more than enough proof. As she watched their reactions to the picture of a pregnant Emily and some of her with a baby Charlie, she forgot that Charlie was right there beside her until she ran past her and over to the crowd of people staring at the screen. She was smart, so she knew something was happening, but she couldn't quite grasp the situation. And the girl was inclined to believe JJ when she said that they were going to find Emily and she'd be just fine. So nothing else really seemed to register with her. In her mind, nothing was wrong. They wanted to prove her right.

"Why is there a picture of me and mommy up there?"

Morgan had enough of all the uncertainty. He was angry at Emily for keeping things from him and the team. He wasn't going to leave that unsettled too when he could just get the answer. So he walked over to her and got onto his knees so he was more her height. "Hi, my name's Derek. What's yours?"

"I'm Charlotte." She was being shy, but she wanted answers too, so she moved a little closer to him. "Are you going to help find my mom?" It was an innocent question that he wanted nothing more than to answer yes to.

"We're going to do whatever we can. Can you tell me who your mom is?" The question was redundant, but the facts just didn't seem to seep in. Why wouldn't Emily tell him? He was having trouble understanding.

"Look." She said as she tugged at her necklace until it opened. "That's me and mommy. She got this for my birthday."

"You look just like her." Everyone was distracted from the case at hand as they watched in wonderment. How could they not have known?

"Do you think she's his?" Rossi questioned as he pointed to a picture of Doyle.

"She's not." Clyde and JJ both said.

"You know about her JJ?" Reid asked.

"Yes, but we'll talk about that later. She's not his."

"But how do you know?"

"She told me about her father. Emily said she was born early and that her father was a great man who already had a kid. That's not Doyle."

"She lied about so much, how do you know she isn't lying about that?" Hotch asked a little harsher than he meant. He was just a little angry with Emily. He should've known. He should have seen it.

"Maybe you should think about the timing of things Agent Hotchner." Clyde knew about him and his true relationship with Charlie and Emily, but he wasn't going to come right out and say it. Cryptic comments left to interpretation were more his style. Emily would also kick his ass if he blabbed her secret. That, of course, was hinged on her presumed safe return.

Ignoring the Brit's words, Hotch said, "I think we're getting off topic here. Garcia, search hospital records. Check the birth certificate. We need to know for sure."

"You're wasting your time. There're no answers there. If these pictures were in the profile, they were there for a reason. She may not be his daughter, but that doesn't mean he doesn't think she's his."

"Are you saying the government used an innocent child to get leverage on a sociopath?"

"Is that really so hard to believe?" He looked around at all the disbelieving facing. They really had no idea how the spy trade worked. "Listen, part of the reason the raid was done earlier than anticipated, without any warning, was because he was getting too close. Doyle gave her a ring. He talked about having a family with her. He wanted nothing more than a child to call his own. Emily becoming pregnant so soon after the mission just worked in their favor." They looked at him like he had two heads. "Emily told me that she felt like she was being watched. I chalked it up to post case paranoia, but obviously I was wrong. She was being observed, and her pregnancy was like a goldmine to these people. Even though it wasn't his, they could dangle the baby in front of Doyle. They could give him everything he ever wanted with a woman he loved and then take it all away. It's a psychological game where the pieces fell right into their laps. Why wouldn't they use that to their advantage?"

"Would they really do that?"

"I bet there're pictures of their 'death' in there too. Can you come up with a better reason for those pictures being there? Because I can assure you that he's not in any way related to that girl over there." He pointed to Charlie.

"I think he's right sir." Garcia said. "It took some of my charm, but JJ told me the name of the hospital she was born and I, illegally, hacked into both of the Prentiss' records. While the father is unlisted, it would appear that the mini E was born rather early and spent some time in the NICU to help her further develop."

"So he's doing all this to get revenge, not just for betraying him and throwing him into a political prison, but because he felt like he was missing out on the one thing he always wanted. If he thinks that's his daughter, he's going after Emily to hurt her and get to his perceived child."

"There's no way she's going to willingly give up her location. She'd want to keep her safe."

Their speculation continued as valuable time was lost. JJ was doing her best to keep Charlie occupied and avoid the glares and questions. In a lot of ways, she lied to them just like Emily, but she did it out of respect for her friend. Eventually, they'd have to get over it.

They were making some progress, but not enough. They needed something solid. Where would Doyle take her? They searched for answers by digging into the past and pumping Clyde for information about where the case started and everywhere they went together. That only got them so far. Their frustratingly endless searching stalled when a cell phone went off.

Charlie jumped from the seat next to JJ and ran over to her bag. "Only Emily has that number." Clyde told the team. He went to grab the phone, but Charlie beat him to it.

"Mommy?" She asked into the phone. Hotch signaled Garcia to try and track the call as they listened to the exchange.

"What's your name?" The unknown man's voice asked her.

"You're not my mommy."

"No, mommy's all tied up."

**Hope this chapter is up to par and that you all enjoy it. It didn't come out exactly as I planned, but it worked out. I think… **

**Next chapter is more of Emily and how she got where she is and what's happening with Doyle. That kind of thing.**

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**


	9. Escaping the Enemy Camp

**To answer a question I received, no there is no Declan in this story.**

Chapter 9: Escaping the Enemy Camp

Emily knew what would happen when she walked through the glass doors of the BAU. There were only so many ways it would end. They both wouldn't walk out of there alive, but she was determined to make sure, even if she went out with him, that he'd never touch even a hair on her daughter's head. They might both die, or it would just be him; it might've been her that was left breathless. That she didn't know yet, but she'd soon find out.

After tying up all the loose ends and finishing up the last minute details, she hopped a flight to Boston. That was where it all began. A small Irish pub was where the nightmare she was living initially took root. They met at the Black Shamrock. Fahey had introduced them there. A business deal was formed, a partnership was made, and a relationship had started. She never once thought that they'd end up in the position they currently found themselves. It was a dangerous game of cat and mouse that they were playing, and she was afraid to find out the ending. At the same time, however, she just wanted it to end.

The whole plane ride was spent in a trance staring at the picture of her and Charlie from her necklace. Maybe it was wishful thinking or some odd form of maternal instincts, but she could feel that Charlie was doing the same thing. She would've given anything to see Charlie one last time before she left, but that would've made leaving too hard and finishing the war she was fighting that much harder; impossible even. That she couldn't have handled. It was tough enough where it stood.

The last thing she was expecting, though, was a phone call from Garcia. Her plane landed a while before. She knew she had some time before the team caught on, and the first thing she did was get information from Fahey. He was less than forthcoming and she was forced to use some of the, less than humane, interrogation techniques Clyde taught her. It was either a few broken bones or a bullet wound. The bones seemed like the least painful option, and definitely more legal. She got minimal information from him, but she did get enough. All she had to do was continue to case the joint. Doyle would show up. It was just a bunch of wasted moments until he did. But the message Garcia left filled the void and emptiness. The words made her feel loved and missed and disappointed, in herself, not the team, and all she wanted to do was call them up and tell them everything. But it was too late for that. Wiping the few stray tears from her eyes, she put the phone away and watched as Doyle headed for his car. It was time to make her first offensive move.

She played a tough defense, but her offense had to be even stronger, more ruthless. So when she went after the sentries with guns blazing, she wasn't aiming to hurt or kill, it was all to prove that she could; scare tactics. They all would've worked too. They would've worked if Doyle didn't expect her arrival. Someone tipped him off and he was waiting, armed and ready to take her down. IT seemed that during showdown moments, he was always tipped off and one step ahead. Last time that claimed Tsia's life. She hoped it didn't claim her this time.

"I only want Doyle. Where's Doyle?" She demanded the answer as she pointed the weapon towards Liam.

"Right here Love." That wasn't the voice she was expecting and when she turned around to face him, she really wasn't expecting to be looking at the inside of a gun barrel. The two shots to her chest didn't help her underdog status. The impact of the rounds knocked her to her ground and left her itching for air. Vest or not, getting shot was painful. The burning sensation radiated in her lungs and spread through her body as she fought to catch her breath. Ian hovered over her. His hot breath grew stale against her face as he moved to peel back the top layer of her jacket. "There it is." He said as he ran his hands over the new occupants imbedded in her armor. "Hello Love."

She was pretty out of it after that. The mechanics of it all were completely jumbled and fuzzy. She must've hit her head after the impact because the next thing she clearly remembered was waking up tied to a chair in some ramshackle basement of sorts. There were bits and pieces thrown in from the time between reaching that final destination, but not much. She remembered being in the back of an SUV. She remembered looking up and seeing the landscape pass her by at a dizzying pass. Everything else was just lost and irrelevant. She was where she was and it really didn't matter how she got there.

And through the grogginess as she looked at her concrete surroundings, she could hear the approaching sounds of squeaky wheels being carted toward her. Once that noise ceased, it was replaced by heavy footsteps. A shiver coursed through her body when she felt a hand, his hand, rub against her neck. Gentle or not, she didn't want him touching her.

"Where's my ring?" He asked ignoring the repulsed look on her face that came from his touch.

She didn't want to be there. She didn't want to talk to him. Yet, she found herself compelled to answer. "I flushed it." He let out malicious cackle as his hand inched their way under the fabric of her blouse.

"I spent years in prison because of that ring." Removing his firm hand from her breast, he began unbuttoning the shirt, slowly working his way down until her chest was bare save for the minimal bra that covered it. "I'm going to give you another gift… One you won't get rid of so easily." Not sure what exactly was about to happen and fearing for what could, Emily's breathing became rapid and shallow. Her chest heaved with the impending panic. "A four leaf clover should be a nice addition to your other tattoos." He moved the mechanism closer to her confinement chamber, flicking on a switch. "You still have two right?"

"Yup. And that's enough ink thanks." She tried to play it down by being sarcastic, but it really wasn't working. Whatever her façade, inside she was still painted with panic and unease.

"Ink." He stated humorlessly in a way that made it seem like her deductions were crazy. "The north Koreans can't afford ink. No. No. They brand themselves." She remained open-mouthed as her head contorted uncomfortably just enough to face him and see, for the first time, what the machine he brought in was. The sadistic undertones in his voice were hard to miss as well. She was struggling to stay as far away from him as he just moved closer. There was nowhere for her to go strapped to a chair. As she tried to lean forward, he just pulled her back, his hand catching her by the hair by the nape of her neck. "The more you fight…" He started gripping her hair tighter, tilting her head back just slightly, and pulling her that much closer. "The more this will hurt." There was no hesitation in the first strike. He watched in glory as she elicited the first of many full on screams. The smell of burning flesh, her own burning flesh, made her sick to her stomach, but she didn't even have time to register it as the pain from her previous injuries and the new excruciating agony from his torture melded together. She just continued to hiss it away as best she could. If she could help it, she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of hearing her cries. He didn't deserve the pleasure. Problem was, she couldn't help it, and her shrieks came out in loud and raw whimpers.

It seemed to take an eternity for him to finish. How long could an image no bigger than a square inch take to engrave into her chest? When it was finally over and she was panting from the sheer exhaustion the screaming induced, she didn't feel the relief she thought she would. As he rebuttoned her shirt, sure to savor every slight feel of her skin as he did, she knew it was only going to get worse. This was only the beginning. Some sick form of retribution in the way of branding; an everlasting reminder of the past she created and the present se may have ruined, was now plastered on her chest. A four leaf clover was forever branded right above her left breast. Where her heart lie, the unluckiest of clovers covered it up. If that was how he started, she didn't want to know how he planned to finish it. Obviously things were going to get worse. Would they ever get better?

"Why are you doing this? Why are you keeping me alive?" She asked defeated. There was never an answer to that question; at least not during that portion of their evening show. They were interrupted by Liam alerting him to the FBIs arrival and custody of Fahey.

"I know what you want." She told Doyle after Liam tried to convince him to take her out quickly so they could escape. It was never that easy though. "You want Lauren Reynolds back. I can do that. I can be her."

"You think that'll save your skin?"

"I have no illusions. But I'm tired of this… Of being afraid." He was eating it, and she would happily feed it. Any time she could buy would give her team time to find her, and since he'd yet to bring up Charlie she felt that was the best option. Liam, of course, had to add his two cents and ask about Fahey, but Ian shut him down assuring him it'd be taken care of.

Their role playing didn't last long. Her time doing the live action version of Lauren's memory was cut short when she decided to do the revisionist's history version and play off script. He didn't like that very much. "That's not how it went." He told her as he abruptly stood and walked up behind her. At first his touch was gentle like a lover but it quickly turned rough like the sadist he became. His mouth pressed up against her ear. "You really think I'd let you fool me twice?"

"I just wanted…"

"I know what you wanted. A way into my head. But I changed the locks. So you're going to suffer the way I suffered. This won't be the first time you killed an innocent, but it will be the first time you have to watch." He yelled for his partner in crime to return. And when he did, he came bearing visual aids.

The clear view through the sniper's rifle showed Emily the targets. On what appeared to be a roof, JJ and Rossi handled Fahey. "No! This was between you and me. That's what you said. You and me." She emphasized the point. It was between them and only them. That was why she was there alone; to keep them out of it.

"Then why is your team here? Because I didn't leave a trail."

"Ian." She pleaded. "Whatever you want to do to me, I accept. But leave them out of it."

"Yeah except I didn't bring them into it. Did I?" Her lip was quivering like a child on the verge of tears. Her stupidity and hope may have caused the death of her friends. And if she made it out of it alive, she'd have to live with that on her conscience for as long as she lived.

Listening to them go over their shooting options, Emily couldn't take it. She didn't want anyone to die, but at least he wasn't an innocent. They all knew it, she'd just voice it. "Shoot Fahey. If he dies my team doesn't have anything."

The evil grin that only he possessed took over Ian's face. "Hello Lauren. Good to see you again." Watching the shots being lined up and hearing the chatter on the walkie talkies, and the anticipation, it was all getting to her. If she was free to move she would've been sitting at the edge of her seat hoping they'd stay true to their word. No one else was supposed to get hurt, never mind die, but there she was, praying that the sniper had good aim and wouldn't put a bullet in JJ or Dave. It nearly killed her to watch and it truly did some damage to her psyche that she was actually responsible for Fahey's death. When the shots were actually taken and the sounds of the bullets exiting the chamber echoed in her ears, she tried to look away. Doyle wasn't having that. He held her head to watch the screen. A close up of the blood spatter from the first hit would stay with her forever. She was thankful Rossi reacted so quickly and pushed a stunned JJ to the ground, otherwise the second hit easily would've passed right through one of them.

It was cruel for him to make her watch, but it was all part of his game. If anyone asked him, he'd say she deserved it. And maybe, on some level, she'd have to agree. She deserved some of what she had coming to her, but the people in her life didn't. "Now that that's taken care of, we can get down to the rest of it." He took the seat he emptied earlier sitting across from her once again. "Your team's here, does that mean she's here too?"

"Who?" She knew the who he was referring to, but she'd avoid bringing her into it if she could help it.

"Don't play games with me." He hissed through clenched teeth. His hands constricting tightly around her arms, he leaned in closer to her. "Is our daughter here?"She shouldn't have been surprised by his thoughts, but she was. He wouldn't have come to that conclusion on his own, but she knew he knew about her little angel back home. She would never let him believe he was her father though, not even if it helped ease her situation.

"We don't have a daughter Ian." His grip just got tighter. Her truth just upset him further and she knew how he got when he was upset or things didn't go his way. But she was willing to accept any and all punishment if it diverted the conversation from Charlie. She wasn't his and she had no place in that fight.

"That's not what the pictures say."

"What pictures?" Were there more like the one he sent to her? What was in them? What did they show?

"I wasn't cooperating the way they wanted. So they showed me these pictures." He finally released her arms and moved to a table around them. "Look at these pictures." He fiercely said and held them up to her face. Staring at what she looked like as a corpse on the morgue slab wasn't easy. She remembered when those pictures were taken. The "accident" that killed her brought her there. "They showed me these telling me the woman I loved, the woman I wanted a life with, was dead. And that was only the beginning."

"What do you mean?" She was genuinely curious.

"If your death wasn't enough, they showed me these." The photos he flashed in front of her were different. They were surveillance pictures. Like a time line, it showed Charlie's early years in chronological order. The first few were of Emily at various stages of her pregnancy, only at points where she was in the states. But she remembered those days. The first one was taken just a few days after her hospital stay. Mike told her they should celebrate the pregnancy and not dwell on all the bad. "You're ok." He told her. "Let's buy the first baby onesie. It will help make it real." He was excited for her, and she was ecstatic too, even though it wasn't ideal circumstance. She vividly remembered teasing him, saying she thought she was the emotional girl, not him. Then she realized how they got the pictures. She convinced herself that there was no one watching, that the post case paranoia was only in her mind. But apparently the watchful eyes of big brother or whoever were really there. It wasn't in her head and because she was too stupid to follow her instincts, he knew about Charlie. The only thing she held onto was the fact that he might not know much. Not once did he mention her by name. And if he thought she was his daughter, he'd surely use it if he knew it instead of calling her a pronoun. So there was that, and she was cautiously optimistic about it. The less he knew the better it was. And luckily, for the most part, the pictures weren't close enough to clearly show the then toddler's face in the most recent pictures. "They told me she was mine."

"She's not." She was quick to interject that.

"Don't lie to me!" He took his then empty hands and squeezed her neck knocking her and the chair down in the process. Fighting for every bit of air she could inhale, she had no choice but to listen as the weight of his body heavily pressed against her. "Do you want to see what else they showed me?" When she didn't answer his hands grew firmer around her neck as if that helped the situation. "Do you?" He demanded an answer so she did her best to nod. To her relief, the action had its anticipated outcome. He released her neck and allowed her to gasp in all the air she could. Very gentlemanly compared to his previous actions, he helped her up. Her hands felt broken as the pressure the fall was released through her body. They weren't, but they certainly felt like they were. Her moment to regain any semblance of composure was cut short when he threw more photos at her. "Look at these." Even she was disturbed by the sight of them. Seeing her death was one thing, but seeing a child that looked remarkably like Charlie did at that age, lying dead and damaged on an autopsy table was truly unbearable. "Do you have any idea what it was like to be told you have a daughter and then see that. One minute I have everything I could've dreamed about, that little girl we always talked about having. The next they're telling me she's dead and they show me these. You were both dead to me."

"But we're not dead." Her voice was hoarse from the forming bruises on her neck.

"But they told me you were and they wouldn't even tell me her name. They just showed me a birth certificate with our names on it and hers blacked out. I don't even know her name. What's her name?" Emily didn't want to answer if she didn't have to. Her name would make her easier to find if he made it out there alive. And she didn't want things to be easy. "What's her name?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Of course it does love. What's her name?"

"She's not yours." She said quietly in hopes he wouldn't retaliate. No luck… His hand met her face with great force. The ring on his finger caught on her cheek tearing way at the flesh. Blood trailed down her porcelain skin.

"Stop your lying love. I saw it with my own eyes."

"She's not yours. That girl in the picture isn't even her. And your name is not on her birth certificate." He didn't hesitate to hit her again and again. It wasn't her face as much as the already bruised portions of her body. Her black and blue ribs seemed to be a favorite spot of his. It felt like every hit was his way of reiterating the point. He was going to win and she could only sit there and take it until she couldn't take it anymore.

"The only reason you're still breathing is because you know where she is and I can't find her." The words were venomous, but he took a calming breath. "But we'll start small. Tell me about her."

"There's nothing to tell. She's nothing to you."

"She's everything to me!" His voice was full of rage and his blue eyes held a burning fire. All he wanted was a few answers and she wouldn't even placate him. He had to escalate his game. He called for Liam to bring in his tools.

They spent what seemed like hours fighting. It was very one sided. She was still handcuffed and strapped to the chair, so there wasn't much she could do physically. But her verbal sword cut just as deep at times. She gave him things he already knew, but she didn't give him much else. There was nothing substantial shared and definitely nothing he asked was answered. He tried threatening her with a gun, literally pointing it at her head and begging her to tell him where "their" daughter was. The fact that she wasn't his just didn't penetrate his thick skull. "Just tell me her name." Nothing; she said nothing. "Just tell me our daughter's name! Do it, and I won't kill you."

The cocking of the gun and the clicking of the safety being released was enough for a few tears she'd been holding back to finally fall. "She's not yours. She'll never be yours. So you don't need to know anything about her." She was resigned to her fate. If she died, she'd die knowing she did whatever she could to protect the daughter she didn't get to spend nearly enough time with.

Her eyes sealed shut as the barrel was pressed hard against her temple waiting for her intellect to be turned into nothing more than brain matter on the wall. She was shocked when he pulled the trigger and nothing happened. Apparently, that gun was just for props. "Tell me where she is love. We'll go get her and spend the rest of time together. I won't kill you."

"No, you'll just keep me chained in a room like a prisoner."

"Where did you send her?" He asked again ignoring her previous response.

"I'm never going to tell you Ian. She'll never be with you, neither of us will. My daughter is not your daughter. You are not her father."

"Liar!" He yelled as he grabbed something off the table that she didn't even have time to identify. Before she had anytime to even react, a jolt of electricity was sent like shock waves through every appendage. The unexpectedness and agonizing jerk was enough to extract a full fledged scream. He enjoyed that more than he should have. But she was just being so insolent and he couldn't help it. She deserved it after everything she put him through. A little pain was the least she should've suffered through. "Are you ready to play along yet?"

"No."

"Just tell me where she is. Tell me where you sent her while you played detective and followed my breadcrumbs. And when I find her, I might not poison her mind against you. She'll just think you died. She won't ever have to know what a manipulative, lying bitch you were."

"I'm not going to tell you anything Ian. My daughter will know her father one day, but she'll never know you. You'll just be a boogeyman from a rough time in her life. That's all you'll ever be. I'm not going to give you anything."

"That's alright love. We'll do this another way." What did he mean by that? Her face displayed her confusion. If he had another way, why was he torturing her? Why didn't he just do whatever it was and be done with it? He disappeared from her line of sight for a few moments.

Returning, he waved her phone in front of her face. She must've forgotten to leave it in the car when she went to confront him. "What's that?" She was trying to play dumb with no real hope of it working.

"I found this when we moved you. I figured it might come in handy if you decided to be uncooperative."

"And how's that?"

"There's only one number on here."

"So?"

"And I asked myself, 'who would be the one person she'd have to call; the one person she couldn't live without talking to?'" She knew where he was taking it, but she had to play the part.

"What's your point?"

"The only person I could think of was her."

"And? You're what, going to call her and hope she answers? It's not her and she wouldn't talk to you even if it was."

"I don't know about that. Maybe we should find out."

"No!"

"Why not love? Doesn't she deserve to meet her daddy?"

"She does, but you're not him."

"Let's see what she thinks. Shall we?" He ignored her adamant protests. Her cries fell on deaf ears as he hit send and began the call. "It's ringing." He taunted as he put the phone on speaker.

"Mommy?" The sound of her voice was like heaven. He dreamed about the way she'd speak to him, the way she'd call him daddy. He imagined her every night of his incarceration. And not once did it amount to the same feeling of sheer joy that came from the real thing. Her voice was magic no matter what she said.

"What's your name?" He was begging for any details. But before he could even hope for an answer, he noticed Emily about to say something. He quickly covered her mouth with his hand and whispered, "No, no love. Daddy's trying to have a conversation."

On the other side of the phone, the little girl was lost, confused as to who was calling. "You're not my mommy." She said as Garcia did as Hotch asked and traced the untraceable. Disposable cell phones were a bitch that way. And while they probably wouldn't get an exact location, they might just get an area small enough to get them closer to finding her. So there was some hope in the perceived hopelessness. After hearing Charlie, Clyde quickly put the phone on speaker so the rest of them could listen in and look for any clues should technical tactics fail.

"No, mommy's all tied up." They could hear faint murmurs in the background and his slight movements, but nothing distinctive. "You little bitch!" They heard him yell. Emily bit his finger when he took his eyes off of her. Leaving his hand unattended had been a mistake, but Emily wasn't one to pass up opportunity. And since her mouth was free, she took it.

"Hang up the phone!" She desperately pleaded. "Hang up the phone baby."

The team had been so happy to hear her voice. It meant she was still alive and it wasn't too late, but it was hard to miss the panic in her tone. She was a fighter, they knew that, and that could easily make things worse in the long run. "Mommy? Mommy is that you?"

"No, mommy's busy right now." He turned to Emily, taser in hand and pointed. "Aren't you love?" Without so much as a second thought or any consideration for the ripe age of the child to whom he was speaking and forcing to bear witness to his heinous acts, he pulled the trigger.

"Agh… Ah." They heard Emily's blood curdling cries and did their best to shield Charlie from it. It was a pointless effort. Garcia practically froze like a statue as she was forced to listen to the screams she couldn't quell. Her friend was in pain and she couldn't help. She didn't understand how the child must've felt. It was that moment that she hoped for the like mother kike daughter scenario and Charlie could compartmentalize like a pro.

"Mommy?" She asked again as tears poured from her eyes. Why was her mom screaming? What was happening? "Mommy, are you ok?"

Hearing the need to know that her mother was ok, Doyle made an effort to placate her. "Mommy's just fine. Right love?" When she didn't answer he threatened her again, jerking the loaded gun towards her face. "Tell her you're fine." When the clicks sounded again, she knew he was serious.

"I'm fine. I'm fine." The entire team took a collective breath of relief, but they didn't like the urgency in which she spoke. Quieter than when she was talking to Charlie, Emily spoke to Ian. "Why are you doing this? I told you everything you need to know. She's not a part of this, so just leave her alone. She's not yours. She'll never be yours."

"Stop talking." He insisted.

Morgan and Rossi along with the rest of them listened closely to the hushed conversation as JJ tried to soothe Charlie who wanted nothing more than to have her mother there with her. "She's antagonizing him." Morgan told them.

"She's buying time so we can try and find her." Clyde offered.

"And how would you know that?" Morgan was mad that she trusted the dimwitted Brit but not her own team. Who was that guy? Who did he think he was?

"Because she knows if the phone's still working we're still in the states and she knows I'm looking for her."

"Whatever." They all fell back into silence as they listened to the rest of the fight.

"You need to stop this Ian. No one's going to tell you her name. No one's going to tell you where she is. No one is going to tell you anything. Because you're a terrorist and you're nothing to her. You'll never see her." She just kept rambling. She didn't know what she was trying to achieve. Maybe she was hoping she'd get shot and he would never be able to find Charlie or learn anything at all about her. Obviously his contacts weren't as strong as they used to be otherwise he would've found someone good enough to hack into her records and at the very least find her name. But he couldn't even do that. So she was the last stop on the information train and getting Charlie out of the line was the best decision she ever made.

"That's enough." He fired a warning shot. Everyone, once again, stopped what they were doing and waited with bated breath to find out if that was the end. Did he hit her? Was she dead? They dreaded the answer because there was a very real chance she was. "Keep your mouth shut or next time the bullet will be in your head." She lucked out that time. It was a warning shot and only grazed her shoulder, but she'd be fine. Unless she didn't do what he wanted…

The team still hadn't heard Emily speak again and Charlie was getting restless. Like her mother, she didn't stay down long. Backing away from JJ, she walked closer to the phone. "Can I talk to my mommy please?" She didn't know what was going on, but she did know her mom was in danger and she needed to be comforted. She needed to know Emily is ok.

"She's busy. You can talk to me love. Why don' you tell me your name?"

"I'm Charlie. Is she ok? Can I come see her?" Everyone wanted to get Charlie away. She didn't need to be more involved in the situation than she already was, but knowing her or not, they knew Emily and if they were anything alike, she wouldn't back away just because they asked her to. She was in it whether they wanted her there or not.

"Charlie eh? That's a pretty name." He gloated as he looked at a beaten and bruised Emily. All Emily could think was, 'So much for not knowing her name.' "Your mom is just fine and she wants to see you too. She wants you to tell me where you are so we can come get you."

"I want to talk to my mom!"

"Talk to her." He whispered to Emily. "Don't try anything. Just get her to tell me where she is."

"No."

"Do it." She didn't want to, but maybe she could use the speaking time to her advantage. Obviously they were still in the country or the phone would be shut off while they were on a plane, so she wanted to find out what she could.

"Hi Charlie." There was no controlling the shakiness of her voice. Everyone, especially Hotch, Clyde and JJ, were hanging on to every word of the exchange looking for any clue, anything to tell them where she was.

"Hi mommy. I miss you. When are you coming home?"

"I miss you so much, but I don't know when I'm coming home. Is Clyde still with you?"

"Yeah he's here. I met them mommy. I met them all. They're really nice to me." In that moment, she was so proud of her little angel. She unknowingly told her everything she needed to know. She was safe with her team. The team she had kept so many secrets from was protecting the biggest secret of them all. And that was all she needed. She was willing to risk her next move in hopes she'd make it home safe. They were looking for her. Clyde was there. She had to try it. The worst that could happen was making the inevitable come a little early, but if it meant there was a chance the inevitable would be diverted, she was going to take it.

"Tell him to take you to the underground playhouse and sing you the sparrow's song."

Doyle griped the back of her neck and leaned in. He whispered, "Don't play games. Get her to tell you where she is and to ditch the bodyguard. We'll deal with Clyde later. I've been looking for him, but it seems he was in hiding."

"I don't know what that is. Is it in Boston because that's where we are?" Neglecting the anger that was rising because Clyde brought her to a dangerous soon to be crime scene, Emily tried to pull herself together so she wouldn't give any more of her exact location away. Charlie, on the other hand, didn't know what she said or what Emily was saying, but Clyde did. People saw the recognition in his face as he whispered into Charlie's ear. "Why would I say that?" She asked too quiet for the phone to pick up.

"Just do it, your mom will understand." How could she refuse that?

"Is that where you saw the eagle land?" He understood. He'd help. Everything would be ok. She hoped, and hoping was about all she could do. At least she put some clues out there, though she felt she was running out of time. Doyle was getting impatient and angry, and her not playing the rules wasn't helping any

"Yes."

"Can you come with us? Can I come see you?"

Before Emily could respond, Doyle squeezed just a little tighter and said, "See, she wants to come with us. Now get her exact coordinates. Now!"

"Mom, are you still there?"

"Do it!" He yelled in her ear taking the phone off speaker and shoving it by her face. "Quickly."

"Gli non dica qualche cosa Charlie. Ti amo. Ricordi sempre quello." Charlie knew Italian. Emily was trying to teach her as much of that and French as she could, and the girl was as much a natural as her mother. But Doyle knew French, so she had to use Italian.

"That is not what you were supposed to say." The fury was building. He didn't know what she said, but he knew it wasn't conducive. "Now say goodbye."

"Bye Charlie." And that was the last she would say to her daughter. His anger was at an all time high and, without warning, he snatched the phone, threw it to the ground, and shot it. Pieces scattered all over the cemented ground in a mosaic pattern. And thus, the final battle began.

Back at the temporary headquarters, things were a little bit tense. The last thing they heard was a boom and a gunshot and then nothing. They were getting radio silence. Anything could have happened. Emily could've been dead. She could've been injured. It could've been a ploy. It could've been anything.

"Garcia, tell me you got something." Morgan said.

"The signal's completely lost. I couldn't get an exact location. That takes time and we didn't have enough."

"So we have nothing?" Rossi asked.

"I didn't say that."

"Then what do we have Garcia? We need to find her." Impatience was welling in everybody. Time was a virtue they could not possess.

"These kinds of phones are hard if not impossible to trace, however, if you're a computer whiz like me, you can get an approximate location. I managed to peg the call on a few cell towers so we have an eight mile radius, give or take."

"We need to narrow that down." Hotch told everyone as he huddled them up away from Charlie who, by some miracle named JJ, calmed down enough to be left to her own devices. And by devices they meant a pen and paper for her to draw while they figured things out. "Rossi?"

"Yeah Hotch."

"That last thing she said was in Italian right? She might have said something important."

"Yeah, it was Italian, but I didn't catch it all. All I got was "I love you and remember. I was trying to focus on the background to see if that gave us anything. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. JJ, does she know Italian?"

"I'm pretty sure she knows French too."

"Get her to tell you what Emily said."

"Ok." She looked to see if Charlie was where she left her and called her over.

"Yes JJ? Did you find my mom?"

"Not yet, but we're working on it. We need to know what mommy said to you."

"But you were listening."

"I know, but I don't speak Italian. Can you tell me the last thing she said?"

"She told me not to tell him anything and that I have to remember she loves me… Always." Like she knew he was the one in charge, Charlie turned to Hotch and said, "Mommy's coming home right? I'm going to see her soon?"

"I'm going to get her home to you." Those soulful eyes so much like her mother's just pulled at his heartstrings.

"Do you promise?" Was that a promise he could really make? Was it one he could bare not to keep?

"I promise. Why don't you go back to drawing and one of us will come see you in a few minutes." Charlie solemnly nodded before departing and Hotch went back into business mode. "Clyde?"

"I was waiting for you to get to me." It just wouldn't be him without some kind of remark.

"What do you mean?"

"You want to know about that remark she said no?"

"Yeah, if it's helpful." He thought that would've been obvious; apparently he was wrong.

"On one of our undercover missions in London we had to pose as benefactors for this theatre. That's not relevant. What is, is that during that mission some things went wrong and I ended up chained in an underground wine cellar. She was trying to tell us that wherever she is, she's in something like that. Can you search the area eliminating all places that don't have a cellar of some sort?"

"My hands are at your service. Ok that didn't come out right. The all knowing Penelope Garcia is at your every beck and call. That's better." The clacking of her fingers began as the rest of them brainstormed a little more.

"What about that last part?" Reid asked. "What about the Sparrow and why did you tell Charlie to answer like that?"

"Sparrow was her way of telling us she was in danger and that time is of the utmost importance. Eagle is a way of telling her we're doing what we can and to hold on until we're able to get there."

"How bad do things have to be for her to use that?"

"She only used it one other time."

"Which was?"

"To tell me Doyle had escaped and sent her some things."

"He sent her stuff?"

"Multiple gifts were received." They were going to pursue the issue further, but Garcia interrupted.

"Ok, I've narrowed it down, but not by much. We need more."

"Eliminate anything in residential areas. Focus mainly on abandoned buildings and areas of high foreclosure rates."

"Yes, Doyle always did prefer his privacy."

"Let's take this from another angle."

"And what's that sir?"

"It has to be far enough and secluded enough so no one would see them there."

"So it has to be big enough to house a small army. That's weapons, supplies… Let's see that means it has its own perimeter. I've got it. I've got it!"

"Send me the address and have everyone in the conference room. JJ you stay behind with Garcia and the kid."

The boys left to get their safety get up and prepare for their final briefing as the girls hung back. Garcia and JJ were both worried about Charlie and discussing the whole situation. The little girl she had just met already garnered Garcia's praises. She was resilient and smart; strong like her mother, but that didn't keep anyone from worrying.

"Do you think she's going to be ok?" Garcia asked pointing to Charlie.

"She's going to be fine. She's a lot like Emily when it comes to that."

"How come she didn't tell us? Why didn't she tell me? When did you even find out?"

"I found out at the birthday party. I was shocked, but Emily invited us over the next day and explained a few things."

"Can you explain a few things to me?"

"I wish I could, but I'm still looking for answers myself. You'll have to wait and get them from her. She wanted to tell you herself."

"Then why didn't she?"

"She will."

"What if she doesn't get the chance?"

"She will."

"So you keep saying…" They continued with some mindless banter as they awaited word on Emily. Anything was better than thinking about the what ifs and sad endings. They had to distract each other.

"Excuse me." They didn't even know she had moved until her little voice put an end to their conversation.

"Hey, what is it Charlie?" JJ asked.

Charlie simply turned to Garcia and asked, "Are you an oracle?" It was the first genuine smile they had all day.

"Do you know what an oracle is?"

"It means you're magic and see things." JJ was amused by the conversation, and even more so by Garcia's face. She was so confused.

"It does mean something like that."

"Mommy told me stories about oracle Penelope and her magic computer. She can find anything and see all. Is that you?" Garcia didn't know if she should be flattered, but she was. Even if Emily didn't tell them about her, she told her about them. Mythically of course, but she still told her and that meant a lot to the analyst.

Garcia looked up to JJ with a questioning look and her only response was a shrug. "Well my name is Penelope, so it could be me. We'll have to ask Emily when she gets home." She chose to remain optimistic. That was her nature and the only way she knew to survive the world the FBI exposed her to. So she and JJ would sit there and occupy the child, pretending that all was right with the world and her mother wasn't in mortal danger. That was what needed to be done, for their sake and hers.

The other agents, meanwhile, were preparing to head to the warehouse. Hotch was leading them with instructions to follow. This was their time. "Agent Prentiss is the only friendly in the building. Rescuing her is our primary objective."

"Our only advantage here is stealth. Once they know we're on sight there's nothing stopping them from killing her. So we keep it quiet until we get to her." There were another few minutes before they wrapped it up and made their way to Adam's Street. On their way out of the building, Clyde stopped him/

"Bring her home safe." Clyde told Aaron as the SWAT guys and the rest of the team loaded into their cars. He couldn't go; some sort of international law stuff and technically he was in their custody. But there in mind or body, he was just making his thoughts known. "Her daughter needs her."

"I'm going to do everything I can." And, in a rare moment, Clyde believed him and let him leave the premises.

It didn't take long for the teams to get into position. Soon after that the first shots were fired and the sentries at the door were dead on the ground. They were going in, raging a quiet war. Inside, however, was a heated battle. Ian was upset. They'd been arguing and he'd been torturing for the past however long, and she couldn't take it anymore. Everything they talked about seemed to come back to Charlie and she was done with it. Half of the stuff that came out of her mouth wasn't well thought out. And she had no idea what the last trigger was, but that was it.

He got so angry that he ripped her right from her seat and threw her against the wall effectively pinning her. "I won Ian. This is it. This is all you'll ever have."

"Shut up." Like a rag doll he abused, Doyle held her by her collar before tossing her to the ground. There were even a few good kicks to her abdomen so she didn't have a chance to catch her breath. Somehow during their encounter her hands ended up in front of her, still handcuffed, but it made the fall easier. Instead of landing face first, she had her hands to lessen the impact. But that didn't make the constant blows any better. "Where would she be? Where would Clyde take her?" He was getting desperate as he worked his last ditch effort. All he wanted was some insight on where he might find his daughter so he could take care of Emily and go and retrieve her. It didn't matter how many times he heard Emily say that Charlie was in no way related to him, his mind was set.

"You really want to know where she is?"

"Tell me." He stopped his attack and pulled her to her feet. He couldn't believe she was actually going to tell him, but he was more than willing to listen. Emily was pulled close to him, but his grip wasn't all that tight and she used his flaccidity to her advantage. And in his moment of weakness, she turned the tables managing to get behind him, her hands around his neck with the chain chocking him like a garrote and a swift kick to the kidneys to force him to the ground.

"You made two huge mistakes Ian. One was underestimating my team. Since you told me they had Fahey, I've been stalling you." The lights went out, the power was cut. It was just enough of a distraction for Doyle to get out from her hold, or attempt to.

Leveraging himself off the ground, he forced her back into the table. The force of their weight caused it to collapse under them. A power struggle ensued as they grappled a bit. But free enough, Emily grabbed the first thing she could find. Taking the splintered stake of a table leg, Emily aimed it like a bat and just let loose. Her body was aching and the physicality of their fight didn't leave much strength. She managed a few blows to the head before she just couldn't find it in her to take another swing and dropped it to the ground. That was her mistake.

She let her guard down when she thought he was unconscious and didn't even see it coming. Her entire system was shocked by the pain he inflicted. How did he do it? He was unconscious. How he'd managed to stab her with the very tool she just used was beyond her. "Emily." He said as he crawled over to where her falling body hit land.

"I beat you." She said slightly out of breath. They could hear the rapid succession of a machine gun going off somewhere in the building. It would all be over soon. "It's over. She's safe."

"Emily." He pleaded. "Tell me where she is."

"No." He knew if he wanted to make it out alive he had to go. There was no time to waste and he wasn't going to get the answers from a corpse. And to him, that was, essentially, what Emily was. If she didn't get help as soon as possible, she was dead.

Doyle could hear the marching of footsteps coming toward them. He needed to leave. And just as Morgan and several fellow officers made their way into the room, he took off. "I got her." He rushed to her side speaking clearly into his mic. "I got her in the basement on the south side. I need a medic down here. Doyle took off. He's heading your way." The rest of the men he came in with went chasing after the enemy as he attended to his friend and colleague. As much as he wanted to take out Doyle himself, beating the man who put his friend through so much hurt until he begged for his life with his last breath, at that moment he didn't care. The only thing that mattered was the woman lying on the ground bleeding to death. "Prentiss." Her eyes were closed and she was unmoving. He needed to get her attention; keep her alert. As he leaned closer, his hand went right for hers, the other right by her wound.

"Morgan?" That voice was instantly recognizable. She fought to open her eyes and face him.

"Hey, it's me. I'm right here." His voice was laced with emotion. There was no controlling it. "You're going to be alright." He could see her fading, her head tilting, and her eyes closing. "Stay with me baby. Come one stay with me." His panic grew as he watched her fight with all she had.

"Let me go." Every word was a harsher strain on her body. She didn't know how much longer she could fight.

"No! No. I am not letting you go." Both hands migrated to hers, gripping the cuffed limbs like a lifeline. She wasn't winning her fight. "Help me!" His screams filled the otherwise silent room. "Listen to me. I know why you did all of this. I know what you did for us, for Charlie. I am so proud of you." Her eyes opened just more than a squint as she stared at him all teary eyed. "Do you understand that? That I am proud of you because you are my friend and you are my partner." It killed him to watch her continue to fade. "No Emily. Come on stay with me! If you can hear me please just squeeze my hand." He waited for a response and he got it. She didn't open her eyes, but her tired appendage managed a weak grip. "Yes, there. There you go baby. Just keep squeezing."

The words came out slightly slurred and quiet, but he heard her. "Tell her… I love her." And that was it. Her hands went limp and there was no more movement. He pleaded with her to stay with him, to fight for him, the team, and most importantly Charlie. He didn't even know the medics came until they were forcibly removing him from her side so they could work.

Nothing was making sense as they rushed to get her into the ambulance, Morgan following close behind. His mind was reeling and he couldn't tell left from right. He barely understood when he bypassed all the others and tried to ride with them in the ambulance. "I'm sorry, but you can't ride with us."

"Why not?" They didn't have time for this. He needed to be with her not arguing about it.

"There's no room and we need to work." It bothered him, but he accepted that answer and went looking for Hotch as the ambulance left sirens blasting. In the midst of all the chaos he almost forgot about Doyle's escape attempt. That was, until he came across his dead body covered in blood just like Emily's had been. Only, she was going to make it. He had to keep telling himself that.

A hand on his shoulder startled him. He turned around to face Hotch. "He's gone. He can't hurt her anymore." He hoped that was true, they all did, but the truth was that he may have hurt her more than anyone could help.

"What happened?" Morgan was still partially dazed and wanted to get to the hospital, but he needed answers too.

"We cut him off after you told us he was escaping. He went to reach for, what we believed to be, a weapon and we took the shot." There was no weapon. Doyle just made the wrong move and he paid the price.

"It's over."

"It's over. Now let's let the other officers handle this. We need to be at the hospital." Hotch needed to be there. He didn't blink when taking the shot at Doyle and neither did Rossi, but a part of him enjoyed it. It wasn't that he enjoyed the thrill, because taking a life is never thrilling, not for the sane, but he felt like he was vindicated. That was his way of protecting her, of saving her when he couldn't be in the cellar with her. Now he just had to hope his efforts weren't too little too late.

The girls and Clyde arrived at the hospital before the men. They were sitting in the Bostonian version of a bullpen in the middle of the night just waiting for any news. Charlie worried herself to sleep in one of the uncomfortable chairs. A stoic Clyde draped his jacket over her and watched her like she'd get lost if he didn't, like his life depended on it. And if anyone asked Emily, it did. JJ was pacing and constantly looking at her phone for the call, almost willing it to come. And Garcia was scouring the local police blotter for any information at all. If an ambulance was in route, she'd be the first of them to know it. When she heard the noise, she let out a quiet whimper. She didn't think that anyone would hear, but the room was so still the tiniest change alerted all, and suddenly, all eyes were on her.

"Oh god." Her first instinct, as would all of theirs be, was to run out of the station and speed straight to the hospital. But she couldn't do that. There were others to think about. A child's mother's life was on the line and that child just happened to be in the room with her. She couldn't raise alarm.

"What is it Pen?" JJ moved closer, anxiety written in every feature.

"They're taking her to the h-o-s-p-i-t-a-l." She spelled it out as she watched the little girl wake from her not so pleasant slumber.

"She can spell Garcia." A comment like that should've lightened the mood, but there just wasn't a way to break the tension. "How bad is it?" JJ asked quietly.

"I don't know. I don't know! They're rushing her in now. That's all I know. We need to get there."

"And Doyle?" Clyde inserted himself into the conversation. He had just as much right, if not more so, to know about Emily and everything else.

As if on cue, their cells went off. JJ was getting a call from Rossi as Garcia was receiving a text from Morgan. Her poor chocolate god couldn't even bring himself to use the phone. He didn't trust his voice. "Apparently he's d-e-a-d." Yes, Charlie could spell, but that didn't mean she had to hear the ugly words.

"Who's dead?" Charlie snuck up from behind yet again.

"Uh?" Garcia looked around in hopes someone else would answer. JJ was still on the phone just far enough to be out of range and Clyde was Clyde. "The bad guy."

"Does that mean mom can come home now?" Did it? None of them had the answer. And by the look on JJ's face when she returned the chances of that answer being yes weren't looking great.

"What did he have to say?" They decided to ignore the child's question. There was no right answer and at that particular time, there was no answer at all.

She shook her head in attempt to let Garcia know that it wasn't the place to talk, not in front of the kid. "JJ…" Charlie tugged on her shirt to get the attention. "They said the bad guy's gone. Can we go see mommy now?"

JJ really didn't want to have this conversation, but neither of the others was filled in yet and they all just wanted to get to the hospital, so the responsibility fell on her shoulders. She kneeled and looked into Charlie's eyes. "Your mom got hurt and she's at the hospital."

"So we can go see her at the hospital?" Her voice was so hopeful that it was painful for the others to hear.

"Listen Charlie." Clyde stepped in. It didn't take his profiling skills to know that the news wasn't good. "Mommy got injured very badly. We don't know how badly yet. But we are all going to drive to the hospital and as soon as you can, one of us will take you to see her."

Pushing the tears back and singing the sniffles, Charlie said, "Promise?"

"I do." He looked to the other adults who nodded in appreciation for taking the lead before giving his next set of directions. "Go get your bag so we can go."

The entire family, both of blood and friends, took over the hospital waiting room. Hours had passed since they were told they were rushing her to surgery. They feared she wasn't stable enough and wanted to wait, but circumstances wouldn't allow for that. They needed to get her in the operating room as soon as she got in and the tests they needed were done. The hours passed like days. The only information they were able to get was what they told them as they took her to surgery. There were no explanations of injuries or any detail sharing at all. The only thing they had to go on was what Morgan told them and none of them liked what they heard.

The last few days were weighing heavily on all of them. It felt like the events of a year were squeezed into the span of mere hours. Everyone was anxious and tired, but sleep was a luxury they found really hard to come by. The only person who could actually sleep was Charlie. And that was only possible because ever since Emily made her go with Clyde, she barely got any solid sleep so she was more than overtired. Add to that the day's stress and her not really understanding the gravity of the situation, but knowing enough to know it was bad, and she was tuckered out. JJ and Clyde took turns sitting with her to get her to calm and rest. Eventually, by the wee hours of the morning, they got her to sleep curled up in Clyde's arms. She really had no idea what they were facing. None of them really did.

The rest of them were just as anxiety ridden. Hotch was being his rocklike self and keeping all emotions to himself. JJ found him staring at Charlie more than once. He was worried about her too. He still didn't know why, he thought maybe it was her resemblance to Emily, but he cared about the girl. It only took one brief encounter and he cared about her just as much as he cared about her mom. But feeling that just made him feel more useless because there was nothing he could do. He, along with the others, was simply an audience member to the play of life. But he made himself a promise. No matter what happened, he'd do whatever he could for both Prentiss women. They all would. And in the meantime, they took over the waiting room. Clyde held the dear child like that would in some way help his friend. He'd seen many people hurt and he knew he'd see it again, but he didn't think it'd ever be Emily. He felt he was handling himself rather well. He'd have to keep it together for Charlie because he didn't know the rest of them well enough to know how they'd be around her especially in such a high stress situation. Watching the group, he didn't think they were doing so great. Reid's head was buried in his hands like he was deep in emotional thought. Garcia was in tears leaning in to find comfort in Morgan who looked like he was itching to do something. His leg was shaking and he kept rubbing his hand over his head like it made things better. And then there was Rossi who stood unmoving, hands crossed, and leaning against the wall. JJ, like him, was observing and waiting, just trying to keep herself collected.

It was early morning, the sun was starting to shine through the floor to ceiling windows, and they were all tired of waiting. JJ, through consensus of the group, was about to go ask for any update at all. How long could surgery take? Was no news good news? She, they, needed to know something, anything, and she couldn't sit there and listen to the quiet cries of the child calling out for her mother any longer. And just as she was about to find a nurse or anybody who could give her what she needed, a scrubs clad doctor came walking in.

"Family of Emily Prentiss?"

"That's us." JJ practically leapt in front of him, the other adults following suit. The look on the doctor's face as he opened his mouth to speak spoke volumes. They weren't going to like what they heard.

**My fight scenes could use a little work, but other than that, I'm pleased with this chapter and hope you all are as well. Next chapter will pick up where this leaves off. It's a little bit of a cliffhanger, but there's no harm in that.**

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**


	10. Twenty Four Hours to a Lifetime

Chapter 10: Twenty Four Hours to a Lifetime

The doctor had told them that Emily was brought in, in a state they called critical condition. She was losing a massive amount of blood at a rapid pace and they had to repair everything as best they could as quickly as they could so they could get her stable enough for tests and surgery. At first they weren't positive she'd need to be operated on, but that was an optimistic view and it was more than chance that she did, especially if the internal bleeding they suspected showed on the tests. Obviously it was more than chance because she was lying on the table with scalpels and hands in her body doing god knows what for hours. They were informed that there was a substantial amount of internal bleeding, but, luckily, the impaled object missed all major organs. That was really the only good piece of news they'd received.

"But how is she?"JJ asked.

"Just shoot it to us straight doc. Is gum drop going to be ok?" The doctor, whose name they learned was Dr. Dillon, was a little taken back by her bluntness. But it wasn't anything he hadn't handled before and with it being only 6:30 in the morning after what undoubtedly was a rough and incredibly long night, he understood the slight attitude.

"Right now we have her on a respirator to help her breathe until she's strong enough to do it on her own." Each of them was clinging to his every word just hoping to find some ray of light in all the darkness. "We managed to relieve the tension pneumothorax by inserting a chest tube. We went in and cauterized the extensive bleeding. The physical trauma caused a laceration to the spleen which we also repaired. She's being treated with an aggressive amount of IV fluids and transfusions to replenish her blood supply and ward off infection. Right now what we're most worried about is the cerebral edema or swelling in the brain. Worst case scenario, the increased intracranial pressure can lead to brain death. However, the oxygen therapy she's receiving through the ventilator will, hopefully, give the brain the oxygen it needs to survive and we've started her on numerous medications in hopes of correcting the problem. The goal is to avoid more surgery." The group was lost. How could one person endure so much? The doctor understood their pain and sympathized. It was a lot to take in, but he needed to give them the basic information. He needed to prepare them. She may have survived the initial trauma and surgery, but it wasn't over yet. There was plenty more fighting that needed to be done. "All things considered, she's doing about as well as we could hope for. As of now, her BP is holding and her pulse rate is stable, but the next twenty four hours are crucial. She will be closely monitored."

"But she's going to be ok?" All that and they still didn't get an exact answer. They were all thinking that; only Hotch asked.

"She's stable and in Recovery. We'll move her down to the ICU in about forty five minutes. I'll have someone take you down there once the room's ready and then you can all visit with her."

"That doesn't answer the question though."

"I'm sorry. I can't give you a definitive answer just yet. Twenty four hours is key. We'll know more after that. Right now we just have to focus on the fact that she's stable and hope for the best. After that, we just have to hope she wakes up." Heads shot up. What did he mean hope she wakes up? She was going to wake up. Wasn't she? She had to. They wanted to ask, push the topic further, but none of them could. They just stared; most afraid of what they'd hear if they did ask.

"Thank you." Hotch managed the first spoken thought after a moment of eerie silence. None of them knew just how to respond to the thought of their friend actually dying; not making it through the next day or that she might not wake up. And if she did wake up, would she be the same? Would there be permanent damage? How were they supposed to react to that? They couldn't, so they didn't.

After the doctor left, they all returned to their previous positions. Clyde had laid Charlie down on one of the benches when the doctor came to speak with them. She needed her sleep and she really didn't need to hear the news. They'd tell her what they needed to when they needed to. At that moment, Charlie just needed her rest. She needed to be taken care of. JJ and Clyde had taken on a very protective role when it came to the girl that lay between them. It was almost like they were temporarily playing mommy and daddy. Suddenly, that conversation she had with Emily was making so much more sense. The will was obviously something she deemed necessary, and she might've been right. And if things took a turn for the worse, she wouldn't just be playing mommy. But she didn't want to think about that yet. No one should have to act as Charlie's mother other than Emily. With that thought in combination with the news the doctor gave them, JJ found herself clutching her purse. The envelope Emily left her was safely tucked away in there. She wanted to read it, but she couldn't bring herself to actually do it… Not yet, because if the past few days were any indication of what was written, she just couldn't read it. She wasn't ready to give up or read a goodbye.

Lost in thought, JJ hadn't even heard Morgan take the seat next to her. "How you holding up?"

"I'm not the one you should be worried about." She said while absentmindedly stroking her hand through Charlie's chocolate locks. It was something she'd do with Henry after a rough day. It soothed him and kept him from having nightmares. She hoped it worked for the girl too because they all knew she could use anything to keep the dreams away and the sleep peaceful.

"I'm worried about everyone." He looked over to the sleeping child and couldn't help but feel that Emily was in that room with them. Looking at Charlie was like looking at her mother, a part of her right there with them as she fought the good fight. And for some reason, that gave him comfort. It made him feel like no matter what happened, a part of her would always stay with them. But nothing compared to the real thing. So he looked forward to getting to know her daughter, with Emily there. "How do you think she's doing?"

"She's a little fighter, but it's hard to know what she's thinking from one minute to the next. Sometimes she's so easy to read and then it's like she's a book written in a foreign language."

"So what you're saying is that she's her mother's daughter."

"She is." They both just stared at the girl again, hoping to find the solace they sought. "Emily asked me to take care of her." JJ said quietly as she somberly turned to face Derek.

"What do you mean?"

"It seemed so random at the time. She was acting strange. We all saw it, but we never questioned it. And then she just came up to me during break and asked me to take custody of Charlie if anything ever happened."

"And what did you say?"

"I asked her why she was asking me and if that was what she really wanted. She told me I was the only person she could think of for the job. So I agreed. I didn't think much of it, and I was going to talk to her about it more, but when I finally wrapped my head around everything, she was gone. So I let it go. She said she updated her will every year so it was routine."

"But it wasn't routine."

"I guess not. I just want her to be ok. I want to go back and get her to tell me what was wrong. Maybe then we wouldn't be here worried about whether or not she'll get to see her daughter graduate the first grade."

"Me too JJ, me too. But you can't blame yourself. We all knew something was off, and some of us talked to her about it. She didn't want us to know. There wasn't anything we could do." He wrapped a hand around her shoulder and pulled her close into a friendly half embrace. That was all they could do to pass the time until someone came to take them to their friend. That and pace, but where did pacing really get anyone but back to the same spot they started?

They were getting antsy as over an hour had passed and no one came to get them. It made them nervous. Did something happen? Was Emily still ok? And if she was, what was taking so long? And then all questioning ceased when a nurse walked up to them.

"Just follow me and I'll take you down to Agent Prentiss' room." The nurse kindly waited as they gathered their belongings and readied to move. JJ, however, had a little more to deal with and turned to Charlie who had yet to wake.

"Charlie, sweetie, I need you to wake up."

"Mommy?" She asked as she shifted positions, her eyes still blurry from sleep.

"No, it's JJ."

"Oh." The disappointment wasn't unexpected, but hard nonetheless. If it could've been Emily waking her up, JJ would've gladly given the job back to its rightful owner. "Is mommy ok now?"

"Your mom is still very, very hurt, but they're going to let us go and see her."

"They are?" And there was the, soon to be, short lived excitement. She didn't get how badly wounded Emily was and they didn't know how to tell her when they couldn't fathom the idea themselves. But, judging by the way Charlie practically jumped out of her chair, they'd have to face the music soon. "Let's go! Can we go now?"

"Yes, we can go now. Grab your monkey. I've got your bag." JJ held out her hand and waited for it to be filled before they followed the rest of the group to the fourth floor ICU. Room 435 housed their friend as the staff helped nurse her back to health.

But the woman they saw in front of them was not their friend. She was not their family. She wasn't even Emily. She was a paler, sickly, damaged version of herself and no one knew how to stomach it. There were tubes and wires separating her from life and death. Monitors gave off readings emitting a steady pulse. Beep… Beep… Beep… Like an annoying reminder that it could change at any moment, it just continued to release that low, consistent beep every so often. But even that sound was muffled by the continuous resonance of the ventilator manually inhaling and exhaling for the patient. That's what she was reduced to; a patient. They didn't think the sight could get more heartbreaking. They were wrong.

"Mommy." Charlie gently shook her mother's shoulder as she further approached the bed. "Mommy, wake up." But she wouldn't, and all the grown-ups in the room just looked at her with sad eyes. But she turned to them anyways. "Why won't she wake up? What are all these things?" No one knew how to answer. No one knew how to tell her. Was there a right way to say "mommy might never wake up, but we're hoping she will"?

The room was crowded, but it seemed fitting. But it was crowded and just small enough for her voice to echo in their minds. The two were probably not connected. The echo wasn't caused by physics. It was purely psychological. They all just stood there incompetently as if the answer would magically come to them. They needed to tell her the truth, but what truth was that? They didn't get a chance to figure out the answer as Charlie's voice broke them from their thoughts.

"Why is there stuff all over her, and why won't she wake up?" She was demanding answers then. There'd be no ignoring it. So someone had to step up. Hotch was about to step forward in a blind attempt to soothe a girl he barely knew. He'd pretend she was a victim's daughter to make things easier, to separate himself from the situation that he was closer to than he even realized. But then he thought that, in said scenario, Emily was a victim. And she wasn't that. He wouldn't think of her as that. He couldn't. So what was he going to say? He thanked the high heavens when JJ stopped him from moving any closer. Everyone took the hint when she looked around the room with that certain stare that pleaded with them to give her some space. Even Clyde took the cue.

And once they were alone, JJ walked over to her and began another conversation she never thought she'd have. "Mommy is…" What was the right word? Nothing seemed right. "Mommy is…."

"Is she sleeping?" Charlie cut her off.

"It's kind of like that." She pulled the girl over to the seats that were strategically placed around the room for optimal viewing of the patient and the TV. Settled in the chairs, JJ continued. "Emily's… Your mother's body is very weak."

"Because the bad guy hurt her?"

"Yes, because the bad guy hurt her."

"But she's right here. Why won't she wake up?" JJ refused to be pessimistic, but she didn't want to make Charlie think that Emily would be up and walking by the next day either. Because that was just unrealistic and her thinking that would only make the situation worse if things went downhill. She needed to do what she could for the five year old.

"Right now those machines are helping her breathe and she has a lot of medicine in her body working to make her better. So we don't know when she's going to wake up, but we hope she will soon."

"But why can't she wake up now. I didn't get my story for a while. She always gives me my story."

"She can't right now, but I know she wishes she could." Noticing the defeated look on her face, JJ offered a suggestion. "Why don't I read you your story until she can."

"It's not the same."

"I know, but I can read to you while I read to Henry."

"Ok." Without waiting for more, Charlie got off the chair and walked over to her mother's bedside. Although the hand was bruised, she remembered that Emily said that being near Charlie always made her feel better. "I'm here mommy. You can get better now." JJ wanted to cry but forced herself not to. She needed to stay strong, but her resolve was surely fading. A single tear broke through her cerulean walls and trickled down her cheek as she watched the happenings before her. It was an inevitable tear. They'd all come out eventually, but not in front of her.

Not long after they all reemerged into the room, a nurse came in to inform them that so many visitors in the room were not allowed. When they pointed out that it wasn't a problem earlier, she simply told them that that was then and it shouldn't have been allowed in the first place. They were being lenient because they understood the circumstances. So the new rule was only two at a time while she remained in the ICU. It was another hassle thrown their way, but they'd deal with it like everything else.

Each person in their little group wanted some time with Emily. It was like they needed to be with her to know for sure that she was more than the tubes and wires that kept her alive. They needed to be there to know that she was still in there. So they made plans to let everyone go in pairs. However, Charlie insisted on holding vigil in the room and refused any effort to get her to leave. It was understandable, but difficult. So they arranged it so each would get a turn one at a time as the rest of them set up camp in the visitor's lounge. It was going to be a long day, and all they wanted was for it to pass by so they would be that much closer to knowing she'd be ok. However, JJ would take the first visit with Charlie so that the girl could find some comfort in seeing her mother once again.

By eleven, JJ could hear the tummy rumblings and knew that was her opportunity to get Charlie out of there for a little while. No one was hungry, not mentally at least, but, physically, they all needed food. And by some miracle, she convinced Charlie to go with her to the cafeteria while the rest of the team visited.

"I don't want her to be alone." That was her reason for not wanting to leave the sterile, dull space. There was also the fact that she'd been separated from the one constant in her life for a while and was afraid she'd disappear again while they were out. And she didn't want her mommy to leave again.

"She won't be alone. I promise. We'll go to the cafeteria and eat while her friends visit with her. And when we come back, you can help me bring food and coffee for everyone."

"Do I get coffee?"

"No, I don't think so. But if you're good I'll get you a big cup of hot chocolate."

"Ok, but only if you promise she won't be alone."

"I promise." Hand in hand they walked out of the room and faced the others. JJ informed them that they were going for food and asked what everybody wanted.

"I'll come with you." Morgan offered, and who was she to refuse? As the three slowly made their way to the cafeteria, the visits began.

First up was Clyde. He hated seeing his friend and former colleague all laid up like that. He wanted to hear her voice during their sarcastic banter and good-humored joking. That was the way they worked, and it didn't work if it was one sided. So he gave her well wishes. He held her hand and told her she needed to wake up. "You have a family to get back to now. As much as it pains me to admit, and you know it does, they are your family. You don't need me anymore. I think I'm going to head back to the mother country. I've received many phone calls about my continued absence and I have some explaining to do. But it was worth it if you wake up. And you better bloody wake up. Charlie's in good hands. The blonde's good with her. She'll be taken care of while you're out of commission, so I know you'll be ok with my departure. You'd encourage it if you were awake right now. But that doesn't mean I won't have eyes on you. I'll always be here if you need me. No more running. Come home." He wanted to keep the visit short, sweet, and to the point. Everyone wanted a few minutes alone before Charlie came back and commandeered the room again. But a few minutes was all he needed. He said all that he needed to say. So with a simple goodbye and a kiss to her forehead, Clyde returned to the lounge and sent in the next visitor. He'd be leaving in a few days, but he wanted to give the others their time too.

Reid didn't know what to do. He was used to life's craziness. He did grow up with a schizophrenic mother and absentee father, and it didn't help that he was a social outcast because of his genius. So he had a lot of practice with crazy, but this wasn't the same. He knew the statistics on the injuries; the ones he knew of and he didn't even know the extent of some of them. He knew the likelihood that she'd be perfectly fine, and even more prominently, the chances she wouldn't. He knew the chances of sepsis. He knew the risks of complications. He knew all of it, and that made it worse. But seeing her like that, just the two of them in the room, made it all the more real to him. She wasn't a statistic. She was real, live human being. And he had to deal with that. This was a woman as close to a sister as he could get and he didn't know how to react. There was anger and sadness and pain, but he didn't know what he was supposed to feel. There weren't books or manuals for that. So he did what he knew. He spouted statistics. He went over everything he knew about medical issues with her before putting out one more and asking a question surely on everyone's mind. "Nearly 36% of births around the time of Charlotte's own delivery were to single, unmarried women. So why didn't you tell us?" He wanted her to insert some smartass remark as an answer. He wouldn't get it. "By this point you probably would've made me stop with the statistics and just shut up. I actually wish you did. At least then we'd know for sure you were well. All I can say is to get better. We're here, waiting on you. Just don't take too long. The numbers aren't in your favor if you stay like this too long."

Garcia entered the room next in a bubbling mess. She didn't handle gore well and she didn't like to see pictures of any of the aftermath. But there Emily was… Her friend had become the embodiment of an after picture. A bruise encircled a cut on her cheek. The making of a hand print rested on her bicep. Emily, not once in the years she knew her, looked so fragile and breakable. Emily always seemed so much larger than life, so indestructible, and perfect. But the sight in front of her wasn't any of those things. "I'm mad at you." Garcia started as she took out a wipe and began removing the caked blood off her friend's body. "But I can't really stay mad at you. You're hurt and alone, off in some world in your mind. I hope it's a peaceful place. Just don't like it too much. All the free chocolate and angels of the world aren't worth what you have right here with us. So make it through the next twenty four hours, fight like hell, and come back to us. The little gum drop needs mommy gum drop and I need my friend. Come home." She wanted to say so much more, but words failed her. She could feel the tears coming again. She just stopped crying and she couldn't do it again. All she could do was take a minute to absorb everything, take a long breath, and allow the next person in the chain to enter.

Rossi was up, and he hated hospitals. He hated them when he had to see victims in there, and he hated them even more when people he knew and cared about occupied bed space. He particularly hated them when someone who was like a daughter to him was lying in said bed fighting to make it through another day. But she was stable, and as long as it remained that way, she'd be ok; hopefully. He couldn't get some of what the doctor said out of his mind. Could she have brain damage? Was there really a possibility she wouldn't wake up? He couldn't think about those things. "You should've taken that vacation." He started. "I'm not above saying I told you so. But I'll save that for when you're conscious enough to really hear me. Right now take the time you need to heal. I met the kid. Haven't heard much from her, but I can tell she's so much like you. We're going to have to talk about that too. I respect your privacy, but all the secrets Emily, they're just not what you do with family. And we are family. So rest up. We'll talk later." He whispered a few Italian sayings to her before exiting and sending the remaining member in.

Hotch was the last of them to head in. His visit was more about the memories of the past than the present. He looked at her and saw the teenage girl that he first met. The girl then was just as headstrong and confident as the Emily of today, always finding excuses to be around him and doing whatever she wanted especially if it defied mother's orders. Basically, she did what she needed to get what she wanted. But he didn't mind it; not then and usually not now. He liked the attention. It was different from the Haley affection he got at the time. She was… Emily. That was more than enough said. Obviously he didn't act on any possible feelings or the impulses. He was in a committed relationship. No, the acting didn't come into play for nearly a decade. They both seemed to be in a rough patch and they found each other again. He'd never regret that weekend. She was his escape and he was hers. But it was more than that. They weren't just using each other. They felt something. He felt something, something real. And when their nights came to an end and it was time to say goodbye, he didn't want to do it. He wanted to keep her in his arms forever. He wanted to give in to the feeling of possession that washed over him whenever they neared each other or the electricity when they touched.

They had this bond that he didn't have with Haley. He loved Haley, even during their separation he loved her, but with her it was all about trying and working through things. But with Emily he didn't feel like he had to try, it was just there. It was easy and complicated, but mainly right. But maybe that was because they weren't in a relationship. He didn't know, but the spark was there. After their parting he was tempted to get in touch again. They agreed on a clean break, to just go their own way, but he was so tempted. He thought about telling Haley he was done trying, calling up the ambassador and demanding her daughter's number. Just feeling that was out of character for him. Emily did that to him. She still did. And to tat day he was still fighting it. If she woke up, he just might give in… someday…

To that very day he felt a connection with her unlike any other, but he forced it away. After a few months of going back and forth between wanting so badly to find her and give them a real shot and trying to work things out with Haley for Jack's sake, he decided to make a choice. He could've taken the risk and followed his heart or stayed exactly where he was. He made the safe bet. He chose the comfortable option and stayed with Haley. And that didn't end so well. They got the same result just years later. And those years were full of fights and issues; the same ones on repeat. Maybe the safer choice would've been following his heart and having years of new and different experiences. He'd never really know. But once Emily showed up in his office barely more than a year later, everything he worked to push away for the sake of making his family stick started coming back. The perfect fit of her in his arms, the way their bodies collided so eloquently and with such a fiery passion that he never felt before; it was all back in his mind. At first it was hard to work with her. He never showed it, but it was. And that was why he was so rude in the beginning. That was why he pushed her away. Because just the way she said sir sent tingles through his body and made it impossible to be around her. Granted, it got easier over the years. He just tried not to think about her, however impossible that was. They both agreed to that early on. He was married, no longer separated, and there was no allowance to have impure thoughts about another woman anymore. But that didn't mean he didn't feel what he felt. Because he did, threefold. He felt better in that one weekend with Emily than he had on so many other occasions. With her he felt alive.

He realized he had feelings for his subordinate before she was even that. And that wasn't a good thing. He wasn't supposed to feel anything for her other than the shared professionalism of colleagues. But as the days passed and turned into years, he learned more about her. He learned who she really was, and that made the feelings stronger. He wouldn't act on them. He was married, or he was, they worked together, there were many reasons why he couldn't, but the more he learned, the more he liked. She was kind and caring. She helped him after he was injured in New York and Haley couldn't because she was away after one of their fights. After making sure he'd live Haley said, "This is why you need a different job. You almost died Aaron." She always had issues with his job. Emily wouldn't have that problem and she was there for him when his wife wasn't. It was funny how life worked out sometimes. All he knew was that he couldn't lose the woman he came to care for, dare he say love, so much. Even pushing her away wasn't enough to stop the natural progression of his emotion. He was just thankful he was good at hiding and suppressing them. Otherwise things would've been a whole lot messier and ended a whole lot differently.

Staring at Emily lying weak in nothing more than a hospital gown on and attached to a bunch of machines just to keep her alive, hurt him. It physically pained him. And that's how he realized that no matter how much he pushed the feelings down, they were still there. And whether or not he ever acted them, he wanted her alive so at least there was the opportunity. It probably wouldn't happen, but that didn't mean he didn't want it too; maybe someday. But in that moment as he sat with her, he just wanted to dwell on their past together, the present they shared, and the different futures they could have. He couldn't think about anything else. There would be a future and they would still have each other in some capacity and Charlie would have her mother.

Then he thought about Charlie. There were so many enigmas when it came to that girl, but he didn't want to think about that yet. He needed to focus solely on Emily. "Prentiss, Emily… Why didn't you tell us? Not just about Doyle, but why didn't you tell us about Charlie? What's the big secret?" He sighed. A part of him was expecting an answer. "We wouldn't have judged you. We all would've been there for you. I would've been there for you. But that doesn't matter now. You know, this brought up some old memories. I'll never forget our time together. I don't regret it. I couldn't even if I wanted to. There's something about you. And I'm sorry I pushed you away. I'm sorry I wasn't a better friend." He stood from his seat and leaned down to whisper in her ear. "I really care about you Emily. I really do." As he left the room, he made himself a promise. He was going to ignore his yearning for her and be there in whatever capacity the Prentiss women needed him. They were family, and that's what families did.

As the individual one on one visits were happening, the three others were eating, or attempting to. Hungry or not, it was a challenge to get Charlie to actually put the food in her mouth and chew. The dangled everything from brownies and cookies to oatmeal and eggs in front of her face and she wasn't having it. Even her favorite French toast was deliciously tempting, but nothing.

"Mommy's French toast is better." She insisted.

"I'm sure it is, but you have to eat something." They were desperate enough to give her junk food for breakfast. That said a lot. "Why don't you pick what you want then? Anything you want." At that point they would've let her eat ice cream. At least she'd have something in her to digest other than her stomach lining. Staring at the array of food displayed on the table, Charlie pulled the plate of French toast back in front of her. She didn't do much more than nibble, but at least she was eating. JJ and Morgan opted for the other hot food that was starting to go cold. They'd pick up new food for the rest of them before they ventured up.

A few moments of silence passed before Morgan got to his real reason for coming with them. He wanted to get to know the secret child. "Hey kid." Charlie looked up from her food with the same eyes as his friend staring back. It was all very nostalgic. "How old are you?" Without uttering a word, she held up one hand with each of the fingers raised. "You're five. Ok, what do you like to do?"

"I like to play with mommy, and Henry and JJ and Will too." Of course she did.

"What else?"

"Me and mommy make stories together. She tells them and I draw the pictures. We wrote one together once. That was fun. Drawing is fun."

"Do you like to play sports?"

"I dance. Does that count?" She questioned. She heard people say it wasn't, but it felt like it was.

"Yeah baby girl, that counts."

"Then yes, I do play sports. I play soccer too. JJ played soccer. Did you know that?"

"I did." JJ watched them interact like they've done it all along. She was thankful that Morgan, while there were some ulterior motives, was able to distract her from the situation. He'd even gotten her to eat a bit more than she would have otherwise. So she let them carry on without interruption as she went to order coffee and real food for the team. The snacks they tried to bribe Charlie with would come in handy later when no one felt like going anywhere.

When the orders were ready, the three of them headed back to the fourth floor and toward Emily's room. Charlie walked between the two, a hand connecting her to them both. Morgan was easily taken by Charlie and Charlie instantly took too him as well. So to Derek, the mission was a success. He got to know the munchkin and succumbed to her charm. They effortlessly fell into the same ease he shared with Emily. The only thing missing was the teasing banter and suggestive comments. But they made progress on the former.

They arrived just as Hotch was exiting the room. Charlie ran from the pair and over to the man. "Mr. Aaron Sir!" She called walking up behind him. He turned to face her.

"Hi Charlie."

"We brought you food."

"Thank you, but I'm not hungry." He insisted much to Charlie's dislike. People made her eat; she was going to make them eat too.

"Mommy would want you to eat." She was five and already guilt tripping him. Yup, she was Emily's kid alright.

"Then I guess I have to eat to make Emily happy."

"You do because she'd make you like she always makes me." Hotch smiled a real smile flashing his patented dimples that caused the girl to do the same.

"Thank you." A simple nod and Charlie was helping JJ and Morgan hand out the rest of the food. It didn't take long after that for her to insist on being back in Emily's room.

"I want to be with mommy and mommy wants to be with me. I know she does." She insisted. And they had to agree. If there was one person to make the situation better it would be her. Morgan went first. He didn't get his one on one, so he did his thing with the mini me in there too. And over the next few hours they continued taking turns sitting with Emily and Charlie, each adult trying to learn as much about her as possible. If it weren't for the dire circumstances, they all would've had a great time. The only thing missing was the vibrant Emily. And that was what kept the day from being anything but depressing and hard. And that night, as the rest of the group checked into a local hotel, Charlie threw a fit. JJ knew that wasn't like her. That girl was more behaved than, well anyone. So she knew something was up.

"What's going on Charlie? You need sleep and it's late. The doctor's will be here to check on mommy."

"Can't we stay here? We stayed here last night."

"I know you're scared to leave her here, but what would she tell you?"

"I don't know."

"Yes you do. What would she say?"

"She'd tell me a story and tell me I needed to sleep in a real bed." She was told that before. But her voice sounded so lost and defeated anyway. She really didn't want to leave. "But I don't want her to be alone. The doctors won't stay with her."

Rossi, overhearing the conversation, decided to step in. It was time, so he walked over and said, "I'll be here."

"You will?" There was hope again.

"Yeah. I was just going to head to the hotel, shower, and then come back anyway. So how about we all go together now and I'll come back in a little while."

"Who will be with her until then?"

"I'll stay until he comes." Hotch offered. He wasn't going to get any sleep until the twenty four hour mark was up anyway and, if he was honest, he was going to sneak back too. He didn't want to leave her side at all. No one did, but they knew they had to.

Charlie had no reason not to agree after that. She thought about another excuse, but nothing would fly. So she reluctantly gave in, said her goodbyes, and headed to the hotel just a street over with Garcia and JJ. Needless to say it was a rough night with little sleep. But after returning to the hospital the next morning, things got a little better. The twenty four hour mark was up and the doctor told them Emily made it through better than they could've hoped. She remained stable and the vitals were holding. They were still worried about the swelling and her injuries were still in need of constant supervision and of course there were risks of infection, but her chances of surviving the ordeal got a little better. She just needed to breathe on her own and wake up.

After another three grueling days, Emily was deemed stable enough for transport. She hadn't woken up yet, but the doctors said she was semiconscious meaning she was responding to certain stimuli. That was progress, but doctors said it wasn't exactly promising and the team couldn't stay in Boston any longer. They needed to get back to their lives in Virginia, but they wanted Emily to come with them. If she couldn't get on a plane with them like she normally would, they would have her moved to a closer hospital. JJ felt she owed it to her friend to make sure, no matter how it all ended up, that Charlie lived her life as normally as possible, and that included getting the education she deserved. And the little girl missed enough school. They needed to get back, especially with the holidays coming up. It was almost Christmas. Just more than a week.

When they returned, things didn't exactly get easier. They just became more routine. The team got some time off of work. Strauss actually suggested it. JJ tried to get Charlie back into her normal activities starting with school and dance. She didn't want to go. She wanted to stay at the hospital during every waking minute, but she understood that Emily would've made her go to school, so she had to go. Clyde actually played a part in her cooperation. He followed them back to Virginia, talked with Charlie, made sure Emily was situated and he would get regular updates, and then had a good talking to with the little girl. He explained why he was leaving and promised he'd call. He told her that Emily would be ok and that she just had to give it some time. And then he explained that she had to be very good for her mother's team because that's who she was. Acting out, no matter how upset she was, no matter how difficult a situation life put her in, wasn't the norm. She promised to be good and said her goodbyes. JJ was surprised by his effect on Charlie. It was almost… fatherly. Whatever it was, it worked and Clyde was on his way to Europe while they did their best to move on. Moving on wasn't really the best term. It was more like learning to live with the temporary change. That was how they saw it.

On Wednesday, day seven, things were about as normal as they could be. After dropping Henry and Charlie off at school, JJ would head to the hospital. The team was alternating nights and days there so that Emily would never be alone. It was an exhausting task, but no one was complaining. It helped that, after explaining what she could, the kids' teacher was rather understanding and promised to keep a close watch on Charlie. That made JJ's job easier. And it finally gave her time to read the letter Emily wrote. She'd been putting it off, afraid to see the dying words before her on paper. But she put it off enough. They were going back to work the next day, so everyone was getting ready for that and no one would be by for at least another hour. She'd have the perfect opportunity to read it.

Getting as comfortable as she possible could on the hard plastic seating, JJ pulled the package from her purse. She brought it everywhere she went. It never left her side. It probably wasn't a healthy thing to do, ignore it, but never separate herself from it, but it felt like she was bringing a piece of Emily with her. And she needed that for comfort. She needed her best friend there in whatever way. But there was no more procrastination. She was doing this.

"Let's see what all this is about. Shall we?" She asked the still unconscious Emily as she slowly pulled out the white envelope with her name on it. Taking in one last soothing breath, she began to read.

_Dear Jayje,_

_There were a number of ways I could've addressed this letter. JJ, Jennifer, Jen… I've contemplated each one, but nothing felt as right as Jayje. That's who you are. You're FBI Supervisory Special Agent Jennifer Jareau, JJ to friends and family and victims alike, and, on occasion, Jayje to those who love you and care about you like I do. But most importantly, to me at least, is that you're the kindest, most compassionate spirit of a person I think I've ever met. And traveling all around the world, I've met many people, so I know a thing or two. But that didn't seem like an appropriate heading for such a letter. That doesn't make it any less true though. You're you and that speaks for itself._

_However, your greatness aside, if you're reading this, I'm either dead or dying. I should preface this by saying that I'm sorry. Whatever situation I'm in is probably entirely my fault. So I'm sorry for the lies and half truths, for the dodging and insisting I was fine. Maybe I was fine then, but obviously I'm not fine now. I hope you know that I did what I did to protect you, to protect all of you and for Charlie. I'd do anything for her, for you, and the team too. And, if current predicaments don't tell you that, I don't know what would. But that is neither here nor there. The point is that I really didn't want things to end like this. I could've asked for help. I should've asked for help. But I didn't. And no amount of should've. Could've, would'ves are going to change that. He knew too much about each and every one of you. He knew where you were at any given moment, what you were doing; he could get to you, all of you, and he proved that. He made that blatantly clear to me. So even though I physically could've asked for help, I didn't feel like I could. And I hope that one day the team understands that. I hope that you understand that. Because in the end, it wasn't about me. It didn't matter what happened to me. It was about keeping everyone safe from me and the danger I brought to our world. I had to do what I had to do to protect the ones I love. I'm not sure I'd want to take any f it back even if I could. _

_I've never truly loved another human being as much as I love my daughter, little girl. I'll never get tired of saying that. She's mine, a part of me that will, hopefully, live a long and prosperous life. I don't think I've ever felt what true love was until I heard the heartbeat or I saw her the first time during the sonogram or the first time I held her. Nothing compares to that feeling. Love has never come easy for me. I've spent most of my life being shipped from one country to another never staying in one place long enough to get to know anyone. There have been guys and people who will forever hold a place in my heart, but nothing will ever compare to the love I have for Charlie. But then there's you and the team. _

_My family was scattered at best so I never knew what it meant to be part of a stable unit. I did what I could to give that to Charlie, but I haven't really done a very good job. I didn't know how to, not until I met you. All of you, Garcia, Rossi, Morgan, Hotch, even Reid… You all taught me what it meant to be a part of a real family, to have people who had my back and willing to do anything for me. Little by little, each of you taught me to open my heart, to let people in, and to love someone other than Charlie. Each of you, whether knowingly or not, taught me something. But you, you taught me I can rely on my friends for anything. You taught me that I can trust and not worry about being judged. You taught me that I can tell you anything and know you won't go blabbing to everyone. And maybe I used that privilege a little bit too much, but you never complained. So I'm sorry for taking advantage, and thank you for putting up with me._

_You'll never truly know just what you've meant to me and how much you've done for me. In many ways you are the sister I never had and the sister I've always wanted. And then I realized that I don't have to want that ever again, because I have that. I have you. I have Garcia. And whether bonded by blood or choice, you are my sister in all the ways that matter. I just wish I'd be there to have more of that. I'm sorry I won't be and I'm sorry I wasn't better at that particular job. Sometimes old habits are hard to break. Sometimes they're just impossible. Know that I did try. I just didn't know how to do it._

_I have so much I want to say, so much I wish I was saying while in the same room with you having one of our girl's days, but obviously it's a little late for that. But it's not too late for me to say what I need to say. So here it goes. Thank you for always being there, for always helping me when I needed it, for understanding that I'm a hard shell to crack and knowing when to just leave it alone. Thank you for being you. Never forget that you're the best friend that a girl could ask for and anyone would be lucky to have you. I know I was. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You deserve so much better. So when I'm gone, don't be afraid to let people take care of you for once. You don't always have to be the caretaker. You deserve a break. But if I know you like I think I do, you'll be everyone's shoulder. You'll be who they turn to in their time of need. Just don't neglect yourself in the process. Don't let my mistakes pull you down. _

_I know it's not the best situation, but I need you to keep your promise. You said you'd be there for Charlie, and I need you to mean that. You're the best mother I know and I wouldn't trust anyone else with something as precious to me as Charlie. Take care of her. Show her everything the world has to offer. Make sure she knows that love exists in all forms. Allow her to grow into the kind of woman I know she is. Just make sure she feels loved and wanted and all the other things I never felt. Don't let her think I abandoned her or that I did what I did because I didn't love her. She is my everything and she needs to know that. When she's old enough, explain things to her as best you can. Tell her I never meant to hurt her. And reassure her, that no matter what she does in life, mistakes and all, that I'm proud of her and I love her._

_I would trust you with my life and now I trust you with hers. Treat her like your own. And if you really think you can't do that, then I hope the afterlife doesn't allow me to see it._

_Goodbye,_

_All my love,_

_Emily _

_P.S. The other letters are to be given to the team in the event of my death. There's one for each of them. My lawyer should contact you with several other items as well, including a safety deposit box key. In that box is everything you need to know about Charlie's father, so you can finally put the snooping to rest. Also in there is a letter for Charlie now and several for important milestones that will come later in her life. I'm sorry for putting this all on you, but I knew I could count on you. Thank you for being you._

"Damn it Emily." The tears were cascading down her cheeks. "What the hell was that? Were you really that prepared for your own death that you just resigned to it? That's not fair. This shouldn't be happening. We should be working on Secret Santa or hitting up the mall with Garcia. We shouldn't be here." The tears were flowing even more rapidly. She needed a moment to compose herself. She didn't even want to think about what she looked like. Undoubtedly, her eyes were puffy and red and her voice was shaky. It would definitely be an unattractive sight, but it didn't matter. Still with tears in her eyes, she walked over to the bedside and took Emily's hand in hers. "You better wake up soon because I don't want to have to deliver those letters. You should be saying what you need to say to our faces when you're still here for us to yell at or respond to. That's the Emily we know and love." She squeezed the hand a little harder almost hoping she'd reciprocate the gesture. But she didn't. "You better wake up. And soon. Do you hear me? You need to wake up." A voice caused her to stop and look towards the door.

"Statistically speaking, a majority of patients in similar vegetative states from injuries comparable to Emily's eventually regain consciousness. Approximately 20% wake up in a month's time." He nearly caused her to jump out of her skin with his numbers. But his statistics weren't helping. It didn't matter what happened to other people, not at that moment. All that mattered then was what was happening with Emily. And a month wasn't a comforting thought. A lot could happen in a month. Looking at her proved that. Anything could happen in such a seemingly short span of time.

"Jeez Reid. Wear louder shoes next time."

"Sorry."

"What are you doing here? I thought you'd be… I don't know where I thought you would be."

"I wanted to be here. But is everything ok? You look like you've been crying." She wasn't ok. And a part of her felt guilty. She read her letter. They didn't even know they existed. She talked things over with Will. She asked his opinion. Should she tell them about the letters? Should she let them read them before they knew the outcome? They came to the same conclusion. JJ should read her letter first and find out what Emily wanted. But she did that and was no closer to feeling resolved. She still felt they deserved the same comfort she'd been given however morbid the gesture was.

"I'll be ok once she wakes up. You know Emily; she doesn't even have to say anything and she has a way of getting to people. I just want her to wake up."

"We all want that."

"I know, but it's so hard." For the first time she really looked at him. She listened to Emily's words and wanted to share in her grief. They could take care of each other. "Charlie wrote a letter to Santa with her class yesterday. The teacher thought I would want to see it. Reading it made me break down."

"What did it say?" As she put Emily's letter back into her purse, away from others' eyes, she pulled the colorful Christmas paper from her bag.

"Here, see for yourself." Reid accepted it gracefully and unfolded it.

Clearing his throat, he read it aloud. "Dear Santa, I don't want toys for Christmas. My mommy gives me everything I want. She got hurt saving me from a bad guy. She sleeps a lot now. I can't wake her up. Can you? I want my mommy back. I'm happy I met her friends. Mommy wanted me to meet them at Christmas. JJ tells good stories. They can stay. But for my present I want my mommy because I miss her lots. Oh, and my friend Henry wants a new bike. You can do that too right? Thank you Santa. If JJ and Henry help me I'll put out your favorite cookies and carrots for the reindeer. Mommy told me they need to eat to help deliver the presents on time." Reid just looked up from the letter and straight at JJ's slick and teary face. His face displayed the awe and raw emotion ever so clearly. He wasn't above crying.

"I know. It's a hard read isn't it?"

"Are we sure she's only five?"

"I'm sure. I was at the party."

"She's not the average five year old."

"No, no she is not." Reid joined her in the sterile hospital seating as a web of silence wrapped around them. It was a comfortable silence, like they were having some sort of unspoken conversation with Emily as they shared the heaviness of uncertainty.

"Why didn't she tell us about Charlie? About Doyle? I thought we were her family. People tell their family these types of things." He finally broke the silence.

"We are her family Reid. She did what she did with Doyle for us. As for Charlie, I'm still not entirely clear on that myself. Would it make you feel better if you knew that her own mother doesn't know?"

"Does she know?"

"No."

"Fine, but I don't get it. Why the big secret?"

"She has her reasons."

"But she told you."

"Well yeah Spence. She kind of had to since our kids are best friends and we showed up to the birthday party. It was something that couldn't just be ignored."

"So then why not tell us after that?"

"There's no concrete answer here. She wanted to tell you. I think she was just scared."

"Scared? Emily?"

"Everyone gets scared sometimes, even her. That's usually when people make the hardest decisions. I'm sure she'll explain it all when she wakes up."

"You're right."

"No statistics?"

"No." He could've came up with a million or so stats that fit the situation, but for once, he didn't need someone to tell him to just keep it to himself. He didn't want to stay there any longer. After visiting every day since it happened, it was just depressing. He knew too much about the situation, and it was more than numbers to him. That scared him. "Have you eaten?" He needed a break from the conversation, the entire situation.

"I haven't."

"Want to go get some lunch before school's out?"

"Yeah, ok. I'll meet you down there in a minute." Reid took another look at Emily, hoping that she'd just look at him incredulously and say, "What about me?" But that wasn't realistic, it wasn't probable, and he knew that hoping doesn't get results; science did.

"I'll wait by the elevators." He said before parting.

JJ wanted to read and reread Emily's letter about a dozen times after he left. She wanted her friend back. She wanted to talk to her about it and actually have her reply. Having girl talk and sharing feelings with an Emily that was as responsive as an inanimate object was hard. But it was the reality. None of them could stand seeing her like that. They were so used to the strong vibrant woman. Seeing her like a weak sick girl was beyond painful. So she'd take the relief that came from lunch with Spencer. But even though she didn't know if Emily could actually hear her, she had to say something before just leaving.

"Your daughter made a wish. It's up to you to make it come true. And I know you do whatever you can for her. Don't stop that now. Fight for her… and us. We all want you back." She gave the limp hand a tight squeeze. "I'll be back and Charlie will be here soon too. Maybe you'll surprise us and be awake when we get here." One could only hope.

JJ released her hand and left Emily alone. As the elevator doors closed behind them and they ventured the several floors to their lunch destination, Emily's condition began to change. Sounds and alarms blazed through her room alerting the staff to the problem.

Beep, beep… Beep, beep… Beep, beep… Beep… Beep… Beep… Beeeeeeeeeeep. There was nothing but the continuous hum of the monitor alerting everyone to her flat lining.

**I am so, so sad that Paget is leaving the show! I want her to change her mind, but at the same time I understand why she's doing it. I don't know what to think of the show without her. I didn't like the episodes without her.**

**Anyway, enjoy the chapter.**

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**


	11. Celebrations Far and Near

**I probably should've written this in the beginning, but I do not own Criminal Minds. While ideas and most of the writing is my own intellectual property, characters and select dialogue were borrowed from the show so I could alter reality for my own entertainment purposes and hopefully for yours as well. **

Chapter 11: Celebrations Far and Near

_Beep, beep… Beep, beep… Beep, beep… Beep… Beep… Beep… Beeeeeeeeeeep._

It wasn't the first time it happened, but it was the last, at least she hoped it was. Her heart had stopped and she felt nothing; nothing good or remotely comforting. There were no warm white lights or open embraces welcoming her to the gates of heaven. There weren't cherubic angels or life's memories on repeat. There was nothing. And at that point, she had technically died twice. Once in the ambulance and once right there in her hospital room. Each time was different.

In those moments of the first attack, everything was cold. Those two minutes were spent in chilly nothingness. She was the simple warmth in the arctic that surrounded her, the only life on the empty planet. But the warmth in her body was quickly draining and wouldn't be enough to sustain her for long. She couldn't help but feel the life force exhausting and the utter darkness that enveloped her begin to consume her. The world in that more than a minute of death was cold and dark and lonely, but she had no one to blame but herself. That was the fate she paved for herself; a destiny of solitude. But some unknown force sent her back and the cold was gone almost as quickly as it came. The warmth embodied her again and she could see that she wasn't dead, nor was she alone. She was in, what appeared to be, an ambulance ready to fight for her life. Fight or not, she was fading. She fought, but she lost consciousness soon after that.

The second time was completely different, but similar too. She didn't know what was happening until after it happened. One second her eyes were opened and she wasn't in the ambulance and there was something shoved down her throat and the panic set it. Her chest tightened and then she was gone again. She was somewhere else and then she was there, but she didn't know where there was. It was like she was blind. The world was dark to her, but not for the same reasons. It wasn't the same dark as the first time. She didn't feel anything before that. There wasn't that sense of dread that washed into the shore with the icy water of the changing tide. There wasn't that desolate empty feeling that came with some of the choices she made. There was even a slight sense of hope. Hope that she'd get back to those she loved most. Hope that she'd be able to see herself reflected back in her daughter's luminous lively eyes. There was hope and she wanted to keep that feeling; she needed to hold on to that. So the dark she was living in suddenly didn't seem so vast anymore. There was that proverbial light at the end of the tunnel and in that light she could vaguely make out the faces of those she cared so much for and longed to see again.

It was surreal at best, like a dream sequence from a cheesy movie. She couldn't see much, only what she imagined. So in all the darkness, she saw their concerned faces waiting for her to return to them. Charlie's face remained the most prominent of them all. That wasn't an unexpected vision. Charlie was always, an always would be, in the forethought of her brain. Every decision, every action, every thought was all made with that little girl's best interest in mind. Anything for her. It was like a mantra Emily lived by. And in that place, wherever it was, she could've sworn she heard Charlie calling. "Mommy!" She heard. "Mommy!" And the voice was drawing her closer, reaffirming the fact that she needed to be with her daughter. She needed to be there with the living.

But there she was, living in a nonexistent plane hovering between life and death. She wasn't where she was supposed to be. It was too dark. It was too empty. It was too lonely. And she had too much to live for. She had too much to get back to, to waste away in the land of broken dreams and absolutely nothing else. And where she was, while it had its perks, was claustrophobic. She felt like a caged tiger at the zoo, begging and begging to get out with no success. She needed out. The memories she had weren't enough to sustain her. She needed new ones. She needed to be there for Charlie's first date and wedding. She needed to be there to tell Aaron the truth and to explain herself and her actions. She just needed to be there… with the living… to feel the love again… to breathe again… to simply be again. She needed to be back in the world she knew because no matter how dark it seemed at times, the place she found herself then was still much darker.

Like running in place, she seemed to be getting nowhere, like her feet were cemented. That was, until she was going somewhere. It was like one of those bad dreams where she ran from the monsters but she wasn't moving. She was stationary until suddenly she wasn't. After what felt like forever fighting to go, to just move an inch, she felt her actions had purpose. The black around her turned gray as her feet moved a mile a minute. The gray slowly turned to white. Everything was washed white. And for a moment she thought, "Am I dead? Is this what it's like to die?" But then she could hear things. At first it was a fuzzy mumble, but soon words became clearer. There were several voices to match the hurried bustle of moving bodies around her. Where was she? What was going on?

"We've got her back. Sinus rhythm is returning to normal." What did that mean? Who were those people? Why couldn't she see still? "Administering…" What the hell was happening?

There were so many questions just like any other time in her life. But before she could ask them, before she could attempt to see, before she could do anything, she felt a burning sensation course through her veins and all over her body. At first she began to feel like she was floating, but then there was nothing again. There were no sounds or sights. She was simply asleep... or not. She really didn't know. She didn't even know anything changed; it just did. One second she was alert and thinking, and the next she wasn't.

And while all that was happening in there, a whole world was happening out there. Will tried calling JJ. The school tried calling JJ. But she wasn't answering. That didn't seem completely unreasonable. The hospital had rules and she usually put her phone on vibrate when she was alone with Emily. So, unable to reach her, the school called Will. Apparently Charlie wasn't feeling well.

"It's nothing. We were going to send her back to class." The nurse told him. "But she was adamant that she needed to go home. Under normal circumstances I'd think it was just a kid being a kid who wanted to be home, but I think it's more than that. She keeps mentioning her mother." It made sense. The little girl desperately wanted her mother to be there with her instead of at the hospital. But she seemed to be getting along just fine. Obviously she learned her mother's skill of concealment. "The school day's more than half way over. She could wait out the rest of classes in my office, I could send her back, or you could come get her. It's your decision."

"I'll be there shortly." He responded before hanging up and heading out the door. When he arrived at the school, after trying to reach JJ several times to let her know what was going on, he went straight to the nurse's office. Charlie was sitting on one of the beds with her knees pulled close to her body and her head resting on top of them. She didn't look sick; she just looked a little tired and sad.

"Mr. Will!" Charlie said with some enthusiasm before going back into "sick" mode. "Did Nurse Wendy tell you that I'm sick?" She pouted.

"She said you weren't feeling well. Can you tell me what's wrong?" He didn't think it was serious. Even if she was really sick, even if she wasn't, he would take care of her, but he really thought it was something else.

"Right here hurts." She told him as she held her side. "I think my appendice is going to burst. You might need to take me to the hospital." He should've seen something like that coming. Even the strongest of people want for something. And the girl before him, the strong child before him, wanted her mom.

"Your appendix is on the other side." He informed her through his southern drawl.

Looking a little dumbstruck, she quickly put her hands on the other side and faked a few grunts from the "excruciating" pain she was experiencing. "It hurts so bad."

He walked closer to her and got down on his knees in front of her. "Does it really hurt?" She shook her head no with tears brimming in her eyes. "It's not good to make things like that up."

"I know."

"Do you promise not to do it again?"

"I promise. I'm sorry I lied."

"It's ok. How about we leave here and go visit your mama?"

"Can we?" It was the first time he'd seen her smile all day.

"Yes." He stood. "Is your stuff here?"

"Yes." She confirmed as she ran over to the side of the bed and picked up her bag. "I'm ready." After thanking the nurse for all her help, the two of them headed to the car. There were still about two hours left of school so he decided to come back for Henry because Charlie needed the alone time. She was so used to being the only child. She was so used to being only with her mother. And then everything happened and she was overwhelmed with change. It would do her some good to go see her mother; no Henry around, no JJ. It would just be her and Emily. He'd wait in the hall to give them some space.

Arriving at the hospital, Charlie essentially pulled him to the elevator. Knowing exactly which floor to go to, she pressed the same button about a hundred times like it would make anything go faster. It didn't, and it was annoying, but Will wasn't going to stop her. She wasn't hurting anyone and if it helped her, then it helped her and he wouldn't stop that. She got a little frustrated when the elevator doors opened on the wrong floor to let other people in and she had to stop to let them press the button they needed, but Will put a hand on her shoulder and whispered that everything was going to be ok. But he shouldn't have said that, because he really didn't know and his words would come back to bite him in the ass.

As soon as they reached the right floor, Charlie, as politely as possible, pushed through the group in front of them simply saying "excuse me" and "sorry." Will had to do the same, uttering apologies as he chased after the little girl. "Charlie wait!" He called after her, but suddenly she stopped. Doctors and nurses were rushing into Emily's room and Charlie stood motionless as she watched the parade. As he got closer, he could hear the alarm bells sounding and wanted to take Charlie away. He didn't need to look into the room to know what was happening. He also didn't think Charlie should be seeing that. He attempted to pull her away from the room.

"Come with me Charlie." He said as he reached out a hand, but she didn't accept it. Instead, she fought his touch and ran into the room; right into all the commotion.

She doctors surrounded the patient. "She's going into cardiac arrest. Charge the paddles."

"Charging." The nurse handed the man the defibrillator. That was when Charlie walked in.

She stood in the room in a state that could only be described as shock. "Mommy!" She yelled.

"Clear!" The doctor called as he sent shocks through Emily's body in hopes of regulating her heart. "Somebody get her out of here." Dr. Dillon yelled as he motioned for them to charge the paddles again.

"What are you doing to my mommy?" The sight of her mother being essentially attacked by her own doctors scared the girl. She didn't understand they were helping. And it wasn't a picnic for Will either. One of the nurses came to push them out of the room as the rest of the medical personnel kept working, but Charlie wouldn't budge. She could only watch as they put those things on her mother's chest again. Tears were falling as Will scooped her into his arms. "Mommy!" She called again as he carried her from the room. He should've stopped her before she even went in.

They could still here the efforts to save the older brunette woman while outside the room. He hugged her as tight as he could, pulling her as close as he could to his body in effort to comfort the distraught girl. He even tried rubbing a hand on her back to quell the cries, but nothing seemed to help. And why would it? A five year old just watched people trying to get her mother's heart to beat again but essentially electrocuting her heart. That would've been hard on an adult to watch. He couldn't imagine what if felt like for a child to witness. She couldn't know what was actually happening. All she saw were people hovering over her mother doing horrible things to her. Or, at least, that's what he assumed.

"Wha… Why were… were they doing that?" Charlie managed to say between hiccupped tears. "What… what were they doing to my mommy?" More tears ran down her cheeks as she snuggled her head into his shoulder.

"They're trying to help her. I know it's scary, but they're just trying to help her." Still tear ridden, Charlie pushed away from him so that she could see him.

"You said everything would be ok. That was not ok." She was almost angry. A grown-up lied to her and adults weren't supposed to lie. And believing what he said made everything better. What was she supposed to believe after that?

"Will? Charlie?" JJ asked as she came from the elevators. "What are you doing here? She's supposed to be at school." JJ was just noticing the elevated voices from the hospital room. "What's going on?" Charlie ran from Will and into JJ's arms. She just looked to Will for answers while reciprocating the hug.

"He said everything would be ok, but it wasn't. They're loud in there and they were doing things to my mommy." She cried harder. "I just want my mommy."

As JJ was about to ask what exactly happened, several people came out of Emily's room and Dr. Dillon approached her. "Agent Jareau." He greeted her.

"What's going on?" She was scared and nervous and completely petrified about what was about to come out of his mouth and she was trying to pacify the crying child in her arms. She came back to get her forgotten phone. She didn't expect all of the chaos.

"Can we talk in private please?" He motioned to the little girl in her arms.

"I want to know about my mommy too." Charlie interrupted before JJ could answer. The doctor looked at her asking for permission to continue in her presence. She didn't know what to do. What if Emily was dead? Would that really be the right way for her to find out? JJ didn't think so, so she put Charlie down and, bending down to eye level, she wiped some of the tears off her cheeks.

"I know that you want to know what's going on, but I need you to be strong. Why don't you show Will where the cafeteria is and go get Reid?"

"But I want to see mommy." She wasn't being obstinate; she was just speaking the truth. She would do what she was told, but she really wanted to do what she wanted. She needed her mother. She needed to see her normal again. It was all too much for her ripe age.

"I know sweetie, but please? Do it for me."

"Do you promise to tell me what's going on? I'm not a baby. I need to know." The words were spoken through sniffles as Charlie tried to stop the crying. Mommy didn't cry much. She shouldn't cry much either.

"I promise." She would have to tell her eventually, especially if it was bad, but she was hoping it wasn't. JJ waved Will over and Charlie reluctantly left. Luckily, they didn't have to pass Emily's room on their way to the elevator, but every few seconds she would look back like she was waiting for JJ to call her over again. As soon as they were behind the closed doors, JJ tuned back to the doctor and said, "I'm sorry for holding you up. I just… She's still so young."

"I understand. Why don't we sit?" Usually, when someone asks another to sit, good news isn't generally expected to follow. JJ sucked in a deep breath and exhaled slowly as she waited for what he was going to say. She was already fighting back a mess of tears that threatened to spill. "Agent Prentiss went into cardiac arrest." And there it was; the news she knew confirmed and not making anything better. "However, with CPR and a defibrillator, we were able to get a normal rhythm back."

"Oh god, she's ok?" There was no more holding back. Silent tears of both relief and pain were falling whether she wanted them to or not.

"Yes, she is stable again."

"Then what happened? Why'd her heart stop?" Dr. Dillon explained his theory as best he could offering her several causes, but the truth was there was no definitive cause. Her heart stopped, but they got her back. That last part was what they needed to focus on.

"I understand that you have the power of attorney for Emily?" Wiping the tears from her eyes, she was hit with a bout of confusion. Didn't he just say that she was stable?

"I am, but… you said that she was ok? And the only reason to discuss that would be if she needed a procedure of some sort. Am I missing something?"

"I wanted to discuss the possibility weaning Emily off the ventilator."

"Is that a good thing?" Again, she was confused. A part of her didn't want all the power Emily gave her. And the other part of her was grateful Emily trusted her so much. "Doesn't she kind of need that to breathe?" JJ asked skeptically. She didn't know much about medicine and that kind of thing, but she knew that breathing was a must.

"Yes and no. It can be a good thing to further her recovery."

"Look, my friend's heart just stopped, her daughter is an emotional wreck; we're all emotional wrecks. Could you just make your point perfectly clear? No beating around the bush."

"The longer we leave her on the respirator, the greater the chance of infection and other complications occurring."

"So we should take her off of it then?"

"If we take her off too soon we risk losing her airway all together and having to do a tracheotomy, and even that's not a guarantee."

"So what are you saying? What's the best option here?"

"Each option comes with its own risks some of which I have explained, but the swelling in her brain has gone done and I really believe weaning her off the machines is the best option." He went into the logistics of it all, explaining the pros and cons of both options. JJ listened intently to everything he told her, but it didn't make her less worried. What if she made the wrong choice? "What you really need to know to make an informed decision is that she passed all the tests. Her body responded well to the trials and we believe she'll be ok if we slowly take her off the machine."

She was hesitant at first, but she knew what she had to do. "Let's do it. Take her off." She considered everything the man before her had told her, and that seemed like the best thing; the most promising thing.

"Once you sign the consent forms, we'll begin the process. Before we do I'll go into more detail and I'll tell you more about what to expect and what will be happening."

"Thank you." Dr. Dillon stood from the chairs and JJ mimicked the action. "We can go in there now right? She's going to be fine?"

"Go in there. Be with her. We'll start as soon as the papers are signed." A mess of emotion hit JJ all at once as she sat at Emily's side. She was relieved, but still scared. She was sad, but happy. Her friend just escaped death… again. There wasn't much more she could ask for at that time. They just needed her to wake up.

"Don't scare me like that again Emily. My heart can't take it. Charlie's heart can't take it. Oh god… Charlie. She saw you know. She saw them trying to resuscitate you. I don't know how much more she could take Em. So wherever you are, whatever you're doing, if you see a white like, run, don't walk in the other direction. We can't lose you." Hearing the hurried footsteps of a tiny girl, JJ quickly brushed away the tears that had fallen and made herself presentable.

Followed closely by the two men, Charlie ran over to JJ and looked from the brunette in the bed to the blonde next to her. "Did the doctors fix her?"

"They think so." She responded calmly. "They're going to try and take that machine off her soon."

"Does that mean she'll wake up?"

"I don't know, but I hope she wakes up soon."

"I miss her so much."

"I miss her too."

The following few hours were hard; the next few days were harder. Making phone calls to let the rest of the team know what happened was painful, but in the end Emily was ok so they moved on from it. The doctors successfully weaned her off the machines and Emily was breathing on her own just fine, but she hadn't woken up. As far as they knew, there were no complications and Emily was healing. So, things did seem to get better. While the doctors wished it was gone already, the cerebral edema was lessening, and they predicted that she should wake up soon. However, doctors being doctors, they wouldn't even give an estimated date. They didn't give the group much of anything but the medical facts and procedural information. But the gang would've settled for an estimation or even a guess.

It was officially day eleven since Emily was brought in after Doyle. To say patience was really running thin would be somewhat of an understatement. Several days had come and gone since the doctors said she should come out of the coma "soon." What exactly did soon mean? And it didn't help that since she witnessed everything that day, Charlie was practically glued to the bedside. They were lucky if they got her to leave for school and managed to force food down her throat. Nothing about any of it was right.

Luckily, it was school vacation; the kids got through two half days and then it was vacation. Two days later and it would be Christmas. Charlie was dreading it. She'd never experienced a holiday without her mother and she didn't want to start. Everyone was praying for that Hallmark moment where they'd wake up Christmas morning and Emily would be sitting up on her bed sipping eggnog with them, but, with the exception of the children, no one was that gullible.

On Monday night, after putting the kids to bed, JJ overheard them talking. Henry was trying to be a good friend. He was telling Charlie that he liked Emily a lot and that she was going to wake up. "The doctors said so. That means she will." He told her. Charlie went on to tell him their Christmas traditions, which JJ tried to listen to intently. She wanted to give her as close to tradition as she could get, especially if Emily wasn't there with them. It was still a special day. Everything else was taken care of. So JJ stood by the door and listened to them talk about everything. And the conversation helped Charlie a little, but like many nights before, it was hard for her to sleep. Every time she fell asleep, she'd wake up thinking she heard Emily or wishing she was at the hospital. But they all got through it. What other choice was there?

When Garcia learned all about the kids' conversation and then JJ told her about the note to Santa, she came up with an idea. If they couldn't give her, her Christmas wish, they'd give her something close to it. It was one of those "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" moments, and Garcia knew just how to make it work. After explaining the idea to JJ, Garcia cleared her schedule and told the rest of the team the plan. While she did that, JJ got permission from the staff.

Once everything was settled, the women went on a small shopping excursion. They had everything figured out. Tradition was that the group would get together after Christmas and spend New Year's together, but this year was different. And once they heard Garcia's ideas, they cancelled their original plans. Morgan called his mother and explained the situation. She and his sisters completely understood and commended him for being there for his friends and a little girl he had just met. Garcia and Rossi didn't have any family to worry about. JJ and Will were going to be with Charlie either way. And Reid knew his mother wouldn't mind. She wasn't in the right state of mind to really know the difference anyway. That left Hotch, and he only had plans to spend Christmas Eve with Jack. That wouldn't affect anything. So it was all set, and as soon as the things were bought and the BAU vacation officially began, the festivities would commence.

"What time does Little E get here?" Garcia asked JJ as they placed the bags and boxes down around the room.

"Little E?" She questioned curiously.

"Yeah, you know like mini Emily. She's a shrunken version of the real thing. So she's Little E."

"Ok." She guessed she could understand the Penelope logic behind that nickname.

"So what time?"

"Oh, she should be here…" She looked to her watch. "In about an hour or so. Hotch was kind enough to pick her and Henry up and occupy them for a few hours to give me a little break and give us a little time."

"Great, they'll be here soon. Morgan said he's picking up that last little thing and Reid is on his way over right now. I guess that leaves boss man, but you said he's with the kids. So what about Will?"

"He is using this time to do some last minute wrapping. Santa's not waiting until Christmas Eve this year."

"Everybody's going to love the presents I got them." Something went off in Garcia's mind. "Did you have to go shopping to get stuff for Charlie?"

"No." She stated firmly, almost angrily.

"No?"

"No, Emily bought presents, wrapped them, labeled them, hid them, and told me where to find them if she didn't make it. She said she wanted to make things as easy as possible."

"What does that even mean?" There was obvious shock and anger in her tone too. She was just realizing how prepared Emily really was for her own premature departure from the world.

"She left me her will before this all happened and it was in there."

"She did what?"

"Calm down. I was angry too. I still am, but I guess I get why she did it. She just wanted to know that everyone would be taken care of if she didn't make it. And let's face it, she almost didn't."

"I know. I just wish she told us. I wish she let us help her."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course butter cup."

"If she left you a letter that you'd receive in the event of her death, what do you think it would say?" She knew what hers said and it was natural to be curious about what was written to the others. She also wanted to know whether she should give them the letters or not. She went over it time and time again and she still didn't know what to do. Presumably, Emily was going to wake up, but she did leave the letters. JJ thought that maybe she should've just given them to their rightful recipients. After all, they were theirs.

"I have no idea. Does anyone really know what goes on in gum drop's head?"

"Would you want a letter?"

"Why are you asking? It's so morbid. She's going to be fine."

"But if she left a letter, would you want it?"

"If she left one, then yes; I think so. I would want it because she wanted me to have it." Did that mean JJ should give it to her?

"Ok." No, she wouldn't give it to her.

"Why are you asking?" Her curiosity was then peaked. "Did she leave us letters?"

"What?" JJ played false surprise. "I don't know what you're talking about. But we should get some of this stuff opened. I know the kids are going to love this." Garcia was skeptical, but she let it go. If there was a reason for her inquiry, if there was a letter, she was sure to get it eventually.

Morgan and Reid showed shortly after that. "Where do you want it mama?" Derek had a small fake tree that, upon hearing his question, JJ directed him to put on the table in the corner of Emily's private room.

"It's so tiny and cute."

"It's perfect." JJ added to Garcia's sentiments. All they needed were for the kids to arrive and they'd be ready to go.

It wasn't long after that that Hotch arrived with three little kids in tow. Somehow Hotch convinced Haley to let him take Jack early and keep him until the night before Christmas. It helped that Jack was eager to spend time with his friends. And who was Haley to say no to such an enthusiastic plea from her son? They were going to have fun; adults and children alike.

When they explained what they were doing to Charlie, her face lit up. "Thank you!" She yelled as she went around hugging everyone. "I know why mommy likes you so much. You're very nice."

It was a precious moment. They allowed her to take charge of the decorating committee and direct them; tell them where she wanted everything. Hours were wasted away in the midst of holiday merriment. All concerns and worries were temporarily placed on hold as they did what they could to make the room festive. If Emily couldn't come to Christmas, Christmas would come to Emily.

To make it happen, Garcia and Reid hung tool around the room, a small wreath on the door, and put those little holiday themed statuettes wherever they'd fit. Rossi was setting up a small buffet of Christmas snacks for them. Once he heard the idea, he couldn't help but cook. That was his contribution. Everyone else was working on the tree. It came out beautifully. There was no tinsel or other messy decorations. It was a hospital after all, but it was perfect nonetheless. And once the ornaments were hung and the quiet lulls of the Christmas carols played in the background, there was only one surprise left.

"Hey Shorty." Morgan called to the girl, but she didn't respond. Nobody ever referred to her as such. "Princess." That name she got. He wasn't going to call a boy princess, so she thought he was calling her. So she turned to him with that "who, me" look and waited to see what he'd say. "Yeah, you." He pointed to her and did the bendy finger that signaled for her to go to him. "Come here."

"Yes Mr. Morgan?" She asked politely.

"Don't call me that." He didn't intend it to come out in a mean way, but the look on her face said that was how she took it. His own face immediately softened. He didn't want to upset her. She was dealing with enough as it was.

"I'm sorry sir."

"Call me Derek or Morgan, not Mr. Morgan."

"Ok, I'm sorry."

"Enough of that. No apologies." He told her, lifting her downtrodden gaze up toward his own. "I hear you and your mom always have a star on the tree." If possible, her smile grew even bigger. She loved when they discussed her mother and the things they did together. It made her feel like Emily was actually taking part in everything.

"How did you know?" The light was back in her eyes. "Did someone tell you?"

"A little birdie told me."

"How did a bird tell you something?" She asked seriously eliciting laughs from the room. "Only parrots can talk and I don't think that they don't actually know things."

"Ok, you're right. But I thought we should have a star on this tree too."

"Really?" The question held the wonderment that could only be found at such an age; like it was such an unbelievable gesture to give her a tree topper.

"We thought you should get to put it on." He told her.

"Me? You're going to let me put it on?"

"Yeah, here." He passed her the shimmery silver star from the box.

"It's pretty." She looked at it in awe. "I can't reach the top on my own. Can you help me please?" Morgan was glad she asked him and gave her a nod before picking her up off the ground and lifting her to the tree top. Everyone clapped and reveled in the moment as their decorating came to a close.

To the outside world, what they were doing might have seemed crazy. They were setting up a perfect Christmas for a coma patient who wasn't even aware of what was happening. They were decorating a room and partying like she was actually participating. And it was weird, but the BAU family was different. They would do whatever they could for the ones they loved and they loved both the Prentiss women. And the younger of the two needed that special family time. She needed them to surround her and be there for her like the family they promised to be. She needed to have a good Christmas if only to distract her from her mother's condition for a few hours. She deserved that; that one day of pure innocent bliss that came with being a child. And that was what she got.

As the night came to a close, there was a peace they hadn't had since the whole mess began. Garcia and Morgan left around seven. Apparently, Garcia didn't get enough shopping in and wanted to pick up some last minute gifts. And who better to go with her than her chocolate Adonis? Reid excused himself around that time too, as did Rossi. That left JJ, Hotch, and the kids.

"We should really get going." JJ said to Hotch. "It's almost their bedtime."

"We can't go!" Charlie insisted. She had a good day and she really wasn't ready to leave. She wouldn't allow it.

"I know you want to stay, but it's better if we go home and sleep in real beds. I can bring you back in the morning."

"Do we have to go? I want to stay with mommy. I want her to see the pretty room."

"I know, we all do, but you're a kid. You can't stay here by yourself and I need to bring Henry home."

She looked dejected and ready to cry, but, kid or not, she knew Henry would rather be playing with toys at home than there in the hospital. She was being demanding and selfish and her mother taught her that sometimes you can't get what you want; sometimes you have to be selfless and do what you should. "I guess we have to go then." She sighed.

"Sweetheart." Hotch said as he gently tugged at her hand. "Would it make you feel better if you stayed here tonight?"

"Yes." JJ watched the interaction. Hotch seemed so soft and calm when it came to Charlie; any kid really, but even more so with the BAU kids.

Hotch looked over to JJ with a questioning look, one she understood. She nodded an answer and he continued. "Jack, buddy, can you come here please?"

"Yeah Dad?"

"Would you be ok spending the night with Henry and JJ?"

"Where will you be?"

"I'll be here with Charlie and Emily and then in the morning I'll come pick you up and we'll have a guy's day. It'll be just the two of us." They would have the following two days all to themselves.

"Ok, as long as it's just the two of us tomorrow."

"I promise."

"Then ok."

"Good, go get your stuff together." Jack and Henry cleaned up their toys and got their jackets on as the adults tended to Charlie. "Are you going to be ok staying with just me?"

"You seem nice Mr. Aaron. Mommy talked about you. So you're ok."

"I'm ok huh? Well good. Why don't you say goodbye to the boys while I talk to JJ?" She shook her head up and down and pranced over to the boys.

"Thank you for doing this."

"I wanted to."

"I know, I would've stayed here with her, but Will's expecting us and I hate having the kids cooped up in here. They should be playing in the snow and having hot chocolate cuddled up on the couch. Not here hoping to see her move. It sucks."

"I know, but it's going to be ok." He assured her. They all said their goodbyes and JJ left, unknowingly leaving two Hotchners behind instead of one. Charlie was a Hotchner after all.

At first it was a little awkward. They didn't really know each other too well, but they quickly grew comfortable and in their own sense of ease with each other. It seemed natural and it didn't take long for them to get into the swing of things.

"Can you tell me a story?" Charlie asked while she cuddled into Aaron as they laid on one of the reclining chairs the staff was kind enough to give them.

"Any story?"

"Any story."

"I can do that." Hotch told her the story about how her mother and father truly met. It seemed fitting even if he didn't know he was her father. And he didn't use their real names or occupations, but it was their story. It was the first one that came to mind as he watched Emily's chest rise and fall. That relaxed him. Having the little girl in his arms relaxed him.

"That was a good story."

"Thank you." He looked at his watch. It was after nine. "It's getting late. Why don't you try to get some sleep?" She nodded as she sank deeper against his chest. Being the observant little thing she was, she couldn't help but notice the way he was staring at her mother.

"You look at her funny." She said out of the blue as she pointed toward Emily.

"What?" Aaron was confused and befuddled. How did he look at her?

"You look at her funny." She repeated. "You look at my mommy funny."

"What do you mean funny? Good funny or bad funny?"

"I don't know. You just don't look at her like the other people do."

"So how do I look at her?"

"Different."

"Different how?" He was a little frustrated. Charlie should've been asleep, not arguing his mannerisms and staring habits.

"Just different."

"But is it a good different or a bad different? How exactly do I look at her?"

"How should I know? I'm five. You tell me." She said as she shrugged and looked at him with a mischievous, wide eyed smile; one that was impossible not to return. He believed, at that moment, that she was way too smart and observant for her own good, and he was sure it was going to get her into trouble one day.

They continued to talk for a while longer. That was, until he noticed her speech slurring and her eyes drooping. It was an eventful day; lots of fun, but definitely tiring. She deserved some sleep. He picked her up and placed her in the second reclining chair that was directly next to Emily's bed. Tucking her in, he placed the stuffed monkey that fell from her hands back into her grasp and wrapped her in the plushy blanket as careful as he could. He knew from the plane rides and past experience that Emily was a light sleeper, and he had a feeling she was the same way. Too much movement and she'd easily wake up, and then it would be impossible to get her back to sleep.

"Goodnight Charlie." He whispered as he brushed some of the hair out of her face.

"Night." She muttered. He obviously wasn't careful enough, or she wasn't as asleep as he thought. Either way, he watched as she snuggled up to the armrest of the chair and reached her hand over to the bed near Emily's. While the position she was in would seem uncomfortable to anyone else, she looked content just where she was. She was beautiful, just like her mother.

Quietly moving the chair closer to the opposite side of the bed, Aaron sat back and relaxed. If anyone asked him if that was where he thought he would be, if he thought he'd be spending the night with his friend's daughter praying that their hopes and dreams weren't being wasted on a lost cause, he would've said they were crazy. He would've said Emily was too strong. She was indestructible; nothing could happen to her. Then he would realize that that was just how he viewed her, how she wanted people to see her, and that she was actually just as vulnerable as the rest of them. But she was still strong and still Emily, so she'd make it out. She'd just take her time getting there.

He found himself staring again. He couldn't help it. She was just a vision. Quiet Emily. Beautiful Emily. Peaceful Emily. Mysterious Emily… He wondered how many other major bombs were ticking in her head just waiting to be dropped on the unsuspecting souls around her. She was an unfinished novel to him, one he really wanted to read. Watching her so helpless and immobile was a different experience. That wasn't the Emily he knew and loved. And he wanted original Emily back.

Knowing that the little girl was sound asleep, he scooted even closer to Emily. He had some things he wanted to say and he didn't want to wait any longer. First, he took a good look around the room. With the exception of the bouquet of roses, all flowers were replaced by poinsettias or some form of holiday cheer. Emily's hand was blanketed by Charlie's. They were a perfect fit, like that's where they belonged; hand in hand, mother and daughter. It made him wish he would've known about them sooner, seen it sooner, but he accepted what was because there wasn't any changing it.

He leaned in closer to her, taking it all in. "Even with nothing more than sponge baths and however else they bathe you, you still smell the same. You still smell exactly like I remember the first time we met." He whispered before lounging back into the seat and taking her hand. He sighed. Those thoughts shouldn't have been on his mind. There were other more important things to address; like Charlie and Doyle and her need to keep everything private and how dangerous that could and proved to be. "I don't understand Emily." He started again. "I know I've said this already. We've all said it I'm sure. But why keep everything so secret? You bury everything in this unbreakable safe and sometimes it's just so frustrating. We could've been there for you. We could've helped you through it. Maybe then you wouldn't have been hurt. But then I think if we just showed up five minutes earlier, thirty seconds earlier, maybe you'd be better off. I don't really know." With his free hand he rubbed his temple. He was stressed with good reason. "There's still so much I want to say. So much I need to say. But I want to say it to you, not to this; not to this half life you're living now." He squeezed his eyes shut, pushing back the flood of memories, the good times and the bad. "I need to know why. I get why you kept the Doyle thing to yourself. I do, I really get it. You wanted to protect us. Fine… That's fine. But why her? I've thought of every possible scenario. Why keep her a secret?" He had more to say, more to ask, but a sudden, slightly weak grip on his hand drew his attention. He was pretty sure he wasn't imagining it because it looked like Charlie felt it too. She was stirring, but just moved into the touch rather than wake up. Conscious or not, she knew her mother's comforting though when she felt it. That was obvious by the faint smile she had.

"Emily?" He quietly said to her. "Can you hear me Emily?" All other thoughts were forgotten and all focus was back on the now.

"Hmmm… Mmmm…" A few fractured babbles and grunts escaped from Emily's mouth.

"Emily?"

"I… I… tried…" This caught his attention. The first thing she said after coming out of a coma, he assumed, would be pretty important.

"What? You tried what?" He was practically jumping from his seat. She was alert and talking. Or maybe not alert, but, even so, she was getting there and she would be. The important thing was that she was awake. She was talking. She was responding. She just needed to open her eyes and really look at him, or Charlie; he'd settle for that.

"I tried to tell you." She garbled, not yet awake enough to know what was happening.

"Tell me what?" He asked curiously, but also just to keep her talking. She could've told him a number of heinous and profane whatevers and he would've been happy to hear it.

"I tried to tell you about Charlie. I tried to tell you about her."

"Why didn't you? Why didn't you tell any of us?" He was getting answers and keeping her talking. He was going to keep pushing.

"I tried to tell you about your daughter." It was safe to say he wasn't expecting that one. Stunned silence took over…

**I'm still upset Paget is leaving the show! She did an interview with Deadline or something like that and said she is leaving at the end of season 7. She wants to get back into comedy. I'm sure the lack of job security that comes from recently being fired and rehired didn't help things either. Her contract is up in May and she's not renewing. I wonder how Prentiss is leaving the show. I hope it's something good though.**

**Anyway, enjoy the chapter. Next one probably won't be as prompt. I have family flying in from Germany so updates will be sporadic for a while.**

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**


	12. The Truth is Out There

Chapter 12: The Truth is Out There

"I tried to tell you about your daughter." It was safe to say he wasn't expecting that one. Stunned silence took over for some time. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I'm sorry." She kept repeating she was sorry, but he didn't know what to do. Was she serious? Did she know who she was talking to? Did she even know what was going on or where she was? How much medicine was she on?

Her words became more gargled again as her idled voice became hoarser. "Emily?" For the time being, he'd ignore everything she was saying and just pretend he didn't hear it. He needed to know if she was coherent. "Open your eyes Emily." He demanded she do it like it was a direct order straight from the higher ups. "If you can hear me, open your eyes." He waited for it, and it looked like she was struggling to do as he asked.

Her eyelids felt like they were glued together, heavy and inseparable. She could hear, but she couldn't; not well or clear. She knew someone was talking to her, but she didn't know who it was. She just had a dream about Hotch. She dreamt that she told him about Charlie, but it didn't feel completely dreamlike. A part of it felt so real. And she could've sworn she heard him again once the dream over. Everything was fuzzy. But she could feel the grips on each hand and she could hear the chatter and faint whispers of the machines around her. Hospital… Doyle… Hurt… Charlie… Everything was coming back to her.

"Owww…" She mumbled as she continued to fight her body for control. She needed to open her eyes. She needed to know that she was ok, that Charlie was ok, that she didn't go through everything for nothing. Really, she needed firm confirmation that she wasn't dead.

"Em… Emily, open your eyes." He tried to coax her again. He should've been chasing down a doctor or fetching a nurse, but he wanted to be there when she actually opened her eyes again, actually saw for the first time in nearly two weeks.

"Mr. Aaron, what are you doing?" Charlie asked warily. She was tired and didn't love being woken up all that much. "What's going on?" She questioned when she noticed the change of the room. She looked around trying to figure out just how it changed, but she couldn't see it. It just felt different. But then she felt it. She wasn't imagining it. Her mother's hand was moving. Her mother was holding her hand just as tightly as she was holding her mother's. "Mommy? Mommy are you awake?" There was no sleep left in her voice, only excitement was exuded as she jumped into an upright position, not once easing her hold.

"Char… Charlie?" Emily asked as she turned towards the sound of her voice. She was still fighting the resistance her body was giving her. Not one inch of her body didn't hurt. She was pretty sure even her eyelids were sore and that was why she couldn't open them. "Charlie Bear?" Hearing her speak coherently, knowing that she knew who she was talking to, that was enough to make him forget about everything else and focus on them.

"Mommy?" She cried. She was fully awake then and in tears. "You're really awake?"

Slowly, her eyes began to open. At barely a squint, her vision was blurry, but she was definitely staring at her daughter. The light was harsh on her eyes and she pushed herself through the pain to get her IVed hand to her face to shield her from the fluorescent torture. She reveled in the feat as her pupils adjusted and she got the first good look at her daughter. The sight was breathtaking. Tears and bed head, yet she never looked so beautiful. With her free hand, the one that was previously held by the tiny fingers, she reached up to Charlie's face and gently caressed it down her cheek wiping away the tears in the process. "I missed you." While out, Emily had no concept of time, but she knew she missed Charlie. It could've been minutes, hours, or days; it really didn't matter because she knew she missed looking at that perfect, smiling face and hearing that little voice. She missed it all. She missed everyone and everything.

"Don't cry mommy." Charlie said as she moved closer to her mother, reaching out to wipe the tears that Emily hadn't even realized she shed; an almost mimicked action of what Emily did moments earlier. "I missed you too." Like posing for a statue, the moment was stilled. They just stayed exactly where they were, not changing a thing, saying nothing, and stared. Hotch did the same. He stood stoic, but near tears as he watched the reunion. Everything they'd wanted for the past however long was finally happening. And the smile on both their faces was better than winning the lottery. "Can I lay with you?" Charlie broke the peaceful silence with a pensive request.

"I would love that."

As she crept out of the chair and tried to get up on the bed, Hotch stopped her. "Wait, let me help you." They had both ignored his presence before that. Emily didn't even know he was in the room. "We have to be careful. Ok?" Charlie nodded. "Mommy's still hurt."

"I know." She told him as he lifted her and placed her next to her mother. As she lay there, she rested her head on Emily's shoulder and asked, "Am I hurting you?"

"You could never hurt me." Emily was still a little out of it, still in agony, and still confused, but Hotch could tell she was happy. She was happy to be a part of the action again, even if the action was simply lying in bed with her daughter or talking to them.

"I'm going to go inform the doctor and let the team know that you're awake." He said after minutes of silence watching Emily fight the sleep and Charlie finally give into it.

"Wait, please…" Her words halted his steps out the door, effectively turning him around.

"What's wrong?" He panicked. Her words weren't strong and firm like they normally were. They were still fragile and weak and that worried him. "Are you in pain? Do you want me to move her? What do you need?"

"My throat is sore, but I'm fine." She lied. If possible, her hair was hurting, her muscles were stiff, even her bones ached, and breathing was no picnic, but that wasn't an answer she'd ever give. So she was fine, and no one could prove any different. "I don't want you to move her. Something tells me she needs this just as much as I do."

"Then what is it?"

"Where am I?"

"You're in the hospital."

"I know, but where?"

"We're back in Virginia now."

"No…" She had to clear her throat. Speaking was a bitch. "Now? How long have I been here?"

"About a week. You've been in a coma." Her heart felt like it was ready to give out again.

"A week?" She missed a whole week. That would make it almost Christmas, she realized. She had yet to see the room's decorations. Aaron was kind enough to dim the lights at some point and she was still disoriented enough to not be observant.

"What happened?" The question concerned him.

"You don't remember?"

"I remember Doyle and the ambulance. I don't remember much after that." She decided to leave out the two deathly encounters that stayed like a vivid memory on her mind. Those remained perfectly clear, but the time in between them was a jumbled mess.

"That was in Boston. You were rushed into surgery and after a few days there you were stable enough to be moved here."

"I've been asleep for a whole week? What day does that make it?"

"It has been a little longer than a week." She wasn't in the right state of mind or really in any condition to really deal with the indirect answers and dancing around the subject thing. She was in pain and she was tired and she just found out that she missed out on a big chunk of time.

"Christmas!" She was panicking. Did she miss it? She couldn't. That was one of Charlie's favorite holidays. That and her birthday were her two favorite days of the year. "I didn't miss it right?"

"Relax." He told her as he noticed the ding of the machine alerting to the spike in her blood pressure. "It's after midnight, so it's the day before Christmas Eve."

"Good. It's Charlie's favorite. I couldn't miss it." He could read the pain on her face. His own face reflected the cringe as she winced and raised her hand back to her head.

"Does your head hurt?" He asked worriedly, but refused to give her time to answer; he already knew the answer. "I should really go get the doctor."

When he went to leave and slowly pulled his hand from hers, she did her best to grab at him. Her grip wasn't strong as her muscles were weak from disuse, but it was enough to get him to stop and look at her. "I'm ok."

A rare occurrence for the eldest Hotchner, he smiled and applied more pressure to the hand. "You're ok. I'm glad you're ok."

"Hmmm…" She groaned as she strained a painful smile to her face. "Me too." Forced to close her eyes in attempt to ease whatever pain she could, Emily said. "I'm alive."

"You are. And I've never been so happy to hear that you are. But I knew you'd be ok."

"Yeah? How?" She asked curiously ignoring the calls of her throat to shut up and give the old voice box a break.

"You had too much to live for to just give up. I just didn't realize how much until I found out she is your daughter." He pointed to the sleeping figure.

"The team?" For the life of him, he couldn't figure out why she wouldn't let him go get the doctor. It was clear that she was still struggling and all he wanted to do was ease that. If talking helped, he'd talk to her, but he wouldn't do it for long because she just woke up and he didn't want her to pass out from the pain and not wake up again.

"They're all worried about you. We've been taking turns staying the night. Charlie was adamant that you never be alone. So we did our best to make sure you weren't." She had yet to open her eyes again, and when she seemed to squeeze them beyond the depths of reason, he was tempted to flee the room and find the nearest nurse with painkillers, but just hearing her voice and seeing her respond made him want to hang on to the moment a little bit longer. "Charlie was staying with JJ. They appeared to be as ok as they could given the circumstances."

"JJ ok?" That was about as close to a full sentence as she could get.

"JJ is fine. Everyone's fine and they're going to be even better once they know you're awake." He was done watching her suffer. Her attempts to hide the pain still weren't enough to cover it and he was starting to have sympathy pains. She was ok, but she wasn't ok. "Listen to me Emily. It's late and you just woke up. I promise we're not going anywhere and neither are you. I'm going to stay right here with you." Even in her post coma funk, she could hear the range of emotion in his voice. It was surprising, and at any other time she would've said something about it. "Right now, we need to get the doctor in here so that he can tell you what's going on and make you more comfortable. Once he checks you out, I'll call the team and let them know what's what."

"I call…" She told him as vehemently as possible. "Morning. They need rest too."

"Fine, but I'm going to get the doctor and see what he has to say." He reluctantly released any touch they had with each other and began to walk away. "Relax, and don't fight it when the doctor comes."

She didn't have enough energy to fight him or the doctor, so she followed all orders. When Dr. Dillon came in and checked on her, she put up with the routine. Hotch carried a sleeping Charlie, who mumbled that she didn't want to leave her mommy's side, out into the hall while she answered the stupid questions. Name. Current president. Year. That kind of thing. Those things she could answer.

"How's the pain?" He asked her. Honesty would get her relief and a longer hospital stay. Dishonesty would get her home with Charlie quicker. That was how she saw things.

"Fine." Standard answer where she was concerned, but not in the least bit true; honesty seemed to be overrated in her case.

He looked skeptical as he began to inspect her wounds and examine everything else. "How's the head feeling?" He asked as he shined a light into her eyes. She immediately recoiled, shutting her eyes to shield from the bright lights. She was still hypersensitive to it. It worsened her head ache. "Not great I take it."

"Fine. It's fine." She tried to assure him, but it was a blatant lie; not even believable to the man in front of her who she just met.

After wrapping up the rest of the exam, he informed Emily that they were going to give her some morphine and a slew of drugs, all of which would make her drowsy, before taking her for some tests. They felt it better not to wait until morning. Airing on the side of caution seemed like the better plan. So after explaining her injuries and how they treated them, as well as explaining that he followed her case from Boston, he said, "I'll give you a few minutes. A nurse should be by shortly to take you for a CT and MRI. You probably have about five or ten minutes before the drugs take full effect." Wearily, she shook her head and watched him leave. But she stopped him at the door.

"Am I going to be ok?"

"You're better." He answered honestly.

"But?"

"Let's just see what the tests show first. You're doing very well given your injuries. Things look good."

Seeing that that was the best she'd get, Emily said, "Thank you."

As Dr. Dillon was doing the exam, Hotch went to the lounge area right at the end of the hall. There was so much going through his mind. Emily was awake, and that was great. He just hoped that that was enough; that there was no permanent damage and that she would make it through both physically and emotionally. She was strong. He knew that, but some wounds create scars too hard to bear. Those thoughts aside, there was still so much going on. She asked him not to call the team. She wanted to do that herself in the morning and he would respect that. But that was just another thing to add to his stress. And then to top it off, he couldn't get what she said out of his head. As much as he tried, he couldn't. Maybe she was still in her dream, talking to whatever apparition type figure appeared to her in her unconscious, but she said she was sorry for keeping him from his daughter.

He looked at the girl cradled in his arms and really thought it over. Was it possible that Charlotte Prentiss was a Hotchner by blood? Oddly enough, to him at least, the timing fit. She was born in November five years ago. And if what JJ and Garcia uncovered was true, and Charlie was born early, then the timing worked out even better. But all evidence aside, he just couldn't see Emily keeping something so fundamental, so essential from him. She wouldn't do that, not to him. Right? She wouldn't do that to him or anyone. And he had to remind himself that if she did, then she had some very good reasons.

But at that very moment, he was feeling it all. There was a building tightness in his chest like someone was pulling at his heart. He could've been holding his daughter. He took the time to look at her, to really look at her. He wanted to see himself. He didn't know why, that would've meant he missed out on so much, but he did. He wanted her to be a beautiful creation that he made with Emily in a moment of passion and love. He wanted her to be theirs. It would certainly explain why he felt so drawn to her, a connection with her. But when he looked at her, he saw Emily. She looked like Emily. Sure, her hair was a little lighter and a little wavier, although he saw Emily in all her morning glory and her hair was a curly mess; but, that aside, she looked just like Emily, and he'd wish nothing less on his little girl. Looking at her definitely raised some questions. He didn't know much about her either. He didn't know if she was anything like him at all. Did she like the same things as him? Did she do anything the way he did? Was she anything like him? Was she even his?

Thoughts were interrupted when he saw the doctor leave the room and Hotch decided it best to return to Emily. Making sure she was secure in his arms, Aaron delicately lifted himself and Charlie out of the chair and to Emily's side.

"Mommy?" He heard Charlie mumble as he tried to lay her back into the chair.

"Hey, hey, it's ok. Your mom's still here. Just go back to sleep." Tucking her back in and making sure that the stuffed animal she couldn't seem to be without was in its proper place, Hotch went over to Emily. "What'd the doctor say?"

"Tests…"

"But he said you were healthy, good?"

"Better." How was that meant? Did the doctor tell her she was better than good, or just better?

"Are you sure you don't want me to call the rest of the team?" He really wanted to ask about Charlie. He wanted to know. He needed answers. But he knew enough to hold his tongue; until she was better at least.

"Sleep now. We'll call in the morning."

"I'll wait for you to come back from your tests."

Turning her head as best she could, she looked at him, eyes as wide open as she could manage. "You need sleep too. Rest, these tests take forever."

"I'll try."

"You better." She insisted. Even in her less than adequate state, she cared about his and others' wellbeing.

As if on cue, a nurse came into the room as Emily began drifting to sleep and wheeled her out to begin the tests. Like expected, the tests took ages. When she finally got back to her room, Emily was still asleep and so were the two other occupants. Aaron woke for a fraction of a second as Emily was being situated again, but once he saw her settled and her hand hanging slightly off of the bed, he took it as an invitation, slipped her hand into his grasp, and quickly returned to the first bit of peaceful sleep he had experienced since the whole ordeal began. The rest of the night was forgotten.

Unsurprisingly, Hotch was the first one to wake in the morning. His hand was still intertwined with Emily's and Charlie was somehow back on the bed snuggled with her mother. He slept much later than anticipated. He honestly couldn't remember the last time he slept after eight, but then he had, and he had to admit it felt good. "You're awake." He asked after a while when he noticed Emily's eyes flutter open. She didn't seem to have as hard a time adjusting to the light that shone through the large window.

"I am." She responded as she pivoted her stiff neck so she could face him. "What time is it?"

"It's about quarter of nine." He said after examining his watch. "How are you feeling today?"

"Fine." Her answer was quick and final. She wouldn't elaborate. As much as he hoped she would, he knew there wouldn't be anything other than fine. That would be a sign of weakness in her book, but no one would see it as such. "Is it too early to call?"

"I don't think so."

"Then I should probably do that before the morphine wears off." He smiled. He really couldn't stop doing that since she woke up, but knowing she still had that sense of humor made him happier.

"Let me get the phone." Aaron got off his chair and walked over to the table where his jacket was perched, reached into the pocket, and pulled out his cell. When he returned, he said, "Do you want me to call and pass you the phone… or what?"

Now she was smiling. He seemed a little nervous and antsy like they were making plans for a first date not working the logistics of an "I'm not dead yet" phone call. "First I want you to wake her up." She said nodding her head toward Charlie. "I'd do it myself, but she's sleeping on my arm and I no longer have feeling. How did she get on the bed anyway?"

"I have no idea." He said as he walked to the other side of the bed. "Charlie." He whispered as he gently rubbed a hand on her cheek in attempt to wake her.

"Charlie Bear, wake up for mommy." That, combined with his touch, seemed to do the trick.

"It wasn't a dream?" She said still a little sleep ridden. "You're awake?"

"I'm awake baby. But I need to make a phone call," she looked up to Hotch before continuing, "so you're going to go with Aaron to get some breakfast."

"Can't you come?" Her question was innocent. She didn't want to leave her mother's side.

"I wish I could, but I'll be right here when you get back."

"But I don't want to go." Whining… No parent liked that sound, but Emily missed it. Hotch seemed to enjoy the show as well.

"You have to eat to grow. Don't I always tell you that?"

"Yes."

"So are you going to go quietly?"

"Yes."

"I love you." Emily said breaking the girl out of her pouting.

"I love you too." She jumped off the bed and put her hand in Aaron's. "Let's go. We need to be fast so I can come back to be with my mom."

"You got it." He said with a wide smile, but he was hesitant. "Are you sure we shouldn't stay? I don't want you to be alone."

"I'll be fine. I need to make this call and she needs breakfast. I'm sure you could use some coffee too."

"Alright. Don't push yourself and we'll see you soon." Hotch and Charlie left after that to go on and eat and, for the first time in what felt like forever, actually enjoy a meal.

Emily watched as they left, tightly gripping the phone in her hand. Taking a deep breath to soothe her aches, she took a good look around the room. It was the first time she was alert enough to see all the decorations. They did that for her, and undoubtedly for Charlie. She knew there was a reason she loved those people so much. They definitely out did themselves and she was lucky to have each and every one of them in her life. Ignoring the pain from the movement, Emily moved the phone into her line of sight and dialed the familiar number. She never thought the dial tones would be so comforting.

"Hotch?" JJ answered sounding almost panicked.

"Why does it look like Santa got angry, blew up the North Pole, and all the bits and pieces landed in my room?"

"Emily?" Even through the haziness the drugs created and all the feelings she was fighting, Emily heard every ounce of emotion that came with her name being uttered from the blonde's mouth.

"Thank you." That was all she could think to say. Yes, she opened with a joke, but she needed to tell JJ how grateful she was for taking care of Charlie, for doing all the things she wasn't even aware of yet.

"You're awake!"

"You're a quick one." She joked.

"It's really you?" The disbelief was evident. JJ didn't think she would get her wish.

"It's really me."

"You don't know how happy I am to hear your voice."

"I think I do."

Tears were falling from her big ceruleans as she listened to her friend's rasping voice. "I missed you so much."

"I missed every single one of you more than you'll ever know." Her voice was low and quiet. She knew her words were true. Sense of time or not, she knew she was missing out while she was wherever she was locked away in her head. She was happy to be out of there. That was for sure.

"The doctors? What'd they say? Are you ok? What about the…" Emily cut off the rush of questions.

"I'm alright. If you don't believe me, come see for yourself."

"Does the rest of the team know? What about Charlie? She must be over the moon."

"She's happy. I'm happy. And no, they don't, just Hotch." Her headache was starting to come back to full force and she found herself rubbing at her temples.

"I'm on my way right now. I need to see this for myself. And I'll let everyone else know too."

"You don't…"

"I'm coming as soon as I possibly can. Whatever you say's not going to stop me."

"So I'll see you soon?" It was easier to just concede. JJ would do whatever she wanted.

"Yes."

"Then I will see you then. Bye."

"Emily."

"Yeah JJ?" She said tiredly, trying to stay focused.

"We're so having a talk when you're all better."

"I owe you as much." It was true, she did. She had a lot of explaining to do and she wasn't really looking forward to any of it. There were some things better left unsaid and some things that just didn't need to be looked back upon. She was going to have a hard enough time looking them all in the eyes knowing they knew all about her past, knowing they knew about what she did for a profile. Would they be able to look at her the same? Aaron didn't seem to look at her differently; not a bad different anyway. At least she didn't think it was bad. She didn't dwell on it. Her mind set wasn't in the right place for that. Instead, she hung up the phone, took a deep breath and shut her eyes as tight as she could to flush the pain from her body. The doctors hooked her up to pain relief. All she had to do was press a tiny little button and liquid gold would rush through her body and take it all away, but as much as she wanted that, it made her loopy and tired and she wanted to be alert for Charlie and her visitors. She just needed to close her eyes and focus on anything else. That was the only thing that would get her through.

Closing her eyes turned into dozing off. She must've fallen asleep because the next thing she knew she was hearing Charlie's little footsteps running toward the bed and she was immediately up and aware. She struggled to move though. She didn't even dare to try and sit up on her own; lying with her bruised ribs and eviscerated abdomen was enough of a chore. Sitting seemed like too much of a risk to try on her own, not when she was expecting people. She was hoping the nurse would come check on her before anyone got back so she could ask them to help her sit. It was less embarrassing to show weakness to the medical professionals who knew nothing about her than in front of people who viewed her as strong and who she felt she needed to be strong in front of.

Charlie couldn't see her mother's struggle, but Hotch could. When Emily heard them enter the room and her eyes shot open, he could see her great exertion to get into a more upright position, but he didn't know whether he should say anything or offer to help her. Maybe, he thought, he should wait for her to ask him. Then Charlie climbed on the bed and hesitated. She just stared at Emily for a moment before leaning in, placing a kiss on her mother's cheek, and whispering in her ear.

"Of course you can." Emily responded to whatever Charlie said. "Just be careful." The girl lowered herself down and for the first time in nearly three weeks, Charlie gave her mother a hug. As gently as possible, she wrapped her hands around her mother's body squeezing as much as she could to make up for the missing time. She was being careful, but anyone that could see Emily's face would know she was hurting, yet she let it go. What was a little pain to make her girl happy?

"I love you mommy." She couldn't get enough of it. Emily couldn't hear it enough and Charlie couldn't say it enough.

"I love you too." Releasing Emily from her death grip, Charlie politely excused herself to use the restroom. She did it in such a manner that Hotch just had to laugh.

"Are you laughing at my kid?" Emily joked.

"She's cute." He responded, but he had to question her statement. "My kid" stuck with him. Although he didn't say it out loud, not then, he wanted to question her. He wanted to ask if she was delirious or if she was coherent enough to know what she said and who she was saying it to. Or maybe it was both, but he needed to know if he was Charlie's dad. His internal reverie was interrupted by the hiss of pain. Emily was trying to sit up again. "Let me help you." She glared at him as soon as the words left his mouth, just like he expected her to, but he couldn't sit there and watch her suffer.

"Alright." She conceded. She relinquished control and allowed his hands to find their way to her body and tenderly raise her from the bed. Almost in an embrace, Aaron held her as he fluffed the pillows so she could lean back in a sitting position.

"There; all set." He told her as he laid her back, noticing for the first time that she was fingering a little control. She never pressed the button, but he knew what it was for and he knew she was too stubborn to use it. But he'd figure out how to get it in her system, especially when she was obviously in such pain and too thick to use it herself. "Are you comfortable?"

"Yes, thank you."

"I know you hate it, but it's ok to ask for help every now and then. You were hurt. Sitting is an effort."

"Couldn't you just say you're welcome?" It was nice to hear her joke and see her smirk, but he knew she wasn't really dealing with what happened. Not one word was spoken thus far and he doubted anything would be said about it until after she left the hospital. And he'd go along with it. Why jeopardize her recovery by stressing her out?

They got to some small talk with Charlie acting as a buffer once she returned from the bathroom. She was a good conversation starter. It was a necessity to tell her mother every detail of the dark days. "Mr. Aaron took Henry, Jack and me bowling." She told her. Emily found Hotch bowling with a bunch of kids an amusing image, especially since it was probably the kids' lanes with the smaller balls and pins with bumpers on the gutters and flashing strobe lights over head. She continued the stories until she found something fun to do and went to play with some of the Christmas toys around the room. Hotch took that as his opportunity to bring up the father subject.

"There's something I wanted to talk to you about." His voice was serious.

"Why are you whispering?"

"I don't want Charlie to hear."

She didn't like where that was going, but she just whispered back, however hesitantly, "Ok, so talk."

"When you were first waking up, what were you thinking about?" What was she thinking about? How was that a question not suitable for Charlie's ears?

"Why? Did I do something?" There was panic in her mind. Did she say or do something embarrassing or revealing? She didn't know. She did have that dream, but it wasn't real. Was it? She didn't remember. Great. Hotch didn't know what to do next. He needed to find out more. Maybe it was nothing, but she basically told him he was the father and a part of him felt that connection, but he needed her confirmation.

"You said…" It was a pregnant pause; a silence that spoke more than words. But she needed to know. She wanted him to tell her. Was it bad? Was it inappropriate? Was it about Charlie?

"What did I say?" He looked like he was about to speak up, opening and closing his mouth only hesitating a little.

"Gumdrop!" They were interrupted by the vivacious blonde when she and the less flamboyant fair-haired beauty came into the room all smiles and sunshine. Once again, their conversation would have to be put on hold.

"Penelope…" Emily responded, a tiny smile creeping on her face as she turned away from Hotch to face her friends. Stalling the celebration, she returned to her previous position looking at Hotch and whispered, "Do you want me to send them away so we can finish this?" She was really hopping for him to say no. She needed time to remember what was said so she wouldn't be blindsided.

"No. We'll talk later."

"Ok." Thank god!

While Garcia was too captivated by the sight of her E awake and well, JJ wasn't too engrossed to notice the huddled brunette duo. As they approached Emily, slowly inching closer like by the time they got to her she'd disappear and they wanted to savor every waking moment. Hotch stood and offered up his seat before asking about Jack. JJ told him that she left the kids with Will and that Jack was fed, changed and playing with toys when she left.

"Thanks JJ. I promised Jack we'd spend the day together, so I better get going." There was a round of byes as Hotch prepared to leave and the women took the vacated seats by Emily's bed. Slipping on his jacket, Hotch looked directly into Emily's eyes and said, "It's really good to see you awake again and hear you talk again." It was very sincere and very heartwarming.

"It's good to be seen and it's good to be heard." They gave the last bit of salutations as Hotch walked toward the door only to be startled by a child's voice.

"Wait, I made this for you!" Charlie proclaimed as she waved around a folded sheet of paper and ran over to Aaron.

"What is it?" He asked. All eyes were on them.

At a volume that would allow only Hotch to hear, Charlie motioned for Hotch to come down to her level and quietly said, "Don't look at it now. It's a surprise. And I won't tell mommy that you look at her funny."

"Ok, thank you." He replied with a smile and a laugh. She was something special. And seeing her, being around her, it all made him want to be her father even more.

"You're welcome." There was a youthful vibrancy to her voice; one that he hadn't heard from her until just then. She was great and strong during the whole of trialing days, but it was all behind her then. She was resilient and brave, and he admired that about her.

"Bye Charlie."

"Bye." The three older women eyed the exchange curiously. They had such an easy report going anyone would think they've known each other for years. But what they were so curious about was the nature of the conversation. They were already sharing secrets?

"Charlie?" Emily finally asked. "What did you say to him?"

"I can't tell you."

"Why not?"

"Because it's a secret and you can't know."

"But you tell me everything." She feigned sadness. In actuality, she liked that she had such a relationship with the man that she could have secrets with him. It was cute; adorable even.

"I can't tell you silly. He's my friend and if I told you it'd be mean. I don't want to be mean."

"Ok. Go play." Charlie nodded and went back to her toys and stuff.

"What was that all about?" JJ asked pulling Emily's attention back to them.

"Charlie being Charlie." Garcia had yet to say anything else to her. She just stared at Emily hoping it wasn't some sort of mirage or holograph.

"No, I meant with Hotch. What were you two all hush, hush about?"

"Oh, I don't even know. I think I said something weird when I was waking up."

"Weird like what?" She had some ideas.

"Well JJ, I wasn't exactly in the state of mind to know what was being said. So I don't remember." Her voice was a little snappy, but no one could blame her. She really wasn't in control of her faculties and they had no doubt that she was in physical agony.

"Ok, I get it."

"Garcia, please say something. The staring is making me uncomfortable."

"You're really here."

"I'm here. I'm alive. And I'm well." She wanted to convince them all of that, but she had to convince herself first. In attempt to persuade her it was true, Emily placed her hand atop Penelope's. "Where else would I be?"

Tears were falling then. Garcia couldn't control it. "I'm sorry." She said as she wiped at the tears. "I can't help it. We thought we were going to lose you and now here you are."

"Here I am…"An uneasy silence took over. It wasn't awkward, but it was obvious that each room dweller had something to say and was itching to say it. "How was she Jayje?" Emily's voice was welcomed in the quiet.

"She was good. She was worried about you, like we all were, but she made it through."

"Little E is such a doll." Emily smiled.

"She's perfect.

"And we'll be discussing that little omission later gumdrop, but until then, how are you feeling?"

"Fine."

"Emily fine or normal people fine?"

"I'm ok."

"Ok enough for me to hug you? Because I really want to hug you."

"Of course you can."

"Just be gentle." JJ reminded her as Garcia leaned over JJ to embrace Emily. JJ watched as Emily cringed. She was Emily fine, which didn't say much other than she wasn't fine. "Are you sure you're ok? What did the doctors say?"

"Oh no!" Garcia pulled back. "Did I hurt you?"

"Relax, both of you relax. I'm fine. The doctors said I'm doing better." She was looking for a subject change. There were only so many times a person could say they were fine before even they got tired of it. "Did anyone tell the guys?"

"I called them." JJ informed her. "They're probably around here somewhere, but I told them to give us some girl time when I called. Really, I just wanted to make sure I wasn't imagining that phone call."

"You weren't. I definitely called." Emily could sense they were happy, but she could see that they wanted to talk about things. She wasn't ready for that. They knew that too, and respected it. They weren't ready either. "Is it nice out?"

"What?" The blondes asked simultaneously.

"The weather… Is it nice out?" Her voice was distant, as were her eyes, but she was very present.

They didn't know whether or not to be worried. Was she really asking about the weather? "It's December, it's snowy and cold." JJ responded with confusion; a tone of concern and question.

"I love you Gumdrop, but is that really what you want to talk about? The weather? Shouldn't we focus on the other things like, I don't know, baby daddy, baby, what the hell happened?"

"I missed you." Emily uttered in an attempt to ease the tension and change the subject.

"Well, I missed you too. We all did. You're acting all hinky. Do they have you on the good stuff?" She didn't answer that. Saying she was refusing to take them because she knew how she got a bad case of word vomit when she did, didn't seem like it would go over well. So she took another route.

"I know you all probably have a lot of questions and I have a lot of explaining to do, but I can't right now. However, PG I need a favor."

"What is it peaches?" The bait was bought and Garcia followed Emily's line of thought.

"I don't want her to stay in the hospital. And if I know her, she has been here, either physically or mentally, more than anywhere else and I don't want that for her."

"So what are you asking?"

"Every year…" She paused to clear her throat. It was still raw and hoarse. The doctor told her it probably would be for a couple of days. "I take her to Santa's Village and we design an ornament for the tree. Obviously I can't do it this year. And, assuming I have any sense of time left at all, today's the last day."

"Are you asking me to take her?"

"Would you? It would mean so much to me and I'm sure you already won her over. Hotch told me you all spent a lot of time with her."

"We did, and I would be honored to do this for you. Plus it's right by the mall and we could go shopping." Now she was getting excited, standing from her chair and talking in that very Garcia squeak. "Oh, I saw this adorable little outfit with all these…"

"Are you already corrupting my daughter?" Emily playfully interrupted.

"I would dream of no such thing." She grabbed her bag. "Charlie we're going on a little trip." Charlie jumped when she heard that and immediately ran to Emily.

"Are you going to sleep again?"

"No…" What had she done? She traumatized the girl. "No, I promise. She just has something special to do with you."

"You can't come with Penelope and me?"

"No, but have fun and be good for her. I'll see you when you come back. I love you."

"I love you too." She was still reluctant. Emily didn't expect that to change anytime soon. "But you better be here when I come back."

"Go have fun."

"Yes, let's go Charlie. We have outfits to try on and accessories to buy."

"Garcia!" There was false indignation on the proclamation.

"What?"

"I know I can't stop you, but don't overdo it."

"There's no overdoing it. I have years of spoiling to make up for. Years Emily, years!" With that, Garcia helped the younger Prentiss with her coat and got ready to leave.

"Penelope…" Emily called out causing the blonde to turn to her. "Thank you."

"Anything for you…"

"And I'm sorry." Garcia knew what the sorry was for and didn't offer a response. She simply held her hand out for Charlie and gave an acknowledging nod.

After silently watching the other half of the room's occupants disappear through the door, JJ spoke up. "So how are you really feeling?"

"I didn't die."

"No, you didn't."

"But you read the letter?" It was both a question and a statement. Obviously she read it; that was what it was there for, but Emily didn't die, so there was a small chance that she didn't.

"Yes. I'm mad at you by the way. Why were you so prepared to die?" There couldn't have been a more loaded question; not at that time.

"It was me or her. It was me or one of you. I'll always take the dive. I couldn't let anything happen. It was my fight; no one else's."

"But we could've helped." She wasn't ready for that. Explaining, answering questions; it was all a given, but she couldn't do it right then. And for the first time, she found herself actually reaching for the button to release some of the pain meds. "Emily, you had Christmas presents bought and wrapped. You had a plan for your death; a contingency plan for your contingency plan."

"I did what I had to."

"I know." She sighed defeated. "And that was one of the worst parts about this. That and we almost lost you. You're my best friend and you almost died."

"But I didn't."

"But you thought you would and you did it anyway."

"I did, and I'd do it again." If it meant keeping Charlie and everyone else she loved safe, she'd easily go through it all again. But she hoped that never happened.

"I don't doubt that, but Emily don't ever do that again. Reid was crying. I was crying. Garcia was a mess. Derek wouldn't look anyone in the eye. Rossi was Rossi, and Hotch didn't know what to do with himself. And Charlie… Charlie was devastated. I never want to have such a difficult conversation ever again. She was lost without you and no one knew how to help her. I found her crying herself to sleep one more than one occasion. We all care about you. We all love you, and you're stuck with us. So don't plan any of this ever again."

"Please don't cry Jayje." It couldn't be helped. Tears were trickling down each of their faces, but Emily was fighting it with all she had. "Please, it hurts to cry. It physically hurts."

"You're my best friend Em, and when I read your letter…" She trailed off. "It took me days to get around to it. I couldn't bring myself to actually read it. That would've made it real. You weren't dead, but you could've died. At that point, you still could've." She reached for a box of tissues on the bedside table taking one for herself before offering one to Emily. "And when I did read it…" Her head was shaking in what could only be described as a mix of slight disdain and love all wrapped up in one. "I loved every word of it. Everything you said I could've said right back to you. But I hated it too. I sat in your room and read it, cried, and tried to talk to you. It shouldn't take this for us to know how strong our friendship is and what we mean to each other. And I hated you for putting it all on me, for telling me all these things but never giving me the chance to say them back. It wasn't fair. When the doctor first came out after your surgery I thought you were dead." They looked at each other, not for the first time realizing the full depth of the events. "I thought he was coming to tell us you were dead, and I looked over to your little girl; this precious little girl thinking how was I going to tell her. How was I going to tell her that mommy would never come home? How was I going to explain to Henry that his Emily just ceased to exist?" The pacing was literally making Emily dizzy. She didn't quite have her wits about her yet, and it didn't take much to mess with her system, but she couldn't find it in herself to stop JJ. The woman needed to vent, and, quite frankly, Emily felt like she deserved the verbal beat down. Simple words, truths; that was what she needed most. She needed to know that her actions hurt the people around her. They were scarred, just like her only, she caused their scars. "Did you know that she saw you die? You literally died. Your heart gave out when she was coming to visit?"

"It did? And she was here?" That made everything worse.

"She's just a kid and she has been through so much."

"I know." She tried to suppress the tears. It didn't help the aching and pains, but it was all pointless. "I'm so sorry; so, so sorry. I didn't want to hurt anyone. I just wanted to protect everyone. The only people that were supposed to get hurt were him and…"

"And you? Isn't that the problem? You weren't supposed to get hurt. No one wants to see you hurt."

"He did and that was the issue. The only thing was that he wanted everyone around me to suffer and I didn't want that."

"No one wanted that Emily, but we could've helped. You should've let us help." Noticing the signs of physical and mental anguish on Emily's face, JJ calmed. "But you're right. We can talk about all of this later. Right now, we're all just so happy you're back with us and we no longer have to talk to the motionlessness of the room."

"I am sorry JJ. I hope you know that."

"I do know that, but I don't want you doing it again."

"So we'll talk about this more later." She was trying to cut off JJ's train of thought before it got started again. It was hard enough breathing; she didn't think she could handle more of the conversation and there were only so many ways to say sorry. When JJ gave the nod of acceptance, Emily breathed a sigh of relief; not a noticeable one, she didn't want JJ to notice her discomfort, but she sighed nonetheless. "So you read yours, but did you give them theirs?" If JJ did, Emily knew that she'd have some major explaining to do with Hotch. His letter was missing the other half. And while she already had a lot of explaining to do with everyone, he would definitely need more.

"The letters?" Emily bobbed her head. "No, I didn't. I thought about it, but you were hanging on. I didn't know what theirs said, and they did deserve to read them, but they were meant for a goodbye. No one needed to hear you say goodbye."

"I'm sorry I put so much on you. I never wanted that to actually happen. I just… I knew I could count on you, and maybe I took advantage of that. I asked for so much and you got nothing in return."

"But you know I'd do anything for you, and I'm happy about that. Friends shouldn't expect something in return, but if I ever need a favor…" She had a playful smile creeping on her face. "I'll know who to go to for it."

"Always."

"Good."

"Did you look in the safety deposit box?" Emily wasn't going to ask. She was going to wait it out, see if JJ brought it up, but it was conversation and the silence would've been worse. Plus, she wanted to know if JJ knew about Hotch.

"No."

"But you wanted to?"

"Of course I did. All the answers to all the questions were right there, but I respect you too much for that. And I know you'll tell me when you're ready."

"And I'm getting there. Know it's not a trust thing, because I trust you with everything I hold dear. It's a… I don't even know. It's just a thing."

"I get it, and I'll be right here when you're ready to tell me."

"You'll be the second person I tell." Noticing the face of confusion, Emily clarified it. "After I tell him, you're the first person I tell."

"Emily Prentiss… it's really good to have you back."

"It's really good to be back." They went on to talk about other things. JJ filled Emily in on all she missed and everything with Charlie and the team. Emily found that the only way to get through the day was to actually take the drugs and the doctor practically forced her to do it. But that was ok. She didn't over do it. She was just enjoying the company.

Throughout the first full day of awareness, the first day she was awake enough to hear and respond to her friends, her room saw many visitors. Clyde called somehow knowing that she was out of her coma even in his absence. She liked hearing his voice again, especially in a manner that wasn't full with the eminent threat of violence and possibly death. He promised to visit soon. Every single member of the team had their time with her too. There wasn't much actual talking. It was more of a "happy to have you alive" talk and some apologies on Emily's part. The other stuff, much like it had with Hotch and JJ, would have to wait. They wanted it to wait until she was out of the hospital. It was a good first day, but a tiring one. There were several times they caught Emily dozing off and told her they'd leave her to rest, but she denied them, telling them to stay. She remembered feeling alone and she didn't want to feel that again. But towards the end of the night, there was no fighting it. She was maxed out on the pain killers and saying all sorts of things that made no sense to anyone. That was their cue to let her rest, sleep, or whatever there was for her to do.

The next few days were pretty tame for a holiday. Christmas was more than she could've hoped for. Although it took some doing and about an hour's worth of convincing, bribing, Charlie to go home with JJ on Christmas Eve, the promise of Santa and gifts won out in the end. But she still didn't want to leave her mother alone in the hospital again. Truth was all the excitement of the prior days was getting to her and it wasn't helping the headaches. The alone time, the quiet, was needed.

"But Santa already gave me what I asked for." She tried to explain to the adults, specifically her mother.

"And what did you ask for?"

"You mommy. I wanted you back." The water works came again after that, but she tried to shield that fact from everyone else. She wasn't sure how effective she was. After that though, and a promise to call when she arrived at JJ's to read her a story, Charlie left.

Christmas was a good day. The doctors finally let Emily get out of bed. She wasn't allowed to do much, just a few minutes up and around to get her legs back, and finally to use the bathroom as long as she had assistance. Really, she was getting restless and claustrophobic. She wanted to go home. But the home cooked meal and good company made up for the setting. They all gathered in true BAU fashion; dysfunctional but perfect… very them. There was laughing and talking and gift exchange and her first solid meal which she enjoyed. Overall it was a good day. It wasn't typical; not by any means, but it was fitting. It was more than she expected and she was more grateful for every single person in her life. She even managed a phone call to her mother; thankful that no one told her about the hospital until after they knew what was going on. It made talking to the Ambassador easier.

Emily was easy to please those days. Although she was positive Hotch was drugging her, pressing her button whenever he was around, she didn't even care. He was doing what she wouldn't; doing what the doctor told her to do unless she wanted to hinder her progress. The days could've sucked and she still would've been happy for every single minute of it.

But once the holiday passed, she knew there was something she couldn't put off any longer; something that was years overdue. That weekend, before New Year's came, she had to come up with a way to tell him. Hotch deserved to know, and since he was about one or two close calls away from knowing anyway, she had to tell him. She just needed a little help. She was feeling better, mostly, and the person she needed to finalize the last details was there. Beside Charlie, JJ was the only one left, and Charlie was worn out after a long day and curled up into Emily's side slightly snoring. That was her chance to get JJ to do one last favor. It was the final push she needed to actually tell him.

"JJ, I know I already asked you to do more than I deserve, but I need you to do something for me."

Her interest was spurred. It had to be good. "Don't say that you don't deserve it. We'd do whatever we could for you, so let's hear it. What's the favor?"

"There's something at my house that I need you to get out of hiding." Now she was even more intrigued.

"Ok? Why is it hidden?"

"It needed to be."

"Come on Em. We agreed; no more secrets."

"It's not a secret. It's just something… personal." That seemed like the best way to describe it. It was personal… between him and her.

"Alright. I'll respect that. Where is it?" Emily told her exactly what she needed done and JJ promised to do it when she left that night. Since Emily was, at least limitedly, mobile and able to care for her again, Charlie had taken to spending some nights at the hospital. It gave JJ and Will a, much deserved, break as well as giving Charlie the much needed mother, daughter time. It also opened up time for JJ to do the little favor.

The next morning, everything was set. JJ returned the letters, save for hers, and Emily's other documents so that she could do whatever she wanted with them. JJ also didn't want the will weighing on her like a bad reminder if what was. It worked out well for Emily that she did. It saved her from having to ask for Hotch's letter and giving way to suspicions which she was sure JJ already had.

Hotch would be stopping by that morning. He told her he'd come by to say bye before he took Jack up to his mother's for a few days. So there was no better time. At least, if he took it wrong or didn't react well at all, they'd have some distance between them for a few days. That was a good thing. She didn't anticipate a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. She foresaw stormy weather, but storms could be beautiful too. So she focused on that. Things would turn out ok.

Around ten that morning, Aaron arrived. It was about twenty minutes after JJ took Charlie back to her house for a change of clothes and some Henry time. They really were two great kids that truly loved each other. Anyway, Emily was happy that she wouldn't be there for the encounter. Whether things went well or not, Emily didn't want Charlie to learn about her father by overhearing a possibly heated conversation between him and her mother.

All morning, her nerves were getting to her. The nurses thought something was seriously wrong with the way her blood pressure was fluctuating. Actually seeing him come into the room didn't do anything to change that. It basically made it worse. "It's now or never Emily." She reminded herself. "You're a Prentiss; strong and determined. You can do it. It's a simple task." And she could. She would. She had to.

"Hey Emily."

"Hotch." It was all she could say without losing it. She was just barely holding her bearings together.

"How are you doing?" They shared a look. He was skeptical, almost anticipating a false answer; a downplayed answer. "Honestly, how are you feeling?"

"I've seen better days. At least I'm in real cloths instead of that stiff… whatever that left me drafty and exposed me to the world." He laughed. He missed her sense of humor.

"Ok, but at least you're up and around a little. Right?"

"Right…" She smiled. She had to do it then. "I'm glad you stopped by."

"Me too. But is there a reason? You look like you have something on your mind."

"There's something I need to discuss with you."

"Did something happen? Are you alright?" She was touched by how easily he was struck with a grief stricken panic.

"I'm fine. I just… I… I need to talk to you. It's… it's important."

"Is this serious?" He asked almost impatiently as he took a seat like he was bracing himself for a fall.

"I need you to listen to everything I have to say before you respond. Ok?" And he was confused. What was going on?

"Ok… What is it?"

"I haven't been completely honest with you Aaron." Eye contact was broken. She had to look away. If she continued to look at him, she'd lose all courage and just stop, but she needed to tell him.

"If this is about Doy…" What did she just tell him? She had to cut him off. The more he interrupted, the less likely she was to get out what needed to be said.

"Nothing until I'm done… You agreed." It was a firm statement. She wasn't allowing any wiggle room. He needed to shut up and listen. She needed that.

"I'm sorry. Please continue."

"Thank you." There was a pause. She needed to recollect her thoughts and figure out how to go about telling him, and he just became riddled with anxiety. He wanted her to spit it out already. "Over the past years, there were a few… Well there was some stuff I neglected to mention. Some very important things I decided to leave out and it's about time they all came out into the open." There was nowhere else for her to look. She had every inch of the room memorized because of hours of boredom with nothing better to do. So she had to turn to him and speak; she needed to see his face. "Doyle's a part of it. My past is another. There's a whole other side to me that most of you never got to see." She had a speech planned and it wasn't anything like that. It was one thing to think about what to say, it was another to actually say it. And with him there right in front of her, she was losing it. Nothing was going to come out right. "I had an entire monologue planned. I was going to bare my soul and tell you all of my secrets, but I don't think this is going so well. Especially since I can't seem to find the right words. I can't seem to get out the only words that matter. So instead of telling you anything, I think I'm just going to show you." He looked confused, and he had the right to be. She would be too if she were in his shoes.

"I don't understand Emily." After waiting for her to make some sort of move, to "show" him whatever it was she needed him to know about, he just decided to speak up.

Reaching into the bedside table, weary of her persistent injury pains, Emily pulled out the package that contained everything she would need. Fishing through it, she grabbed the envelope with _Aaron Hotchner_ written in her scrawl across the front and put the rest of it away. "Here, this is for you." She said as she handed it to him. He seemed reluctant to take it, letting her hand hover in the air before finally reaching for it.

"What is this?"

"I wrote everyone letters that they'd receive in the event of my death."

"And this is mine?" Why was she giving him his?

"Yes."

"But you're not…" Somehow, the word dead just wouldn't leave his mouth.

"No, I'm not, but what's in there is something you need to know whether I'm dead, dying, or healthier than I've ever been."

"Should I open it now?" He asked as he went for the flap.

"No!" It was a hurried, panicked no. She didn't want him to do it in front of her. She had another part of the plan; one that she would've been a bigger part of if it weren't for the hospital that imprisoned her.

"No?"

"No. I know this sounds crazy, but I want you to read it with the rest of it."

"What does that mean? What's the rest of it?" Emily was confusing sometimes. She had a way of rattling him and his iron cage, but he was more confused than ever.

"It won't make sense if you read it now. Not all of it anyway… Take this." She reached into her robe's pocket and pulled out a silver key to give him. He held his hand open, palm up, for her to place the key in.

"What's it for?"

"My house."

"Your house?"

"Yes, it's for my house. Take it, go into my house. It's right down the street from JJ's. I'll give you the address again. Once you're there, read that letter. There's a lock box pulled out and should be on the dining room table. The combination is Charlie's birth date backwards." She reminded him what that was. He still looked like a lost little puppy.

"What is all of this Emily?"

"It's something you need to know. Something you deserve to know and should've known all along."

"That's all you're going to tell me?"

"That's all I'm going to tell you… for now. Please just do it. Everything will make sense afterwards. Or it won't, but you still need to know anyway." She was taking the chicken's way out. A part of her was avoiding immediate confrontation by sending him away and having him receive the news from a distance, but she didn't have a whole lot of energy or fight left in her. So as cowardly as it appeared, it was the best option for everyone involved.

"Alright. I don't know what this is, but it seems important to you, so I'm going to do it."

"That's all I'm asking." A little befuddled, Hotch put the key and letter away for safe keeping and exited the room. "I did the right thing. It will all work out." Emily told herself before sinking deep into her pillows and relaxing.

Meanwhile, Hotch thought about every possible thing the letter could say and what could possibly require visual aids and a trip to her house. Then he thought over everything they discussed since her recovery and there was only one subject they seemed to dance around. Every time he brought up what she was saying when she was waking up, one of three things happened. They were interrupted, she shied away, or he lost the courage to find out the truth. Maybe that was what was in store for him. Maybe this was the conversation he was waiting for, just a very quiet, conversationless conversation.

Arriving at the house was a bit of a trip. He never saw the house, never been in it, and there he was about to visit and let himself in when no one else was even home. It seemed wrong, but it was what she wanted. And she was ailing in the hospital, giving her that wasn't too much to ask. In all honesty, he didn't really know what to expect. He just wanted to figure things out. So there he stood, in front of her door fiddling with the lock and key before letting himself in and wandering around a bit before finding the dining room. There on the table was a medium sized black lock box just like she said it would be.

"Let's do this." He told himself, speaking out loud like he wasn't there all alone.

Taking a seat in one of the chairs, he took a look around. The house seemed homely; in a good way. It was very Emily; neat and organized, but decorated well. It was all he imagined her house to be and it was so different from her old apartment. The house was clearly occupied by women. Pictures of Charlie and Emily, both together and with other people, pictures of the team, lots of personal pictures adorned the walls and surfaces. But he didn't see any pictures of Charlie with her father. Did that mean there was still a chance that it was him? Pushing all other thoughts aside, he pulled out the envelope. For a few moments, he just held it in his hand examining the scripture like he was analyzing it. Emily wrote that to him as a last word. She asked him to read it, wrote it specifically for him, and he wanted to know what was in it as much as she seemed to want him to read it. But that didn't keep him from being nervous. What made him even more nervous was the thought that it could be the one thing he had been thinking about. And he still didn't know how to feel about it if it was. There wasn't any more wait. He pulled the paper out of the envelope and began reading.

_Dear Aaron, _

_Never in my life have I imagined anything this hard. Telling you, saying what needs to be said should be easy. You're you, and I'm me and we've never had this issue. We've always been pretty open with each other, been there for one another. But if it were easy, I would've told you years ago. There has always been so much we left unspoken, so much in our way. There were things that we should have discussed and didn't. But ignoring it, denying it, and pushing it aside put us where we are now._

_I've made many mistakes in my life, more than I care to admit. But my biggest mistake was you. That sounds harsh; I know, but you'll understand the more you read._

_I've thought about the thousands of different ways to tell you this. I went over each and every one multiple times. I even practiced it in the mirror; I know that's so unlike me. But what I've done was, is, so unlike me too. I lied to you and have continued to lie for years. I'm not proud of that._

_There are no excuses, no get out of jail free cards; there are just apologies. I am so sorry for keeping something so vital from you. For keeping someone so important hidden from you like a skeleton in the closet. She is not, never was, and never will be that._

_I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. And if this is the last thing you hear from me then know that I didn't do it to hurt you. It was never my intention to hurt you. I didn't do it to spite you. I did it because I was scared. I did it because I was hurt. And I did it because, at the time, it seemed like the best scenario. And once it was done, I couldn't undo it. I couldn't take it back. So I lived with it, and I managed it, but I didn't give you a chance and that's not fair._

_The truth is that I haven't stopped thinking about you since we met again at the gala. We had a good time I think. I did at least. We were friends before that, and I believe we were friends after that. I won't ever regret the time we've spent together and things we've shared. But as we worked together, I pushed those feelings aside. I forgot about that lost weekend and pretended that it never happened. I compartmentalized it because that's what I do to survive. But it was wrong. I should've kept calling even after I learned about Haley. I should've tried harder to contact you. We shouldn't have swept it under the rug. We should've talked about it more than saying we weren't going to talk about it when I showed up at the BAU, but it's too late to change that now. We are where we are._

_I only wish I was there to tell you this in person Aaron, but she is yours. And she needs you now more than ever because, if you're reading this, she doesn't have me anymore. Treat her well. Love her the way she already loves you. Just be there for her like you would've been had you known from the beginning._

_I'm sorry for everything; for all the lies and secrecy. I hope you can find it in your heart to one day forgive me and not hold it against our daughter. Charlotte is everything good in the world. She has everything good about you and me, and she doesn't deserve anything less than your love and acceptance. I know you probably have a lot of questions and I'm not there to answer them, so I hope everything I've left behind will give you the answers you need._

_Love,_

_Emily_

The letter told him everything and nothing at the same time. So before absorbing it all, before letting his thoughts drift, his mind to speculate, and his emotions to get the best of him, he wanted to look through whatever was in the box. He gently ran his hand over the engraving. _C.P._ He could only think that stood for Charlotte Prentiss. What else could it have been? Typing the given code into the keypad, he waited for the beep of entrance.

Inside was a mini world; planet Charlie. There were documents dating back from even before birth; immunization records, report cards, schedules and dates. It was her life in a summary. A folder marked confidential drew his attention. He didn't know whether or not to open it. It was private, but his sympathy for invasion of privacy went out the window the moment he learned the truth that had been kept secret. Squelching any misgivings, he opened the file. Reading it over, he saw that it was a DNA test. He didn't know how she got it or when it was done, but there in black and white was everything he already knew. If the circumstantial evidence wasn't enough, he was given the poof that he was a 99.9999% paternal match for that perfect little girl he already cared so much for.

But he wasn't done there. There was plenty more buried in the metal box that held all things his daughter. _His daughter… _He liked the sound of that. But he didn't want to feel anything yet. He just wanted to get through all the things before he had any reactions. He just wanted to know as much as he could before anything else. He kept going through the papers and objects. A collection of envelopes pulled him in. They were all addressed to him, the writing varying as if written over time. He wanted to open them, to read them and know what was inside, but decided to get to them later unsure of what he'd find. The next thing to grab his attention was an album. If he had seen it before, he would've recognized it as an exact replica to the one Emily was so fond of just with a few extra pictures added in. Opening it, the first thing he saw was a picture of him and Emily when he worked for the Ambassador. A candid picture of them at the party came next. There were pages of sonograms and firsts. All the milestones were documented and photographed. It was everything he ever would've wanted. He just wanted to be a part of it too.

Once he finished looking through all of Emily's evidence; the detailed photographic evidence of his daughter's life without him, he looked at the paper Charlie gave him the a few days before. He couldn't seem to let go of it, and since she gave it to him, it hadn't left his side. It was a good picture. It was adorable. Charlie drew them at the hospital. Emily was in the bed with a smile. Hotch was holding her hand looking at her "funny." And Charlie was next to Emily holding her monkey. She had no idea she was drawing a family portrait. To her, he was just some nice guy that looked at her mom weird and was part of her team.

He felt so lost. His mind was on overdrive and his thoughts were running rampant. Everything was bouncing back and forth between the good and the bad, the happy and the sad. Nothing was clear and nothing made sense, but he needed to figure it out. Looking up to the wall clock he realized he had spent hours mulling over the facts, going over and memorizing every detail he could get his hands on. What was his next move? It was getting late and he had to pick up Jack so that they could make it to his parent's before nightfall, but he couldn't just leave. Abruptly standing, he took one last look at the mess he made, put it all back into the box, grabbed it, and headed for the door. He needed to go see Emily. There wasn't any question about that.

As he made his way back to the hospital, his thoughts were simmering. In the letter she said she always had some sort of feelings for him. And if he was honest, he always had some sort of feelings for her too. He just pushed them side to make things work with Haley and their family. But that made things worse because then he missed out on his other family. Nothing about the situation was fair and as much as he wanted to blame Emily, he didn't make it easy on her either. He just didn't know how he was supposed to feel or even what he actually felt. Happy? Sad? Mad? Bad? He just didn't know.

Barging into the room, not bothering to knock or announce himself, he was irate. He allowed the rage he was feeling to overpower all other emotions. "I'm her father? I'm Charlotte's dad?" He blurted out.

Although surprised by his sudden appearance, she really wasn't surprised at all. She knew it wasn't an easy pill to swallow. And he had every right to feel the anger he was displaying. She would have to bear the brunt of it, but it was a mess she made and now she was on clean up duty. "Yes, Charlie is our daughter. She is yours and mine; ours."

**Super long chapter… I hope that makes up for the wait. **

**Anyway, enjoy the chapter. Some of the next chapter is already written, but it's nowhere near complete. Expect an update in about two weeks. After that I should be back to my usual weekly update. By then all airport trips and relative madness should be over.**

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**


	13. There's No Turning Back

Chapter 13: There's No Turning Back

Barging into the room, not bothering to knock or announce himself, Hotch was irate. He allowed the rage he was feeling to overpower all other emotions. "I'm her father? I'm Charlotte's dad?" He blurted out in fury, shock and angst.

Although surprised by his sudden appearance, she really wasn't surprised at all. She knew it wasn't an easy pill to swallow, and she expected a little choke up. And he had every right to feel the anger he was displaying. She would have to bear the brunt of it, but it was a mess she made and now she was on clean up duty. "Yes, Charlie is our daughter. She is yours and mine; ours."

Her words were slow and deliberate for emphasis. She didn't know how else to say it. But he didn't need any emphasis. Each word cut deeper and deeper as the emotions he tried to push aside started rushing in. The anger, however, was still the most prominent of them all.

"How could you do this Emily? How could you do this to me? To her? To us?" He couldn't seem to stop himself. Normally, cooler heads would prevail, but he couldn't believe she would keep something like that from him. It wasn't like her at all. But maybe he didn't really know her.

"Hotch… Aaron…" She was expecting this, but she really couldn't fathom a good response. Instead, she just shifted her position and attempted to get a little closer to him. However, her actions were halted when he stormed across the room until he was directly in front of her.

"You lied to me about my daughter. I've missed out on the first five years of her life because of you. I didn't even know she existed until you almost died. Five years Emily. How is any of this fair?"

"It's not." She tried to say more, but she really couldn't fit it in. He was on a tirade and she just had to sit back and listen and remind herself that she deserved his wrath. The tornado was a product of her own storm.

"I know nothing about her. No, that's a lie." He corrected himself. "I know her name. I know that she is so much like you that sometimes it feels like I'm looking at you at that age, but I think about how that could've been different if I was around. Would she have been more like me? Would she do some of the things she does like I do?"

"She does." Emily interrupted and finally caught Aaron's attention. "When she's sad she looks just like you. That frown you have, Jack has it too, and so does Charlie. Every time I hear her laugh I think of you. It's perfect, like a blend of me and you into this adorable little chuckle. Sometimes she'll just stand around and look at something with such intensity that I swear she'd seen you do it before." She pushed herself up as much as possible, leaning closer to him. "Don't you see that she is still your daughter, still so much a part of you even if you weren't there?"

"I've seen her cry. I've seen her smile. I've seen her happy and sad. I've even seen her mad. But I don't even know her favorite color. I don't know what her favorite food is or how she likes to spend her time. I don't really know anything about her at all." He was both devastated and thrilled. He had a daughter, but he barely knew her. They sat there in silence for a moment to just take it all in. Emily could see that he was suffering, and she was suffering too. She never meant for it to go on so long. He was supposed to know for almost as long as she did. At the very least, he deserved to know when she was born. But the silence was deafening as they stared into the other's pain filled eyes.

"Purple." Emily blurted out. It was an attempted ice breaker.

"What?" He was confused. Purple? Was that all she had to say?

"Her favorite color is purple. She likes French toast and strawberries for breakfast, but not too many strawberries because if she overdoes it, she gets hives. It's an allergy she seemed to outgrow. She loves homemade pizza which we have every other Sunday. She is incredibly, incredibly gifted and I'm not just saying that because I'm her mother." Emily barely stopped talking long enough to take a breath. "She is so determined. When she sets her mind to something, she fights for it. And even when it's a simple task she works so hard to get it right. When she's drawing or doing homework or when she's trying to reach for something in the pantry that's just a little too high, she does this thing." Emily was gushing. There was nothing like talking about her daughter that brought a smile to her face. And hearing everything softened Hotch's aching heart. He already loved her and he barely knew her. And finally knowing about her, whether he had his suspicions or not, was both exhilarating and heartbreaking. He still wasn't sure how to feel. He didn't want to be mad, but he didn't know how not to be. "She sticks her tongue out and wraps it over her top lip while the bottom lip is sucked back into her mouth over her teeth. It's hard to explain; you just have to see it. I don't even think she knows she does it, but she does. It helps her focus or something. I don't know. There is just so much more to her than I can even begin to explain."

"It would've been nice to learn those things on my own." Although he didn't intend it to come out quite so venomous, there was definitely still anger in his words. He told himself that he had a right to be angry, and that was true. But the saying about flies and honey kept passing through his mind. He wanted to be civil.

"I know." She took a long breath. "I know. And I wish you did. But you can now. You can get to know her now. It's not too late for that, but it has to be something you want. I don't want you to be a part of her life if it's only out of obligation. I never wanted or would want to force you into anything. She can go years believing what she believes now, years before I have to explain anything. So you have to want this, not feel forced into it." She watched his face more intently than she had during the previous parts of their conversation. She needed to see how he'd react. Would getting to know Charlie be something he wanted? She wanted it, she was sure Charlie wanted it, but did he? That, and working through the anger, was the last piece of the puzzle.

"How can you even ask if I want to be a part of her life?"

"Because... you've told me what you've missed out on and what you don't know about her, but you haven't told me what you do know or what you want. You're angry at me. I get that. You should be. What I did is wrong no matter what my reasons. But I want to know what you want to do. Mad or not, this is about her. So tell me Aaron. What are you thinking about right now? What's on your mind?" She asked as calmly as possible.

"This is going to be a nightmare." That caught her off guard. She didn't think he'd be happy, but she didn't think he'd call their daughter a nightmare. "Strauss is going to have our asses. Haley and Jack are going to think I had an affair." He was pacing. For Hotch, that wasn't a good sign, but all Emily could do was watch the train wreck and try to keep her thoughts and emotions in check. "There is so much on my mind Emily, that I don't even know where to begin. All I see right now is a mess. I want time back; that's what I'm thinking about. Time."

"What does that even mean?" It was open to interpretation and her mind immediately went to the worst. Her brain went straight to thinking that he wanted to take time back and erase everything they've been through, everything Charlie, their nights together, everything. She didn't want that. She never would and just the idea that he would made her stomach churn. But there were other possibilities and she was holding on to that.

"It means that I need time."

"I can't give you time back Aaron. If I could give you years with her back, I would, but I can give you time now. You deserve that."

"You're damn right I do. Because right now Emily… Prentiss…" He clenched his hands into fists so tight his hands were turning a sickly white. Reverting to using her nickname didn't help ease the intimate situation either. "I can't look at you without feeling like I want strangle you. And I don't like this feeling. I don't like feeling like you're the unsub we're trying to take down." Anger she expected, resentment too, but never would she imagine he put her on level playing field with an unsub. That she couldn't have foreseen. "Right now…" She cut him off. It was written in every movement, every twitch of the face, that anything that would've come out of his mouth would've just been worse, hurtful, and said deliberately. What she did was wrong. She'll say it over and over again, but she had legitimate reasons for doing so; however selfish some of them were. He was being spiteful. There was a difference.

"Right now you're angry, but don't say something you can't take back. Don't say something you'll regret."

"I don't know how I feel. But I do know that right now, I can't stand to look at you. I feel hatred and anger. I don't want to hate you, but at this moment, I feel like I do." Her head snapped away from him, almost painfully, so that she was looking nowhere in particular other than in a direction that wouldn't allow him to see the tears that were welling begin to fall.

"Don't say that." The begging quality in her voice was foreign to both of them. He had never heard her sound so… weak, not even when she was first emerging from her coma. And she had never wanted to sound like that. But she was hurting, as was he. And maybe she deserved the hate or maybe it was the anger talking, but none of that meant she was immune to the damage it caused. "Please don't say that."

"Why not Prentiss?" His voice was raised. "You chose to lie to me; to omit something that I should have and could have been a part of from the beginning. Does she even know who I am to her? Does she think her dad is some deadbeat?" She couldn't believe her ears. How little did he think of her? She would never. But there she sat, drying her eyes in attempt to hide the sadness that consumed her while trying her best to keep some semblance of eye contact.

"She knows you're an amazing man. That's all I ever told her."

"So what then? Daddy just didn't have time for her? Daddy didn't care enough?" The words were vile, but he lost all control. "Daddy's the bad guy and mommy's the hero?"

"No!" She snapped; her eyes finally boring into his. "I would never speak poorly of you. I have never said anything but good things about you." The last question wasn't worth dignifying with a response.

"And how am I supposed to believe that? I can't believe anything that comes out of your mouth. I don't know if it's true, semi true, or an outright lie. I don't know if I can trust anything that you say."

"That's not fair."

"Not fair? How is any of this fair? She missed out. I missed out. And in the end I come out like the bad guy. So tell me, how is any of this fair?"

"I already admitted I was wrong. And I already said it's not fair to you, but no one is coming out of this unscathed. I did what I had to and, now, now you need to accept that. Until you do I think you should go." She didn't want him to go. Things shouldn't have ended like that, but if they kept going, she was afraid of where they'd land. There wasn't much left for them to tear down and the conversation was going far worse than she imagined. "You have plans with Jack, and honestly, I don't want to talk to you anymore; not yet." Deflation took over. She was defeated and sad and living in the tangled web she weaved. Her psyche was already fractured from the Doyle stuff and all her other mental anguish. Listening to Hotch tell her he hated her and whatever else he was desperately trying to hold back would only puncture the fragile pieces further. "I'm giving you space, please take it. Come back and talk to me when you're ready." They needed distance.

"Jack missed out on his sister." He said, only realizing it for the first time. "Are you happy with yourself? Keeping a little boy from his baby sister…"

"Please go Hotch." Jack was always a thought that lingered on her mind. She had no doubt he would've instantly taken the protective older brother role to whole new levels. But she did her best not to think of either of them missing out on each other because she felt bad enough as it was. That reminder almost made it worse.

"Fine." He waved his hands in mock surrender. This battle was over, but the war had only just begun. Both parties just hoped they could come up with some kind of peace treaty before their entire worlds were blown to bits. "I'm going to go and I'm taking the lock box with me. I need to go through it to wrap my head around it."

"I understand."

"Do you? Because I don't think you do. If you did, you wouldn't have kept her from me for so long."

"That's enough." Her voce portrayed a confidence and strength she didn't have.

"I need to figure out how I feel about this and I need to go through that stuff so I can know who my daughter is and catch up on everything I missed." It was the first time his voice was remotely calm. Laced with a melancholy, his words only cut her deeper.

"I know you don't want to hear anything from me right now," She started as he walked away, "but I am sorry."

"Being sorry isn't enough." Not once did he turn around.

"Read the letters in the box. It might be hard, but it will give you some insight. Maybe they can help you understand my side a little better." She wanted to throw in an angry term of not so much endearment; a swear or two, but she was above that. She, at least, needed to seem better than that.

Hotch left after she finished talking. He needed to pick up Jack and start the drive, and he needed to do it with as close to a level head as he could get. Jack didn't need to know anything yet. From what he heard, his son already liked his sister, but he needed to figure things out before telling anyone that Charlie was his daughter. A little rough driving and a few quiet days away with his son was just what he needed to gain some perspective and try to understand anything about the situation he found himself in.

Emily, on the other hand, was having trouble containing her feelings. Normally she'd just write it off, push it aside, and save it for a rainy day, but she just couldn't. While finally telling Hotch should've lessened her burden, it seemed to only add to it. After talking with him, her heart felt heavy, her body felt drained and it was like the levee was finally breaking. She was feeling everything she always stopped herself from feeling and it was all happening at once. And she found herself struggling to even stand.

As soon as he left and she could no longer hear his footsteps, she let it all out. She had been having dreams at night that she ignored. She had been feeling guilty and wrong and angry and sad and everything was caving in on her. She felt her chest tighten as the tears fell. Breathing became hard and labored. Like breaking after a ten mile run, just catching her breath seemed impossible. She was panicking and could hear the machines around her, which she so often tried to disconnect herself from, beeping loud and furiously in the midst of her attack.

A nurse came rushing in without Emily even noticing. She was too busy trying to calm herself focusing on the positive or whatever one was supposed to do during an episode. Nothing was working though. Her chest continued to feel like an elephant decided it was a good place to rest and suffocating her was just an added bonus. Her heart was beating so fast and so hard that even when the nurse was saying something, Emily could see her mouth moving but heard nothing more than the rapid thump pounding in her ears. The room was spinning and it felt like the floor beneath her was slowly being ripped right out from under her. Her world was collapsing and every shred of control she once felt was then demolished.

Somehow, during the whole mess, Rossi found his way into her room pushing the nurse aside, telling her he had everything under control, and effectively getting her out of the way until he was right in front of Emily. She could feel the masculine hands firmly, but gently, resting on her shoulders and soft murmurs barely penetrating the noise in her mind. "Breathe Emily, just breathe." She made out. "That's it. Just follow my breathing. In and out. In and out. You got it." Slowly, her heart rate returned to normal and her breathing started to stabilize. "You're ok. You're doing just fine." He continued to placate her.

"Rossi?" She felt extremely childish. That was not a picture she ever wanted to portray for her superior, friend or not.

"Yeah, hey. Calm down alright? You're ok now."

"I'm ok." There was still a panting quality to her breathing, but it was getting better, and Rossi was relieved. "Thank you."

Releasing her from his grip, he said, "I have to say, when I came to see you, this is not at all what I expected." He didn't say it in a patronizing way or anyway to belittle her or make her feel worse. It was a concerned statement said from one friend to another. Emily understood that. She felt that, and she wasn't taking it for granted. She just wished that she wasn't in the situation to begin with.

"This isn't what I had in mind either." It came out flat and almost emotionless.

"What's going on kid?" He sounded so fatherly that Emily only imagined she was Charlie's age again with her father trying to comfort her after a bad dream.

"I don't know." Not for one second did he believe that, but he wouldn't press it too much, but she had always been there for him, so he owed her to at least nudge a little.

"What's on your mind?"

"I need to get out of here." She looked crazily around the room like an animal cornered in the wild looking for any escape route, and she wasn't even focused enough to speak directly to him.

"What just happened?"

"I feel like the walls are closing in on me. I couldn't breathe. I need… I need air." Her breathing was causing problems again and Dave was desperate to help.

"Tell me what I can do to help you." There was some panic, but he kept calm and put his hands back on her shoulders easing her back onto the bed and trying to get her to come back to him. "Tell me what I can do."

"Take me home." She pleaded. Looking straight into his eyes, he could see her pain.

Jokingly, he responded, "I usually wait for at least the second date to accept such a proposal." She didn't take to his humor like she normally would.

"Please Rossi; just get them to let me go home. I can't be here any longer." Not once in all the time he knew her had he seen her look so distressed for seemingly no reason, and it hurt him. He felt sick seeing her like that; hearing her so delicate.

"How about we go for a walk? I saw a wheel chair out there." He motioned for the door pointing to the hallway. "We'll go out onto the balcony."

"I know you mean well, but I just want to go home. If I stay here I might lose my mind. I'm already going crazy and… And I don't know how much more I can take."

"Ok, calm down." He took a seat next to her on the bed. "Can you tell me what happened?"

"Nothing happened. That's the problem. I just want to go home. Please get me the doctor so I can go home."

"Emily, you can barely stand for more than a few minutes at a time. You get winded from short walks. You're going to get better, back to normal, but you aren't there yet. Going home won't make anything better."

"It would make me feel better. It's what I need."

Knowing there was no chance at winning with such an adamant Emily Prentiss, he conceded. "Ok, I'll see what can be done."

The idea of a barely recovered Emily sneaking out of the hospital when the staff was away scared Rossi more than doing what she asked and sticking to her like glue. Venturing out of the room, right away he went in search of her doctor. No physician in their right mind would willingly release her, but if she wanted to leave, they weren't going to restrain her. It was her choice. Whether he agreed with it or not, he was going to be there for her. That point was only reinforced when he realized there was so much more going on in her head than just her injuries and healing. No, that healing needed to go far deeper.

The best he managed was getting Dr. Dillon to agree to meet with her. He knew that wouldn't make her happy. Getting her sprung probably wouldn't have made her happy, but he was doing what he could. The rest was up to her. When he returned to the room with the doctor, he could see she was still worse for wear. He listened at Emily was told all the reasons she wouldn't be released and he watched as the look on her face only got more determined. He was passive until he heard her say she'd sign whatever, she just wanted to leave even if it was against medical advice. That was when he felt in necessary to step in.

"Are you sure this is what you want Emily? He's advising you to stay. You're not ready to leave yet."

"I'm ready to leave. Believe me, I'm ready." She was convinced by the men in the room to at least humor them. She would stay for a few more tests and, barring any issues, if she still wanted to leave AMA, then they weren't going to stop her. It wasn't a complete win, but she knew that was the most amicable compromise that they'd come to and, so, she agreed.

The end result was still the same. Emily was in her room struggling to get her hands up high enough to slip into a shirt. In the end, after a good ten minutes of fighting her body's limitations, she settled on switching shirts to one of the button up pajama tops that passed for a daywear shirt. It'd have to suffice because she was busting out of that joint whether she went dressed for bed or bare naked. She was leaving. If she wanted to keep her sanity and get out of there with any bit of her dignity, she was leaving.

While Rossi made it adamantly known that he wanted no part in it, agreeing with the doctor saying that he wanted her to stay for at least another week or two, he still helped her with her bags and drove her home. Emily was a little embarrassed. She argued with everyone saying she could walk to the car and do everything on her own, but she barely made it fifteen feet before her legs practically gave out. Fortunately or unfortunately depending on who was asked, Dave was there to witness the stumble and catch her before she fell.

"Are you still sure you're ready for this?" He asked as if it wasn't obvious that she was nowhere near ready.

"I've never been surer. This is what I need." After that, Rossi said no more; neither of them did. The ride was beyond quiet. The only noise was the sounds of the car on the road.

Getting to the house was a little awkward. Rossi, somehow, still didn't know about the move. That was a weird way for him to find out. "You took a wrong turn." She informed him.

"No, I turn left at the end of this street and then take a right and your building is just around the corner,"

"That would be right, if I still lived there."

"What do you mean if you still lived there?"

"I figured either JJ or Hotch…" Saying the name was almost painful. "…would have told you. I'm sorry you didn't know. I moved."

"You moved?"

"To a house. I figured it was time. Just go straight after the light and head towards JJ's. I live a few blocks away."

"Ok." He'd add it to the list of things they needed to discuss. "How come no one told us? We went through your apartment."

"I was a little busy dealing with other things." Things didn't need an explanation. "I'm sorry though. But now that I'm home, I can have a housewarming party with a side of I'm sorry and please don't hate me."

"No one hates you Emily." He gave her a sideways glance, looking over in her direction while simultaneously trying to keep his eyes on the road. "We just wish we could've been there for you; helped you sooner. I would've loved to know about that little girl of yours. And out of everything, that's the one thing I don't understand. Why keep her from us?"

"Keeping her safe isn't a good enough reason?"

"Keeping her safe from us?"

"Never from you; any of you. Just to protect her from the world we live in, the people we deal with, and… and her father."

"Her father's a bad guy?"

"No, anything but. He just… didn't…" She caught her mistake quickly and, disheartened, she corrected herself. They didn't need to know that Hotch knew. "Doesn't know."

He took note of the specific word choice and opted not to mention it. The way she refused to look in his direction instead finding the neighborhood's shrubbery oddly fascinating told him she wasn't in the mood to discuss that. Again, it would have to wait. "So it's not Doyle then?"

"No, god no." It was established then. They knew all, _all,_ of her past with Doyle, and that unsettled her. What must they think of her?

"Are we ever going to know who it is?"

"Eventually… maybe. I don't know."

"We'll be here when you're ready, we're here now, and we'll be here after."

"You think that now." She said it so quietly that it was almost masked by the humming of the engine and the quiet lulls of the radio. Obviously, it wasn't meant for him to actually hear.

Soon they found themselves near JJ's street, but before turning onto it, Emily pointed him in a different direction. Giving him instructions, it only took a few more minutes before they were pulling into her driveway and he was helping her out of the car. He was very gentlemanly about it all. Not only was he doing whatever he could to help her, but he was purposefully avoiding topics she knew he wanted to talk about just so that she would be comfortable.

"Don't move." He instructed her after helping her out of the car. "I'm going to grab your bag out of the trunk then I'm going to help you inside." She didn't like that she was so reliant on others to just get around, but she wasn't going to complain; too much. She was just thanking the stars that she lived to see another day. Hopefully everything else would work itself out.

Once they settled into the living room, Rossi made sure she was relaxed. He got her a throw blanket that he saw resting on one of the chairs and draped it over her. He got her a cold drink and put the prescriptions they picked up on the coffee table in front of her so it would always be in arm's reach. Everything about him was so paternal and so loving. She missed that; she wished she gave her daughter that.

Sitting on the loveseat adjacent to her, he followed her stare to the play area outside and said, "It's a nice house. Big backyard."

"I love it." She responded removing her gaze from the glass doors with the perfect view of the outside. "So does Charlie."

"So Charlotte huh? Where'd that name come from?"

"It means feminine; womanly. And to me, that means more than just wearing pink cutesy dresses all the time. It means being a strong and independent woman. The name fit her. She was everything I imagined and more." He loved how light the mood became as they talked about Charlie. Emily's face lit up and she looked genuinely happy. "Charlotte Emily Prentiss." She left out the second middle name. Emily decided to give her two so that she'd always carry around a piece of her mother and father whether she knew it or not. Charlotte Emily Aaron Prentiss. It was a very powerful name according to Emily. It was one born through the union of her parents; two very powerful, stubborn, strong-willed individuals. It was a lot to carry, but there was no pressure. She was simply Charlie. A name was just a name. "And Charlie was an adorable nickname suitable for a tomboy or a princess. She is both."

"She's cute." Rossi reached over to the end table and pulled the picture closer to examine it. "Smart too. I think she taught Reid a thing or two."

"She has a way of surprising people."

"Kind of like her mom."

"I don't know. She's too good to be anything like me."

"What does that mean?" He asked worried about the statement's meaning.

"It just means that every bad decision I make always seems to hurt her the most. Sometimes I don't think I deserve to have something so beautiful and so innocent in my life. I might just ruin her."

"Emily…" It was a slightly, more than slightly, disbelieving tone. How could she think that?

"Don't Emily me. You've met her now. You've seen what I've put her through these last few weeks. Can you honestly tell me I won't screw her up?"

"I have no doubt that you will do everything in your power to do right by her. I've seen you with her a few times and she idolizes you. I don't think anything you can do will ruin her as long as you're around and continue to love her like you do."

"Thank you Dave."

"You underestimate yourself Emily. Everybody makes mistakes. It's how you handle them after that matters most. And, I think you're doing ok."

Emily scoffed. "You think freaking out at the hospital was me handling it ok?"

"No, that was your way of not dealing with anything. What was on your mind when that was happening? What happened right before?" There was no answering that without divulging more than she was ready to tell. She owed it to Aaron to let him adjust before blabbing it to everyone else. And if he decided he wanted nothing to do with Charlie, then it would never come out. So there was no telling Dave that a confrontation with her baby daddy triggered it.

"I wish I knew what that was. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't stay in there. I couldn't breathe and I felt trapped. That's all I know." He was skeptical but accepting. That was the best answer he was going to get.

"Ok Emily. You're home now."

"I'm home." And she was happier about that than she could possibly express. She never thought she'd get that chance again.

"Try not to overdo anything. Just stay on the couch and relax."

"I will."

"Will you be alright alone for a little while?"

"I've been on my own for a while now Rossi."

"I know, but you're hurt and not really mobile."

"I'm mobile!" She declared in such a determined way it made Rossi chuckle.

"Ok, you're mobile, but I was supposed to stop by JJ's and I'm due there any minute."

"JJ, we forgot to call her. I need her to bring Charlie here." He watched her start to nod off, her head bobbing as she fought the needed slumber. "She's not going to be very happy with me." The words were slightly slurred. Obviously the pills were affecting her.

"I'll take care of everything. Just sleep a little ok?"

"Mmmmkay." Rossi watched as her eyes closed and stayed that way before he headed out the door. He knew JJ would be worried and in the rush of Emily's persistence to leave, they forgot to contact her about the change of plans. So, he knew, if she brought Charlie to the hospital for a visit, they'd have a panic attack of their own. He didn't want that; no one did.

Although he was still worried about the brunette profiler and whatever caused her anxiety, he knew she was strong and would be alright in the end. At that moment, he just wanted to get to JJ's and help get a little girl home to her mother and, possibly, keep JJ from going on the prowl and attacking Emily for her rather foolish choice. He knew, that like him, JJ wouldn't be thrilled by Emily's, against doctor's orders, escape from the hospital.

Surprisingly though, JJ took it better than expected. He didn't know what he was expecting, but he wasn't ready for the calm JJ. But she understood Emily's need to get out of there. Emily needed some control, even more so since everything happened and all control was shot to hell. So she got it. But that didn't stop her from worrying. And said worry only got worse when Rossi explained how he found her.

"So she was actually having a panic attack?" That seemed so out of character.

"Yeah, luckily I was able to convince the nurse to let me calm her down before she stuck Emily with a needle. Emily would've hated that."

"Do you know what happened? What caused it?"

"No, she wouldn't say." They talked it out a little more, each formulating their own theories, none of which were right in the end. Time seemed to pass pretty quickly and Rossi headed home once JJ promised that after she dropped Charlie off, she'd either stay with Emily or at least check in on her every now and then. The first night home would probably be the worst.

Charlie was excited though. When they were packing up her things to bring back to the house she couldn't stop talking about how perfect it all was. "Mommy's finally home!" She started. "Now everything can be like it was again and she doesn't have to stay in that boring place." If only that were completely true. No matter how well Emily thought she was doing or what she told herself, there was still a long road to recovery and a whole lot of processing to do. It couldn't just be compartmentalized that time. She had to deal with it. "Now we can be okay again and we have all my toys and mommy can push me on the swing when the snow's gone!" With each idea she just became more cherubic.

"I know you're really excited Charlie, but mommy's not all better yet." Charlie dropped the toy in her hand and looked over to JJ with wide eyes. "What do you mean?"

"Come sit with me." Following the blonde's lead, Charlie took a seat on the bed. "I know you don't understand it all, but your mom left the hospital early. The doctors wanted her to stay longer so she could get stronger."

"But she's home now. She's fine."

"She's still hurt and we still have to be gentle with her."

"But she's home. That means she's better."

"She is better, but she won't be able to do everything she normally would. You're going to have to help her. We all are. Can you do that?"

"I love helping my mommy. She always helps me so I can help her too. It'll be fun."

JJ smiled at her sweet innocence and put a loving hand on Charlie's cheek. "I knew you'd say that. Let's finish getting your stuff together. I'm sure mom's going to be so happy to see you."

Packing didn't take long and the Prentiss household wasn't more than a few minutes away so the drive was fast. And the little girl was anxious. She had been waiting for this moment for some time and it was finally happening. She could cuddle up with mommy in the big bed, read stories, and make breakfast together. Things were finally alright. For appearance's sake, things were perfect, but they were truly far from it.

When they got to the house, it was quiet and dark. JJ knew Emily was still having headaches, more like migraines, so the lights were usually dimmed, but with the exception of the flashing lights of the TV, the house was completely dark. They quietly continued their journey inward. When they reached the living room they saw Emily sprawled out on the couch a blanket covering most of her body and an arm bent over her eyes. "Mommy are you awake?" Charlie asked.

"Shh, she's sleeping. Can you carry your bag upstairs and change into your pajamas?" She nodded. "Good, go do that please."

"Ok."

Once Charlie was out of the room, JJ cautiously approached Emily. "Hey." She said quietly hoping to ease Emily awake. The easing part didn't exactly work out. Emily jumped up and groaned in pain from the sudden movement.

"JJ?"

"Hi Em. Charlie's upstairs getting ready for bed."

"I can't wait to see her."

"She's excited too, but I'm worried about you." She looked around seeing the several pill bottles still resting in the pharmacy package and an unopened drink next to it. She didn't take her medicine.

"Why?"

"You shouldn't have left the hospital. Why did you?"

"I needed to."

"But why?"

"I just had to. Isn't that reason enough? I hate hospitals."

"You almost died Emily. You were in a coma for nearly two weeks. You, literally, only came around a few days ago."

"I know."

"You should still be there. Rossi told me about…" How was she supposed to word it without making Emily upset? "He told me about what happened." That seemed the most politically correct; saying it without actually saying it. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really because there's nothing to talk about. Nothing happened."

"Something happened, but we don't have to talk about it now." Sitting directly in front of Emily, JJ placed a hand on top of the brunette's and said, "Just promise that you'll come to me when you do want to talk and that if anything like that happens again that you'll come to me, that you'll call me. I'll literally be right by your side in no time."

"I promise JJ. Thank you for being there for me and Charlie. Thank you for being such a great friend."

"Everything you wrote to me in that letter goes for you too. I love you Emily. You are like a sister to me, and I will always be here for you."

"I love you too Jayje."

"Look, I know you're going to fight me on this, but I'm going to stay the night." Emily stiffened immediately and straightened herself out.

"No Jayje, absolutely not. You have done so much for me already, and I couldn't be more grateful or more thankful to have a friend like you, like all of you. But you have a family to be with. You haven't had much alone time with Henry or Will. So go home and be with your boys. I'm going to be ok." She was adamant and firm. JJ didn't see any arguing with her, but a part of her didn't want to. Emily was right. She needed time with her boys and Emily needed time with her girl, but she just didn't feel comfortable leaving them alone and helpless. Just thinking that Emily was helpless was absurd, but in the situation, it was true. Emily was in no shape to be alone and Charlie just wasn't old enough or tall enough to be the most effective helper.

"Fine, but let me call Garcia or Morgan. They've both been talking about seeing this place. They'd be more than happy to keep you company."

"I don't think so." It took some convincing, but Emily managed to get JJ to see things from her point. "I need to do this on my own. I need to know that I can. After everything that has happened, I just need to know that I can be there for her." That was the ringer. JJ understood that, and as much as she hated the idea, she agreed saying that she'd have the phone with her at all times and to call if she needed anything.

They said their goodbyes as Charlie wandered down into the living room and snuggled up on the couch with a book in one hand, Jazz in the other. Emily was determined to make it without taking any drugs and still doing everything they normally would. It was a battle she wouldn't win. With still healing ribs and a mess of other contusions and stitches and whatever else marred her body, moving was hard; walking was harder. So they opted for the couch. The plan was to read the story to Charlie and then tuck her in upstairs, but that didn't happen.

As they surrounded themselves in the warmth of the throw and got comfortable in each other's embrace, Charlie seemed happy. They both did. "Mommy, I'm glad you're here."

"Me too." Emily responded putting one hand around Charlie and pulling her tighter. Pain wasn't a factor at that moment. She just wanted to be close to her girl.

"And I had fun with JJ and Henry, but you can't leave ever, ever, ever again. I missed you too much."

"I'm not going anywhere." Everything that she put Charlie through was really hitting her. That was part of the reason she fought so hard to get home. They both needed it.

"You promise?"

"Cross my heart." Emily made an "X" gesture with her fingers over her left breast grazing the cauterized flesh and once again remembering the nightmare she'd been avoiding. For the time being, she was going to keep ignoring it.

"Ok. Here." Charlie passed Emily the book and they read it together. It was a long day for both of them. So it didn't take much for them to fall asleep. Emily woke up to the bright lights of the TV assaulting her eyes and the numbers on the clock telling her it was way after bedtime and not yet waking hours. Quietly groaning as she attempted to untangle herself from Charlie, she found herself questioning why she said no to having Morgan stay over. Not only was she in pain and too stubborn to do anything about it, but she had a sleeping five year old and a bunch of stairs to master. Stairs were not her friend. After Dave left and she tried to climb them, she barely made it up two steps before she slipped. As sad and pathetic as it was, it made her wish there was a man around the house, or, at the very least, she agreed to have someone stay. But she wouldn't be weak. She was a fierce female; nothing could hold her down. "Where's Hotch when you need him?" She asked herself, only reminding her that Hotch was angry at her and hating herself that much more.

It took some doing, but Emily got Charlie resituated on the couch so that she'd be comfortable. However, there was no comfortable for her. Falling asleep was tough, staying asleep was even rougher, and waking up was just the worst. Stiff necks and more aches seemed to be the norm for her, but she'd get used to it, she'd fight it, and she'd overcome it all. She had to. It was what needed to be done.

The next few days moved by excruciatingly slow. Emily was struggling more than she let on. She wouldn't tell anyone; she'd just grin and bear it. That was the way she operated. She was tired and restless and sore. Her nights were filled with little sleep because she always woke up with nightmares that she had little to no recollection of subsequently, and after an incident where she couldn't wake up from a nightmare, she stopped taking the sleeping pills. Then, on the third day home from the hospital, JJ found her one morning sitting in a completely black kitchen, shades drawn and lights off, her head buried in her hands. JJ was even more worried than she had been before. When she flipped on the lights, she could literally feel her heart stopping upon seeing Emily.

"Turn it off!" Her words were hurried. "Please turn them off." The migraines still weren't easing up, only getting worse. So the whiney desperate pleas weren't just for entertainment purposes. Giving in and taking one of the prescribed medicines was a last resort, but she did it and until they took effect, the lights needed to remain off.

"Ok, ok…" JJ was nervous and apologetic showing her surrender as she flipped the light switch and returned the room to its lifeless color. "Are you ok?"

"I'm great. I just like the dark." She wasn't afraid of the dark, but she didn't find comfort in sitting in it either. It just happened to be a necessity then. Darkness to ease the tension in her head or brightness accompanied by a blinding pain; those were her options. She hated it. She felt defeated and that only made the other feelings magnify. The amount of self pity she was feeling was abnormal, but she felt worse for everyone else. What she put them through… what they had to endure because of her… She should've done better. She should have protected them better. The whole point was to shield them from the mess, but she only dragged them all along for the ride. Maybe they weren't physically harmed like she was, but they were still psychologically tortured. And she couldn't get it off her mind that it was her fault. Whatever they were feeling was her fault. But she needed to push that out of her thoughts and put up her front. They didn't need to deal with any more of her baggage, especially JJ. She already asked too much of the blonde.

JJ wasn't dumb. She knew Emily was hurting, but she didn't know what she could do. Managing to convince her stubborn friend, with the help of the rest of the team, to even take anything other than the antibiotics was a challenge enough, And then, they only got her to take a single dose of the meds a day. The medicine for the migraines, Emily said, made her disoriented and unfocused. And according to her, she needed to be focused. Her daughter deserved that. Once Charlie was brought up, there was no more fighting it.

It was, no doubt, a struggle, but as alone as she may have felt, she was never actually alone. Charlie was always there to make her feel better, and to show her that innocence still existed and she didn't ruin that for her little girl. Everyday at least one member of the team would stop by, much like at the hospital. Sarah came by to help out as well and would soon be coming back to work. She was taken care of. They were taking care of her as much as she would let them. It wasn't much actual help, but she let them try, if for no other reason than to appease them. That she let them was just another reason that, as much as she wanted to believe they were, things were not back to normal; not for her. Charlie's life was back to schedule. Mommy was home and the rules stood, but mommy still wasn't the same. Even the five year old could see that. She had to be quieter because mommy had headaches. Emily couldn't play with her as much because it pained her to move too much. But she put up the best veneer she could. It probably would've been good enough to fool CIA, ISA, and all the other acronyms of the alphabet, but she couldn't fool the group around her. No matter what she told them or how much she pretended, they always knew the truth. She hated it, but she loved them for it and wouldn't deny them the only comfort she could offer. She should give them something to make up for the talks they'd yet to have and, very well, might never have.

By the end of the week, Garcia worked her magic. If she couldn't convince someone to do something, no one could; so the team always said. Emily didn't know how she let herself get talked into it, but Garcia got her wish. Much like Christmas, the gang would be celebrating New Year's together. Party at the Prentiss residence. She really had no idea how she let herself get talked into it. It was supposed to be at Rossi's and she was going to opt for a quiet night in with Charlie. But then, one second they were lounging around, talking about the latest tabloid rumor and the next thing she knew, they were throwing a party at her house.

"Come on Em, everyone wants to see you. You know serial killers have no respect for vacation time. We were already called in twice since this whole mess began. This could be the last time for a while that we can all get together."

"I don't know Pen. I'm not really up for it right now."

"Sugar…" She whined. "It'll be fun. And you don't have to do a thing. It'll be a house warming slash New Year's bash extravaganza. I can see it now."

"What can you see exactly?" Worried; she was beyond worried. No one ever really knew what she was thinking, but like her shopping habits, sometimes the infamous PG had a tendency to overdo it.

"Decorations, food, music… Oh! I have to go shopping." Her face lit up in childlike excitement. "I can take Charlie. We'll buy new clothes." Penelope could've rambled on, but Emily needed to say something.

"Don't you think you've bought her enough already?" The stunned and horrified look on her face spoke volumes.

"What part of five years to make up for hasn't sunk in? This is just the tip of the iceberg Gumdrop." She gave a "you should have known that" look. "There are shopping trips abound in our future. Little E and I will conquer the malls."

"I don't think I like where this is going." The woman was distracting her from the point. The problem was that it was working. "We had this talk already. I'm not resistant to her charms either, but she's already spoiled. You give her something every time you see her. Don't you think that's enough?"

"Five years Em. Five years!" She had been hearing that a lot. Hotch and Garcia; five years seemed to be the magic number.

"Eventually, that argument's not going to work."

"But for now it does. I really don't understand your objection to me buying her new things. It's like you and Jayje just don't want your kids to have fun with Auntie Penelope. What's up with that? I'm supposed to be the cool aunt. How can I be that if you won't let me give them cool stuff or take them on shopping sprees? I mean, who doesn't love a kid in a leather jacket? It should be standard issue at birth." The long winded rambling continued on before she used a tactic she knew was sure to work. "So would you like a new outfit for the party too? Because I'm taking buttercup and we're going now." She threw that in to mask it, knowing she'd get her way if it took some time to register and separate from the rest. It helped that Emily wasn't quite back to fighting speed. Brain power was a little slow. "Coffee or tea?" Garcia called as she entered the kitchen to make drinks neither really wanted.

"Wait, what? Garcia!" There was no arguing after that. Garcia had won. She had gotten her wish and New Year's was going to be celebrated at Emily's whether she wanted it to be or not.

That was how they all ended up there. It was a Thursday night and everyone was gathered at her house. Morgan and Garcia got there early. The blonde needed muscle to set up decorations Emily vetoed. Obviously her vote didn't count. At the end of the day, she really didn't care. Her house was covered in tacky designs and the order she once knew was turned to chaos, but so what? Charlie was happy. Her friends seemed happy. She learned to live with it. The only problem then was her.

All day was spent dreading the get together, but she'd swallow her discontent and smile through it. They were doing it for her, and she was doing it for them. It'd be worth it in the end. That's what she told herself. It would help them heal and move the Doyle stuff into their pasts. That was a lot to ask of a party, but, if she had to pretend to be ok, she better come out of it better than she went into it. That was what she was hoping for. And in some ways, that was what she'd get. In others, she'd end the night devastated and worse for wear.

By six that evening, everyone was there. Garcia showed up at her doorstep at three with bags of not agreed upon decorations; very Garcia. And as much as the brightly colored, tawdry décor was headache inducing, it was also fun and festive like her friend. That's why she put up with it. It was what it was and she just dealt with it. These people loved her and she loved them. They became her family, and now her daughter's as well. With that in mind, despite her need for alone time and quiet, she was happy they were there. She was happy they so openly embraced Charlie without question and made her feel welcomed and loved just like the BAU did her all those years ago. But at the same time, it was a reminder that she refused her daughter that comfort, that joy, for five years of her life, and it took a near death experience to force the truth out. Thinking that and so much more, it was hard to enjoy any festive occasion. But the biggest thing that made the night incomplete was one absence.

"Where's Hotch?" She asked the group. What she was expecting, she didn't know, but a part of her hoped he'd be there. There had been no communication since he left to his mother's. She sent a random text, but never got a response. She was expecting something; any form of communication back.

"He can't make it."

"Oh…" Disappointed, yes, but what would him being there really get? It would make an awkward situation boozy and awkward. That was rarely a great combo. The only thing that promised to bring was an uncomfortable tension between the brunette duo and questions from the rest. She was sure neither was ready to answer those questions. She had years to deal with it all and hadn't yet. He had days and was nowhere near done processing it. That much she was certain of.

"I called to invite him and tell him we moved the party here." Garcia started.

"Me too." JJ added. "But he just reminded me that Rossi was in charge if it was work related, otherwise he didn't want to be disturbed unless it was an emergency."

"I wonder what bit boss man in the butt." Emily apparently…

Rossi chimed in then. "I think it's just him finally taking some time with Jack and dealing with the divorce." And his long lost daughter; don't forget that Dave. Dealing with that on top of everything surely didn't ease the situation. "He could use the time off too."

"He could."

"How long until the divorce is finalized?" As solemn as the topic was, JJ was curious.

"Yeah Rossi." Morgan teased. It was the best attempt to lighten the mood and still get answers. "How long? You should know. You've been married and divorced enough to know these things." Although it was just a bunch of playful banter between friends, Emily didn't like where the conversation was heading.

"Well that depends."

"On what?"

"You have to be legally separated first."

"You do?"

"Six months to a year. With Jack I think it's a year."

"That sucks."

"Have they been separated again?"

"Hotch spends an average of 12.5 hours in the office on a normal day excluding days where we have cases or are away, but as of late his times have been varying. Recently, his pattern has been similar to the last time he and Haley were going through a separation. So it's plausible to conclude that they have been going through this for some time." They shouldn't have been, they really shouldn't have, but they were all still surprised by Reid's observations.

"Why do you know that Pretty Boy?" Morgan asked the question everyone was thinking. The other question was how. How did he know that? He wasn't even there after hours. "Don't explain Reid." Morgan stopped him before he could go into one of his factual rants. It was supposed to be a party.

"Now that stalker here got that out of the way," Garcia said, "Rossi can continue what he was saying."

"There's nothing else to say."

"So if they haven't been, they have to stay separated? They can't just sign the papers and be done with it?"

"That's not the way it works." He tried to explain. And he would know; he went through it enough. "The only way I know that they could just sign the papers and move on is if there's proof of adultery." Oh God! Emily paid extra attention to that one. "Even if they were separated, if there was proof of relationship, they could just sign them. But Haley and Hotch don't seem the type to cheat." It took everything she had not to have a spontaneous coughing fit. She was all the proof they needed. Charlie was all the evidence. Assuming Hotch was indeed on break from Haley, permission or not, they had an affair. They had a child. Now he was getting divorced. The mess she made…

"Oh-kay…" At that point, she was desperate for a subject change. She shouldn't have brought him up in the first place. "Who wants alcohol?" That always seemed to do the trick, and boy could she use it.

Emily disappeared for a few minutes to collect herself. She felt on the verge of another panic attack. There were so many thoughts and not nearly enough compartments in her brain to organize them. But plastering a smile on her face, Emily came back popping open a bottle of wine and even breaking out some of the good stuff. The kids even copied the adults with their grape juice. Emily, unwillingly, kept to nonalcoholic beverages. She was all for a good time, but it wasn't a good idea to mix narcotics with ethanol. Even wild child Emily, who she let out every now and again, wouldn't do that without good reason. She needed to keep some control and she couldn't do that with drugs and booze floating around in her system.

As the true party started and they moved away from the topics of Hotch and divorce, Emily found the kids playing in the kitchen. They clearly needed to spend more time around children their own age. It was apparent they spent way too much time with the 21 and over crowd. "What are we supposed to say Charlie?"

"I don't know."

"What do you want to say?"

"I don't know. I think we should say something happy. That's what the grownups do. Sometimes they say it for a person when they put the cup in the air." Emily leaned back, sinking against the archway watching them, and pulling her phone from her pocket. They were two of the three greatest kids on earth and she had the pleasure of calling one of them hers.

"To Charlie." Henry stated as he lifted the glass into the air.

"To Henry. And mommy. And your mommy. And all the team too." Charlie mimicked his actions. As they clinked their glasses, a radiance of happiness and innocence, Emily snapped a picture. It was one of many that night, but her favorite by far was the one she took soon after that. Charlie had the biggest toothy grin after Derek tossed her in the air and twirled her around. The whole scene was hilarious. Garcia kept nervously saying, "Watch out for the ceiling. Watch out for the ceiling!" But even so, Charlie just kept laughing and enjoying herself. And once it was Henry's turn to fly, she went running over to Emily screaming, "Did you see mommy? Did you see? Derek taught me to fly." And she put on the year glasses that Garcia insisted on buying along with one of those stupid party hats and just jumped around with this unabashed exuberance. Emily got her to stand still long enough to snap a photo, the party gear still on and perfect view of the tooth she recently lost. It was her first tooth to fall out and the picture showed it off. There was a hole where her bottom tooth used to be and, if Emily said so herself, it made her even more adorable; if that was possible.

Not sure if it was the right thing to do or not, Emily sent the picture to Hotch with a brief message. _Don't know what you're thinking. Thought you might like this. Lost her first tooth this morning. Happy New Year!_ She wanted to say so much more, but it was a text and the picture spoke volumes. She couldn't give him her memories or turn back time, but she could give him new firsts and include him in everything she could. There was no pressure. He didn't have to be in Charlie's life; not as her father. But she wouldn't stop him if that was what he wanted. She wanted him there, but the ball was in his court. The next move was his.

Everybody had a lot more fun than they thought they would. But after Emily sent Aaron the message, she found it hard to pay attention for too long. The more time that went by and the longer she waited for a response, the more she felt like sending it to him was a mistake. Was it the wrong thing to do? She was just trying to do the right thing. Charlotte Prentiss, although she didn't carry his last name, was his daughter. He told her he missed out on so much. Her first lost tooth and that cheeky smile was something she could give him. All she wanted was to include him. Was that so wrong? She could never make up for the past, but she wanted to give him the present and the future if he wanted it. That was all.

Was it wrong that she felt depressed? Her baby wasn't a baby anymore. Said baby's father was angry at her. She almost died not that long ago. But she was trying to make things better. She lived and she wanted to make the most of it. And as she waited for some sort of reply from Hotch, she did her best to join in on the fun. There was dancing and food. Rossi's food was always his best contribution, and stuffing her face helped. Even with all the lighthearted commotion and happy people around her, she just couldn't shake the bad feelings. Apparently, she wasn't covering it up very well either.

"Are you taking pain medicine?" The question pulled her from her thoughts.

"Why? Do you want some?" She joked.

Smiling, JJ said, "Did the doctor say if you're allowed to drink? It looks like you could use it; you know drink the day away."

"That sounds nice. How about you drink the wine and I watch you?"

"More for me then." JJ began pouring herself another glass as Emily's phone went off. She knew it was a text, and she knew who it was from. With the exception of Sarah and Clyde, both of whom she talked to earlier that day, and Mike who was still sailing, everyone she really talked to was there with her. It had to be from Hotch. And as she read the message, her heart dropped. Why did everything have to be so hard?

_Thanks Prentiss. Another reminder of what I missed. Happy New Year to you too!_

Noticing Emily's shoulders slump and overall demeanor change, JJ became curious. Last time Emily did that after a text, everything with Doyle happened. "Are you ok?" Emily remained silent. "Who's that from?"

"No one." She finally spoke after pulling her focus from the phone. "I think I'll take that drink now." And oh could she use it. That was good enough reason for her to do what she said she wouldn't.

"Are you sure?" After receiving a death glare, JJ justified the question. "I mean, with your medicine. Is it ok with your medicine?"

"It's fine. I'm a big girl. I can handle it."

While reluctant to comply, JJ knew it wasn't her place. So she poured the wine. "If you're sure."

"I am thank you." JJ would make sure Emily was taken care of and that things didn't get out of hand. Whatever that text was sent Emily off balance and JJ would keep an eye on her for the rest of the night. They didn't need another Doyle.

By the end of the night, Emily was half in the bag and she didn't even drink that much. Two small glasses of wine wasn't a drunken make. But combine it with pills and, apparently, anything's possible. They all seemed a little on the tipsy side, with the exception of Reid who chose to be designated driver. As hard as they tried, the kids barely made it to 10:30 before passing out mumbling, "Is it midnight yet?" Not able to break her daughter's heart and tell her she didn't make it to midnight, she dished out a harmless lie. "Yeah baby. Happy New Year."

"Happy New Year mommy." She muttered, and then Morgan carried her up to her bedroom so the others could carry on with the grownup party. It was a safe assumption that they'd all wake up with some sort of headache in the morning; except for Reid of course. Come midnight and the bunch were rowdy. They all stood around the living room watching Time's Square on the TV until the countdown began.

"10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…" They counted together. "Happy New Year!" Emily watched as the couples shared kisses; mainly JJ and Will. Garcia and Morgan shared a little something too, but that was how their friendship worked. She felt left out, even though she shouldn't have. She wasn't the only one alone, but she spent so many years without someone, wanting him but never admitting it. Even in a room full of people, she was alone, and she made it that way.

She had no idea how she made it that long, but when the party dwindled and everyone started leaving, Emily was happy. She was tired and tipsy. All she wanted to do was sleep because she doubted Charlie would sleep much later than normal and it was already almost 3 in the morning. After saying quick goodbyes, Emily disappeared for a while. Eventually JJ found her.

"Hey, Will and I are just about to head out."

"Am I a terrible person?" It was a blunt question that came out of left field. She completely ignored JJ's statement, but instantly sobered both of them.

"What?" Asked JJ, a little taken aback.

"I am, aren't I? I'm a terrible person."

"No you're not. Don't say that." JJ took the seat next to Emily, gently pulling her closer.

"I am. I've kept her from him and now he hates me."

"Who hates you?"

"He hates me JJ and I deserve it. I did nothing but lie to him when I should've been honest."

"Who are we talking about?"

"I told Charlie's father about her existence." That, she wasn't expecting.

"And?" Instantly forgetting about a waiting Will and Henry, JJ became enthralled by the probability of honest conversation. But Emily didn't say anything. Instead, JJ watched a solitary tear fall from Emily's face. She never thought she'd see that happen. "It didn't go so well huh?"

"That's an understatement."

"What happened?" Like the alcohol was draining from her body, the loose and tingly feelings turned to concern.

"It was terrible. He… He…"

"JJ you ready to go?" Will interrupted.

"Not now Will." She basically scolded him for interrupting. "Emily and I were…"

"Just saying goodbye." Emily finished for her.

"No we weren't."

"Yes we were. Go home with your men Jayje. We'll talk soon. I promise."

She was reluctant to leave. Her friend seemed distraught and so unlike herself. "You'll be ok?"

"I'll live."

"You better." JJ teased. "I'll call in the morning."

"You better." She teased back.

They talked things out the next day. Emily tried to explain as best she could without actually explaining. There was no mention of Hotch and what he said. All she told JJ about was her telling the man and him being more than shocked. He was angry and hurt, and that was what she told JJ. It was all the truth. Slowly things weren't so hard anymore. Sunday was the last day before the kids went back to school and the rest of the BAU crew went back to fulltime work. Emily would remain on medical leave until she was cleared by both a medical doctor and psychologist. She wasn't looking forward to any of those appointments.

It was Sunday and she still hadn't heard anymore from Hotch. Why would she? She wouldn't blame him if he never spoke to her again. She couldn't even imagine what work would be like when she returned; if she was allowed to return. All she wanted was for him to talk to her, to hear her out, and maybe, although it was reaching, work things out with her. But the anticipation and likelihood of any of that happening dwindled more and more the longer they stayed mad at each other and kept from communicating. The only highlight of her days was Charlie and her reaction to the tooth fairy's first visit. The excitement of a dollar under her pillow was enough to make Emily forget everything else for, at least, a little while.

Noticing the still foul mood of their friend, JJ and Garcia threw a last minute girls' night. Will took the kids for the afternoon and left them to their own devices. He had been extremely understanding and willing to help Emily in any way. He knew the team would do the same if it was JJ, or even him, in her position. So he wanted to help too.

So the women gathered together and did their thing. They wanted to drag Emily out of the house, but she wasn't ready. Both physically and emotionally, Emily was stressed and forcing her out of the house wouldn't help that. Being around all those random people, having to strain herself further when showering was about as much exertion as she could give without actually passing out, and having to act like all was ok when it obviously wasn't didn't sound like a good time. They wouldn't force her to do that and they wouldn't want her to have to put up appearances just for them. So they settled on a simple night in. It wouldn't be much different than it was before.

Sunday evening, they ordered pizza, opened an expensive Merlot, and gossiped in the comfort of Emily's dining room. For a while, Emily felt at peace. It was the first time since everything she felt that way without Charlie there too, but she felt safe in the presence of friends; family. But it faded fast. She still felt comforted by their attendance, but she wasn't herself. She opted to go dry; no alcohol or pills so she could keep a clear head and enjoy herself, but there was only so much pain that could be ignored. Her company seemed to pick up on the changes too. As the day progressed, they noticed that Emily's movements became stiffer, her body always tensed, and she always looked so pained. It was obvious to them, if not by the visual cues alone, but the way her voice sounded as she spoke, that Emily was neglecting to take care of herself. They tried to subtly tell her that drugs were her friend, they were prescribed to her and taking them didn't make her weak. Emily just brushed them off. She was determined and stubborn and no matter what they said, she'd do what she wanted. Apparently, that meant suffering when she didn't have to. And if they really wanted to analyze her behavior, they'd see that it wasn't just about not seeming weak, but about thinking she deserved to suffer. And they definitely didn't agree with that.

But before any of that, they just had some innocent conversation. At first it was an anecdote about something Derek did on one of his dates that Garcia happened to witness. Then there was some talk about the children and they asked how Charlie was handling everything and if she was excited to get back to school. And then, like it so often did, the talk quickly turned to the BAU. They asked about Emily's presumed return and when she thought that would happen. Emily became more upset when she said she didn't know. What else was there to say? She really didn't know. From there, somehow, it went to Hotch. "You know, I hacked into the schedule and Hotch took another day off." Garcia nonchalantly mentioned.

"He did?" It was a surprise for all of them, so it was no coincidence that both Emily and JJ asked that at the same time. Hotch rarely took time off, even after being in the hospital. If it wasn't mandated, he wasn't taking it.

"He requested the day off and Strauss approved."

"I don't know what's weirder, Hotch actually choosing to not come to work or Strauss okaying it."

"I don't know either. Boss man must have something going on." Emily couldn't help but feel like that something was her; her deceit and untimely disclosure.

"Oh, we should so totally snoop. Em, where's your computer?"

Managing to turn that idea down, they went back to formulating theories. Each one was more outrageous than the last, but it was amusing. They just kept coming out until they were so ridiculous, all they could do was laugh. "Who wants wine?" JJ asked. It was about time they opened the bottle. Emily declined at first. She could've drunk then. There was nothing in her system that would react with it, but she wanted to hold out. Eventually, though, she gave in. "Refill anyone?"

"Fill me up Jayje." Emily said as she slid the unused glass toward her friend. Garcia looked fidgety and nervous.

"Are you sure you should be drinking?"

"I'm sure."

"But do you really want to?"

"I really do."

"Is something wrong Pen?" JJ asked curiously. Something was way off; she just didn't know what it was.

"No… Nope… Fine." Her words were nervous and unsure, but it was quickly forgotten as they fell back into the ease of girl talk.

"Bathroom break!" JJ halted the conversation. "I'll be right back." She informed them before leaving.

It didn't take long for Emily to really loosen up, but not intentionally. Her words were slurred. Her eyes were unfocused. To the outside world she looked like an everyday addict. At first Garcia was only a little concerned. Emily had been drunk before. It was nothing new. She was going to be fine. Right? Concern grew, however, when Emily started spouting random things.

"He's my vanilla Adonis; the not so black Morgan. My white chocolate hunk of clapping thunder."

"Is she ok?" JJ asked as she returned and witnessed the unraveling. The last time she saw Emily like that was on New Year's and even then, it was a milder version of it.

"I did a thing."

"What kind of thing?"

"I may have slipped her some of her pills without her knowing and she may or may not have imbibed just a little when she really shouldn't have."

"Penelope!"

"What? She was in pain and I couldn't help it. She looked so, so… broken." She tried to defend herself. "She wasn't supposed to drink, especially not as much as she did. I told her not to!"

"Obviously she did. That's dangerous."

"Well what do we do?" In the background, Emily could be heard mumbling, rambling about this and that.

"Who is she talking about?"

"I don't know." JJ said before turning back to Emily and asking. "Em, who are you talking about?"

"You JJ."

The blondes couldn't help but laugh. They were sure even Emily didn't know what she was talking about at that point. "I'm your vanilla Adonis?"

"Don't be silly, you're not a man."

"Ok Em, I think you need to sleep this off."

"But mommy, I'm not tired." She was out of it.

"Yeah, help me get her to the couch Garcia." They helped their friend out of the chair and to the couch. "How much did you give her?" JJ asked. Emily wasn't Emily at that point, and JJ needed to make sure that it wasn't a lethal combination.

"Just what the bottle said."

"Garcia!"

"I was trying to help her. She's too stubborn to do it herself. I tried to get her not to drink." They didn't know whether Emily was taking the pills regularly or how her body reacted to them, but, at least they knew she didn't have any that day. However wrong it was, Garcia was just trying to help, but it was definitely affecting their friend. Luckily, they managed to get her settled on the couch and she quickly fell asleep.

"Should we stay with her?"

"I think she just needs to sleep it off."

"Are you sure?"

"She's going to be fine by the morning." JJ quelled an upset Garcia. "I'll get Charlie settled and they should be fine for the rest of the night.

"I didn't mean to do this."

"I know." They waited and watched her for a little while before JJ called Will and asked him to drop Charlie off. He was glad to. He loved the little girl, but she was still clingy with her mother and kept saying she wanted Emily. Distractions only went so far. Even so, they had a nice time, but she wanted to be with Emily. No one could blame the kid.

Once Charlie arrived, Garcia took her exit, apologizing once again for the mess she made. JJ stayed for a little longer. She got Emily awake enough to say goodnight to Charlie and JJ did the rest, explaining to Charlie that mommy wasn't feeling well. With Charlie tucked in her bed, comfortable and asleep, all that was left was Emily. She needed to check on her. When she got back down to the living room, Emily, too, was asleep, or almost asleep.

"Are you going to be ok?" JJ quietly asked.

"Ok. Tired."

"I know. Sleep. I'll call you tomorrow and make sure Sarah is here."

"Ok JJ."

"Maybe I should stay." She said worriedly.

"Go. Go, go, go, go… Sleep now."

"Alright, you sleep now."

"Mmhmm." With one last glance, JJ left.

In the dead of night, Emily awoke to a crashing sound coming from outside her door. The consistent paranoia in her, even in the less than sober state she found herself in, told her not to ignore it, but it simply could've been a raccoon. Or worse, it could've been a skunk. But then she heard the door opening and a voice spitting profanities. She recognized that voice and all panic ceased.

"Hotch?" She wearily called out while trying to stay quiet and no alert Charlie.

"Emily." He responded and she put the gun she reached for back in the end table drawer.

Flicking on a dim light she asked, "What are you doing here?" She was dazed and confused. The past several hours were all a blur. The entire time spent with her best buds was a mere figment of her imagination; she couldn't tell what was real or not. "Am I dreaming? What time is it?"

"Are you feeling ok?" He asked concerned as she rubbed her temples and squeezed her eyes shut.

"No, not really." She looked up to him with her bloodshot eyes and raging headache. "You never answered. What are you doing here? Last I heard from you, you were telling me I was the she devil."

"Are you drunk?"

"No, no. I think I was accidentally drugged." She was almost positive she remembered hearing JJ or Garcia say that. "Why are you here?"

"Lay back down." He gently forced her head to the pillow. "We need to talk." She could still sense the anger and resentment in his voice.

"Now?"

"Why not now?" Because it was the middle of the night. But that was too sensible an answer.

"Because I miss my bed." Sure, she had been strong enough to make it up the stairs, but it made coming down harder. Sleeping downstairs and only going up when Charlie needed her, made life easier. That didn't mean she didn't miss the luxury of her own room.

"What?" What did that even mean? Was there a right way for him to respond to that?

"I miss my bed. I miss sleeping in it, I miss lying in it, and I miss cuddling in it. I just miss it."

"Do you want me to take you to bed?" It wasn't meant as provocatively as it sounded. He just wanted her to be comfortable and willing to talk to him, whatever it took to get to that point.

"Are you trying to take advantage of my delicate condition Sir?"

"You're hung-over or drunk or whatever… and I'm not taking advantage. I'm offering assistance."

"With which problem?" He ignored that question.

"Come on Prentiss. Let's get you to bed."

"I can do it myself." She insisted as she pushed him away. He was trying to lift her up and carry her. She wasn't having that. He was still angry. Any fool could see that, but he was still being sweet and she didn't understand why.

"Please let me help you." He pleaded as he saw her stumble and reach for her side.

"Argh." She groaned in defeat and let him aid her. "I still don't get why you're here. You want to talk, but the last time I tried to extend an olive branch, you snapped it in my face and told me I was rubbing it in. I never wanted to keep you from her." Nothing else was said as he got her up the stairs and to her room. Kindly, he laid her in her bed and pulled the comforter over her body. "There's no turning back you know. Once we have this talk, there's no turning back."

"I know; no turning back." But they were going to do it anyway.

**Another super long chapter… I hope that makes up for the wait. My schedule should return to normal now that the family returned to the home country. **

**Next chapter will be a little more Hotch centric and will deal with him leading up to the talk. And they will be having a talk. I already started it.**

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**


	14. A Week in the Life of Hotchner

**I don't know if Hotch's mother's name was ever mentioned on CM. If it was, please tell me and I'll correct it. In this story, I called her Helen.**

Chapter 14: A Week in the Life of Hotchner

Agent Hotchner was at a loss. He couldn't even begin to accurately describe what he was feeling. He didn't know what he was feeling. There was so much of this, a little of that; it was hard to make sense of, let alone differentiate. It was a numbness spurred by too much sensation. After leaving Emily at the hospital, he went straight to pick up Jack. Seeing his son calmed him. A simple hug made him forget everything else for a short while. But he quickly became heated again; he just wouldn't let Jack see that.

"Are you excited buddy?" Talking diffused the situation.

"Yeah dad, I miss Grandma."

"I know. We haven't seen her in a while, but I she'll be happy to see you."

"Are you happy too daddy?" Was he happy? Did he know if he was happy? If only his son knew how much depth that question carried.

"I'm happy bud. I'm especially happy that we get to spend time together."

"Me too Dad. How's Emily?" Of course his kind and caring son would ask about her. They raised him right, but he didn't want to discuss Emily. That would defeat the purpose.

"She's fine. Are you ready to go back to school soon?" Jack was a kid. He shouldn't have had to dodge subjects, but talking about Emily meant thinking about Charlie and he really couldn't do either with his son in the car. He needed to figure things out for himself before bringing Jack into the know. And when he did that, he'd also have to inform Haley. That wasn't a conversation he was near ready to have. For years she was on him about his job. Once she even called it an affair, then telling him an affair might've been better. That they could work through. His job was just a continuous obstacle. He'd bet money that she would instantly take that back once she found out about his other family.

And what about his mother? His brother? How would they react? What would he say to them? Just thinking about it made him feel like he was developing an ulcer. How could he possibly answer any questions, explain anything, or do anything when he, himself, didn't understand at all? His mind was reeling, but he needed to focus. His son was in the car and he was driving; he couldn't afford not to focus. An accident wouldn't help anyone. So to distract himself, he kept up the small talk with Jack before the young boy became tired and fell asleep. After that he was left to the chaos that became his mind.

He had no idea how he made it there without crashing, but he had never been so grateful to pull into his old driveway. Taking a deep breath, he shut off the engine, walked to the back seat, and carefully unbuckled Jack. Carrying the sleeping boy in his arms, he walked up to the door and rang the bell. There was nothing left to do but wait and push all thoughts out of his mind. As hard as that was going to be, at least for the following few hours, he had to clear his mind and be with his mother.

"Aaron, you're here!" His mother greeted him cheerfully.

"Hi mom."

"Oh, poor boy." She said when she saw Jack. "He must be so tired from the trip. Why don't you put him in your brother's old room?"

"Sean's not still here?" Hotch asked as he made his way down the hall and laid Jack into his brother's bed.

"No. He was hoping to see you before he left, but he had to get back home for work tomorrow." He heard her say as he returned and took the seat across from her.

"That's too bad." She leaned towards him. "We missed you at Christmas."

"I know. I would've been here, but…"

"But your friend got hurt. How is she anyway?" Things got uncomfortable for him. Somehow, the object of his conflicting emotions seemed to be everyone's favorite subject.

"She's doing well." He answered quickly.

"That's great. She's lucky to have friends like you there for her."

"Yeah. You know, I'm tired mom. I think I'm going to grab the bags from the car and get settled." Standing, he looked over to her for permission he really didn't need.

"Get some rest Aaron. We'll talk in the morning." She stood too, and walked over to him, embracing him in a hug. "It's good to have you home son."

"It's good to be back mom." He responded as he returned the hug. His mother ran to the kitchen to fix a late night snack for the two as Hotch went out to the car

For what felt like hours, he stood solitary. He stared at the box; the Charlie box. Lingering on it, having the internal debate; it wasn't helping him figure out what to do. If anything, it just made him look crazy to any witnesses. As he took the two duffel bags from the trunk, he decided. As much as he wanted to figure things out, he wanted peace too. For just one night, he was going to forget everything. He was going to go back into the house, get his son in his pajamas, shower, and sleep on it. For just one night, things would be normal again. If only…

When he returned to the house, his mother was waiting for him. Kindly she offered him some tea and cookies to help him sleep. "It was a long drive. You're probably hungry and with everything that has been going on, the tea will help you relax." She explained.

"Thanks." That was all he could think to say. There was still so much on his mind, so all he could do was accept her gesture and move on. "Goodnight mom."

Although clearly worried, she let it go. "Goodnight my boy." The hard questions would come in the days that followed.

Sleep didn't come as easily as he wanted. Showering, drinking tea, and watching old reruns on TV; nothing he did helped bring him solace. All he did was toss and turn until finally, he couldn't take it anymore. Although it was already two in the morning, he went back out to the car and pulled the box from his trunk. Just having it with him pacified him. He couldn't explain it. Even if he could he wouldn't know how, but it was like a piece of her was there too. And that, just having the box in his room, not even going through it, was enough to get him to sleep. He didn't sleep well, but he slept, and that was something.

The peace didn't last long though. "Daddy! Daddy!" Jack yelled as he jumped on the bed next to his father. "Grandma said to wake up. She made breakfast."

"Oh yeah?" He asked groggily turning to face his son. "What did she make?"

"French toast! We haven't had that in a long time!"

And there was his first reminder of everything he tried to ignore. _"She likes French toast and strawberries for breakfast, but not too many strawberries because if she overdoes it, she gets hives. It's an allergy she seemed to outgrow." _Emily's words would follow him. Even the words she didn't say would always be there.

"Alright, go eat and I'll be right there." He needed a private moment.

"Ok!" Jack scurried off as Hotch went into the bathroom. He missed the good ole days of his childhood bedroom. Times were simpler then, but he wouldn't trade what he had to go back either. There was always a catch 22. Simpler times meant missing out on all he had and he just learned that he had so much more. It was just a matter of wrapping his head around the concept of a daughter.

Time wasn't a concern as he stood in the bathroom staring at his reflection. Pulling a slip of paper, that had been burning holes in each pair of pants he wore, from his pocket, he held it up to the mirror. With the picture of Charlie unfolded and staring back at him, he looked for any and every similarity. All he saw was Emily. And that didn't help him. He was livid with Emily. Seeing Emily in her made him frustrated too. But he couldn't take out what he was dealing with on an innocent little girl who did absolutely nothing wrong but exist; and he was happy that she existed. As crazy as it was, he was happy. Everything was so confusing. Staring at the picture was just making him more upset, so he put it away and wet his face. Maybe the cold water would wake him up and snap him out of the funk he was in. It was unlikely, but he was willing to try. However, no amount of cold water would fix things.

"Daddy!" Jack yelled as he knocked on the door. "Grandma says hurry up because the food is getting cold. We don't want cold food dad."

"I'm coming right now Jack." The pitter patter became a distant noise as he took one last look in the mirror. He was going to figure it out. He had all week to work through it, and then he'd have it all figured out. He had to, because if he didn't, he'd just miss out on more time.

"Aaron, there you are." His mother practically scolded as she watched him saunter into the kitchen. "We thought you'd never join us."

"Sorry, I just lost track of time." Normally he would've been up, dressed, and ready an hour before everyone else, but the day, the week, the past few weeks were all anything but normal.

"Well, eat up. There's plenty to go around."

"Jack, what do you want on it?" What would Charlie eat on hers? He knew she liked strawberries, but did she like syrup too? Or maybe she was more of a powdered sugar girl. There was whipped cream too. What kid didn't like whipped cream.

"Syrup! Lots and lots of syrup."

"You got it." He put on a semi forced smile and served his son. It was the little things like enjoying a breakfast with Jack and his mom that made him realize just how little he knew about Charlie and just how much he actually missed. He wasn't there for over 1800 breakfasts, lunches, and dinners. Knowing Emily, it was probably desserts too. Opening the fridge and pulling out the syrup, he immediately noticed the opened container of strawberries and couldn't help himself. Along with the intended condiment, he took out the strawberries too. Today he'd eat like Charlie would. French toast with strawberries…

"I've never seen you eat strawberries with that before." His mother's voice startled him from the picture in his head. He was imagining what breakfast in the Prentiss house was like. Was she a messy eater like Jack and he were or was she more prim and proper like he imagined Emily to be? He literally envisioned her sitting across from them, her little hand wrapped around the fork struggling to cut the food into small pieces and a little drip of syrup on the corner of her mouth. Proper yet messy too; a little of both her parents.

"I saw them and thought I'd try something different." She was wary to his answer, but they were just strawberries and there were no other reasons to read more into it, even if his behavior had been off since their arrival. That wasn't much to jump to conclusions about. All she knew for sure was her son was acting weird.

The rest of the day was spent helping his mother shop and playing outside with Jack. They had activities planned for several days including day trips to local attractions and simple quality time between Jack and Grandma. But there first full day there was simple. A few hours grocery shopping and picking up the essentials with Helen Hotchner and then they were playing in the yard.

It was still a little cold out, but the sun was shining bright in the sky and with the right jacket there was no threat of frostbite. It was just a father and son playing on the snowy ground as the lazy day passed them by. Would they have done this all together if Jack knew about Charlie? Would the three of them be a family? Or four, if Emily was counted. Would she have to be counted? And where did Haley fit in?

Everything was so distracting. Knowing the Charlie box was in his room waiting for his attention, that his daughter was back home, processing that; it kept him from being all there with Jack. And it wasn't fair, but Jack didn't notice. He was still having a good time messing around in the melting snow doing things every father should do with his son, or daughter, at some point. Even if it was simply making poorly assembled snowballs or throwing a ball, they were spending quality time together, and that was more than he could say about his other child.

He shouldn't have felt the way he did; guilty and ashamed and irked beyond words. It wasn't his fault, and he barely saw Jack enough as it stood, but he couldn't help it. The more time he was with Jack, the guiltier he felt. He found out he had a daughter and he left. Granted, the plans were made before hand, but they could've been put off for a day or two so he could work some things out. But he didn't. He was where he was and he owed it to Jack to be present. But then the guilt about Charlie bit him. He realized then, that no matter where he was, it would be a no win situation. Until his head was clear and his decision final, he was really no good to anyone. It wasn't fair to anyone either. He blamed Emily. It was all her fault. It was fine when they were just suspicions, but knowing the truth, having her confirm it, it just made his world explode. Much like humpty dumpty, it might never be put back together again. No matter what the outcome, nothing would be the same.

"Come on bud, time to go inside."

"Do we have to?" Jack whined.

"It's getting dark and cold. Come on." He tried to entice him. "We'll eat dinner, change into our pajamas, and watch a movie before bed."

"Really?"

"Really, but only if we go in now."

"Ok!" With a smile on each Hotchner's face, they returned to the house. Dinner, pajamas, movie, and story time all went smoothly. Hotch expected nothing less. And after saying goodnight to his mom and turning in for the night, he was left with nothing but the noise of his own thoughts. Jack…

Jack was an easy kid to please. He was wise beyond his years and stronger than he ever imagined a seven year old could be. For a kid, he had this uncanny ability to comfort anyone around him. And he didn't even really have to try. He was perfect. From the moment he was born and the first time Hotch saw him, he was perfect. Hotch had never met another kid quite like him.

But then he met Charlie. And, though he didn't think it possible, she was just as perfect; and he thought that before he knew exactly who he was to her. She had been through so much and she was still going. She was, like her brother, so strong and smart and a fighter. Nothing could hold her down. Brilliant and brave and so independent; that was his daughter. But she also had this vulnerability about her. It pained him to see it, but that just made her more like Emily. They were two of a kind.

He wanted to stop thinking about her; about Emily and Charlie too. A part of him wasn't ready to deal with any of it, even if he knew he had to. Truly facing it meant understanding everything. He'd truly have to understand that he wouldn't be able to have those firsts with her like he did Jack. Would he be able to teach her how to ride a bike or did Emily already do that? What about swimming or whatever else there was to learn?

There were just so many questions that only Emily could answer for him and he wasn't ready to look her in the eye and not want to explode. Again, all he wanted to do that night was sleep. The world could be put on hold another day. Couldn't it? He was never much of a procrastinator, but he was then. Truth doesn't always set one free. Would this one?

Trying to sleep was a waste of time. Just like the night before, it was impossible. The box haunted him like a ghost. If it had eyes, he was sure they'd follow his every move like one of those creepy paintings. And in the quiet of night, all he could hear was Emily. Everything she told him about Charlie, everything he learned while Emily was in a coma, it all played on repeat, but the last thing she said was what got him out of bed.

"_Read the letters in the box. It might be hard, but it will give you some insight. Maybe they can help you understand my side a little better."_ That was the last thing she said before he ran from her sick bed to the comfort of his own car. Did he want to read the letters? What could they possibly say that would help him? And, perhaps his biggest question; was he ready to see her point of view? Was he ready to forgive her or try to?

"Argh!" He jumped out of bed. "Just do it Hotch." He said to himself. When he finally stood in front of the box, he hesitated. He was reluctant to reopen the can of worms. His daughter's life was confined in that box along with her mother's perspective. Looking through everything made him feel closer to both of them, yet so much farther away. It was like gaining a little piece of them just to lose a little piece of what he thought he had. Whether or not that was a good thing had yet to be determined. But he didn't hesitate for long.

One last deep breath and a few lingering thoughts, and he typed in the code. 603111. Her birthday. November 13th, 2006. Where was he that day? If he remembered correctly, he wasn't on a case. It was a rare quiet day at home with Haley and Jack. He could've been there. If Emily had told him, he could've been there. He could've held her as she took her first few breaths. Hell, he would've even been there for Emily. There was no denying it. After the party weekend, he thought about her. He tried not to, but he did. So if she called, if she told him, he would've been there every step of the way; doctor's appointments, nursery shopping, everything he could do, just like he tried to be with Haley.

"You can do it." He encouraged himself, immediately breaking his previous internal rant. Flipping through the letters, he searched for the one that looked the oldest. Later, he'd realize they were in chronological order. Emily; always so organized. Finding the one he wanted, he took the letter from its paper home and began reading it.

_Dear Aaron,_

_I'm really hoping you remember me well or this would be really awkward, especially since I could never forget you. It's Emily, Emily Prentiss; the ambassador's daughter. We slept together about two months ago. I'm not sure where to send this letter. I'm not sure if you'll ever get it, but this is me telling you what you need to know. _

_I'm pregnant._

_Yes, it's yours. There's no question._

_Believe me, it was a shock for me too._

_Looking you up was difficult. Eventually, I had to go through my mother. She, by the way, doesn't know yet. My mother wouldn't approve. An unmarried, knocked up daughter won't make a politician proud, but I hate politics, and my life isn't her business. That's not the point though. In order to keep the peace, I'm not going to tell her. At least, I'm not telling her yet. Eventually I will. So if you happen to run into her, just don't mention anything. Still not the point. I got a number for you from her. _

_I did try calling. A woman answered and I don't know. Maybe it was the wrong number. It could be out of date. I don't remember you having a sister, so I'm pretty sure that wasn't her. Maybe that was your girlfriend. Or worse, maybe that was your wife. I don't know. Whoever it was, it wasn't you. And after a few more failed attempts, I gave up. So I'm trying this. _

_I don't know what to think of this; of being pregnant now. There are so many things going on in my head right now that I can't pick one thing out from another. At first I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what you would want me to do. But then I remember how I found out. I got sick. A friend had to rush me to the hospital. The doctor told me I was pregnant and I was stunned. I was happy and scared and everything else you're probably feeling right now, although, I don't know if you're happy. And then, my heart felt like it was cracking in two. He informed me that I could lose the baby all in the same breath. Everything's ok now, but that was when I realized that I want this baby more than I ever thought I did._

_So with or without you, I made the decision. I'm going to take care of myself and have this baby, our baby; our undoubtedly perfect baby. He or she will be loved and cared for and no matter how nervous I am, or how scared I feel, I've also never been so sure before. This is what I want to do. I really hope that you're ok with that because I'm not changing my mind. _

_Maybe I'm crazy. I wouldn't be the first one to think it. I barely know you, but I feel close to you. I haven't seen you for years, but when I saw you again, it was like we've been the best of friends forever. Doing this, having this baby with you, whether you're a part of it or not, may be either the best or worst decision of my life, but this is what I'm choosing. Your choice is your own. _

_I know you didn't plan on this happening. I know I didn't, but it's happening anyway. It took me a month to write this letter and I'm still debating whether I should. After the calls I questioned whether it was a good idea to contact you further, but I owe it to you to at least inform you. This is me doing that. _

_I had my first OB appointment for the baby. You were invited, but I couldn't get a hold of you. I included the sonogram picture. Maybe that will make things a little more real for you. Our kid's perfect and healthy. I don't know if I want to know the sex, but that's a decision for later. In the meantime, we need to figure this out. I'm giving you all my information. Everything you need is here._

_Call me… or don't. You can write me back. No pressure. _

_Everything is there for you. The rest is up to you. _

_Emily Prentiss _

Closing the letter up and staring at Charlie's first picture, he guessed he could understand where she was coming from then. In the beginning, she was just nervous. It was a new experience for her. That he understood. But not sending the letter, not trying harder to get in contact with him, that wasn't fair, and that he did not get. He didn't deserve that and neither did their child. But then he looked more carefully. It was addressed to his old address, and marked return to sender. She probably thought he wanted nothing to do with her. And then he felt guilty again. She did try. Yes, she could have tried harder, but she tried. And to top it off, she must've talked with Haley. He couldn't imagine that being easy. And he couldn't imagine what she must've thought of him. The things that must've crossed her mind. He was in no position to judge her, but he did. It wasn't something he could control. All he saw was a woman who kept him from his child; his only daughter. It didn't matter that she was a friend or a colleague; she was just the bitch that kept his son from knowing his sister.

Trying not to dwell on that thought, he moved on. He went through several more letters. There must've been a good thirty or so there. Each one documented some sort of life moment. There was one from each doctor's appointment. Some included pictures. As angry as he was, he could still admit that pregnancy looked good on Emily. She was glowing and beautiful. But he should've been there. And it was that fact that kept him from feeling anything else for longer than a brief wave of emotion.

He didn't even get through half the letters and was already bombarded with so much new information. Emily was in France. The doctors said she was doing well and the baby was healthy. Emily had written him about every little thing in great detail. The first movement, the first kick, what part of the baby was supposed to be developing at the time… It was all there. And he loved reading every single line she wrote, but he had to stop on his last letter. It was the twenty week ultrasound. She said that she wanted to know what she was having. She needed to know so she could buy everything the baby would need; everything he should've been there to help pick out. _It's a girl!_ She wrote, but that wasn't what made him stop there. In that letter was also the picture the doctor printed out. It was clearer and detailed. It was the first real image of the life they created. He remembered seeing that with Haley; them arguing who Jack looked more like. Did he have Hotch's nose or Haley's lips?

Those cutesy moments were lost with his daughter and he would never get those back. So for some amount of time, so long he lost track, he just stared at it. Images of all the memories he missed out on flickered through his mind. He was there for the first kick, his hand pressed firmly against Emily's bulging stomach. He was there when they found out it was a girl. "She looks just like you." He would've told her and Emily, being the pigheaded woman she was, would've argued the point saying that their daughter was going to be the female version of him. Oh god, how he wished he had that.

But he only had that in his mind's eye. It felt real even if it was nothing more than a conjured fiction of his imagination. Staring at the picture made it real for him. She was perfect. She was everything Emily described and more. And even seeing her at five years old, knowing what she looked like, seeing her there, while still in the womb, still beautiful; it was a different kind of experience. The only thing that would've made that moment better; seeing it and living it better, would've been actually being there; holding Emily's hand as the doctor told them that was their baby. And a part of him felt jealous. Jealous because there was someone there holding her hand, going through all the parental things they go through, and doing all the things he should've been there doing. He thought the same thing over and over, but the weight of it all never fully registered. Once it did, he realized that he should never ask Emily who was there as his stand in. He should never ask who was the Hotch replacement because he'd likely kill them. Whoever he was, and Hotch was sure it was a he, he got what Hotch wanted. He got to be a piece of the beginning. How was he supposed to get over missing that and everything else?

Again, his thoughts consumed him as the still image had him mesmerized. He didn't know what time it was when he finally fell asleep. All he knew was that when he did fall asleep, and when he woke up in the morning, the sonogram was still clutched in his hands like a life line. It was his lifeline; a lifeline to his daughter. But he didn't know what he was doing. He didn't need a lifeline. His daughter was just a few hours away. He could be with her, with her and Jack… and Emily. He just needed to figure out to what extent. What was it that he wanted at the end of the day? What did he want?

He didn't have any answers. But he'd spend the next several days trying to find them and make sense of what he did know. And every night would be a ritual. He'd spend the day being normal. In waking hours he was Jack's dad and Helen's son. He was a good man. But at night he was consumed by the box. Most of his time he would substitute reading for sleep. Another one of his favorites was the birth.

_Dear Aaron,_

_It's November 13__th__, 2006. Our daughter was born today. Just hours ago, she was born. She's early. A whole month early and she choose the middle of the night to make her grand entrance, but she was so worth every pain and every ache. God, she is absolutely breathtaking. Never in my life have I seen anyone so beautiful. And she's mine. She's ours. _

_I wish you were here to do all the things a father should be doing. _

_I wish you could meet her and see how magnificent and magical she is. _

_I wish you could hold her and feel her soft, warm touch against your skin and just know that she's a part of you and me. _

_Labor was long and hard. We tried to prolong it as long as possible, but she just wasn't having it. She wanted out. Who was I to tell her no? Don't believe what people say. The pain isn't just forgotten. There is no after birth amnesia. But I'd go through it all again for her. Our baby is tiny; one of the smallest I've ever seen. She only weighed in at five pounds, but she's healthy. The doctors are probably going to keep her a little longer to make sure she stays that way, but we have a little fighter on our hands and she's going to be just fine. I'm so happy she's here. I can't imagine what she'll be like when she's older, though, if she's already fighting to do things the way she wants. She's going to be hard to resist. That's for sure. _

_She's the best part of me. But I'm terrified. When she was inside of me, it was different. All I had to do then to keep her safe was take care of myself, but now I'm truly responsible for another life. And I'm alone. I'm doing this alone and that reality scares me. It's just me and her against the world and I'd do anything for her. But I don't know if that's enough. She's so fragile and small. What if I break her? I don't want to break her._

_I just don't want to ruin her like my parents ruined me. Everything about her is so new and innocent and I don't want all my baggage to rub off on her or affect her in any way. She deserves more. My insecurities shouldn't be hers. But I promise that she will always be loved. And she'll know that you love her too. It doesn't matter if it's true or not, but I'm hoping it is. She will always know that her father is a warm, good man who loves her very much. And one day she'll ask about you and I'll have to come up with something. But whatever I tell her, know that I'll never speak ill of you. No matter what you do or where you are, you gave me her and for that I'll be forever grateful. I don't have it in me to tell her anything negative about you. I'll come up with something when the time comes. So don't worry about that._

_She is my gift; my perfect little angel. I couldn't love her more than I do. The moment I heard her cries and I knew she was ok, my heart swelled with so much pride. That was my daughter. I made her. I gave her life. It was amazing. It was a feeling I never had before. And when I first held her, I made her a promise. I told her I would do anything for her; whatever she wanted, whatever she needed, I'd do whatever to get it for her. I never meant anything more. _

_Meet your daughter. Charlotte Emily Aaron Prentiss. I gave her both of our names so she will always have us with her to protect her and guide her. I don't think the pictures I included do her justice, but she is still the most precious thing I've ever seen. I love her so much. And I'm making you a promise right now._

_With everything I have, with everything I am, I promise to give her the best life possible. She will want for nothing. She will experience all the good the world has to offer. And I'm going to give her that. She'll never be alone. She's going to have the best life she can. _

_Congratulations, you're officially a dad._

_Emily_

The big, strong Aaron Hotchner actually cried while reading that one. He couldn't imagine doing it alone like Emily had. Even Haley had him most of the time and they had family around. But who did she have? He wasn't there for her. And while that wasn't his choice, he had to give credit where credit was do. Emily did what she promised. She raised a spectacular little girl with impeccable manners and the sweetest smile. That was her doing. He had no part in that. It pained him to even think it, but maybe, for those years at least, they were better off without him. Who knew if she would've been the same girl otherwise? Like with everything else, he just didn't know.

It genuinely seemed like she wanted to include him. Why else write the letters? Why else give pictures? Even in his emotional and furious state, he knew Emily wasn't vindictive enough to do it out of spite. He knew she wouldn't do it just to hurt him and show him what he was missing out on. That wasn't her. And, even if he wanted to, he couldn't bring himself to think that. But he'd forget that later.

By Wednesday, things got a little out of hand. For a vacation, he sure wasn't sleeping. When he was around others, he did his best to be all there, but his mind was always clouded. No matter how there he was physically, mentally, he was elsewhere. And people were starting to notice. By people, he meant his mother. Jack was too little to pick up on anything other than daddy being in a bad mood. But Aaron really did his best to cover it up in front of Jack. His mother, however, saw right through him. It was hard to fool her. So, that evening, after Jack made his nightly call to Haley and was tucked away in bed, she approached him.

"What's going on Aaron? You seem more stressed now than when you first got here? Is this about the divorce?" She lovingly questioned. Her concerns grew deep. He looked like he aged years over night and she knew something was bothering her son.

"No. The divorce was a long time coming. Haley and I love each other. We always will, but it's not the same love anymore. We could never get passed my job. We finally decided to cut our losses and part as amicably as possible." Not that it would be amicable after the new revelation was let out. That wasn't a conversation he was ready for or looking forward to having.

"Then what is it Aaron? I could hear you pacing all night." Her face looked like she was begging for information as she took a seat opposite him. Her son was hurting and he wouldn't tell her why. "I'm worried about you. Tell me what's going on."

"It's nothing." He was pacing that night while staring at the picture of Charlie and Emily. They looked so happy and he had to wonder where he'd fit in. Where would his family, his other family, fit in? But he wasn't aware that his mother could hear and he hoped Jack slept through it.

"Obviously it's something. Whatever it is, it's keeping you up at night. You're distracted all the time. So tell me. Tell your mother what's has you so rattled." He was reluctant, but holding it in wasn't getting him anywhere. He was seconds away from exploding and, while he wasn't ready to let it all out, he could unburden himself a little. His mother was always good at giving just the right type of comfort.

"I… I guess…" He didn't know what he wanted to say. He wasn't ready to tell his mom about her new granddaughter. He had a right to get to know her before everyone else did. "I'm just confused." It wasn't a lie. He was confused, frustrated, and angry, but mostly, he was confused

"About what?" She asked curiously. If she could help, she would, even if she was just a sounding board to bounce things off of.

"Remember that coworker that got hurt?" He started. He wasn't quite sure how much and what he was going to say, but he had to say something.

"Yes, she was taken or something like that. Right?" Aaron nodded.

"She was kidnapped." After hunting down her attacker.

"What's she got to do with anything?"

"She has been keeping secrets from the team." It came out with such force. His anger was hard to conceal. He couldn't help it.

"From you, you mean?" His mother always knew the true meaning behind his words.

"From everyone." He clarified. She knew better. He was hurt because he was out of the loop. Sure, there was more to it, but that was a big chunk of it. "She was keeping so many secrets and some of them were dangerous. She could've died. She endangered the lives of our team by keeping quiet. Innocent lives could've been lost."

"And you're upset… as her boss or…?" She offered a knowing look. She knew there was more to everything, but she'd go with his flow. He just responded with a stare before speaking.

"As her boss," he reaffirmed, "I don't know what to do."

"Is she allowed back on the team?"

"There are conditions, and she'll have to go through a disciplinary board review, but as long as we show our support, she should be back on the team."

"Do you want her back on the team?" That question blindsided him. Did he want her back on the team? Would he be able to work with her as if nothing had changed? Clearly it had. She almost died. How would anyone trust her again? There was so much damage done and he didn't know if the team would be cohesive again. But it was more than that to him. Did he want the mother of his child in the line of fire again? She was the only parent Charlie knew and depended on. Could they risk losing her again? Seeing her son's face etched with deep thought, Helen took the chance to continue and pull him back. "What is it that you're mad at?"

"What do you mean?" He thought the answer to that was obvious. She had to be asking something more.

"You care about her." Where did that come from?

"What?"

"Aaron, my boy. If it's affecting you this much, there has to be more to it." Like a daughter from an affair no one knew about?

"There's not."

"What did she lie about?" She didn't want his anger to get the better of him. She could see it on his face. There was more to it. They all put their life in danger every time they're out on a case. Whatever the girl did, it had to have some sort of affect on him that went deeper than a simple lie.

"What didn't she lie about?" That was what he wanted to say, but not what he did. Instead, he said, "Someone was stalking her. He threatened us."

"And…"

"She has a daughter."

"So?" She laughed. "You have a son. What's the point?"

"No one knew. She didn't tell anyone about her. How could Prentiss keep something like that from the team? We were supposed to be her friends."

"You are her friends Aaron. And I'm sure she had a reason to keep things hidden from you. She did what she thought was best for her and her daughter. I would do the same for you and your brother too." Like only a mother could, she put her hand on his and made everything seem better for that brief moment. "Think about it. Ask yourself why she did it? Did she have good reasons? Did she do it to hurt you? I don't think she did, but that's for you to decide. I don't know the full story. But from what I can see, this is about more than your team. Did something else happen between you two? Did you try talking to her?"

"We talked."

"And? Did you work anything out?" No. Things just became more complicated and, really, they only danced around the subject. Doyle was barely talked about at all. And at that point, he really didn't care. That monster was dead. His issues with Emily were very much alive and kicking.

"She is a confusing woman. She is strong and brave, but she is stubborn. She has to be independent and she refuses to ask for help. All she had to do was ask for help." All she had to do was tell him and he would've been there. And he wasn't talking about the Doyle fiasco.

"You're struggling with all of this, and I'm not even sure what this is, but you need to deal with it. There seems to be more to this than I know, but it's getting to you. And as your mother, that worries me. But you have to work through it because this isn't a way to live. You look rundown and tired. You barely have energy to be with your son, although I know you're doing your best. Why is this bothering you so much? None of you were hurt. She was trying to protect you. You can't fault her for that."

"You don't get it." He snapped. Every word just made his rage grow, but he shouldn't have taken anything out on his mother. So he did his best to rein it in.

"Then tell me what I don't get." A granddaughter… He wanted to tell her. She always wanted more grandchildren, but there'd be too much explaining to do and he didn't know how to do it. He still needed someone to explain it all to him.

Standing up to go, he said, "I think I'm going to bed. Thanks for the talk mom."

"Aaron…" She stopped him from leaving just yet. "Just think about everything. Relax a little, and answer this. What is it that has you so upset and can you get passed it? If you can't, then what do you do? Perhaps the biggest question you should ask is why you're feeling so singled out. Is there something there? Is it something else that's getting under your skin?" If only she knew… If only… "Just figure it out because this animosity isn't good for your health or your relationships." There was so much more both could've said. He wanted to tell her and she wanted to know. But he wasn't ready and she knew that. Her son was tough so whatever it was had to be serious, but she knew it was more than the lie; more than that lie. He would come to her when he needed her. In the meantime, she gave him a lot to consider and more questions to answer. He'd be ok. She was confident about that.

After the conversation, he went back to his room and jumped back into the letters. He read about the first days home from the hospital and the first smile. He read about the first time they saw each other at Quantico. That one was particularly revealing. It explained what she was feeling. How nervous and conflicted she was to see him again and there of all places and even more so after she learned he was her boss. That complicated things further. She explained that she wanted to tell him right then and there, but she, literally, couldn't find the words. There seemed to be an abundance of roadblocks in her path to him, but he couldn't let that be an excuse. She shouldn't have let that been an excuse. He couldn't fault her for not telling him right then. How many women would have the courage to tell their new boss that a reckless bout of passion led to a baby? But she had years after that to tell him. They saw each other every single work day. Didn't it bother her?

Emily was right though. Reading the letters helped him see her side of things. She was a scared single mother. She was the one who had to carry all the burdens. When Charlie got hurt, she was the one that had to quell the cries. And when she was sick, Emily had to be the nurse maid. But not once did she complain. Not once did she write that he needed to be there to help. She told him her feelings and said how she fixed things, but never talked about what she lacked. That made him a little sad. She didn't need him. She was strong. She was perfect, as was their daughter. But she did say he could be a part of their lives. She wanted that.

Thinking about all that he read and everything his mother said, it was getting hard to differentiate one thought from another. He was confused and angry. But at the same time he was excited and hopeful for the future. So many things came from having a daughter that didn't come with having a son. And now he had each. He could experience both. So why wasn't he? The only answer that he could come up with was Emily. And then the flame that was his anger was ignited once more.

Thursday, New Year's Eve, things really came to a head. Things were ok, for the most part. He was still angry and confused, but after talking with his mother, he learned to cover it up better. He was doing a fairly good job too. They were having a quaint little family get together. His brother even stopped by. Seeing him again was great and Jack was happy too. But he couldn't stop himself from thinking about everything his mom asked him and everything the letters said, and all of the pictures. It was just so much and all he wanted to do was enjoy some time with his family. But the more he tried to push the thoughts back, the more present they became. Still, they were having a good time. The boys tossed around a football as Helen prepared a feast. They offered to help, but it was the first time Aaron looked relaxed and she didn't want to lose that. They all looked so happy. Either her son worked through his problems or he was ignoring them. No matter what the cause, they all seemed happy, so she was happy too.

And the day continued on just like that, until Hotch got a message. "Aaron!" Sean called from the dining room.

"What is it?" He asked as he came into the room.

Pointing, he said, "Your phone just went off." That was odd. He talked to several members of the team earlier in the week. They were having a party and wanted to offer an invite. It was supposed to be at Dave's. And either way he couldn't have gone since he was at his mother's, but when they moved it to Emily's… Well then he was dead set against it. She shouldn't have even been home yet. No one was supposed to call unless it was an emergency.

"Pass it to me please." Sean threw the phone to his brother. "Thanks." He said sarcastically. He almost didn't catch it and the brothers shared a laugh as he struggled to keep it in his hands, but the humor quickly faded when Hotch opened the message.

_Don't know what you're thinking. Thought you might like this. Lost her first tooth this morning. Happy New Year! _Scrolling down, he saw the attached picture and, for a moment, he was contented. She looked so cute with her missing tooth and she looked so blissful. But the anger quickly swelled again.

"Damn it." He hissed.

"What is it? What's up bro?" Sean asked as he made his way over. "What is it?" Being the nosey younger brother he was, he tried to get a peak at Aaron's phone. But Hotch quickly put it away. He didn't want to write back yet. His first thought was calm and happy, but as he was about to type, it turned vile and ugly "Who's it from?"

"It's nothing. Let's go." Hotch didn't give Sean a chance to respond, he just left the room and went straight to Jack. His son always calmed him and he needed that.

Hours passed and he still wasn't over it. And every second he was alone he was staring at that picture or imagining something else he missed or even looking at one of the other photos from the letters. The anger wasn't dissipating. It was growing because all he did was remind himself of what he lost. He couldn't see what he gained. So in a lone moment where the anger was at its height, he finally responded to Emily.

_Thanks Prentiss. Another reminder of what I missed. Happy New Year to you too!_ He shouldn't have sent it. That was obvious to him right after he hit the button, but in the moment it felt right. It was a release, but it was wrong. Just earlier he was thinking that she wouldn't do anything to intentionally hurt him. Sending the picture was a peace offering and he sent her a flaming bag of dog poop on her doorstep. She may not have meant to hurt him, but he wanted her to hurt the same way he did. What was wrong with him?

Staying with the family until well after midnight was hard. He was miserable and there was only so much he could do to conceal it. He could feel Sean and his mother stealing glances every now and again. He was being transparent. But they got by. Jack was trying really hard to stay awake. Sean and Hotch watched him as he did the head bob. Jack would sit on the couch, his head falling down as he dozed off, and then bam; he's up again and looking around to make sure nobody saw. It was amusing. It was a light in Hotch's darkness. And when the kid fell asleep around eleven, Hotch put him in his bed, which they were sharing so Sean could have his room, and just watched him sleep. It was the first moment of true contentment he had since they arrived. Hearing the soft breaths and watching him cuddle into the blanket calmed him. But it didn't change the rest of it.

Going back out to the rest of them was hard. He didn't know how to handle Emily and he didn't know how to hide it from his family. His life was a mess. Everything from his thoughts to his actions was on a repetitive cycle and he wasn't sure when or if he could break it. But he was trying. He came out with a smile and they all sipped some bubbly as they watched the ball drop. The countdown sounded and at the stroke of midnight a round of "Happy New Year's" filled the air.

In his head he wondered if Charlie and Emily were doing the same thing. Was she still up and fighting the sleep to be there with the team. "Happy New Year Charlie." He said. Even if she couldn't hear him, he knew he said it and that was what counted right then.

Going to bed that night was simple. He couldn't read any letters or pace the room because Jack was there sleeping. Waking him with his brooding didn't seem like a winning parenting strategy. So, he tried to do what any normal person would've been doing from the start; sleep. It didn't come easy. It hadn't for a while, but with his son right beside him, it was a little easier. He just lost himself in thoughts of childhood and innocence and the two beautiful children he had. And for once, it wasn't about what he didn't have or didn't get to experience, it just was. He was a father to two, not just one. Accepting that allowed him to get the sleep he needed and allowed his anger to subside for the night.

"Jack…" His son didn't want to wake. That happened when bed time was pushed back by hours. "Come on buddy. I think I smell grandma's waffles."

"Waffles?" He mumbled. That always did the trick.

"Yeah, do you want some?"

"Uh huh." He rubbed his eyes as he got out of bed. "Daddy?" He stalled Hotch's movements.

"Yeah?"

"Happy New Year."

"Happy New Year son. Come on. We'll go get breakfast and then you can call mom."

"Ok."

He didn't know what was different about the day. Nothing changed. Maybe it was just time, but it felt different. The anger was still there. Every time he thought about it, a place in his heart just burned like molten lava, but there was only so long a person could hold on to one emotion. It was like the stages of grief. And while he wasn't quite done with the anger portion of it, there wouldn't be any point in bargaining. The denial came first and it was short lived. That happened before he really knew. He was denying it to himself when he refused to ask Emily what he knew was a possibility. The depression went hand and hand with the anger. And the acceptance would take some time. He was getting there, he just wasn't there yet.

As the day went by, however, his resolve faded. He wasn't openly irate, but he kept drifting. Not once did his mind rest. And their last full day there seemed to just fade away. It was already night and Sean would be heading home soon. He and Jack were leaving in the morning. A whole week was wasted and he didn't have anything to show for it. He was still just as confused as ever.

"Aaron… Hey… Aaron."

"Huh?" He was finally pulled from his thoughts by his brother continually saying his name.

"So what's going on bro?" No answer… "Is it Haley? It's Haley isn't it? I could totally send my girl to go kick her ass."

"No, it's not Haley. But thanks for the offer." He joked around with his brother. It was nice to see him and be around the family he didn't get to see very often.

"Then what is it? Because you have mom thinking you have cancer like dad did."

"What?" Where'd she get an idea like that?

"Yeah, when you and Jack were outside yesterday, she pulled me aside all nervous and what not. When I asked her what was wrong she asked me if you said anything about being sick."

"Why?"

"She rambled about how depressed you've been and how when she asked you about it you gave her some bullshit excuse…" Hotch cut him off.

"She actually used the word bullshit?"

"Well, no, but that's not the point. She said you gave some crap excuse about a coworker and lies. But she didn't buy it. It's now my sole purpose in life to get the truth out of you. So what's up?"

"It's nothing Sean." His fury was finally fizzling into a passionate wrath. He didn't want it to boil again. "Really. You know mom. She's overreacting."

"I don't know. You've been distracted and distant. You're acting funny. Dad did that too. I can see where she's coming from."

"I'm not sick." He clarified. That was all he needed; worry his poor mother over an illness he wasn't afflicted with.

"Then tell me what it is?"

"Everything I said to mom was true."

"So this is all about some lie? Dude, you weren't even the one to get hurt. She was the one that almost died."

"It's not just that."

"Then what?"

"Here's a strictly hypothetical…"

"Ok…" He waited. Aaron didn't tend to do hypotheticals.

"You sleep with a girl. It's a fling." It was more than that and he knew it.

"Alright I like where this is going." Sean had a devilish smile.

"About a year later, give or take a few months, she comes and works with you."

"Where's this going?"

"Just listen." The anger was back. He had to get it out even if it was set as a fictional situation. "You work together well. You have a pretty good relationship. You're friends. Fast forward five years and she's distant. She's in trouble and she doesn't go to anyone for help. Then she almost dies and all her secrets come out."

"What kind of secrets?" Sean got into the story. It was like a little kid being read a book.

"A terrorist was after her and she had a kid. It's yours."

"Back up. Is this about Kelly? Did she say something? That kid's not mine."

"Who's Kelly?" More confusion…

"No one, never mind. So there's a kid?"

"What would you do?"

"If I found out I had a kid I didn't know about?"

"Yeah, what would you do? How would you feel?"

"I'd be pissed. No, I'd be beyond that. No matter what went down between us, I still had a right to know my kid. And I'd probably fight her on it. I'd do a test to make sure the kid's mine. In the end I'd try to work it out so I could be there… But what does this have to do with you Aaron? You've been with Haley for years. It's not like you have some kid running around out there." A tense silence took over. Sean looked to his brother and read that it wasn't so hypothetical after all. "You do? You have a kid out there somewhere."

"Sean…" Why did he feel the need to open his mouth?

"Boy or girl?"

"Girl." There was the declaration of truth. There'd be no more denial.

"Name?"

"Charlie."

"When did this happen?" He ignored that one.

"Here." Hotch said as he handed him his phone.

"This her?"

"Yeah."

"She's beautiful. Mom's going to love her. How old is she?"

"Mom's not going to know until I tell her." He elucidated. "And she turned five in November."

"Got it, don't tell mom. But this is what has you going all haywire? You have a kid?"

"I missed out on so much time." His voice was elevating.

"Relax. I get it. But you've been sulking. That's not you. What are you doing about it?"

"I'm figuring it out."

"What did you do when you found out?"

What did he do? "We talked and I left."

"You talked or you yelled?"

"There may have been some words exchanged."

"So you yelled at her and then you just left?"

"I was planning to leave with Jack that day. I would've been going anyway. But no, she told me to go."

"Who is this woman?"

"Emily Prentiss."

"Didn't you work for her family a while back?"

"That's how we met."

"Tell me what happened. She told you and what? What did she say?" He explained what happened as best he could. Starting from the letter and moving to the box and the confrontation. "You could've handled that better."

"She kept my daughter from me. I don't see how it could've gone better."

"Alright." He didn't want to fight and Sean could see that it was heading that way. His brother was fueled and ready to be lit on fire. "When did you see her for any of this to happen?"

"The ambassador threw a party. She was there. I spent some of the weekend with her."

"So you cheated on Haley…"

Hotch spoke up to clarify. "I didn't cheat on her. We were legally separated and agreed that we could see other people."

"But how'd it happen?"

"We were drinking, not drunk. We started dancing. One thing just led to another." There was some more talking, details were shared. It was a very personal conversation between brothers about everything that happened from the sex to text he just received and how he answered back. Everything was touched upon.

"And what are you doing now? Did you talk to them at all?"

"No."

"What's wrong with you? You say you're figuring it out. You're mad that she didn't tell you sooner, but then she tells you and you flee. And you don't even talk to her at all. You need to get it together." Was this the same Sean he grew up with? "What you miss now is your fault. And that text you sent was messed up. You blew up at her, and she deserved that, but she was trying to include you. You need to get it together and soon. Too long and there won't be anything to figure out."

He couldn't believe he was saying it, but he did. "You're right. I need to figure it out and quickly. But I'm mad. She wrote me letters and each one talks about something I missed. I stay up at night reading them and staring at her little face. She's so great, and she's a part of me, but I didn't do much to build her. She doesn't need me."

"Do you hear yourself? She's your daughter. Of course she needs you. And if you don't go back there and work things out with both Emily and Charlie, then you're not the man I thought you were. Then you're not the brother I always looked up to." Harsh, but he needed to hear it.

"I'm going back."

"Good."

"I'm going to have a relationship with my daughter." His voice gained conviction.

"Better. What about Emily?" Then it faltered.

"I don't know if I can forgive her."

"You might have to. Charlie doesn't know you, but she knows Emily. I don't think any kid takes too kindly to a guy being an ass to their mom. She'll resent you."

"When did you grow up and get so smart?"

"Right around the time you lost it and made mom believe you were dying." They took a somber moment to let everything they discussed soak in until Sean spoke up. "I have a niece."

"And I have a daughter."

"I want to meet her."

"Me too. I want her to meet you. And mom and Jack, but I have to know her first."

"Then do it. And until you do, I won't say anything. Just don't waste too much time."

"I won't."

"Good." A different kind of silence took over. It was calm until Hotch broke it.

"Thanks." He said.

"You're welcome."

"And when she asks, tell mom I'm ok."

"Will do." He said and stood from his seat. "So I'm heading out. But you can do this Aaron. She's going to love you just like Jack."

"Thank you." Somehow, the last person he expected it from was the most help.

"That's what brothers are for. Send me some pictures of the kids… both of them, and let me know when I can meet the little pipsqueak." They said their goodbyes, shared a few encouraging words, and Sean moved on to the others. Jack pleaded with him to stay. "I never get to see you Uncle Sean." He said. But Sean promised him he'd see him soon. They'd be sure the promise was kept.

On his way out, Sean was sure to mention to his mother that her eldest son was just fine. He was going through a rough patch, but he'd come out on the other side. Hearing him sound so confident, Hotch actually believed his words. Maybe he was right. Things would be good again. He'd have a whole family. Him and his two children; whole, or as close to it as possible.

"Bye Sean." He called.

"Call me."

"I will." With one last wave, Sean was out of the door and their mother was wishing for him to come back. It wasn't often that she had all her boys in the same house. She missed it and savored it when she could. But she understood that kids grow up and live their own lives.

After saying goodnight on their last night there, Hotch decided to read the few remaining letters. Most of them were fluffy and warm, written on various birthdays and special occasions. They gave him comfort. All the experiences were different than Jack's, but that was to be expected. Charlie and Jack were two different people. With his son, the job kept him away a lot, so he wasn't there to experience it all with him either. But Haley took pictures and made videos to show him if he was on the road. So he looked at everything Charlie like that. He got to be there without being there. He was a part of it now, without being in attendance. It was easier to think of it that way. It was easier to level Emily like Haley than the monster he saw her as. Eventually, he'd have to deal with it. In the meantime, he had a few more letters to read.

The one in his hand was rough. It was written sometime in Emily's early days at the BAU. She just found out about Haley… and Jack.

_I'm a fool. _ She wrote. _I'm a fool and you're an ass. You're married. You were married! I can't believe you. I felt like a terrible person for keeping my secret, but you had secrets of your own. Were you thinking about your family at all while you were with me? I really hate you right now. Every time I see you, I want to punch you in the face or castrate you, but I realize it was my fault too. I didn't ask. I didn't see a ring, and I wasn't looking for one. For some reason, I trusted you. That'll teach me._

_Here I am feeling guilty but you have your own set of guilt to deal with. I just want to scream! How can I work with you knowing all that I know? How can I trust you? I should've known that you were married when a woman answered your phone. I don't know what to say. I'm furious and upset and confused. There's not much I'm sure about right know. _

_I'm sure that I can't stand you in this moment. I'm sure that every time I look at you I feel like a whore that possibly ruined a family. But what I'm most sure about is that I don't regret it. Adultery or not, I got my daughter. And I can't be angry for that. Charlie's everything to me. _

_It just means I have more reason to keep quiet. Telling you now would just ruin what you have. And I've seen the pictures on your desk. I've seen how you look at the one of your son. You all look so happy. I don't want to take that away from you or your son. I don't know what I'm going to do…_

The other parts of the letter were made up of more ranting. It started harsh and filled with profanities. There was a lot of hate going on there. He'd probably feel the same way too. He did feel the same way when he learned about Charlie. Did she have a right to be angry? Yes. Did he? Yes. Did that give her more incentive to keep the truth hidden? Apparently, it did. It was more reason to protect their daughter from him and try to keep his struggling family together. She didn't realize she was keeping him from having something he didn't know he wanted. But he did want it. It was a struggle to see what was right in front of him, and it would be a while before he really did. Until then, he had to recollect. He didn't want to dwell on the feelings the letter restored. He was working on being ok with Emily and after reading that, well; he didn't want to think that her hate fuelled her spite. He just got done thinking that and doing it again would only hinder the process of acceptance. He just had to continue reading.

There was one more letter left. He was emotionally drained and he needed sleep, but they were leaving in the morning and he felt a desperate need to finish them. He needed the complete story. So he tore open the last envelope and began reading.

_Dear Aaron, _

_I almost told you yesterday. Charlie's birthday has already passed so this is a little late, but I'm writing now. Our baby is five. Can you believe it? She's growing up so fast. It feels like just yesterday I found out I was pregnant and I was scared out of my mind. Now I couldn't be happier to have her in my life. But everything seems to just be passing by. Soon she'll be in high school and dating boys. I'm not looking forward to that. I could just imagine if you knew about her and she brought home a boy. No one would dare go near her. Mommy and daddy are both armed and dangerous. Maybe we can persuade her from ever thinking about sex or boys and all that stuff. If she is anything like me, we're going to have a problem. A gun would definitely come in handy._

_Her birthday… Her fifth birthday… I always tell you about her birthdays, so I'll start there. We had a party. She asked for one and I made it happen. A friend of mine works with the aquarium and he helped us get in there. A few of her friends came. They got to pet some of the animals and they really seemed to have a good time. They were all so adorable. There are pictures of the day so you can see it all. She's a big girl now. _

_I should mention hat Henry was in attendance. He is our daughter's best friend. It's crazy how life works. I try to keep her life away from our work life and they end up colliding. That being said, I guess I should also tell you that JJ now knows about her. Don't worry. She doesn't know about you. I'd never tell her that without telling you about your daughter first, but she knows that Charlie exists. She was at the party with Henry. The next day she came over for Pizza Sunday and we had a long, much needed girl talk. I'm glad she knows. I'm so tired of all the secrecy. I just want to proudly display her school pictures on my desk and be able to brag about how smart she is or how well she's doing in… everything. That's all I want. _

_But, back to what I said when this started. I almost told you yesterday. I wanted to. I wanted to so bad, but I just couldn't. I ended up telling you that I moved, which it true. I am so sorry. I showed up extra early to work. I waited for you. When I finally got the courage to knock and you told me to come in, all my audacity was gone. You looked so distracted. I guess you were. Divorce huh? I'm sorry._

_It never seems like the right time o tell you about her, but I know I have to do it. I'm trying to force myself to just spit it out. "Hey Hotch, want some coffee? Oh hey, we have a daughter." I don't think that's the right way to do it, but there is no right way. Maybe blunt and uncensored is better than not at all._

_Would it make your life better to know?_

_Would it make your life worse?_

_Do you want to know?_

_I wish I had the answers. I can sense it coming. She's going to ask about you in the near future. She's going to want to know why all the other kids have daddies around and she doesn't. I don't want to have to lie to her, but I don't want her to hate me for the truth. _

_I don't know what to do, but I'm going to figure it out. You deserve to know. She deserves to know. We all deserve to be happy. _

_Soon… I'll tell you soon._

_Emily_

He knew there was something off about that day. His gut told him there was more than a move, but he was dealing with the divorce and didn't care enough at the time to push it. Now he wished he did. He would've known sooner. Things would've been different. But that was the past. He couldn't go back and change what he did that day. He wasn't sure how he would if he could. Things could've ended worse than they had. They were where they were; a standstill. Trying to understand Emily's perspective was difficult. Reading all the letters and going through everything gave him insight. She was conflicted and scared and mad and everything he was then. But that didn't make it right. And it was the not telling when she had so much time that was really keeping him from just forgiving her and saying everything was ok. It wasn't. He didn't know if or when it would be or what the end result would be. But he came to a realization; an epiphany of sorts.

If he didn't deal with it or figure out how to live with it, everything would be a reminder of things he missed. He couldn't blame her anymore. Emily, and several other complications within the time, may have been to blame for the first few years, but every day, every minute he spent away from his child after that was all on him. He left. He needed time, but it was on him then. He chose to walk away instead of staying and hashing things out. Another week was lost and he had no one but himself and his temper to blame. He had to reconcile that. There couldn't be any more missed moments. He had two kids and he needed to be there for both.

Realizing that, he got his first full night of sleep. Too bad it had to wait until the last day. He woke up feeling refreshed and knowing what he had to do. The morning was tame and simple, a drastic opposite from what he was bound to experience when he went to Emily. Given that, he was trying to soak it up. And he could tell that his mother missed this lighter side of him. It was a new day and, hopefully, a new beginning.

Goodbyes, like they usually were, were rough. His mother didn't want to see them go. With work and school and the long drive, they didn't visit as often as they should. But she made him promise to come back soon. He'd hold himself to that. Once things were settled down and the relationship with his daughter was figured out; they'd all be back. She'd get to meet her granddaughter. It was something to look forward to. And he was looking forward to it; to all of it.

A last hug and kiss goodbye and the boys were off. The ride back was much calmer than the ride there. Hotch still had a lot of thoughts running through his crowded mind, but they weren't as depraved and cynical as the last time. They were more focused on keeping himself calm and how he was going to approach things with Emily. What was he going to say? How was she going to react? Their last encounter wasn't amicable and his text didn't scream, "I want to make peace."

Before they knew it, he was pulled over in front of his former home and saying bye to Jack. "Did you have fun with your dad?" Haley asked.

"Lots of fun. I got to see Grandma and Uncle Sean too. We played outside and did so many things. Do you want to know what we did?" He was enthusiastic. He loved spending time with his father and he liked talking all about it.

"Sure buddy, but why don't you say bye to daddy first."

Nodding, he ran into his father's arms for a big hug. "I had a great time daddy."

"Me too. I'm going to miss you, but I'll see you soon."

"Ok."

"I love you."

"Love you too daddy."

"Bye Jack."

Jack waved and said it back before running into the house and leaving his parents alone. Hotch handed Haley the bag and they caught up a little. They'd always care about each other and their son, they just weren't compatible anymore. So when dealing with each other, they always kept that in mind. They were civil and friendly. There was no animosity between them… yet. He had a feeling there would be after all was said and done. But that was a worry for another day. He made plans for the next visit with Jack and left.

It was Saturday. He could've gone straight to Emily's. He thought about it and really considered it. But that wasn't right. Whatever was said, it shouldn't be said in front of their daughter. So he went home to wallow and process. It was a little pathetic, but he needed one last clearing of the head before approaching Emily. He needed to know what he wanted to say and how to say it. He just needed a plan.

That was how he spent his night; theorizing. He wanted it to go well. He needed it to go well. There could be no missteps. He hadn't forgiven her, but he needed to talk to her and see where they went from there. Now that he knew about her, he had to be in her life. He had to fill the father role as he should've all along. It wasn't out of obligation. He genuinely cared for and loved the little girl. In all honestly, he felt like he knew all along. As soon as he met her, that undeniable feeling in the pit of his stomach should've told him that she was his. But he ignored it. Not anymore. He was going to be there. The promise he made to himself at the hospital still stood. He would be there for both Emily and Charlie, for whatever, in whatever way. He already broke that promise, but he'd try again. It was a new promise for a new day.

He was dragging his feet the next day. It was decided. He was going to see her then, but he didn't know if he was ready. Normally, he wouldn't be so hesitant, but everything seemed so life changing. And it was. It involved three lives, four if Jack was included, and everyone who was connected to them. But he had to stop procrastinating. Collecting all the things he took from Emily's house, while reluctant to give them back, he loaded them into the car and hazily drove to Emily's house. Not one minute of the trip was remembered. He barely remembered getting into the car, let alone driving there.

When he pulled closer to the house he saw two other cars in the driveway. Garcia and JJ were over. He should've called, he should've waited for Monday like he originally planned, but he was afraid she wouldn't answer. It's much harder to shut someone out when they're right in front of the other. Hanging back, he parked on the street and waited. He felt like a stalker watching his prey. All that was missing was the high powered lens for his surveillance camera. Every predator needed one.

For hours he just sat there and waited hoping for one glimpse of his daughter. But he never got it. It was late when everyone finally left. It was for the best. He didn't want an audience for it and Charlie would most likely be in bed. But even after they left, he didn't go in. His feet were cemented to the ground and he couldn't get them to move. It would be a little longer before he went in.

In the dead of night, Aaron took a deep breath and made his way to the door. Fishing for the key out of his pocket, he kicked a potted plant or a lawn gnome or something equally as stupid and out of place when it came to Emily. Creaking the door open, he spit a few choice words to get him through the throbbing in his foot.

"Hotch?" He heard his name wearily called as he placed the box on a nearby table. Obviously his obnoxious entry woke her or at least alerted her to a possible intruder. His last hope was that Charlie didn't hear anything. That would've been a weird one to explain. "Daddy's just here to have a serious discussion with mommy in the middle of the night. Don't worry; your dad's not as crazy as he seems right now… No, I wasn't stalking the house for the last few hours. Oh yeah, and I am your dad."

"Emily." He responded and watched as she put the gun in the end table drawer.

As a diffuse light turned on he heard her ask, "What are you doing here?" She looked dazed and confused; a lot like he felt. "Am I dreaming? What time is it?" He must've just woken her up.

"Are you feeling ok?" He asked concerned as she rubbed her temples and squeezed her eyes shut. She shouldn't have been out of the hospital yet. He knew that. She probably did too. But, she looked ok.

"No, not really." The honesty caught him off guard as she looked up to him with her bloodshot eyes and pained face. "You never answered. What are you doing here? Last I heard from you, you were telling me I was the she devil." He never said that, did he?

"Are you drunk?" She looked it. That wasn't healthy.

"No, no. I think I was accidentally drugged." Drugged? Who the hell drugged her? Who was he going to have to fire? He couldn't fire them, and he'd probably never say anything, but who would drug her? "Why are you here?"

"Lay back down." He gently forced her head to the pillow to keep her from standing. "We need to talk." He tried to shove it down, but seeing her brought back the anger and resentment, and he was sure she could sense it in his voice.

"Now?"

"Why not now?" Would there be a better time?

"Because I miss my bed." He had no idea how to respond to that.

"What?" What did that even mean? Was there a right way for him to respond to that? He just chalked it up to her being _drugged._

"I miss my bed. I miss sleeping in it, I miss lying in it, and I miss cuddling in it. I just miss it."

"Do you want me to take you to bed?" It wasn't meant as provocatively as it sounded. He just wanted her to be comfortable and willing to talk to him, whatever it took to get to that point.

"Are you trying to take advantage of my delicate condition Sir?" Sir… All he wanted to do was talk and she wasn't making it easy. Part of it was his fault. Who's coherent when they're supposed to be sleeping?

"You're hung-over or drunk or whatever… and I'm not taking advantage. I'm offering assistance."

"With which problem?" He ignored that question. He felt it better that way.

"Come on Prentiss. Let's get you to bed."

"I can do it myself." She pushed him away and her resistance was annoying. Couldn't she see he was just trying to be nice? He was trying to lift her up and carry her. She wasn't having that. He was still angry. Any fool could see that, but he was still being sweet and she didn't understand why.

"Please let me help you." He pleaded as he saw her stumble and reach for her side.

"Argh." He watched her groan and hesitate, but she let him help. He won one battle. "I still don't get why you're here. You want to talk, but the last time I tried to extend an olive branch, you snapped it in my face and told me I was rubbing it in. I never wanted to keep you from her." Nothing else was said as he got her up the stairs and to her room. Kindly, he laid her in her bed and pulled the comforter over her body. She looked so peaceful as he tucked her in like a child. She was beautiful in her pain, but he wouldn't let her soften him. "There's no turning back you know. Once we have this talk, there's no turning back." He heard her whisper. And he was ok with that. There'd be no going back, no turning back of the clocks, just real live honesty and progress.

Taking a deep breath, he responded, "I know; no turning back." But they were going to do it anyway.

**And another super long chapter… I'm still getting in the swing of things, so sorry for the delay. **

**I broke this chapter in two. It's just Hotch's side and the next chapter will contain the long overdue conversation.**

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**


	15. Talks to be Had, Lives to Live

Chapter 15: Talks to be Had, Lives to Live

"I know; no turning back." Waiting for some sort of reply and not getting one, he moved closer to Emily who was nestled into the bed, her head deep in the pillow. He could hear her hoarse breathing slow and become heavy. "Emily?" He whispered. "Emily?" Again, there was no response. The trip up the stairs and the verbal berating she gave him apparently took a lot out of her. "Ok, you sleep now. We'll talk in the morning."

He didn't know what to do? Did he stay? Did he go? Which was the right choice? At a loss, Hotch just weighed his options. He didn't want to go. Not only did he want to talk to her as soon as possible, he didn't want to leave her like that. She'd never admit it, but she had to be suffering and he was sure she would wake up with a wicked hangover. She shouldn't be alone.

But was he invading her space? Did he care if he was? Space wasn't something they could afford and he honestly didn't care if he was intruding. She ran. Then he ran. There couldn't be any more space. And, he needed to be there. He needed to take care of her and their daughter even if that strictly meant watching over them and nothing more.

So that was what he did. Knowing that she was definitely asleep and probably wouldn't wake up again, he pulled the blanket higher on her body to shield her from the cold completely and then looked around the room. It was, what he considered to be, very Emily. Even in the dark, he could see that it was very sophisticated and classy, but still warm and homey. Through the dim light that he had yet to turn off, he could make out several picture frames around the room. Since the opportunity to get into their lives presented itself, he took it.

Perching on the edge of Emily's bed, he snooped around the nightstand. He knew the limits. He wasn't going through any drawers or anything personal like that. He did, after all, still have to live with and work with her. But he took a look around. There were two frames there on that side. One was of the team. It looked fairly new; taken just before the world was shot to hell. They all looked so blissful and ignorant to all that was to come. It was a feeling he missed. Putting it back in its rightful place, he moved on to the next. Henry's birthday… That was the first time Jack and Charlie met; the first time he met her. He was a little jealous of that. His son spent more time with his daughter than he had. Seemed pathetic to be jealous of a child, but he couldn't help it.

His finger delicately ran over the glass of the frame like he was caressing the sweet face that stared back at him. The three of them all looked so friendly and cohesive; like it was destiny for them to be friends. Maybe it was… He had to stop torturing himself. Pictures were pictures and the memories weren't his. Fine; he'd learn to accept that no matter how hard it was going to be. But another night doing that, picturing what was going on in the captured moment just wasn't ok. The real thing was somewhere down the hall.

And that gave him an idea. He probably shouldn't have, but he didn't see the harm in it; although, later he would. Turning off the light, he exited the room to leave Emily to sleep. She looked like she needed it. Tired and fragile and still incredibly strong described her well then. And he couldn't help but notice how, even after everything and even at one in the morning, she was still incredibly beautiful; not that he'd tell her that. Truth was that he tried not to think about it. All he wanted then was to talk to her. But since he couldn't, he would wait and occupy his time.

Deciding against closing the door all the way, just in case, Hotch wandered the upstairs. He thought it'd be harder to find her room, but he was drawn to it. And it helped that it was literally right across the hall. The decorative name plate didn't hurt either; or the fact that the door was creaked open and the hints of a night light could be seen. He didn't know how he missed it on his way up. It must've been the body in his hands.

Pushing the door open all the way, Hotch quietly entered. It was everything he could've imagined and more. The purple walls, the girly frill, the tomboy feel even in the midst of all the estrogen… It was what he pictured and nothing like it at the same time. But she was what caught his attention. Sleeping soundly, she looked so peaceful. She looked so much like Emily; a mirror image of what he just left in the other room. It had been said before. Said again and again, but he couldn't help but think it once more. God, she was so Emily's mini me.

The room was immaculate. And normally, he'd expect nothing less from a Prentiss, but she was five; just a child. How was it possible that she didn't live in her own filth? Where were the scattered toys and dirty clothes lying on the ground? He had to wonder whether it was her mother's idiosyncrasies rubbing off or if she had always been like that. It was something he'd have to ask one day. Right then, all he wanted to do was stare.

As creepy as it was, that was all he could do. Knowing she was there, right in front of him and in reaching distance, calmed him more than he thought possible. All worries were quelled, much like they were with Jack, by the simple rise and fall of her chest. He moved deeper into the room for a better look; just to be closer. The hints of light hit her cheek and illuminated her face. One word, one overly used word came to mind. Beautiful… If he could think of other words, he didn't know what they were because he was lost in her absolute perfection. Careful not to wake her, Hotch kneeled beside the bed and tenderly glossed his hand over her cheek.

"Mommy?" She mumbled in a voice so sleep ridden that he knew she hadn't actually been woken up. She was just responding to the touch on instinct. Her mind automatically went to Emily. It would always be Emily. Because who else would it be? It was Emily she went to when she was scared at night or if she needed comfort. Who else had been there to do that? He certainly wasn't. However, he was there then. And he reveled in the fatherly touch for the first time.

It was so new and scary as much as it was amazing. But it also made everything really very real. It wasn't just a theory or a fact; it was life. Life was starring him in the face and he wasn't sure he could look back. It wasn't a matter of love or right and wrong. It just was. It was overwhelming and suffocating. All his fears were back, like he was a first time parent again. On the verge of hyperventilation, he just had to get out of there.

Stumbling to find his way out of the room, he knocked over something. He didn't know what it was, but the noises it made worried him. As soon as it hit the ground, he immediately looked to Charlie. She stirred a little and cried out for Emily as he stilled completely, but, to his relief, she remained asleep. Finally out in the hall, he took a much needed breath.

He didn't know what got into him. He didn't understand it and he didn't like it. What the hell was that? Why would he freak out like that? There was no reason to. He wasn't afraid of her. So what was it? Why was he so afraid? Was he afraid? Maybe he was just tired and seeing her brought back those insecurities. Would he be a good enough father to her? Did she want a father? Did she want him as her father? Would she want him there? It didn't seem like she needed him. But did he need her?

Sure, Emily was hurt and they may have needed some physical support that he was suitable to offer, but Charlie didn't need, need him. She grew up without him. What good was he now? All he was to her was some guy her mother may or may not be friends with; and he was questioning the friend aspect of it. How was he supposed to handle that? Obviously, he hadn't handled it as well as he thought he had because the first time he saw her as his daughter, not just a colleague's kid, he practically ran away screaming. Scratch that. He did run away; he just wasn't screaming.

Leaning against the wall, he was finally catching his breath. Why was he acting like this? He wasn't like that with Jack; never, not ever. Why was she so different? Why weren't things as easy? They didn't get the bonding time that he had with Jack. The first year, or two, is crucial to bonding and he wasn't there. What if they never had that bond or any bond? What if she hated him? He wouldn't be able to stomach that. How could he?

He was driving himself crazy and he hadn't even begun to work things out with Emily. He hadn't even really spoken to Charlie and he was already losing it. What would happen when they were all in a room together? And all the while, Charlie was naive to the new change in her life. Her father was informed, but what did it change? Or did it change anything? All the thoughts were back. He was doing his best to leave them elsewhere. He thought he left them all at home or at his mother's, but apparently he didn't. They were still there haunting his every move and it seemed to be exponentially worse while in that house; in their house with them.

It was too much and he wanted out, but he'd suck it up because the talk needed to happen and he couldn't put it off much longer. If it weren't for the sustaining of Emily's well being, he would've woke her up right then and there so they could get right down to business. But that wasn't going to happen. As much as he wanted it to, it couldn't. He was tired and emotional and he needed sleep. While it might've been inappropriate, Emily's room was his best option. He didn't know the layout of the house and he wasn't planning on leaving until what needed to be said was said. So he would sleep in Emily's room. He wouldn't sleep on the bed with her. That would be wrong, although it wouldn't have been the first time they shared a bed. Charlie was proof of that. Still, he didn't plan on that ever happening again. Feelings aside, he and Emily could never work out, and he wasn't sure what he felt for her anymore other than the contempt he desperately tried to squelch.

It was late and he just wanted it to be morning, but, since he couldn't magically make it day time, he wandered back into Emily's room, pulled a blanket from the back cushion, and settled on the chair. It would, undoubtedly, be a rough night's sleep. If the anxiety didn't get him, the stiff neck he was sure to have would, but he needed to be there; right there. Doing nothing but pace and stalk _his girls_ all day really took it out of him. It must've. Otherwise, there would've been no way he would've fallen asleep so quickly and easily. And, although, it wasn't the easiest time falling asleep, after watching Emily for a little while, he managed.

The night seemed to pass by quickly, too quickly. Emily was wary and achy as she moved around the bed, trying to get comfortable once again and shield herself from the tough day ahead. Her head felt worse than it had in days. And that was saying a lot because she didn't think that was humanly possible. What felt worse than a stampede on the head? A train running over it? That was the only thing she could think to compare it to. Trying to turn her head to view the clock, a bright ray of light blinded her and caused her to recoil.

"Argh. Somebody turn off the sun." Hearing the laughter in response to her comment, Emily tilted her head just enough to see Hotch was there and stared as she guarded her eyes from the light behind him. She wasn't awake enough or ok enough to deal with him. And Charlie was there still…

"Do you always wake up like that?" He teasingly asked her. His mood was lighter; his freak out momentarily forgotten as he woke to Emily's stirrings. Really, he was just pretending it never happened. He didn't understand it, and he wasn't sure he wanted to. It was done.

"What are you doing here?" She bit. She wasn't happy to see him.

"I came by last night. Don't you remember?"

"I thought I was having a nightmare." A weird and realistic, terrible nightmare… She sorely forced herself to sit up in bed and moved the hair out of her face. She looked around. She was in her room. "Now I see that it was real." Looking directly at him, she asked, "What are you still doing here?"

"You fell asleep before we could talk."

"And you took that as invitation to stay and make yourself at home?" Her attitude was in full swing. Experiencing a whole new level of hell would do that to a girl. And that was how Emily felt. She was at a new all time low, in pain and highly irritable, and he was there smirking and making fun of her like they were on good terms. Last she checked, he was mad at her for keeping secrets and she was mad at him for being a complete ass. She was pretty sure they were still at that stage.

"I didn't want to leave and you didn't look like you should be left alone."

"I'm a big girl."

"And our daughter?" It was the first time he said it out loud to her and it wasn't angry; bitter yes, but not angry. _Our daughter…_ "Is she a big girl?"

"Do not…" She stressed the words. "Do not bring her up right now. I am in no mood."

"I came here to talk… about her. She's going to come up."

"But not right now. Right now it's," she looked over to the clock, "it's quarter of seven. My alarm's going to go off any minute and then I'm going to wake up my daughter, make her breakfast, and get her ready for school before Sarah comes to get her."

"Sarah?" That was his main concern?

"Sarah, my friend and the nanny." She didn't know why she was explaining anything to him or why every word that came from her mouth was laced with poison. Neither knew what had gotten into her. She blamed the after effects of a drugging. She didn't imagine that happening, did she? And he was just confused. Wasn't he the one that was supposed to be mad at her? What, exactly, did he do to her other than show up?

"Ok." That seemed to be the only word he could think of that wouldn't upset her more than she already was; it was safe. The attitude was throwing him off. He still didn't understand where it was coming from. He sent one angry text, which he didn't even think was that bad. She gave five years of omission. In his mind, that didn't even begin to compare.

"Ok." An awkward stare down occurred. They were sizing each other up like competitors in a battle of wills trying to decide how the day would play out. They were so lost in their own worlds that they didn't hear the quiet and sneaky little steps of their baby girl creeping down the stairs in search of her mother.

"Mommy?" She quietly called when she didn't see Emily on the couch where she was recently taking residence. "Mommy?" The urgency increased as she became more nervous. She was supposed to be there like she was every morning. It was the same routine since Emily came home from the hospital. Emily would send her to bed as she slept on the couch and in the early hours of the morning, when she'd usually find herself sneaking into her mother's bed, she would slink downstairs for however long she could and just be close to her mother even if it wasn't in the same bed. The love seat was right next to her. "Mommy?" She was worried.

The yelling pulled the adults from the childish game they were playing. "Crap." Emily whispered. A little louder she said, "I'm upstairs baby." She didn't want her daughter to panic and she knew the girl would. Hotch was getting a little panicky too. He was about to see her awake and in front of him; his daughter, not just Charlie, but his own flesh and blood. That was, until Emily spoke again. "You can't be here." Now pointing to a door, she continued. "There's the bathroom. Wait in there please."

"What? Emily she's my daughter." Although reluctant, he knew he should agree. Nothing was worked out and after his actions the previous night, technically that morning, it would be best to avoid another meltdown; especially one with witnesses.

"Yes, she is." She didn't want to do this then. "She is our five year old daughter who doesn't know you are her father. And, I don't think I'm ready to explain what a guy is doing in my bedroom at seven in the morning all rumpled and riddled with bed head. She never caught me with a guy and she's not going to now. So if you don't want to start today off with a conversation about the birds and the bees, please hide in the bathroom and just be grateful I didn't shove you in the closet." All she wanted to do was go back to sleep. The pounding in her ears wasn't making life any easier and the looks she was getting from Hotch were just plain irritating. But the sounds of her daughter approaching calmed her. "Please do it."

"I'm going." He gave in to her pleading. He didn't want to make Charlie uncomfortable and he really wasn't ready for that talk yet either.

"Hurry." She panicked as her head flickered from the door to the fleeting figure. Charlie didn't need to witness their dysfunction or even his presence. Sucking up the pain that was shooting through her body and the need for a strong cocktail, Emily plastered on a smile like she needed to and always did where her girl was concerned and waited. "Hey Charlie Bear." She said, the smile genuine, as her daughter climbed over to the bed.

"I went downstairs and you weren't there. You were supposed to be there and you weren't. You can't do that mommy. Promise you won't leave again." Emily's heart broke in that moment. Hotch's did too as he watched through the gap in the door and the frame.

"Come here." She ordered. Charlie willingly agreed, jumping onto the bed and getting as close to Emily as she could.

"I didn't want you to go. JJ said you weren't feeling good and last time that happened you were asleep for a long time. You're not going to go to sleep again are you?"

Whatever she was feeling before was completely ignored as she looked into Charlie's eyes. She needed to be there for her daughter and that meant being strong for her. It didn't matter how she was feeling or what she was feeling, she just had to reassure the still young and vulnerable girl before her. So, she took Charlie's hand s in her own and spoke. "I am so sorry that you are so scared. I am so sorry that I did that to you." She couldn't control it, the tears were prickling at the corners of her eyes and no amount of self control would keep them from falling. Everything she didn't want to do, she did. And she was hurting her daughter.

"Don't cry mommy." Charlie pleaded as she moved closer and hugged her mother. She knew she wasn't supposed to squeeze so hard because Emily was hurt there, but such limitations were hard for a child to understand. All she saw was her mother upset and she was upset too. A hug was the only remedy. "You don't have to be sad. I won't be scared anymore."

"Hey. It's ok to be scared, but you don't have to be." Emily pulled away and used her hands to guide the little face in her direction. "I love you. You know that?"

Nodding, she answered, "I love you too."

"I promise I'm not leaving you. I am always here for you no matter what. Whatever you do, whatever I do, and whatever happens, I will always be here for you. Because I love you. And who would ever want to leave that gorgeous face? " She playfully teased.

"But you promise?"

"I promise." Emily saw the time. It was earlier than the girl normally woke. "What are you doing up so early?"

"Someone was in my room."

"What?" How could that be?

"A ghost came into my room and knocked down my books. I thought it was you and I called for you but I was tired and I went back to sleep. I knew you wouldn't let it get me." The more she thought about it, the more the culprit became clear. So as she quickly looked over to the bathroom where she knew Hotch was eavesdropping, she laughed and responded.

"You're right. I'd never let anyone or anything hurt you, but I think someone's still tired because there's no ghosts. You know that." It was her father, but she couldn't just come out and say that.

"I know. But how did the books get on the floor by themselves?"

"Maybe we left your window open too much. We'll make sure it's closed tonight. Right now, I'm going to go make pancakes while you get your bag ready and get dressed."

"Do I have to? Can't I just stay home with you forever?"

"I wish you could, but school's very important and if you stayed with me, who would play with Henry? And what about your other friends? Wouldn't they miss you? Wouldn't you miss them?"

"I miss them, but I missed you more. And I don't want to miss you. I don't want you to be all by yourself mommy. You still have bad booboos."

"Hey, don't worry about me. I'm going to be fine and you're going to have tons of fun at school. So go get ready and I'll make breakfast." Charlie, as much as a five year old could, looked to Emily skeptically. "I won't be alone. I promise."

"Then who will be with you?" It wasn't such an unexpected question. Her child was curious and protective by nature; she just didn't want to answer it quite yet. Hotch would be hard enough to explain when the time came.

"That's not something for you to worry about. I already promised I'd be ok. Didn't I?"

"Uh huh."

"Then why are you still sitting here?" She shrugged. With a smile Emily said, "Ok, it's settled. Time to get ready."

"Are you sure I can't stay home with you home just one more day?" Her eyes pleaded and her voice begged. Stubbornness really was a family trait.

"I'm very sure. You are a smart girl and we want to keep it that way. Plus, you love school and you love your friends."

"But I love you more. And I worry about you like you worry about me mommy." The things that came out of her mouth still, somehow, managed to stun Emily. She expected it, but she was still always blind sighted by it.

"Well, I love you more too, and I love that you worry about me. But I'm worried about you missing too much school. If you stay home when you're not sick you'll have to stay back. You don't want to be in a different grade than Henry do you?" Her head shook furiously at the thought. It seemed outrageous to the small mind. "Right. That's what I thought. So go. Go…" With a playful swat Emily effectively made her point. This time with no reluctance, a kiss on the cheek, and a smile, Charlie scurried off. Once Emily knew she was long gone and out of hearing range, she turned toward the bathroom door and took a deep breath. Time to face the music. Quietly, she said, "You can come out now; just don't make too much noise."

Hesitating for just a second, he too took a deep breath; a much needed breath, and exited the bathroom. Immediately, a look was shared. Neither knew what they were feeling or what the other was thinking, but they both felt the heavy weight on their shoulder.

He had just witnessed something beautiful; a beautiful moment between mother and daughter and all he felt was out of place. He shouldn't have felt that way. The moment should've been something he was accustomed to, even a part of. He shouldn't have been stowed away like a one night stand in the closet; or the bathroom. He was that girl's father. There should've been no secrecy. There should've been moments like that all along… between him and her. The three of them should've been whatever kind of family they could've.

Finally, he spoke. "Is she always so…?" What was that? Perfect? Loving… Compassionate… everything he didn't teach her to be… but she was anyway.

"Is she always so what?" While it seemed unfathomable that anyone could speak badly about her, Emily felt the need to get on the defensive. That was still her kid he was talking about.

"So, I don't know… So caring?"

"Oh, caring…" She smiled. Charlie… "Yes, she usually is." Again, there was staring. No one knew what to say and Emily needed to get dressed and downstairs before Charlie, but she felt the need to say a few things first. "So you were in her room last night." It wasn't so much a question as it was a statement.

"I probably shouldn't have." No. he shouldn't have, but not for the reasons he was apologizing for. No, he had other reasons. He shouldn't have because it terrified him. Seeing her and knowing that he cared about her made everything so unable to be taken back. And, he was ashamed to even think it, but a part of him wished he didn't know. Sometimes ignorance really was bliss. But his world was caving in around him and there was nothing to do but face it or jump into a black hole. The question still remained. Was he up for it? Did he have a choice? "But I needed to. And I won't apologize for that."

"I get it." All she wanted to do was yell and scream, berate him, but she couldn't. Not only was Charlie still there, but all he wanted to do was see her and she couldn't fault him for that. She would've let him see her if he wanted. She just wished it wasn't in the middle of the night when there was school in the morning. "And I want to yell at you, but I get it. Just… She's having a hard time right now… And what if she woke up? She would've had nightmares for weeks and sleeping is hard enough as it is. You knocked stuff over, really? If she woke up and saw you… and she doesn't really know you…" Her ramblings were cut short by his outburst.

"And whose fault is that?" He was just jumping right on into the deep end.

"We can't have this conversation now."

"We are having this conversation now." He demanded, but Emily was no push over.

"No, we are not. I am going to get out of this bed and _I_ am going to go into that bathroom and get dressed and then _I_ am going to go get our daughter fed and ready for school. Then, once she's safely away from here… Then, and only then, will _we_ even begin to think about having this talk." Her tone was not kind as she struggled to get out of bed. Just anticipating the stairs, even going down, combined with everything she was already feeling was like a nightmare. Stress made everything worse.

Damn it, she was right. He didn't want her to be right about anything; nothing. "You win. But what about me?"

Stopping at the bathroom door to turn and look at him, she asked, "What about you?"

"What do I do?"

"You're a grown man Hotch. Occupy yourself like a grownup does until she's gone. Just don't leave this room."

He was defeated, but he listened to her. Honestly, he was more taken back by the fact that he was taking orders from a subordinate instead of giving them. It was that confusion of roles rather than being civil and obedient made him listen. "As you wish." He said sarcastically. Everything was up to her. But instead of fighting, he held his breath and watched her do her thing. And as she left the room without so much as another word uttered to him, he just sat back and listened to the noises around him.

He missed listening to the morning bustle as Jack got ready for school. Since the divorce, he didn't really get to experience it much and, other than right then, he'd probably rarely, if ever, get to experience it with her. So, thinking it was safe, he moved out of the room to the landing at the top of the stairs. Getting comfortable leaning against the wall, he listened. There was the clanging and clamoring of, what he assumed to be, pans and the scratching of forks against the plates. Gentle conversation flowed seamlessly between the girls; a repartee so fluent it was like they were speaking their own language. Obviously, he wasn't a member of their exclusive club. Maybe he never would be. All he could do was observe from the sidelines. That was his temporary place; benched until further notice.

Down in the kitchen, Charlie was just finishing up breakfast as Emily was putting the rest of the food aside and doing dishes. It was the menial labor during the rough moments where she wished she still had a housekeeper. Normally she wouldn't mind, but it sucked to be standing over a sink or slaving over a stove when simply standing for more than a few seconds was still an unpleasant task. She really shouldn't have cancelled the appointment she was supposed to go to, but she really hated doctors.

"Why did you cook so much?" Charlie asked as she finished the last few bites on her late. She was one of the only kids a parent could trust to eat while in her school uniform and not make a mess.

"I'm really hungry." She figured she might as well make enough for Hotch too. If they were going to talk, she figured they should have something in their stomachs. There was no need to be extra grumpy from the hunger. They had enough to deal with.

"But you're not eating."

"Not yet, but I will. Are you done?"

"Yup."

"Ok, good." Taking the plate from the island, she dropped it into the sink. "Finish your juice then go brush your teeth. Sarah will be here soon."

"But why can't you drive me?"

"I wish I could sweetie, but the doctor says I'm not allowed to drive." She wasn't allowed to do half the things she did, but she was willing to chance her recovery to do whatever she could with and for her daughter. She wasn't, however, willing to chance an accident just to drive her daughter to school. The possibility of that was just too much to hazard. "As soon as I'm all better, I'll drive you to school every morning."

"Until you go back to work?"

"Until I go back to work." She seemed satisfied by that answer and shook her head with a smile before going back to her glass of orange juice. It was getting later in the morning. Hotch was upstairs. Sarah would be there any second. They needed to get a move on things. "Go brush your teeth and I'll put your lunch in your bag. I put a little surprise in there for you."

"Is it ice cream?"

"No silly, ice cream melts."

"Chocolate?"

"It might be."

"Candy?"

"Maybe, you'll see. But I you don't move your butt then you'll never know."

"I'm going. I'm going." Her little feet took her away as fast as they could. She loved the lunchtime surprises. It was usually some sort of sweet treat and a note from mommy telling her how much she loved her and missed her and hoped she was having fun while learning a bunch of new things.

Finally having as moment alone to catch her breath, Emily sunk into the chair, as much as the stool would allow, and reflected on whatever. It was barely morning and the day was already chaotic. Her body felt like it was going to give out on her at any second, and she had yet to do what needed to be done. The conversation was put off for years. It couldn't be put off any longer. That wasn't an option, but he must've picked the worst day to just show up. And he picked the middle of the night to break into her house. Who does that? She was armed. She could've shot him; and it would've been his fault if she did.

The doorbell pulled her from her reverie. Using the counter as a crutch, she hoisted herself up and sauntered over to the door. "Hi Sarah."

"Emily, you look good."

"And you're a liar. But thank you. Come in, Charlie will be down in a minute." Emily moved out of the way to allow her friend and employee through. As they approached the kitchen, Emily immediately sat back down. There was only so much her body could take. Her plan was to kill Garcia the next time they saw each other. Although she was sure the blonde's intentions were pure of heart, all she did was make a bad situation worse. That was, of course, assuming her clouded memory wasn't playing tricks on her and she was, in fact, drugged. She wasn't sure her facts were straight. But either way, someone had some explaining to do.

"How have you been feeling?" Sarah was informed of the situation. Emily told her as much as she deemed necessary. So once she saw the wince, she had to ask even though she knew Emily was opposed to that question.

"I've been better, but I've been worse." That was true enough. "But I appreciate you being here."

"Well, of course. Where else would I be?"

"Most people would've quit a long time ago. I mean, I'm not the best or most reliable boss."

"Are you kidding? You're both. You're a great boss and more importantly, you're a good friend. Besides, you know I don't do this job because of the money. I do it because you're my friend and Charlie is an amazing kid that I adore spending time with." Sarah put a gentle, reassuring hand on Emily's shoulder to emphasis her point. Sarah knew Emily for a while. She may not see herself as such, but she had always been pretty reliable and she understood, as much as she could, everything that happened. She wouldn't hold that against her friend.

"All I'm saying is that I'd understand if you didn't want to do it anymore. Who wants a boss that has crazy people trying to kill her and finds herself in life or death situations all the time? It's a lot to deal with."

"But it's so worth it. I love this job. You're a great mother; you just need a little help when you can't be there. That's what I'm here for. So don't worry. I'm not going anywhere until Charlie's too old to need a babysitter and even then, I'll be around as your friend."

Genuinely touched, all Emily could think to say was, "Thank you." Friends, the chosen family…

"You're very welcome. So where is she anyway?"

"She'll be right down."

"And what about you?"

"I'm right here." Emily joked.

"No, what are you doing today? Do you need me to come back? I can keep you company and help you out however I can." Everyone was so worried about her. They knew how Emily was. Tell her she had an inch and she stretched the boundaries without ever breaking the fabric. Basically she pushed herself and they were worried to what extent she would.

"I'll be just fine. But thank you. Today's simple. Just bring her to school and pick her up like normal. Tomorrow morning we'll talk about the new schedule and her activities until I'm up and about."

"Sounds good."

"Great." Just then, Charlie came running into the kitchen.

"Hi Sarah." She said excitedly.

"Hey. You ready?"

"Uh huh." She responded before jumping on the stool next to her mother.

"Have fun at school. Be good. Sarah's going to pick you up and bring you home. I'll see you then."

"Bye mommy. Love you."

"Love you too." With final goodbyes, the two were off. Charlie was reluctant to leave, but she knew she had to. It was the right thing to do. Hearing the front door shut, Emily walked over to the window and watched them drive away. Hotch was doing the same from the floor above. She wanted her daughter back. She wished there was no school because all she wanted to do, all she had wanted to do over the last week, was cuddle with her daughter. And she did what she could but injuries prevented it. And it sucked. But Hotch never got that and she knew it had to suck just as bad for him.

They both just stood in their respective spots for a while until Hotch figured it was time to get started and made his way downstairs. "Hey." He called to get her attention. The last thing he wanted to do was startle her.

"Are you hungry?" She asked, not yet turning to face him.

"Am I hungry?"

"I made pancakes. Would you like some?" It wasn't a peace offering, but if the chewing and all the food acted as a buffer, she'd use it to her advantage.

"Sure. Only if you join me." She looked like she hadn't eaten in years. Being in a coma and then stuck with nothing much more than hospital food didn't do anything to help the weight loss.

"I was planning on it." They had to get settled first. If they were fed and comfortable, the talk would be easier. Or it wouldn't, but they liked to think it would. They also would've liked for it all to be easy. But that was never really an option. It really couldn't be.

Eating was awkward. Emily really just played with the food. Her stomach was churning. The nerves combined with everything else… She just couldn't eat much. Somehow, she managed to eat enough so that the medicine she took wouldn't eat a hole through her stomach. So, at least there was that. But every time she looked over to Hotch, she just became more lost. Picturing the different ways the talk could go was never a good idea; not with the way her mind had been working. And the look on his face was pitiful. It was a mix of everything; every sad emotion. But what hurt the most was the way he looked at her. He wasn't seeing her. He was seeing a woman who betrayed him, or, as he so bluntly told her before, he saw her as an unsub. And that killed her. It made a little piece of her die inside.

And it was just as difficult for him. He didn't want to feel the way he did. Sleeping on it was supposed to help. Seeing Charlie was supposed to help. But all anything did was exacerbate what he was already feeling and bringing out everything he tried to squash down deep inside back to the surface. It just wouldn't die down. It softened a little when he saw Emily look so helpless and fragile. But then he remembered what she did and the anger and sadness was back in full force. And seeing Charlie in all her flawlessness just reminded him that all that happened while he was off doing whatever. The only part he had in that was the, while fun, creative process. From then on out, he was nothing but a figment of the imagination. He was still so unsure about anything.

"So I guess we should talk now." Hotch started as he finished the last of his food. They both used the meal as an excuse to procrastinate, but no more. They needed to work on it.

"I think we should. We have about seven hours before she gets back. Do you think we can figure everything out by then?" She couldn't be sure what exactly she was feeling other than lost and scared like a little girl afraid of the monsters under her bed. But there she was, facing a demon that she created. Staring at Hotch, seeing the hurt in his eyes; it was all hitting her hard. But it was affecting him too. When he looked at her, he could see the pain she was in. Sure, some of it was from the physical injuries, but the, yet to heal, mental scars were so much worse. He knew the secret had been weighing on her for some time, and he had some empathy for her. But he was also still angry and unsure.

Figuring that they should at least be comfortable while attempting to work through their issues, Emily poured them each a fresh cup of coffee and guided him into the living room. He wouldn't even sit on the same couch as her. He had to take the seat farthest away like he was escaping her stench; like she was dirty and tainted. It was a horrible feeling. What she did was wrong. Yes, she got that, but he had to understand that she did try. At first, she really did.

"Where do we start?" She finally asked after the unsettling silence became too much. She wanted to get it over with. They needed to punch holes in the concrete in order to break the damn and build a bridge.

"I don't know."

"Well, I don't know either."

"It's not like I've done this before Prentiss." His words stung as they left the tip of his tongue. There would be bloodshed before it was over. Hopefully there were band aids too.

"I haven't either Hotch." She bit right back. "It's not like I do this all the time."

There'd be no easing into it. They were going all in. All their chips were in the pot. "Why didn't I know? Why did it take you so long to finally tell me?"

There it was… The opening question. "I tried telling you at first." She started, only to be cut off by him.

"Obviously, not hard enough."

"That's not fair Hotch. I called several times to every number I knew. I wrote to you."

"But I still didn't know." He was yelling. "You should've tried harder."

"You were never there when I called. I didn't even know if it was the right number. And the letters were sent back. What else was I supposed to do? What did you want me to do? Tell me please, because if there was something else I could've done then, then I'd really like to know."

"You could've found me. You could've found a way!" The louder he got, the more frustrated she became. And it was at that time that she was happy that her neighbors' houses weren't right on the property line and that, should they have been home in the middle of the day, they were far enough away that the yelling may have been nothing more than a dull ring in their ears.

"Then tell me how Hotch! Tell me. I did what I could. I made the effort. And, short of showing up at your house and demanding to see you, which seemed pretty stupid since the address I had wasn't even yours… What could I have done?"

"I don't know!" He was still screaming, but suddenly it was like she got through to him or some light bulb was going off in his head. "I don't know…"

Seeing the calm, she took the opportunity to speak and maybe get through to him. "I did everything I could. I called and I wrote. I wanted to include you from the start."

"But you didn't." He looked at her so pained as he sat back down across from her.

"I did what I could." Her words were slow and defeated, each spoken with purpose. "Maybe I could've done more, but hindsight is 20/20. At the time, I did what I knew to do and each failed attempt just made me give up a little more." She looked for a reaction, but received none. He just hung his head and looked to the floor. "I would give you the chance to be there from the beginning if I could. I would do more. Maybe I wouldn't have run to France. But you have to remember what a mess I was then don't you?" He nodded. That was the best he could offer at the time. "I was a mess. That was right after my time with Doyle. My friend just died. A piece of me died. I didn't know who I was. Two years…" Her thoughts drifted as she remained in her mind.

"Two years?" He spoke and pulled her from the rain cloud she was stuck in.

"Yes… Two years. Emily Prentiss was nothing but an afterthought for two years. She… or I, ceased to exist for two years. I became Lauren Reynolds and the world went on without me. A piece of me literally died.

"I didn't realize it was that long." His comment was lost on her. It didn't even register. She just continued on.

"I came back from that mission so lost. I didn't know who I was anymore or what I was doing. I was lost, and then I saw you again…"

"You didn't tell me this then."

"Well, I couldn't then. You weren't read in and I didn't really know how to explain anything."

"I wish I had known. Now I feel like I took advantage of you."

"No!" She objected his thought. That was not her intention at all. "Don't feel like that. Don't think like that. You didn't take advantage. I needed it. I needed you. Being with you made me feel alive. With you, I was Emily again. And I'm not telling you this to make you feel bad, or worse."

"Then why are you telling me?" They were supposed to be talking about Charlie. Doyle and that mess was a topic for another time. It wasn't going anywhere, but time with Charlie was.

"I'm telling you this because I need you to understand." The story wasn't a pity ploy. She wasn't doing it to get him to stop being angry because he felt sorry for her. She just needed to start from the beginning to get him to understand. She wanted him to see the whole picture, not just be stuck with random pieces of the puzzle.

He was trying to be patient, but he was itching for her to get to the point so they could move on to more pressing matters. Time was of the essence and they needed to do it then. It was just hard for him to keep the rage inside him and keep calm. "I'm listening…" He was doing his best.

"When we were together, I was a disaster. But we did what we did because we needed each other. And I don't know about you, but I felt something then, there with you, that I needed to feel. And I don't regret it. How can I?" She was right. He felt something too, and being with her was perfect and easy, but that was all null and void. Time was gone. They were miles away from that place. And those feelings couldn't be felt. He refused to feel them. She refused to feel them too, but she just meant feeling alive again; feeling like herself. She felt carefree.

"I needed you then too."

"After that time, I went back to being confused and lost. I was broken and the pieces of my old life just didn't fit anymore."

"What is the point of this Emily?" He was losing patience. "Why aren't we talking about Charlie?"

"Please just listen."

Inhaling a slow, deep breath, he said. "Ok…"

"Did you read the letters?" It seemed they were moving passed that topic. What happened to listening?

"Every one of them."

"I wanted you to have them. I wrote each one with the intention of getting them to you."

"Yet, I never received even one."

"I know, but that's not the point right now."

"Then what is?" His anger was flaring again.

"If you read the letters, you know how I found out I was pregnant."

"You were sick or something."

"I was really sick and dehydrated. My blood pressure was low. I was pregnant, and I was losing weight. I could've lost her because I wasn't taking care of myself."

"But you didn't. She's here." He stood up and paced in front of her. She probably would've joined him but her body protested, so she watched and did it vicariously. "What does this have to do with you not telling me? Because that's what this is all about. You should've told me."

"Can you just please let me finish?" She pleaded.

"Fine." He reluctantly agreed as he sat again. "Finish."

"It took me some time to wrap my head around the idea of a baby. But as soon as I did, I tried to tell you. Even though I still wasn't in a great place, I tried to tell you. But I never succeeded. And after being so deep undercover and knowing the bad guy was still out there, you get a little paranoid. I was paranoid and I couldn't keep looking over my shoulder. Being stressed wasn't good for me or for her. So I needed to get away from it all."

"You went to France."

"I went to France. But I still didn't give up. I didn't stop trying. I took a little break, but I sent a letter. I tried again. And that one didn't get returned to me. I honestly thought you got it, but I never got a response and when I saw you, you didn't say anything."

"I never got it. So let me get this straight…" He was so easily brought to hysterics. It was like everything she did was wrong. "You gave up after that because you thought I didn't care? You stopped caring because I didn't respond to a letter I never received?"

"I never gave up." She insisted. "Yes, that was the last letter I sent, but I never stopped writing. If one day you happened to contact me, I wanted you to know that I never stopped, and I didn't. I documented everything for you and for me. Even for her."

"But you didn't try. That's the definition of giving up."

"I needed to stop. I was driving myself crazy. I was just getting stressed again. And I couldn't do that. That's not giving up. That's getting by. I'm sorry if my stopping hurt you, but I did it for my sanity and the wellbeing of our baby. I wouldn't undo that. What else did you want from me?"

She watched as his hands bunched the fabric of his pants into his fists. He was obviously upset with her, but she wanted to be honest. She gave it her all. What else did he want? At that point, there wasn't much more she could do. Later on, when they saw each other again, that was on her. But in the beginning, which seemed to be where all his hatred and anger stemmed from, she couldn't do anything else.

"We're never going to agree on what more could've been done. You'll always say you did all you could and I don't know if I'll ever believe that… But what about when you joined the BAU? Why didn't you tell me then? What excuse do you have for that?"

"I'm not making excuses Hotch…" She was exhausted. They had been talking for what felt like days and they still seemed to be at point A. He couldn't understand and everything she said just went in one ear and out the next. "I kept her from you. I'm not making excuses for that. I can't and I won't. You deserve more. All I'm trying to do is explain. That's it." Her voice was sad and timid. She didn't know how long she'd last in the hot seat.

"Then explain better. Why didn't you tell me as soon as you saw me?" Again with the yelling. He couldn't keep doing that. Although sometimes she felt like it, she wasn't some child he could scold. But she took it, because she needed to, and, on some level, she was a glutton for punishment. She felt she deserved it.

"It was my first day on the job. I just found out you were my boss. What was I supposed to say? Was I supposed to say 'Hey, I look forward to working with you, maybe sometime I'll bring our daughter by to meet everyone?'"

"Yes, you could've said that. At least then I would've known."

"A woman answered your phone Hotch."

"So…?"

"A woman answered your phone and as soon as I got acclimated and became part of the team, and just as I was about to tell you, I found out about Jack and Haley."

"And that took away my right to my daughter?"

"No… No of course not."

"Then what?"

"Do you know why I wanted to work for the FBI?" He thought that was a question straight out of left field, but if he wanted answers, he knew he had to play her game.

"Why?"

"I wanted in the BAU for a while, but I could've taken any job. I had offers from the state department. I had offers overseas, each one paid more and probably had better, less demanding hours, but I chose the FBI."

"Why?"

"Because you were there. I didn't know which department you were in and I honestly didn't know if you were still there, but I took that chance hoping you would be. I didn't think we'd be thrown into the same unit, but that was the way it worked out. I wanted to be there on the off chance you would still be there too, and I could tell you some day."

"But you didn't." Each word was said slow and deliberate; very punctuated for emphasis.

"No I didn't."

"Why Emily?" She half expected him to get on his hands and knees as he pleaded. "Please, just tell me why. Did you think I'd be a bad father?"

"Absolutely not. That is so far from the reality I was living."

"Then what was it?"

"When I was about to tell you, I found out you were married and already had a kid."

"You already said that Emily." They were entering a speed round; a continuous back and forth.

"So I couldn't tell you."

"Why?"

"At first I was angry."

"I read the letter, I get that. But if you asked, I would've told you we were separated at the time."

"It was still cheating."

"So you were punishing me?"

"No."

"But you said you were angry." Obviously, he didn't read the letters as well as she hoped. Maybe he just didn't care. He heard and saw what he wanted. Nothing she could do would change that.

"And I was. At first I was. But I couldn't stay mad."

"Then what? Why not tell me?"

"I saw you with Jack."

"And…?" He was waiting. All he got were "couldn't" and "can't," but where was the why?

"And I saw how happy he made you; how happy your family made you."

"She should've been part of that family too."

"She should've, but I was scared."

"You keep saying that. But why? Why were you scared? What were you so afraid of?"

"I don't know."

"Yes you do. Tell me. Just tell me…"

"I was scared of you."

"Me?"

"I was scared of ruining what you had." She failed to mention that she was terrified of his reaction. The way she saw it, it could've went one of three ways. One, he would've completely freaked, rejected the idea, and dismissed her and their daughter like they didn't exist. And if he did acknowledge them, it would've led to problems with Haley and Jack. Two, as soon as he found out he would've fought for custody and tried to take Charlie away. And Emily would not be ok with that. Or three, they could've made something work. The chances of the last seemed to carry the smallest odds. "I didn't want to ruin what you had; the family you had."

"How could you have known what kind of family I had? How could you have known if I was happy?"

"I couldn't, but I assumed you were."

"So now we have to suffer because years ago you assumed I as happy?"

"Were you happy?"

Was he happy? He didn't know how to answer, so he hesitated while he formed a way to say what he wanted. "I was trying to be." She could've been a part of that happy.

"Jack made you happy. He still does."

"Of course he does. He's my son."

"If I told you then, would Haley have left you and taken Jack like she did?"

"I don't know. But we'll never know now."

They continued to talk through it as best they could, but it just seemed that no headway was being made. Hours had gone by and not once had Charlie actually come up. It was all about the beginning. It was so focused on what was and what Emily did wrong, but that wasn't what the day was supposed to be about. It was supposed to be about a daughter and a father. It was supposed to be about acknowledging what was and finding a way to move forward. Emily didn't want to lose sight of that. They needed to focus on the now. It didn't matter if he knew when she first found out, if he learned about it two years ago or six months before, their daughter was five and soon, she'd want her father. That was the reality.

"That's enough!" She halted his angry rant. There was only so much a girl could take and she couldn't take anymore. "I heard what you had to say and I apologized. And then I apologized again. I can't rewind time so there's not much else I can say to make you feel better about that. We are where we are and that's what we have to deal with now."

"It's not enough. I'm not over that. I don't know if I ever will be." Everything Sean tried to tell him was forgotten.

"You're mad at me. You get to be mad, but we need to talk about what's going on now and we only have a few more hours. Do you think you can handle that?"

"Yes." Maybe. Nothing she said or did would help if he wasn't willing to try. If he didn't listen and attempt to understand they weren't going to ever move on. So yes, he could do that. And, if he couldn't do that, at least he'd have some knowledge of exactly who his daughter was and what she was like.

"Good. Let's start there. Ask me anything; whatever you want." They got settled again. This time they were in the dining room sitting adjacent each other at the table. It made for more intimate quarters.

It took him a little time to come up with his first question. There was so much he still didn't know and wanted to, but he didn't know where to start. "Does she ever ask about me?"

"As a member of my team, yes. She asks about you. She doesn't know you as anything else."

He was disappointed, but he knew that answer. A similar question came up when he first found out. "Tell me about her." Like he needed air to breathe, he just wanted to know anything… everything.

"Well, what do you want to know?"

"School… How is she in school?" It was the first thing that came to mind. It was the kids' first day back after break so it was on his mind. And, by the smile that took over Emily's face, he knew he found the right starting point. It was safe, but it worked.

"Oh God, she's so smart. All her teacher's love her." Every word, whether detailed or not, was being soaked up by Hotch. "She's the youngest in her class, has been since she started school. But she's so good at it and she loves it. She knows how to read and write better than most kids. She gets self conscious when she speaks it and she doesn't like to do it with anyone but me, but she does really well with French and Italian. When she's a little older, we'll start on Russian and Arabic; Spanish too. But only if she wants to. She really is so gifted. You'd be proud of her."

He listened to her happily ramble on about their daughter and he felt two things above all else. The first was pride. And he was proud, not only of her accomplishment and intellectual prowess but because he played a hand in creating that. She was exceptional and talented and he was proud. He helped make her. But the other thing he felt was distant. It was like they weren't discussing someone so closely related to him. There was only so much nature could give a kid. The rest was nurture and he had no hand in that. No, she was raised by a woman he once trusted and didn't know if he could trust again. She did a good job with Charlie. There was no question in that, but the job was his too. And he took his responsibilities seriously.

Emily broke out a photo album. It was the one from the box. He had seen it before, looked at it over and over again, but that time it was in a new light. The context behind each and every picture was explained in as much detail as possible. She was reliving memories and he was learning to become spectator to the past. But each story hurt him. His heart broke a little more with each passing page and he didn't know if the cracks could ever be repaired. He was grateful for all that Emily had given him, all that she told him, and all that she had done for and with their daughter, but nothing was making the forgiveness and acceptance any easier.

Every question he could think of was asked and answered. The intimate details of his daughter's life and routine were exposed by an inside source. And it was great. The new found knowledge was great. But he was robbed of the experience. He was robbed of time. And he was robbed of the opportunity to do a father's job. He couldn't learn Charlie's quirks and eccentricities the way most parents did; one by one as the child grew. He was just playing a continuous game of catch up. He didn't like to be behind.

"Are you ok Hotch?" Emily asked after noticing the faraway look in his eyes. He hadn't said anything for a while. It was worrisome and she didn't know what to make of it. He looked like he was on sensory overload trying to process everything that had been said while simultaneously trying to plan an escape route. "Talk to me, please."

"When I found out, all I wanted to do was dive head first into a bottle. I wanted to forget; pretend it didn't happen. All I kept thinking was, 'She's lying. She would've told me. Emily wouldn't do this to me.' But you did."

"We've been over this. I'm sorry. It has been said. It's dead and buried. Why are you bringing this up again?"

"But it always comes back to that. She hasn't needed me from the start. Why would she need me now?"

"What are you saying? Of course she needs you."

"I don't know if I can do this. I don't know how to forgive you." Hearing that, she had enough. She was a strong woman. As was her daughter. They hadn't needed him for the last six years. They didn't need him then either. They were perfectly capable all on their own. And if he couldn't accept the facts as they were laid out for him over the previous six or so hours, he would never accept them.

"Then go."

"Excuse me?" Flabbergasted; that was how he felt and if there was a word to describe that moment's shock better, he didn't know it.

"Then go. If you can't do this, if you don't know if you want to do this, or if you can't forgive me, then you should go. Because I'm always going to be a part of this. She is my daughter and I won't have you treating her unfairly as some twisted way to get revenge against me. And if you can't be there for her, as her father, 100%, then I don't want you to be here at all. You can't swoop into her life, get to know her, and then leave. That's not fair to her. So what do you want?" He was impressed by her strength and beauty. She was a mother lion protecting her baby, and the strength and courage she showed was the picture of the real Emily. The real Emily wouldn't be this scared little girl trapped in a woman's body. She'd be exactly who she was at that moment. Strong, independent, fiercely protective, and head strong; that was her. That was the Emily he cared for. Despite the injuries that still marred her, despite the pains and weaknesses, and despite the feelings he knew she was burying deep inside, she was standing tall, holding her own, and showing him who was boss.

"I don't know."

"Well figure it out because we have lives to live and we can't keep playing this game of tug-o-war."

"You lied to me in a way so primal, so important, so inconsiderate…" The thought trailed off. "I don't know where to start to forgive. Where do we start?"

"I don't know. I don't have the answer."

"I don't either, but I'm going to try. We're going to try." The anger and resentment was still there, but it'd lessen in time; he hoped. But he'd put up with Emily to have the relationship he then craved with Charlie. He needed to know his daughter, and that meant having Emily in the picture. There was no escaping that. Until she was back at work, they'd only have to see each other at Charlie related visits. That was all either could deal with for the time being. It would be a difficult road, but they would face it together; only alone… separate.

"Did she ever ask about me?" He questioned, but he knew he already asked that. He worded it wrong. "Her father, I mean. Did she ever ask about her father? Me?" His voice was hopeful, like getting a yes would mean Charlie loved him and thought about him too and that everything was or would be worth it.

"No." That wasn't the right answer. She knew it, but she didn't want to lie anymore. And she could see what ever progress was made was quickly being reversed. For every step forward they were taking leaps back.

"Oh." He was heartbroken. The internal tornado was once again tearing his body to shreds. He just wanted to get out of there. He wanted to escape this new world and go back to the old. Whatever security in the future he had, whatever they began to work through… All progress was gone.

"Not really. She is a very smart girl. She usually asked the questions she wanted without really asking." That got him intrigued; hopeful again.

"What do you mean?"

"She'd ask around it." Emily explained. "Instead of directly asking where dad is she'd state that the other kids had daddies around. It's her way of dragging the information out without actually asking."

"She wasn't curious about me at all?" The way his voice almost cracked like he was about to cry made her physically ill. Had she been the poison apple all along? Had she been the evil stepmother keeping the princess from her prince, or in their case, her king, her father?

"I'm sure she is. She's just not at that stage where she needs to know yet and I didn't want to force it. I know it's coming. I can feel it, but I'm not going to drag it out of her."

"If she asked, would you have told her?"

"Honestly…" She looked to him. He nodded as a way of telling her to continue. "I don't know. I… I probably would've answered any questions she had about you and then asked her if she wanted to meet you."

"And if she said yes?"

"Then I would've tried to make it happen."

"I doubt it." He said under his breath. It was meant to be an internal thought, not something she could hear, but she did.

"I'd do anything for her. If she wanted to see you, I would've made it happen. I would've pushed all my failed attempts and insecurities aside and just did it. I owe that to her… and you."

"Owing and repaying a debt are two different things."

She couldn't count the number of times she sighed that day, but there was one more to add to the count. "You're right." Too many things were going on in her head to articulate, but she just pushed them all to the side. "This is for Charlie." She reminded herself. And no matter how frustrated he got, she'd keep going until they came to some sort of resolution; good or bad, but hopefully the former. He could tear her down, berate her, and be mad at her all he wanted. She had a daughter to think about. "They are two very different things, but I don't have a debt to repay. She is not a debt or a repayment. I owed you and her the opportunity to get to know one another and that's what I'm doing. I'm not in debt. And I don't think you should see it that way."

"And if I do…?"

"I don't know; I honestly don't. But I get this is confusing. It's a lot to take in and it changes everything, but it's happening whether you're ready for it or not. It happened a long time ago."

"And I've known about it for a little over a week."

"Yes and where has that got you?"

"What do you know?" Frustrated… So beyond frustrated…

"I don't know." And that was the problem. He was too busy being mad at her to let her know what he was feeling or how he wanted to go on.

"Well what do you want? Do you want to know her? Do you want to be in her life? What do you want?" The clock was ticking. They needed to have it done within thirty minutes because school was out and she'd be home soon. Maybe working everything out in one day was a stretch, but they had to at least resolve one issue. He needed to decide if he wanted to be her dad. That shouldn't take forever to answer.

He was nervous; more nervous than he had been before and he didn't truly know what he wanted. He knew that she was his, and they had that instant connection. But was that enough? Could they make it enough? "I want to be there for her. I just don't know how."

"You just be there. That's it. Just be there…" She tried to ease his racing mind. It wasn't as simple as she was saying. They both knew that, but they also knew it wasn't as difficult as he was making it. All he had to do was give a little and he'd get so much more. He had yet to figure out how much he was willing to give.

"And I don't even know how to do that."

"Do you love Jack?" That wasn't the response he was expecting and it wasn't a question she thought needed to be asked, but it was the calm and rational way to go about things. And while she just wanted to scream and yell and tell him to grow up and just love and accept the beautiful, although unplanned, child they created, she knew she couldn't. It was about more than the responsibility. He never lacked in that department and he wouldn't then either, she was sure, but it had to be about more than that. It had to be about love or not at all.

"Of course I do. He's my son. He has been the biggest part of my life since the day I learned about him."

"And no matter what happens, you'll love him?"

"Absolutely."

"Unconditionally, with all your heart?"

"Yes."

"If he cries, you're there for him?"

"Where else would I be?"

"You show up for him when he needs you?"

"I'd do whatever I can, whenever I can."

"When you see him, talk about him, when you even just think about him, does the world seem better? Brighter?"

"The world seems complete." His answers when the questions came to Jack were so precise and certain; a drastic comparison to the unsure questions he gave in response to anything daughter related. His love for Jack was so clear, evident in every heartfelt word he spoke. And, while she tried to ignore the fact, Emily didn't sense that when it came to Charlie. With her he was never clear and the emotions behind those words were always muddled.

"And you love him, despite any flaws, you love him?"

"Yes."

"See, you know how to do it. You know how to be there." She assured him. Now was the tough question, although it didn't seem that tough to her. "The way you love Jack is the way I love Charlie." Looking him straight in the eyes she asked the biggest question of the day. "Can you love her like that too?"

The time it took him to answer was not a good sign. He had to say yes. There was no other answer. Nothing else was acceptable. But the wait was killing her. And each passing second weighed on her until the anvil finally dropped. "I…" Could he? Did he? "I don't know." Now her heart was officially broken; shattered for the heartbreak her daughter would surely feel if she ever knew. He wasn't even sure he said it out loud and he wasn't sure he meant it. He was still just so confused and so lost. And she was asking questions about Jack like they were the same. But they weren't. Charlie wasn't Jack. She never would be. But could he love her the same? "I don't know." He repeated his voice just above a whisper. The words just came out before he could truly process any of it. He wasn't sure if he meant it, but he said it. Why did he say that?

"You should leave." That was all she could allow herself to say because nothing else was clear. Her mind was stuck somewhere in tsunami, drowning in the chaos. Hearing it and thinking it were two very different feelings and the reality was so much worse. The tears of the catastrophic mess were threatening to fall and she didn't want him to see. She didn't want to look at him or hear any more. She just didn't want him there. Period. He needed to leave, before she decided the punch she wanted to give him was actually a good idea. "You should leave now." Her voice was persistent leaving no room for petulance, but he tried his luck.

"Emily…" What had he done? Did he mean it? No, right? He was just confused. He was hurting. But he did say it… Did he really think he couldn't love her the same way he loved Jack? What was wrong with him?

"Please, just go." She pleaded. She needed him gone before she really broke down. "Go!"

"Go?"

"I'm not asking. You need to leave."

He wasn't in any position to argue. He essentially just told her he couldn't love his daughter, and he pretty much did say he didn't love her the way he loved Jack. And the look on Emily's face wasn't doing him any favors. It was seconds away from killing him. He needed to escape that look if he ever wanted to live with his reflection again. And he wasn't even sure he could. The way the glare bore into him and made him look and feel like the monster he had become to her; it would follow him everywhere. It would forever be engrained on his brain.

As quickly as he could, he grabbed his coat and prepared to leave, but she had one last thing to say. She stood from the couch as best she could and struggled to keep up with him as he raced through her house, but she stopped him right at the door.

"You can't just run away. I'm standing here, right in front of you. Our daughter will be home any minute. We're here. You can't run. Or more importantly, you can't hide." Her voice was almost chilling sending shivers through his spine. "She's a fact. She exists and that's not changing." Her voice was beginning to crack and she didn't want her emotions to show. She just wanted to say her last peace and get him out of there. "So you figure out what you need to figure out. And in the meantime, we'll be fine just like we have been. But now, if she asks, I'm not going to lie. I'll tell her about you. I'll say nice things. I'll tell the truth. But if she asks where you are, I'm going to tell her you're not here. That you won't be there and that's your choice. I'm tired of keeping things to myself. And as terrible as I feel right now, I won't tell anyone that it's you. If the father topic comes up again, out of respect for you," which she was lacking at that moment, "I won't say it's you. It's just some guy I used to know; some guy I thought I knew better than I did." She would do that for him; protect his name even though she truly hated him at the time. Maybe it was a twisted sense of loyalty or maybe it was just to protect her daughter's heart or her own actions… She didn't know.

"Thank you." He whispered as he made his leave. No one could hear him, but it needed to be said. "You really have done an amazing job with her." He couldn't have done better himself.

And with that last sentiment, he left as fast as he could, literally running to his car and speeding away. There Emily stood, bewildered and forlorn. How could she ever tell her daughter the day's events? She finally had her answers, and it only made her feel worse. The wooded floor beneath her could've swallowed her whole and she wouldn't have known the difference. She felt hallow and stiff. What just happened? Had her ears deceived her? Were signals crossed? People they meet on their job aside, how could anyone not love their daughter, their child? How could he say that? How could he mean that? Did he once think what it would do to Charlie? Obviously not… Why would he when he didn't care about her?

Time seemed meaningless. She didn't know how long she stood in the exact same spot replaying that conversation over and over. Where did it go so wrong? She kept asking herself how they got there. Why would he say that? The loop in her mind only stopped when the nagging pains throughout her body became too much. The tears she tried so hard to keep from falling were furiously sliding off her face. Her daughter couldn't see her like that. Whatever she was feeling, she couldn't let Charlie see. She needed to push it down and forget it as best she could until she was alone.

So after the grueling and very demanding day with Hotch, her emotions were on overdrive and she needed something to take her mind off it. Charlie would be home soon and they'd do something together that would temporarily appease her, but she needed something to distract her and lift her spirits until then. She had the perfect idea. Wiping the remnants of tears from her eyes and pulling out her cell, she cleared her throat of the crying haze and hit a very familiar speed dial number and waited for the jubilant voice that she knew and loved.

"You have reached the goddess of wisdom. Speak and be heard." She must've thought it was the team.

"Garcia." If anyone could cheer her up, it was her.

"Oh, Emily the strange and great. What can I do for you?"

Trying to sound as upbeat and happy as possible even though her insides felt like they were being ripped to shreds both physically and mentally, she said, "I had this bizarre dream last night that you drugged me."

"Uh… You did?" Guilty. She knew she wasn't hallucinating that.

"Funny thing is, when I woke up, I felt a little hung-over, and I know I didn't drink that much."

"Well you see…"

"And it got me thinking. Maybe it wasn't a dream after all."

"Tell me about this dream." She wouldn't implicate herself.

"I don't know, I was pretty delirious, but I could've sworn you told JJ you did a thing. But you wouldn't do that, would you Pen?"

"I don't know what you're talking about buttercup. I would never crush the pills into your water. Who would ever do such a thing?" Emily could hear her nervousness and that alone made the tension in her body momentarily subdue. The nervous banter that followed didn't hurt either. And when she confessed, it just got funnier. A giggle that she forgot she had escaped her lips. "Oh Sugar, you're not mad at me are you? I was just trying to help you. You looked so… so…" Emily didn't even want to imagine the word that would've been used. It was highly unlikely that it was something flattering.

"I know Garcia."

"So you're not mad? You're not going to take away my Charlie privileges are you? We've made plans."

"Hmm, now that you mention it." Toying with Garcia was always lighthearted fun.

"Absolutely not Emily Prentiss. Absolutely not…" At least somebody else wanted her daughter in their life other than her.

"No, I'm joking. You can still see her, but I'm limiting what you buy her. She has enough as it is. There's no more room."

"I'll accept that. But how do I say no to that cute little mini Prentiss face? How do you ever say no to that kid?"

"I don't."

Emily welcomed Garcia as the best temporary fix. Just listening to the technical genius made Hotch irrelevant. But it was a mere butterfly stitch to a massive wound and there'd be a long recovery process. She didn't think it would ever heal. And even if it did, it would never heal properly. The armor would always be flawed and the scar would always be jagged. But there she was, listening to the bubbly sounds of Garcia's voice and her thoughts still trailed off. Could they get passed it? Would they? Did she want to invite that potential upset into their home?

"Hey Em, you ok?"

"I'm fine."

"You sound spacey. You sure everything's alright?"

"Yeah, I think Charlie just got home. I'll call you later."

"Bye Em."

She couldn't think of anything better than seeing Charlie's bright and smiley face. No matter what she did, she realized, everything that happened would remain in forethought. There was no escaping that. Maybe it was easy for Hotch, but Charlie was her life and anything involving her was always a priority, especially something as life altering as a father who chose to walk away. Was that even what he was doing? Was he walking away? She was still so uncertain. It was like the entire day was a foggy mess. All she wanted to do was be with her daughter. There was no better medicine.

"Hey baby." Emily smiled as the little girl, so full of life, ran to her. "How was your first day back?"

"So good. But we already have homework."

"You do?"

"Uh huh."

"Well why don't you go get it all out on the table and we'll work on it together. Then you can cook me dinner."

"I can cook all by myself?" She was excited at the prospect.

"How about I help you?"

"Ok." And she was off, running into the dining room to set up her homework and wait for Emily.

The moment of peace brought no clarity. Sitting with her working on math problems didn't erase the day from Emily's mind. The further she pushed it away, the more she thought about it. And she couldn't do that. She was on the verge of a breakdown and no child should witness such. So she did everything in her power to just be ok. They did the homework. They cooked and cleaned. They bathed and laughed and read books. But it wasn't working because all she saw was the astonishing little thing she made with him and wondered how he could reject her. How could he walk away from something so innocent and so perfect?

"Come on Charlie, bed time."

"Can I sleep down here with you?" Truth was, she wanted to be as close to her as she could, but, even though it was easier for her body to just stay on the couch, the couch was no place for her daughter to sleep.

"As long as you're careful, why don't we sleep in my big bed?"

"Really?" The younger's enthusiasm warmed her wounded heart. They needed each other. That's it. No one else. They certainly didn't need him.

"Go get Jazz and your pillow and I'll meet you in my room."

"Ok but hurry."

"I'll try." Emily assured her, and just like that the blissfully ignorant little girl ran as fast as she could to her room. She had no idea the world she could want one day was so far out of reach and pulled even further every minute. Maybe it was better that way.

Cuddling in bed with Charlie was comforting as much as it was painful; physically of course, but mentally as well. Charlie, with her sleepy eyes and rosy cheeks, turned to Emily and said, "I missed this mommy. Can I sleep in here forever?"

Delicately brushing the dark locks from the porcelain face, Emily smiled. "One day you're not going to want to cuddle with me."

Charlie was appalled by the thought. "I'll always want to cuddle with you. You're my mommy and I love you."

"I love you too Charlie Bear. But it's sleepy time. You have school tomorrow."

"One more story?"

"Just one more." Emily made up a story, one of the team that Charlie loved so much. The only difference in that one was that Sir Aaron wasn't key. He wasn't the usual knighted hero and she wasn't going to build him up anymore just to break her daughter's heart later.

"Night mommy." Charlie said as the story ended.

"Good night baby. Sleep tight." Charlie instinctively scooted closer to Emily as she settled into the bed. Emily didn't mind the pain. She could ignore the persistent throbbing because she simply needed the gentle, soothing touch her daughter could provide. They both needed it whether Charlie knew it or not.

Emily continued to run a hand through her daughter's hair as the girl drifted off. Would Hotch ever do that with her? Once again, she thought back to everything that was said. She still couldn't believe it. As angry as he was at her, she never actually thought he'd take it out on their child. How could he do that? And she had to believe that was what it was about because she just couldn't accept any other reason. He talked so lovingly when it came to Jack. He even smiled at the mere mention of his name. The more she asked, the more he lit up. But then it was gone as soon as Charlie was mentioned. What she thought was a simple question gave her an answer that she'd never forget; an answer that made her sick to her stomach and tormented her every thought.

"_See, you know how to do it. You know how to be there." She assured him. Now was the tough question, although it didn't seem that tough to her. "The way you love Jack is the way I love Charlie." Looking him straight in the eyes she asked the biggest question of the day. "Can you love her like that too?"_

"_I… I don't know."_ _She waited for more. "I don't know."_ _He repeated his voice just above a whisper._

How the hell could he not know? He was supposed to say yes. Without even thinking about it, he was supposed to say that good or bad, he'd be there for her too. But that didn't happen. Her hand wrapped protectively over Charlie's sleeping form. "I will always be here. Don't you forget that." She didn't want to cry, but she just couldn't stop it either. A single, silent tear ran down her cheek. "You're going to be ok. It's going to be ok. I promise. No matter what he says, I know he loves you. But I won't let him hurt you. "Maneuvering around as best she could, she pulled the blankets higher on the tiny body. "I'll protect you from whatever I can. And if that means your father, then I'll protect you from him. But you have people who love you. JJ loves you and Henry and Will. And Penelope can't get enough of you. I'm pretty sure you took over the role of Princess for Morgan. Then there's Reid and Dave… So many people love you, your heart is safe. Mostly because I love you." She really did, more than anything. "I don't know how this is going to work out. But I'm always here for you. I'll always love you. That will never change."

Knowing that her daughter was safe in her arms and, at least for the night, nothing and no one could harm her, Emily didn't fight the sleep. It was early, but with the exhaustion from the taxing day and the silent tears that she still felt falling, sleep was a welcomed concept. She drifted off knowing that she'd shield Charlie from the evils of the world. She'd keep her from the reality of her father. She'd just protect her.

Hotch had surprised her that day in the worst way possible. That was what she thought as she fell asleep that night. Who was that man? That wasn't the guy she grew to know or the man she thought he was when they first met. She wasn't asking for much, or anything. All he had to do was acknowledge her, get to know her if he wanted, and be there for her if need be. She didn't want or need his money. All she wanted was to give a little girl her father and a friend his daughter. And being mad at her wasn't a good enough reason not to be there.

But what bothered her most was that he could love Jack so completely and just walk away from Charlie without a second thought. How could he sit there all day and learn all about her and feel nothing? How could he not know? She couldn't help but feel it was all her fault. If he had known from the beginning the issue at hand wouldn't have even been a factor. If she just tried harder… If she just pushed through her insecurities and told him… If… If… If… She was back to the what ifs again and she just couldn't do it.

She found the solace she craved in her daughter's face. It was moments like that where she wished she couldn't see the speck of Hotch in the sea of Emily. She had never been so grateful that her genes were so strong. There would never be any resentment. She could've looked just like her father and Emily would've felt no different. But, especially after that day, she was so glad there was only a little of him in her. They were Prentiss girls. They had their own identities. Charlie didn't have to know the Hotchner in her to know who she was. They'd get through it. They always did. They had to.

They had lives to live. He didn't have to be an immediate part of it. They'd be colleagues and nothing more. Assuming it was ok with him, Jack and Charlie could still see each other, as friends not siblings, and everything else would go on like it ordinarily would. But things weren't normal. And, however things played out, she'd never forget what happened.

The incessant ringing of her phone pulled her away from her happy dream where the world didn't seem so dark and the day ceased to happen. "Hello?" She asked irritably, neglecting to check the ID. She really should've because she was in no mood to deal with the person on the other line.

"Emily…"

**I took a lot out of this chapter. The conversation was longer and had more of everything, but it seemed like too much. So I kept the important parts and ended up with this. I also felt there needed to be some levity in it all s I through in that bit with Garcia. Hope you all like it. **

**Know there is a method to my madness. If Hotch seems a little out of character, well, it's possible he is. But his reaction seems plausible to me given the situation I put his character in. However, there's a reason for everything… Remember that. **

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**


	16. Finding a Way to Deal

Chapter 16: Finding a Way to Deal

When Hotch left Emily's house, he couldn't quite understand the gravity of what he had done. He sped out of there so fast with no real direction. He didn't want to go home. He didn't want to be anywhere. He didn't know what he needed or how to cope. Driving around with no sense of direction or purpose was all he could think to do. And yet, somehow, he ended up back there. Somehow, he drove back to Emily's, parked on the other side of the street and arrived just in time to see his daughter come home.

The simple glimpse of her in waking hours, with full knowledge that she was his flesh and blood, was enough to send him reeling. She was more affectionate with, who he presumed to be, Sarah than she ever was or probably would be with him. Again, like one of the creeps they put away, he watched from afar. What he was hoping to get from watching was still unclear, but he just couldn't take his eyes off of her. For the few seconds she was outside, his eyes were glued to her. He watched as she hopped out of the backseat, her oversized backpack colorfully hanging off one shoulder.

Even through the distance he could see her picturesque smile; the one that could bring out the happiness on even the worst of days. Charlie skipped from the cab of the vehicle; only stopping to make sure the door was closed. Sarah waited for her at the hood of the car holding her hand out for the little girl to take, which she happily did once she finished her euphoric skips. Although he was nowhere near close enough to hear what was being said, he watched as they walked through the gate and to the door, their mouths moving the entire way.

Sarah bent down and probably whispered something along the lines of, "I'll see you tomorrow Charlie" or "Have fun with your mom." He couldn't be sure, but that was what he imagined. And imagine was all he'd probably ever get to do, especially after what he did.

He continued observing the scene as Sarah started back to her car. She must've realized that Charlie hadn't gone in yet because she turned around and made a hand gesture that could only be interpreted to mean, "Go on." That should've been him. And it could've been, but he ruined any chance of that. Yet, knowing all he did, saying what he said… he was still drawn there… back as a spectator to the world, their world, as it continued on without him. He rolled down the car window a little more on the off chance he could hear her sweet voice. And he did. Before entering the house, Charlie turned to the car and waved saying, "Bye Sarah." Her cute little voice sucked him in just like everything else about her. He wanted to run up there and pretend that nothing happened, but he couldn't. He wanted to go up to her and say, "Daddy's home," and give her the world's biggest hug, but he couldn't. He had to settle for pretending he was on the receiving end of her gesture. And he was going to have to find a way to deal with that. It was a choice he made, however unplanned it was.

"Bye Charlie." He responded to the air as he waved back. For a split second, it looked like she saw him, like she was looking right at him. It seemed so real.

All that could've been his, but he threw it away. He threw the possibility of her away. He felt like the worst person alive. There was no lower feeling that he could imagine. And if there was one out there, he never wanted to feel it. That was when he knew he just needed to go home. He'd call Jack and do just what he wanted to do the moment he found out. But it wasn't that simple. Nothing ever was.

Waiting until she was fully inside and gone from his view, Hotch restarted the ignition and was back to speeding off. Home sweet home; all empty and alone, left with nothing but the memory of the day to dwell on. At first, he just sat there. Shades were drawn. Lights were off. There was no TV or music in the background. It was just him and his thoughts as he sat in his usual chair just staring at the unopened bottle before him.

He knew he shouldn't do it. He had work in the morning and was in no place to drown his problem with alcohol, but he couldn't help it. It was like a craving. He just needed something temporary; something to dull the pain he created. And the expensive whiskey Rossi bought him for Christmas would surely hit the right spot. But it wasn't even five yet. It was too early. But did he care? No, he didn't. It was happy hour somewhere.

He was, however, a responsible man and he wasn't going to call Jack in anything less than a sober state. So if he was going to drink, which he knew he was; the bottle was just so tempting, he'd have to call Jack early. It wouldn't be his normal call. Normally it was right before bedtime and they'd do their whole routine. But he needed to do it then.

Placing a call to his former number was just another reminder of everything he lost. He lost Haley, but that was no surprise. But because of that, he lost Jack. Now he lost Charlie too, but that was all on him; even though he liked to blame Emily. With the exception of his job, which Strauss liked to threaten every chance she got, he didn't have much else to lose. He was just drowning in self pity.

"Hello."

"Hi Haley."

"Aaron, how are you?"

"Fine." He was in no mood for pleasantries. He just wanted, needed, to talk to his son. Jack wasn't completely lost to him yet. The boy was taken, but not lost, and Hotch was desperate to hold on to him through the distance. "Is Jack there?"

"He's doing his homework now Aaron." He knew the custom. When he got home from school, Jack changed and had an afternoon snack before doing his homework and going to soccer or whatever activity he had that day. They started it a long time ago. But he needed to know that Jack was still his. He needed to hear the boy's voice so filled with love as they talked, especially when all he heard was contempt from everyone else even when there was none.

"I know…" What was the right way to say it without saying it? "I just…. I need to talk to him. Please."

Sensing the sadness of his tone she asked, "Is everything alright?" No…

"It's fine… I just… need to hear his voice." He explained as he made his way into the kitchen to fetch a glass.

"Rough case on your first day back?"

"Something like that. Can I talk with him?"

"Just, hold on a second." It was obvious he needed it, and she wasn't going to deny him that. In the background, he could hear her calling for Jack and telling him it was his father on the phone. They enjoyed their daily calls.

"Daddy!" Aaron heard Jack yell into the receiver, pulling him from his activities.

"Hey buddy. How was school?" He listened intently to every word his son spoke. It gave him comfort when he felt he didn't deserve it. And he didn't. He didn't deserve to find peace when he was sure Emily, and, by extension, Charlie, was hurting. He just sat there and listened to Jack as he perused the room looking for his next distraction.

That was when he saw it. Any comfort he got from Jack was lost upon the sight of it. He immediately stood from his seat at the table and quickly moved to the fridge. Why'd he put it there? Why'd he leave it there? "Daddy? Daddy? Are you still there?"

"Ah, yeah." He was finally pulled back into reality. "Yeah Jack, I'm still here."

"What were you doing?"

"I was just looking at something."

"What was it? Was it something cool?" It was cool, but he didn't know whether or not to tell him what it was. Of course, it was nothing bad; just a reminder. But he wouldn't understand what that meant.

"Very cool."

"What was it?" How was he supposed to explain to a seven year old that it was a picture his sister drew of her, although she didn't know it at the time, family?

He couldn't, so he simply said, "Just a picture. I'll show it to you when you come over next."

"That's soon, right dad?"

"Soon…" There was a little more talking before they said their goodbyes, but the whole time he was preoccupied. He found his distraction; it just wasn't one he wanted. The point was to distract him from the Emily situation, not remind him of it. And staring at the drawing did just that. That was them; her mom, dad, and her, but she didn't know that. Yet it made him wonder if somewhere in her heart or in the back of her mind, she knew there was something about him; the same way he knew there was something about her when they first met.

Hanging up with Jack was hard even though he was preoccupied. He wanted to cling to his son the way he couldn't with his daughter. And it was his fault. He'd say it over and over again. His problems were his fault. He was having trouble accepting her. And it had nothing to do with her. She was perfect. She was her mother's daughter, and that was more the problem. It wasn't that she was like Emily; it was that she was independent like Emily. They were living a good life; a great life that didn't include him. He didn't want to ruin that. He couldn't. They deserved more than he could give. And his mind was asking, "Why ruin a good thing?" That's what it was, wasn't it? A good thing? They were the perfect mother daughter pair. What use would they have for him when they seemed more than happy without him? But looking at that picture, he tried to understand what the little girl saw. What did the world look like through her big chocolaty irises? Was the world a better place? Was she wondering where he was? Did she care?

Returning to the living room with his tumbler, he sat in the exact spot he previously vacated. Giving into temptation, he poured himself a tall glass of the hard stuff and leaned back into his chair. As he downed his drink like a frat boy at a keg party, he took turns staring at two things; the drawing in his hand and the stolen picture frame resting on the table next to the bottle. His original plan was never to take it, but when he was left alone in Emily's room, he was drawn to it like he was to her. It was just sitting on the end table calling his name and it pulled him in. It was just so perfect; three little kids, all part of the BAU family, happy and smiling and together.

He remembered JJ telling him about the picture, but he never actually got a copy from her. He had a right to have one too. That was his son in that picture… and his daughter. His son… His daughter… Their friend… Two of those happy kids were his and only two people would ever know it… Only one of those kids would ever call him dad or go to him with problems or for support. What had he done? He let silly insecurities get the better of him when he should've instantly embraced the idea. He always thought about having more kids. She wasn't exactly planned and she wasn't exactly traditional, but he got what he wanted. Now, he had another child, and he turned his back on her like she was nothing. But she was so much more. He just didn't want to let her down.

Things just weren't right, and he didn't understand how he ended up where he was; alone and far from sober… All he could do was sit there and wallow in his self pity, hoping beyond hope that the alcohol would, at least, dull the consistent, nagging ache in his heart as his eyes remained glued to the two items before him. It was pathetic. He was pathetic. Everything about the situation screamed pathetic. But he didn't do much more than look and drink as he stayed in his spot for the remainder of the night.

In the morning, he woke to the loud cries of his phone alarm alerting him to the long, trying day ahead. His neck was stiff, his head was pounding, and the nauseous feeling in his stomach wasn't making the morning any more appealing. And to think, for just a fraction of a second, a wonderful second, he thought the previous day was nothing more than a terrible dream; a nightmare. But, alas, it was his life. He really was that stupid and that pitiful. No amount of drinking would take that away. It only made the day worse. Because, not only did he have to deal with the emotional upheaval, but the physical ailments as well. Great job Hotch.

Work was going to be difficult. That much he knew. Everything else, he wasn't so sure about. Nothing was clear in the haze he was living. So popping a few aspirin for his hangover and showering the stench of booze from his body, Hotch got ready for work. Pressed suit on, teeth brushed, and hair combed, Aaron Hotchner was ready for action. As ready as he'd ever be given the hangover he was nursing…

Walking into FBI headquarters, Hotch had never been so happy to be an early bird. He didn't know if he could deal with the team before another cup of coffee and some time to settle down in his office. The quiet trip from his car to the solemn elevator and the remaining steps over to his office was just what he needed to clear his mind; as best he could anyway. He was still in a fog and his mind was racing, but he was a man gifted with the skill of separation. His utterly dysfunctional home life wouldn't affect his work. He wouldn't let it. He couldn't. His work was one of the only things he was sure of at the moment and he couldn't lose it. So he had to separate the two. Everything else was in some sort of disarray. Things between him and Haley were decent, but still tense and a little messed up. They were co-parenting as best they could, but he barely got to see Jack and when he did, it just wasn't enough. And he didn't even want to start his thoughts in on the Emily and Charlie train. That was just too much of a disaster to even remotely begin to deal with again, especially when it turned out so great the first time.

Ungracefully plopping down in his plushy leather desk chair, Hotch released a disgruntled groan. It was not going to be his day. Running his hand over his face in an attempt to just brush it all away, he began preparing for the rest of his work day. When he went to pull out some files he had taken home with him to review, he unknowingly dropped something to the ground, startled by the heavy thud. He couldn't believe he packed it. It wasn't a conscious choice on his part. The plan was just to forget. But as he reached down to pick up the frame, he realized, for the first time, just how impossible that was going to be. Impossible was an understatement.

Charlie was downright haunting him. She probably would until he figured things out. Invading his thoughts and his life, he didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to fix it. Staring at the broken frame before him was like looking at a reflection of his life. Things were broken, shattered like the glass that covered the picture. They were still whole, or practically so, but as a unit, they were broken. They were cracked and practically impossible to repair. He just had to do something to fix things. But first, he had to clean up the mess he made of his office floor. Stepping on glass shards wouldn't exactly make his day any better.

"Son of a Bitch!" He yelled as the glass caught his skin piercing through the flesh of his finger.

"Aaron?" The unexpected voice startled him. And as he went to stand, his head hit the edge of his desk.

"Damn it." There was another dose of aspirin in his future.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah Dave." He started as he peeled himself off the floor, one hand rubbing his sore head, the other in a fist squeezing the tissue over his cut. "I'm fine."

"It's dark in here." Rossi said motioning to the closed blinds and flicking on the light switch. "Rough night last night?" He asked as he took in Hotch's appearance.

"Just one night?" He asked rhetorically. "That's all I get?" It had been a rough couple of weeks and he just seemed to be making it all worse each day.

"Did something happen on your day off?" Rossi was concerned. Aaron never seemed so not put together. Normally, even on the worst of days, he was poised and composed.

"Everything's fine Dave. Thanks for the concern."

"Aaron…" He chastised. "This is me you're talking to. How long have we known each other?" He asked while giving a pointed look. "What's going on?"

"It's nothing." It was so far from nothing and Rossi could tell. "Really, I'm fine. What's that?" Hotch asked trying to change the subject as he pointed to the file in the older man's hand. "New case?"

"No, just turning in an old report. But don't change the subject. You look terrible."

"Thanks Dave."

"No, you do. You look like someone just scrapped you off the barroom floor, cleaned you up, and threw you into a designer suit. And that's not like you. So what's happening with you? First you take a day off and now you show up looking like this…"

Hotch didn't think it would be that easy to get Rossi off his back. Why would it? It was like nothing he had been doing recently was easy. "There's just some stuff going on. It's nothing I can't handle." It was a lie. Obviously he wasn't handling anything very well. "I'll be ok."

"What's that picture you got there?" Rossi asked in attempt to both lighten the conversation and keep Hotch talking. There was something up; he just didn't know what it was.

Passing him the broken frame, Hotch said, "It's from Henry's birthday."

"Look at them, they're all so happy." Dave said as he examined the photo. "Did you know about her?"

"What?" The question, while innocent, caught him off guard. Charlie was a sensitive subject for him, but Dave didn't know that. It almost felt like Dave was questioning his parenting ability. Like how could he not know about her? In reality, Hotch knew that wasn't what was happening, but he couldn't stop the feeling that the question had deeper meaning. He felt attacked, like he was being a bad dad. But he was the best father he could be… to Jack. But not to Charlie… He was projecting his beliefs onto Dave. He had to compose himself. He was good at that. Separation; he reminded himself.

Rossi was curious, a little concerned, and very unsure what was going on. "I asked if you knew about her. Maybe Emily told you and asked you to keep it to yourself? Henry's birthday was back in November, before any of this happened."

"I met her when I dropped off Jack. She looked familiar but I didn't put the pieces together." He should have. "All I knew was that she was a friend of Henry's and she seemed close to JJ. So I trusted that. I didn't feel the need to interrogate a kid."

"It's a little crazy though, isn't it?" Noticing Hotch's slight confusion and overall tone of discomfort, Rossi continued. "We think we know someone, and we do; we know her, but then all the secrets come out. We never know what's hidden."

"It is crazy." But Rossi didn't know the half of it. As far as Hotch knew, no one else was aware that he and Emily had known each other before she came to work for the bureau. They both seemed to play it off like it was nothing even though they both knew it was so much more.

Deciding to go for, what he dubbed, a less controversial topic, Dave asked, "Have you heard anything from Strauss about Emily yet?"

"Yeah. She gets back next week and we have a meeting on the books." He was grateful for the slight change in conversation. At least they weren't talking about Charlie. It was still on Emily, but it was better.

"What do you think she's going to say?"

"I have no idea. I don't imagine she's going to brush it off like it was nothing."

"Do you think she'll let Emily come back to work?"

"Do you want her to?" He asked abruptly, almost defensively catching his friend off guard.

Dave wasn't sure how to interpret the question or the tone. "You don't want Emily back?"

"Do you think we can move on like nothing happened; like nothing has changed? Do you think we can have the same trust in the unit that we had before?"

"I think so. Or, at least I hope so. She's a big part of our team and the way we work. Most of us are just thankful that she's alive and we get the chance to find out."

"Yeah…" Although, he wasn't sure he wanted to find out.

"So where were you yesterday?" Hotch gave him a look that made it clear he didn't appreciate the line of questioning.

"I had some things to take care of."

"If you ever want to talk about anything… the divorce, Haley, Jack… anything, I'm here."

"I know Dave. Let's get to work." That was an end all statement. There was no room for debate. He wasn't ready to talk, not about what needed to be talked about, and he didn't know if he ever would be.

The remainder of the morning was spent in the solidarity of his office. Dave must've informed the team to hold off on the normal 10 am briefing unless it was urgent because he didn't want to be disturbed unless absolutely necessary. He was sluggish and hung-over and he didn't want to deal with anything. He should've just taken another day off, but that would've rose suspicion and Garcia probably would've tracked his recent locations. Garcia in his business wasn't something he wanted to tempt. The things in his life needed to stay buried until he was ready open them up. He just hoped she didn't already go sniffing into Emily's past and find their connection.

Around noon, there was a knock on his door. He was still worse for wear and he had yet to venture out of his office in attempt to distance himself and keep his current predicament under wraps, but there was no more hiding. He was being a coward anyway. "Come in." He called out.

"Hey Hotch." Morgan started before catching sight of his superior. "Whoa, good weekend? A little too much New Year's partying?" He wished that was the issue.

"You have something for me Morgan?" He decidedly ignored the good humored question. His bad mood was contagious.

"Yeah, we got a case. We're meeting in the conference room."

"I'll be right there." Morgan took one last weary look before leaving to join the rest of the team in the other room.

With one last, long intake of breath, Hotch took a swig from his cup, coffee not alcohol, and went to join the team. They could all tell something was wrong. They just couldn't put their fingers on it, but they could tell something wasn't right. If the messy look wasn't enough, there were plenty of other signs. He was running on a shorter fuse. Garcia's quirkiness wasn't taken with as much ease as normal. He couldn't even listen to Reid's statistics and facts, quickly putting an end to them before they even began. They could all see it. It was hard to miss. They just didn't know what it was.

"Wheels up in thirty." He told the group before making a hasty exit.

They'd be on that case for several days full of ups and downs. There'd be a lot of misdirection and obstacles to overcome. The locals wouldn't make it easier putting up walls of resistance to their unappreciated help. He realized, of everything going on, he'd just be lucky if the unsub didn't take advantage of his distractedness and get the drop on him. The last thing he needed was to be a serial killer's attempted victim.

Meanwhile, as the team was away on their case, Emily had her own demons to deal with. That phone call threw her for a loop. She wasn't sure she was ready, but she had to just do it. She had to find a way to deal with it like she had to deal with everything else.

"Why the hell am I doing this?" Emily questioned. She felt like a small child being sent to the wolf as sacrifice. She had no idea why she agreed to it. She wasn't ready. She really wasn't ready. And the last time she introduced Charlie to a relative, it didn't go over well. Speaking of which, she was ignoring Hotch's existence. Any mention of his name just made the anger swell inside her. Why wouldn't it? It had only been a few days since he shattered any hope of giving her daughter everything she deserved, mainly her father.

Four days passed since things went south with Hotch. Each day was supposed to get easier, but it didn't. Her heart was still just as broken. Emily found herself gravitating towards Charlie more and more. That was natural. They were always close. But in the same way the young girl was clingy with her mother after the hospital, Emily was clingy with her after Hotch. Charlie didn't know any different and Emily wasn't going to fill her in either. She just felt this overwhelming need to coddle her, to be with her every single second she could, and to just be there for her in every way possible. It didn't seem so unreasonable and Charlie wasn't protesting her presence. Emily couldn't handle it if she did. They were coping.

Tuesday after the dreadful Monday was by far the hardest. Emily was still reeling from the previous day's events. There was Hotch and then the phone call… Things just weren't looking up. She half expected Hotch to come back or for the call, at the very least, to be from him. A simple apology was all she wanted then. She wanted him to take it all back. She thought she knew him better. She thought more of him; expected more. What he said and what he did… it just wasn't him. And every minute that went by where he didn't try to change things or rectify his mistakes just broke her a little more. And she didn't think she could be any more broken. She was broken before he added the final crack in her armor.

She did her best to just not dwell on it. There were other, better things to focus on. Like Charlie. The less she thought about it, the faster they'd heal… Or so she thought. In reality, the avoidance just made it worse because she wasn't dealing with it at all and she should've been. And her lack of dealing was manifesting itself in minute little ways. She wasn't being herself either, but, she realized, she hadn't been for some time. And the more she tried to be normal, the less she was.

Early Friday morning, however, was when she really started panicking. The week had been routine. Mornings went off without a hitch. Alarm, breakfast, school, she did nothing all day, and then Charlie would come home… Nights weren't too bad. For the most part, Charlie made life pretty easy. Emily was lucky that way. But Friday was rough. It was D-Day so the day promised to suck before it even began. And to make matters worse, Charlie woke up in the middle of the night complaining of a sore throat and a belly ache. Immediately springing into action, Emily got some children's medicine, a glass of cold water, and lovingly rubbed the tiny stomach until she fell asleep again. Even with, presumably, minor afflictions, Emily worried. So sleeping when her baby was hurting just wasn't an option. Instead, she spent most of the night just watching her little girl, checking for fever and any sign of distress. But when morning rolled around, she seemed fine. Charlie was fine, she, however, not so much.

Still, Emily wanted to keep her home for the day. "It's ok to miss one day. Just the other day you were begging me to stay home."

"But the animals are coming today. We have a fun day. I can't miss it. I can't." She was so adamant, so strong willed, so Hotch like… But so her too… If she didn't love it, she'd hate it.

"Tell me how you're feeling?"

"Better."

"Tummy hurt?"

"Not anymore."

"What about your throat? Is it still bothering you?" Emily watched her carefully as she answered the questions to see if she could spot a lie. Her daughter was like her enough to say she was fine when she wasn't.

"No."

"Charlie…" She berated.

"It's scratchy."

"But you still want to go to school?" Emily asked.

"Please." She was the only kid Emily knew that would beg to go to school.

"I'll take you to the petting zoo if this is just about the animals."

"But Henry won't be there."

"We can invite him and JJ too."

"Can we do that too? I want to see them today at school."

"I'll take your temperature and if you have no fever, you can go."

"Thank you."

"But, if you don't feel well, you tell the teacher and go to the nurse."

"I promise."

"Go get ready." Emily sent Charlie on her way. She knew it was a losing battle. Charlie was just as stubborn as she, and as long as she was healthy enough, why would Emily want to discourage her love for school? "Ok Charlie Bear." Emily said as he daughter returned. "No fever and you get to go to school as long as you keep your promise."

"I promise."

"Ok." Emily took the ear thermometer and brought it to Charlie and, together, they waited for a read out. "99." She said.

"Is that bad?" Charlie questioned.

"You'll be ok. I do want you to stay home though."

"Mom…" Her whiney voice was low and drawn out.

"You didn't let me finish." Charlie gave a slight nod hoping there was still a chance she'd get her way. "If you really want to go…"

"I do." Charlie interrupted.

"If you really want to go, you can."

"Yes!"

"But…" Emily clarified, breaking the excitement. "But you have to take the medicine again and you still have to tell if you don't feel well at school."

"Oh-kay…"

"Get your coat and bag. Will's bringing you with Henry."

"Where's Sarah?"

"I told her I didn't know if I was sending you to school so she didn't have to come this morning. And, Will said he'd take you."

"When can you take me again?"

"Soon; hopefully soon." The sound of a car horn alerted them to the carpool's arrival. "Have a good day, take it easy, and…"

"I know mommy. I love you."

"Love you too."

Emily walked her to the door and watched as she went to the car. She then shared a wave and a silent thank you with Will before they pulled away and left her to her own devices. D-Day… She didn't know how to prepare for it. Just a few short hours later and another conversation years in the making, years late, would be taking place. And she had no idea how it would turn out or even what to expect.

Mentally steeling herself was about all she could do to prepare. Each passing second just filled her with more and more anxiety. There were so many implications and complications and she didn't need more complicated. Their lives were full of it already. And she couldn't take another rejection; not that she expected it. But she didn't expect it from Hotch either and that didn't turn out so hot. She had expectations. She knew what to expect, but she didn't know whether to hold on to them. As of late, her expectations haven't been being met in the least. Why would this time be any different?

The remainder of the morning was spent trying to ready herself further. She showered, which was still difficult. She put on actual makeup for the first time in weeks; not just the quick cover up and a little eye liner so as not to completely scare Charlie with her suffering looks. She styled her hair in a way that wasn't just air drying and a quick brushing. She needed to look presentable, not pathetic like she felt. Because that was what her life was at that moment; pathetic. Sure, she was still healing and the doctor didn't want her to do any physical activity more than walking to and from the bed she was supposed to be stuck in, not that she went to the doctor like she was supposed to, and she didn't really have much to do, but that didn't mean she couldn't do more than wallow and flounder about. She needed to get her act together. She needed to move on from all the Doyle crap, although she couldn't quite yet, and from the Hotch stuff, and just live her life.

If only it were that simple…

Somehow, she managed to calm herself down for the first few hours as she got ready. But the panic was starting to set in again as time was running out. She shouldn't have been so nervous. It was family. So she put it off for a while. It would be ok. Trying to convince herself just wasn't working. It was only making the persistent headaches worse. And as time lapsed and the arrival was approaching, Emily was seconds away from bailing; leaving her own home just to avoid it for another five or so years. She was so close to actually doing it too, but then her phone rang. She was relieved to read the name on the ID.

"Oh thank god! When are you guys coming home?"

"Hello, nice to hear from you too."

"I'm sorry JJ. Hello. How are you? When are you guys coming home?"

"What's going on Em? I tried calling a few times over the week but you didn't answer. All I got were texts saying everything was fine and Will called and told me you asked him to take Charlie to school this morning so I decided to try calling again." Emily knew she was being distant, but she was ignoring everyone for a reason. She needed to gather her own thoughts before she shared feelings or whatever. She still hadn't wrapped her mind around Hotch and she wasn't ready to tell JJ about the failed encounter with baby daddy as the two BAU blondes came to call him.

"I need a buffer." It seemed like an ominous statement, but it didn't seem like the emergency her voice portrayed.

"Like a nail buffer or a floor buffer?" JJ asked confused. Emily wasn't usually so baffled.

"Like a human buffer."

JJ laughed. "I don't think I'm your type."

"JJ, I'm being serious here." She whined.

"I know." She could sense that. "Tell me what's going on."

"I got a phone call."

"And? Who called?" She was waiting for the anvil. It had to be pretty serious for Emily to be acting like that.

_The incessant ringing of her phone pulled her away from everything else. "Hello?" She asked irritably, neglecting to check the ID. She really should've because she was in no mood to deal with the person on the other line._

"_Emily… is that any way to greet your mother?"_

_Sighing, she said, "I'm sorry. Hi mother. How are you?" She tried to talk quietly as not to wake her sleeping child. That would be one hell of a way to drop the news; a distant voice through the phone crying for mommy as she talked to her own mother. She didn't imagine that going over well, although it did have to happen soon. She had been promising Charlie for years that they'd visit the ambassador, but failed trips and last minute work calls always held them back. In a way, it was a good thing. _

"_Where are you? I tried your phone over and over. I've called the hospital several times and the incompetent employees couldn't seem to tell me where you were. I tried your room. I've called every single department. Where have you disappeared to?"_

"_I… I was released a while ago."She spoke timidly. _

"_And when, exactly, were you going to inform your mother? We talked on New Year's. Why didn't you tell me then?"_

"_It just didn't seem to come up mother. But I am home and I apologize for not telling you sooner." She wasn't in the mood for her mother's attitude._

"_How are you feeling?"_

"_I'm doing well. Thank you for asking."_

"_I'll be in DC soon Emily. I'd like to come see you." Oh crap…_

"_You would?"_

"_Yes." Sounds of rustling papers could be heard over the phone. "My plane arrives late Thursday and I have a meeting until noon on Friday, but I'd like to stop by after that." _

"_You just want to come over?"_

"_Well Emily, you are my daughter and you almost died and everyone, including you kept telling me not to come even while you were in a coma; telling me that you'd be fine. I'd like to see that for myself assuming that's ok with you. I'd really like to see my daughter and make sure she's doing as well as she claims to be."_

"_So Friday?" She conceded. _

"_Yes, what time is good?"_

"_It has to be before three."_

"_I'll see you around two if that's good for you."_

"_That's…" Not great... Not going to work… Not enough time… _

"_Good, I'll see you then." How the hell was she going to explain everything? Her mother effectively gave her an hour's face time to tell all about Charlie and she had no idea how to do it. An hour just wasn't enough. How does she sum up years worth of untold truths?_

"Mother's coming over."

"Oh…" Enough said. "When is she coming?"

Looking at her watch for the umpteenth time, Emily replied, "One hour, six minutes, and twenty… five seconds."

"Ok, that's precise and soon."

"Staring at the clock is about the only thing I can do. But in her defense, she did give me a week's notice."

"A week? And you didn't tell me? Emily…"

"Well JJ, I was a little preoccupied. I just figured it would be the perfectly bad ending to a bad week."

"What do you mean bad week? What happened? Are you ok?" She asked concerned and Emily wanted to tell her everything, every last excruciatingly heartbreaking detail, but not over the phone.

"I'm fine. We'll talk about it when you're home. Which is when by the way?"

"We're heading for the jet now."

"Do you want to talk to the ambassador for me?"

"Not a chance. Are you telling her about Charlie?"

"That's the plan. I have about an hour with her to talk before Charlie gets home from school."

"How are you going to tell her?"

"I don't know. I've been pacing nonstop all morning trying to figure it out. I haven't slept at all last night. Maybe I should just cancel."

"No, you shouldn't cancel. You need to do this. I wish I was there with you to help, but you can always call Garcia. She's probably still at the office and I'm sure she'd love to see Charlie again."

"She's seeing her this weekend. I no longer have any say in plans."

"Just make a little more room in her closet and you'll be fine. But back to your mom. You'll be fine there too. Telling her won't be as hard as telling him." He, who had yet to be named. "She should be easy and supportive. She's your mother."

"You met her. Does that sound like her?"

"It won't be that bad."

"Easy for you to say. You're still in Indiana or wherever."

"Speaking of which, we're about to board. Call me tonight?"

"If I'm still alive."

"Emily…"

"JJ…"

"Talk to you soon."

"Bye." The conversation with JJ did nothing but pass a little time. She was still on edge, still lost, and still so against the idea of living through another let down. Nearly dying was enough. Everything Hotch said made it worse. She was estranged from her mother, but that didn't mean she didn't want a better relationship with her or for Charlie to have a good relationship with her. So she was going to try and get that. She was going to repair the damage and make things right. That was the plan, but like most plans, it was easier said than done.

When the doorbell sounded, Emily was a mess. Everything was planned out. In the hour she impatiently waited, she formulated ideas; because that worked out so well for her last time. Walking to the door, however, diminished any confidence she built up. As her trembling hand went to the door knob, she felt like she was going to have a heart attack. All hope was crushed with Hotch, and she knew her mother wasn't the same, but it still worried her. And no number of breaths or any amount of Zen thinking was going to ease the feeling in her stomach. She honestly thought she might barf.

"Mother, you're here." She greeted, still slightly surprised that her mother decided to come.

"We agreed I would be. Two pm sharp."

"It's nice to see you again." It wasn't a lie. She missed her mother.

"You're looking well. How are you feeling?"

"I'm better, thank you."Feeling the wind's chill, Emily directed her mother in. "Come in mom."

"You have a lovely home Emily. It's what I always imagined for you."

"Thank you." Emily guided her into the kitchen pointing to the stools at the island. "Sit."

"I was so happy to hear you were doing better, although, I thought they'd keep you longer."

"Keep me?" There was just something about the way she said it that bothered Emily. Maybe she was just looking for a fight.

"You know what I meant Emily. Not everything has to be an argument."

"Would you like some coffee mother?" She asked in attempt to ease the awkward tension that seemed to follow them.

"That'd be wonderful." She sounded so regal and proper. "I would've treated you to a nice lunch or dinner, but I didn't know if you'd be up for it and you insisted we meet before three." The last part of that statement was meant to be a question. It was a very manipulative political move to get information without asking the wrong questions. She wanted to know why.

"I know. I'm still not ready to venture out quite yet. Soon though; once I get the doctor's ok."

"I'd love a tour of the house if you think you can handle it." Elizabeth said as Emily passed her the coffee.

"Of course. I'd be happy to, later. Let's catch up first." Stumbling into the little girl's bedroom a picture on the wall wasn't the way she wanted her mother to find out about her granddaughter. Luckily, Emily never got around to decorating the entryway fully. So, for the initial part of the conversation, she guided her mother to safe zones. Removing a few frames from the wall before her arrival, there was no longer any evidence of a child; at least in that part of the house. That was why the tour had to wait until after the news broke.

The majority of the time was spent catching up. Emily tried to find any opening to share her news, but every time she tried, her mother would say something that would hit the right nerve and make her forget everything she was about to say. But they were over forty-five minutes into their coffee and they had yet to get to the point. Granted, Elizabeth didn't know there was a point, but talking about her new postings, the job, and Emily's recovery wasn't it. At least they glanced over the uncomfortable topic of what really happened to land Emily on death's door.

"After everything that has happened, maybe it's time you leave the FBI and find a nice normal job. It's not too late for a career in politics. And at least that would give you time to find love and have kids." Finally, her opening. As much as the comment irked her, she ignored it.

"That's actually something I wanted to talk to you about." She started.

"You're leaving the bureau for politics." She looked so excited by the thought, Emily was almost sad to crush her hopes.

"No, absolutely not."

"You found a man?" She gave it another shot still a little hopeful at the prospect.

"No, not a man." Fort of a man…

"A woman? Oh god, are you coming out of the closet to me?" She really opened herself up for that one.

"What? Mom, no…"

"Then what is it? I can't…"

"It's about kids mom, kids." She spit out, demanding her mother's attention.

"You're not pregnant are you? Please tell me you're not." Emily took offense to that. Was she implying Emily would be a bad mother? Because she had her moments, but, otherwise, she felt she was a pretty good mother.

"Would it be so bad if I was?"

"No, no, I want grandchildren, but I want them the right way." She had no idea how deep she was stepping in it.

"The right way?"

"You just told me there's no man in your life, so I can only assume the father wouldn't be there. And wouldn't you rather be married first? Children are a gift to be savored between two people who love each other. And I don't imagine the tress of injury would be good for either of you."

The more Elizabeth spoke, the more Emily realized just why she never told her mother in the first place. No matter how much she loved her mother, and she did, the ambassador could be so judgmental. Surely she had to realize they were living in a new era. More and more women were having and raising babies on their own. Why couldn't she understand that?

She sat there listening to her mother rant long enough. Putting it off would just make things harder. "Mom, there's something I need to tell you."

"What is it dear?"

"I… uh… well, I…"

"You're stuttering; just say what you need to say." She insisted, letting the impatience get the best of her.

"I have…"

"Mommy!" The little girl's voice cut through the tension that was building and brought them to their feet. How could they have not heard the door opening? How could she have not realized the time?

"Mommy?" Elizabeth asked confused.

"I was trying to tell you…" She wanted to get it out as fast as she could, but she just wasn't fast enough.

"Mommy! There you are!" Charlie said as she ran over to her mother, stopping in her tracks when she saw the other woman. Deterring from her original path, Charlie caught a glimpse of the elder's face. Immediately, her confusion turned to a happy grin. "Grandma!" She said, charging toward Elizabeth. Hugging at her legs she excitedly spoke into the pants. "I've waited so long to meet you grandma! You're finally here!"

Elizabeth was, rightfully, confused. There was a little girl she didn't know calling her grandma and hugging her. Her daughter looked like a deer in headlights about to be struck. What was going on? Turning to Emily she simply asked, "Grandma?"

**Sorry it took so long. I got so sick over the weekend so I didn't get the chance to finish this chapter, but it's here now. **

**Anyone else find the season finale bittersweet? I don't know. Will's not my favorite and it was Will heavy. And Emily's gone so that's just messed up. But it was a good episode overall. It was a little misleading though. Will's not technically a member of the BAU so the guide info isn't accurate. But it was a well done episode and at least it left the door open for Emily to visit. Erica Messer said she hopes Paget would do a few guest spots. So that's good for the fans.**

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**


	17. My Mommy's Mommy

Chapter 17: My Mommy's Mommy

Elizabeth was, rightfully, confused. There was a little girl she didn't know calling her grandma and hugging her. Her daughter looked like a deer in headlights about to be struck by speeding vehicle. What was going on? Turning to Emily she simply asked, "Grandma?" Hesitating, she asked, "Emily, what's going on?"

Before answering the question that she was trying to answer before Charlie got there, she moved closer. Ignoring her mother for the time being, she spoke to her daughter who had just released her grandmother from her grasp. "Charlie, why don't you go get changed? Do you have any homework?"

"A little." She answered quietly as her gaze shifted shyly between the women in the room.

"Go get changed and then bring it down here. Ok?"

"But…"

"I know you're excited, but we need to have a little grown up talk. Go, please."

"Ok." But before leaving, she gave both women a hug. First she went to Emily, and then she walked by Elizabeth like she wasn't going to stop, but she backtracked, walked up to her, and once again wrapped her arms around the unsuspecting woman. "I'm happy you're here." She whispered.

Elizabeth didn't know how to respond. This child, whom she never met before, already wormed her way into the icy heart with just a few simple words. Few people ever did that. The only other person to do that was her Emily the first time she held her. Not wanting to disappoint this newfound piece of her heart, Elizabeth returned the hug and said, "Me too." What else was she supposed to say?

Emily was touched by the scene, and, as much as she would've liked to let it play out and witness more of this softer side to her mother, she knew there was some explaining to do. "Change and then homework." Emily reminded her. "Actually, play upstairs for a little while. I'll call you down when it's time to do homework."

"Whatever you say." So obediently, Charlie skedaddled.

Once the girl was out of earshot, Elizabeth, once again, turned to Emily in confusion. "Mommy? Grandma? What's going on Emily?" She repeated her earlier question.

"Sit down mom. We need to talk." Emily began ushering her to the table.

"I don't need to sit. I need you to tell me what's going on." She insisted, a sense of urgency to her voice.

"That was Charlotte."

"Charlie?" She asked, recalling Emily's previous call.

"Yes."

"And…?" It was great to have a name and a tiny bit of information, but she needed more.

Slowly, almost afraid to say the words, Emily told her mother what she needed to know. "And she is my daughter."

"Did you adopt her?" Elizabeth had to ask. That girl was not a baby. And while she looked astonishingly like a young Emily, the thought of her daughter keeping that secret was a little unsettling. So, she asked if the girl was adopted. It would make sense, even if it didn't. Some people just look alike without any relation whatsoever.

"No; no she's all mine." Emily did her best to show a calm demeanor, but she couldn't help but feel the panic inside. Just because it seemed to be going well didn't mean it couldn't change any second. That's how things worked, she realized.

"I don't understand." The facts were there. The words were understood, but it just wasn't meshing. Everything together just didn't make sense in her head.

"Well, when a man and a woman have sex and the sperm fertilizes the egg, it creates a baby. The baby…"

"Don't get smart with me Emily." Elizabeth chided. "That girl is already in school. Obviously she wasn't just born. How old is she?"

"She turned five in November."

"Five?" Again with the five. She knew that would be thrown at her again. And she was beginning to hate that number.

"I know what you're thinking and…"

Elizabeth interrupted. "I don't think you do Emily. Five years? I just… And you… She… I don't know."

"I know this makes no sense and you're confused and I want to explain it if you'll let me. I wanted to tell you for a while now and I didn't want you to find out like you did, but I'm happy you know now, however you found out." She rambled.

"Emily dear, take a breath."

"I'm sorry."

"I know. Start from the beginning. When's her birthday?"

"The 13th."

"Of November?"

"Yes."

"Is this, she, why you all but disappeared? You stopped coming by completely. We talked on the phone but every time we made plans to meet they were cancelled. Holidays turned into greeting cards and phone calls. Not once in all the years did you mention a child.

"I should've, I know." She probably would've too if she didn't immediately revert back to her unsure 15 year old self who was terrified of her mother's reaction or what she might say. That, and there was this pesky little sense of twisted baby daddy loyalty where she felt she needed to tell him before her, and getting a hold of him seemed impossible.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" The hurt look tore Emily apart.

"It's complicated. What's important is that you know now." She tried to reassure both herself and her mother.

Elizabeth wanted to argue. She was actually about to launch a full on attack, to insist Emily explain the complicated, but suddenly, something struck her. "You told her about me?" She had to right? Charlie recognized her.

With a smile Emily responded, "Of course mother. Like I said, I always wanted you to know each other. I just… had a difficult time telling you." That was an understatement.

"That doesn't speak well to my parenting Emily. Am I so terrible that you couldn't come to me and tell me about my own grandchild?" Her heart was yearning for something to make her feel better; to feel less like a failure as a mother.

"It has nothing to do with you and so much to do with me. Like I said, it's complicated and there's no real way to explain it without sounding completely crazy. But we're here now. She knows all about you; your job, where you live, everything I could think of. And I showed her pictures so she would recognize you." Emily was keeping a level head. She was emotionally raw, but the conversation wasn't nearly as bad as she thought it would be. Her mother wasn't anywhere near as angry as she assumed she would be and the whole situation was playing out marginally better than anticipated; better than the last one she tried to have.

"Do you have pictures that I can see?" She may have seen the real thing in a tiny glimpse, but that recent memory was already hazy. She needed to see it from the beginning to make sense of it all.

Nodding with a smile, Emily responded, "Yes, I'll go get her book."

For an hour, all they did was go through the book. Emily would've preferred that Charlie was out of the house while they had their little reunion. She didn't want her daughter to feel neglected or pushed aside because Emily sent her to another room to do homework just to get some alone time with her mother. But she knew her daughter, and she knew Charlie was fairly good at occupying herself. Maybe it was an inherited trait. She had to do a lot of self occupying when she was a child. And she felt guilty for making her daughter do the same, but at that moment, she just needed to be with her own mother to explain. It didn't help the guilt though. She loved her job and she loved her daughter… But she needed to focus. Her mother; that's what she needed to be dealing with.

Reminiscing with her mother was different than it was with Hotch. The way she shared the memories was different. There was a shift in the point of view. What she saw just wasn't the same. In one photo where she described to Hotch the intimate details of their day at the beach and what they had done, she shared with her mother how she recanted to her daughter her first time at the beach with the ambassador while traveling in Romania. It was two sides to the same coin, and both were equally good. It amazed her that one memory could hold so many different and meaningful stories.

"I missed all of this you know…"

"I know mom. I wish I made it to that first Christmas after she was born or told you that I was staying in France during my pregnancy so you could've visited during your stay there or asked you to stay with us when you came to me and the team for help. But I didn't…"

"You were in France?"

Laughing at that one piece of information her mother picked up on, Emily said, "Yes, I stayed in grandfather's cabin for a couple of months during my pregnancy."

"All by yourself?" Emily was relieved her mother had yet to ask about Charlie's father, but she knew it was only a matter of time before it came. So she was going to enjoy the light, goodhearted, bonding moment before it was ruined. She'd answer the curious questions as they came; one at a time.

"I had friends stop by when they were in the area. It was nice to get away. I needed to be away."

"You could've come to me. I know our relationship is strained and we've never been close, but even when I disagree with your decisions, I try to support you." Emily tried not to read too much into that and just accepted it as the start of a peace offering. But really, what was there to disagree about?

"I know. But I didn't feel that I could. I just wasn't in a place to go there with you."

"I don't understand."

Evading the awkward territory they seemed to be heading into, Emily tried to change the subject back to something lighter. "I have a picture I think you should see. Wait here." Emily disappeared from the room, returning shortly after with a frame in hand. "You never officially met her, but you did see her before." Emily explained as she passed her mother the photo.

Elizabeth stared at the picture with curiosity. "When was this?"

"You were in DC for a UN conference a few years ago. I took her with me. She wasn't old enough to understand what we were doing and I had the nanny take her while I listened to your speech, but afterward, I had Sarah bring her back in. Charlie was still in her hugging phase and I guess she recognized you, so when we were close enough, she ran up to you and hugged your leg. Luckily, I carried a camera with me everywhere and I got a picture. It was sweet really. But you should've seen your face at first. I thought you were going to scream, 'Get this child off of me!'"

"I remember that." She said as she ghosted a hand over the picture of her, unknowingly, with her granddaughter. "A woman ran over shortly after and apologized. I just assumed that was her mother."

"Sarah."

"You could've come to me then you know." There was a sadness in her eyes that Emily understood. She had seen it before. There was disappointment there too, and that she knew all too well.

"I know, but I was too busy laughing. You didn't know what to do. It was amusing." She used the humor to relieve the significance of what they were feeling. All she wanted was for one person that had significant blood ties to Charlie to just accept the little girl without hesitation. If anyone ever asked if she thought the acceptance would come from her mother, she would've said no. Her first guess would've been Hotch, but she was banking on her mother then. She had to because she was the only immediate family she had, and the only hope she had left. At least there was the rest of the team. They loved Charlie like family.

"Funny Emily." She didn't like her mother's tone.

"She keeps that picture by her bed."

"She does?" The thought brought a smile to the ambassador's face.

"Yeah. She keeps the ones of people she finds important next to her bed. That way, they're always there."

"I'm happy she considers me one of those people."

"Look mom. I'm sorry for not telling you sooner, but I'd like it if you stayed for dinner and got to know her a little." It came out as a hopeful question. She wanted to repair the damage that was their mother daughter relationship and give her the opportunity to have a better relationship with Charlie than they ever had with each other.

"I'd like that too." She agreed.

"Good. Do you want to officially meet your granddaughter?"

"More than anything. Please."

Emily called to her daughter who was peacefully playing in the living room; homework done and the weekend approaching. But she knew the girl was excited to actually spend time with a woman she had only heard about through stories and a brief encounter at a stage in her life where memories weren't permanent. She didn't want to keep the two from each other any longer.

"So Charlie, Grandma here is going to stay for dinner." Elizabeth loved the way Emily called her grandma. Although it made her feel old, it felt great.

"She is?" She asked eagerly.

"Why don't we make her our specialty?"

"Do you think she'd like it?"

"Why don't you ask her?" She spoke while pointing Charlie in her mother's direction.

Charlie turned to the oldest Prentiss with wide, happy eyes. "Grandma, do you like pasta and garlic bread? We make it ourselves. The sauce too! We put it in jars and save it."

"That sounds delicious Charlie." In all honesty, she didn't care what would be served; it could've been an undignified food like macaroni and cheese or chicken fingers and she would've gladly accepted. She was just happy to be a part of it. There were still some questions that needed to be asked, and she was going to ask them before leaving, but she wanted to get to know her cherubic descendant first. "Do you like to cook?"

"Mommy says I'm not old enough to do it on my own, but we always have fun doing it together. Sometimes we make pizza together," her voice lowered an octave and became sad, "but we haven't done it in a long time because mommy got really hurt."

"She did get hurt, but she's ok now. Right?"

"Yup. She's home now and we're normal again and we can be happy." Charlie explained with an innocent smile on her face. Elizabeth, however, took the comment a little less happily. She would've been there if she knew about her granddaughter. She should've been there anyway. Emily may not have wanted her there, even though she was all set to fly in, but none of that would've mattered if she knew everything. She was still in the dark about all that happened, but that didn't matter either. What caused the mess wasn't as important as the end result.

"I'm happy she's home too." She looked to her daughter's eyes as she said that. Elizabeth wanted Emily to see that she meant it. It was a lot to wrap her head around everything and she wasn't completely thrilled with the way things happened, but she would do her best to just forget the hurt she was feeling because she didn't want to be shut out. And Emily knew how to shut people out.

"How about that tour now mom?" Emily asked as she guided Charlie toward her, hoping her mother would follow.

And she did. "After you." Elizabeth said.

Charlie worked as the perfect icebreaker the entire evening. She was the ideal buffer all along. All three of them, Charlie and Elizabeth more than the still weakened Emily, ventured through the house. Charlie was so keyed up to show off her room that she took her grandma's hand and practically dragged her up the stairs. Before they could move on to any other room, Charlie had to show every single hot ticket item she had starting with the stuffed animal on her bed.

The ambassador recognized it right away and shared a knowing look with Emily. Her daughter's daughter was, no doubt, as in love with the worn monkey as Emily was. And given its still only gently used condition, she had no uncertainty that she was just as careful with the old thing as her mother was. She was surprised it faired so well. Emily put it through the ringer a few times even though she didn't mean to. But to see it live on with another generation was heartwarming. The fact that there was another generation just made her happy. Although it didn't happen the way she would've hoped, she got the grandchild she always wanted. She couldn't ask for any more than that. "Does it still have the same name?"

"Still Jazz." Emily informed her.

"I still don't know why you named it that. It came with a name."

"Well," Emily began indignantly, "I didn't like the name Missy."

"I don't think it was Missy."

"Well whatever it was, I didn't like it." They continued on like that until the subject was wrung out, dead and buried.

After going through absolutely everything and exhausting all the objects she could think to show in her room, Charlie took them through the rest of that floor starting with the guest rooms. Once finished with those, Charlie headed them towards Emily's room. Stopping at the door, she turned to her mother and asked, "It's ok if we go in right?"

"Yeah, go ahead." She answered as she opened the door for them. It wasn't normally closed unless they were both in there or she had a reason.

Elizabeth was careful to mind the rooms as she looked through them. She didn't want to overstep and have Emily feel her space was being invaded, but she did want to take it all in. She wanted to see all the pictures and she wanted to dive deeper into their lives in whatever way she could. Elizabeth loved it. It was like seeing into a world she was never allowed to be a part of. It was like she was finally gaining access into the secret, very exclusive, clubhouse that was Emily Prentiss.

Emily watched as her mother took stock of her room. She could feel that the experience was different than it was with Hotch. She was open to more and really just wanting to be there. He was always looking for the nearest exit; one step out the door before the conversation even began. There was no anger or resentment that she could see. Elizabeth was lighter and more open to the change. Of all the people to react so well, Emily honestly didn't think it would be her mother, but she was so thankful that it was. She just hoped the lack of animosity remained. When together, they weren't known for their easygoing, free spirited chats.

Emily's thoughts were broken when her mother asked, "When was this one taken?" She was pointing to a photo of Emily and Charlie with Clyde. She remembered that day so clearly; like it was yesterday. They were at a park playing on the playground. Clyde tried to make regular visits, but that was one of his impromptu trips with no warning at all. Those were usually the best; no planning, just spontaneity.

A woman saw the three of them together. Emily was trying to get a good picture of the little girl when she approached. The woman listened to the two adults' playful banter and just had to say something. "Such a lovely family you have." She told them, an innocent elderly smile on her face.

"Thank you." Emily simply responded to the gray haired woman.

Turning to Clyde who was going down the slide with Charlie, she said, "You must be a wonderful father. She seems to adore you. Just look at her." To prove her point, she pointed to the smiley toddler that both adults doted upon.

Neither one corrected her assumption, they just said thank you to her. It didn't make either uncomfortable. Clyde may not have been her actual father, but between him and Mike, Charlie was given two amazing male role models. They did everything with her a dad would do and, the best part was, Emily never asked them to do anything. Clyde just naturally filled the shoes. He was the only constant male. Mike did what he could and was really there in the beginning before all the travelling started, but Clyde was there… always, whenever.

They had a good day that day. The woman offered to take their picture and Emily gratefully accepted and handed the woman her camera as she joined her two companions on the swings. Charlie was kicking her little feet in the child safety swing as Clyde and Emily gently pushed behind her. Later, just after they finished their picnic lunch, as they were just finishing cleaning up, the sky seemed to open up and let loose. In a matter of seconds, they were drenched. Emily was doing her best to shield Charlie from the downpour as Clyde finished getting everything so they could run to the car, but they all seemed to love the rain.

Charlie wriggled from Emily's arms, laughing as she began running and spinning around. Not seeing any harm in a little water on a warm day, Emily joined her, showing her how to catch the rain drops in her mouth. Clyde, finding it so precious, just covered their stuff with the blanket and joined the fun. He began chasing the Prentiss girls and they all just enjoyed what nature gave them. It was a side of Clyde people rarely got to see, but Emily and Charlie always got that man; the _family _man. They loved that man.

"She was two there. It was a day in mid June. It was hot out, so we went to the park." Emily watched her eye the photo, more specifically Clyde. She had never met him before, so she wouldn't have known who he was, but Emily could see what she was thinking. The wheels were turning. Like that lady in the park, Elizabeth was assuming Clyde was Charlie's dad; she almost wished he was. And Emily wasn't going to say anything otherwise until the ambassador came out and asked.

Wrapping up that little story, they moved on to the living room and office and basement and the backyard. They went through every room in that house and Emily was exhausted. That was more movement than her body endured in over a month and she'd pay for it in the morning, but she wouldn't regret it. She had put a smile on her little's girl's face and that made up for the pain. And the equally pleasing grin she got from her mother made it even better. At that moment, there wasn't much more she could ask for.

As the tour concluded, Elizabeth was feeling everything. While she tried not to show it, there was so much going on in her head. She was hurt that her daughter failed to mention such a big piece of her life, but then she questioned herself. Obviously there was no man in her life, Emily said so herself, and after what she had, so obliviously and so ignorantly, pointed out earlier; she preferred Emily have been married and did it the right way. But did the way matter if they got such a beautiful blessing out of whatever relationship she was in? Was she really that judgmental? She was, and that was why Emily didn't tell her. So, as much as she hated it, a part of her understood why she was kept in the dark. She was upset that she missed out, but it was partly her fault, so she had to just let it go and pray Emily would let her further into their lives. She wanted nothing more.

Whatever they were feeling, each feeling something different, it didn't matter. They were there all together and that was what counted. And, it was time for dinner. Sensing Emily's overexertion, Elizabeth offered to cook with Charlie; with Emily's much needed supervision of course. "Are you sure?"

"Yes Emily. I'm perfectly capable of cooking a meal with my granddaughter." It felt so weird saying that out loud. _Granddaughter… Granddaughter, granddaughter, granddaughter…_She loved it though.

"I know you are, but you're our guest."

"Think of this as long overdue. When was the last time I cooked for you?" She asked. She just wanted to be the mother Emily deserved; just this once. "And it will give me some time to get to know her better. Just the two of us." There was no arguing that.

Emily wanted that too. "Ok." She conceded. "If you're sure."

They all went to work on their food. Charlie wanted Emily to be a part of their time too, so she did participate in a more passive role; just barely getting her hands dirty. Normally, that would bother her, but she was thankful for the rest and willing to give them the time together that they lacked over the years. So even though the lack of control would usually get to her, there wasn't much for her to do anyway. "Dinner's ready!" Charlie yelled as she ran to the table. Emily smiled at her excitement and helped her mother carry the dishes into the dining room.

"She's perfect." Elizabeth whispered as they set the food down on the table.

"Thank you."

As they dug into their meals, everybody sang their praises to Charlie. She loved to cook and Emily didn't want to discourage that. She would encourage, almost, any of Charlie's hobby choices in any way she could. But cooking she could definitely get behind. But that was all beside the point. Emily was actually enjoying herself as she took a backseat in the conversation. It was interesting to see Charlie interact with the ambassador and the ambassador with her. They talked like they knew each other all along and, in some respects, Charlie had. But the smile on her mother's face was so genuine and real, she wasn't sure she had ever seen it before. And if she did, it was far too long ago to really remember.

By the time dinner was over, it was starting to get late and Charlie had yet to stop talking. They moved from subject to subject and if there was anything Elizabeth wanted to know before, she probably knew it after that. Charlie wasn't normally as talkative, but it was a meeting Emily had been building up to for some time, so it was understandable. There was time to catch up on. And somehow, the conversation came to the topic of her extra special necklace. When Charlie tried to explain the necklace like Emily had tried to explain it when giving it to her, the emotions were clear on Elizabeth's face. Emily was moved seeing so much emoted from the stony woman. It was a true feat and a rare occurrence.

"I wish your mother had something special like that growing up."

"She did. We have the same necklace. She told me the story."

"But it wasn't from me."

"Were you gone a lot?" Elizabeth was a little surprised that Emily hadn't filled the girl's head with the horror stories of growing up Prentiss. But then, she thought, why would she? She was giving them a chance.

"Unfortunately, I was." She answered honestly, choosing not to elaborate further.

"What about her daddy? Where was he?"

"He had to travel a lot too." Neither adult wanted to move forward with that sensitive subject; not the travel, the Mr. Prentiss… Quickly, they averted that topic.

The later it got, the quieter Charlie became. She wasn't used to so much excitement, so she was drained. As was Emily… But, the girl fell asleep early and gave the others time for some adult talk. Emily wasn't even upset when Charlie woke up and asked if Grandma would read her a story and give mommy a break. It was quite sweet actually.

And when the ambassador returned, the child tucked in and lost in dream world, Emily said, "You're good with her. She likes you."

"Well, she's easy love and easier to get along with."

"That's very true."

They entered into a sense of tranquility. Their minds were full and there was so much that needed to be said, but they were busy letting the day absorb; questioning whether it really happened. But the silence became too much for Elizabeth. There were some things she needed to get off her chest. "I would've been there for you. I would have supported you however you would've allowed me."

Solemnly, looking away from her mother, Emily replied. "I wish I believed that, but I don't think you would have."

"Is that why you didn't tell me? Or why you waited so long to introduce us?"

"I just wanted to enjoy the gift I've been given. I didn't want you to ruin it. For once, I just wanted to be happy. I wanted my happiness to matter." And there was enough complicated and dysfunctional whatever at the time. She didn't need any disapproval from her mother too.

"I'm sure I never made it seem like a priority, but your happiness was, is, important to me, and I'm sorry if I made you feel any different. While, I admit, I would've felt a little uncomfortable with the situation at first, I would've embraced her just like I'm doing now and plan to keep doing." Emily said nothing in reply like she was waiting for more. There had to be something bad; there always was. As cynical as it was, it seemed to be true. But she was just met with an equally mute voice until she brought him up. "He would've loved her."

The comment came out of nowhere. Did she know something? How'd she know? Was she even talking about Hotch? "Who?"

"Your father. He would've loved her. I wish he was here to see this; to see what you've become and the life you made for yourself."

"Me too. 'Not too many and not too soon, but I want them.' That's what he used to say." She responded. Shifting closer, Emily laid a hand over her mother's. "But at least I have you." It was meant to be solidifying; a concrete fact, but it was a question she wasn't sure the answer to.

"You have me."

"Do I?"

"As long as you'll have me, I'll be there." For maybe the first time in her adult life, she felt her mother's love. Emily didn't know if it was simply her trying to be civil to be allowed into Charlie's life or if it was just her being the supportive mother Emily always wanted, but, either way, she'd take it.

After some long awaited mother and daughter repartee, they were slowly delving into deeper topics once again. They got through the initial, although surprisingly mild, confrontation. Emily gave her the watered down version of why she didn't tell her own mother about a granddaughter she didn't know how bad she wanted. And Elizabeth gave an apology Emily never thought she'd hear. If Emily wasn't so afraid of the inevitable, she would've rejoiced in the complete dreaminess of the night. Everything was going so extremely well that she didn't think it was actually happening. But Elizabeth would ask and she didn't know how to answer and still be honest. Did she want to be so forthcoming with her mother? Probably not, but she'd have to think of an answer quick.

"That man, is he…?" Elizabeth left the question open ended hoping not to be forced into actually asking the uncomfortable question. But Emily would have it no other way. She should've realized that.

"What man?" She asked.

"That man; that blonde man in the picture of you and Charlie… Is he…"

"Is he what?" She had never seen her mother fumble with words and so ungraceful. That wasn't the politician's façade she knew. Cruelly, she was enjoying the show. "What I'm trying to ask is… Is he her, her father?" And there it was…

"His name is Clyde mom." She began hesitantly. Telling her no just meant they were one step closer to the real man. "And no… Clyde is not her father, but he is a good friend, and he has been there for her like a father."

"What about that other guy?"

"Which guy mother? You're going to have to be a little more specific. There are many men in my life." Yes, she basically called herself a whore there, but there were a lot of men in her life; more men than women…

"The one in the picture?"

"Clyde?"

"No, you just said it wasn't him. The brunette with the blue eyes. There was a picture of the three of you on a boat?"

"Mike?" She asked laughingly.

"Why is that so funny Emily?"

"You met him before. We went to school together."

"So you've known each other for a while. That's good. He must see her all the time then."

"He sees us when he can, but he sails around the world to study marine biology."

"That's…" Not at all a career she'd pick for her granddaughter's father, but she was trying to be supportive. She had to remind herself of that.

"Don't force it mother. He's not her father either so you don't have to worry. He is an amazing man and a great friend, but that's all we ever were."

"Then who is it Emily?" Her patience was wearing thin and she demanded an answer. "Why won't you just tell me? Do you find this little guessing game amusing?"

"I do actually, but I would've answered if you just asked."

"Fine, I'm asking. Who is her father?"

Sucking in a long breath and exhaling, she answered, "I'm not going to give you a name."

"Em-"

"But I will tell you this… Despite his shortcomings, he is a good man. I had no way of getting in touch with him when I first found out I was pregnant and I didn't see him again until after she was born. Even then, I neglected to tell him."

"And now?" Elizabeth wasn't thrilled with that revelation, but she said she was being supportive. She didn't have to agree with her daughter's decisions to support her.

"And now he knows. He has met her, interacted with her, but she doesn't know who he is. Right now, he's not ready to be involved in her life in that way. That's his choice and I'm not going to force him to do otherwise."

"Emily…" It was that very tone of voice that made Emily question whether or not to tell a version of the truth or just outright lie. The lie would've made life easier. She could've said she never told Hotch about their daughter. She could've said Charlie's unnamed father had passed away. There were many options, but ultimately, she decided on the very relaxed version of the truth. Lying just would've made life harder in the long run and if her mother was trying to listen and support, surely she could be honest. And, she still felt the need to paint Hotch in a better light. She didn't want him to be the man he made himself that day. A part of her still believed he'd change his mind.

"I know mom. You've been telling me since I was a teenager. I have the worst taste in men. I see that now."

"What happened when you told him?"

"You know mom, I don't really want to talk about it. Maybe someday I will, but that day is not today."

"What about her? Doesn't she want her dad?"

"She hasn't yet, but the moment she does, I'll figure it out." She tried to sound confident when she wasn't. "But that's enough about this." Getting away from that subject was priority number one. It went well, but she didn't want to test the waters anymore. Why create waves in the calm they had established?

For some time, they spoke about everything that needed to be talked about. The topic of Emily's _on the job_ incident was thoroughly discussed. Leaving out the more intimate details and only giving her mother the gist of it, the ambassador was well briefed on Doyle. But it was getting late, and both of them were tired. Although they didn't want one of the best encounters they had with each other in some time to end, they needed to part.

"Listen dear," Elizabeth started as she looked at the ticking time, "I have to go. I have an early flight in the morning."

"Oh…" She was a little sad to hear that. It was unusual, but she didn't want her mother to go this time; not just for Charlie, but herself too. "Well, ok… I wish Charlie was awake to say goodbye. I didn't know the trip was so short. How long will you be gone?"

"I don't know. I was supposed to be here longer, but I received the orders for my new posting last night. It looks short term though."

"I wish you weren't leaving so soon." She said it, but she couldn't believe it; she actually meant it. She never thought she'd see the day.

"Me too, but even with my absence, I hope you'll still let me be a part of her life… and yours."

Answering without hesitation, she said, "I plan on it." Hearing the insecurity in her mother's tone was slightly comforting. It made her realize that her mother was human after all.

"Hopefully I'll be in between assignments soon and I'll be in town more often."

"That'd be great."

Nervously, the ambassador spoke again. "Maybe, when you go back to work you'll consider allowing her to come stay with me while you're called away on a case? Or, you both can just drop by and visit whenever. The big house gets a little lonely and I could use the company every now and then."

"We'll have to discuss your offer a little more, but I'll definitely consider it. But as for the visits, I wouldn't have it any other way. We'll be sure to come by when you're in town."

"Will you keep me updated? Keep me informed of any milestones or major events in either of your lives?"

"I promise."

"Thank you Emily."

"I want this to be our second chance. I want things to be better for us so that you can be a major part of her life. She wants to know you and I want you to know her."

"I want that too. All of it…"

"Good."

"I don't want to leave now that I know."

"I know." Emily said hugging her mother. "But you have to. And I'll send you some pictures if you want."

"That would be lovely." There was an awkward moment as they stood by the door both unsure how to say a goodbye. "I do love you, and I'm happy you're giving me this chance. We've never been close, but maybe that can change now."

"I love you too mom. Have a safe trip and call me when you get settled wherever you are."

"I'm going back to France."

"If you're still in France over the summer, maybe we can come visit."

"That would be amazing. Goodbye Emily."

"Goodbye mother." As a kid, she became accustomed to the goodbyes, and she assumed Charlie had too, which was unfortunate, but this one felt different. Everything about the visit was different, but in a good way. It confused her, but it was a good confusion. The whole thing went better than she could've asked.

All in all, the night was a success making the family a little more complete and that much more together. Although it was just one night, each woman could sense that their relationship was changing; growing. The Prentiss women had enjoyed their time together. Things weren't perfect. They weren't fixed. But they were getting there. And that was the start of something they all craved, but never really knew they were missing. What was lost had been found and they were going to make it stay. It wouldn't escape them again.

The day, however good it turned out to be, was still draining, and Emily was ready for a good solid eight hours. Slowly creeping up the stairs, Emily tried not to make too much noise, but her body felt heavy as it was both strained and riddled with emotion. She must've been louder than she thought because as she came out of her bathroom, teeth brushed and in her nightgown, Charlie was sitting there waiting for her.

As they were settling into bed, Emily noticed something off with her room. There was something bothering her about it all week, but she tried to pay it no mind. There were more important things to worry about than her room not being perfect. But as they were cuddling up in the duvet and she surveyed the room, she figured out what it was. Henry's birthday picture was missing. It had been there before… Before when? Had it been there the previous night? The night before? No, she hadn't seen it since… Since Hotch was there. Did he take it? Why would he when he showed no interest in their daughter? It just didn't make sense.

Was there hope after all?

Was that proof that Hotch's mind wasn't completely made up?

Was it a small baby step in the right direction or was she just reading way too much into it?

She didn't want to get her hopes up, but there had to be some reason he'd take it. It couldn't just be because jack was in it too. Why take it if he didn't care? Why take it at all? It was a question that would haunt her until she figured it out, but she really needed sleep. Between replaying her conversation with Hotch, the pain she was still experiencing, and the nightmares she refused to acknowledge, she really hadn't gotten near enough shuteye. She was trying her best not to use the sleeping pills she was prescribed, but she needed to give in. It was a matter of sanity and she needed to risk it.

Popping the pills, and sipping a cool glass of water, Emily slipped back into bed allowing her thoughts to flounder. She was thinking of everything and anything; something she had made an annoying habit of. Finally she drifted off.

The next thing she knew, Doyle was there whispering in her ear. Tugging at her hands, she realized she was restrained. She fought it, trying to release herself as she looked around. Where was she? Was she back at the warehouse? It didn't look the same. That was because it wasn't the same. They were in her house; in her unfinished basement.

"Ian? What are you doing here? What do you want? You're supposed to be dead."

"Dead my love? Why would I be dead?" His voice was cold.

"They shot you, I know they did. They told me they did." Her frantic ramble got her nowhere.

"They lie." He whispered into her ear as his hand delicately ran over her bare arm. "Do I look dead to you?"

"What do you want?" She asked angrily, trying desperately to show she was brave even when she didn't feel it. She knew how the fight would end.

"We talked about this love." He mocked. "I want you and that little girl of yours."

"But she's not your daughter Ian. I told you that."

"I know she's not. That changes nothing."

"Yes it does…" Her voice was pleading with him as she tried to keep it from cracking. "Why else would you want her?"

"Because of you. Everything I've done, I've done because of you." His hands were all over her body; touching her where she didn't want to be touched. "All because of you love."

"She hasn't done anything wrong. Don't hurt her. She is innocent Ian. She never did anything to you."

"No, but you have."

As if on cue, the sound of a door being ripped open and the cries of a scared child alerted her to a change. "My partner here thinks you don't deserve her."

"Partner? Charlie!" She yelled for her daughter, praying that the girl she had yet to see was ok.

"Mommy! Help me mommy!"

"Charlie, baby… Just stay calm. Mommy's going to make everything better. I promise; you're going to be ok."

"You shouldn't lie to her like that. But that is what you're good at isn't it? Lying. You seem to do that a lot." He held her head in place and forced her to watch a masked figure carry a bound Charlie away. Her little girl was fighting, doing everything she could to wiggle and worm her way out. But it was no use and all Emily could do was watch the struggle as the tears she never wanted to show her captor flew freely from her eyes.

"Why are you doing this? She's just a kid. She hasn't done anything to you."

"You keep saying that, but her existing is bad enough Emily. She was supposed to be mine. You agreed to be my wife. We talked about raising a family together. And you go and have her with some other man."

Her heart was racing. She didn't care what happened to her, she just wanted Charlie to leave untouched. "Please don't hurt her. Do whatever you want to me. Just please, please don't hurt her. Let her go." Charlie's pleas could still be heard around them, but she did her best to just hear enough to know that she wasn't being hurt and blocking out the rest so she could find a way out.

"Anything I want huh?"

"Whatever you want; just let her go." He leaned into her, his hot breath misting against her cold cheek.

"And if I wanted you?" He asked.

"Kill me. Do whatever you want to me. Just let her go." She knew what she was saying, what she was giving him permission to do, and it was clear what he wanted, but she had to do it. If she was going to die anyway, it didn't really matter what he did to her. It did, however, matter what happened and what he did with Charlie.

"Charlie?" She called out, hoping her daughter was still able to answer. "Where are you taking her?"

"Don't worry. She's safe with him there."

"Him?" She didn't know him. "Him who? Who is she with?"

"That's not important right now."

"Yes it is. Who is she with? What is he doing with her?" There was a panic. Her daughter was undoubtedly scared in the hands of some masked man who was capable of doing anything to her.

"They're just getting to know each other a little better." She didn't like the sound of that. "Relax. You need to stay calm so you can prove to me you'll do anything." Obviously, the hitting and abuse weren't enough for him. And when he kissed her, she honestly thought she was going to throw up right then and there. Each touch was just more revolting than the last.

"Please Ian. Just let her go. Drop her off somewhere safe. Give her a phone call. Do something and I promise I will do whatever you want." The words were forced, she didn't want to do anything, but she'd say whatever.

"Mommy! Mommy!" She kept hearing her daughter's crying voice and it wasn't making the situation any easier.

"Shut her up!" Ian yelled. "You wanted her. I got her for you. Now keep her quiet." She didn't like the sound of that.

"Who is he? Why does he want her?" She thought it was about her, and for Ian, that was true. But that other man, whoever he was, wanted her baby. Why?

Laughing maniacally, he called out for the other man. "Bring her here."

Following instructions, the man roughly dragged the crying and newly gagged girl towards her mother. "Stop crying." He kept telling her, but it was no use.

"What's going on Ian? Please don't hurt her." She sounded weak, but she didn't care. She was weak where her daughter's safety was concerned.

Still with a hint of evil happiness to his demeanor, Doyle said, "You'll see love."

"Who are you?" Emily demanded he tell her. "You're nothing but a coward behind a mask. At least have the balls to show me who you are." Tears were pouring down her face. She could see the gun strapped to his ankle and the other at his waist.

The first audible response she got from the man was a laugh similar to Doyle's. But the laugh seemed so familiar. If it wasn't so maniacal, she would've known who it was. "I'm a coward? At least I fight back. Look at you all bruised and bloody. You couldn't even protect her. And you want to know who I am?"

"Yes?"

Sadistically, as a last means to torture his captive, Doyle added, "Go ahead, show her. Let it be the last thing she sees before they die." With that, Doyle held a gun to Emily's temple, digging into her skin.

The masked man smiled agreeing to the plan. "You kept her from me. Now I'll keep you from her." Using one hand to grab the gun from its holster, he used the other to remove the mask. Emily immediately gasped. He wouldn't hurt her. He wouldn't… "Say bye to her Emily. And you say bye to mommy." He angrily ripped the gag from the little girl's mouth effectively making her cry out.

"Mommy…" She hiccupped. "Don't let them hurt me. Please don't leave me again."

"Ignoring the guns pointed at her and her daughter, Emily did her best to comfort Charlie. "Look at me baby." No response. "Look at me Charlie. You're going to be ok. Remember that I love you. You're going to be ok."

"But mommy…"

"Shut up!" The brunette male yelled as he held the gun to the girl's head.

"Why are you doing this? She's your daughter!" All she heard was the sound of a gun cocking and a shot being fired…

Meanwhile, as Emily was in dreamland, Charlie was wide awake. It was after 8:30 and Emily never slept that late and usually she was the one waking Charlie up. But not that day. And she kept moving and mumbling. Charlie didn't know what to do. So she tried gently shaking Emily but never got a response. "Mommy? Mommy?" She tried and still nothing. "Mommy, please wake up."

She was getting nervous. Last time mommy slept like that it took her forever to wake up and she was still tired all the time. She couldn't do that again. "Mmmm…" Hearing the murmur, Charlie took it as a good sign and just went to watch the Saturday morning cartoons. She heard the doorbell shortly after and got jumpy. She wasn't supposed to answer the door without her mother there with her. But she remembered what Emily told her last time. "Who is it?" She asked as she stood behind the protection of the locked door.

"Hey cutie. It's Derek and Penelope. Can we come in?"

"Mommy says I'm not supposed to open the door without her even if I know who's on the other side."

"Where is your mama?"

"She's still sleeping."

"Still?" Morgan whispered to Garcia. "That's not like her."

"Mini E?" Garcia asked, "Do you think you could let us in. We'll make sure your mom isn't mad. She'd want us to come in. I brought breakfast and I can help you get ready for our day together."

Excitedly, Charlie pulled the door open. "You'll help me get ready?"

"Sure thing Jujube."

"Jujube?" Morgan questioned.

"Well I call Em Gumdrop and since she's Mini E, she's also Jujube. They're like mini gumdrops… Kind of… A little."

"Whatever you say Baby Girl." Bending down toward the girl, he scooped her up into his arms and began tickling her. "Morning Princess."

"Morning Derek."

"Your mom in her room?"

"Yup, she wouldn't wake up. She just kept making noises so I came down here." The two adults shared a look.

"I'm going to go check on her and get her lazy bones out of bed. You stay here with Penelope and start your breakfast." He put her down on the ground. "You didn't eat did you?" She shook her head. "Good. Penelope here got you your favorite."

"French toast?"

"Of course Mini E! Come on." Penelope took Charlie's hand and escorted her to the table to eat their breakfasts while Morgan rushed toward Emily. He could hear the faint sounds of their talking as he made his way upstairs. Their voices were the only thing keeping him calm when he was worried about Emily.

He walked into the room hesitantly. Drawn to her face, he could see the frown the marred it. She was almost whimpering and, as he moved closer, he could see her face was wet. Was that sweat? No, she was crying. "Emily." He gently tried to coax her awake. He needed to know she was ok because she sure didn't look it. "Emily, wake up." He tried again, but for a solid minute, she did nothing but stir, the same pain filled grimace still on her face.

Panting for air, heart racing, she pounced into an upright position in her bed so fast she was sure she had whiplash. Immediately, she was greeted with Morgan's worried face. What was he doing there? Was it another dream? That was definitely a new one for her; both her dreams were. But seeing Morgan there wasn't a dream. And neither was the fact that Charlie wasn't there at all. Was it another nightmare? Or was it all true? It couldn't be true.

"Charlie?" She asked panicked. "Where's Charlie?" Quickly, she wiped the liquid from her eyes.

"Princess, it's after nine. She's downstairs with Baby Girl."

"Garcia's here? What are you doing here? Where's Charlie?"

"Em, are you alright?"

"I'm fine. What time did you say it was?" She wasn't going to tell him about her dream. Chances were she wouldn't tell anyone.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing… I just… Garcia's here? Charlie's okay?"

"Yeah, they're both downstairs. We brought breakfast, so they're eating."

"Alright…" She was a little out of it, slightly disoriented.

"What were you dreaming about Prentiss?"

"What?"

"That was either the kinkiest wet dream or a nightmare. Which was it?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about. I don't remember any dream." She tried to play coy, but Morgan knew better.

"Come on Princess, The mini Princess is waiting for you." Holding out a hand that Emily, slightly unwillingly, took, he helped her out of bed.

Then fully dressed in something other than pajamas, Emily returned to a waiting Morgan. "Why are you staring?"

"You going to tell me what that dream was about?"

"What dream?"

"Come on Em. It had to be serious. Charlie said she tried to wake you but you just wouldn't come to. As soon as I heard that I wanted to bolt up here, but I didn't want to scare her."

"She was scared?"

"She's fine Emily. And if she's not, I probably wouldn't know because she's just like her mama and keeps it to herself."

"She's a lot more open than you think."

"I know. And you usually are too. So you going to tell me what's up?"

"Just drop it Derek. Please? I was supposed to have Charlie ready by ten so Garcia could take her. I'm already behind."

"Fine, but this isn't over."

"It never is." She said under her breath as Morgan began to help her down the stairs. She fought him every step of the way.

As they walked into the kitchen, Emily was instantly greeted to the flamboyant stylings of one Penelope Garcia. Her shirt was so bright and colorful that she could have been used to direct air traffic. Planes would definitely be able to see her neon self. But it was so her that Emily couldn't help but smile. "Hi Pen. What are you guy's talking about?"

"Jujube here…"

Emily turned to Morgan and whispered. "Jujube?"

"I'll tell you later."

"As I was saying, Mini E was telling me that her mommy's mommy came for a visit..."

"What?" Morgan asked shocked. "The ambassador was here?"

"Yup." Charlie confirmed. "Mommy's mommy came for a visit and we finally got to talk. We had lots of fun. Right mommy?"

"We did." The looks she was getting from her friends clearly told her they were skeptical. "We had fun and mended some fences; built a few bridges."

"We didn't build any fences." Charlie informed them.

"It's just a saying Charlie Bear."

"Oh. When's Grandma coming back?"

"She had to leave for work today so I don't know. She told me she'll miss you and we'll make plans with her as soon as we can. Ok?"

"I guess, but it has to be soon. I only just saw her and I want to see her again."

"I'll try sweetie." She promised. "If you're done eating, why don't you go get dressed and ready? You're going to have so much fun with Penelope today."

"Ok. Be right back!" She said before boisterously prancing away.

"Mama Prentiss was here?" Garcia needed the gossip. It fed her soul.

"Yes, she called Monday to tell me she would be in town and would like to meet with me. I figured it was time to introduce her to Charlie. She took it well and we're working on a better relationship." She wanted to explain as simply and best as she could before Garcia could get into any questions.

"You knew a whole week and you said nothing? Be still my broken gossiper's heart. When I return the tiny Peaches, mama Peach needs to fill in honorary Aunt Penelope on all the details."

"I'll do my best."

"Here Princess. We brought you something too." Morgan said and handed her a takeout carton.

"Thank you." Opening the container and picking at the food with the plastic fork, she asked, "So what's the plan today Garcia? Nothing crazy right? And we agreed that there'd be a gifting limit."

"I don't believe I agreed to that."

"Pen…" Emily spoke like she was lecturing a small child.

"JJ doesn't set limits on my Henry spoiling."

"That's because she's scared to try."

"But I didn't miss five years with him."

"Please Garcia. Just don't go overboard." With a little nudging from her best guy, Garcia agreed not to overdo it. She knew she'd be able to work her way around the rules anyway. "So what's the plan?"

"After this, Charlie and I are going to pick up JJ and Henry to do some shopping. And then, we're going to pick up Jack from Haley's so he could spend the afternoon with us at the movies. And we're going to go to that play land place so I can bathe the kiddies in gleeful goodness and all kinds of sugary treats."

"Hotch knows Charlie's going to be there? You ran this by him?" She asked curiously; concerned.

"Yeah." Another baby step? "I wanted all the kids together. They're going to grow up like family. They should spend time together." Morgan watched Emily's tense reaction. He couldn't tell if it was residual affect from her dream or if she didn't want her daughter close to the kids. The latter didn't make sense though.

"They should." Emily agreed. She liked the idea; she just didn't know how it would work out with Hotch. "So what time do you think you'll be back?"

Garcia gave an estimated time that Emily knew to tack an extra hour or two on to. There was some leeway there. As they finalized the plans, Charlie came back down all ready and excited to go. With a big kiss and shared "I love you"s, Charlie and Garcia took off. Morgan and Emily were left alone. He was clearly worried about her; the whole overprotective brother thing taking over.

"So you stayed?" She asked.

"Yeah, is that a problem?'

"No, but do you have somewhere you need to be?" He looked at her in confusion. "You keep checking the time."

"That's because we have somewhere we need to be together. You ready to go?"

"Go where?" She asked nervously. She hadn't left the house in a while and she hadn't planned on it until she was fighting fit and ready for action, or she was forced out; whichever came first.

"Appointment with the doctor."

"I don't have an appointment."

"You didn't have one. You cancelled the one you were supposed to have so I had Garcia schedule a new one for today that I am taking you to. So let's go."

"No. No, no, no, no… They never tell you what you want to hear."

"What is it that you want to hear?"

"That everything will be ok and I can go back to work now."

"Well, the first part's true, but I think we'll have to hold off on that last one."

"You don't want me back at work?" She feigned hurt with a childish pout.

"You know I do, but I'd rather have you healthy so you can have my back."

"I always have your back Derek."

"Good Prentiss. Then let's go. The sooner the doctor clears you, the sooner we're out in the field together."

"But I don't want to."

"Don't make me carry you."

"You wouldn't."

"I would."

"I hate you right now." It was as good as conceit. She let him win that one; he deserved as much. But that didn't mean she'd have to like it.

Thinking about her dream; Hotch, Doyle, Charlie… The whole car ride she had a scowl. She tried to hide it, but Morgan was watching her closely. He was concerned about her for so many reasons. She was his friend; she was his family and she was hurting. He didn't want to see her hurt. And every attempt at conversation was quickly shut down so that only worried him more.

Stopping the car in front of the hospital, Derek quickly locked the doors before she could escape. "What's going on Derek?" He needed to say something before they went in there.

"Listen to me Princess. You may be good at hiding things and you may be good at keeping your emotions at bay, but you feel more than you let on. And you're not fooling anyone. I can see you're struggling. There's something going on up there." He said as his finger gently grazed her head. "You keep everything so bottled up, but we know it's there. So talk to me. I'm here when you're ready because you are my partner, you are my friend, and you are my family. So when you're ready, I'm here. Until then, we got an appointment to get you to."

"Thanks Derek." She knew he meant every word and it went both ways.

"Anything for you Em." Things would get better for all of them in time. Baby steps were key; tiny steps toward making them all whole again; to healing them. She was the foundation to the recovery. Once the doctor gave her the ok, she'd work on building them all up again. Things were better with her mother. Even after everything she put them through, things were pretty much the same with the team, except Hotch. So she'd work on it. They all had to find a way to just move forward.

**I wanted to do so much with this chapter but there was no way it'd all fit. The ambassador took over. I hope you all liked how that went. Emily needed something to go smooth in her bumpy ride. But everything has a reason.**

**Pace should be picking up soon so more than just a few days are covered in a chapter. It was just necessary at this point. I have big plans for this story, so stick around.**

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**


	18. Nightmares that bring Us Closer

Chapter 18: Nightmares that bring Us Closer

The appointment hadn't gone as well as she hoped, but she didn't tell anyone that. She was fine. That was all they needed to know. And that was the truth. She, technically, was fine. "How did it go?" Morgan asked as soon as she left the exam room. He had been waiting impatiently for her, hoping for good news.

"Fine."

"Come on Em."

"She said I can start doing more. Wants me to start some physical therapy. She even recommended some techniques." The new doctor, who Dr. Dillon recommended before returning to Boston, wanted Emily to take it easy. She wasn't healing as fast as she should've been; probably because she wasn't resting as instructed. And Dr. Marino wanted her to keep resting, but one full work up with Emily and the doctor knew she wouldn't get what she wanted, so she recommended some light exercises; stretches really. Emily was going to push it with permission or without. But she'd do the stretches too.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I was thinking about moving some of the old equipment that's still in my apartment over to the house. I can turn the basement into a gym on one half and a playroom on the other."

"That's a lot of work for a woman who can barely walk right."

"Oh, thanks…"

"But that's what you got me for right?"

"You bet your ass. I was actually going to ask you if we could stop by there. I haven't been there since... You know… and I'd like to see it while we're already out." She couldn't wait to be rid of that apartment. She had plans for the money she'd get from the sale and it really was time to move on from that place. They were growing, her and Charlie, and the memories would always be there, but the house was a far better place to live, a far more secure place to live, and a much needed fresh start. Being in the house, finally completing the décor and whatnot and getting rid of the apartment, that would give them some closure. That would help them move on.

"Anything for you mama. You want to go now?"

"If that's ok with you." She reverted her gaze back to him and away from the scenery. "Please?"

"I'm heading there right now."

"Well good." She joked with him trying to keep the mood light as they drove across town. As they neared the apartment, she quietly said, "Thanks Derek."

"Anything for you Princess. We've already had this conversation."

"I know, but it bore repeating."

He pulled into the building's assigned parking that Emily had pointed out. "Let's go." He said as he gentlemanly opened the car door for her. And as the two made their way through the morning, the rest of the gang had an adventure of their own.

Picking up Jack from Haley's was an experience to say the least. There was no real awkwardness or tension, but no one from the BAU had been in contact with her since before the divorce. So they really didn't know how it would go. And if they knew Charlie was the woman's estranged husband's daughter… Things would've been worse. "You do it JJ."

"What? Pen, you're a big girl. You can knock on her door and say you're there for Jack without any problems." They bickered back and forth as they sat parked in front of the Hotchner residence. Or was it Brooks-Hotchner residence? Maybe just Brooks?

"But you're so much better at these things. Come on. She likes you more."

"PG, I don't think she's happy with any of us really. We're all part of the thing that ruined her marriage. The BAU tore their family apart. I don't think she wants to be best friends and have spa days together. I also don't think she has a problem with us either. She was always friendly. Just knock and be polite."

"I'm always polite."

"Just go Garcia. I'll wait here with the kids."

"Agh, fine."

"I'll go with you Penelope." The tiny voice alerted the adults to the children's eavesdropping.

"Thank you Charlie. But you don't have to."

"But I want to. Jack is my friend, and I don't want you to be lonely."

Turning to her friend, Garcia quietly spoke, "I knew there was a reason I love that kid."

"You mean other than her good looks and charming personality." JJ quipped.

"Yes, other than her sheer Emily-ness perfection." Garcia said to JJ before opening the car door. "Let's go Mini E."

The child left no time for a change of heart, quickly climbing out of her seat and exiting the car. "Is Jack's mommy nice?" She asked innocently, naturally curious after the conversation she overheard.

"She is."

"Then why were you scared to go to the door by yourself?"

"Uh… You heard us talking?" Charlie nodded. Did she know what divorce and estrangement was? "It's a long story Peaches. Maybe I'll tell you later, but Haley is a very nice woman."

"Ok."

Garcia outstretched her unheld hand to knock on the door just as Haley opened it and startled the techie. "Holy Gaga!"

"Sorry I scared you Penelope; it's nice to see you again." Haley said.

"You too."

"And who's this little lady?"

Garcia gave the girl a little nudge and she immediately held out the hand that wasn't gently squeezing Garcia's. "I'm Charlie."

"You must be. God, you look so much like your mother."

"Thank you Ms…"

"Haley sweetie. Call me Haley."

"Ms. Haley, is Jack home? We don't want to miss the movie."

Smiling, she answered, "He'll be here in a second." She turned to Garcia. "I saw you guys parked out here and was just going to tell you he'd be right out. He's really excited to be spending time with you. In fact, he was just telling me all about you."

"Really?" Charlie questioned.

"Yeah." She said with a smile. "He told me that he wanted to play with you again because you were funny and nice and that he had a very good time with you and Henry."

"He was a lot of fun too." She said excitedly. "Can you tell him I said that?"

"Tell him yourself sweetie." Haley responded as Jack came bounding through the door practically knocking Charlie to the ground.

"Sorry Charlie."

"It's ok Jack. We were waiting for you."

"I know. I forgot to put my toys away and I had to do that. Hi Penelope." He received a bubbly hello from the blonde, and then, looking up to his mom, he asked, "Can I go now?"

"Yes," she smiled and leaned down, "have fun. I love you."

"Love you too." Grabbing Charlie's hand he yelled, "Let's go!"

Haley and Garcia watched him practically carry her to the car. "They get along well, don't they?" Haley asked.

"This is the first time I've seen them together, but baby Prentiss over there and the mini Hotchner don't not get along with many people."

"I guess that's true. What time do you think you'll have him back?"

"Until I tire them out…" They got into more detail as Garcia gave her the same spiel she gave Emily. And plans were set. Joining JJ and the kids in the car and making sure they were all buckled up, they headed to the theatre.

"Did we decide which movie yet?" JJ asked the kids. The boys then spit out two different choices and began to argue which movie was better. It was a very male thing to do. Super heroes or animated bliss?

"What do you think Charlie?" Garcia asked. All Charlie did was shrug. "You don't know or you don't care?"

"I don't care. I just want to see a movie." She moved closer to Penelope, away from the boys and asked. "Why are boys so annoying? All they do is fight." The boys in her class were worse, but Henry wasn't like them, usually.

Garcia laughed. "Boys have a thing called a…"

"Garcia!" JJ interrupted. "She's five, remember that."

"What I was going to say is that boys have a thing called testosterone and it makes them a little crazy."

"Is that why they fight so much?"

"Yeah." JJ answered. "If they don't decide soon, you pick. Ok Charlie?"

"Ok." Charlie honestly didn't care what they watched. She was just really happy to be with everyone. The only thing that could've made it better was her mother and maybe the rest of the team too. She loved Derek and Dave, and Aaron seemed nice enough. Although, she hadn't seen much of Sir Aaron since the hospital. Everyone else came by except for him. She didn't understand it, but it didn't make much difference to her either. "How come mommy still can't come out with us?"

"Because mommy's still getting better. If she does too much too fast, which Emily does, she could get hurt again." JJ kindly answered before tending to the boys.

"Oh…" Charlie just cuddled up on the bench with Garcia and listened as JJ tried mediating the boys' argument. "Penelope?"

"What is it Pudding Pop?" Getting up onto her knees and scooting closer, Charlie whispered something into the blonde's ear. "Of course we can do that. We'll think of something awesome. I promise."

"Thank you." Garcia helped the girl sit and clutched her into her grasp.

"You're very welcome."

It took some doing and a lot of bribing, but they finally decided on a movie that wasn't "babyish" as Jack said or "boring and stupid" like Henry said. The next argument would be snacks. Telling the boys they'd only get one candy and a big bag of popcorn to share started round two. Ignoring them and allowing Garcia to take that one, JJ turned to the only sane child. "And what do you want Charlie?"

Thinking really hard about it, she asked, "Can I have popcorn and candy too?"

"Well that depends."

"On what?"

"On what kind you want." JJ was being playful but, being so young, it was hard for the girl to pick up on that.

"What kind can I have then?"

"I was joking sweetie. You can have whatever candy you want."

"Even the M&Ms?"

"Even those. Is that what you want?"

"Yes please."

"Ok."

JJ and Garcia got each kid a candy of their choice, a small popcorn and drink. Yes, they caved and gave the boys what they wanted, even though it was less for the money and they would definitely eat their way through it by mid movie. It was ok though. They just wanted the kids to have a good, fun day out.

"Are we ready for some cartoony goodness?" Garcia asked the bunch and received anxious nods in response. "Let's go get to our seats." Ushering the kids into the appropriate theatre, they found seats with no obstructed view and settled down. "Who wants to sit where?"

"I want to sit next to Charlie!" Henry yelled loud enough that the few people already in the room with them to look over to see what was up.

"But I want to sit next to her too." Jack whined.

"She's my friend."

"She's my friend too Henry. We played together too. And I'm older."

"So, she was mine first."

"Don't be a baby. We should let her pick." Turning to the girl he asked, "Don't you want to sit next to me?"

"No! You want to sit next to me." The adults found the argument pointless and it had a simple solution, but it was adorable to watch and they wanted to see how it played out.

"I sit in the middle and you both sit next to me."

"Ok." They answered at the same time and found the right seats leaving one empty one between them. Garcia ran a hand through the little brunette's hair.

"Good job kid."

"Boys are stupid."

"Sometimes they are." JJ said. "I'm sure your mommy will tell you all about it if you ask." JJ was sure Emily would dissuade her daughter from the opposite sex for as long as possible.

As the opening previews began to roll and they really settled in, Morgan and Prentiss were in her old apartment. Derek was walking around the upper level reliving the memories of his search for clues when Emily was a victim on their board. Just thinking of her as a victim made him sick to his stomach. If he could stop it, he wouldn't let it happen again; not to her or any of them. But that was a little unrealistic. They'd be in danger. That was the job, but if it was something he could help, he'd help.

"Hey Morgan." Emily called and pulled him from his mulling,

"What is it Princess?" He asked as he found her in the office turned guest room's closet staring at disassembled gym equipment and other items thrown in there for storage.

"Do you have your phone on you?"

Instinctually, he reached toward his belt where it'd normally be clipped and looked at her confused. "Yeah, why?"

Reaching out a hand for it, she answered, "I left mine in your car and I want to call my people."

"Your people? You have people? What kind of people?"

"Everyone has people Derek. But yes, I have people. You know, people that I need to fix this place up and clean it out so I can sell it."

"All you had to do was ask Princess." He responded in that smartass, smug way that was very Morgan.

"What do you mean?"

"You want to get this stuff out of here right? Move some into the new place and get rid of the rest?" She nods. "I got a perfectly good truck sitting in my driveway that could help do just that." Sensing her motion to protest, he put a hand up to stop her. "And this place needs a few repairs and a paint job. I can do that too."

"You can. I don't doubt that, but you don't have to."

"I know I don't have to, but you might remember that I'm the property guru. This is what I do when we're not working."

"Right, and don't you have like four other properties you can be doing it to?"

"I could, but they'll still be there when this is done."

"Are you sure?"

"Come on Princess, I wouldn't have said it if I wasn't."

"I don't know how to thank you."

"We never did get that date in that hot tub."

"In your dreams Morgan."

"Ouch." He placed both hands over his heart in feigned hurt. "That stings"

After a little more playful back and forth and a walk through of what needed to be done in the apartment, Emily was ready to go. Being out of the house was more exhausting than she anticipated. She couldn't wait to get her strength back. "Ready to take me home?"

Using the hint of sexual innuendo that he picked up from that comment, he responded, "How could I say no to an offer like that?"

"So you're ready?"

"Let's go mama." He said and guided her from the building. She wanted to be showered, changed, and relaxed by the time Charlie returned home. So he took her to do just that.

By that time, the movie was over and the kids were all running through the childhood wonderfulness that was the play land. Slides, a bounce house, games, and anything a kid could dream of were all in reach and the BAU babies loved it. Hell, Garcia loved it too. Even JJ turned into a bit of a kid there. For a while, they just had fun going wild. The boys picked what they wanted to do and Charlie followed them around. Keeping a close eye on them, the adults gossiped. They discussed Emily and how she was doing. They talked about Hotch's odd behavior that week at work. There were so many things to chat about and they were getting it all out.

But eventually, the day began to wind down and the children grew weary. "Let's get these kiddies home." Agreeing, JJ wrangled up the bunch and packed them all into the car after exchanging their game tickets in for prizes. They were all so excited and had a great time. Garcia was just thrilled to have her honorary aunty time with all of them. And having JJ there was pretty great too.

After dropping off the rest of the gang, the only ones left were the analyst and the littlest Prentiss. They had a plan to talk over before Garcia relinquished all claim on the little girl until the next time. She asked the girl what exactly she wanted to do. All she asked of the elder was for help doing something special for Emily, that was what she whispered earlier, and Garcia was never one to say no to such an easy request from such a cute face. So they were planning.

"I'll talk to mommy and see when you can come with me next. I'll work on it though."

"It's a surprise! You can't tell her." She said worriedly.

"I won't. I promise." Garcia looked over to the girl. "It's our little secret."

"I had lots of fun."

"Even though boys are stupid?"

"They've always been stupid."

"And they always will be. Don't you forget that."

"I won't." She promised.

"Good. Now let's get you home back to your mom." That was exactly what Charlie wanted; to be home with her mom. She loved her new extended family, but there was nothing better than some mommy and Charlie time.

When they arrived at the house, Emily and Derek were resting in the living room. Really, Derek knew that she didn't do much and was already in pain so he pretended to be tired just to get her to sit down. He even convinced her to tell him everything she wanted done at the new house and the apartment. He was sneaky like that. He got exactly what he wanted, information and her relaxing, and he wasn't sure whether she even noticed.

"I think Charlie would like that. Don't you?"

"What do I know about five year old girls Em?"

"You mean you're not one?"

"Watch it Princess. Just because you're still hurting doesn't mean I won't punish you."

"Oh, are you going to spank me?"

"Are you asking?" It was times like that, where she and Morgan went back and forth with the teasing sexual innuendo and flirting, or girls' nights with Garcia and JJ, where things seemed so normal. During those times she forgot that Hotch was the father of her child and was being a complete jerk or that the aches weren't from a night out on the town but a near fatal incident with her past. They were just there. And things were good. But good things rarely lasted long, so reality always came back to bite her in the ass.

"Absolutely not Morgan. Get a grip." She pretended to be disgusted by the mere notion. "If anyone does any spanking, it wouldn't be you."

"So you're going to spank me then. Alright. I can get down with that." They went on like that until they heard a gentle knock from the front door and the door creak open.

"They're back." Emily stated with a smile as they waited for them to come in.

"Mommy!"

"There she is. Hey baby." Charlie ran to the couch immediately sitting next to and snuggling up to Emily. "Did you have fun today?"

"Lots and lots of fun. But I missed you so much!" The others watched the scene play out. It was still new and beautiful to watch even if they got used to the idea of Emily being a mother.

"I missed you too. But you liked spending time with Penelope right."

"I love her like I love you only I love you more because you're my mommy."

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes."

"Good." Emily looked suspiciously around and noticed the lack of bags. Had Garcia actually listened? She highly doubted that. "You didn't get anything?"

"Of course silly. Penelope told me to leave the bags where you can't see them."

"Did she now?" Emily looked right to Garcia with a squinted glare. The tech looked guilty. "How much did she buy for you?" She asked, still looking towards Garcia to gage her reactions.

"You have to see mommy!" Charlie exclaimed animatedly. "We got so many new books and clothes. And she got me toys." The more she spoke, the guiltier Garcia looked.

"Did you say thank you?"

"I always say thank you."

"That's my girl." Quietly leaning closer. Emily asked, "Did you do what I asked you?"

"Uh huh, just like you asked. She didn't even know."

"Who didn't know what?" Penelope asked curiously. She was never out of the loop.

Ignoring the question, Emily just got to the point. "Garcia, we need to talk." Standing up, with the help of an amused Morgan, she moved closer to her colorful friend, who was looking for a way out of the conversation altogether.

"Good God! Gumdrop looks like the sun has melted her sugary goodness. Take Jujube here and head into that magical dream place of candy land. We'll talk tomorrow."

"Baby Girl, maybe you should just …" Emily interrupted him.

"So I'm going to ignore the obvious insult thrown in there and agree." They stared at her like she was crazy. Emily Prentiss would not agree to that, nor would she just give up. "It's getting late and little miss here needs to get ready for bed."

"Do I have to?" Charlie whined.

"Why don't you wash up and get your pajamas on. I got a new pair on your bed. And if Penelope tells me you were a good girl we'll watch a movie before bed."

Looking from her mother over to Garcia, she threw out the puppy dog eyes and asked, "I was a good girl, right?"

"The best little girl in the world."

"See mommy. I'm the best little girl in the world."

"And a modest one too." Charlie looked at her confused and the adults just laughed. "Say goodbye and thank you to Penelope then go get changed. Ok?"

"Ok. Are we going to watch a movie?"

"Yes. We will watch a movie."

"Ok." After standing on the couch to kiss her mom's cheek, Charlie jumped off and walked over to Garcia. "You're really fun Penelope. Thank you for taking me and my friends out. And don't forget what we discussed." Her mom used that word before. She was pretty sure it meant talk.

"What are you 30?"

"No silly, I'm this many." She said while holding up a full hand, proudly displaying five fingers.

"What was discussed?" Emily asked.

"That's for the oracle of knowledge and baby Prentiss to know and everyone else, mainly you my buttercup, to find out at a later date."

"Charlie?"

"Sorry mommy, it's a surprise."

"I don't like surprises."

"You love my surprises!"

"And you will love this one." Garcia assured her.

"Did it cost any money?"

"No."

"Is it a living, breathing thing?"

"No."

"Should I be worried?"

"No."

"Fine, I won't ask… now. Charlie, say goodnight."

"Goodnight Penelope." Charlie wrapped her little arms around the woman until Garcia picked her up and squeezed her tight. "You and JJ are the best. My favoritest aunties ever."She hugged tighter. "I never had aunties before, but now I have you."

Garcia felt like crying. God she loved that kid; all the BAU babies. "You're my favorite niece too Juju." Apparently, that nickname was sticking… At least until she came up with something better.

"I like you Penny." She whispered as her head craned into the nook of Garcia's neck.

Practically gushing, Garcia responded, "I like you too." In reality, Charlie loved them. She loved JJ and Garcia and everyone that had been there for her. They quickly became her family just like they had for Emily. Each of them was important to her. And she did love them. But with the exception of her mother and maybe Henry, she hadn't said that she loved any of them; not really out loud, and not to them. That didn't mean it wasn't true. She just didn't know how to say it to anyone that wasn't Emily.

Giving the sweet girl one last squeeze to juice all the love she was carrying out of her, Garcia let her go and placed her securely on her feet. Still with a smile, she ran over to the unnaturally quiet Derek Morgan. He, like Emily, was just watching to see what would come out of Charlie next. No one ever knew with her. She was too smart for her own good and wise beyond her years. So she was a show of her own.

"Derek, did you take care of mommy today?"

"I sure did Princess."

"Was she a good girl? She can't watch the movie if she wasn't a good girl."

"Hey." Emily interrupted as the others just laughed.

"Relax." Morgan said and lowered himself to eye level. "Your mommy was a good girl. As good as she can be. You know her. She's such a trouble maker."

"I am not."

"Ok Princess, you go on believing that."

Charlie, deciding she heard enough of their banter, asked, "Did you have fun today?"

"We had a little fun today. Didn't we?"

"We sure did, but nowhere near as much fun as Charlie. Fun she won't be having again for a while if she doesn't go get her butt into her pajamas."

"I'm going. I'm going."

"Bye Derek. I'm happy you and mommy are friends. And that you're my friend."

"Me too kid, now go get changed so you can watch that movie."

"Ok." She answered and quickly hugged him. "Bye Penelope. Thank you."

"Bye my sweets." Garcia called after her as she ran away from the group. "So how much trouble am I in?" She asked Emily as soon as Charlie was away."

"How much did you really buy her?"

"Well, not much."

"Why don't I believe you? How much is not much?"

"Well, I got Henry this thing so I had to get her one too, and Jack. But it really wasn't that much. There were sales and… and 50% off… and she likes to read. I mostly got her books. She likes books… you like books. And there were sales Emily." Emily feigned a scowl as Garcia stopped her rambling to look at her friend. "Oh, you're really angry."

"No, I'm not. I expected you to ignore my wishes and just get her whatever."

"So you're not mad?"

"No, I'm not mad."

"Not that I'm not thrilled, but why aren't you made?"

"I don't mind that you buy her things. That's you. I just don't want you to spend all your money on her. The government doesn't pay well." Morgan knew the look she was giving. She did something.

"What did you do?" He asked.

"What does he mean 'what did you do?' What did she do? What did you do?"

"I gave Charlie money to slip into your pocket." She felt accomplished and smug in her own right.

Reaching into her pockets, searching her jacket first, Garcia finally found a few rolled up bills in her pants pocket. "How did she? But… Oh that little sneak."

"That should cover everything."

"How did she even get it in there? I didn't feel it."

"Looks like we have a spy in training. That or a pick pocket. Maybe Emily's skills are hereditary." Morgan joked.

"Take it back." Garcia insisted, all but throwing the money back at Emily. "Take it back right now."

"Garcia, consider it compensation. You probably bought her hundreds and hundreds of dollars worth of stuff since you met her. That barely puts a dent in it."

"But I don't want it. You may be Wonder Woman, but I can still mess with your credit. Take it back!"

"I'll take it back if you return what you bought." Charlie would've hated that, but Emily knew she wouldn't bite.

"Absolutely not. Just take it back."

Seeing that Morgan was about to step in, Emily offered a compromise. "I'll make you a deal. You take the money now, and next time you steal her from me, you can use it to buy her whatever."

Thinking about it, she finally answered, "Fine, but it has to be soon. I have big plans for her. Juju is the only little girl. I finally get to buy dresses. Do you know how long I waited for one of you to pop out a little girl to dress in pretty colors and do her hair and get our nails done? And now I have that thanks to you and your magnificent breeding."

"You could've had kids Garcia. You still can. I'm sure Kevin would help you out with that. Or Morgan. He'd do it."

"Gumdrop, I don't want kids. I want your kids. I can return them after we've had our fun and they're all hopped up on sugar. Although my chocolate god and I would have the most perfect offspring."

"You know it." He added.

"But Em, if you want to borrow my hunk to get all sweaty and make more perfect babies for me to fawn over, Derek's all yours."

"Ok, let's just end this here. Garcia, no more over buying. Occasional presents are fine, I won't deny you that, but be reasonable. And no more talk of me and Morgan, or anyone, making babies."

"But…" Seeing the look on her face, even though Morgan looked thoroughly amused, Garcia knew better than to push it. "Ok." Giving Morgan a hug and a quick peck on the cheek, she walked over to Emily. "I'm going to head out. Kevin should be waiting for me. He has a romantic night planned. Have fun with Juju and get some rest. You look like you need it." With a quick hug, Emily reciprocated the goodbyes and once again, Morgan and Prentiss were left alone.

"Don't you have a life outside of babysitting me?"

"Nope."

"No hot dates with a busty blonde you met at a bar?"

"Not unless you're a busty blonde and we just don't know it."

"Oh, we'd know it." She said as he moved from his post against the wall, helped her to the couch, and took the seat next to her. "Seriously though, don't you have something better to do on a Saturday other than hang out with me?"

"Who said I'm here for you? I'm here for the kid."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. She's a good kid, and way better company than you."

"Not nice." As they waited for Charlie to return, they didn't do much of anything. They just remained in their spots sitting comfortably next to each other and waited. It was quiet, but not silent, until Morgan just wanted to hear her talk again. He knew she was struggling still. Whether any of them admitted it or not, they all were, but they tended to just shy away from that topic. No one wanted to talk about the near death experience and the repercussions. So they went with something safe, just like he was doing right then.

"I remember you saying something about pizza night. You still do that?"

"We haven't really been able to start that again. You need some sort of strength to knead it." She said pointing to her upper arms. "Once I'm up for it again, we'll do it every Sunday to make up for lost time. But I can't right now."

"Then invite me over and I'll help you out."

"Hmmm, I'll have to think about that."

"Hey."

"I'm kidding. You and your muscles are always invited. And I'm sure Charlie will be happy to have pizza night again."

"Good. We'll do it tomorrow. I'll go to the store and pick up some stuff for the house and whatever you need for pizza."

"You don't have to do that."

"I expect you to fight me, but just give me this. I want to do it; if not for you, then for her. So let me."

"You win… this time." Looking to his self-satisfied face she just said, "Don't get used to it."

"Oh, I won't Princess. So am I allowed to stay for the movie or is it girls only?"

"I don't know. I don't think you can handle it. We might get too cute for you all cuddled up on the couch watching girly movies. Think you can handle that?"

"I can handle it. Grew up with sisters, chick flicks, princesses, and fairy tales… That's all we watched."

"Alright, let me go get Charlie. You make the popcorn."

"Nuh uh." He said as he grabbed her hand and, gently, pulled her back down. "You stay here."

"Morgan…"

"No, you sit. I'll get the kid and we'll make snacks. You'll hold out on us and keep all the goods for you anyway."

"I would not."

"You're a chocolate hog."

"I would have shared…" He gave her a pointed look. "With her…"

"Right, that's what I thought. Stay here." He demanded as he stood, certain to make sure she didn't move. "You good?"

"I'm good." The smile on her face was genuine. He could tell. And, while it wasn't the first time she had smiled since everything, this particular one was caused by him. It made him happy to see a smile that actually reached her eyes.

Morgan looked over his shoulder to check on Emily one last time before making his way upstairs. Emily gave him the grand tour. He knew where everything was, or what every room was at least. Proceeding down the hall, he stopped in front of Charlie's door. Seeing it closed, he knocked gently. "Charlie?" He asked and got no answer. "Charlie?" He tried again, his voice more urgent.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard the door behind him scrape open and a tiny voice call out to him. "Derek? What are you doing up here? Is mommy with you?"

"Hey cutie, you scared me."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." She apologized to him with a timid voice.

"It's alright. I told your mom I'd come get you. If it's alright with you, I'm going to stay for the movie."

"Really?" Her face lit up with excitement.

"Is that ok?"

"Yes. Yes!" Of course it was ok with her. It was her second movie of the day and the more the merrier. Why wouldn't she want him there?

"What were you doing in your mom's room?" She was changed and cozy, the movie in one hand, a bundle of clothes in the other.

"These are for mommy. She likes these to sleep in."

"You're a good girl. You know that?"

"Mommy tells me that all the time."

"Well," He started as he scooped her off her feet and into his arms and tickled her, "that's good because it's true."

The sweet sounds of laughter filled the house, echoing as they came down the stairs. Emily was pleased to see them getting along so well. She was pleased Charlie seemed to fit in with them so perfectly. The team was such a big part of her life and Morgan was her partner. It was apparent that he was as in love with her daughter as she was when they came walking by, Charlie ridding piggy back, stopping just long enough to kindly throw the fresh clothes at her and tell her to change and get comfortable while they took care of everything. The smile from her child and the wink Morgan threw at her made it clear they were playing with her, but he was serious about her relaxing and not doing much of anything. For once, she decided to just do it. She needed to face it; the little she did that day was taxing. Her body still wasn't quite ready for much.

So she changed, sank back into the couch, and listened to the bang, clatter, and pop coming from the kitchen as she rested. Shortly after, they returned with an abundance of bad-for-you foods and sat beside her. Placing Charlie in between them, they all got under the blankets and started the movie. _Alice in Wonderland_, the animated version, played around them. Charlie didn't even make it halfway through the movie before passing out. Emily turned to her, curious why she wasn't glued to her side, only to find her nestled into Derek, head resting on his lap, one hand squeezing Jazz, the other barely holding onto the slipping popcorn bowl as Derek ran a hand gently through her hair. Emily couldn't help but feel a pang in her chest. She loved what she was seeing, but she couldn't stop feeling that it should've been Hotch there doing that. But then she was grateful. They could do a lot worse than the handsome Derek Morgan putting aside his player ways for a night of domesticity with the Prentiss girls.

"The rug rat must've had a long day." He said to her when he noticed her staring. "She has been out for at least ten minutes."

"I should get her to bed." She said, stifling a yawn of her own.

As she stood and attempted to grab Charlie, he stopped her. "I don't think so Princess. I've got this." She just nodded and let him do his thing. Carefully, he lifted her head to escape from under her and then pulled her from the couch allowing her to rest her head on his shoulder.

"Not tired…" She mumbled still half asleep.

"Night baby. I love you." Emily simply said in return as she kissed the girl's cheek and motioned for Morgan to take her upstairs. She made a point to remind him how to do it, how Charlie liked to be tucked in and he just told her, "I think I got it." She believed him. Again though, she felt it should've been Hotch tucking in their little angel.

When he returned, he could see her toying with the bottle again and nearly asleep herself. He had to wonder if she had been taking the pills regularly, which he doubted, and if they were the reason she didn't just wake up from her dream that morning. Deciding it was a good time to interrupt her undoubtedly complicated thought process, he said, "Ready for bed?"

"No." She said quietly, not meant for him to hear. Then she turned to him, plastered a smile on, and said, "Yeah, I guess that means you're going?"

"How about I stay?" After hearing her say no, seeing her that morning after the nightmare, and knowing that she could use a friend whether she knew she needed that or not, he had to offer. He needed to be there for his friend. And she secretly wanted him, or any of her friends, there with her too.

"What?" It still shocked her when people seemed to care enough to go out of their way to help her.

"What if I stay tonight? I'll sleep in the spare room next to yours and if you have a nightmare, I'll be here for you to help you through it."

"Why would you do that?" She didn't want to discuss her nightmares, but she couldn't deny them anymore. He knew, he witnessed, and she couldn't pretend he didn't even if that was what she did all day.

"Because you're Emily, and I'm Derek. And tomorrow's Sunday, so it saves me from having to drive back tomorrow for pizza night."

"Oh, so this isn't entirely altruistic?" She joked, trying to add some levity to the serious tone he was taking.

"Of course not Princess."

She really thought about it as a silence took over. "You can stay." She quietly said. "But only because I'm too tired to fight you on it and I know that's exactly what we would've done if I said no."

"Good girl." Standing and holding out a hand for her, he said, "Now let's get you to bed."

"Ok." Surprised by her willingness to cooperate, he just escorted her to her room and informed her he was running to his car for his bag and to call his neighbor to feed Clooney and then he would be right back. She was asleep when he checked on her and he was relieved, but it was still a little early for him. So he headed down to the basement. He managed to drag Emily's plans for the space out of her so he could work on it, without her knowledge, which would a coup, and he planned to help make it happen. Right then it was only storage, but with a little drywall, a few tools, and some elbow grease he'd turn the room into just what she wanted and more.

He stayed down there for about two hours measuring and making plans. There wasn't much he could do for his friend. What happened happened, and it couldn't be undone. He couldn't go back and stop it. But he could be there for her now and do anything to ease the stress. And property he was good at; fixing it up and that sort of thing he was good at. So he'd do it for her because that was what he could offer.

After writing up all the measurements and making a list of the materials he'd need, he saw the time and decided to call it a night. He never stayed over Emily's before and obviously never at the house, but he felt comfortable there, with them. Sure, he still held a little anger. He was still upset that she kept so many things from him and their team, but she lived. And if she didn't, all he would've had was the anger and he didn't want that for them. He wanted his Emily; his partner. So he'd let go of the past and hold onto her now. He just wanted to see her through it; whatever it was.

As he reached the landing, still lost in his thoughts, he heard a sniffling sound. At first he thought it was Emily. The nightmares got her and he wasn't there like he said he would be. But as he was about to enter Emily's room, he heard it again. It wasn't her. It was Charlie. Kids weren't his forte. What was he supposed to do? Was it like one of the child victims? Did he comfort her like he would them? Should he have gotten Emily? He wasn't sure, but he was doing his best.

He gently knocked before opening the door. He didn't want to scare her, but he didn't think he'd actually get a reply. So he went in to find her sitting up in bed squeezing her monkey, the faint glow of the night light casting against her tear stained face. The sniffling didn't stop and it broke his heart. "Hey, hey Princess. You're ok."

"Derek? What… what are you doing here?" She hiccupped.

"I came to check on a very special little girl and her mother." He sat next to her on the bed, pulling her into his lap and holding her tight. "Did you have a bad dream?"

"Uh huh."

"Do you want to tell me about it? It will make you feel better."

"I dreamt that mommy went away again and you all left with her. I don't want you to go and I don't want mommy to go."

"We're not going anywhere." He promised her. "Your mommy told me she loves you so much. She'd never leave you; not if she can help it."

"But she did before."

"No, she was trying to keep you safe and she came back. Now you're safe, your mom's here, and you have all of us too."

"I have you?"

"Are you kidding me? You're my favorite five year old on the planet."

"I am?"

"You are. Because just like your mom, you're special."

Sniffling one last time as Morgan wiped away her tears, she asked, "Will you read to me?"

"You want me to read to you?" She nodded with a hint of a smile on her worn face. "Alright, but you have to talk to me first."

"About what?"

"Do you have bad dreams a lot?"

"Not when I'm with mommy. Only when I'm alone."

"Did you tell mommy?"

"Mommy's always tired; I can't wake her up at night. That's mean."

"But she'd want to know."

"No, I don't have bad dreams when I sleep in her bed. I like her bed. Mommy let's me cuddle, but sometimes she makes scary noises and starts to move a lot."

"She does?"

"Yeah. I don't like when she does that."

"No, I don't either." He heard enough. Emily's nightmares were frequent. The girl was having them too. The whole team was still dealing with some aspect of it. No one was as healed; not completely, but the Prentiss family fared the worst. "But she's ok now, and I'm here. I'll be here for you because I'm your friend."

"And I'm your friend too."

"Good because I'd be sad if you weren't."

"You would?" She asked, her voice drifting off.

"Who wouldn't want you as a friend?"

"Thank you."

"For what Princess?"

"You made me feel better." It came out mumbled, but audible.

"Anytime." He assured her as he rocked her to sleep. There didn't need to be a story or anything. She just needed to know that they were ok, that she had people, and that she had her mom. He gave her that and that was all she needed to fall asleep comfortably and not wake up. He stood up, still holding her, and gave her one last squeeze. She was just so precious. Laying her down, he tucked her in again and moved the hair out of her face. She looked peaceful and serene. And he helped get her there. That was one Prentiss down and only a matter of time before the other started the cycle up again.

As expected, it happened. It was about 2 AM when he heard the whimpering sounds from the room next to his. The faint calls of, "No! No!" made him jump out of bed and rush to her room. Much like the previous morning, he found her squirming, in a cold sweat, and nearly panting. She was having a similar dream. Hotch was there, and Ian. They had Charlie. It was all too real.

"Emily, Emily wake up." More whimpers were his response. "Come on Princess, I got you. Wake up."

"No!" She said and snapped up, wincing as soon as she did.

"Relax, you're ok." He mimicked his earlier actions with Charlie, doing his best to calm her down. "I got you. You're safe. I got you."

"What happened? Is Charlie ok? Why are you here?"

"I stayed over. Remember?"

"Right, yeah." She hazily answered while allowing him to pull her to him and tenderly hug her.

"And it's a good thing I did. Are you ok?"

"I don't know what's wrong with me." She answered. And it was the truth; she didn't know what was wrong with her, but obviously there was something. It was over. It was supposed to be over, but it was all still there, fresh on her mind and new each and every time she woke up in a cold sweat with her heart racing.

"You had a bad dream. It happens. But you're ok now."

"I'm ok."

"Has this been happening since you got home?"

"I don't know."

"That's not going to work this time. You need to talk to me. You didn't last time. You didn't allow me or anyone to help you and look where that got us. You need to talk to me now."

"Before, I've been having nightmares since before I got hurt, as soon as I got the first message."

"Message? From Doyle?" She nodded into his chest. "I should've noticed."

"Stop that. Don't beat yourself up. If I wanted you to notice, you would have, but I didn't. I didn't want you to know."

"You should have trusted me."

"I do Morgan, but there's a difference between trusting you and telling you something that would get you killed."

"Talk to me now then. What was the dream about?"

"I'm fine Morgan. We don't need to talk about it." She tried to push herself away with no avail. She was too weak and he just held her tighter. "I just want to go to sleep. I'm fine."

"You have this glazed look in your eyes all the time. You may have survived Doyle, but a part of you died."

"What?"

"You're in pain, but you don't do anything about it."

"How would you know that?"

"You were playing with your pills all day. You have them, but you don't use them. Why not? The only person you're hurting is you. Why do you want to feel the pain?"

"Are you profiling me?"

"I'm just talking to you, being honest with you."

"Well I don't do that."

"Yes you do. I saw you grab at your head at least three times when you thought I wasn't looking. And I know your ribs are still bothering you. So why not take the meds?"

"Maybe I need to feel that to know that I'm ok."

"But you're not ok, you're not fine, and that's ok. Just take it. You need it. You look like you haven't slept in days and you probably haven't. You put so much into being alright for Charlie and for us that you're not ok. Just take it."

"No, I can't."

"Why not?" The question lingered, time lapsed, and eventually, Emily came up with a partial truth. She didn't want to talk about Hotch or Ian, but, at least, with the latter, she could be more open. And maybe she needed to get a little off her chest. Her nightmares were plagued with him, both hims, and sometimes it went as far as watching each and every member of her team die because of her.

"I had to beg him to kill somebody…"

"You what?" The admission shocked him. The fact that she was opening up shocked him.

"The snipers had cameras in the lenses. I could see JJ and Rossi on the roof with Fahey. We all could. Their plan was to kill them all; one by one, starting with JJ and Rossi, then Fahey if they still had a shot. I had to beg him, plead with him to shoot Fahey. Kill him and you had nothing; no leads. I… I couldn't watch him kill them." She began to stutter as her voice cracked. "I tried to look away. I tried to close my eyes. But he made me watch as the shot went off. It hit him in his chest and they knew he was dead, but they shot again anyway. They knew he was dead and they still shot again. I begged to save them and he was still going to shoot them. And he wanted me to watch…" There was so much more to say, but she didn't want to say any of it. "And now I've ruined everything. Reid doesn't know how to talk to me anymore. He tries, but it's like he's holding back…" She wanted to cry. "Everyone's holding back, and I did that. I hurt everyone by trying not to." She couldn't look at him. "So no, I'm not fine. How can I be? But I'm as fine as I can be and I'm doing ok."

"You're doing ok. It'll take some time for everyone, but you're safe now. We're all here for you, and you got the world's best little girl. You'll get through this." Coming from him, she actually believed him. She'd get over the Doyle stuff eventually, but he didn't know the half of it, and he didn't know about Hotch. So maybe she wouldn't be ok. She wouldn't know how to be anyway.

"I'll get through it." She mumbled, doing her best to keep the tears at bay.

"We all will." There was more to say and more to do, but in that moment, he just needed to hold her like a child and promise her it would all work out. They would all be stronger in the end. They all had each others' backs. They were a family, and that was what mattered. Through thick and thin, they were there.

With him by her side, as unconventional as it was, she felt safe and like she could finally get a good night's rest. And that was good because she was going to need it. The next few weeks were going to be a challenge. There were going to be many ups and downs. But she had people. She had a new relationship with her mother. There was Clyde and Mike. And she had her team; the best people ever.

On top of that, Morgan would make it his personal mission to make sure Emily and Charlie were taken care of. Clearly, they both needed the help. He didn't know the story with Charlie's dad, but he really didn't care. Whoever he was didn't deserve them if he couldn't bother to show up when needed. But he'd be there for them as long as they'd have him. So they'd move on from it. Slowly, they were. There was already major progress in the sluggish process, but the stepping stones were important. It was about building a solid foundation, not rushing a patch job.

That night, she fell asleep wrapped in her friend's arms, her head resting on his chest as he slept in her bed. And as odd as it was, and as inappropriate it may have seemed to anyone outside of their tight knit group, it was just what she needed. What both she and Charlie needed. The few hours that she was asleep in his arms were completely still; dream free and soothing. She was safe. They didn't even feel the bed dip when Charlie joined them in the early morning trying to finagle her way in between them.

As soon as she was comfortable, situated next to her mother, Morgan's hand then hanging over both of them, she made her presence known. "Mommy, you had a sleepover without me!" She yelled. Both adults' eyes popped open.

"What? Charlie? Are you ok?"She asked concerned, unsure what was happening.

"You had a sleep over without me?"

"A sleep over?" She asked wearily.

"You slept with a boy."

"I what?" She coughed out, nearly chocking on air. It was too early for that. Was she dreaming?

"You had a boy in your bed."

"Oh." Well, at least there was no need for the sex talk just yet.

"Mommy, are we going to have more sleepovers?"

"Sleepovers?"

"Yeah, Derek could sleep in my bed next time. I can sleep with him like grownups do! We can all sleep in your bed again!" She just looked at Morgan pleadingly, begging him to help her out.

"Don't look at me Princess. This one's all yours."

Plopping her head back into the pillow and letting out a groan, she couldn't help but think, "It's going to be a long day."

**First off, sorry for the delay. There was a death in the family and then I just got distracted. **

**So this is a little Charlie goodness and light fluff. Originally I had this chapter spanning over a month, but I wanted some lighthearted stuff before I get into the grittiness that's coming up. I know where this story is going, but I'd like some opinions. Do people want Haley to live? If not, do you want her to die like the show or in some way of my own making?**

**This site is annoying me. Does it bother anyone else that they're starting to remove stories? They can't just up and change the rules. Or they can. I'm sure there were other ways to go about change than taking down people's hard work for some agenda. Stories are rated M and come with warnings for a reason. People can choose to read them or not. Why the sudden interest in removing them?**

**Anyway, now that the rant's over, they hired a new team member for season 8. Jeanne Tripplehorn. I don't know if I spelled that right, but she appears in the premiere. I think I'd rather they work with the spot open rather than a new profiler. But maybe that's because I'm in denial that Emily's gone. **

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**


	19. Strange Happenings

Chapter 19: Strange Happenings

For everyone, everyday came with its own battle. Some were internal. Some were external. Some were easily handled. Some were harder to solve. But the point was that everybody had problems. Those problems, however, were a little harder to figure out for two of the BAU. The rest were just unknowing bystanders to their invisible brewing storm.

For Emily, her world was still unsettled. She was frustrated and angry. Her strength wasn't there and she wasn't herself. Normal had yet to return, and the longer it was away, the less likely the stability would come back. She had to admit, though, whatever else was going on, it was nice to have Morgan around. Waking in his arms wasn't what she had been expecting, but he was a great friend and he offered her the support that she needed. He did whatever he could for her, and, while she hated that she needed to accept it from him or JJ or any of them, she also was glad to have it.

Charlie loved spending time with him too. The look on his face when they had the awkward conversation about sleepovers or when she came bounding into the room in a leotard and tutu like skirt ready for her Sunday morning dance class… They were looks she had seen before. Clyde had them too. It was like a father looking at his child, proud of who they were or embarrassed by the topic or happy just to be around. And Emily loved those looks. But she would've loved them more if they had come from Charlie's actual father.

Morgan was more than happy to do whatever he could for them and he loved putting smiles on their faces. He took every opportunity to do just that; even used his dog to help him out. Emily, though, just wanted things to be normal or to feel normal. But her body wasn't cooperating. She put a plan in motion to change that. But first, was pizza night.

Despite the uncomfortable conversation that begun the day, it turned out to be a good one. Once their little G rated talk was over, Charlie forced them out of bed for waffles. Morgan was kind enough to take the reins and let Emily take it easy.

"Morgan, you're turning my kitchen into a confectionary crime scene." She quipped.

"It's like it snowed flour mommy. Can I play in it?" Charlie asked from her stool as she watched the powdery substance fall all around. It was fun then, but later she'd be annoyed by the mess.

"Absolutely not." She said reproachfully.

"But mommy!" Emily just shook her head and smiled. Most of the time her daughter acted quadruple her age, responsible and mature, and, because of that, sometimes she forgot the girl was only five years old. And when the tantrums or the pesky children's antics come about, Emily took it in stride and amused herself with the rare behavior. It was nice to see her actually act her age every once and a while. Her baby needed to be a baby sometimes and not just her mini me.

"I'm going to have to scrub this place and hose you two down by the time you two children are done in here."

Before Morgan could say anything, Charlie stepped in. "Derek's not a kid, he's old."

"I'm not old." He said, playfully offended.

"Yes you are. You're older than me." Emily sat back and watched the humor unfold.

"I'm older than you so that makes me old?"

"Yup."

"And what about your mom? Is she old?"

She gasped, like it was an outrageous concept. "Mommy is not old! She's beautiful. Not old…"

"But I am?"

"Yes."

Turning to Emily he said, "You see what you did to this kid? No respect… She thinks I'm old. I am not old."

"Sure you're not." He just gave her a look. "Don't give me that. I didn't tell her you were old. I just raised her."

"And that's the problem. She's you, just younger and better looking."

"Hey." He just shrugged and went back to cooking with Charlie.

Breakfast, while a mess, was lovely; like family time just missing a few people. The cleaning that followed, however, Emily was not fond of. Though Morgan, being the gentleman he was, did most of the cleaning telling her he made the mess, he'd pick it up; really, he just knew she was sore from the previous day's activity. She wasn't complaining. They even received a call from the ambassador. That was surprising, but welcomed. Her mother actually was putting in some effort. And that meant something. Maybe she'd get it right with Charlie the way she never did with Emily. It was also nice to know, for a change, her mother's whereabouts and situation. She had arrived in France and settled in and would call again soon. Elizabeth made a point to let Emily know it would be a weekly occurrence. She'd accept that and just hope her mother stayed true to her word.

"Ok, dishes are done, kitchen is clean again… Time for Charlie Bear to go brush her teeth and change for dance." Emily said as she urged the girl off her chair.

"Dance really? But we have a friend over. I don't want to leave him alone."

"I think he'll be fine with me Charlie. Right Derek?"

"There's no one else I'd want to spend the day with."

"Not even me?"

"Maybe you." He said. "Which is why, if mommy says it's ok, I'm going to bring you to dance since she can't and then you can help me shop and we can go take care of Clooney." Charlie just looked to Emily with hopeful eyes, Derek giving her the same puppy dog look.

Nodding, Emily said. "Ok Charlie, brush your teeth, change, and don't forget your slippers and jazz shoes. Then Derek will take you." As soon as she was out of sight she turned to her friend and really looked at him. "Thank you for doing this. You didn't have to, but thank you."

"I wanted to. Besides, who else is going to grocery shop with me? You?"

"Thank you." She seemed to be thanking him a lot lately.

"You're welcome."

Happily, Charlie came back, dressed in her favorite purple leotard and pink dress up tutu. Emily sent her back to change and she came back with the black dance skirt instead; no actual tutu that time, but a smile on her face. After kissing her mom goodbye, she took Derek's hand and said, "Come on. We have to be there before the clock says 1, 1, 0, 0."

"Let's go kid." He said lovingly gripping her hand a little tighter and escorting her out, a simple wave to Emily as they parted.

Emily took that alone time and used it to her advantage taking a much needed steaming shower to ease her body and mind; more so the latter which was still running nonstop. That was the way of her mind. It was overactive and never ceasing. All she could think as the hot spray hit her body was that she needed to get her life back; to be able to do things with Charlie again. She wanted to be able to take her daughter to the zoo or out shopping. She wanted to do the simple things like chasing her around the house or pushing her on the swings without the pure exhaustion and pains that followed or to leave the house alone without feeling unsafe.

At some moments it felt like her life was back to where she was after she returned from her undercover work. She had to get reacclimated again; to readjust and relearn the routine. And, given everything she went through with Doyle, she was still a little paranoid, still looking over her shoulder and taking extra security precautions. Her alarm was always set, doors bolted with new and excessive locks even though her tormentor was gone, and she slept with a bat under her bed always within reach just in case. Her gun was always locked up, for Charlie's safety, but she needed to feel that there was always something there if she needed it.

Her career, her safety, Charlie's safety… it all led to her hyper vigilance, but she was living in an extreme. Normally she was just aware and observant, but she was still on overdrive. However, it was time to get back on track. If not for her, then for Charlie and her job... She missed her job. It would take time to regain her strength and she would have to push herself passed her limits, but she'd make it happen. She had to.

A few hours later, after two at dance, half an hour at Morgan's place taking care of Clooney, and another hour or so grocery shopping, they returned. Emily helped Morgan put the food away and set up the countertops while Charlie changed out of her dance outfit and into play clothes to dirty up while making the dough.

"Oh, Charlie's going to yell at you." Emily teased using a sing songy voice.

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Charlie is so going to yell at you."

"What? Why?" He seemed genuinely upset by the prospect and it only fueled Emily's teasing.

"You moved her chair. Nobody moves her chair."

"So I'll move it back. Which chair?"

"It won't matter, she'll know…"

"How? How will she know?" He asked. "Did she inherit the Prentiss ways? Is she a little bit of a neat freak like her mama?" She wasn't truly that bad. Yes, Emily liked things orderly and messes sometimes bothered her, but she could tolerate them too. All she asked for was an organized mess. That wasn't an issue.

"I resent that, but you think I'm bad… Wait until you see her. She's worse."

"Is that even possible?"

"Wait and see…" She teased one last time.

And as expected, Emily was proved right. Charlie noticed the chair was moved right away and she was not happy. So unhappy, in fact, that she lectured Morgan on the topic of respecting other's property and she guilt tripped him by over playing her discomfort, pretending to dislike every position, shifting the chair a fraction of an inch every so often, releasing over exaggerated sighs, and changing her position back and forth. It worked just like she knew it would and Morgan was wrapped around her finger all night. Emily was going to write that little tactic off as something she picked up from Garcia… and, though she'd like to pretend it didn't, maybe her too.

They had fun listening to Charlie bark orders. "You have to do it harder, over and over until it's all mixed. It won't taste good if you don't do it right."

"She's a regular Emily isn't she? You gone and turned her into a little you just twice as harsh on me." He said to her.

"You love it. We keep you on your toes." That they did. They kept him on his toes unsuspecting of what came next, and made him a better person; a more forgiving person. It was Emily's protective will and Charlie's childhood innocence that, ultimately, made him forgive Emily in the first place. The betrayal he felt and the obvious deceit wore heavy on him, but were forgiven because, no matter how horrible it felt and what it made him think, there were better things to focus on and more important reasons for being there for them. So, he'd be a little wearier, keep it all with him a little longer, and take things a little more to heart, but Emily was absolved of her sins. They helped him see her reasons; reasons he couldn't refute. Yeah, it hurt that she didn't tell him and it bothered him that she slept with the guy for a profile, but that was in the past and her actions after that were about protection, and that was what was important. They were safe and happy, and that allowed him to be there with them.

The rest of the night was pretty simple and easy going. They made and ate their pizza creations, much to Charlie's delight. While doing so, Charlie tried to convince Emily to get a dog because, "Clooney needs a friend and Derek's our friend, so the new dog could be Clooney's friend too." They had to hand it to the girl. Her logic seemed to work, but Emily wasn't ready to bite; not yet anyway.

Morgan stayed for clean up, even made a game of it, but left early so Emily could get Charlie ready for school in the morning and he could get done whatever needed doing before another early day at the BAU. He left around seven, telling Emily that, if there was no case, he'd be back Tuesday to finalize plans for her condo and pick up a key so he could get started. She made him promise to bring her some paperwork and files from the office. It took some groveling and, learning from Charlie's success, guilt tripping, but she managed to convince him and get him to promise. Her antics were probably a little childish, but she was bored all alone, laid up on the couch reading and rereading the same old books. And when she tried to get JJ to bring her the work, she got nowhere; with Dave too. But she was happy he caved because she needed it to keep her sane. Too much time doing nothing and her hands would've become instruments of evil. She would've been tempted to use some of the hacks Garcia taught her and end up in jail for some sort of criminal misconduct. That would've sucked.

Once he was gone, bath time came and went, and, before they knew it, it was bedtime. It was a new story for a new night as she tucked Charlie into her bed. The next day was when things started to change for Emily; nothing drastic, just the implementation of retraining her body. Emily woke earlier than she had in a while, slowly trying to ease herself back into those 5 AM alarm and random case calls in the middle of the night. Although still abnormally tired, she forced herself out of bed and just wandered around the house; no destination. The movement, she thought, would help loosen her body up and start to aid in the strength issue. It was a slow build, but she'd do whatever she could to add to her stamina and endurance from flexing to standing on her tip toes; whatever might help. She did what she could while doing the menial housework like cooking or dishes, and she did it all before waking Charlie at 6:45. With breakfast on the table, Emily continued her wandering. Each step told her body exactly why she wasn't doing much before, but her perseverance overpowered her logic and won out. Hurt be damned.

By 7:30, Charlie was in her uniform, fed, brushed, and out of the door on her way to school with Sarah. Alone again, Emily decided it was time to venture out of the house without supervision. She could go for a simple walk. The tiny taste of fresh air she got when Derek took her to the doctor made her want to push herself. She could do it. She wouldn't get very far, but she could do it.

Still in the cold winter month of January, she was sure to bundle up in an oversized sweater and jacket. There was no need to get sick on top of everything else. Coughing would be enough to kill her and her sore ribs. The cold air felt foreign on her pale skin as she stepped out onto her picturesque street. It was empty, the neighbors off at work or wherever. Never had such a simple, short walk made her feel so winded and hopeless. If she couldn't even make it the whole block to the end of her street, how could she expect to ever get back to normal?

The answer was, over time. Walking became part of her new everyday over the following two weeks. They were packed two weeks filled with visits and what not. Morgan stayed true to his word and, with no case, came over that Tuesday. And he remembered her files, which made her happy and helped her stick to a firm schedule. Mornings and nights belonged to Charlie getting her ready for the day, to do homework, to just spend time with her, but after she was off at school, Emily would walk for as long as she could and go as far as her feet allowed before returning home. She got a little further every day. A few hours after that were set aside for rest, which really meant working vigorously on the cases and paperwork. She was no slacker; always an overachiever, even in less than stellar health. Tuesdays and Thursdays become double days. As Charlie went off to dance for a few hours, Emily would go for a second walk pushing herself more, going faster and harder. Sometimes, on days when Charlie didn't have any activities, if the weather was warm enough, she'd ask Charlie to join her. It wasn't much, but it was something. Her ribs were still battered and aching and the braces she used only helped so much, not to mention the excruciating throbbing of her underused muscles, but she was determined to push through it. No pain, no gain… And there was a fair amount of both; more so the pain than the gain, but it was happening.

Morgan made a habit of coming over as often as possible to hang out with them a little then disappear into the basement. Emily questioned him about it. It was her house, what was he doing? But every time she tried to ask anything or attempted to go down there and see what the noise was, she was blocked by either him or Charlie, and he had the nerve to change the locks. Telling her it was for her own good. She didn't believe him, but she quickly got over it. She trusted him enough to know he wouldn't do anything she wouldn't approve of, and maybe she was changing in her old age, but she gave him free reign, so it was ok.

However, Charlie was not on her side. "Don't you love me anymore?" Emily questioned Charlie after another attempt to see what was happening. Obviously she had a pretty good idea of what was going on. There was definitely some building and tools being used, but it still could've been a number of things and she was more than curious.

"I love you lots!" The girl responded.

"Then why can't I go down there with you? Why won't you let me by?" For such a tiny little thing, Charlie sure knew how to be a stone wall. Emily wanted to see, but she wasn't willing to topple down the stairs or risk injury to either of them to do it.

"I want you to come down… But you can't." Emily just gave her a questioning look that Charlie probably shouldn't have understood, but did. "Because it's a surprise mommy! If you go down there, you'll see and it will all be ruined." Her daughter and her logic…

"I thought you were on my side." Emily huffed like a petulant child on the verge of a tantrum. All that was missing was the foot stomp.

"I am on your side mommy." She said perkily. "But it's a surprise still. That means you can't know, but you'll like it." She assured her mother. "I promise you'll like it. I know you will." To add insult to injury, Charlie threw in those big brown, pleading, doe eyes that were so impossible to refuse. Charlie knew she was a sucker for those and knew to use those to her advantage. "Please, please mommy… Don't go down there until it's all done!"

"Ok, ok, you win." She conceded. How could she not? She just couldn't resist that face. That same face must've been how she got away with so much as a child. Those poor nannies; they didn't know what hit them. "I won't go down there until you or Derek give me permission." Charlie did an excited clap. "But, you can't go down there by yourself anymore. You can go down with Derek, but you can only stay down there for a little while."

"Ok."

"Good, now tell me what you were doing down there." She had to try one last time. Charlie wouldn't do it though.

Every free moment, Derek was down there or finishing her condo. And she was grateful, happy to have a friend like him, but she felt bad. She asked him what he was doing with his other properties and why he wasn't working on those and he just answered, "These things need to be done; the sooner the better. Mine have no timeline." At one point, he had others helping him too. She didn't know how much help Garcia would be down there unless they were working on wiring or the like, but when Charlie came up wearing more paint than clothes, yellow paint Emily noted, she assumed they were having a painting party without her. JJ, Rossi, and Reid helped out too; at both places. And Emily hated being out of the loop, but if ever there was a group top trust, it was them.

Hotch, though, was the only one that never visited or called. With him, it was all radio silence. She didn't know what to expect. If he was going to try and rectify his choices, she should've heard from him already. But there was nothing. It was something she tried hard to ignore, but just couldn't. He was her boss. He was her friend. At one point, he was her lover. And most importantly, Aaron was her daughter's father. How could she just forget about him when he was always with her through their daughter? Whatever, she just did her best to box it up. But that compartment was getting awfully full. And she couldn't sort through it until everything else was figured out.

Things really didn't start to get weird until the end of January. Emily was getting stronger, pushing herself more. She went from walking to power walking to slight jogging. It was more than her body could handle, but she needed to do it. The follow up with her doctor didn't leave her happy. They wanted her to rest, to convalesce, to take her pain meds and just do as told. But she wasn't progressing enough, no matter what she was told. So it was time to run. That was the next logical step.

The running would get her mind off of Hotch and help her improve. It had to. For some reason, that Friday, her thoughts were particularly focused on Hotch. There was no real reason, but everything seemed to go back to him. The face Charlie made reminded her of him. The way she said something was just so him. So everything made her thoughts of him magnify. Why did he have to be such an ass?

"Don't focus on him." She told herself. She just needed to get out and run. It would help. She kept assuring herself of that.

Garcia made plans with Charlie, which worked out well for Emily. So as Garcia took Charlie ice skating, Emily got ready for her run. As she watched Garcia's car pull away, Emily saw that car again. She didn't know whose it was or which family it belonged to, but she knew she saw it all the time. It was odd though. That car was unfamiliar to her, it was only around in the afternoon, and it only stayed for a short time. That seemed strange to her. She saw it almost every day when Charlie left for dance, sometimes when she came home from school, and sometimes she saw it on weekends too.

If that wasn't strange enough, sometimes, she swore she felt like she was being watched. She chalked it up to the paranoia she knew she was still experiencing, but it was more than that. It always felt like there was someone else around. But it only got weirder. When she stepped outside for her run, Garcia's car just turning out off of her street, she looked over to the car. There was someone in there. Normally, she never bothered to really look. She never cared enough to do more than a quick glance, but something told her to look that time. The car was started, exhausts going, and she was curious. Who was it?

The silhouette looked familiar as she moved a little closer, but she couldn't make out the face. It was far enough away to be nothing but a blurry picture through the glass. As she moved closer and as Garcia's car just drove out of view, the car sped away. How was that normal? Emily just had a feeling about that car. It wasn't rational, but she felt it didn't belong there, like a surprise visitor that didn't know how to make their presence known. It just seemed to linger. An entity of unknown origin stalking in the shadows… Was that what it was? Was she seeing things where there was nothing to see? She didn't know. She really didn't know.

She had to shake off the feeling. No one was watching her. No one was spying. It was a good neighborhood. People didn't do that there. Yes, she knew everything she was telling herself was false. It happened everywhere. But she had to believe it. Her paranoia would turn it into something uncontrollable if she didn't. So as the car sped away, following in the same direction that her daughter just went, Emily tried not to think too much of it. They were fine. She was perfectly safe with Garcia. Right?

"It's nothing. Just stop thinking about it." She had to believe it was nothing. In the future, she'd pay more attention to the car, but right then, there was nothing she could really do, but run. And that was what she needed. Testing her body, pushing her limits; that was what she needed to focus on.

But as she began running, hoping to make it the full mile before turning around, her mind went into a torrid frenzy. Each step brought out a new feeling or a new thought on subjects old and new. But, even though the point was to forget, Hotch was on her mind more than before she started. She heard little about him from her friends. When they came to visit, she'd hear little snippets here and there. He had been staying later at work and coming in earlier. He seemed to be unfocused at times, but always there when he needed to be. There were some cases that he seemed to go all out on, making them more personal. Morgan seemed to be getting the brunt of his outbursts when he had them. She didn't know if she wanted to know more. But at the same time, she wanted to know if there was a good reason he never got in touch with her.

All of that was on her mind, but the thoughts that she could never get rid of were ones that involved Charlie. He walked away. He didn't want that life. He didn't want to experience the wonder that was Charlotte Prentiss. And she had yet to figure out what to tell her daughter when the time came. She couldn't figure out if he meant everything he said or if it was a heat of the moment thing. But if it was an in the moment thing, wouldn't he have tried something? Anything? Was it possible for him to really not care? And if he didn't care, then why did he take that picture? Why would he do any of what he did?

So many thoughts… all of which were driving her crazy. Her mind couldn't wrap around the thoughts and every conversation she had about Charlie with Hotch was replaying in her mind. The one at the hospital… The one after New Year's… And then she thought about all the good things she said about him over the years. She believed them to be true. Were they still? Did she think the same good things? Did the present change the past? But most of all, she wanted to know what to feel. What would Charlie feel? Sometimes she just felt like crying.

"Don't cry about what happened yesterday. It'll only hold you back from the good things in life." She couldn't remember who said that or where she heard it, but it applied. She couldn't cry. She wouldn't. She wasted enough tears over him throughout the years, and most of them were her fault, about her own shortcomings where he was involved, but enough was enough. This one was on him.

She hadn't even realized she went further than she wanted to until she stopped. And then it all caught up with her, the emotion she was feeling took over, but the adrenaline of the run kept the pain at bay. She'd be feeling it later. Right then it was just mind over matter and getting herself home. And once she did, the runner's high, which he shouldn't have had, starting to wear off, she felt like collapsing. Her legs felt like Jell-O for all the wrong reasons and her arms felt like cement bricks holding her down.

The run was a bad idea… a terrible idea. All her injuries felt new again and she swore she felt a pull where her stitches recently came out. She didn't know if she could make it up the stairs but a scalding bath with soothing oils was all she could think about. Would it help? She didn't know, but she hoped it did.

Putting the tub as hot as it would go, she stripped herself from the layers that covered her and practically fell into the steaming tub. Relaxing would either be the best or worst idea she could've had, but the heat made her feel wonderful. Sinking deeper into the oversized bear claw bathtub, Emily let her mind ease and the tension melt. If she could just live in there without drowning, the world would've been a better place. She didn't have the energy, though to do much more than lie there.

At some point, after a fair amount of time had passed, Emily attempted to ease her way out. It was like it finally hit her. She was hoping she didn't actually push herself as hard as she believed, but apparently, it was worse than she thought. Not an inch and she was groaning in pain. Like Doyle just kicked her in the ribs or took a swing at her again; her body felt broken and abused. Only, she was the abuser. And to think, she wanted to start actual training again. She was very glad she didn't, but she still wasn't getting out of there. So she just submerged herself once more, allowing her body to prune further in the cooling water. All she could do was stay.

"Mommy, we're home!" She eventually heard Charlie calling and, again, tried getting out.

"Gumdrop, Little E here wants her mother!" She should've answered, should've just said she'll be right there, but instead, tried to get up once again. This time she made it half way, using the porcelain edge as leverage. And then, she slipped right back into the water.

"Ow…" She nearly cried as her already sore ribs bruised against the hard side. "Son of a…"

"Emily!"

"Damn it!" They must have heard her plop.

"I'm ok!" She attempted to appease them as she tried to keep the tears that threatened away. It really did hurt.

"Mommy! Where are you?"

"I'm in the bathroom sweetie." Her words were hurried as she heard the hasty, heavy footsteps approaching. Did she lock the door? She really didn't want to be seen by her friend naked in the bath.

"Are you ok in there?" The quiet voice was accompanied by a timid knock.

"I'm in the bath Charlie Bear. I'll be out soon. Why don't you thank Penelope for taking you out and tell her what a good time you had before changing into pajamas?"

"But mommy…"

Her voice even foreign to her, she said, "Please baby, I'll be out soon and you can tell me all about your day." Emily vaguely heard the muffled voices through the thick door before another knock sounded.

"Are you ok Em?"

"I'm fine Garcia. Did she behave?"

"She's a little angel…. We heard something fall Em. Are you ok in there? Really ok and not just Emily ok?"

"I really am fine. I… I just over did it today and had a little trouble getting out of the bath. What time is it anyway?"

"Almost seven."

"Crap."

"What is it?"

"I've just been in here a little longer than expected." Like an hour or so longer than the hour or so she was planning on spending in there. No wonder the water felt so cold.

"How long is that sugar?"

"Oh, you know, not long."

"Are you going to come out?"

"Eventually."

"Are you decent enough for me to come in?"

"No, not really. Bubbles fade. Towel's on the other side of the room."

"Alrighty then… So, what's with the midday bath anyway? Bad day?"

"Like I said, I just overdid it a little and thought this would help."

"Did it?"

"No… Yes… I don't know, a little I guess."

"How bad does overdoing it mean? And what exactly did you overdo?"

"I just did a little more of the exercises the doctor recommended than I should have." Not a total lie…

"And now you can't get up can you?"

"Not really."

"See, this is why I drug you. You're so much easier to get to cooperate that way and I bet you feel better too."

"Yes, I would, because I'd be high."

"Ok. If I promise to keep my eyes shut will you let me help? Something tells me you look like a shriveled old grandma in there and Charlie shouldn't see you struggling so much."

"Door's unlocked Garcia." There was no point in arguing.

"That was easier than I thought." She said as she made her way in, one hand covering her eyes and the other out in zombie stance to keep her from walking into anything.

"Towel's on your left about two feet in front of you on top of the sink. I must've forgotten it there before getting in." As much as she hated both asking for and accepting help, Emily really needed it. Too much longer in that bath and there would be more water in her body than around it, and if Garcia wanted to help, she should let her. So, Garcia blindly followed Emily's instructions, walking toward her and extending her hand to help her friend up.

"On the count of three." She said before counting and pulling a moaning Emily out of the water then handing her the towel.

"I'm decent now." Emily assured her. Even with help it felt terrible getting up. Yet, she played it off like she always did and told Garcia she was perfectly fine and was sure to rest. The rest of the weekend would be used for just that.

Being the friend she was, she waited until Emily was dressed and in bed with a small snack, because she was sure Emily neglected to eat, plenty to drink, and her bottle of pills all in reaching distance. "No getting out of bed unless necessary." Garcia made her promise, and agreeing was the only thing to allow Garcia peace of mind.

After saying her goodbyes, Penelope told Charlie to, "Take care of your mother. I'll call you chickadees in the morning to check on the sweetest candy morsels I've ever known." With her gone, and hours gone, it was actually bedtime and they weren't hesitant to abide by it. There'd be no staying up that night.

So they curled up in Emily's bed. Charlie didn't want to be without Emily and Emily didn't want to, no couldn't, get up. Thus, her room seemed practical. Psychologists probably wouldn't condone such behavior, but it worked for them. Why change a good thing?

"Will you read me a book tonight?"

"A book? You don't want one of my stories?" She shook her head.

"This book is special."

"Special? Why?"

"Because it is." She said defensively. She was told not to tell. She couldn't tell.

"Ok, ok, go get it and I'll read it to you." Emily surrendered.

Charlie returned with an older looking book, a purple ribbon haphazardly strewn about it. "Read this one to me." She said as she hopped back on the bed and handed Emily the book.

"_The Velveteen Rabbit_?" Emily asked before carefully flipping through the pages. It was a first edition; one that did not come from her collection. "Charlie, where did you get this?" There was a sense of surprise and concern in her voice. There were too many possibilities, most of which she didn't want to believe possible. The book was hard to find, extremely hard…

"I uh… I…" Emily had never seen her daughter so flustered with such an easy question. But Charlie knew she couldn't tell. She said she wouldn't. She promised she wouldn't.

"_Thank you." She said happily, carefully wrapping the book in her sweater and putting it in her bag. _

"_You're very welcome. Just don't tell your mom I gave this to you." He told her. Emily couldn't know._

"_Why not?"_

"_Just promise me ok?"_

"_I promise. But what am I going to tell her?"_

"_Tell her you got it from a friend."_

"_I did get it from a friend."_

_He smiled, a hand gently running down her cheek, "Then you won't have to lie to her."_

"Charlie?" Emily was still waiting for the answer.

"I… I got it from a friend." She definitely got her mother's evasive skills. They just needed a little practice.

"This is a very expensive book Charlie."

"I know." Charlie interrupted her mother. "It's a first one thing like on your shelf."

"It is. Who gave it to you?" It was stern. She needed answers.

"I told you mommy. A friend gave it to me." She was playing dumb. He was a friend…

"Which friend?"

Shrugging, she answered, "I don't remember."

"Well, try. Ok?"

"Are you mad at me?" She asked with trembling lips.

"No. I'm not mad. I just need to know. So think about it."

"I will." She said reluctantly. "Will you still read it to me?"

"Yes, I'll still read it to you."

Emily did read her the book, some of it, handling it with the utmost care. If a friend really did give it to her, well, that was one savvy 6 year old. How did they track it down? And how did they pay for it? But all that was the least of her problems. Her main priority was figuring out why Charlie wasn't telling the truth. Why was she dodging?

And for the next two weeks, that was what she tried to figure out. Her life was slowly getting back on track. After overdoing it on her own, she signed up for and started physical therapy, still doing a little extra on her own. Morgan finished up her condo and she put it on the market. There were already a few bites, but her realtor advised she hold out. There was more money to be had with that view. And, the basement surprise was almost finished. Morgan promised that one more quick shopping trip and a few more days then it would be all set. So things were good, or better. But even so, there were a lot of strange things happening and she was trying to decode them. Starting with that car, she was going to find answers. It kept showing up, but after that little almost run in with the driver, they started parking somewhere else. Instead of by the neighbor's next to her house, the navy car was parked further away, more toward the middle of the street, presumably, watching from a distance.

She really hoped she wasn't just being paranoid, or maybe she hoped she was. She didn't want to be watched. But, on the chance that she wasn't just being suspicious, she placed a call. Her first thought would've been to go to Garcia, but she already put them all through so much and, if it was something, even if it wasn't, Garcia was sure to overreact. So she called her other connection. "Hello Darling. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Clyde, how are you?"

"How am I? How are you?"

"We just talked Clyde. I'm doing fine."

"Is this a social call, I'm needed in the field."

"I don't want to keep you. It will only take a second."

"What is it? Another madman out to get you?"

"Don't joke about that. Not yet…" She didn't know if it'd ever be funny. "Can you run a plate for me?"

"Someone following you?"

"No, no it's just… Someone… I've seen the car around and just want to know who my neighbor's are."

"And knocking on the door with a muffin basket for a friendly hello wouldn't work?"

"No."

"What about your team? Why not ask them?"

"I'm not in a place to ask them personal favors."

"But you are with me?"

"I know that just like if you'd asked me for something I'd do it, that you'd try to do whatever you could for me."

"Give me what you know." She gave him everything she collected; plate number, make, and model. "Is this a time sensitive matter or can it wait until the morning?"

"Morning here or there?"

"There. It's already very early in the morning here."

"That's fine. Where are you anyway?"

"Kiev."

"Ah, the good old Ukraine." She teased knowing the last time they were there together he ended up hurt and disgruntled with the whole country. "I don't want to keep you any longer. Just let me know when you get the information and Charlie wants to know when you're coming for a visit."

"I was planning a surprise visit when Charlotte was on vacation. Next week right?"

"Yes she has a week off."

"I don't know if we'll be done by then. Tell her soon. Expect an email in the morning."

"Thanks Clyde."

"Tomorrow."

"Ok."

The next morning, there was an email waiting for her just like he said. The car was a rental that belonged to some nonexistent male. She tried not to read too much into that either. But really, why would some random guy rent a car and just sit on her street for short periods of time? There was definitely something there, but she wasn't quite ready to put the pieces together. She did, however, have some theories. She also knew that, as of that moment, if the person was even watching them, it was a passive threat; not even really threatening. He just sat there.

The great book debacle had yet to be solved. Two weeks later and all she got from Charlie was that a friend gave it to her; not which friend, just a friend. She was seriously questioning whether or not to interrogate her daughter. But then, it was curious. A parent surely would've known about the purchase or a missing collectible, but she hadn't heard anything about it. So was it really a big deal? She didn't know… Honestly she didn't.

There seemed to be a lot she didn't know. She didn't know what to do about the faceless figure in the car. She didn't know what to do about her daughter's untruthfulness. She didn't know when things would be right again. But she did know that the day's troubles could wait a little longer. It was Valentine's Day and they had a tradition to uphold. While JJ had a romantic day with Will and Henry spent some time with Uncle Spencer, and while Morgan spent the night with the flavor of the week, and while Garcia got all cuddly with her nerd, Emily would spend the day with Charlie, trying to make it a good one for her daughter. And since it was a Sunday, they had all day to celebrate.

Finally reacquainted with the early alarm, Emily got up at five and baked. She didn't do it often, not from scratch, and usually she'd wait for Charlie to wake up to help, but Emily wanted to surprise her daughter with sweets for breakfast. White cake with chocolate frosting, which was Charlie's favorite, and a raspberry filling topped with heart shaped confetti sprinkles. That was the Valentine's Day special. They started that the previous year.

So once that was all done, Emily waited for her munchkin to march down the stairs. It really didn't take long. Wearing her starred nightgown, holding onto her monkey, and rubbing her eyes, she came down. Without saying anything, Charlie just walked around until she found her mother sitting in the living room and curled up next to her, resting her head in Emily's lap.

"Morning."

"Mmmm, morning mommy."

"Do you know what day it is?"

"It's the weekend." She said.

"Yes, it is the weekend." She affirmed. "Do you know what else it is?"

"No."

"Are you hungry?"

"Uh huh."

"Breakfast is on the table."

"It is?"

"Go see what it is."

Immediately perking up, she leapt from the couch and raced into the kitchen. "Mommy!" She yelled. Emily had trailed behind her and watched as Charlie discovered her surprise. A small cartoon decorated box of chocolates, a kid's Valentine, and a bundle of lollipops adorned the table next to her cupcake. "You made them again!"

"I did."

"I forgot it was Valentine's Day. Happy Valentine's Day mommy!"

"Happy Valentine's Day Charlie Bear." She said as Charlie gave her a hug.

"I made you a card. It's in my room. Can I go get it?"

"Go ahead, and then you can have your breakfast…" Cupcake and an apple; one balances out the other…

Charlie gave her the card, which Emily loved, and they ate the yummy creation. And the rest of the morning and well into the afternoon was spent doing most of Charlie's favorite things. The snow was all gone and the weather was nice, so they played on the jungle gym. They watched a movie and read. They drew together. It was an easy, fun day, for the holiday that really wasn't, but she still wanted her little girl to make the most of it.

It was a long day, though, and they were just about to settle into a movie marathon; two movies really. Emily was going to order take out and let Charlie pick any two that she wanted to watch. But just as that was about to happen, there was a knock at the door and the chime of the doorbell. Everyone she knew was busy that day and she hadn't ordered the food yet. Who could it have been?

"Door mommy! Can I get it?"

"Not this time. Go get the movies and wash your dirty little hands or no popcorn for you."

"Fine." Charlie said disappointedly.

Watching the girl dash off, Emily remained unmoving. But another ring of the door bell reminded her of where she was going. "I'm coming!" She yelled as she made her way to the front of the house. Looking through the peep hole, she couldn't really make out the face. Deciding to just see who it was, she opened the door and greeted the visitor with a friendly, "Hello."

"Emily Prentiss?" There was no doubt at all that the woman standing there was indeed the one he was looking for.

"Yes, can I help you?" There was something about that man. She knew him from somewhere.

"I'm…"

"I know you." She interrupted and looked the visitor up and down curiously. "I saw your picture. You're…"

**I forgot to say it last chapter, but thank you my amazing readers and reviewers who brought me to over 100 reviews. It makes me feel appreciated and makes me feel accomplished. So thank you again.**

**And greengirl82, I don't really write M stories so I'm not worried about that, but thank you for the other site suggestions. I might check those out anyway just to see what's out there. HGRHfan35, thanks for your site suggestions too. **

**This chapter was going to include Hotch's point of view too, but I wanted to expand the Emily stuff and leave it on a little bit of a cliff hanger. Assuming I don't write too much, next chapter will reveal the mystery visitor, give Hotch's side of things and then, at the very least, a little Hotch/Prentiss interaction. I have some great, or not so great, Hotch/Prentiss moments planned for the future.**

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**


	20. The Younger Hotchner

Chapter 20: The Younger Hotchner

Every day after work since their talk, or since he cooled down after their talk, he'd drive by their house. Hotch would pull into the very same open spot on the side of the street and watch; just hoping for a tiny glimpse of her before he went on about his evening. He would stay for as long as he could, sometimes hours. But he had to. It was necessary.

He developed a sudden interest in voyeurism. His new hobby was surveillance. He found a new passion in photography. He had called her the unsub, compared her to the evil they faced, but he was the one becoming someone they hunted. He was fixated on her, on both hers. The Prentisses were always on his mind. The older for one reason, the younger for reasons of her own. No matter what he had done and what was said, he had to be a part of their lives, even if it was from a distance.

If he got out of work early, he'd get there in time to see her come home from school. Usually, though, the work schedule he made for himself didn't allow that. Mostly, he watched through the shadows as she left the house with her little bag, her body adorned in tights and skirt and, what he imagined to be, a leotard under her jacket. She was beautiful. He could never doubt that, never dispute that.

Honestly, he didn't know what he could dispute. He still wasn't sure what he did or what he was doing. Nothing made sense, but there he was. Watching and waiting and watching and waiting… That was him every day outside their house like a stakeout, fully equipped with food and coffee and anything he might've needed. It was crazy. Logically, he knew that, but he actually learned quite a bit more than he was expecting.

Charlie went to Penbrook Academy with Henry. They were in the same class, a fact he knew before he knew where he even the school. It was a private school. But not one of those uptight, stuck up, upper class, need to take a second mortgage out on the house just to pay for it, kind of schools. No, it was a respectable institution. When Jack was younger, he and Haley considered that school too. But the school he went to was where his friends were so they went with that.

And he learned she was a dancer. She danced very well. Ashamed as he was to admit it, he followed her to a class before; several times actually. Every Tuesday and Thursday from 4 to 6 his little girl was a dancer. And he loved every minute of it. It was like watching Jack play soccer or coaching him with Rossi. He was just a proud parent. Watching her made him feel proud. His daughter was talented, had a grace he never had. And it made him feel worse that he didn't know that before. He never gave himself the chance to learn that.

The feeling was a whole new level of bad. He could've known. If he handled things better he would've known. He definitely should've known. If he had just listened, if he had just heard her out before reacting, if he had just put away his male ego and thought things through, then he could've been in the studio watching like the other parents instead of stalking through the window.

The sweetest little girl on the planet was part his. She was everything he wanted in a daughter; everything he ever imagined her being and so much more. And still, he turned her away. Why? Why did he turn her away? Why would he want to ignore who she was to him, who he was to her? He obviously didn't really want that. He obviously didn't want the distance he put between them because she was all he could think about. Was he taking his, possibly slightly misplaced, anger with Emily out on his innocent child? How could he do that? He was her dad and he was letting her down. He wouldn't do that to Jack. Whatever the circumstance, he'd be there for Jack. So how could he do that to Charlie? How could he let her down? How could he fail her so?

His life had changed dramatically since learning about Charlie's existence, and even more so after learning of her paternity. And it changed in all the wrong ways. He was doing everything and being everything he never wanted to be; doing what he never thought he would and, maybe, that was why he became the stalker he was. Being there in any capacity, even an illegal one, was better than not at all. A passive role off the map was better than no role at all. So he did what needed to be done.

Chalk it up to knowing the way an unsub's mind worked or putting himself in their shoes, but Hotch rented a car for his project. He didn't want to be caught. Using a fake ID equipped with a faceless name, he went into a dealership and came out with a temporary, new, proxy vehicle paid for in cash only. If he was going to stalk, _watch_, them, he was going to do it right. Obviously, his way wasn't right. If he had to go out of his way to cover his tracks and hide in dark corners, it wasn't right. And if he was caught, there'd be hell to pay. What he was doing went against everything he believed in; everything the job stood for. But none of that was enough to deter him. He needed to do it. He had to.

But it was distracting and all consuming. Most of his free time was spent doing things he shouldn't have. And thinking over the month or so he had been doing it, he had to question if it was worth it. Was it? He learned more. He got to know his daughter. But he never actually got to talk to her or be with her. Watching from afar wasn't all it was cracked up to be. In fact, most of the time it just made him more frustrated. She was right there in reaching distance, but just far away enough that he wasn't really a part of it.

Needless to say, it was taking a toll on him. He watched members of the team come and go from the house. Reid was finally getting over the near loss and deceit. He was dealing with her, being with Emily more. Dave made a few appearances as well. He was always the father figure to Emily though, so that was understandable. JJ and Garcia were her best friends. Of course they'd be there. There was never any doubt in his mind that, while they might've been upset, they wouldn't stay away for long; especially not when Charlie seemed to be forgiveness gold. She just attracted all people all the time. She was that kind of girl; extremely lovable and fun and friendly and perfect. It still pained him to admit it, but all that was just like Emily too. No one could resist her, except for him apparently. But even he was having trouble keeping his distance.

He was fine with all of those visits though. It was Morgan he was not ok with. He seemed to be spending way too much time there. Way too much… It made him angry. Not being part of that life made him angry. But seeing Morgan there doing things he should've been doing made it worse, only aggravating the situation further. He watched his colleague play with **his** daughter. Through the opened curtains he saw them all cook together. He wouldn't have been surprised if he helped put her to bed at night. He was doing **his** job. He didn't like it; not at all. Way too much time was spent fraternizing; the three of them together like the family they weren't. He was being replaced in the family he never got to be a part of. When the hell did that happen? How the hell did he let that happen?

In hindsight, it made sense that he had a very short fuse with the team, more specifically Derek. Every late report, every second he was tardy, any back talk or smartass comments… Usually he'd let it go, but he had to get his anger out somehow. So, he snapped. Sometimes it was just in his head; tirades about this or that running on repeat. Other times he'd actually yell. He'd say none of what he wanted; mostly he'd just reprimand Morgan for a minor infraction. But the point was that he was volatile. He didn't know how much more he could take before he really lost it and did something he couldn't take back.

It was safe to say his life was in disarray. He'd leave work later at night or slip out of the office to see as much of Charlie before returning to the office and working on cases until well after midnight. He'd usually wake up and head straight to work, no leisure time unless Jack was around or he was working on his new hobby; the Prentiss watch. It wasn't much of a life. It wasn't what he wanted, but maybe he realized what he wanted too late.

And he'd have to stop the voyeurism. He was almost caught. He couldn't let that happen. He didn't think Emily noticed the car. She had other things to worry about. A random car in a neighborhood she was still fairly new to shouldn't have even registered on her radar, but she took notice. He'd never forget that day either. The ignition was still on. He bought something for Charlie. The plan was to just leave the box on the doorstep and go, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. And then Charlie left with Garcia and Emily looked like she was heading out too. So he figured he'd be able to do it once the house was empty. Again, that didn't work out.

He was being a coward; he knew. He wasn't much of himself lately. The whole situation threw him for a loop and altered his character; thus, he took the coward's way out. Instead of dealing with Emily and making things right, he pulled surveillance on them. Instead of saying he wanted to buy something special for his daughter… Well, he took creepy to a new level. Once Emily saw the car and headed toward it, he sped away. His initial thought was just to get out of there as fast as possible, not to follow Garcia. But that was exactly what he did. He just left, looking back in the rearview mirror to see a slightly confused Emily left behind.

By that time, he was sure he lost his mind. Seriously, what was he doing? He was tailing an FBI analyst and a small child. It was wrong. So, so wrong… But he wanted to see her. He wanted to give her something just from him; something special. And he had a right to do that. He needed to and he could. So he followed them, sure to keep a safe distance and pulled in, parking a few slots over. At first he waited. He was nervous and doubting himself. Would Charlie sense something? Would she know what he was doing?

Finally gathering up the courage to go into the rink, he found whatever composure he could, grabbed his things, and went in. Then he waited. He hid. Garcia couldn't see him. That would ruin everything. He just sat there for a while until he saw her. He saw his chance.

_Seeing his daughter approach the bleachers all alone, if he wasn't trying to be all stealth he'd have words with one Penelope Garcia right then and there on the etiquette of childcare, he approached her. "Hi Charlie." He said. He felt like a predator. All she was trying to do was get her water bottle and he swooped in like a vulture on his prey._

_The smile that took over her face was radiant; one he yearned for and craved. Perfect… "Hi! What are you doing here? Penelope took me ice skating." She explained. _

"_I know."_

"_You do?" She asked curiously; a curiosity he couldn't help but feed._

"_Yeah, you're mother told me you'd be here."Lie…_

"_Oh, she did?"_

"_Yeah, and I wanted to see you." She brightened up thinking it was such a rare thing for him to want to see her. And then he realized, to her, it was. He made no effort that she knew of. Everyone else had come to see her and her mother, but not him. How could she think any different when the evidence pointed out his neglect?_

"_Really?" She perked up again, but it quickly faded. "You didn't come visit like the team."_

_The simple fact that she said that, never mind the way she said it, broke his heart. "I know. I'm sorry I've been really busy but Jack told me about all the fun you guys had together."That seemed like a safe approach. Jack was an easy topic for him and, while he shouldn't have to be so cautious about talking to his daughter, he knew the safe route was best. It wouldn't have been ok at all, however, if she was older and knew he essentially said he loved her brother more. Did he really say that? He was such an ass._

"_He did?"_

"_Yeah. You and Henry are two of his favorite friends." He explained as he sat next to her on the bench._

"_They're my best friends."_

"_That's cool." He hated what he was doing and how he was doing it, but he needed to be with her alone, without Emily, without anything. She was his daughter too. "How are you and your mommy doing?" _

"_Mommy's still tired a lot, but we're having lots of fun working on her surprise. I think she knows what we're doing, even if Derek and Penelope and JJ and Dave and Spencer all tell me she doesn't. But it's ok. I know she'll play pretend surprised when we show her."_

"_Everyone's helping out huh?" Except for him…_

"_Yup. They come over all the time. I like having them over. Mommy likes it too." She spoke exaggeratedly. He watched as Charlie looked around. He could see her laughing as she watched Garcia frantically look for her. He needed to get her back and he needed to leave before he was seen. "Maybe you and Jack can come one time?" Her hopeful eyes were killing him. How could she know just the right buttons to press? He was feeling guilty and, yet, incredibly proud. She was an amazing kid. But he couldn't say yes like he wanted. Even an attempt to get Emily to forgive him and let him in wouldn't make things instantaneously better. He screwed up. Being there, feeling the way he was feeling… It all proved just how royally he screwed things up. _

"_Maybe. I know Jack would like that."He started to doubt himself again. Could he handle that? Would Emily want him there? Did he even want to be there?_

"_I have to go. Penelope looks like she's crazy because she can't find me and I don't want to be a bad girl. Bye Aaron." She gave a shy wave as she put her water bottle back into her bag and started down to the rink on wobbly skate riddled feet._

"_Wait!" He called out. "I got you something."_

"_A present?"_

"_Yeah, a special one." Intrigued, she sat back down beside him. _

"_What is it?"_

"_Well, I missed your birthday, so I wanted to get you something really nice and I heard you love to read."_

"_I do!"_

"_Here." He said as he handed her a ribbon adorned object. "I used to love this book and I know you will too." He wanted her to have a piece of his past; a book that meant so much to him in his childhood. _

"_What's it called?"_

"_It's the Velveteen Rabbit. But this one's really special." He told her._

"_Why?"_

"_This is really old. It's called a First Edition. Do you know what that means?"_

"_Mommy says she collects those." He knew that. He saw the collection in her bedroom. "I'm not supposed to touch them unless she's around."_

"_Yes, so it's really special. You're going to take good care of it right?"_

"_The best." She promised. He was happy he made her smile, that the look on her face, the happiness, it was done by him. Others may have seen what he did as buying her love and affection. He wouldn't lie. If that was what it took, he'd probably do it. But that was not what the book was about. That book meant something. It would mean something to Emily because she collected them. It would mean something to him because he gave it to her and the story was one that he remembered his mother reading to him and him reading to Sean when they were children. And, most importantly, it would mean something to Charlie… one day… One day she'd know it was a special gift from her dad. She'd cherish it and love it, hopefully. "Thank you." She said happily, carefully wrapping the book in her sweater and putting it in her bag. _

"_You're very welcome. Just don't tell your mom I gave this to you." He told her. Emily couldn't know; not yet… Maybe not ever. It could still mean something without her knowing right?_

"_Why not?"_

"_Just promise me ok?" _

"_I promise. But what am I going to tell her?"_

"_Tell her you got it from a friend."_

"_I did get it from a friend." _

_He smiled, a hand gently running down her cheek, "Then you won't have to lie to her."_

"_Bye Aaron. Tell Jack I said hi please." She said as she moved closer giving him a hug that he may have held onto for just a little bit too long. It felt good. It felt right. He didn't know when or if he'd feel it again, so he needed to savor it before letting her go; back to Garcia, back to her life without him…_

It was a good day or, at least, it was a good few minutes. When he was there with Charlie, Garcia flapping around in a crazy outfit searching for a child that wasn't missing, he felt whole. He hadn't felt that way since before he found out. He wanted to feel it again. He needed to feel that again. But the question was how. How could he make things right? How could he get Emily to understand that he didn't think through what he said? Maybe he meant it in the moment, a big maybe, but he didn't mean it anymore. He could love that little girl and be there for her just like he was with Jack.

Did he mess things up too much to ever be allowed that? Thinking over every conversation he had with Emily, from the discovery phase to the New Year's text to the _final _confrontation, he said a lot of things. And those were enough to make him believe he may never get the chance to be the father he wanted to be. His daughter may grow up thinking her father didn't care because he was too much of an egotistical, "I am Man, hear me roar," kind of guy with a bruised pride and a wounded heart. What if he never got that chance? What if he never got to make it right? He had to. He just had to.

About a week later, he was still thinking about everything. He found himself sitting in his room getting ready to go see Jack. Haley had agreed to let him take his son for a little while even though it wasn't a scheduled time. With work cases and his own craziness, their agreed upon schedule got all messed up. But Haley was lenient, forgiving, and understanding. He was grateful because she could've been a bitch. They agreed to work something out and come up with something that would work better for both of them; a firmer schedule to stick to. Whatever it was, he'd make it work for his son's sake and his. Something he didn't do for his daughter.

Seeing Jack was a much needed distraction. He helped Hotch, momentarily, forget everything else. But more than anything, it was father son time he wanted, missed, and hoped for. And it was great, just the two of them doing whatever. But when it was over, he felt even guiltier than he did before. Everything he did made him feel guilty. Spending time with his son shouldn't have made him feel guilty. But it did. As soon as he was back home his mind quickly went to Charlie. That was the new normal. Even when he blocked her out, she was still on his mind.

The memories, the few there were, of the things they did together, however mundane, and the, what he considered, special moment at the rink when he realized for sure that he was meant to be her father just all kept playing in his head. He needed, however, to control the thoughts, curb them, because whatever revelations he may have had, Emily wasn't right there with him. He may have ruined that relationship forever. And before he could be all happy about the prospect of Charlie and him and Jack as a family, he needed to make things right with Emily first. And that was the hard part.

Charlie was a clean slate. She knew him as the fictional version Emily made him out to be; someone he proved he wasn't but hoped he could be, and her friend. The latter he could live with; for now. He knew that Charlie didn't know the bad which still gave him a chance with her. With Emily, he was too blind to see it before, she did all she could to make him out to be the hero; the kind of dad Charlie would want in her life and could be proud of. And he took that faith Emily had in him, the faith that one day he'd live up to the stories, and threw it back in her face. He was sure she regretted ever believing in him, telling their daughter those stories, and, worse, she probably regretted ever telling him about her. She gave him a chance, she believed in him, and he proved every good thing she thought wrong. It was a true accomplishment. It was all nothing to be proud about.

His thoughts strayed, delving deeper into his damaged psyche. Luckily, solace came in the form of a ring as the phone pulled him from his dark and somber thoughts. There was no more berating himself. "Hello." He answered. He didn't check the ID. He didn't care who it was, he was just happy for the disruption.

"That's all your little brother gets? 'Hello?' No, 'How are you Sean? How has life been?' Nothing huh?"

"Hey Sean, how has life been?"

"Everything's good on that front. What's going on with you?"

"Work mostly. Jack's good." Sean heard the hesitancy in his voice. It was like he wanted to say more but didn't know what to say or how to say it. There was something there.

"So how are things going with your women?"

"My women?" Hotch asked.

"Yeah, you know… The women in your life all seem to be in messed up situations."

"What do you mean?"

"You and Haley are going through a divorce."

"It's amicable." Hotch interjected.

"Divorce is divorce. It can only be so amicable. And then there's baby mama and the kid. How are they doing? You work things out with them?"

"We talked."

"Yeah? What does that mean? You said you'd call after you saw her, but you never did. And you never answered my calls. Does that mean things went well and you've been splitting time between work and your kids? Or does that mean things went south?"

"Things are where they are." He was not happy with where they were.

"Come on bro…" No response. "Aaron, how did things go?"

"It has been over a month Sean."

"Yeah, this time you actually answered my call. I was starting to think we were back to the old days where I had to show up at your office just to talk to you and then we'd end up fighting because I didn't want to be in law school or become a lawyer anymore."

"Not doing that worked out for you." He confessed.

"Yeah, it did. But we're talking about you. Did things work out for you?"

"Remember when we were younger. You were just a kid, but dad, he was still keeping his cancer a secret, we all knew he had affairs, but what I remember most was that he wasn't there when we needed him. Unless he was yelling at us for something we did wrong or telling us that we need to do better… If he wasn't disciplining us, he wasn't there… Have I become dad?"

That was a loaded question. Their father was… Well, he wasn't the kind of father they wanted to be; not a good reference for childrearing. Him just thinking he was like their father worried Sean a little. "You're not dad Aaron… What made you think you were? What happened with Emily? Whatever it was wasn't good if you're comparing yourself to dad."

"I don't know what I did."

"What do you mean? What did you do?" He thought about what could make his big brother feel so inadequate. "You didn't talk to her. Did you?"

"No, I talked to her."

"Good, good. So what happened then? What did she say? What did you say?"

"We've had our moments Sean. Growing up there were times I wanted to just lock you away and lose the key." Hotch said, ignoring Sean's questions.

"Yeah, I felt that way too sometimes."

"But I never did it. We yelled at each other, fought occasionally, and threw out a few deprecating terms, but I was never abusive."

"Whoa hey." Sean cut him off. "Man, did you hit her?" What was Sean supposed to think? Hotch couldn't do that. Palming his face, a motion mimicked by his older brother, he said, "Tell me you didn't. You didn't. Right?"

"I didn't hit her Sean. I don't hit people." Unsubs don't count. "Not physically anyway, but I might as well have."

"What are you talking about? You're being cryptic. This doesn't sound like you. If possible, you're being more depressing than usual."

"I love her." Hotch said, still ignoring his brother's words.

"Who? Emily?"

"What? No, Charlie. I love her."

"You could love Emily too. You had sex with her. You have a kid with her. Why couldn't you love her?"

"Why are we even talking about her? We're not talking about Emily." He was, but he moved on to Charlie. "This is about my daughter."

"Ok, no more Emily talk." He sighed. "But really Aaron, of course you love her. You said it yourself, she's your daughter. How can you not love her?" How could he say he couldn't love her the way he should?

"I can't believe I did what I did." He wasn't really opening up, not yet, but he hadn't talked about this with anyone but himself. He wasn't a good counterpart. "What have I done?"

"That's a good question. What have you done? Tell little brother here what happened so he can give you some great advice."

"I don't know what to do Sean. For the first time in my life, I am at a complete loss. I haven't been myself for weeks. Nothing I do is helping. I just don't know how to fix this."

"You need to tell me what there is to fix. You're kind of scaring me here. I don't think I've ever heard you like this; not where your personal life was concerned. Talk to me."

Hotch gave him the abridged, less insane sounding version of the story. Basically he said that it didn't go well. There was some raised voices, a few words that shouldn't have been said, and a lot of regrets on his part. He felt it best to tune his stalking venture down for their conversation. The things he said didn't sound nearly as bad the way he told it. He didn't know what to do about his situation, but he didn't know how to talk about it either. Thinking about what he had done hurt more than he could imagine. Telling it, saying it out loud, repeating possibly some of the worst things he had ever said… He couldn't do it. Maybe he said worse things, he sure thought them, but never had it hurt him as much later. He shunned his daughter without giving her a chance. What kind of man was he?

"Did you really say that?" Sean asked. How could his brother say that? Children were children; love them all the same… That was the way it was supposed to be. And he got that without Hotch actually telling him that he said he couldn't love Charlie like Jack. All he told Sean was that he mentioned something about different kinds of love and his confused, ambivalent feelings toward Charlie.

"Yes."

"You told me you love her. Did you mean it?"

"Yes, I love her. I love her and I love Jack. It's a different love, but I love them equally; no more, no less than the other."

"You really didn't listen to anything I said last time, did you?"

"I did."

"You needed to forgive her; not forget, just forgive. Otherwise things wouldn't go well for you and your daughter. I know you think I'm just the stupid younger brother, but I know things too Aaron. Emily is the only one standing between you and that relationship you want with your daughter and you went and dug yourself into a hole. It's going to take a lot of work for her to get over this, but from what you've told me, she's a decent enough person not to poison Charlie against you. Maybe you should be thankful for that and grovel. Fix this. You want your daughter and I want to get to know my niece."

"You make it sound so easy."

"It's not, but what have you been doing? I bet you spent the last few weeks miserable, which I guess doesn't say a lot because you're not really the happy kind of guy anyway, but you could've done something. You just wallowed. That's not you. This isn't you. You take control. You take action. So do something. Fix things. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and apologize over and over until she finally breaks. I don't know, just think of something."

"If I can't forgive myself, how can I expect her too? And how can I be around them and not think about everything I've done wrong?"

"You're asking me? Ok… I don't know. You just do. If you want to be in her life, if you want her to call you dad, then you need to do whatever you have to do. Jump through hoops, cook them breakfast, buy them chocolate. Girls love chocolate. Just do whatever."

"You know, you're still a kid sometimes, but you've grown up a lot too."

"Thanks Aaron. As much as I'd love to help you solve your problems, I've got to go. Duty calls, but let me know how things turn out. Tell me what you end up doing, and keep an eye on your mail. You should be getting it any day now."

"Getting what?" Hotch was lost.

"Bye Aaron." Despite the fact that his brother forgot about one of the biggest things to happen in his life, all Sean could think as he hung up was that he had to fix this. Aaron, as smart as he was and as capable as he was, had no clue how to handle women or how to deal with this. There wasn't much he couldn't handle, but this was one of those things. And he was going to help him out. He had a plan.

The only time he could get off was about a week after their phone call. Boss or not, he had a job to do and he couldn't just go taking all the days he wanted off. But the crew was done that Saturday and wouldn't be back until early Monday when the shipment arrived, so he had just over one day to sort things out and be back in time to sign off on the afternoon deliveries. Sean was hesitant, but he had been working on finding the time and getting the details he needed to go see her. Aaron wouldn't like it, but Aaron wasn't Aaron right now and he wanted to meet the woman and child that had his brother all out of whack. Plus, he didn't have to know. And while he was there, he figured it wouldn't hurt to try and smooth things over; at least get her side of things.

Bright and early Sunday morning, Valentine's Day of all days, Sean hopped on a plane and made his way to Virginia. His girlfriend wasn't too happy about the plans being cancelled, but when he explained it was for his brother, she seemed to let up a little. He left out a majority of the details, like he was going to visit another woman. Sure it was platonic, but without breaking the brother to brother confidentiality code, how could she understand that?

It didn't matter. He arrived in Virginia around nine, found a rental car company and took whatever they had to offer. He debated whether to drop by Aaron's first, after, or not at all. He was leaning toward the last option unless things went really well. He'd figure that out later. Sitting in his car, driving deeper into Virginia, he tried to juggle going over the directions he printed out and figuring out the GPS. One of the two would get him where he needed to be.

It took him all day to find the place. Nice house. It said, "Wealthy enough to live in a good neighborhood, but not flaunt it. We're good people." It was approachable. That didn't mean he wasn't nervous. Seeing her in a picture was one thing, meeting her was another. She was family he never knew about. He was excited though, like he was when he first met Jack. Only, in a way, it was cooler to meet her. She was older; not a baby. Instead of curious baby eyes and gurgling, he'd get feedback and real talk. Well, he was getting ahead of himself. If Aaron screwed up as bad as he seemed to, Emily might not have wanted anything to do with the Hotchners at all. But he was looking forward to meeting Emily too. She seemed like one hell of a woman; she had to be to put up with Hotch, raise a kid on her own, and deal with what her job entailed. That said a lot about her.

But he was procrastinating. All that work to make it to her house and he was just sitting in the car, but no more. He took the keys from the ignition, made sure he had what he needed; his guise for being there, and headed for the door. After standing there for a minute, he tapped on the door and rang the bell. "Is this how Aaron felt?" He asked himself. If he had those weird butterflies in his stomach and it was his niece, he had to wonder how Aaron felt. It was his daughter.

Hearing very faint, muffled noises, he rang the bell again. "I'm coming!" He heard Emily yell and the footsteps approach the door. He listened and watched as the locks clicked and the door slowly opened. "Hello." She said, slightly uneasily. That was understandable, he thought, because she had been through a lot and he was a stranger at her door.

"Emily Prentiss?" There was no doubt at all that the woman standing there was indeed the one he was looking for, but he still asked. It was like looking into the future. He may have only had a glimpse of Charlie, but yeah, he could see it. The eyes, the hair, the face…. Definitely the face… They were related alright.

"Yes, can I help you?" There was something about that man. She knew him from somewhere. He could see the hint of recognition in her eyes.

"I'm…"

"I know you." She looked the visitor up and down curiously. "I saw your picture. You're…" She had to think about it. "You're…" Was it really him there? Why? "Sean? Is that you?"

"Yes Emily. Sean Hotchner." He held out a hand. Was that appropriate? Was it a hug situation? A peck on the cheek? A handshake, which she returned, seemed adequate.

"What are you doing here? How'd you even know where I live?" Did Hotch tell him? Were they talking about her? It didn't matter; the point was that he was there and she needed to know why, and how.

"I came here to talk to you. And I looked up your address."

"I'm unlisted." She informed him. He knew it wouldn't be that easy to let it go.

"I called in a few favors at work."

"You're a chef."

"Ok, obviously you know more about me than I thought." He was surprised she knew that. He was surprised she even knew who he was. "I called in a favor at your work."

"Garcia." That was no question. The only one that would give out her personal information would be Garcia. Obviously she wouldn't give it out to anyone, but she would give it out.

"I may have led her to believe I was a prospective suitor and she seemed more than willing to pimp you out." He joked.

"I'll have to have a serious talk with her about that."

"Don't be too hard on her. I really told her that I needed your address along with all the others' to invite you to my opening."

"Opening? A restaurant right?"

"How'd you know?"

"I vaguely remember your brother muttering something about you and your dreams. Plus, you are a chef."

"He never understood how I could give up studying law for something so frivolous. But here." He said as he passed her a crème colored envelope. "It's your invitation."

"Am I the only one getting it hand delivered?" She asked warily. There was something fishy about the visit. There was more to it; she knew. She just hadn't yet figured out exactly what the reason was.

"I wanted to see you in person."

"And why's that?"

"We need to talk."

"I'm listening."

"Can I come in? It'd be better to talk in private."

Emily nodded and said, "Please, come in."

"Thank you." Now in the foyer, he just stood there. They both kind of just stood there, waiting for the other to make the next move. She decided it had to be her. He took the first step by coming there; she could take the next.

"He told you." Emily concluded. She could see it on his face. He just nodded. "You want to meet her?" She didn't know if that was meant to be a question or a statement. Given the way people tended to react, it sounded more like a wary question, but there was a reason he was there. She assumed it was more than giving her an invitation face to face, more than meeting the only colleague of his brother's he hadn't met. It was about Charlie. It was about his brother.

"I've only seen pictures. She's beautiful. Looks just like you. Aging will be kind to her."

"Thanks." That was a compliment; a weird one, but still nice.

"I was wondering if I'd ever get to meet the younger Hotchner brother."

"Here I am, in the flesh."

"Here you are… Why are you here exactly?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure. I just… I want to meet her. And you…"

"Me?" She didn't know why that surprised her, but it did.

"Yeah, anyone who could turn Aaron's world upside down and make him work like you are or someone who survived what you had is someone I want to meet."

"Oh-kay." She didn't know if that was supposed to be a good thing or what.

He could feel her skeptical, inquisitive eyes on him, watching him, waiting for the other shoe to drop. She had to wonder if it was a friendly visit. He understood that. "Is this a bad time?"

"No, sorry. I'm being rude. Please come in and sit. I hope you don't mind, we were just about to order some food and settle in for dinner and a movie." She looked him over one last time. "You're free to join us if you want… That is, if you're here to play nice."

"You're obviously having troubles with my brother, so here's something you need to know." She looked at him to continue. "We are two very different people. Where he's uptight, I'm laid back. Whatever it is he did to upset you, you should expect the opposite from me."

"There might be hope for you yet."

"Yeah, I like to think so. If the offer still stands, I'd like to stay." He reached into the small gift bag he brought with him and pulled out a box. "I even brought treats."

Taking the box from him, she opened it to see what was inside. "Chocolates?"

"Made them myself." He told his brother to give them chocolate. It was alike a drug. Give a girl the sweet treat and instantly, they're nicer. "Thought it would break the ice, and it is Valentine's Day."

"Thank you. Charlie will love them." She closed the box back up and handed it to him.

He was confused. "You don't want them?"

"You should give them to her. She'll like that."

"I'll give it to her then." He paused, unsure what to do or where to go next, so he said something he should've opened with earlier. "Look, I'm sorry that I showed up unannounced and that I just dropped this on you. I don't know what you agreed on, maybe he wasn't supposed to tell me, but he needed to talk to someone. My mom thought he was sick or something."

"I don't care that you know. In fact, I'm happy you do and I'm happy you were there for him. She's your niece and you deserve to know that. But she doesn't know about him being him and I'm asking you not to say anything to her. I don't think she would understand that the grownups have some things to work out before… Well we just have some things to work out before she knows."

"You're the boss. I don't want her to get hurt. I just want to meet her."

Pointing in the direction to the end of the hall Emily said, "Living room's right through there. I'm going to order our food and go get her. Make yourself comfortable."

After offering to cook only to have Emily refuse; "You're a guest." She said. Anyway, after the offer was rejected and he gave into her request to join them for dinner and took his order, he followed her directions, sure to take in the various photos along the way. He still didn't know exactly what he was doing there or what he really wanted to say. The only thing he knew for sure was that he wanted to at least start to smooth things over and make his brother's life a little easier. He hadn't always been the best brother. Same thing could be said for Hotch, but he owed him this.

From his position, staring out the glass doors at the beautiful backyard, he could hear them coming down the stairs. "That was your friend at the door?"

"Yes, Sean wanted to meet you. He, he came a long way to meet you."

"Why?"

"Because you're special."

"Where did he come from?"

"All the way from New York, so be nice. Ok?" Charlie nodded. "It was a long trip and all he wanted was to see you."

"Cool."

"Yes, cool." She took her hand and together they walked the rest of the way. "Sean." She cleared her throat to get his attention. "This is Charlie. Charlie this is Sean." Quietly to the little girl that was nervously leaning against her leg Emily said, "Can you say hi please?"

Sean smiled and moved away from the doors, closer to them and taking the initiative. "Hi Charlie."

"Hi Sean." She responded, sticking out her hand like she normally does when meeting an adult.

"I have something for you."

"You do?" That smile melted him. He wasn't one for kids. He liked Jack and he was a kid, and if he had some of his own, he'd like those too, but they grew around him and he'd grow with them. He just met her and, knowing she was his niece aside, she made him reconsider his no kids theory.

"Well, it's Valentine's Day and I couldn't come empty handed, especially not when I'm coming to see someone like you."

"Like me?"

"Yeah, aren't you a princess?" She shook her head. "No?"

"No I'm not."

"Well you should be. Here, Happy Valentine's Day." She readily took the bag from him and found the box.

"Chocolates! I love chocolate. Mommy got me some too, but she said I couldn't have anymore or I'd be high. I didn't know chocolate could make you go high."

"That's not… You can try one Charlie. He made them all by himself."

"You did?"

"Yeah, I make them all the time for very important people like you."

"I'm important?"

"Oh, very important." He pointed to one of the candies in the box. "That one's my favorite. There's caramel in it."

"Yummy. I like caramel. Can I have it mom?"

"Just one, and remember your manners."

"Oh, right. Thank you Sean. I'm sorry we don't have anything for you. I would've made you a surprise."

"That's ok. I don't need anything."

"But you got me something."

"I wanted to. That doesn't mean you have to give me something."

"Oh, ok." Charlie took a bite of the one he said was his favorite. "It's very good!"

"I'm glad you like it."

"Mommy?" Charlie tugged on her mother's shirt, asking her to lean down.

"What is it?" Instead of saying anything, she stood on her toes and whispered in Emily's ear. "Ok, put the candy away first and come down when I call you for dinner."

"Ok." She was just about to leave when she looked to her uncle. "Don't leave yet Sean."

"I'm not."

"Good."

"Is she ok? She took off pretty fast."

"She's fine, just a little thing she wanted to do. But it gives us a chance to talk."

"Sure, yeah ok." Sean didn't want to wait and he didn't want to jump right into the heavy stuff, so he started simple. "So, how are you doing after… everything?"He didn't know what everything was. She was hurt on the job. That was the extent of his knowledge.

"I'm better. Still a little sore, but I can function and I'll get all my strength back. At least I get my driving privileges again. Charlie likes when I drive her to school."

"She's the only kid that ever shook my hand. Jack hugs me and every other kid I've ever met was just too obnoxious to do anything but pick their nose or spit."

"Not a fan of children there Sean?" She teased.

"Not really, but your kid seems ok."

"Thanks I think."

"What happened?" He said abruptly. "What happened between you and Aaron?"

"He didn't tell you?"

"He gave me his version. I want yours."

"I tried telling him before; many, many times from the moment I found out. Letters, calls, all of that… but I couldn't, not until I came to the BAU right after she was born. I learned some things, took some time, and then every time I tried after that it just didn't happen. I always wanted him to be a part of her life. I hope you believe that."

"It doesn't matter what I believe."

"Maybe it does."

"I think that if you didn't want him in her life, you wouldn't have told him. You had your reasons for not telling him until now that I may or may not agree with. I don't know, but that's in the past, and you did tell him."

"And you see how well that turned out."

"He didn't really go into much detail, but when we were at my mom's for New Year's, he was a mess. He was confused and lost; like a lost little puppy that couldn't remember which way was home. I don't think he understood and that's why he couldn't do anything. I swear he looked like he hadn't slept for months."

"And I can understand that. He needed time and space. I gave him that. But when we talked after that he, in a nutshell, told me that he couldn't do it. Couldn't do this." She sighed. "I didn't ask him to do anything but be there and he couldn't do that. And he proved himself right. He had over a month to change his mind, to apologize, to make an effort, but he didn't." For the life of her, she couldn't understand why she still protected Hotch's image. There before her was someone who knew the truth, someone she could actually talk to, and she was sugar coating it. She didn't want to repeat it, she guessed. It wasn't right. That was his brother and he shouldn't think anything but good things about Aaron. "I'm not going to force him into her life if that's not what he wants. And I'll tell you what I told him. I said that if she asks, I'm not going to lie. I'll tell her about him. I'll say nice things. I'll tell the truth. But if she asks where he is, I'm going to tell her he's not here. That he won't be there and that's his choice."

Sean didn't know what to say. Before him was a woman that his brother once described as stone; while she carries many emotions she compartmentalizes and hides them better than even him. But when he looked at her, he saw it all. The anger, the sadness, the resentment, the everything… It was all right there. "He told me he said something he shouldn't have. What did he say?"

Her mouth dropped open. Could she answer that? How much did he tell him? Did she want him to know? Telling him would make it real and most nights she just pretended it was one of her nightmares. Timing genius struck though, and the doorbell rang again. "That must be the food. Wait here."

Emily gave the delivery guy and extra few dollars in tip money for his good timing and spent most of dinner in her own world. Charlie drew Sean a card; which was cute and he loved it. That was where she disappeared to. With a few misspelled words it basically read, "Happy Valentine's day. Thank you for the chocolates. They were yummy. Charlie." He promised her he would take it home and hang it up.

Emily just watched them interact. They didn't need her as the go between. They were doing fine on their own. Charlie, although slightly shy at first, warmed up to him fairly quickly. He answered questions she had and asked her a few of his own. He was doing everything Hotch should've been doing. By that point, he had more interaction and get to know you time with his niece than Hotch had with his daughter. How warped was that? Hotch wanted to spend time with her before he knew, and after nothing. Life was funny sometimes.

Thoughts drifted to what life would be like if Hotch cared. She couldn't help herself. Would he come over for dinners every now and again? Would he take her and Jack on weekends for a little daddy time? What about holidays? She hated that she wouldn't know; that Charlie wouldn't know. Was it her? Was it because of her that Charlie wouldn't get her father? She couldn't even hold a boyfriend so it wasn't likely there'd ever be a stepfather. So she was stuck with just Emily. That wasn't fair to her.

"…Mommy!"

"Emily!"

"Huh? What?" She asked, their voices puling her from her own head.

"Are you ok?"

"I'm fine. What is it that you wanted Charlie?"

"I asked if we are going to watch my movies now. You said we could. Sean can watch too."

"Why don't you show Sean your room instead? We can watch the movies tomorrow after homework."

"Do you want to see my room?" She asked Sean. "Mommy made it just for me. It's very pretty. And it has everything I like."

"I'd love to see your room." He shot Emily a kind smile thanking her for not making him sit through some princess crap just to spend time with her.

"Let's go." She got off her chair and looked to Emily. "Mommy are you coming?"

"No Charlie Bear. I'm going to stay down here and clean up. You guys have fun."

"Ok." She walked closer to Sean and held out an open hand. "Come with me." She said, urging him to take the hand she extended.

"After you." He responded and took her hand.

Sometime later, Emily was putting away the last of the movie snacks when she heard them coming down the stairs and listened. She was hoping they had a good time. He was her uncle and she didn't have her father. As they walked down the stairs they were mumbling about this and that. Charlie was snuggling Jazz and holding onto her book. "You know," Sean started, "this same book used to be my brother's favorite story."

Curiously, Charlie asked, "Really?"

"Yeah. I remember when I couldn't sleep at night and we had to be quiet because we didn't want to wake our parents, I'd sneak into his room and ask him to read to me. He always picked that book."

"He sounds really nice. Having a brother must be awesome." Nervously, she moved closer to him. "Would you read this with me?"

"Well, it's getting late. Let's see what your mother has to say first."

Emily was listening in the whole time. Hearing what she heard made her think about a few things. It helped make sense of things she was trying to figure out. The pieces she couldn't fit suddenly had a place. But she'd think about that later. Knowing they were approaching, she busied herself, making it look like she wasn't eavesdropping. She grabbed whatever was in front of her and just fiddled with it.

"What are you doing?"

"Putting some things away." She answered quickly. "Did you like your tour?"

"She has a beautiful room."

"Mommy, is it too late for him to read with me?"

"What are you reading?"

"My special book."

"Well, that's a long one and you still need a bath. How about you read the first few pages with him and then go get ready?"

"Only a few pages?"

"Only a few."

"Is that ok?" Charlie asked Sean.

"I'd love to. Lead the way squirt." Emily watched them go and settle on the couch. Charlie asked if she could read to him like his brother did. He liked the idea; less work too. He had to help her with a few words, but she was smart. She fit into their family. Aaron was smart. And Jack too. He imagined Emily was as well. He could picture his brother dealing with a daughter. When she got older and she had a boyfriend, he'd threaten a chastity belt and pull out the gun and badge before interrogating the poor boy who set sights on his baby. He would love reading to her. If Jack could bring him so much joy, having Charlie just meant double that. She was a good thing. His brother just needed some direction; a path to follow.

"Charlie…" Emily interrupted them. "Brush your teeth and get ready for your bath. It's almost bed time."

"Ok. Does this mean Sean has to go?"

Emily looked to him. She didn't know what his plans were. She was just excited he wanted to meet her. "I'm sorry squirt. Once I leave here I'm hopping on a plane home. But hopefully, I'll see you soon."

"Ok. Thank you for reading with me."

"It was fun. We'll do it again sometime."

"We will?"

"Sure."

"Say goodbye Charlie." Emily instructed.

"Bye Sean. It was nice meeting you. Thank you for the chocolates."

"I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't that" Sean said once Charlie was gone.

"Is that a good thing or a bad?"

"Good. I was just thinking about the two of us growing up. I was always the trouble maker and he was the good son. I guess I was expecting Charlie to be me in this version of our story. But leave it to my brother to have two perfect, well behaved kids. Isn't there a rule or something that says you have to have at least one problem child?"

"If you ask him, that probably is Charlie." She knew she shouldn't have said that the moment it left her mouth, but that was the way she felt. "But it's not. Must be his next kid."

"You planning more kids with him."

"Absolutely not. I'm done, no more… And not with him again ever…"

"Why not, you guys make a great kid."

"We do, but I'm not looking to do it again."

"Because he wasn't there?"

"He didn't know. I couldn't expect him to be there."

"But he knows now."

"And he's still not here. Even if he was, I… It doesn't matter. Why are we talking about babies? Does she make you want one? She does that."

"I could believe that, but no, no kids for me. I'm just trying to figure out what my brother did to get so lucky. But I'm guessing it has more to do with the women than him."

"I'll take that as a compliment and leave it at that." They really didn't know what to say to each other. For Emily, this was the first time meeting this man. Charlie's uncle or not, however nice he seemed and however comfortable she felt with him around, she didn't know him. She didn't know if he was there for something more. And for Sean, all he knew about Emily was limited. Aaron gave him bits, not even enough to call pieces. The way Aaron made it seem, and Sean was over exaggerating a little, Emily was the evil queen that kept his daughter away and locked her in a dungeon. The way Sean saw it, Emily was doing everything she could to give her daughter a life she deserved with or without him in it. But she tried to have him in it. Aaron just needed to let go of the anger and embrace what good he had in his life.

"You know, having her read that book with me made me see a lot more of him in her than meets the eye."

"She's not all me, just mostly me."

"It's better that way. If she looked like him, well, I'm glad she got her looks from you. Can you imagine Aaron in a dress and wig?"

"No, no I can't." She laughed. Calming down their laughter, Emily turned serious. "So, how's he doing? I heard he was working more and has been snappy."

"I haven't talked to him much. He has been ignoring my calls. But he's a mess. He was comparing himself to our father so… That says a lot. I'm worried about him. That's part of the reason I'm here."

"What do you want me to do about this?"

"I need you to let him be a part of her life, of your life."

"I'm not stopping him from doing that. I may not be happy with him and I really don't want to go through this, but I want my daughter to have everything. That includes her father. He just doesn't want her."

"I think he does." Sean stated. "I still don't understand what happened."

"There's not much more to tell. He's angry at me, which I understand, but that doesn't give him free reign to do and say whatever he wanted."

"Has he tried to talk to you at all?"

"I haven't seen or heard from him since very early January." But she was starting to think just because he didn't physically come up to her or talk to her, didn't mean he wasn't around.

"I think he wants to, but doesn't know how."

"What makes you say that?"

"He didn't take the news very well when he got it. Anyone could see that. You, unfortunately had to experience it, but I know he wants to be in her life. That much I'm sure of. And right now, he's miserable. He's lost and he doesn't know what to do."

"Well he needs to figure things out. I can't do that for him. Whatever he chooses has to be his choice, not something I forced on him."

"But couldn't you just tell him that whatever he said is forgiven and that if he wants to see her, he could?"

"It's not forgiven. And it won't ever be if he truly meant it."

"What the hell did he say? He told me he said some things in anger, in the moment, and then he said something just because he didn't know. He was confused. I'm sure he didn't mean it." The look on her face when he asked her to just forgive him was unbearable. She was hurt, and obviously, big bro dug himself into a pretty deep hole.

"Let's be done talking about this. If you're here to fix his problems, you can't. He has to grow up and be the man we all know he is and deal with it on his own." The more they talked, the more she realized the family Charlie was missing out on and the more Hotch's words stung. But she wouldn't have someone who couldn't fully be there for Charlie in their lives. That wasn't an option. "If he's sorry, if he didn't mean it, he'll tell me. And we'll take it from there. Right now, I want to know about you. Tell me about your restaurant."

He did. He told her everything from the layout to the plans. Some things were finished. Some things he was worried would never get done. He got a great location in New York, perfect for his venue. It was fine dining, but family oriented as well. The menu catered to everyone and had different aspects of many cultures. He managed to snag one of his competitor's chefs, someone people sought after. And the rest of his staff was already hired. Listening to him was like watching a kid in a candy store. His eyes lit up and there was so much excitement. It was nice to see his dreams weren't as frivolous as Hotch made them out to be.

"I'm happy for you. It seems like it's going to be a great place."

"Does that mean you'll consider coming to the opening?"

"I haven't even opened the invite yet. I don't even know when it is."

"March 12th. It's a Saturday."

"I'll have to check."

"Bring Charlie with you and stay the weekend. That's what I recommended to your whole team. Everyone's invited."

"I promise to think about it and I'll let you know once I figure it out."

"Please think about it. And if you come, you really should bring her. My mom's going to be there, and whether she knows Charlie's her granddaughter or not, I know she'd love to meet her." She liked that idea too.

"I promise to talk it over with the team and get back to you. If my schedule allows for it, I'll be there."

"Ok. I really got to go. I have to return the car before I get on my flight."

"Let me walk you to the door." Silently, they both stood and made their way to the front porch. They both stopped at the open door.

"I don't get down here often. I honestly shouldn't even have come here now. I have so many last minute things to do before we open, but I was needed here. I needed to be here."

"Well, I'm happy you took the time to come."

"Me too. I don't really know what happened, but I know that he cares. And I care. So if you ever need anything, just give me a call." He gave her his business card. "And maybe I can call sometime too?" Maybe, if things didn't get resolved, he could keep Aaron in the loop; update him with whatever he could learn.

"Sure, I'm assuming Garcia gave you everything, number and all."

"Yeah."

"Have a safe trip."

"Thank you. And I look forward to seeing you at the opening."

"I'll do my best to be there."

"It was really nice meeting you Emily. And Charlie too."

"You too Sean." She said and he began to walk away. "Wait."

"Yeah?"

"You asked me earlier what he said and I didn't answer."

"Uh huh?"

"He said he couldn't love her like he loves Jack. He just couldn't do it." She sighed, finally looking to his eyes instead of the spot on the porch she was staring at. "I didn't know what to do with that, so I just told him to leave." Aaron certainly didn't tell him that, and he really wasn't expecting to hear that. He knew his brother loved that girl. If he didn't, knowing about her and what he missed wouldn't have bothered him.

"I would've done worse." He added solemnly trying to wrap his head around what his brother did.

"You understand why I can't just magically make things better? Sometimes words hurt more than action. He needs to want her and love her to be in her life. When or if that time comes, we'll talk. But before then, I really can't do anything for him. I'll work with him when I go back, but that's the extent of it."

"I understand." He said dejectedly. "Thank you though, for everything. You did it on your own and she turned out pretty great. Aaron's missing out, but he'll come around. I just hope that's enough."

She couldn't say anything to that. She didn't know if it'd be enough. She didn't know what the future would bring. "Goodbye Sean."

"Goodbye Emily." He parted.

He may have come there just to patch things up, but he was leaving with much more. She was special; they both were. Emily and Charlie were family now. They would forever be connected, Aaron or not. He was stupid for saying what he did. It was obvious he loved that girl. She was his, he just couldn't see it. He was so blind to the love he had that it was literally making him crazy. He was doing things he knew he shouldn't all to be near her, but he couldn't just apologize and make amends. He was stubborn. He was the biggest, most controlling person he had ever known, but he loved his children; all of them. He just had to realize that he needed to stand up and do something. He needed to fight for them. And yes, it was them; Emily too. If Sean were to predict the future, he'd wager they'd eventually get together. Rocky starts tended to make the best romances.

Really, their lives were up in the air. It could go either way. Good or bad, something was bound to happen between those two.

**I changed my mind about the Hotch/Prentiss interaction in this chapter in order to use my better idea in an upcoming chapter. The next chapter will have team interaction. And if all comes out like it's playing in my head, I think people will be happy; that or hate me. But hey, I love it. Depending on how much I write it should be at the end of next chapter or the one after that. **

**I hope that I portrayed that Hotch is conflicted but finally realizing what he is missing out on. He's in a funk and he's acting crazy, but in the end it needed to be done to get him to realize his mistake. I just don't want him to come off completely out of character and all perverted stalker guy. **

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**


	21. New York, New York

Chapter 21: New York, New York

It was the day after Sean's visit, during the start of Charlie's vacation, that Hotch made his first attempt at talking to Emily. It wasn't much of an attempt. He called, but not to talk about their daughter or anything personal. No, he called about work. Emily and Charlie were in the middle of talking about leap year when he called.

"Why is it called leap year?"

"Because the extra day makes the other days jump or leap." That was a good way to explain it to a child, wasn't it?

"Why is it this year?"

"It just happens every four years."

"Why does it happen?" Where was Reid's brain when she needed it?

"Well there's a…" The ringing saved her from answering.

"Phone! Can I answer it?" Emily didn't usually let her, but she was in a good mood.

"You can. Do you know what to say?"

"I remember." Charlie said and ran to the phone. "Prentiss, Charlie speaking." Emily watched her smile. "Hi!" She said enthusiastically. "Uh huh… Yeah… How come you never came?" Who was she talking to and what was she talking about? Emily wanted to know.

"Charlie, who's on the phone?" Her daughter just waved her off.

"Oh, but will I see you soon and Jack too?" At least Emily's question was answered. She just didn't know how she felt about the answer she got. "Ok… Yeah, mommy's right here." Charlie walked over to her mother and held out the phone. "Here mommy. It's for you."

"Thank you Charlie." Lifting the phone to her ear she said, "Hotch."

"Emily."

"You called?" She was being a little hostile. She had the right. It was the first time they were talking and Emily still carried some of that anger. Masking it completely wasn't working.

"Yes."

"Was there a reason?"

"How is your recovery coming along?" That wasn't the question he wanted to ask, but that was what came out.

"I'm doing well thank you."

"Good, good…" She could hear his deep inhale. "Strauss and I attended your disciplinary hearing."

"And I wasn't there because?" She didn't even know about it. Could they do that?

"It was best you weren't." …especially with Strauss trying to get her permanently suspended from the team. And, while it probably would've worked in his favor and slowly started to get him back in her good graces, he didn't want her to know that he championed for her. He fought for her to keep her spot in the team. After talking to each and every member he realized, even after all the bad, they couldn't function without her. Together, they were whole; a profiling machine. Missing a piece, they just weren't the complete package. Each person played a role and Emily's was important. The trust was still there. He wasn't feeling it, but that was more her lack of trust toward him than his toward her at that point. Their lives were messy. "We just went over everything. Did our best to clear you of any misconduct."

"And?"

"You still have a job."

"What's the catch?" There was something in his voice that told her there was more.

"Mandatory counseling."

"I figured."

"I took the liberty of setting up your first appointment."

"When?"

"Wednesday morning, at 10 o'clock. Fifth floor. Dr. Lozano."

"I can swing that."

"Good."

"Yeah." Awkward wasn't the right word to describe the conversation. They were both just trying so hard to make it normal that it was false and tense.

"Once your doctors clear you for active duty, you have to complete recertification exercises. Gun range, tactical assault, all of it, but you can do that once you're at work."

She sighed. "I guess that's fair. It's a pain, but fair." He said nothing. "What else Hotch?"

He didn't have anything else to tell her; nothing work related. "I…" What did he want to say, he was sorry? He wanted to, yes. He wanted to say many things, but nothing would come out. Even if it did, was over the phone the right way to say them? "I hope you get back to work soon. The team misses you."

"And you?" She wanted to ask. "Do you miss me?" But she couldn't do it. She knew it would come out hostilely and he was still her boss. She needed to behave. Maybe he didn't call for the reasons she was hoping, but that didn't mean she needed to be a bitch. Maybe it was the door opening. He gave Charlie that book. She was sure of it. She was also pretty sure that was his car out there, though she hadn't seen it since. So a part of him wanted to be there. Getting there, though, was solely up to him. The proverbial ball was in his court. "I miss them too. I will be at the appointment."

"Good. Take care of yourself Emily." Twice he called her Emily, not once reverting back to Prentiss.

"I will. Bye Hotch."

"Bye." Both had so much they wanted to say; so much they needed to say, but neither said it. It would happen…

"Mommy, did you talk to Aaron?" Charlie asked as Emily returned the phone to its cradle.

"I did, you saw me on the phone with him."

"I know. What did he say?"

"He was talking to me about work stuff. Hey," Emily got a sly smile on her face, "do you still want to see where mommy works?"

Nodding vigorously, Charlie answered, "Yes!"

"Maybe we can arrange something then."

"Please!"

"I'll work on it."

Work on it she did. Wednesday morning, she called JJ early in the day to find out if they had a case. "No, no case today." JJ informed her.

"Good, do you want to do lunch today?"

"Are you coming in?"

"I have an appointment."

"Oh, a mandatory kind if appointment?"

"Yea, it's mandatory."

"Fun. What about Charlie? Are you going to bring her with you?" JJ asked.

"I can't bring her in there with me, but she has been asking to see where mommy works, so I was hoping to get Garcia to watch her in the lair while I talk things out with the appointed shrink. Do you know if she's busy? I was going to give her a call after we got off the phone."

"Actually, she was just talking about going to see you guys, and, there's no case, so she shouldn't be too busy."

"Ok, good. So we'll do lunch and see if Garcia wants to join?"

"Yeah. " She agreed and they said goodbye. Emily then shot Garcia a text asking about later and dressed in something therapist appropriate; something that didn't scream, "Basket case here! In need of institutionalizing!" Ready to go, breakfast made and eaten, teeth brushed and shoes on, Emily called for Charlie. "Come on Charlie, we've got to go."

Bouncing down the stairs she asked, "Where are we going?"

"Remember I told you I'd take you to see mommy's work?"

"We're going now?" She asked excitedly. Emily nodded. "Why are you being so slow?" The tables were turned. "Let's go, let's go, let's go!"

"Alright, we're going." Emily laughingly said.

Charlie was anxious and eager the whole car ride. She didn't know what to expect or where exactly it was they were going. She equated her mother to a superhero. Where did superheroes go? She didn't know, so she just looked around, watching the scenery pass, and waiting to get to wherever they were going. "Are we there yet?"

"Charlie, it has only been five minutes. We'll be there soon. I promise."

"Ugh." She huffed. "Ok, but don't be afraid to go fast."

"Relax Charlie; it's just a big building."

"But you work there and my friends will be there."

"And you will get to see it all. Just calm down ok." Charlie quickly reverted to her well behaved self as they made their way to FBI headquarters. The girl practically flew from her seat when Emily told her they were there.

"It's huge mommy!" She stared at the building in wonderment.

"It is pretty big. Come on, let's go inside." Emily held out her hand which Charlie greedily took. They went through the security and up the elevator, the ding signaled their final destination. "Ready?" Emily asked as the door slowly opened.

"Ready." Charlie nodded.

Since they had a little time to kill before Emily had to go for her appointment, Emily showed Charlie around. Everyone was there already, so the tour was extra special. Charlie loved it. She loved getting to see where they worked and a little of what they did; although, she still thought of them as superheroes. "And this is my desk."

"Cool!" Charlie said as she hopped onto the chair and looked around. Emily leaned down and whispered in her ear. "There are pictures and drawings in the bottom drawer. Why don't you decorate my desk until Penelope comes and gets you?"

"I can do that?" Even though Emily just told her she could, she asked for permission.

"I want you to do that. Make it pretty."

Emily reminded Charlie to behave and asked Spencer to just keep an eye on her until Garcia came into the bullpen to get her. Reid reluctantly agreed. He didn't not like kids; he just didn't know how to deal with them sometimes. Victims were different. There were rules for dealing with them, guidelines to follow. Charlie and Henry and Jack didn't come with a How To guide he could read over. But he dealt with her before. As far as kids went, she was pretty knowledgeable, and, unlike his coworkers most of the time, she let him finish his facts seeming genuinely interested; even if she probably didn't know what he was talking about. And, when in doubt, there was always physics magic.

Emily headed to the fifth floor knowing her daughter was well taken care of and in for a good time. And, to top it off, she hadn't run into Hotch at that point and she was happy about that. It was turning out to be a good day. All she had to do was make it through the appointment without any emotional wreckage being exploited or any wrong things being said; then the day would've been considered a win.

Walking out of the stairwell and down the corridor, Emily saw something she wasn't expecting, or, rather, someone. Quietly approaching, looking around her surroundings to make sure she was at the right place, Emily was nervous. It was a make or break type thing. She needed a clear head and him being there wasn't helping. She needed the doctor's nod of approval, and while she was sure it would take a few visits to make that happen, she didn't want to ruin her chances on the first day. Standing just a few feet away in the, otherwise, empty hall, Emily cleared her throat.

Nearly jumping at the sound, Hotch turned to look at her. He was lost in thought and didn't hear her coming, but once he saw her, he quickly stood and after a few moments of awkward silence said, "I just wanted to make sure you showed up."

"Well here I am." She responded slightly mockingly.

"Here you are."

"Is that all?"

"Really talk to her Emily." He said seriously. "That's important if you want to come back."

"I know." She looked away from him.

"You do want to come back, don't you?" Was there hope in his voice? She was sure he wanted nothing to do with her and Charlie and everything, but everything he had done as of late pointed to the contrary. Why was he so frustratingly confusing?

"Yes Hotch. Of course I want to come back. The team is my family. This is my job. It's where I need to be."

"Good, I'm glad." Emily just nodded. "I have to get back, make sure the children didn't light the bullpen on fire."

"Right, bye." It was neither the time nor place to get into the conversation they both seemed willing to have. They were in a weird place. It was so uncertain and uncharted. Neither knew what would come of it, but if he wanted it, she'd hear him out. She just needed it to be later; not then or there.

"Bye." He stated, sensing the hasty dismissal. He'd get a chance to say what he wanted to say, he just needed to be sure of what he wanted to say. He couldn't understand why, but a part of him sensed she was willing to hear him out. Not wanting to chance the whatever he felt was going on between them, he left without another word even though he wanted to say something; anything.

And Emily was happy he didn't. About five minutes later, her name was being called and she was being greeted by Dr. Lozano. She seemed nice, but however nice, Emily didn't like being there. Talking to her wasn't Emily's idea of a good time. "Today's an easy day." The doctor started after the pleasantries portion of the day was out of the way. The tension in Emily's body was still evident. She was never good at the whole talking thing, not with people outside the family; really it had only ever been friends since her parents would never talk about feelings. She was taught to stifle her feelings and only show emotions in private, and then only if necessary. "All we're going to do is get to know each other a little bit. So, why don't you start? Tell me a little bit about yourself and why you're here."

Emily kept her smartass sarcastic comments to herself and played along. She answered all questions as honestly as possible, skewing whatever needed to be skewed to make her life look in order. Determined to get out of there and earn her spot back as quickly as possible, Emily did what she had to. That meant actively participating. Which she did…She opened up a little, not enough to get anywhere, but enough to show that she was willing. Lozano looked pleased. They were off to a good start.

"Our time's up for today Emily, but you did very well. I look forward to our future sessions and getting to know you a little better."

"Me too Dr. Lozano." Right… Emily stood from her seat only to be stopped by the doctor.

"Today went well Emily, but it's only the beginning. We haven't even skimmed the surface of the issues at hand. There are some things we need to work through and discuss before you're ready to return to active duty. So remember to set up a weekly visit on your way out and I'll see you next time." Emily just plastered a faint, but seemingly genuine, smile on her face and nodded her understanding before shaking the other woman's hand and leaving. It felt a lot longer than an hour, and she was relieved to get out of there. If she was feeling like that on the first day and they had yet to discuss anything of matter, she couldn't imagine what she'd have to sift through to get reinstated on the team. But that was a problem for a different day.

She walked up to the BAU floor and headed to JJ first. She found the blonde head deep and lost in a sea of paper work. Emily figured she'd be a welcomed distraction. "Ready for some lunch?"

"Oh thank god, a person!"

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes. If I had to read one more file I was going to gauge my eyes out. Let's get them and go." She said, grabbed Emily's hand, and dragged her toward the tech room. When they approached, they saw Garcia and Charlie huddled up looking through a book or something.

Clearing her throat Emily asked, "What are you two up to?" Instead of answering, Garcia quickly shut whatever it was they were looking at and pushed it under other things as Charlie ran to her mother.

"Mommy, you're back!"

"I'm back."

"Hi JJ."

"Hi Charlie. You guys ready for a girl's lunch?"

"I get to come too?" Charlie asked.

"Of course, we're all going. Are you ready Garcia?"

"Let me grab my purse." Together the four of them made their way to a nice little restaurant not too far from the office. They ordered their food, talked a little, and did what people did when out for lunch. Right before the food was delivered, Charlie informed everyone that she needed to use the bathroom and, when Emily stood to take her, Garcia quickly offered to do the job leaving JJ and Emily alone at the table.

The topic of Will had come up fairly often. It was more talk about men and significant others in general that came up. That was what girls did. They talked and gossiped and sucked out all the intimate details. But Emily knew that marriage was something that JJ and Will talked about, but not something she wanted. It was, however, an easy target; easy to tease JJ with and play with her a little.

With a smirk Emily asked, "When are you and Will getting married?"

"When are you going to date?"

"Not fair." Emily playfully huffed. The roles reversed. They all knew her dates were few and far between and rarely long lasting relationships. It wasn't that she wasn't desirable; she was just a little bit of a nerd with a demanding career and a child to care for.

"But who said we were playing fair?"

"I've come to a realization." Emily turned slightly serious. Joking aside, she meant what she was going to say.

"Yeah? What's that?"

"People like me don't get their fairytale endings."

"People like you? What do you mean 'people like you'?"

"People like me… Women like me… We're better off alone. And that's ok. I've accepted it."

"You've accepted it? How can you accept something like that?"

"I have everything I could want. My daughter is all I need. And I have you guys and the rest of the BAU family." But did she really have them all? Hotch was still a tossup. "What more do I need? What more could I ask for?"

"You need to open yourself up. You need to accept that people could love you and be there for you. You can have that fairytale ending."

"You could too if you actually accept the proposal when given." Emily joked, but it was also true.

"And if I don't want to?"

"Then don't. You have to be sure it's something you want."

"Ok, so enough about that. What about you? No dating… What are you going to spend your days alone with a thousand cats, wasting away alone in your big house?"

"I'll have Charlie."

"She'll be old and grown."

"Just the thought of that scares me more than the thousand cats."

"I know. I don't want to picture Henry all grown and out of the house. It's a crazy thought."

Lifting up her glass of water in a toast like manner she said, "Here's to not thinking about it."

"To not thinking about it." JJ mimicked Emily's actions. Shortly after, she looked to Emily and spoke. "But seriously, don't you want to get out there and date a little?"

"No." She lied. A part of her did want that. Another part didn't.

"Come on, you do. Garcia was all over me to convince you to say yes before… everything happened, and now that you're finally getting better, I think you should do it."

"Do what?"

"She wants us to set you up."

"No." Her answer was firm. Blind dates and set ups rarely, if ever, worked out.

"No?"

"Absolutely not."

"Why not? I'll vet whoever she chooses and you know we'll do a thorough background check even if they are friends." JJ was doing her best to be convincing.

"I don't want to. I'm capable of meeting people on my own. If I wasn't, Charlie wouldn't be here."

"Is that the problem?" Emily gave her a questioning look. "Is it because of Charlie that you're not dating or because of her father?" Not a question she was expecting…

"What? What does it have to do with him?" She sounded defensive.

"Well, you said things didn't go well and we never really got to talk about it. Do you want to talk about it now?"

"Here Jayje? Really? No, I think I'd rather not."

"I'm just saying… Maybe you don't want a relationship because he hurt you and, should it happen again, you want someone you can rely on."

"It's not happening again."

"Of course not, you're not sleeping with anyone."

"JayJay…" She drew out the name. "Let's not talking about who I'm sleeping with."

"Or not sleeping with… Seriously though…" She didn't get to finish the thought as the others returned to the table.

"Who's sleeping with who?" Garcia asked in a hush, hush tone as they took their seats.

"No one."

"Mommy is Derek sleeping in your bed again?" Emily literally choked on her food. Her daughter may have meant it innocently, and the adults knew that, but it was still unexpected.

"Emily Prentiss you dog you." Garcia said in a chipper voice as JJ just stared with an amused face. "Have you been bedding my chocolate god?"

"Have you been bedding the chocolate god mommy? That's not fair. I want some." The entire table laughed. Emily just looked a little mystified like she couldn't understand what was happening. Garcia summed it up pretty well though.

"She may not know what she's saying, but she definitely inherited your sense of humor."

"What did I say?"

"Nothing sweetie." Emily quickly tried to refocus the attention as Charlie went back to her drawing mat. "Ok JJ, please be my only friend here and change the subject before I have a coronary."

"Sure. Have you gotten Sean's invitation?"

"Oh!" Garcia interrupted. "Have you ever met Handsome Hotchner Junior? He is a vision."

Before Emily could respond with a simple yes, JJ threw in her own two cents. "Maybe you should date him. He's our age. He's obviously doing well for himself. And he's good looking. You could do worse." She could do worse. But just the thought was an odd one. He was Charlie's uncle and Hotch's brother. Even if she wanted it, it was just too convoluted. "You'd be good together."

"I don't think so; long distance and boss's brother. And Garcia, we need to have a little chat about giving my information out to just anybody. No matching of the hearts ok?" By that point, as Garcia was trying to explain her actions away, Charlie was totally engrossed in her food and coloring. She was separate from the conversation. JJ and Penelope shared a few "we'll try again soon" looks before Emily tried to reel the conversation back in. "Back to the opening. Are you going?"

"I want to go. Will and I were thinking of flying out Saturday morning, checking into a hotel, spending the day with Henry, going to the opening and making a weekend of it. We could explore a little more that Sunday before catching an afternoon flight home." She looked around the table. "What about you girls?"

"Kevin and I are really excited. Although if I wasn't already with my nerdy hunk, I think I'd go just to stare at Sean all night. But I digress, we're RSVPing and making it a romantic rendezvous. Em, you and mini E going?"

"I wanted to see what everyone else was doing before I finalized plans." She didn't want to be the only one to show up other than Hotch who she was sure was going to be there. "But we're going. Charlie too. Sean specifically told me our children were welcomed." She knew she misspoke. It was a small tidbit she hadn't meant to give away.

"Wait, you talked to him? Did he call you?" Garcia dragged out the last question like when a child asked "do you like, like him?" emphasis on the first like.

"Yeah, we talked." Talked they did; simple and true.

"Mommy?" Charlie tugged at Emily's sleeve choosing that moment to insert herself into the conversations she was only slightly listening to. "Why are you talking about Sean?"

JJ and Garcia seemed a little surprised that the girl knew of the man. "She knows him too?"

Charlie answered before Emily could. "He gave me very good chocolate on Valentine's Day that he made all by himself." She spoke excitedly. "He was very nice and read with me." All Emily could think was, "Leave it to Charlie to tell them everything she wasn't planning on telling." Oh well…

"He came over?" Garcia looked scandalized, more scandalized that she didn't know than the fact that she could only imagine the reasons; reasons she'd like to believe were meant for a naughty girl. But she saw it as a matchmaking plan where Emily saw it as moving toward territory she wasn't ready or able to explain.

Seeing Charlie was about to answer and not wanting anything else incriminating to be said, Emily quickly cut her off. "Yes, he came over. He was visiting Hotch and stopped by to give me the invite because mine wasn't mailed with the rest since he didn't get my address on time and he wanted to make sure I got it. And since we're on the subject Garcia, we need to discuss your willingness to give out my personal information." The blonde looked guilty but knew Emily only brought it up again to change the subject.

"So, do you think Hotch would let us take the jet?" Garcia tried to break the weird atmosphere.

"For some reason, I don't think Strauss would approve." The rest of their lunch was jovial and normal. They had a good time.

Fast forward a few weeks and it was almost time for the opening. In that time, Morgan surprised her with his hard work on the basement. She didn't expect what she got. She figured it would be painted and spruced up a bit; decorated, but she got a whole remodel. It was separated into two different rooms. One was for Charlie. According to Morgan it was, "a playroom for her to be messy in." What he failed to realize was that Charlie wasn't the average kid and messes, while they did happen, just weren't her thing. Either way, they room came out great. That was the one painted yellow, decorated to Charlie's liking with a chalk paint wall for her and her friends to draw on, an old table that was previously stored down there, and toys everywhere. He really went all out. That thought was only magnified when she saw the next room; a room for her. It was a gym filled with everything and anything she'd need to be back to her ass kicking self. It was set up a lot like the BAU gym, only condensed and house appropriate. A small sparing area, punching bag, all her equipment; it was perfect. And he made a promise to help her train whenever he could. He kept that promise coming over nearly every free day to train with her and spend time with Charlie. Things were good. The surprise surprisingly surpassed all expectations.

Therapy, on the other hand, was just that; therapy. She went, she participated, and she hated it. She knew she would. Every issue they discussed, reliving everything with Doyle more than in the dreams she didn't talk about… It was all too much. She didn't like being so vulnerable, especially in front of someone she barely knew. But she had to do it. She had to remind herself all the time that it was necessary. Sitting there, talking about issue after issue from her childhood to her nail biting was exhausting and not something she was used to. Luckily, Emily had yet to mention anything about Hotch and Charlie's relationship. That was not a topic she wanted to delve into yet; maybe never. Eventually, she'd slip up and say something, but until them, she was just getting by. She did what she needed, she talked, and, in all honesty, it did help. There was still trouble sleeping and there were still nightmares, but the doctor helped her realize something. The nightmares would always be right there, just below the surface, hidden under the scars; there just to remind her of both her failures and successes. Everybody had them, everybody dealt with them. It was the way of the world and she'd get through it.

And there they were, getting through it. It was the 11th, the Friday before the opening when they flew out to New York. Emily wanted to surprise Charlie so they flew out early. And when they got off the plane, there was someone waiting for them. "Car for Prentiss." He said in his English brogue. The girls smiled and as Emily went in for the hug, Charlie just ran and threw herself onto Clyde's legs.

"I missed you! Mommy didn't tell me you were coming."

"Hello Charlie. I missed you too. Why don't you let me greet your mother and we'll be on our way?" She nodded and Clyde went to hug Emily.

"It's good to see you again Clyde."

"You too. Let's go show the kid around." They looked like a family as they made their way around the city. Charlie particularly loved the visit to FAO Schwartz that they'd be repeating with Henry once they arrived. Emily planned so much for them to cram into their short vacation. It was a much needed break from life and, while travelling growing up really sucked, Emily wanted Charlie to have to good experiences and see the world. She'd just make sure Charlie as a little more tame in her endeavors.

The point was, they had a good time and Emily and Clyde enjoyed a little catching up; both avoiding the deep stuff for the first night. But in the morning, that changed. After ordering room service, the three took a walk through Central Park. Charlie went on the carousel a few times lucky it was even open since it was out of season and only open sporadically until April. Then they went to the children's petting zoo. And as Charlie played with the little animals, Clyde and Emily watched from a nearby bench.

"Have you talked to him?" They moved on from talks about his current assignments and things going on in his life to more pressing matters that he felt warranted addressing.

"No." She needed no clarification. Clyde knew all about her situation and, while she still didn't like to talk about it, she told him enough.

"But he knows and he's not here."

"Not with us, no, but he is here or coming."

"What does he want?" Emily explained her theory, her ideas about who had been behind the wheel of that car and why; she was still a little unclear on the why. That part was fuzzy. "So the plate you had me run?"

"I'm pretty sure it was his. And I've seen him a few times when I go into the office and every time I see him I swear he wants to say something to me."

"Maybe you should go to him."

"Maybe I should do nothing."

"Emily darling, listen to me. You've wanted him in her life from the beginning. Now he knows and, I'd love to beat his bloody skull for what he did when he found out, but if he wants to talk, you should indulge him."

"And why should I do that?"

"Because you want to. Don't tell me whatever rubbish you're about to. I know you do."

"Clyde, we talked about this. He needs to be a man and come to me. I will not let her get hurt. He can say whatever he wants to me and about me, but nothing when it comes to her." He just huffed and listened to her go on. No matter what he said, she was too stubborn to hear it, so it was better to just listen and convince her some other way. Usually she would be more level headed and at least hear the other side, but anything that involved Charlie was an exception. He'd force them to talk… somehow. "Sometimes I wish you were her father. You might as well be. You've been there for her."

"And I always will be, father or not." He stood and held out a hand. "Let's go."

They managed the rest of the evening without talking about it again. They met up with the rest of the group, minus Hotch who Emily was told took Jack to visit with his mother and brother, JJ and Garcia weren't expecting Clyde to be there, Morgan even teased her a little about it, jokes with romantic undertones that Reid really didn't get. And Rossi kept a protective eye on her; very fatherly. For the first time, things felt truly normal. With the exception of Hotch and that whole situation, they were finally a family again; together and whole. They were going to enjoy it.

All decked out in formal attire, the group found their way to the restaurant. The kids wouldn't make it long, but they wanted to go. Charlie and Henry even looked like a mini couple; his tie matching her dress. It was adorable and completely unplanned. Clyde was essentially Emily's date, something Garcia liked to point out. If she couldn't get Emily with Sean, Clyde was a good choice too. They looked good together, knew each other, and were comfortable with each other. She wondered if they've ever slept together.

When they entered the rather crowded restaurant, a space Emily made note to tell Sean was beautifully done and just as he described, they were immediately waved over. "Hey everyone, I'm glad you could make it. Hi Charlie." She waved with a big smile on her face. "And you must be Henry. I haven't seen you since you were a baby."

"Say hi Henry." Will and JJ instructed

"Hi."

"Hey JJ, Will. Good to see you again Derek, Spencer, and Dave, it sure has been a while." As he said each of their names he shook their hand. "And Emily, I'm really happy you decided to come."

"Me too." She said and returned his hug. "Sean this is my friend Clyde. Clyde this is Sean."

Clyde shook the man's hand and leaned in to whisper in Emily's ear. "That's the uncle?" She just nodded.

"Well, it's a busy night for me so I'm going to be scattered, but Aaron's just over there at a table with Jack and my mom. Why don't you all join them?" He made it a point to give Emily a look as he said it, urging her to talk to him.

Clyde's arm draped around her waist and Charlie took her hand as they fell into step with the rest of the group and made their way to the table. Charlie and Henry immediately flocked toward Jack as the adults sat down and said their hellos to the boss and his mother. "It's nice to meet you Mrs. Hotchner."

"Helen please dear."

"Emily." She responded.

"It's nice to meet you." There was something on her face that Emily just couldn't understand. She was looking at Emily with a glint in her eyes that she just couldn't figure out.

Helen kindly excused herself from the table and allowed the team to talk amongst themselves. Hotch was pretty quiet, spending his time alternating from staring at the kids to looking over to Emily, only adding a few thoughts every now and then. Emily did the same while trying to keep some talk up with Clyde, who she wouldn't let leave her side, and just listened to JJ and Will's conversation with Rossi or Kevin getting a little upset with the dysfunctional flirtiness that was the Garcia Morgan relationship. It was entertaining.

But what really caught her attention was the kids table. She was in direct line of sight and could see everything. Jack and Henry were playing with some toy one of them brought leaving Charlie to fend for herself. But she wasn't alone. Helen was sitting with them. More specifically, Charlie was sitting with her. Charlie was sitting on Helen's lap and it looked like they were just talking, smiling, laughing, doing things a grandma would do with her grandchild; things she probably did do with Jack.

Emily found herself staring. She wanted them to have that whenever, but it was up to Hotch to allow his family into her life and accept her into his. And since she didn't know if that would ever happen, she was just enjoying the moment, listening to the music in the background as the scene played out like something from a heartwarming family movie.

Hotch caught her gaze and followed it, soon staring just like she was right at his mom and daughter, practically cuddled up at a nearby table. They looked like they were family. And they were; he had to remind himself. Not that he could ever forget, it was just something he tried and failed to not think about. And once he turned his eyes away, looking back at Emily, he realized he couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't sit back and do nothing. He wasn't just denying him the right to know her, but his son, his mother, and his brother too.

He hadn't been to her house. He returned the car realizing just how extreme he took it. The crazy he had become wasn't lost on him. He didn't like it. It wasn't him. He couldn't do it. He had been trying to find a way to her, an easy way that wouldn't lead to fighting, but everything he came up with didn't work. He was tired of it; of not being himself, of being something he never wanted to be of living a separate life from the one he wanted to be a part of. He needed to be her father. She needed it too. He needed to help her feel the love he had for her. Because he did love her. He did. He may have questioned it, doubted himself and his abilities, but things changed. He changed, and it was time to change the situation. There was no more living with things the way they were. It was just sad that it took his, formerly, immature brother becoming the voice of reason, the loss of his sanity, and seeing his mother and everybody else spending time with Charlie for him to finally make a move. But, whatever got him there, he was going to do it. Things were about to change again, and it was a change that would be dictated, or at least started, by his hand.

He was in the midst of a breakdown and he wouldn't let it go any further. There was enough spiraling. But there were too many people surrounding them, most of them his friends or family, to do anything there. He had to figure it out, and if he could, he wanted to do it before leaving New York. It was neutral territory, the perfect place to hash things out. And he'd work out the plan as he tried to enjoy the rest of the night.

While he had his doubts about Sean and his life ambitions, the night seemed like a success. Even the kids, who really didn't know what the party was for or why they were there, were all having fun. But they were tired too. The night was growing later. Couples were dancing to the live quartet in an area that was cleared out just for the night. And others were imbibing just a little too much, the team included although not too overindulgent. The children were nearly asleep. His mother happened to be tending to them with Emily. All he did was watch. That was all he ever did. Wait and watch…

Emily went over to see Charlie as Clyde went to fetch them a drink. They weren't going to overdo it, but it was an open bar and they all decided to take advantage of that fact. Even so, she wanted to spend a little more time with her favorite girl before the night was up. As she walked over to the table, she could see JJ and Will dancing alongside Derek and Garcia. She wondered what Kevin had to say about that. She got her answer when the nerdy boy made his plea to cut in and Morgan found some nameless woman to dance with. He was good with the ladies. Even Reid and Rossi were doing ok. So with a smile, she sat next to Charlie. "Hey Charlie, getting tired?"

"No." She insisted. "I'm not tired." Emily highly doubted that statement, but she let it slide.

"Did you like your dessert?"

She vigorously nodded. "It was even better than the chocolates."

"That means it was very good."

"It was." Charlie looked over to where the boys were playing and turned to Emily. "Mama, can I go play?"

"For a little while."

"Ok." Charlie went to play with Jack and Henry as Emily took a seat across from Helen.

"How are you doing sweetie? Aaron told me about the unfortunate incident at work. I was glad he wanted to be there for you."

"Me too." For whatever time he was there… "And I'm doing well. If all goes well, I get back to work Thursday." A half week to readjust…

"That's wonderful." The two talked for a little while, learning about each other and the lives they led. It was nice for Emily to learn a little more about Charlie's extended family. She didn't have much of that, so it was actually a welcomed change to get to know her a little. At least if Charlie asked questions one day, she'd have some answers.

"It's nice to finally put a face to the woman my son seems so smitten with."

"What?" Emily thought she didn't understand or didn't hear her right. They went from small talk to her son's feelings toward her just like that.

"Oh yes, he talks about you all the time. You and your little girl." Aaron talked about her? Them? To his mother?

"Oh yeah?" She didn't know what to say. What exactly was she told?

"Yes, Sean told me he went to visit his brother and ran into you. He fell in love with your Charlie there. She's precious by the way." Emily just smile and nodded. Disappointedly she realized it was Sean, not Aaron talking about her. And if she learned anything about him at all, if her profiling skills were worth anything, him talking about them wasn't because he liked her, not romantically, but because he was giving his mother second hand information about the child's life she was missing out on being a part of. He may have been the family delinquent, but he had a good heart and a caring soul. He was doing what he could. "If he wasn't in a relationship I knew he was happy with, I'd be getting his brother to fix the two of you up."

"That's… that's very sweet. I think."

"You two would be good together. Visiting you made him like kids, so I should be thanking you. I might finally get that granddaughter I wanted. Or another grandson. I'd like that too." Guilt. She felt guilt. Not able to say anything, she put a ghost of a smile on her face and simply nodded. "Maybe you should give Aaron a try. He could use someone now that he's not with Haley anymore." The woman was trying to kill her. That was the only reasonable explanation for the turn of events. Why was everyone trying to pimp her out? Was she that pathetic?

"I think he's ok without me." As if God sent him back to her to save her from the conversation, Clyde returned.

"Your drink." He handed her a champagne flute.

"Thanks Clyde." He took the seat next to Emily and endured a few questions from Mrs. Hotchner before the children returned.

"Care to dance." Clyde asked. Emily was reluctant, looking to Charlie and Henry who she told JJ she'd look after as she danced with Will.

"It's ok dear, I'll watch them." They should've been asleep hours ago. They were only up because they were fighting it, trying to be a part of the celebration. She deduced that they wouldn't be any trouble. Helen was capable.

"Thank you."

She didn't know how long they were dancing as Clyde held her tight and made her feel safe, but it must've been a good amount of time. As he turned her she noticed that JJ and Will were picking up a sleeping Henry, Kevin and Garcia were already gone, Morgan, Rossi, and Reid seemed to be MIA as well, and Charlie and Jack were cuddled up on Helen's lap sleeping.

"I should get her back to the hotel."

Clyde, seeing a gentleman approaching said, "Let me. You stay."

"No Clyde, we can go together."

Leaning down just a little, he whispered, "Talk to him."

"What?" She asked as he pulled away. "Clyde?"

"Emily?" That wasn't Clyde. She turned to face him. "Dance with me?" Not knowing what else to say and not having the heart to say no, she simply nodded.

For a while, things were peaceful. He held her much like Clyde did, much like that night all those years ago, and being there in his arms made her temporarily forget their predicament. They were both lost in the moment, stuck in the past, and relishing the good things they were feeling. But the calm quickly dissipated and the feelings returned.

"I know it was you." She whispered quietly in his ear as she rested her head on his shoulder. It wasn't the right venue for the conversation. And she wouldn't make a scene, but it was definitely the right time.

"What?" He asked confused.

"Mystery friend Hotch. Really?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." He continued to sway her making it look like an innocent dance shared between coworkers rather than, essentially, the lover's spat it was becoming.

Keeping her voice calm she responded, "You gave her a book that meant something to you." She exhaled. "You practically stalked us." He knew he shouldn't have done that. He underestimated her. He thought it was a close call not a blown mission.

"Come with me."

"Where?"

"Back to my room."

"Why, and what about Jack?"

"We need to talk and Jack is with my mother. He'll be fine."

"I have Charlie."

"Charlie's with Clyde." He reminded her. "It's important." He pleaded. "Please." She hesitantly agreed. Grabbing her clutch, she allowed him to guide her out, his hand resting on her lower back as he led the way. Luckily, their hotel was just a block or two away; same hotel different floor.

Nothing was said the entire way. Even as he fumbled with the keys, they stayed silent. The first word uttered was, "Drink?"

"Why not? I could use it?" Hotch took a few bottles from the mini bar and handed her one. There was no sipping for them. They were both nervous and a shot of the hard stuff was sure to help. "Why?" Emily asked, tearing the silence that settled to shreds.

"Why what?" He stood across the room as Emily sat at the edge of the bed.

"Why? Why do it? Why watch our house? Why follow her? Why give her that book or take that picture?"

"I… I don't know."

"That's not a good enough answer!" She yelled. There was no more pussyfooting.

"Then what kind of answer do you want?"

"You're so frustrating."

"And you're not?"

"I shouldn't have to tell you how to answer. You should just know."

"Like I was supposed to just know that I had a daughter?"

"Damn it Hotch!" Her hands were digging into her legs, her fingernails nearly drawing blood. They were both being consumed by the anger they repressed. Emily never really dealt with Hotch's reaction. She was upset, but because of Charlie, she put up a front, compartmentalized, and only had the nightmares to remind her. But her tricks weren't working anymore. Not for her or him. Because he too wasn't dealing. He became a sociopath in training to deal with the way he acted and what he refused. They both needed to let it out, however they could. "You were supposed to know. I was supposed to tell you. We've had this conversation. Nothing I can say will be different. Nothing is changed."

"Everything is changed Emily. I have a daughter!"

"I know!" She was gripping a pillow now, staying seated so she didn't react in a way she'd regret later. "A daughter you refused to accept!" Her tactics weren't working. Somehow, by a force out of her control, she found her hand in the air and the pillow being whizzed in Hotch's direction.

At first he just stood there, stunned that a subordinate would do that; that Emily would do that. But he realized she was more than just a colleague and he needed to accept that. They both tried to believe they were nothing more than coworkers. That was what they tried to convince themselves for years, but they had a bond through their child and their past. They had a connection they ignored. They had a few perfect moments they subdued. They were stuck in an emotional tornado, spinning in the funnel cloud of emotion just trying to decipher one feeling from another.

After he regained function, he responded to her outburst by throwing the empty glass in his hand at the wall. They were behaving inappropriately, like children throwing a tantrum, but it just happened. She threw, he had to throw back. "A daughter you refused me!" He retorted.

They went back and forth in their tirade of snide comments and insults intermittently adding something that got them somewhere. It was a one step forward two steps back type situation. Occasionally they'd throw a thing or two. There was lots of yelling and foul language. But the conversation, as aggressive and necessary as it was, quickly went from the topic at hand to something else. It veered off topic to more direct personal insults. It wasn't about their actions with Charlie; it was about each other, their quirks and their faults.

"You do this stupid hair thing that drives me nuts." Hotch said. They were nitpicking at that point. All the major flaws were out in the open and they were working on those annoying habits that just got under their skin. And the reason it bothered them so much probably had more to do with how it made them feel than actually being a bother.

"What hair thing? I don't do a hair thing." She defended, not knowing what he was talking about or why they were talking about it.

"You do. Charlie too. It's annoying and perfect and very you. But you do it, especially when you're uncomfortable."

"No I don't." She insisted.

"Yes you do."

"Fine and you do this…" He cut her off, slamming his lips against hers. It was definitely the wrong move, but he went against every logical thought he had and just gave in. His emotions were overwhelming and his actions were out of his control. They just had to give in.

**Paget Brewster's going to be on SVU. She'll be on the premiere episode that premieres the same time CM does September 26****th****. And I think the role is recurring or at least a multi episode arc. **

**Ok, so this chapter was supposed to be out on Thursday, but I didn't get to finish editing before I went out to celebrate my birthday. And I cut the final scene that I wrote specifically for me as an "I wish this would happen on the show" birthday present. Also, I'm a little evil for leaving things the way I did. I have the scene that follows the kiss already written for this chapter but decided to add it to the next. I also took out a lot of dialogue and team stuff to make room for a little Hotly. I don't know if I'm thoroughly happy with the way it turned out, but whatever. **

**Originally, I was going to make the man in the unmarked car a PI that Hotch hired, but people wanted him to be Hotch and it partly ties into something else, I think, we shall see. But I always wanted the book to be from him, it was like little breadcrumbs to a relationship with the Prentiss family.**

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**


	22. Can't be Shoved in a Box

_I do not own Criminal Minds, only the characters I have created in that world._

**I worked way too long and way too hard on this for it to be removed because of picking the wrong rating or not putting a disclaimer, to be safe, the rating was changed from T to M. According to guidelines, it should be M. Once I changed it, I edited it a little making it more worthy of the title, but nothing graphic really. Not at all I don't think. Also, if you left a review last chapter, check out the bottom of the page.**

Chapter 22: Can't be Shoved in a Box

"You're home early darling." Clyde teased as he lay in bed and watched Emily hazily make her way into her room. All she wanted was to shower and sleep, but the shower would hold until morning. Sleep first.

"It's too early for your snarky British commentary Clyde." She bit.

"Nonsense, it's nearly 5:30. That's not that early. Unless…" He started, a smirk playing on his lips. "It was a late night."

"Don't say it like that Clyde. Nothing happened."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Do you want to tell me about it? I'd like to be prepared for another Charlie in the future. Maybe you could move to London with me."

"What?" What the hell was going on? She spaced out for one second and she was pregnant and moving to London. When did that happen?

"Relax darling. I'm kidding. You said nothing happened, and I believe you. Now come to bed. We have to get up early." Just doing that thing they did, he teased her further, pulling off the covers and holding them up, scooting over in his bed to make room in a way that said, "Come in, I'm waiting."

"Oh, come on Clyde."

"No cuddling with me tonight? Did you… get enough elsewhere?"

"Leave it alone."

"Oh, do share. Who has taken over my job?"

"No one else wants the job Clyde." She admonished. "And right now, I don't want anyone else to have it." The last part came out quietly like she wasn't sure she wanted him to hear. She didn't think she did. Emily grabbed some clothes to change into and headed silently for the bathroom. When she returned, she said nothing. Everything was catching up with her and she wanted nothing more than a little sleep and a bout of mild amnesia. Clyde just watched her fidget and move about aimlessly. He knew something happened, and he'd get it out of her, but first he wanted her to be ok. The only way he knew to do that was to be normal, to tease her, to throw out a little innuendo, and to just be him. That was their relationship. It was symbiotic and the closest thing they've both ever had to husband and wife. So it was long distance, it was still good.

"Seriously love, come get some rest. If your friends see you walking around like that, they're going to know all about your dirty dealings and you'll have a lot of explaining to do. I doubt they'd stop until you told them everything. Not everyone's as brilliant as me Emily."

"Not everyone's as great as you Clyde, I know." She said somberly. Her emotions were mixed. She didn't know how she felt about what happened that night and even the easy banter and playful teasing wasn't helping. She was lost, confused, feeling everything and nothing all at once. What was she supposed to do with that?

Sensing the sadness to her demeanor, Clyde felt it necessary to comfort her. He was generally deemed the bad guy, the hard ass, just someone people could do without, but when it came to them, to Emily and Charlie, he was anything but. They were family to him. They loved him and he loved them. He wouldn't have had it any other way. No matter who else came into their lives or what was going on, he knew that he'd always have a role that couldn't be filled by anyone but him and he knew that he'd always be there for them. There was no other way. "Em?" He quietly called for her minding the sleeping child in the bed right next to him. "What's wrong?"

At first she ignored him. That wasn't her intention, but everything felt like it was coming at her all at once and if she spoke, it'd all pour out. So, she didn't speak at all. Instead, after putting on her pajamas, she slipped into bed with Charlie, lying on her side back to Clyde and her hand hanging around Charlie's body. She was comforted by her daughter's instinctual leaning, scooting just a little bit closer as soon as she felt Emily next to her. Then she felt the bed dip and turned to face him as he climbed into bed next to her. He could see her eyes misted and felt a little guilty. Maybe making them talk was a bad idea. He thought something good would come out of it and assumed things were going well since she was gone for some time.

Feeling him envelop her and Charlie unknowingly hold her hand, she just let it go. She let it out, quietly releasing the tears she had been holding. She was once so good at keeping it all hidden. He gave her what she needed and pulled her closer before whispering in her ear. "Tell me what happened?"

"I don't… I don't even know."

"Who were you with?" He had to make sure.

"You know who I was with Clyde." She said with slight hints of reproach before trying to change the subject. "Did she go to sleep alright?"

"Woke up on the way to the room then went right back to sleep. She's an angel, unlike you who's trying to change the topic. Tell me what happened."

"I'm not sure what happened or why. It all kind of just did like one big blur. And I really don't want to talk about it. Not yet…"

"Did you at least talk to him?"

"There was some talking." She answered honestly; kind of.

"Alright, just tell me." He looked at her with complete seriousness. "Do I need to find a place to bury the body? This isn't my home field, but I'm sure I can find a suitable dump site."

Laughing a little through the tears, she maneuvered her head so she was really looking at him. "Thank you."

Shaking his head in acknowledgement, he responded, "Get some sleep. I wasn't joking about the way you were walking."

"You're an ass Clyde."

"Then it's a good thing you like my ass,"

"Goodnight."

"Good morning."

"You know, I do love you Clyde. You have always been there for me, for us."

"I love you too darling. Now get some sleep."

It took some doing to ease her racing mind, but eventually, she fell into a fitful slumber. Her mind was trying to work out everything that had happened; everything with Hotch and everything with her. There was a lot to sift through and it wasn't exactly conducive to sleep. But she managed, still groaning when the alarm went off at eight. To her surprise, she was the only one that wasn't awake. And when she opened her eyes, Charlie was dressed and ready, staring at her like she was crazy. "You moved around a lot in your sleep and you made noises too."

"I did?' She questioned. Charlie nodded. "Did I wake you?"

"Only once, but it's ok."

"I'm sorry baby."

"It's ok mommy. Are you getting up now?"

"Mmhmm." She mumbled. "Why are you all dressed?" Emily asked curiously.

With a toothy grin Charlie answered, "I'm having a Clyde day!"

"A Clyde day? What's that and where is Clyde?" She didn't see him as she looked around the room.

"He said he wanted to take a shower so you could take as long as you want washing the night away when you woke up." Emily rolled her eyes. Leave it to Clyde… "How can you wash night?"

"It's a saying. You never told me what a Clyde day is?"

"We're going to spend all day together until we leave. Do we really have to leave today?" She pouted. "I don't want him to go home. I want him to come with us."

"I know sweetie, but we'll see him again soon." Before she could say anything else, a fully laundered and dressed Clyde walked out of the bathroom.

"Ah, look who decided to wake up. Good morning Em."

"Morning Clyde. I heard you were kidnapping Charlie for the day."

"Not the entire day, just the morning while you're out with the girls. You can join us after."

"Yeah mommy!" Charlie added. "You can come too after you're done."

"We'll figure that out later. Right now I'm going to shower. You," she moved to Charlie, cupping the girl's chin, "give me a kiss." Charlie got on her knees to elevate herself a little more and kissed Emily. "And you," she pointed to Clyde, "keep your phone on. I'll call when I'm finished."

"Take your time."

By the time Emily was finished drowning away the everything she was feeling, Charlie and Clyde were gone and she was already behind. She had to meet Garcia and JJ in ten minutes and she was nowhere near prepared. In a rush job, she blew out her hair, applied a little makeup to cover up the bags under her eyes, and dressed in something suitable; nice but not too much. Slipping on her pumps, she nearly ran out of the room and to the restaurant across the street. It was a nice place they saw when they arrived, even if they came separately, and that was where they wanted to have breakfast; just the girls. The boys could've had their own day.

She hurried out of the hotel and through the busy street and into the restaurant. The maître d' showed her to her friends who looked at her curiously. The rush didn't help her sore body. Too much vigorous activity… Walking a little feebly on her feet, Emily joined them at the table. "I'm sorry I'm late."

"It's ok. We were worried though. I tried calling."

"I didn't even hear it ring. Sorry."

"It's alright Gumdrop, we're just happy we didn't have to send the cavalry after you." Garcia joked. For a few minutes, they just chatted a little about Sean and the opening. Everyone had a good time. Emily wasn't sure what she'd call the ending to her night though. "What's wrong?" Penelope noticed a wince in Emily's movement. "Are you ok?" Garcia asked worriedly. "You hurt yourself again didn't you? Stupid Derek. I knew that gym was a bad idea. You overdid it and now you're hurting. What did you do? How hard was it?" Emily blushed at the innuendo, something JJ picked up on.

With a pesky smile and her blue eyes twinkling, JJ said, "Better question… What kind of workout was it?"

"Jayje, I love our little Gumdrop here, but she's not getting any. She spends all her time being a good mother and chasing bad boys. She wouldn't just do the hit and run. Not our Em here." Emily was assuming that was a compliment. She wasn't a slut…

"I slept with someone last night." Emily said quickly and quietly, looking away from her friends. She suddenly found the terrible painting on the wall oddly fascinating. She regretted saying it the moment it came out.

"Who?!" The blondes both screamed, effectively drawing the attention of the restaurant. "Was it Clyde? Was he good? And by slept you did mean the horizontal tango right?" Garcia added.

Before Emily could say anything, a young woman walked up to their table. "Hi, I'm Kelly. I'll be your waitress today. Are you ready to order?"

"Sugar, I love that you have timely service in this lovely abode, but this is the one time we'd like you to slack off. Give us ten please and bring coffee when you come back." The waitress nodded a little dumbfounded and walked away. "Now that she's gone, we need details. And don't leave anything out. I need who, what, when, where, and hell, let's throw in why and how for good measure. How did it happen?"

"I don't know it just happened."

"Sex doesn't just happen. The little mister doesn't just pop up, well maybe it does, but clothes don't just fall off and it wasn't like mystery man just happened to trip and fall inside of you on the way down."

"Penelope!" Emily was blushing. "No, he didn't 'fall inside of me.' Wow, you really know how to make me feel like an awkward teen about to have the sex talk with my nanny because my mom was too busy to give it." And even then it was given too late.

"Aww, honey, I'm sorry. But you love me for it." She sounded sincere, but quickly reverted back to the gossip monger. "Now spill. I want deets. I need to know everything. Was it good?" JJ gave a childish giggle.

"You're not helping JJ."

"I can't help that I want to know too. "

"Oh, great." Emily said sardonically. "You're teaming up on me."

"Deal with it." JJ said. "We're your friends and we want to know what goes on in your life; the good the bad and the sexy. And besides Garcia's over sharing, I don't get to live vicariously through anyone. So please, out with it."

"Really, you too?" JJ and Garcia leaned in a little closer as they nodded and urged her to speak.

"We're waiting…"

"_You do this hair thing that drives me nuts."_

"_What hair thing? I don't do a hair thing."_

"_You do. It's annoying and perfect and you. But you do it, especially when you're uncomfortable."_

"_No I don't."_

"_Yes you do."_

"_Fine and you do…" He cut her off, slamming his lips against hers. It was definitely the wrong move, but he went against every logical thought he had and just gave in. His emotions were overwhelming and his actions were out of his control. They just had to give in. Emily was stunned but only put up a little fight. And when met with any protest, he just deepened the kiss, Emily's body giving in as he pushed her down onto the bed, his body over hers._

_But she didn't concede for long. "Ho… Hotch." She said as she broke the kiss, pushed him off of her and up until they were both standing a few feet from the bed; a safe distance. "What the hell was that?"_

"_I… I don't know." They just stared into each other's eyes until he leaned in for another kiss. Her hand snapped up and slapped him. She couldn't believe she did that. But the burn in her hand and the look on his face… It was like it needed to be done. Was it wrong? Probably, but it felt good. _

"_That's your answer for everything isn't it?" She was not in control of her body. But the slap only fueled their fire. "I don't know." She mocked. "You just kiss me and everything's fine again?"_

_Once he wrapped his head around it and the sting of the slap subsided, he responded by grabbing her. "Maybe." He wrapped his hands around her biceps and roughly moved her back toward the bed. "Maybe." He repeated and once again brought his lips to hers. This time she caved under him, the weight of his body and the force of his hold pushed her down. She was fighting the conflicting emotions. Her body was telling her to go for it, willing her to do it, but her mind was being logical. "It's wrong." It told her. Which did she listen to? She had to make a choice soon though, as his hand ran up her shoulder to the falling strap of her dress, the other resting near the zipper. "You looked so good in this dress. But right now, all I could think of is you out of it."_

"_So take it off." She whispered breathlessly, her body outweighing her mind._

"I saw someone." Emily stated. "And things happened."

"Meaning?"

"Seriously E, we need a little more than that. Was it like an 'I'm in town and in need of a little loving' booty call? Was it some random encounter? You dirty girl."

"I was hoping to see a friend while we were in town. I ended up seeing his twin. They may look the same, but they are in no way the same person. My friend," Aaron, "is a great guy, very loving and caring and a gentleman. But the other," Hotch aka boss man Mr. Cold, "isn't. He's impersonal and has a tendency to be cold; emotionally stunted. Sometimes he's a little rough. But I know, somewhere under all that rock is a gooey center."

"So you had sex with him?"

"Yeah ok, let's leave it at that. How was your night?"

"No, no, no. I don't think so. You can't leave it like that Em, especially when it sounds like a telanovela version of Reid's evil twin eviler twin theory."

"Jayje is right. I need the intimate details. Where were you? How'd you run into him? Was it deliciously good?"

"I went. I saw. I was conquered."

"Is that why you're so sore?"

"That still doesn't tell us anything!" Garcia commented.

"I saw him after everyone left." Emily started the blondes now at full attention. "Clyde and I were dancing. Charlie was asleep and I was about to take her back to the hotel when he walked up to us. Clyde knew him and told me to stay. He'd look after her. And that's it."

"That is not it!"

"You danced with him didn't you?" JJ asked remembering the story of Charlie's father. "What is it with you and dancing that makes you…"

"Please don't finish that sentence."

"What is she talking about Gumdrop? Who else made your panties drop after dancing?"

"See what you did Jayje." She shrugged. "You get one story. I can tell you who else, or I can give you now."

"I'll get the rest from you later. What happened last night?"

"We danced and he told me we needed to talk. He was right. We did. The last time we saw each other we didn't exactly leave things on good terms."

"Oh, juicy. This is what I need more of. What's bad terms in Prentiss Land?"

"I did something. He said some things. And neither of us could forgive the other. We still haven't worked through it."

"You just had sex." Emily nodded.

"The last time we…" She cut herself off realizing what she was about to say. The last time they had sex wasn't a topic she wanted to get into. Charlie she'd talk about. Conception she wouldn't.

"The last time you what?" JJ asked, picking up on subtle hints that there was more to the encounter than fighting and physical contact. Something was vaguely familiar about all of it, the man, the look in her eyes, and the way she spoke.

"Nothing." JJ squinted her eyes in a knowing glare and let the topic go. She'd corner Emily when they were alone back home. "He asked me to his place for more privacy." She neglected to mention it was the same hotel they were at. "And we started talking. Talking turned to yelling. Yelling turned to…"

"Sexy time?"

"No, I hit him."

"You hit him? Is that some type of kinky dominatrix type foreplay for him or… or you?" They laughed. Leave it to Garcia to think that.

"No, he kissed me and I hit him."

"Why? Was it a bad kiss?"

"It really had nothing to do with the kiss."

"_So take it off." She whispered breathlessly, her body outweighing her mind as their hot breath sent a tingling sensation through their bodies as he pulled her up to him. _

_No hesitating, senses running wild, he sensually pulled on the zipper, allowing the soft material to fall to the ground; an action very reminiscent of before, the last time. But that was the only gentle action of the night. They paused for a moment, staring into each others' eyes. They both saw lust and want, but also pain. They saw their own feelings reflected back. But the pain was the most prevalent. He was hurt because of a secret kept and the disappointment he felt in himself. She was hurting because of his actions, her actions, and the effects they could have on her daughter. Thinking about it made her want to slap him again and made him try to grasp her harder._

_Her hands roughly went to work on his buttons, frustration causing her to rip the last few open and pull the shirt from his body with malice. Pushing him off of her with what meek strength she could at the moment, she worked on his belt and pants. There was nothing soft about that night, nothing less than brute, but caring force. Roughness was what the night called for. If they were going to do it, they were doing it right, and rough was what they needed to let out the aggression and pain they buried. And who better to take it out on than the object of said aggression?_

_Stripped down into nothing but their underwear, the fun began. Their bodies fought for dominance, wrestling each other to whatever hard surface they could find. She needed the control she lost with him, and he needed the control he never felt with her. She pushed him up against the wall putting all her weight into keeping him prisoner there as she painted his neck with powerful kisses. Careful to stop and nibble on a particular point she knew drove him wild, she let a hand make its way lower until she heard him moan under her touch._

_The actions were returned as Hotch shoved her away, freeing himself from the wall and turning the tables. He lifted her up, slamming her back against a table edge until she was practically forced to wrap her legs around his waist as she emitted a hiss of pain. He laid her down on the table and ferociously ravaged her body with wet sloppy kisses and grips of steel. Under his grasp, she was his. He was unconsciously marking her as he was sure she would be marking him. _

_His tongue glided over her taut body, his hand slipping lower and lower teasing her like her hand was teasing him. They were torturing each other, toying with the line of aggression and pleasure, of love and hate, or fun and pain. They wanted it all, they used it all. And they would soon feel it all as the final pieces of their clothes came off. Still on the table, Hotch used the mouth he should've used for talking to satisfy another need, listening carefully to her breathy gasps and feeling her nails embed in his skin as she came for him. _

_Somehow, Emily found her strength shortly after that and once again found herself in a fight for dominance. Neither wanted to relinquish all control, so it was a continuous battle. It was a battle of kisses, scratches, tugging and tearing, even ill timed insults in between gasps and moans. Insults aside, they weren't doing what they set out to do. Their talking wasn't anything productive, but it was what they were doing; fighting and teasing as they urged each other to the bed. _

_Lying in their naked bliss, doing a dance known only to lovers, they didn't have time to think. They just did. The room was a mess. The bed was unmade. Things were scattered about in the destruction they left in their wake. They were going to do it. No questions asked. However wrong it may have been, however wrong the reasons, they wanted it. They wanted each other in that moment. And neither hesitated to take what they wanted. _

_He entered her with loving force and listened for her whimpers. His ministrations never ceased as he delighted in her pleasure. It was a fuel for his own fire and his fire was burning hard. The sounds of their sex colliding filled the air along with the aroma of their rediscovered carnal knowledge as they built up to a high like never before matching each other thrust for thrust with as much power as they could. Once finished worshiping each other's bodies, reaching oblivion together, they settled back panting for air. But they weren't done. There was more to come. They just needed a break before they did a little more discovering. _

"_This doesn't mean I forgive you."_

"_It doesn't mean I forgive you either." _

_There was enough waiting. They lay there, side by side turning to look into each other's eyes. Whatever they were feeling, whatever resentment and anger they had, they were going to take it out on each others' bodies. In the best way possible… There'd be no violence, though it might've been rough and hard. It was what they needed. _

"_Tired already?" He asked, a hand caressing her exposed thigh. _

"_Relax; I'm just getting my stamina back. This is good physical therapy. The doctor recommends it." She responded playfully leaning into his touch as his hand went higher. She moved her hand to do the same to him._

"_Did he?"_

"_Uh huh…" _

"_Then we should listen to him."_

"_We should." That was the most civil conversation they had in some time, unfortunately, it wasn't about anything substantial and it didn't last very long. His fingers teased her folds as hers played with his manhood. They were oddly intimate and comfortable for such estranged parents and very distant lovers, but there had always been that sense of security between them. That allowed them to whatever and be ok. And whatever they did… many times. _

She was nearly drooling at the thought, but she was also so mad at herself; disappointed. She gave in to a moment of weakness where she felt good about something, with someone she needed to feel a sense of security from however it came and she allowed that to overpower the facts. Nothing was resolved. Everything just became more complicated as they let hormones takeover and turn them into a pair of horny teenagers starved for love in whatever form.

"Then what did it have to do with?"

"We have some unresolved issues that needed to be worked through."

"And that's your way of dealing?"

"It works for us alright."

"Did you get any talking done?"

"We did talk… a little…" They seemed amused by Emily's musings. While she had gotten better the longer they knew her, her sex life and life outside of the office and anything other than the obvious was always just a little mysterious. But there she was, opening herself up a little and they were going to enjoy it.

"Dirty talk?"

"Garcia…" She admonished, but still answered. "Yes there was that too. But really, we didn't get much talking done."

"Oh, it must've been a good night then."

"It could've gone better." She admitted. And it was true. It could've gone better issue wise. And at least he didn't see the brand. Make up was an amazing invention she'd forever be grateful for because as of yet, no one knew about it and she wasn't ready for anyone to see. So at least she was saved from that awkward mood killer.

With concern, JJ asked, "He didn't hurt you did he? I mean, he didn't force you right? You're sore, but not because he intentionally hurt you?" Oh, it was intentional on both their parts.

"He didn't force me to do anything. I promise. We were just caught up in the moment I guess… Needed to get it out of our systems…"

"I bet the neighbors had fun with that." Garcia smirked. "Now we know the how, I guess the why, the when, the where, and kind of the who although you weren't very specific. The what was a little obvious, although if you want to give specifics, I'd be peachy with that. I need to gas the tank of knowledge and it can only be done if I'm fed the gory details."

"Of my sex life?"

"Absolutely."

"What happened to our waitress?" She diverted. "I'm starving."

"Did he work up your appetite Em?" JJ teased.

"Tell me more. Tell me more. Do it or I'll mess with your perfect credit." A serious threat from a not so serious girl…

"What do you want to know?" She would answer a few questions.

_They spent the rest of the night going back and forth domineering the other, taking control and doing what they could to show who was in power. Different positions, different places… Whatever showed they were in control was done. By the time they were finished, they were tired and battered, bruised, but not scarred. Marked… They were marked by each other. They just didn't know it then. But there they laid, naked in nothing but the thin hotel sheet. The comforter on the floor with the clothes, a chair gracelessly tipped over, the table cleared and its contents strewn about the area around it; the place was a mess, but they just stayed there, trying to catch their breath and figure out exactly how they ended up where they did, exposed with a sheet barely draped over them._

_There wasn't much of the room that remained untouched. There wasn't much of their bodies that wasn't feeling something; touched in a moment of passion or ignited by the fire. But they were done. What they did was finished. And in their heads, they knew they wouldn't do it again. They shouldn't have done it at all. But they let old times catch up with them. They let the remembrance of things past overshadow the issues of the present. They were swept up in a moment where, beyond the anger and hurt, they felt the security they once felt. Despite their actions, they felt the safety of their embrace, the comfort they secretly missed, and the passion they longed for._

_In those moments they weren't coworkers. They weren't friends going through a really rough patch. They weren't enemies. They were just Emily and Aaron; past lovers getting reacquainted. They simply forgot the problems; not really working it out, but letting it out in the most primal of ways. Sure, sex wasn't the answer. When all was said and done, it probably made things worse, but in the moment, it took away from what was. Charlie was and always would be a major factor in their relationship and how they interacted, but for a short while it didn't matter that she wanted to castrate him when she thought about his reaction or that he wanted to strangle her when he thought about all he missed, seemingly, because of her. None of it mattered. Not work… Not their problems… Nothing at all…_

_He wanted her and she wanted him. That was the fact. _

_And they used each other. Connecting in a way they needed, they let out what needed to be let out with few words. Things got heated in more ways than one and that was their way of dealing. It was that or yell and, while there was still some yelling, at least their way came with more pleasure than pain. _

"So you really had a good time then?" Garcia asked mischievously after Emily spilled just a little of the night; nothing too intimate, but enough to hold the blondes over.

"When we weren't talking we had a great time." She answered honestly. "Talking is our issue. The more physical activities we never had problems with. We just never really gave into them." That was true for her. She didn't know about Hotch. Except for the two occasions where she let down her inhibitions, she pretended she felt absolutely nothing more than the slight of friendship and the relationship that coworkers shared. But buried inside, there was always a twinkling of something more; something greater that they repressed and just refused to acknowledge even existed. It was better that way. That was the only way they could work together and remain impartial. There were other factors in their lives.

"How did you leave things?" JJ asked after they squeezed a little detail out of Emily. She was never a descriptive, kiss and tell kind of girl, but they managed to press a little more out of Em than they normally did. She still felt she owed it to them for keeping so much to herself for so long.

"As unsettled as they were before."

"So not great then?"

"Not good, no."

"_I don't know where we went wrong." He stated quietly, breaking the unknown that settled the room. _

"_I wish I knew."_

_They didn't know how long they laid there saying nothing and looking nowhere, but he felt something needed to be said. "About what I said before…when we… I changed my mind." He said as he sat up in bed and looked to her. _

"_About what?" She asked curiously, confused. _

"_I forgive you."_

"_You what? You forgive me?" She asked in disbelief. Where did he get off? She did everything, almost everything, in her power for years to try and bring him to his daughter or at least keep his family safe and he turned her away in the end. She should've been forgiving him, not the other way around. _

"_I was angry for a while, and I still am a little, but I forgive you. I have to if I want to be a good father. And I want to be one for her. I am a good father. I know that." He stated as she slipped from the bed pulling the sheet over her body like she was embarrassed to let him see even though he saw it all. Hearing that he wanted to be a good father for their daughter was something that she wanted to hear for a long time. It should've made her happy. Instead, it just felt a little too late._

"_You're a good father Hotch… To Jack…" She stipulated. "And you could've been a good father to Charlie too. I just don't know if you're ready for it. And maybe, maybe Charlie isn't ready for it either. She doesn't deserve to be disappointed." She didn't know if she was ready either. _

"_Then what do I have to do to prove that we're all ready. I already apologized. I said I forgave you. What more is there?" He shouldn't have had to ask._

"_I don't know what else there is. But what you've done… It's not enough." She huffed as she looked for her clothes on the floor. "The one thing I wanted when I told you…" She said in between slipping on her underwear, the modestly of the sheet not all there. "Was to hear that you love her. That despite the anger and resentment toward me, you wanted to be there for her in whatever way you could. And you did the one thing I hoped you'd never do; something, although I thought about, I was sure you'd never do." She shook her head as she slid into the previous night's dress. "And I don't know how to get over that."_

_Sitting further up on the bed, tangled in the messy sheets, he, looking forlorn and almost scared, watched her put on her shoes and head for the door. "What does that mean? You're not going to let me see her? I need to be a part of her life. I'm her father."_

"_It means that nothing is fixed. I don't know where we go from here." As she opened the door, she stopped for a brief second and said, "I have to go. My daughter will be up soon." There was a sad finality to her tone and a final punch in the gut when he heard her say "my" instead of "our."All he wanted to do was chase after her, maybe grovel a little, and make her see that he was worthy; worthy of their daughter's trust and hers. And he would have if he were not dressed in flimsy sheeting and nothing else. He wanted the package deal. He wanted Charlie in his life. Why couldn't she see that? What would it take for her to see that? He needed to figure that out because he couldn't take much more. He already had too much time to make up for and too many stupid mistakes to correct. Wasting time was just compounding the hurt. _

"We ended up in a little squabble and then I left." She summed it up.

"Why are you so reluctant to talk about it… about most things?"

"And you suck at giving details."

"I know, and I'm sorry. It's just a habit that no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to shake. But I am trying."

"We know Em. But we are your friends and you can tell us anything."

"Give us details. Tell us your favorite position. Did you do it in the shower? Jayje and I have come to the conclusion that that's always a better idea in theory than it actually is."

"As for details, I… I gave what I could. But… the shower was a no go… this time."

"This time?" JJ said quietly as Garcia totally savored the moment.

"More please? There's no judgment here. Only merciless torture done in pure fun because that's what friends do… torture their amigos."

"I'm hungry. Do you think we scared off the waitress? Where'd she disappear to?" Emily diverted once again. "We said ten minutes. It has been thirty."

"No, no, no… No doing that missy. You're going to delve into the more intimate matters and I'm going to hack into their systems and make them aware of the need for service at table whatever. You first. I don't care if I have to flag our girl down." Garcia really did flag the girl down and Kelly really was scared of them, her body language screaming "get me out" every time she came near them. But they did get their food and lots of coffee, and Emily did give a little more. They had a very productive meal and Emily surprisingly felt better that she didn't keep the Hotch encounter completely to herself. If she didn't say anything, it would've completely festered.

There flight was at five that day, so after breakfast, they had some time to kill. The entire group met up with Charlie and Clyde and spent what was left of their day doing kid friendly, adult fun, activities. Overall, it was a good time. But Emily seemed to be avoiding Hotch and Hotch her. They were never alone together. They didn't talk at all. It was like every bit of professionalism they worked toward was suddenly absent, but they'd get it back. They had to.

As they all gathered at the airport to catch the same flight back, they had no choice but to interact. Sure it was usually insubstantial questions if there were any at all, but they were at least forced to act normal and be together. That was until everyone just seemed to disappear. Garcia, Derek, Kevin and JJ went to the airport store to pick up snacks and whatever. Will took Henry and Jack to the bathroom. And Clyde took a clingy Charlie with him to check on his flight information. That left them to their own devices.

After he had enough of the awkward glances and silence, Hotch said, "So about last night."

"It happened. We don't need to talk about it." She said quickly.

"We really should…"

"No, we shouldn't." She insisted.

"So we're ok then?" He asked hopefully. "We're fine?"

"Our daughter is the best thing that ever happened to me. But you make it seem like she's the worst thing that ever happened to you. So no, we're not ok. We're not fine. We're far from it. I don't know when or if we'll ever be ok." He looked at her confused. "But I know how to be professional. Life outside the office doesn't affect us in there. You are my boss. Nothing more…"

"It was a fight Emily. We can work through this. We can talk it through and then pretend it never happened."

"Despite our impossibly good compartmentalizing skills, not everything can be shoved in a box. This can't be shoved in a box. My compartments are on overload and the boxes are overflowing. That was not a fight about some repressed sexual tension. We had sex, yes. But that doesn't fix things. That was what got us in this mess to begin with."

"You made the mess." He pointed out venomously.

"No, we made the mess." She reiterated, making her point clear. "And that mess is the most perfect little human being I have ever laid eyes on. But you can't see that. You don't see what I see when I look at her."

"I can see that." He insisted. "I see her. I see what you see."

"Did you know that when she was a baby, I'd just watch her sleep? I'd spend hours, when I should've been asleep because god only knows when the last time I actually did was I was so sleep deprived, watching and listening to make sure she was still breathing. She was born so early and premature babies can have respiratory problems. I was so afraid the doctors missed something that I couldn't sleep. I just had to watch her day and night like a little China doll that would fall and break. Nothing could happen to her because I loved her that much. I don't know what I would've done if something did happen."

"And I would've been there to help you with that."

"That's not the point." She insisted and took a deep breath. He wasn't getting it. She needed him to get it; to understand where she was coming from. Her feelings weren't unfounded. "You told me you couldn't love her like you love your son Hotch. That's our daughter. _**Our**_ daughter… We made her. And whether she knows you're you or not, she loves us both. But you can't love her. Like I said, you're a good father to Jack, but not to her. So no matter what happened between us last night, things are not fixed."

"When will they be?" He could've told her, yelled at her, how much he loved his daughter and that he would be a good father if he was allowed to try, but he knew it wouldn't do any good. She wasn't hearing what he was saying.

"I don't know Hotch. I don't know." Looking to him she said, "Charlie and I have to go say bye to Clyde. He has to get back to England and Charlie's not taking it well. She wants him to come home with us forever." She emitted a humorless laugh. He took it as another kick while he was already down on the ground. "I… I think it's best if we forget last night ever happened. That's what we need to do."

"Emily I ca…"

She didn't have to hear him to know what he was going to say. "You have to. And we both need to cool off before we talk. If you even want to talk… I… I uh… I just have to go." Hotch didn't get a chance to truly apologize or tell her anything that he hoped would help his cause. There was no time. She just left… again. She was a runner.

The next time they saw each other they were on the plane. Luckily, Garcia didn't follow through on her plan to hack the seating and put them all together. Emily wouldn't have been able to handle that. They were separated by rows and rows and, at that moment, that still felt too close. She and Charlie were toward the front of the plane. Hotch and Jack were with Rossi in the back. JJ's family was just a few seats behind Emily and the rest were just a few rows behind that. It was probably for the best that they were separated. It was a short flight, but the kids were all tired and at least two of the adults had a lot on their minds. Emily wanted to resolve things with Hotch and Hotch wanted to resolve things with her, but it just wasn't that easy. There were real, legitimate issues to work out and it wasn't as simple as an apology that may or may not mean anything. Words were useless. Actions spoke louder. He needed to prove he'd be there for his daughter and he needed to do that to prove that to Emily and himself so he could prove it to Charlie too. She gave him what he wanted way before he knew he wanted it and he didn't take it. The ball was in his hands and he chucked it at her like they were playing dodge ball and he was the only one who knew.

Needless to say, Hotch and Emily were lost in their own minds, lost in the same thoughts… They didn't know it, but they were mirroring each other, both sitting in the same positions, doing the same things, and thinking the same thoughts. Emily leaned into the chair to find the most comfortable position possible as her hand absentmindedly ran through her sleeping child's hair. Her mind was replaying everything Hotch from when they first met when she was in college to the last conversation in the airport… everything. She was going over the feelings and the actions. She was going over everything, wreaking havoc on her brain to answer the question. Where did they go wrong? If only she knew…

Hotch was doing much the same. In a losing battle of the wills with his running mind, he thought about it all. He remembered each of those major moments so vividly. He remembered the first time he saw her and all her beauty at the Prentiss estate. He remembered that gala very intensely, something he probably shouldn't have been thinking about in public, on a plane, surrounded by people with his son nearly asleep resting on his side as his hand ran in circles over the boy's head. Every single word of meaning he ever shared with her was there like it just happened. The ones he remembered best were usually the things he wished he didn't say like the one thing he'd always regret saying; that he didn't love his daughter the same as his son. As he replayed those memories, he searched for an answer to the same question. Where did they go wrong? There were so many moments. Which one caused the downward spiral?

They couldn't find an answer to that though, not yet. And their thoughts shifted the previous night's extracurricular activities of the nude variety. He didn't know what came over him or what possessed him to kiss her. She didn't know what made her react like that and give in. But, if they were honest, neither of them regretted it. It was good sex. Sex they both haven't been having. And it was crazy, but it happened like it had been building for years. But they were thinking about it; about it all.

At the end of the day they came to the same conclusion, while nothing was really accomplished other than digging themselves deeper into their caves of dysfunction and haze, they still learned one thing. They still fit. No matter how apart they were, no matter how long it had been, and no matter how much they ignored it, they always fit each other. Their bodies meshed. Their mindsets molded. They were compatible whether they saw that or not. The only problem was they couldn't move on from the problems. They weren't working through what was and they'd just continue to ignore what was right in front of them. There would be a point in the not so distant future where that just wouldn't work anymore, but that wasn't then.

After brief goodbyes to the others and none to each other, Emily and Hotch raced home. Charlie was in a bit of a mood after saying goodbye to Clyde and crying until she was physically exhausted and Emily was just distracted. And Hotch needed to get Jack to Haley's. His mind wasn't letting up either. But they did their best to ignore it. They had other things to focus on and other things to worry about. Until they had to see each other again, they needed to forget about it.

That wasn't exactly what happened though. They continuously thought about each other. Even, and especially, when they tried not to. It was impossible to ignore it like an elephant in the room. It just couldn't be done. So they ended up dwelling on it, thinking about all the moments that were lost and gained until the chance to talk about it presented itself.

Tuesday, after an unsettling doctor's appointment where she received some not so happy news, Emily had to head to the FBI building to see Dr. Lozano for her appointment. Whether the shrink cleared her or not, she wasn't going back to work that week like she planned. It just wasn't in the cards for her. On the up side, she thought, it gave her more time away from Hotch. Unfortunately, her plan to avoid him didn't work out. As she was walking through the hall, someone bumped into her.

"I'm sorry." He said as he bent down to pick up the file he dropped.

"It's alright Hotch." She responded with a sigh. Of course she'd bump into him.

"Emily? What are you doing here?"

"I'm early for my appointment. I was going to see Garcia before I went."

"So you have time?"

She didn't know if she wanted to answer honestly. "Yes, I have a little time."

"Will you come with me to my office for a minute?" It was the first time she ever wished she was in trouble with the boss. That, at least, would save them the awkwardness of the talk.

"I guess." The walk to his office was silent save for the sounds of their shoes against the floor. As they went in, he held the door for her and closed it behind them. It was a private conversation. "What is it?"

"I think we need to talk."

"About?" She played coy.

"You know what about." She did know.

"Then talk. Say what you need to say."

"I want to be a part of her life."

"I know you do. I've heard you say it." She just wasn't sure she believed it.

"And I want you to know that I meant what I said that night Emily. I forgive you." He stated confidently.

"What?" Seriously…

"I forgive you for keeping her from me."

"That's great. That makes everything you did all go away." The anger she was trying to keep away was starting to creep up on her.

"So what? Forgive and forget?" He knew it wasn't going to be that easy, but it came out without thinking it through. He wanted it to be that easy. Everything he said just came out wrong. He knew it, but he couldn't help it.

"I will never forget, but I'm working hard to forgive." She looked to him, her eyes sad and glassy. None of this was what she wanted and she didn't know how to make the feelings, both good and bad, stop. "I really am trying to forgive you Aaron. Really, I am, but right now, I just need a little space. Please just give me that."

"Isn't that what I've been giving you? You've had space. Now we need to really talk about it whether we want to or not. And we both know neither of us like talking. We need to talk about Charlie. We need to talk about what happened in New York. We need to talk."

"You're right. We do need to talk. Just… Just not now… I can't now. I… I just can't."

"Then when? Because we can't put this off any longer. She's my daughter and I deserve to be in her life."

"You deserve to be in her life?" She was definitely angry now. The outburst was threatening, sitting on the edge of her tongue waiting for permission to exit. But she wouldn't allow it. She clenched her fists, let out a quiet grown, and looked to him. "I can't do this now. I'll say something I regret and we'll end up doing something we regret, and I don't want that…" She stilled for a moment, contemplating her next move. Was it the right choice? "I want things to work out." She said quietly. "I won't be coming back to work this week." She could see the look on his face, the one that asked for more information. "I'm still having migraines, headaches really, and they want to run some tests. I'm fine; they just want to be safe before clearing me. So the doctor pushed my medical release. Give me the rest of this week. I can meet you on your lunch break Monday. Does that work?" She really didn't even want to do that, but it would give her some time. And, whether she liked it or not, she'd do anything for her daughter. And if he could prove that it was what he wanted and that Charlie was as important to him as she was to her, a priority, then she had to let him into their daughter's life.

"That would be perfect." He was just relieved she was going to give him a chance. Maybe they'd hash things out and, since they'd be in public, it'd end better than a naked tousle and a walk of shame. But with their luck, who knew? He needed to be prepared for anything.

"I have to go. Garcia's expecting me and I have my appointment soon."

"How's therapy going?"

"It's going… Some days are better than others." She answered honestly.

"I hope you're back soon."

She couldn't tell if he was sincere, but she nodded and said, "Me too."

"Bye Emily."

"Bye Hotch/" She said and left.

Later that day, still a little unsettled about his future and his tentative relationship with Charlie, as he sat in his office, he thought over everything that happened. Aaron didn't know what he wanted or how he felt about anything really. But he did know he loved his daughter. He had a nontraditional, roundabout way of coming to that conclusion, but the end result was the same. He loved Charlie just like he loved Jack. The love was there all along he just denied himself that feeling. But things were a mess. His revelation may have come too late because he waited until he pushed Emily too far before admitting it. So what was he to do? He couldn't miss anymore. And if things didn't go well with Emily the following Monday, where would that leave him?

He scrolled through his contacts looking for a number he hadn't used in a while, clicked it and let it ring. A secretary answered his call and directed him to the person he sought. "Baleman."

"Hey Steve, it's Aaron. Aaron Hotchner."

"I know who you are Aaron. We had drinks a few weeks ago; known each other for years. But you never call my work number. What's going on?"

"I may need a little help."

"Are you in trouble?"

"That depends what you consider trouble."

"Tell me what I can do." In a long winded breath, Hotch told his friend exactly what was going on and what he needed, just hoping his actions wouldn't burn what was left of those bridges he built or backfire right in his face. He needed to take precautions… Right?

**Summer's coming to a close for me, so I'll be less busy soon and will hopefully have more time to write and update faster. Hope this chapter made you all happy for at least a few moments. I'm looking forward to hearing from you. Also, question. I'm thinking about breaking this into two stories, so this would end at a good point and have a sequel. The length of my chapters would make this like half a million or more words when finished if I don't. Would people be interested in reading that?**

**Cinnamonfa**** I love hearing that you or anyone else love this. Thanks for telling me. It makes me want to write more and keep going. So thanks. And I hope you like this new update. **

**Emilyhotchnerforever**** They did kiss! If you're reading this before the chapter, well you'll be happy once you read it… maybe. Paget will be on SVU. There was an article on my homepage that I read. If you google it you should find it no problem, or check out the Criminal minds fanatic blog. There might be some info there. Hotly is my favorite pairing, and anything I write for Criminal Minds will have Emily in it whether she is on the show or not. She's my favorite character. Sorry it took so long to update, but I hope it was worth it. **

**HPforever-after**** Thanks for wishing me a happy birthday. And sorry to disappoint, but Helen won't be finding out in NY… not yet, but hopefully soon. I have a plan to incorporate jealousy. Look for it in future chapters. **

**greengirl82**** I liked the kiss too. And if you liked that, you'll probably like what they do in this chapter. I hope NBC does put her on contract. I'd watch it and save Criminal Minds for the DVR. I like both shows, but Paget's one of my favorite actresses. I love her comedy though and wish she was doing more of that. Thrilling Adventure Hour is the best. I love her part in that. And sorry it took so long. Hopefully I'll be updating faster now. **

**123a456e**** They'll be losing me to SVU when Paget's on too. And no, any story I write for this show will include Emily. However, if I like the Alex Blake character, I see no reason I couldn't use both in a story. But there will always be Emily Prentiss in Criminal Minds as far as I'm concerned. Next chapter will be up as soon as I can write it. **

**HGRHfan35**** Don't be sad, be happy. :) They kissed! That's a start. And since you're a pretty loyal reviewer, here's a little sneak peek. One of the upcoming chapter title's is Amends are Hard to Come By. It's a working title, but if all goes to plan, you'll like that one I think. It will get better and thank you for wishing me a happy birthday. **

**DutchLuv**** I had to end it like that! I had to. I couldn't help myself. A kiss was the best way to end it. And it is my goal to reel you in and hook you like a drug dealer to a meth addict. I love when people get as attached to my writing as I am. So please, keep reading and enjoy. **

**Rugbygirrl**** I liked the part with Sean too. We only saw him once on the show and he was portrayed more as the immature younger brother so I wanted to show a grown up version where he was helping to solve problems not create them. And the kiss… yeah, I wish they did that on the show. At least a goodbye kiss. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed catching up with this story, **

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**


	23. Talk's Cheap, Actions Speak

_I do not own Criminal Minds, only the characters I have created in that world._

Chapter 23: Talk's Cheap, Actions Speak

"Emily, I feel that you've been holding back. You're not being as forthcoming and honest as I'd like to see by this stage in therapy. And until then, I can't clear you to go back to work." First the actual doctor and then the shrink too… What was wrong with her?

"Why not?" She asked defensively, slightly irritated.

"If I don't know what you're keeping from me, I can't clearly judge your state of mind. Sending you back to work before you're ready can be harmful for you and your team. Someone could get hurt if you're head's not there."

"I'd never hurt my team." Emily stated firmly. She wouldn't. If she could help it, she wouldn't. Even if she couldn't help it, she still wouldn't.

"Emily…"

"No! You want honesty?" Dr. Lozano nodded and was about to talk, but Emily didn't even see her. She stood from the chair and started pacing. "Honesty… I can't sleep at night without at least one nightmare, though, usually there are more. My daughter is having them as well. It's my fault. She feeds off mine. Thankfully, not as often or as bad, she's just scared of losing me. And she doesn't tell me about her dreams. She doesn't think I know and I pretend not to because that's what she wants. She doesn't want me to have to take care of her when I have to take care of myself. It's crazy. I'm the mom. And the only way she sleeps through the night is when she's in my room. But it works, because the only way I can sleep is with her in my bed." She went off on a tangent.

"What about the sleeping pills?"

"I use them when I have to." Not really… "But sometimes I need to be alert. What if something happens? What if Charlie needs me and I'm in a medicine induced sleep haze?"

"We can try a different prescription; find something that works for you."

"No." Emily answered quickly and she urged for a change in direction. Lozano complied.

"Why don't you talk about her?"

"Charlie?" The doctor nodded. "I talk about her all the time." Emily insisted.

"In a way you do. You tell me about her and your life together, but you don't talk about who she is. Not once did you talk about her father. You never told me why you kept her existence from your team."

Her pacing halted as she turned to face the doctor. "I never told you that." She didn't right? "I never said that. How do you know that?"

"How I know that isn't as important as why you haven't told me."

By this time she was back in her seat, anxiously awaiting the end of it. Sarcastically she added, "Why do I need to tell you things when you already know them?"

"The point of our sessions is to make sure that you're ok; that you're safe when you're in the field."

"And I am. I would be."

"Well, I need to judge that. And I can't do that if you're not willing to share. You're holding back and I don't know why."

"I answer your questions. I talk to you. How is that holding back?"

"You tell me what you think I need to hear to clear you. But that's not how it works. Why don't we start with this? You told me in an earlier session that the nightmares had stopped. Why did you lie? Having nightmares is part of the subconscious mind's way of working things out. Perfectly normal. Why lie?"

"I… I don't know."

"We have a little time left. Tell me about some of them." Did she have to? She didn't want to talk about it, but she did. She told Dr. Lozano about the dream she had every now and again; the one where there was Doyle and Hotch and Charlie and her all wrapped up in a crazy hostage like situation. She didn't, however, name Hotch. She simply titled that character, Charlie's father. It was safer that way. Confidentiality or not, she didn't want to tell and take the chance of word getting around. But, in a way, it was good to talk about it. Hearing the doc analyze it with her, help her work through it… Well, it was better than letting the thoughts fester and boil in her mind.

"It seems to me that your problem isn't with Doyle. You know he's dead. He's gone and he can't threaten or hurt you or Charlie or anyone you love. The problem is whatever unresolved issues you have with Charlie's father. Has he ever hurt you?"

"Physically?" She asked and received a nod. "No, god no. He's not that guy."

"Emotionally then?"

"He's not and never was abusive. He's a good guy. But he did hurt me."

"How did he hurt you?"

"He… He just did."

"Tell me about him."

"What do you want to know?"

"Tell me whatever you feel comfortable telling me." She needed her patient to open up without direction. Asking Emily to tell her what she was comfortable sharing was a way of evaluating the agent.

"We met through my mother when I was just a teenager."

"Were you in a relationship then?"

"No." She answered and Dr, Lozano remained quiet hoping Emily would continue on her own. "But I had a crush on him then. He was older and off limits and that was appealing to me. Anything she didn't want for me made me want it more. Nothing ever happened though. We only saw each other in passing really. And once I went back to school and he went off to his next assignment, I just assumed we'd forget about each other and never see each other again."

"But that's not what happened. So what did?"

"About a decade later we ran into each other again at one of my mother's parties."

"How'd that go?"

"Well we ended the night together and I ended up with a baby. How do you think that went?"

"Ok." She laughed. "So you both got reacquainted. Did you guys keep in touch?"

"No, we agreed not to. I wasn't in a place to start anything and neither was he." Not to mention he was married…

"That was right after your time with Doyle right?"

"Yes."

"So you weren't in the best of places mentally." Emily nodded in agreement. "How were you when you found out you were pregnant?" Emily told her story. She told Dr. Lozano about the hospital and Mike and all of that. It was a lot like what she told JJ just stripped of more detail. Even void of most things, Emily still felt wrong telling it to a stranger. Therapist or not, she was sharing and she didn't want to. If she didn't have to, she wouldn't have at all.

"As scared as I was, she turned out to be the best thing I ever did."

"Is not telling her father something you regret?"

Was it? At first she did try, and then she didn't so that things would stay stable for Jack. But a part of it was because of her own hurt and insecurity. She realized that too. Her daughter missed out, but if she knew from the beginning that Hotch would react the way he did then, then she wouldn't have changed a thing. But her daughter was missing out. That she regretted. "I do and I don't. I don't regret that I had all that precious time to myself and I don't regret the choices I've made; however selfish that may be. I try not to focus on regret or I'd just dwell on it. I do, on the other hand, regret that she didn't get that experience. On Father's Day she would make cards for the other men in her life and a special one for Daddy who was out saving the day. But she never asked about him. And she stopped making the cards for him about two years ago. So I don't know what I regret. I just don't want her to miss out. I want her to have it all. I guess then, that my answer is yes. I regret that he wasn't there and I regret that I didn't give her something every child should have. But, greedily, I don't think I would change anything."

"Why's that?"

"I have the relationship with her that I never had with my mother. I know she's only five and things could change, but I don't know if we'd be the way we are, as close as we are, today if he had been around."

"Have you seen him recently?"

Did she know what to ask or what? Emily became a little flushed. "We've seen each other recently, yes."

"How'd that go?"

"The last time," she excluded the talking in his office because that would just give too much away, "the last time we saw each other was in New York. And it ended a lot like the party."

"You had sex?" Almost guiltily, she nodded. "Do you regret that?"

Did she? "Yes?" No? Maybe? It felt good. It felt right, but… "It was just… the wrong time. We weren't in the right place to be jumping into bed together."

"How often do you see him?"

"Often enough."

Neutralizing the urge to sigh, the doctor just moved on. Getting Emily to share was a chore, but Lozano could be equally as stubborn and she wasn't one to give up. "How often does Charlie see him?"

"Lately, she has seen him more."

"But she doesn't know who he is?"

"She knows he's important, like all of my friends… our extended family."

"Is he a friend?"

Before she answered, although she was going to take her time on that one anyway, the session timer let them know the sixty minutes were up. "I guess we're done for the day." Emily said happily. She was emotionally drained… again…

"I guess it does. We're making progress Emily. We're getting there."

"So does this mean I get the ok to come back?"

"What?"

"I opened up. Does that mean I can come back? I've done the whole team's backed up paperwork from the last two months and they won't give me much more to do. I can't sit around and do nothing anymore. Please tell me what to do that would get me cleared."

"You didn't get medical clearance, why is it so important that I clear you now?"

"It's one less thing to worry about." And she needed to know that she really was ok; that everything she was feeling was normal and clearance might help her believe that.

"Listen Emily. I want to clear you. It's obvious you love your job and your coworkers want you back, but I can't let you go too early or you could be distracted and become a hazard to yourself and others."

"I thought we had this conversation. If I thought I'd endanger the team, I wouldn't be pushing this."

"And it's my job to determine whether or not your thinking is accurate and, right now, I'm not too sure it is."

"When then? When will you be sure?" She knew she sounded like a little kid; like Charlie when she was sleepy and cranky and whining, but that was how she felt.

"I'll make you a deal." That got Emily's attention. "We'll start having two sessions a week."

"I can do that."

"I also want you to write in a journal."

"Seriously?"

"Yes. I want you to record any dreams you might have, especially the bad ones. If you think of anything that's bothering you, you write it down. Anything of importance to you that comes into your head should be written down for us to discuss." Emily really didn't like that idea. Not only was journaling something she never really did, but it was definitely not something she did and then shared. "Whatever's written down, we'll go over. You have to continue to be open and we really have to get deeper into the issues."

"Is that all?" She asked sarcastically. If there was more, she might have lost it.

"That's it. We'll see each other twice a week. We'll talk in depth about everything; no holding back. And, if you comply, during the last session before the doctor says you're physically fit for duty, I'll decide if you're mentally prepared as well. What do you say?"

"I guess I really don't have much of a choice. Right?"

"Not if you want to come back, no. It's the only way."

"Then I guess I'll see you later this week." She was feeling a little dejected as she left. Really, she was hoping for better news. First things didn't go her way at the hospital and then she ran into Hotch, or was kind of cornered into talking with him, and the cake topper was another not so great experience with Lozano. If that was her day and it was barely halfway through… Well, she really hoped it wasn't a sign. All she wanted was her life back. She thought she was there, or close to being there, but she wasn't. And the truth was she didn't even want to go back to before Doyle. She wanted things to be better. There would and could be no more hiding things. She wanted to be less private and more a part of the family she created with her team. She'd get there, but first she had to actually be there.

In a huff, she exited the office, scheduling an appointment for Friday on her way out. Twice a week seemed a bit excessive to her. And writing thoughts and feelings and recording dreams down in a notebook like some lovesick teenager wasn't something she was looking forward to, but she was obviously going to do it. She had to if she wanted to get back to work; become sane again. She wanted to get better. She thought she was, but there was still work to do, and she was determined to do it. She was determined to try at least. Bottling things up and keeping things to herself was a long standing habit that was hard to break; possibly impossible.

Emily was exiting the elevator and searching her bag for her keys when she heard footsteps closing in on her and someone calling out to her. "Hey Em."

"Oh, hey." She smiled when she saw who it was. At least it wasn't Hotch again.

"I'm glad I ran into you; got a second?"

"Sure Jayje. What's up?"

"I've wanted to talk to you since New York, but you've been impossible to get alone, and Henry wants to have a play date outside of school. You want to come over Friday afternoon, shove the kids off on Will and do a little catching up?"

"Catching up? What could've changed since we last talked?"

"A lot." She stated. And who was Emily to refute?

"Ok, yeah. Charlie would love that. I don't know what it is you want to talk about, but the look on your face is telling me not to question you and just give in. So we'll be there. Let me know what time."

"Good. I'll let you know."

"Ok, do that."

"I'll call you tonight. How'd your appointment go? We can't wait to have you back." Emily's face fell and it didn't go unnoticed. "You're still coming back… aren't you?"

"Well…"

"Are you quitting?"

"No, no nothing like that. I'm just not coming back as soon as I hoped."

"Why?" Walking with JJ back toward the BAU after her early lunch, Emily simply explained that she hadn't been cleared for duty. Just like she told Hotch, she stated that she was still having mild headaches, neglecting the occasional migraines she got, and that the doctor didn't feel comfortable putting her in the field until tests were run and, preferably, all remnants of injury dissipated. Much to Emily's annoyance, JJ agreed that it was probably for the best. "Oh, don't give me that look. We all want you back, but you're my friend first. I'd rather wait a little longer on the job than lose you because you were in too much of a rush. We love you, you know."

"Nice save." Emily joked, still a little unhappy with the situation. "Listen Jayje, I have to go, and you have work to get back to. Don't want any more bodies in a case because you neglected a file."

"Just for that," the blonde teased, "I'm bringing you all the crappy paperwork; none of the good case stuff."

"I see how it is. Torture a friend when she's down… I'll remember that."

"Bye Em."

"Bye JJ."

Friday came quicker than expected; mostly because she filled her time with superfluous workouts, tedious paperwork that no one liked to do, and meeting with a pool guy to get one put in the backyard. It was actually a lot to cram into just a few short days. If it wasn't Charlie keeping her busy, she found something to occupy her time; something to focus her away from what she was going to say to Hotch. That wasn't a conversation she was looking forward to, but it wasn't one she could avoid either. It was years in the making and, while it took a few missteps to get there, it needed to be done; done right this time. She'd just avoid thinking about it until she had to. The reality of what needed to be said and what would be said wouldn't set in until they were face to face actually talking. Honestly, she had no idea how she would react; she was still figuring things out.

Thursday was spent doing, what she considered, pointless tests at the hospital. If anyone asked her, her doctor was just being overly cautious. She was fine… healed… recovered… Maybe? The point was that she did the tests and Sarah tagged along to make sure she actually did them. Sarah said it was for moral support; not that she needed or accepted it. But she did it and all that was left was to wait for the results.

And then it was Friday. Charlie woke up excited because, not only was she going to spend the day with Henry at school, but she was being picked up by Will and going home with them. That was the plan the mothers made, and it pleased both children. All the Prentiss women had to do was get through their days first. For Charlie that meant breakfast with her mom, a fun day at school, and fighting off the bullies during recess. For Emily, that meant another excruciating therapy session and avoiding her boss until Monday.

"Are you ready mommy? I want to go so school can be over and me and Henry can play." Charlie pulled Emily from her thoughts. She really wasn't looking forward to the appointment. She did the journaling, she'd participate, but she really didn't like it. She wasn't the feel and share type of person Dr. Lozano was making her be.

"We have time Charlie. Finish your breakfast, brush your teeth, and then we'll go."

"Can we make cookies?"

"Now?"

"No silly. When we come home?"

"Let's see how late it is first. If it's early enough, then maybe."

"Ok." Charlie was always easy to please.

Twenty minutes later, Emily was bringing Charlie to school, making sure she made it safely to her classroom, and heading to her appointment. It frustrated her that that was what her working hours became; nothing more than appointments and busy work. But like she kept telling herself, she just had to put up with it. Frustrated or not, it needed to be done. She'd have to keep repeating it over and over and over…

She was still too early when she arrived. The waiting was only making the frustration worse. Were there people out there that liked sharing their feelings? If there were, she'd like to meet them and learn a few things, but she definitely wasn't one of them. And knowing that she was going in there with a notebook full of intimate details of her life and the intention of giving into the demands of her psychiatrist, Emily couldn't help but sit there in the uncomfortable chairs, one hand gripping the journal, the other being used as a calming tool as she gave into her nasty habit of biting her nails.

Was she really going to talk about what she had written in there? Talk about her personal thoughts and the private happenings of her personal life? She couldn't believe she actually did it, or, more so, that she actually did it well; she didn't just half ass it like she anticipated. It actually wasn't hard to write it down. But written on paper it was still private. When she stepped into that office it wouldn't be just her. That was the scary part. And she was questioning whether she was capable of doing it. Sure, even though she was still censored with them, if she was talking to a friend like JJ she could open up. She was capable of that; divulging deep dark secrets to them. In fact, there were several occasions where she wanted to just blurt it all out, but a psychiatrist wasn't a friend; she was a doctor, one that was standing between her and her job.

But before she had the time to ponder her tentative actions any further, it was time to go in. "Emily, she's ready for you."

"Thanks." Emily responded calmly; politely. She wouldn't let the nerves win. Gathering her purse from the seat next to her and making sure she was leaving nothing behind, Emily moved into the office.

Instantly, she was greeted by an all too happy Claire. "Good morning Emily."

"Morning Dr. Lozano." The doctor told her on several occasions it was ok to call her by her given name. It would make it more equal; more like "friends" talking than what it was; a forced meeting between one person with all the power and the other helpless to do anything but comply. She was being held hostage until she gave in. The point was, Emily didn't want to forget that and refused to call her Claire. It just wasn't going to happen.

They started like they always did with the standard, "How are you today" and all that crap. It was cordial and an icebreaker, but it just prolonged the inevitable agony that was sure to follow with the hard questions. "I see you brought a journal. Does that mean you did what I asked?"

"I did." She said flatly. "Don't be so surprised."

"I'm not surprised Emily. I'm just happy that you did it."

"Ok." No, she was surprised. Emily knew that. Profilers profiled and Emily definitely profiled _Claire_ every time they were in the same general area.

"Is there anything in your journal you want to discuss first today?" Emily shook her head quickly. While she was really trying to cooperate, if she could avoid initiating topics, she would. "Alright, we'll save that for later then." Dr. Lozano looked down to the pad of paper before her. "I was looking through my notes from our previous sessions and I've realized something."

"What's that?" Emily asked.

"There are certain things that you, very skillfully, get out of talking about."

"I don't…" Lozano stopped her.

"You say just enough to make it seem like you really shared, but you really say nothing at all."

"Who's the profiler now?" Emily threw in a snide remark that the good doctor ignored.

"And that tells me those are the things we need to be talking about. So that 's where we're going to start."

"And where exactly is that?" She definitely didn't like where the conversation was heading.

"I'd like to start with your time undercover. You don't have to tell me anything about the why or who or how; nothing logistics. I know most of that is classified and not really something we need to get into. We're just going to discuss what was going through your head when you were Lauren."

"Oh… um… ok…" Not ok… So not ok… "What about it?"

"We touched on the subject, but I want to know what it was like. Tell me about your time as Lauren."

"What's there to tell? I wasn't me. I played a part. I fit the role. Nothing I did was real."

"What do you mean it wasn't real? What wasn't real?"

"What she did… What I was, or what she was… That wasn't me."

"Then who were you?"

"I was Lauren. I was who I was told to be, taught to be, and that was her. I was her."

There was a lot of redundancy and mindless rambling, A few questions were thrown in from the doc and Emily answered them the best she could. Emily was talking pretty openly, as she promised she would. Nothing would change, but she was doing it to better herself, to secure her relationships with those she cared about, to make sure her daughter didn't have the same problems as her… She was doing what she could to answer everything. It didn't take long, however, before she asked something that Emily wasn't sure how to answer. "If you were Lauren, what happened to Emily?"

"I uh… I… I don't know. What happened to Emily? She didn't exist then." Like they were in a moment of silence to honor the fallen, Emily bowed her head and thought carefully before speaking. "A part of me died when I went undercover for that assignment. A big piece of me died when I saw my friend's dead eyes staring at me like she was pleading for me to save her. A part of me died every time I had to willingly sleep with him. A part of me died every time he brought up children and a life he wanted us to live together. With every lie, I became more her than I was me. I'm not sure I ever got all of me back."

"What do you mean?"

"You asked what happened to Emily… If I was Lauren, what happened to Emily? And I don't really know. But I do know this. The Emily Prentiss I was before was not who I am now."

"What were you like when you first came out of the assignment?"

"I was jaded, lost… I didn't know who I was. Half the time I wasn't sure I knew where I was. Life moved on but Emily didn't. There's only one of me. While I was Lauren there was no one to be Emily. For a very long time, Emily Prentiss just fell off the face of the earth. I'm sure some people thought I was dead."

"Did you have any contact with people from your life?"

"Limited. Every so often I got to a secure line, talked to my handler, and had him send some emails, but that was the extent of it; no phone calls, nothing else, and nothing done by me."

"Were you lonely?"

"No." She stated bluntly, emotionlessly.

"No? You didn't miss your friends and family back home?"

"I didn't have much of either. And I didn't have time to miss the ones I did."

"What do you mean?"

"There was no time to be Emily. Emily didn't exist. Lauren couldn't miss what she didn't know. If I took the time to be her, me, I would've lost Lauren and blown my cover. So there was no time to miss people. There was no time to be me."

"Well, let's get back to that." Lozano coached. "Tell me who you were."

"When? Who was I when? I seem to be so many people that you actually have to be specific."

"Who were you then? Before you became Lauren, who were you?" She clarified. "Before you became jaded and lost, who were you?"

"I wasn't this." She motioned to herself. "I was never bright eyed and naïve enough to believe the world was all good, but before, I think I was more inclined to believe in the good. I was in my twenties then. There were several cases before that one and I knew what I was getting into, but things were different then. I had a better outlook on life before. I didn't have to question who I was because I knew. I never doubted that. I was Emily Prentiss; a strong female, the ambassador's daughter, linguistics specialist… I believed in myself. I knew enough about myself to know who I was."

"And what about this Emily Prentiss? Who is she? Isn't she still all those things?"

"I don't know. I mean, yes. She, I, am still all those things. I am a strong woman. My mother's still an ambassador. And I still have my linguistic prowess, but it's not the same. I don't know. I don't have the answer. I don't think I know who this Emily Prentiss is. Maybe I never knew."

"I think you'll figure it out. You might even like what you find. And I'll be here the entire way." The rest of the hour was spent delving deeper into Emily's psyche and opening the wounds. Doyle, her time as Lauren, and who Emily was and became were the only topics touched upon. Emily was giving it her all. Once she got into the talking, she actually talked. Granted, she still wasn't divulging anything from those very personal boxes that she locked up nice and tight. No, those would stay there. But it was actually nice to talk about it and not worry so much about it. Lozano was helping her figure out a problem she never truly knew she had. There were even a few tears. "I'm proud of you Emily." Claire was closing out their hour together. "You really took the journal seriously and you came in here today with an open mind, willing and ready to talk."

"Well, I tried…" Was there a better way to respond to that?

"Don't downplay it. It's just a start, but it's great progress. I just hope it's more than show. You said earlier that you wanted to be more open, to share more, so that Charlie knows it's ok to feel. You grew up in an oppressive environment where that wasn't ok. You were discouraged from it and you don't want the same for her."

"Yeah?"

"Because of that, I want you to try something."

"What?"

"It's not going to change overnight, but, gradually, I want you to learn that it's ok to express what you're feeling and tell people about whatever without being afraid of their judgment."

"And how do I do that? There's a saying about old dogs and new tricks you know?"

"I've heard it, but you're neither too old nor a dog, so I think you'll be fine." An almost chastising look was shared. "I want you to try not holding back so much. Don't censor yourself."

"So I should go up to a total stranger and tell them my secrets?" She asked sarcastically.

"I'm not saying that Emily. I'm saying that when you're with someone you trust, believe that they won't judge you for being you. Believe that they love and accept you and when you hear that voice in your head telling you to shut up or stop before you say anything else, try to ignore it. They want to hear it as much as you want to tell them."

"It's that simple."

"No, it'll be hard work, but if anyone can do it, you can."

"Yeah." No pressure…

"Yes. When you think about saying something, giving in and being completely honest, just do it. See how it feels."

"I'll try." She would…

"All you can do is try." She assured Emily, although her patient wasn't completely buying it. A few more words were exchanged before Emily went to leave. "We'll get into the journal more Tuesday. We still have a lot to talk about." Of course they did… With that, Emily just shook her head and left.

She was emotionally drained again. Who knew an hour could do so much damage? She knew she had to open up like she was asked or she would never get reinstated, and maybe it was good that she did, but she never planned on taking it so far. It was a raw, emotional, and honest talk. It was probably needed, but she felt like she ran a marathon with a broken rib. It was agonizing and arduous. For the first time since her recovery really took hold, she just wanted to do nothing. She just wanted to lounge around or lay on the couch with her favorite comfort food and wallow in her emotions. A lot was stirred up. There was so much to reconcile between the Emily she was and the Emily she became. Add in her Lauren persona and she was fractured. There were so many hers she didn't know which one she actually was. There was so much to sift through. She had to start sometime.

Even though she knew that, she also knew her limits. She had more than enough share and care for one day. Her quota was met and far surpassed. So, after that, she drove home in a fog, settled on the couch with a hot coffee and a bunch of bad for you junk food, surrounded herself with the little bits of cases and other paperwork she had left, and just tried to keep busy; pass the time before she went over to JJ's and faced the next conversation she wasn't sure she should have been dreading or excited about. Her best bet was the former. She doubted it was something she would look forward too, but talking with JJ was rarely hard, just the topics sometimes were. And there was still the task of overcoming her withholding issue. She didn't understand her need to hold back when talking to JJ or any of her friends. JJ was one of the least judgmental, most accepting, and understanding people she knew, but she just couldn't seem to let go. There was still that insecure fifteen year old soul in her keeping her back from letting people in and moving forward.

The only person that she openly talked to, mostly, was Clyde. And even he didn't know everything. But then, she believed, he saw her at low points in her life; her adult life. He saw her as Lauren. He saw her immediately after. And maybe that was why she was more inclined to speak openly with him. She felt safe with him. That was not to say she didn't feel safe with the team. She did, but they still had this pristine image of her; until everything with Doyle came out at least. She didn't want to ruin what good they still saw. Keeping that image clean was important to her. She didn't know why.

The stupid therapy session turned her into a self reflecting, emotional mess. She didn't like it. She needed to stop, especially since she realized she spent hours in a retrospective getting nothing done. She even had a text waiting from JJ. _No case. Home on time. See you in 20?_ She didn't know whether to be nervous or happy to leave her house, but the change of scenery would be good. She needed to get away from the feelings she was working through. Anyway, that text came nearly fifteen minutes earlier, so she quickly shot a response. _Leaving now._ And she was going to leave then; she just needed to primp a little to not look like she spent hours in a daze thinking, letting her coffee run cold, and her food grow stale. It wouldn't take too long,

It didn't much time at all. She applied a little fresh makeup, quickly changed into something less wrinkled and worn, and ran out the door effectively arriving just a few short minutes later. JJ greeted her with a joke about her tardiness and Charlie practically knocked her over when she ran up to her mother for a hug. It was a nice way to be greeted, if not dangerous too. But she loved it. She loved Charlie. And if a hug from her daughter led to a few bumps and bruises, she'd gladly wear them with pride.

"Are you having fun with Henry?"

She nodded enthusiastically. "We're playing hide and seek. JJ couldn't find us."

"She couldn't huh?" As Charlie nodded, Emily smiled and looked to JJ. "She can hunt down criminals, but two little munchkins are beyond her skill range?"

"We're just too good for her!"

"Yup Emily! Mommy couldn't find us. We had the best hiding spots ever. We were in…"

"Henry! You can't tell. Then they'll know where to look." She chastised her friend.

"Fine, I won't tell, but it was the best. No one looks there. We never lose there. Can we play again mom?"

"Your dad made you guys dinner. Why don't you both check if he finished cooking? And if you're good and eat all your vegetables, maybe he'll play."

"Ok. Come on Charlie." He reached for her hand. "I'm hungry. We have to eat so we can play again."

"You're staying, right mommy?" She looked to Emily expectantly.

"I'm not going anywhere without you." With a big pearly smile, hand joined with Henry, she practically skipped to the kitchen.

"She seems to be doing really well since everything."

"Kids are resilient, and she's one of the best. She can bounce back from anything. But I think she's still a little scared something is going to happen to me. I know she was affected by it all… we all were, but we're all getting by."

"We are." JJ responded with a friendly grin. "Want some coffee?"

"Yes, coffee and gossip. That's what I'm here for right."

"I thought it was for the company. Guess not." JJ joked. "Come on. Will promised to stay with the kids so we have at least an hour or two of adult time."

"Where big ears can't listen in?" No kids as a buffer to avoid a situation where Emily was forced to push aside the mental block and open up… Hadn't she done enough of that for one day? No… No…

"Yeah."

JJ and Emily headed to a more private, secluded area in the house; something Emily took as a sign that they'd definitely be having "adult conversation." They talked like they always talked. They discussed things big and small; some pointless, others not. But when they started repeating themselves and JJ mentioned the three of them, her, Em, and Garcia, hitting up their favorite store that was having a "huge" sale for the fourth time, Emily knew JJ didn't know how to broach whatever it was she wanted to get to. So Emily helped her out.

"Not that I don't enjoy talking with you Jayje, but it has been a long day and I know you have something on your mind. You didn't want to talk about the need to feed our shoe obsession or the latest water cooler rumors."

"Well, I do need to hit that sale."

"Jayje."

"Ok. So I wanted to discuss New York."

"What about it? It was a good trip, wasn't it?" For the most part…

"Yes but…"

"But what?"

"It's just… Your story, the one about the old friend. It seemed so, so familiar; so reminiscent. I just." She knew they were going to go back to that. Emily sensed that JJ picked up on a little more than she should've when they were in that restaurant, and she knew, eventually, questions would be asked.

"And you want to know who exactly this friend was."

"The dancing, the talking, the whole thing just sounded so much like…" Emily cut her off and helped her out.

"Like Charlie's father?" JJ nodded. "And you want to know if it was him?"

"Was it? I've seen you dance with guys before, even ones you were obviously attracted to, ones that you've known for a while, and nothing. But this guy has one dance with you and he's taking you home." JJ knew her friend; even with Emily's private nature, she knew her pretty well. And it would take a lot more to get Emily to get into bed with a guy, especially when she could've easily gone back to her room to be with her sleeping child. So there was something there. Emily would spill. JJ would get her to open up. "And you had that same look on your face when you talked about him. It all fits together. So was it him?"

"Honesty Emily." She told herself. "You are trying to be more open. Listen to the shrink. Don't hold back." She mentally cringed at the thought. Pulling herself out of the conversation in her head, Emily answered, "It was him."

"I knew it!" She squealed, a little too much like a giddy Garcia. Obviously, they've spent too much time together.

"You got it." Was that the end of it? "Why does that make you so happy?"

"Is he from New York?" JJ got the door opened and she was going to juice it for all it was worth. Her foot was in the door and she was hoping to close it behind her. She really wanted all the details. "I don't really know that much about him."

"He doesn't live there/ No, he was just there…" She reminded herself, again, to be truthful, but she wasn't ready to discuss or even mention that it was Hotch. She already mistakenly gave away too many hints to his identity and neither parent was ready to divulge that to the world. "He was there to visit family. We just happened to be there at the same time."

"Coincidence then?" She doubted it. "I thought things between you weren't great because of the way he reacted to everything. I mean, Em, he had you in tears."

"I know Jayje."

"And you're just over it?"

"I'm not over it. But I'm really, really trying to make peace with it."

"You never told me what exactly happened, but the fact that you were near tears in front of me… That spoke volumes. So whatever it was was bad."

"It was."

"And then you slept with him."

"I did." She stated matter of fact-ly.

"Why?"

"It was… We were… I think it was the heat of the moment. We were arguing. Things got…"

"Heated?"

"Yes, and then he kissed me and it was like the beginning all over again." In many ways, that didn't make sense. Their beginning was also their middle and possibly their end because there really wasn't a them. They were together that weekend. They weren't in a relationship, but they were tethered together forever by the life they created.

"The kiss was that good?"

"It wasn't even about the kiss being good or bad. It was about how I felt. We were, we are, having problems. You know that. I kept him from Charlie and he reacted… the way he reacted. And that has caused this cloud of resentment and anger to surround us. But after the shock wore off, I felt safe in his arms. I felt secure and comfortable, and for a short while, everything bad was erased. We were just Emily and…" She caught herself. "And him. We weren't two angry people. We were just us." As she spoke, she just looked down to her lap where she watched her own hands pick at her nails. Not once did she look at JJ until she was done. Once she did, she couldn't quite understand what she saw. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"It's just, usually I have to beat it out of you."

"I'm working on it."

"Well I like it. I just, I've never really heard you talk like that. You made it seem like he was someone you knew, who was maybe more than a friend, buy not really. That was it. But I see your face when you talk about him and it's like you really care."

"How am I supposed to be? I do care about him. He gave me Charlie. Aren't you supposed to love, in some respect, the man that gave you a child?" Consensually at least…

"But it's different with you. You're not in a relationship with him, but you still feel something."

"Not like that. Not the way you're seeing it." Emily insisted. JJ was making it more than it was.

"Em, how long have you known him?"

"A good fifteen years or so."

"And how long have you cared for him?"

"Jayje, I see where you're going with this, and I already told you. It's not like that. We have never been in a relationship. We probably never will. Whatever I feel for him is because he is a friend and he is important to me and Charlie."

"Probably?" JJ asked merrily.

"Really? That's what you go with." Of course she'd pick up that ambiguous word. "We will never be in a relationship. What we had was the cliché drunken night that resulted in a child and a repeat many years later, sans the child."

"Is that all it is?"

"JJ…"

"Come on Em. You were doing so well."

"And now I'm not."

"Ok fine, we'll table this… for now. But know that I will get it all out of you. I'll get you to admit everything. And since you've gone all Emily on me and closed up, I want all the details you didn't tell us. Garcia's not here," not that she'd really go spreading the word around, "and whatever you tell me won't leave this room."

"I already told you everything."

"No, you left out all the good stuff."

For at least another hour or two after that, they talked about it. JJ tried to coax whatever she could out of her stubborn brunette friend. Emily keenly caught on to the expertly timed lost questions about her feelings and the possibility of more with him. JJ even tried to get a name, something she had spent more time than she probably should've trying to figure out. Emily had to hand it to the blonde, she could interrogate well. JJ even managed to get a little out of her on that front. It was nothing earth shattering or particularly revealing, but the fact that she got Emily to admit to ever even having a school girl crush on the guy, was a step. She didn't know what the therapist was doing, but it was working. JJ liked this side of Emily. Even though there were definite moments where her friend was holding back, JJ could see that ever since she survived Doyle, Emily had tried to talk more; to share more. It was a good thing.

They were just sitting there talking when a timid Charlie came up behind them and quietly spoke to Emily. It wasn't the same Charlie that greeted Emily just a few short hours ago. "Mommy?"

Turning around to see her daughter Emily responded, "Hey baby." The moment she saw Charlie's face she knew something wasn't right. "What's wrong?"

"Can we go home?" That wasn't like her at all. She loved being with Henry. Usually she begged to stay longer.

"What's the matter? Did something happen?"

"I… I want to make cookies. You said we could make cookies." She was lying. Emily could see that, but she could also see that, for whatever reason, she didn't want to be there any longer.

"Ok, go get your coat and shoes and say goodbye to Henry." The little girl nodded and slowly walked away.

"Is she ok?" JJ asked, having slightly overheard the conversation.

"I don't know. Maybe Will wore her out."

"Let's go find out." The women walked into the living room where they found Will picking up some of Henry's toys.

"Hey Emily. Did Charlie find you? She said she wanted to ask you something."

"She did, thanks Will."

"Were the kids fighting?"

"No." Odd. Something had to happen. Charlie wasn't being herself; Emily realized that after a few glances and several exchanged words.

"She didn't eat though. Said she wasn't hungry. Quiet all afternoon."

"Thanks for telling me. I'm going to get her home."

"Let me know what's going on once you find out."

"Of course Jayje." Emily said before calling Charlie down. The little girl, who would normally run down the stairs with reckless abandon and a smile on her face, looked glum. Before leaving, Charlie walked over to JJ and Will and said goodbye and thank you for having her over. The girl was too polite.

Things didn't change when they got home. Charlie was still unusually hushed and slightly withdrawn. Emily was trying to cajole it out of her on the ride over, but to no avail. They were just too much alike; silent in their suffering. "Do you still want to make those cookies?"

Shaking her head Charlie asked, "Can you read me a story instead?"

"Of course I can Charlie. But you have to tell me what's going on. Are you ok? Did something happen at school or did you and Henry have a fight?"

"No."

"No? Do you feel sick?" Charlie hesitated and Emily knew right away that that was what it was. "What hurts?"

"Can you read my story now?" Emily was worried.

"Ok Charlie Bear. Go lie down and I'll be right there."

Silently, she nodded and slowly made her way to the bedroom. Charlie had been sick before, and this time didn't seem any worse than any other illness they faced, but Emily had this feeling. There was something in her body, call it maternal instinct or whatever, that was telling her to keep a close eye on her baby girl. They were too much alike and Emily knew that, like her, Charlie would hide the bad pains and feelings if she thought it would scare her mother, more so then than before.

Before going to be with Charlie, Emily grabbed a book, an actual book, and her phone. She typed a quick message to JJ to let her know what was going on. _Charlie not feeling well. Keep eye on Henry see if it's contagious. _Sending it, she made her way to her daughter. She promptly received a response from JJ. _Poor baby. Tell her to feel better. Let me know how she's doing and I'll watch Henry._ Putting her phone away, Emily walked into her room. Charlie was already asleep; restlessly. For a while, Emily just watched her. Charlie didn't look peaceful like she normally did. So, putting down the thermometer and medicine and everything else she had in her hands, she walked over to her daughter.

She was warm; slight fever warm. Emily could feel it on her lips as put them on her daughter's forehead. Emily would stay on top of that. She wouldn't wake her up for medicine just yet. When Charlie was sick she tended to wake up often and it was better to let her sleep whenever, but if it got worse or if Charlie woke up, she would definitely give her something and make sure it didn't get worse.

Around 9 O'clock, Emily was startled from her papers. She was sitting perched in the chair reading over a file, looking over to Charlie every so often. While she squirmed a lot and that wasn't typical, physically she didn't look any worse; maybe a little pale, but she shared her mother's complexion. But the silence of the night was disturbed with small whimpers. The noises made her spring up immediately and rush to her daughter's side. "Hey, hey Charlie, mommy's here." Emily's hand hovered over her forehead catching a little bit of sweat. The fever was worse. "Baby, you have to tell mommy what's wrong?"

Sniffling, she said, "It… It hurts mommy."

"What does?"

"Mu… my belly hurts."

"It's ok. You're going to be ok." Emily assured her and rushed to her bathroom to grab a cold cup of water and a cool wash cloth to cool her down. "Drink this sweetie." Emily said as she helped her little girl sit up in bed.

Not even one full sip of the water and Charlie was throwing it up, leaning over the edge of the bed and letting it all out. "I… I'm sorry mommy."

"Don't be sorry baby. It's ok. Mommy will clean it later." It didn't matter that some of it got on her clothes or her bed linens. All that mattered was making sure her daughter was ok. And in that moment, she wasn't. She looked to Charlie's crying face and saw it wrinkle and green. "Are you going to throw up again?" Emily asked. Charlie reluctantly nodded. Emily reassured her daughter that everything would be ok as she lifted her up and set her down on Charlie's little footstool that she moved closer to the toilet. Every movement seemed to make her daughter cry more. But, sure enough, they were just in time for round two.

She tried everything. When she tried medicine, Charlie just threw it up. Water, she vomited more. There were bouts with nothing, but the pain was getting worse and the fever higher, she was cold when she was hot, and Charlie let it slip that she was feeling crappy all day with nausea and a stomach ache. Emily was terrified of the situation, terrified for her little girl. She was scared that Charlie would be dehydrated. Charlie hadn't eaten most of the day and everything she drank seemed to be gone from her system. Whenever she drank more she couldn't keep it down, and they were in that bathroom on and off for hours. But then the situation changed. Everything else aside, Charlie was crying in pain, not whimpering or complaining, but crying out. "Make it stop mommy! Make it stop!" She called. "It hurts."

Emily made the decision then. It wasn't just a bad cold or the flu, it was serious. Serious required a trip to the local Emergency Room. Without second thought, Emily carried Charlie to the car, buckled her in, and raced to the hospital. Charlie didn't even want to be touched. She was in pain and sick and hurting and there was nothing Emily could do. She just had to watch her little girl suffer. If Charlie wasn't so adamant that she was ok in the beginning, Emily probably would've brought her to the hospital right away just to be safe, but, again, her daughter was way too much like her.

All Emily could do was not panic, and trying not to was making her start to panic. The whole car ride there she focused more on the image of her ailing daughter in the rearview mirror than the road in front of her. Dangerous as it was, it was compulsory. Maybe she was just a nervous parent. Maybe it was just a really bad cold and she was overreacting because it seemed worse, but her gut was still telling her it was more. And she was going to do whatever she could to make sure Charlie got help and got better. That was what mother's did; street safety be damned.

She didn't know how she got them there safely, but she did. And as soon as they got there, Emily cradled Charlie in her arms like a baby, one hand under her knees, the other supporting her neck. And she carried her in, whispering that she was going to get help and that she was going to be ok all while trying to ignore the quiet cries that were breaking her heart. This was a problem Emily's motherly touch couldn't help. It was beyond her realm of expertise.

As they entered the hospital, the last semblance of the cool, calm, and controlled FBI agent was gone and panicked mother with sick child took its place. She demanded help, told the nurse or front desk guy or whoever he happened to be that if he didn't get someone to help her child right then and there, she'd have a certain hacker friend put him on sex offender registry and ask her government friends start some sort of investigation into the pot habit he seemed to be sporting; red eyes and all. Granted, she couldn't really do that last part, but he didn't know that, and in that moment she really didn't care if he did. Needless to say, her threats worked. It took mere minutes for Charlie to be on a gurney being wheeled away into a cubicle.

Most of it was a blur. They pushed her out of the way as they did an exam. They asked her questions that she answered. Then they asked some to Charlie that she could barely respond to, instead calling for mommy. But when mommy tried to come the doctor said, "We need to work ma'am, please stay out of the way." Were all doctors assholes? That was her kid. That was her kid who was lying there looking smaller than she was, fragile as she was eaten up by the massive bed and dressed in a dinosaur covered hospital gown.

"What are you doing to her?!" Emily screamed at the doctor as he pressed down on Charlie's stomach causing her to emit a shriek.

"Ma'am, I need you to step out of the room please."

"No, absolutely not. That is my daughter. I need to be here."

The doctor ignored her. "Abdominal cavity is hard and distended." She said nothing else as they worked around her daughter. They spouted medical things like blood pressure, temperature, and all that. Emily couldn't really decipher one thing from the next as she focused on Charlie. They weren't treating her like a sick kid with a quick fix. They were treating her like a kid that needed emergent help; serious emergent help for a serious problem. That's not something a parent wants to see and definitely not comforting when she was hoping for them to just give her some medicine and send them home.

"Temperature's rising doctor. At 102.7 now."

Emily stood there dumbfounded, unsure what to do, and listened to the doctor order tests with a bunch of acronyms before he added, "Take her for an Abdominal CT just to be sure. We don't want to waste any time."

"Yes doctor." The nurse complied.

"What's going on? Where are they taking her?" Emily demanded answers.

"Miss Prentiss." The doctor had no patience for parents and his bedside manner needed work. "They're just taking her to run some test." Unconsciously, Emily let him guide her to the visitor's lounge. "I ordered her something to ease the pain while they do the tests. I know this is difficult, but we're doing everything we can to help her. I have a few more questions. Can you handle that?"

"Yes." He asked her when the fever started, when the pain started, everything she should have known, but only knew to a point. She was kept in the dark until she realized it. Charlie seemed fine that morning, happy and normal. She even seemed ok when Emily first saw her at JJ's. What happened? "What do you think is wrong with her? Is she going to be ok?"

"Once we get the test results, hopefully we'll have a conclusive diagnosis and decide on a course of treatment. Until then, we're working on getting her fever down."

"Oh… Ok."

"I suggest you call someone, your husband, her father, just someone to be with you, and as soon as we know more. Someone will be out to talk with you."

All she could do was nod and watch him walk away. She was a complete mess. She wished it was her that was suffering and not Charlie. Charlie didn't deserve even an ounce of pain in her life and there she was, in agony, burning up, crying for help. If there was a mother out there who could handle that and not be affected, that woman obviously wasn't a good one. It was impossible to fathom the thought of, let alone see, Charlie like that. All sick and pale and vomiting in a hospital bed. And Emily felt like it was all her fault. Had she missed something? How hadn't she seen it earlier? What kind of mother was she to let her kid get so sick like that?

Without her permission, her legs just began moving. She went from pacing one second to sitting and shaking the next, once again picking her nails raw. "Call someone. He said I should call someone." She reminded herself. In her nervousness and rush to get out the door, she didn't even know if she grabbed her phone. She was lucky to even have grabbed her driver's license and insurance card. Fortunately for her, she did have it on her. The problem then was who to call. She settled on one person and dialed their number. Yes, it was like one in the morning, but Emily didn't realize that. And if it turned out to be nothing she'd feel bad for waking them, but at that moment it wasn't about anything but her need for support so she could be there for Charlie.

"Mmm, hello." A groggy voice answered the phone.

"Will, it's Emily. Is JJ there?"

"It's one in the morning Emily. Is something wrong?" If she answered, she would've broken down and she couldn't do that with Will. She was already teary eyed and anxious. She didn't want to be a blubbering mess too.

"Is JJ there Will?"

"No, she got called in for a case about an hour ago."

"Oh… um… ok. Bye Will." Without listening to him ask what was wrong, she just hung up. Her support system, everyone she'd think to call that was in the area, was busy with work; important work. And while she knew the next call she made wouldn't be someone who could be there in a few minutes to sit and wait with her, it was a call she had to make.

"Darling, you're calling awfully early here. A man needs his sleep too."

"Clyde?"

"Emily? What's wrong?"

"Charlie's in the hospital."

"What happened? Is she ok?" Emily filled him in with what she knew. There was something comforting about listening to him tell her it was going to be ok, someone that knew her and her daughter say that Charlie was going to be ok, and to just know that he was on the phone with her; that she'd always have him, especially when everyone else couldn't be there.

"I really wish you were here Clyde."

"Me too Darling. I'd be with you if I could."

"I… I tried calling JJ, but the team was called on a case."

"Did you call him?"

"They're on a case."

"He'd be there with you."

"How do you know?" She snapped.

"Listen to yourself. You need to calm down and focus on Charlie. Call him, or at least your team. Case or not, they'd want to know. He, or they, would be there. She is important to all of us. More people love that girl than she'll ever know."

They talked a bit more. He was helping take her mind off the waiting; the long, long wait. He was distracting her, keeping her calm when she was anything but. Emotionally, even physically, she was a wreck. What she didn't know was that, as they were talking, he was on the computer trying to book a flight. Serious or not, he didn't know, but he needed to be there, especially if she was so insistent on being pigheaded and refusing to lean on her friends.

"Emily, love, you need to hang up with me and phone him."

"Clyde…"

"Phone him, phone any of them, and call me the minute you know anything." She remained silent. She knew she should listen to him, but she couldn't worry about them on top of Charlie. "And tell our girl I love her."

"I will Clyde." Once that call ended, she went back to waiting. She debated making that next call, but all she had was uncertainty. She couldn't call with uncertainty. She needed sureness, and until she had that, any call she made would be as much of an incoherent mess as she was at that time. Instead, she just sat there, or walked around, picked her nails; she did whatever to pass the time without throwing something or screaming at the hospital personnel to tell her what the hell was going on.

It felt like forever. And maybe it had been. Her sense of time had diminished. Minutes were feeling like hours and that wouldn't change until she knew her baby was safe and well. But they were doing tests. She didn't know if Charlie was safe and well. She wouldn't until they told her and they didn't seem to want to do that.

In the midst of her latest round of pacing, she felt a hand grasp her shoulder. She didn't even hear the person walk up to her. She didn't hear anything other than the thoughts in her mind and the tick of anticipation. But the touch got her attention and she whipped around, surprised with who she saw.

"What are you doing here?"

"It shouldn't be a surprise that I'm here. She's my daughter too."

"Fair enough." She was calm… on the outside. He was too.

"When I heard… I just… I needed to be here with you."

"How did you know?" She asked curiously. She didn't actually make a call. Did she? Even in her haze, she would've remembered that. Right?

"You called Will. Will called JJ. JJ had Garcia track your phone. We found you here and the records showed a Charlotte Prentiss had visited the ER." Not to mention a quick call from Clyde right before that information came telling him to get to the hospital and nothing more; no hello or goodbye, nothing but the name of the hospital and the demand he go there. "I had to come." He did, and he had to stop the rest of the team from coming too. Unfortunately, they all couldn't leave the job. Instead, they just blew up Emily's phone. But like all the noises around her, she hadn't even heard the beeps of the other line when she was on the phone with Clyde or the rings that came once she hung up with him.

"You were on a case. I, I should have called. I thought about it, but I… I didn't know if I should."

"If you called I would come… no questions… always…"

All Emily could do was nod through the tears and sniffle as he led her to a seat. All the pacing wasn't doing her any good. "She's sick."

"How bad?" He was the concerned parent too; worried for his little girl.

"She was in pain and she was crying and she had a fever and I've never seen her like that. She was tiny and weak." Emily turned her gaze away from a spot on the wall and turned to Hotch. "She is not weak."

"No, she's not."

I couldn't touch her."

"What?"

"Every time she moved, every time I held her, everything just made her cry. My touch made her cry."

"That… That's not what happened. She is just sick and hurting." He too was panicking internally. His daughter, who he barely had a chance to know was in the hospital with god knows what. She could've been dying or she could've been fine, but the unknown was killing him. Knowing she was hurting was killing him.

The silence took over as the two just sat there, side by side, staring into the air as they waited for news. All she wanted was something; was for the doctor to come out and tell her what was happening or for everything to be fine. What was taking so long? Did tests really take so much time? Was how she was feeling how everyone was feeling when she was fighting for her life in Boston? If it was, she was so sorry for them. She was about to turn to Hotch to say… something, when the doctor came over.

"Miss Prentiss." He started as they both stood to meet him. "And you must be Mr. Prentiss." Neither felt it necessary to correct him.

"What's wrong? Is she ok? What did the tests show?" Hotch was just as intent to listen to his answers as she was.

He explained to them that based on what was presented and what the tests showed, he believed it was appendicitis. "It's tricky to diagnose in kids because the symptoms mimic those of other ailments. However, this is what we have concluded. With the pain and fever, we don't want to waste any time. If it hasn't ruptured, it will soon so we'd like to bring her to the operating room for surgery immediately." Somewhere along the line, she just stopped hearing it all. She was definitely hearing every word, and later, she'd probably be able to repeat it verbatim, but right then, she was lucky she understood the odd word here and there. "The best course of action is an appendectomy. Instead of going in using a laparoscopic technique, I'll be making a four inch incision on her lower right abdomen… cut through the peritoneal cavity… remove appendix…" She didn't need him to tell her step by step what he was going to do. Well, she did, but first she needed to know that Charlie would be fine. "I need one of you to sign the consent form here. The sooner we get in there, the less chance there is of complications and infection. If we get in there before it ruptures, it's better for her and it makes our job easier."

"Emily." Hotch got her attention when she made no move to sign. She just stood there trying to process as the doctor looked to him to sign instead. "Emily, you need to sign this. Father or not, I'm not on the birth certificate. Legally, I can't authorize it. And she needs this." If JJ was there, she would've been able to authorize it. He was jealous about that; angry about that.

"Please sign here." The doctor repeated.

"What? Yeah, ok." Mindlessly, she signed on the line and handed it back to him. She vaguely heard Hotch ask if they could see Charlie first and he swiftly was answered no. They had to prep her and take her. There was no time. The answer made Emily want to punch the guy. Should she have Garcia put him on some sort of criminal registry?

"I'll have someone keep you updated."

"Thank you." Hotch answered for them. He stood there and watched her. She remained unmoving, hands still out like she had just received the clipboard where the form was held. "You heard him Em. They'll do the procedure and she'll be fine." He had to believe that. It was a common procedure. The doctor told them that. But Hotch knew, and he assumed Emily knew, that simple doesn't always go right. The simplest plans have the greatest opportunity for complication. He had to wonder if it was the same for surgery. A number of things could go wrong. And at that point, it was out of their hands. He wouldn't allow this chance to fade away. Charlie had to be alright because he wanted to get to know her and he wanted to be her dad.

"Yeah… yeah… Everything will be fine." Emily had no idea what she was saying. It was just a natural reaction to respond.

"Listen Emily. I promised to call everyone. They were angry they couldn't come be here with you and her. So I'm going to call them. You should sit down. Ok? I'll be right back." He was hesitant to leave her. He was struggling to keep it together and he had yet to see the girl. Emily was tortured with it all and it was written on her face. She was petrified and so beautiful in her maternal glory, but he shunned himself for thinking that last thought. He had to focus. While he didn't want to leave her, he needed to make the call or they'd all show up there and their case would go to hell. And, right then, he didn't care about the case, but if they were there dealing with it, he could be with his daughter. That was what he needed; he needed to be there for Charlie and Emily.

When he returned from the call, Emily still hadn't moved from her spot. She was standing, arms crossed, one hand in a face palm, covering her eyes. He wanted to help her, but he didn't know how, especially not when he was feeling it all too. Before approaching her, Hotch took a deep breath, hoping it would calm him, and pushed down his own doubts. She needed him to be the strong one there. So often that role fell to her, but this time the burden was to fall on his shoulders.

Silently, he stood beside her and looked at her. He wasn't sure she even knew he was there. She didn't react to his presence. Not even when he put a hand on her arm did she respond. Nor when he helped her into a chair. He swore she was crying and just didn't want to let him see. So he just let her be. He was there when she was ready. That was, until she started biting and picking at her nails so bad she drew blood. Then it was time to distract her.

"The first time I ever met her, I had no idea who she was, but she just sucked me in." He said, searching for her to say something.

"She does that." It worked.

"I called her sweetheart."

A smile, one that had been absent from her face all day, finally returned. "You did?"

"Yeah. There was just something about her that I couldn't turn away from."

"Nobody can." She said, forgetting for a moment who she was talking to.

"But I did."

"I guess you did."

"You know she called me sir?"

"She's very polite."

"It was this tiny little voice from this tiny little girl, but when she said that, she didn't seem so little. There was something about her voice that was so familiar and eerie. I should have known then who she was."

"You couldn't have known. I didn't tell you."

"No, you didn't, but right now that doesn't matter." Again, he looked to her, but she still wouldn't look to him. She remained fixated on the wall as she played with her fingers. Still, he tried to entice her with talk. He told her more about the first time they met. He told her about all the stories Jack told him. He explained how much Jack loved that little girl, neglecting to mention that he was her brother. That was something to be discussed at a later time. He just did whatever he could to ease her pain and pass the time. Waiting sucked…

Once again, the silence took over. It was uncomfortable. Uncomfortable, not because of the company they kept, but because of the tension they had. Both were anxious for news. Anxiety and uncertainty stiffened their bodies. The air was tainted with the possibilities; none of them great. No matter how they looked at it, their daughter was suffering and they couldn't do anything to change it, but wait.

"They're taking her into surgery Aaron." Her voice was shaky and her eyes misted cutting through the awkward atmosphere like a very sharp knife.

"I know Emily."

"That's our baby and they're taking her to surgery to cut her open and play with her insides." Disturbing images passed through his mind as he tried not to make it literal in his head. That wasn't how she meant it.

"She's strong… like her mother. She's going to be fine." He assured her.

"Is it? It really doesn't seem like it."

In a moment of intimacy, a moment of parental bonding, a moment that could only be shared between them, he slid his hand over hers. Bloody from her incessant picking, he ran his finger over her forearm before laying his hand atop hers. Gently, he squeezed it, giving her reassurance and finally held her gaze. "Everything's going to be fine," it had to be, "and I'll be here, every step of the way." They just continued to stare into each other's eyes, just hoping what he said was truth; hoping that everything would be fine.

**Nominations are open for the 2012 Annual Profiler's Choice Awards.**

**If there are authors or stories you deem worthy, whoever they may be and for whatever category, you should nominate them. I know I have some stories I'm going to nominate. Go to the link below for more details. You need an account on FFN to nominate.**

** topic/74868/69379386/1**

**Sorry it took me a little longer than two weeks. Life and sudden need to change the chapter will do that. If you left a comment, check out the responses.**

**greengirl82**** Yay me! Best chapter… Hearing that makes me happy. And I swear, I tried to be faster. I had this chapter done less than a week after I posted the last one, but I deleted all 12,000 words to start from scratch because I felt what happens in this chapter needed to happen before everything else. It will make sense later.**

**HPforever-after**** They totally did do it. I figured people would expect some heavy petting, but I wanted it to go further. It will, possibly, be both good and bad for their relationship. At first it might be a little awkward for them, but things pay off in the end. Wait and see. You're right, they do need to see the other's perspective and work through things (hint, look for a little of that in next chapter, already have some of it done). But I kind of like their tempers flaring… It leads to sex… **

**Emilyhotchnerforever**** I didn't personally acknowledge reviews at first, but I find now that it's a way to connect with my readers, so from now on, I will. So if you write one, expect a response. I'm sorry for making you cry, but it was a question that both needed to ask. Something had to go wrong for them to end up where they did. They need to find out what it was and fix it. I'd love for a serial killer to kill off Beth too, but then Hotch would never date again. Everyone he cared about would end up murdered. Unfortunately, Paget's only in the premiere of SVU, but I'll be watching that. Alex Blake is the character who is taking Emily's spot. Hate her already? I loved Huff too. **

**123a456e**** Hotch did a bad thing… Or not, you'll have to wait one more chapter to find out who he was talking to and what it was about. It's not so much about what he did; it's what he does with it that will make the difference. Also, I'm leaning towards a sequel because I had an epiphany of sorts where I saw the perfect ending to this story and the best start for the next. I'll let everyone know when I've decided for sure. Maybe I'll do a poll to see what title everyone likes. Glad you enjoyed that chapter; hope this one is just as great. **

**Samanthaclause**** Yes, I didn't want the brand to come out just yet. I have plans in my head that I hope fit into later chapters. I guess the question would be. Will Hotch be the one to find it? And if he does, how will he react? Everyone wants to know who Hotch was talking to. Was it a lawyer? Is it about custody? Hmmm, we'll have to wait and find out. **

**Cinnamonfa**** Yes, that's the kind of reaction I want! When readers want to punch some sense in the characters or make them see things it means they're involved and I love it. I agree, they need to grow up. To an omniscient observer like us, it's obvious, but if you see it from their view they're semi mature. Hotch is angry because he lost so much time and he missed out on so much. He can't get that back. A part of him felt it was better to walk away. And Emily is the protective mother. She wants what's best for Charlie and she doesn't know if that's Hotch. She sees that he walked away from her and doesn't want that to happen again. In her quest to protect Charlie, she hurts her a little by keeping her father away. Things will work themselves out… eventually. **

**red lighting ****Thank you! Enjoy this chapter. I think it's a necessary evil to lead into the next one. **

**lizard84**** Everyone wants to hit them. So violent… Did he call a lawyer? I don't know. You're right though, if he did, and Emily found out, that hole is probably big enough for his body to fit. Maybe he'll have a freshly dug grave for the rest of the team to investigate… And thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter and I hope this one is good as well.**

**Rugbygirrl**** I could see Emily going postal on Hotch… If it was a lawyer he called and if he wanted to fight for custody. But we don't know that was who he was talking to or that was what he was doing. I'm evil, but you'll find out, at least a little about that, in the next chapter…**

**rmpcmfan ****It can be addictive and this story has become like my baby so I don't plan to stop until it's done (even have a whole second story idea in my head if I chose to do a sequel). Stubbornness is a hard thing to overcome, but once they do, the possibilities are endless; both good and bad. **

**leahloahla**** The chapters' length amazes even me sometimes. This new one's almost 13,000. So it's up there. I love it though. I think the length and, hopefully, the quality, make up for the two or so weeks it takes me to update. I'm so glad you love this story. Having people want to read it makes me want to write it even more. I haven't decided yet on a sequel or to just make one long story of epic proportions, but I think I might do the sequel just because I came up with a nice way to end this and an interesting different way to start the next. We'll see. I'm not to that point yet. **

**Celina79 ****That's probably one of the best compliments I can receive. I pride myself on trying to get the emotions right and if it feels real, I'm doing what I set out to do. So thank you and I'll happily enable your addiction with future updates. **

**JaydaSalvatore ****I love that you love this story and I love it too! Thank you so much.****I hope I didn't kill you with suspense. Hopefully this chapter was worth the extra wait. It's my second draft. Nearly thirty thousand words to get it right. Enjoy. **

**SouthunLady**** I did take a little longer to update this time, but, in my defense, this is the second version I wrote for this chapter. The first one was just as long and I decided I didn't want to use it. I think it will be worth it though. It's great to hear that you feel that way. Being considered to have one of the most well written Hotly stories is an honor. So thank you.**

**HGRHfan35**** Yes, Aaron Hotchner was once a lawyer… His friend may or may not be one… Hotch does strike me as an avid planner, so calling a lawyer would be right up his alley, but that question won't be answered just yet. And they did have sex. Many people didn't expect that, but I had to do it. As for consequences… Think physically or emotionally. Which one would be most likely… right now? Trust me when I say, the headaches aren't really a factor as of yet. I'd say they are the least of her problems.**

**emmasong95 ****I love Clyde too. And the actor that plays him… God that accent… I'm a sucker for accents. But I wanted to write him differently. Most fics make him the bad guy. But even on the show I saw him as someone who wanted to protect Emily. So I wrote him as the friend, the guy who got Emily through the undercover work, and the friend that stayed in her life helping even after they were no longer coworkers. I like good Clyde. **

**dcatt**** I'm thrilled that you have found my story and enjoyed it so much. Sorry that you had to wait, but I'm hoping this chapter will have been worth it. I assure you, I have no plans to discontinue this story. I'll do my best to keep updates consistent every two weeks, but life does get in the way sometimes. Hopefully, the length and quality make up for the wait though.**

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**


	24. Amends are Hard to Come By

_I do not own Criminal Minds, only the characters I have created in that world._

**Longest. Chapter. Ever. It took me a while, I know and I apologize, but when you realize just how long this chapter is and how much I put into it, you'll understand why.**

Chapter 24: Amends are Hard to Come By

The team was called in to the BAU way too early or late for some people. Morgan was hitting up the bar scene looking for some Friday night honey. Garcia was practically passed out on the couch at the tail end of a late night movie marathon with Kevin. JJ and Will were tucked away safely in their bed, fast asleep. Reid had his head in a book, speed reading through his third of the night because he couldn't fall asleep. Rossi was doing what Rossi did; trying to work on wife number four enticing her with home cooked meals and lavish events. And that left Hotch, who was in a restless sleep, waiting for the morning to come so he could see his son. That was what they were doing when the calls came.

No one was particularly thrilled to have their weekends disturbed, but at least the case was still in Virginia. Though, it was a missing child case, believed to be an abduction by a serial offender. That was why they were called in. A ten year old boy was taken from his home just hours before their phones rang. The first hours were crucial in finding the child alive. So, frustrated or not, they all made the drive to Quantico and set up in their offices.

Everyone's there for the briefing before one and they set up in the conference room. They wanted to get ahead of the media and know all their facts before heading out to Montclair to check out the crime scene. Not twenty minutes into the briefing, in the midst of brainstorming for a preliminary profile, Hotch's phone went off. "Excuse me." He said and exited the room. He recognized that number and he was sure whatever the man had to say would lead to a conversation he didn't want to have in front of everyone. Stepping out, he put the phone to his ear and said, "What can I do for you in the middle of the night Clyde?"

"Charlie and Emily are at Stafford Hospital. You need to be there." Clyde didn't have time to baby Hotch. The message was clear enough. The man needed to be with his daughter and stand strong for Emily. He himself couldn't be there, but it really wasn't his place. He would fly to America to be there for them, but that didn't change the fact that Emily would want Aaron there whether she knew that or not. She wanted him to prove he could be a good father to Charlie and Clyde was simply helping that along; giving him the opportunity to prove that without her coaching.

"What? What happened?" He asked urgently.

"Just go! You should get there as quickly as possible." That was all he said before hanging up on Hotch. Aaron couldn't help but be confused. They were at the hospital? Was one of them hurt? Or both of them? Were they sick? Was it serious? What the hell kind of phone call was that? It was like a cryptic message made up of clues and he had to put it all together and figure it out and no idea how much time he had to do it. But really, he didn't have much to go by. And if something was wrong, wouldn't Emily have called him?

Hotch was debating whether to just go or not. Clearly, if he knew there was a problem, he would've been long gone, but he had to question whether he trusted Clyde. Was it all just an elaborate scheme on his part? A threat or a test? How much faith was Hotch willing to put into Clyde's words? The other question's answer he needed to weigh more. Was he willing to risk not listening and finding out Clyde was just trying to help?

No. No, if he said he needed to get to a hospital for Emily and Charlie, then that was what he had to do.

He just had to figure out how to get away… from the case and his friends.

Before he had a chance to figure it out though, he heard a commotion from the room. It wasn't so much a commotion as the sounds of worried voices; a worried voice, JJ's worried voice. So trying to think of a quick way out of there, he snuck back into the room just in time to overhear a bit of the conversation. "Well what do you mean she sounded worried? Worried how?" JJ had a hand to her blonde head rubbing at her temples. "Upset how?" Everyone was listening. What was she talking about? "She sounded like she was crying?!" Her voice rose. "Emily doesn't cry Will. What did she say?" She seemed frustrated, letting out a sigh as the rest of the group remained hanging on her every word once Emily's name was mentioned. "And that's all she said? 'Is JJ there?' And when you said no she just hung up?" Like the others, Hotch was intently listening. Was she getting the same news he did? Was she his information highway? Would JJ tell him if Clyde was just messing with him or not? "Alright Will, thanks for telling me. I'll try to call her and see what's going on. Let me know if anything else happens and give Henry kisses for me when he wakes up." She hung up the phone with an exasperated groan.

"What was that all about Jayje?" Garcia was the first to ask. "Something with Emily?"

"I don't know."

"What?"

"Will said she called, asked for me, and hung up."

"And that's it?" It was Morgan's angry tone that had heads turning to him. "Don't look at me like that. You're all thinking the same thing. Something has to be wrong for Princess to be calling in the middle of the night especially when she didn't know we were up anyway for a case. Is no one else worried?" They all were. They didn't have to verbally answer for that to be clear. The way they all looked to him, their faces morphing into ones of confusion and concern said it all.

"What else did Will say JJ?" Rossi spoke up, hoping if he was the one talking, the lack of information and the early hour wouldn't make Morgan more explosive.

"He said that she sounded upset. It was a very short conversation and all she did was ask for me."

"One of us should call her." Reid suggested.

"I'm trying to now," JJ said as she held the phone to her ear, "but she's not answering. It goes straight to voicemail." She tried again and nothing. "If she doesn't answer this time, I'm just going to leave a message."

"You've reached Emily Prentiss, leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible." The tell tale beep let JJ know it was time to say what she needed to say.

"Hey Em, it's JJ. The team's with me too. I know it's late, but Will told me you called and we're all worried. Call me back when you can." Determined to reach her, they all tried at least once to get her to answer, but she never did.

"Why the hell isn't she answering?"

"Maybe she can't."

"Why not? If she's up and calling JJ, I'm sure Princess can manage to answer one of our fifty calls."

"I can… I can do a thing…" Garcia spoke up in hopes of aiding the situation and breaking the flaring tempers. "You know, I can trace her cell phone. If she's home, then we have nothing to worry about. Maybe it was a nightmare and she didn't realize the time." Morgan nodded knowing firsthand that was a legitimate possibility. "And if she's not there, we should know where she is anyway."

"Do it Garcia." Hotch nearly demanded, hoping his voice came off more like a team leader than a worried father. But it seemed they were all on the same page no matter how he sounded, so before he even finished his command, Garcia was on her computer, click clacking away.

"Oh…Oh not good…" Garcia mumbled in between the pressing of buttons. "No, no… Where are you my little gum drop?"

"What's going on baby girl?" Morgan asked. Every person in the room instinctually moved closer like doing so would give them the answers they sought.

"She is most definitely not home." Hotch had to stand back and watch the scene. With each passing second and each piece of information he received, it seemed more and more likely that they really were at the hospital; more likely that something was terribly wrong, and more likely that he was wasting time dawdling about when he was needed elsewhere. And as he listened to the group around him, his heart just continued to race; faster and faster as the outlook looked grimmer. There was something wrong and he was just standing there. He should have left the moment he got Clyde's call. But, he reminded himself, he didn't know anything for sure. Emily may not have been home, but that didn't mean she was at the hospital. Right?

"Then where is she?"

"I'm trying to narrow that down right now. It would be a lot easier if she just answered her phone." In deep concentration, Garcia went at the computer. "I think I… I so got you Emily Prentiss. You can't hide from the great seeker of all… oh…"

"Oh? Oh what Penelope?" Rossi asked; a picture of fatherly concern.

"GPS puts her at Stafford Hospital in Stafford County. What… What is she doing there?" Garcia looked around to her friends with wide eyes hoping they would reassure her and tell her it was nothing. "And why isn't she answering? Damn it Emily!" JJ was too worried about the big picture to see what was right in front of her. Emily basically gave her a heads up hours before; JJ just didn't realize that yet.

Hotch knew he had to leave. Obviously, Clyde's directive was more than that. It was his way of letting him be there for them, and he needed to do that. It was a gift he couldn't refuse even if it came from him. "I'm going to try and call her again." Because the dozen texts and phone calls they already tried didn't do them any good, but that one would. When he heard her voice, for a second, he felt relief. When he heard her greeting, he assumed it was live; that she answered, but when the voice continued, it just angered him. And he thought about leaving a message, but the one he wanted to leave wasn't suitable for the team to hear. So, he simply left two stern words on her voicemail. "Call me." Aggravated with the situation and hitting the end button, he turned to his team and said, "Nothing. She's not answering still."

"Oh no!"

"You got to stop with the 'oh no's woman! What you got for us this time baby girl?" Morgan asked as he stared at her staring transfixed on the screen.

"She… and… But she's…" Garcia stuttered as she made some ridiculous hand gestures. Rossi, not exactly in the best mood, didn't have the patience to decode her words and needed to hear it straight.

"English Penelope. Use your big girl words."

"Um… See…" She pointed to her screen, not once looking to those around her. "I did something and, and I found…."

"What did you find?" JJ was quick to ask. Although they were all working through it, there was still some baggage where Emily was concerned after Doyle, so it was natural they were all be so worried. They were Emily's friends and they were in the dark. How could they not be worried?

"After we found out where she was I looked into hospital records. It doesn't say much, but…"

"But what?!" It was Hotch this time. He wanted to get out of there. He wanted to rush to the hospital and be with them no matter why they were there. It could've been a scrape on Charlie's perfect little girl knee and he still wanted to be there. And if it was Emily, he still wanted to be there; not just for her, but to help their daughter through.

"It… It's Charlie."

"What happened?" It seemed to be a collective question, coming from multiple sources.

"Oh my god! Emily told me she wasn't feeling well earlier. Charlie wasn't being herself and we knew something was up. I didn't think it was that bad though. Does it say anything Garcia?"

"No, and I can't really do anymore. I've done more than a few less than legal things already. I just… I just know that one tiny Miss Charlotte Prentiss was brought into and admitted into the ER at around 12:30 this morning." Aaron was staring at the door like a magic portal that would take him straight from the BAU to the hospital. His little girl was in the hospital… His little girl was in the hospital because she was sick and Emily never even called him… For a brief second, he could feel his anger swell. That was his daughter. He should've been Emily's first call. Instead, it was JJ or, worse, _Clyde_.

"That would make sense. She called around 1. I have to go there. We have to get there." Completely synchronized, the group moved to get their things, but Hotch couldn't let them go.

"No." As much as he wanted all of them, himself included, to be there and be with them, if they all left, the case would fall apart and they'd all lose their jobs. That couldn't happen either. "You can't go."

"Excuse me Boss man! I don't know who you think you are, other than my boss, but you can't stop us from going. She is our friend; they're both important to us. It could be serious and we need to be with Jujube! Emily needs us to be with her and mini E needs to know there are people fighting for her." He didn't disagree.

"I know that. We all need to know what's going on, but if we all leave we are going to bombard them. Right now we don't know anything other than that they're at the hospital." He hoped he sounded calm. He wasn't calm. It took every ounce of restraint he could muster to stop him from running the minute he found out they were actually at the hospital; even more when he knew Charlie was the one admitted. "We have a job to do and we can't stop just because something happened." Everyone went to protest, but he quickly silenced them. "There's a little boy missing, stolen from his bed…" Now they all felt substantially guilty. "Garcia, I need you here for tech support. He needs you and you're our best shot on finding a lead. JJ, there's going to be a media firestorm. I need you on top of that. Once Reid and Morgan finish interviewing the parents, I need you to prepare them should we decide to do a press conference."

"How can you think about work right now Hotch?" The question seemed foreign to his ears because it was slightly ridiculous. Of course he wasn't thinking about work. He was just setting things up so he could high tail it out of there and panic in the privacy of his own car as he sped to the hospital. And it had to be him. They could show up eventually, but he needed them to focus on the case so he could focus on his daughter. There was no way his head would be on the case and the missing boy deserved the best they could offer.

"I'm not. Believe me, work is the last thing on my mind right now." Jack, Charlie, Emily… His mind was everywhere but work. That was why he needed to get out of there and quickly. "But we have a job to do and each of your skills is needed." Turning to his only elder in the room, Hotch said, "Dave, can I have a word?"

"Sure Aaron." Rossi followed Hotch into the hall leaving the other profilers to talk amongst themselves. Each one was looking for a way out. They all wanted to be with their friend. "Something else going on Hotch?"

"I need you to keep an eye on them, be team leader on this case."

"Because of Emily?" There was a curious, yet knowing tone to his voice. Hotch would profile that later. Right then, he didn't have the time. Instead, he had to think of another excuse, but it'd be a legitimate one.

"Yes and no. I need you to take over so I can have a weekend with Jack. It's my weekend and if I don't take him, Haley's going to try and change the arrangement again. I don't want to let my son down. As soon as we got called in I was planning on going to Strauss, but with everything with Emily. It's…"

"I understand Aaron. Do what you need to do. I can take care of this."

"Thank you." Rossi had no idea how much of a favor he was actually doing. "I'm going to go be with Emily. I'll check in. In the morning I'll get Jack and if you need me, you can call."

"We'll handle it. You need to be with your son." And daughter… "Go." As their conversation finished up, they went back into the room to find a slightly irate group of people who instantly turned to him.

"Someone has to be with Emily. If she's not answering, something must be going on. One of us needs to be there."

"I know which is why I'm going to go."

"You?" There were several puzzled voices.

"Yes, right now I'm the best option. Rossi will oversee things and I'll call as soon as I know anything."

"Seriously Hotch, man, any one of us is probably a better choice."

"Well, right now none of you are an option. I'm leaving. I'll call the moment I know anything." He didn't wait for more. There was an itch in his body screaming to be scratched. And as soon as he closed the conference room door, he ran to his car. Bypassing the elevator and taking the stairs, he took the fastest route to get him to the hospital; to get him to them. He didn't care if his actions looked suspicious. He was sure he raised a few flags, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was getting there; everything else be damned.

As he entered the hospital in search of the mother of his child, he couldn't stop the anger he still felt. Not only was Emily a friend and a colleague, but they shared something. They shared… feelings; whatever they may be and whatever they'd chose to acknowledge. They also shared a life. They shared a daughter. In a sense, they shared blood. Both their blood lingered in a child. Their lives would forever be entwined and no matter what she was feeling about him, she should have called him.

He had every intention of staying mad too. That was his right. It was a logical way to feel. But he couldn't help but think back to that unexpected meeting of the minds in Central Park. He never thought he'd ever want or need the words of wisdom Clyde had to offer, but then he found himself turning to them.

_It was pure coincidence that the Hotchner men ran into Clyde and Charlie in Central Park. Hotch had told Jack all about the different statues and all the different things to see and do there, so Jack made him promise they'd go. And, for some reason, he didn't consider the possibility of running into them… __**him.**_

_But that was where they ended up. Charlie and Jack were running around the Alice in Wonderland statues and he was stuck with Clyde; Clyde, who for all intents and purposes was living his life. He was, what should have been, Hotch in the Prentiss life. He was essentially the father Charlie knew. He was the go to man. He was everything Hotch couldn't be or hasn't been or wasn't allowed to be. _

_Hotch spent a good portion of the opening greetings watching him interact with his family; yes, Charlie was his family, and, by extent, Emily too. It angered him to see Clyde hold Charlie like he was her father. Watching Clyde play with her and his son too… And then when he and Emily were dancing, Clyde's hands a little too low for Hotch's liking… It tore at him. It all did. _

_That night had been… It was both amazing and terrible at the same time. Being with Emily like that was natural. It was their chemistry reignited and it felt great, but it wasn't right. No, it felt right, but it was wrong. Instead of talking, they had sex; lot's of sex. And, in the end, while it may have felt so incredibly good, it accomplished nothing. In the end, giving into their primal desires may have made things worse. The night certainly didn't end with them parting on the best of terms; not exactly how he wanted. And seeing her leave, hearing the regret in her voice… Well, it really wasn't what he wanted to hear. He tried to make the situation better by acting like all was fixed, and he shouldn't have done that either, but he didn't want them to be further apart than they were before just because they came together for one night of freedom; no rules and no problems. But when she left the way she left, obviously the problems came back two fold and the rules were back in full force. _

_But he tried to ignore it all and just enjoy the day with Jack and his family. At the end of the day, he'd be heading back to Virginia, Jack would be going back to Haley's and his mother would be staying behind for a few more days. So, he just wanted to have a good day with them; his problems with Emily temporarily on hold. Even though it seemed they were putting their problems on hold a lot, and they were, it needed to be done. _

_Jack wanted to see the statues before meeting up with Uncle Sean and Grandma, so Hotch took him to Central Park. They made their way through the pathways, went by the playfield and conservatory water until they made it to the Alice in Wonderland area. And as soon as they did, it was hard to miss the sounds and sights that greeted them._

"_Dad look!" Jack exclaimed excitedly. "It's Charlie. Can I go play?"_

"_Go, just stay where I can see you."_

"_Ok. Thanks daddy." Jack didn't waste any time running to join Charlie. Charlie, who was, at the time, running around, laughing and hiding behind statues, welcomed him with open arms. Briefly, Hotch watched them play and interact; a grin and warmth spreading through his body when she smiled and waved at him. It was so natural for his children that it made him jealous. His son and daughter already had a great relationship and he barely had one with her at all. She and Clyde had a great relationship and that just made him angry. Add on that Clyde seemed a little too close to Emily for Aaron's liking and when he looked out to see where Emily was and saw Clyde there instead, every negative thing he was feeling toward the man that essentially filled his shoes, just multiplied. But like everything else he was feeling, he pushed it aside and made his way over to the bench. _

"_Ah, Mr. Hotchner." Clyde spoke as Aaron went to sit beside him. _

"_Where's Emily?"_

"_Breakfast with the women."_

"_And you're here with Charlie?"_

"_Do you have a problem with that Ar-ron?" The way he said the name, breaking it apart and emphasizing each syllable like he held all the power, speaking in almost a sing song type of way, bothered the brunette in a way that got under his skin like only another man could. _

"_No Clyde. No problem." He responded through clenched teeth. No, there was no problem at all… Nothing he couldn't handle…_

"_Lovely restaurant your brother has."_

"_Yes, it's very nice. He's doing very well for himself."_

"_Did you… enjoy yourself last night?" Hotch's fist clenched harder. It didn't take a genius to figure out that wasn't an innocent question. There was more to it than the obvious; there was another question veiled by the words._

"_For the most part… yes."_

"_Did you enjoy your time on the dance floor with Emily?"_

"_She's a great dancer." They were obviously talking around the subject. Clyde was taking a less direct route and Aaron wasn't letting anything slip. So in between bouts of staring at the kids, they would say something worthless; small talk that accomplished nothing. But Clyde was done. The back and forth was done. He had something to say and he needed to say it._

_Clyde turned to him, glaring. For most of their conversation, they never once looked to each other; instead, focusing on the kids, but to make his point, he needed to look Aaron Hotchner right in the eyes. Mano e mano…"I know something happened between you and Emily last night. I don't know what, but I can fathom a guess from her appearance alone. You're toying with her, messing with her emotions and getting in her head. And if you hurt her... hurt either of them… I will kill you without any hesitation." _

_The threat angered him, but he didn't let it show. He would not be intimidated by a blonde haired English bloke… No, Aaron Hotchner was not easily intimidated. "I believe you would Easter, but I don't know what you're talking about Clyde. Nothing happened between Emily and me. We simply danced and parted ways."_

"_Funny." Clyde said. "She said the same thing. 'Nothing happened.' And I didn't believe her either. What makes you think I'd believe you?"_

"_Believe what you want. If she didn't tell you anything, she obviously didn't want you to know."_

"_Or maybe she didn't say anything because she couldn't." Hotch looked at him curiously questioning why she couldn't say anything. "Maybe whatever happened made her so upset that she was in such an emotional state, she couldn't talk. Practically in tears. So let me reiterate Mr. Hotchner. If I find out you took advantage of her… If I find out that you hurt her in any way, I will kill you. I will do it slowly and painfully and you will be awake to feel it all until the very end."_

"_She was crying?" Of everything he said, that was what Hotch heard the loudest. He had hurt her… Again._

"_She was consoled. She's fine. But if I ever find out she is not fine and you are the reason…"_

"_I know, you'll kill me. I get it Clyde." He really did. He didn't take too kindly to the threats, but he got it. There was even a moment of respect there. Hotch actually respected Clyde; something he never saw coming. All the man wanted was to protect them. Didn't Aaron want the same things? So because of that, he found a common ground for them, a mutual instinct they had. The only difference was that he was actually doing what he set out to do. Clyde was protecting them. He was there for them. What was Hotch doing other than making things worse?_

"_Whatever did happen, last night aside, you have a chance here." Clyde was soft… The hardness he normally exuded wasn't visible. "None of that matters. She…" He pointed out to the playing children. "She… They are what matter." He shook his head as Hotch listened to the man before him, completely confused by what was happening. That man sitting next to him wasn't the Clyde he was accustomed to. It was like a lobotomy was preformed magically in the matter of seconds. "I know what you did."_

"_Clyde I…" He wanted to explain._

"_I don't want to hear it." He hissed. Clyde was angry with Aaron. He always would be a little angry. The man was absent even when he had the choice. And Clyde was always there. He was there for them when Aaron wasn't. And he wouldn't have changed any of it. He couldn't love Charlie any more than he already did. She was like a daughter to him; was, in essence, his daughter. But in the end, the role of father ultimately belonged to a man he could live without. That being said, he knew both Emily and Charlie wanted said man in their lives and he wanted that for them no matter how he felt. "It really doesn't matter anymore. Only someone Emily cares about can hurt her so much. Obviously, you are important to her. And this is your chance to prove that they are important to you." Clyde stood from the bench adding a strength to his words as he towered above the seated Aaron. "Apologize. Be there when she needs you or wants you. This is your chance to prove that you're worth it. Prove to Emily that you truly care about that little girl. Show her your love isn't conditional. Grow up. Be a father. Charlie deserves that. Prove that you deserve it too." Hotch just stared at him not knowing the right way to respond. "Come on Charlie. We need to get going." Clyde called._

After Charlie and Jack came running over, Jack tagging along because he didn't want to play out there by himself, Charlie informed Hotch that she was having a Clyde Day. _A Clyde Day?_ What was a Clyde Day? Immediately, as the words left her mouth, the jealousy Aaron was already feeling multiplied. Of course, he refused to admit it was jealousy. He was not, _**not**_ jealous of Clyde in any way. But he got his own day. Charlie looked forward to spending time with him… Needless to say, Aaron wasn't thrilled by the thought and definitely didn't take too kindly to it.

Anyway, the plan was definitely to be mad at her and to stay mad, but thinking about that conversation lessened it a little. But the anger stayed. It stayed until he saw her. When he saw the devastation on Emily's face, it all became so much more real and the anger just melted. It didn't matter whether what she did was right or wrong. It didn't matter what he felt. All that mattered, to both of them, was her; was Charlie and her well being. And, by the looks of things, she was worse for wear, kind of like her mother. Emily looked as fragile and broken as she did lying in her own hospital bed in Boston; a different kind of fragile, but still fragile. In attempt not to break her, he gingerly approached and reached out to touch her. When his hand connected with her unsuspecting body, she swung around to face him, surprise written all over her.

"What are you doing here?"

"It shouldn't be a surprise that I'm here. She's my daughter too."

"Fair enough." He saw her trying to be calm, just as he was. He still didn't know what was happening, but even in her calm, he could see the storm brewing behind her beautiful dark eyes; the same eyes their daughter had, the same determined look in them. And that look was the only thing keeping him calm.

"When I heard… I just… I needed to be here with you."

"How did you know?" She asked curiously. She didn't actually make a call. Did she? Even in her haze, she would've remembered that. Right?

"You called Will. Will called JJ. JJ had Garcia track your phone. We found you here and the records showed a Charlotte Prentiss had visited the ER." He would've been there sooner. He should've been there sooner. "I had to come."

"You were on a case. I, I should have called. I thought about it, but I… I didn't know if I should."

"If you called I would come… no questions… always…"

All Emily could do was nod through the tears and sniffle as he led her to a seat. All the pacing wasn't doing her any good. "She's sick." Like he didn't already anticipate it, his heart sunk. It was one thing to think she was suffering, a completely terrifyingly indescribable hurt to actually know.

"How bad?" He was the concerned parent too; worried for his little girl.

"She was in pain and she was crying and she had a fever and I've never seen her like that. She was tiny and weak." When she turned to focus on him, he could read her pain, but he could still see her fire. She wasn't giving up. Not knowing the situation, that gave him hope. "She is not weak."

"No, she's not."

"I couldn't touch her."

"What?"

"Every time she moved, every time I held her, everything just made her cry. My touch made her cry."

"That… That's not what happened. She is just sick and hurting." He too was panicking internally. His daughter, who he barely had a chance to know was in the hospital with god knows what. She could've been dying or she could've been fine, but the unknown was killing him. Knowing she was hurting was killing him.

The atmosphere felt tense in the silence. He was agonizing over every second. He limited knowledge of the situation and he really couldn't press Emily for any information in her state. That wasn't the man he was. He was supposed to be her support, not her downfall. So he remained stoic, in hopes that eventually, she'd turn to him and allow him to be her rock. For a second, it looked like he might get his wish as she turned to him and looked like she was about to speak, but they were interrupted by an approaching man in a lab coat.

"Miss Prentiss." He started as they both stood to meet him. "And you must be Mr. Prentiss." Neither felt it necessary to correct him. Assumptions didn't matter.

"What's wrong? Is she ok? What did the tests show?" Every word needed to be heard by the parents.

He explained to them that based on what was presented and what the tests showed, he believed it was appendicitis. Hotch heard every word, though he was sure Emily only caught pieces of it; enough to be informed, but also enough to make her go crazy. But he was relieved. Appendicitis, that wasn't too bad… It was fairly common. The procedure was routine. Of all the things that could've happened, appendicitis was one of the better options… Right? Even if it wasn't, he had to think like that. Emily was bound to be thinking like that, and if it was Jack, he'd definitely be thinking like that. Charlie was going to be ok… Hopefully.

"Emily." Hotch got her attention when she made no move to sign the consent form the doctor held out to her. And when the doctor looked to him, the apparently more mentally stable of the two parents, Hotch felt like an idiot. He couldn't sign. He would've, but he couldn't. "Emily, you need to sign this. Father or not, I'm not on the birth certificate. Legally, I can't authorize it. And she needs this." If JJ was there, she would've been able to authorize it. He was jealous about that; angry about that. And, technically, he was on the birth certificate, but it was just a name. Without his signature, it was worthless words on paper.

"Please sign here." The doctor repeated.

"What? Yeah, ok." Mindlessly, she signed on the line and handed it back to him.

"Can we see her before surgery?"

"I'm afraid not. We have to prep her and take her in. We don't want to waste time." The answer made Emily want to punch the guy. Should she have Garcia put him on some sort of criminal registry? "I'll have someone keep you updated."

"Thank you." Hotch answered for them. He stood there and watched her. She remained unmoving, hands still out like she had just received the clipboard where the form was held. "You heard him Em. They'll do the procedure and she'll be fine." He had to believe that. It was a common procedure. The doctor told them that. But Hotch knew, and he assumed Emily knew, that simple doesn't always go right. The simplest plans have the greatest opportunity for complication. He had to wonder if it was the same for surgery. A number of things could go wrong. And at that point, it was out of their hands. He wouldn't allow this chance to fade away. Charlie had to be alright because he wanted to get to know her and he wanted to be her dad.

"Yeah… yeah… Everything will be fine." Emily had no idea what she was saying. It was just a natural reaction to respond.

"Listen Emily. I promised to call everyone. They were angry they couldn't come be here with you and her. So I'm going to call them. You should sit down. Ok? I'll be right back." He was hesitant to leave her. He was struggling to keep it together and he had yet to see the girl. Emily was tortured with it all and it was written on her face. She was petrified and so beautiful in her maternal glory, but he shunned himself for thinking that last thought. He had to focus. While he didn't want to leave her, he needed to make the call or they'd all show up there and their case would go to hell. And, right then, he didn't care about the case, but if they were there dealing with it, he could be with his daughter. That was what he needed; he needed to be there for Charlie and Emily. Stepping through the automatic doors to a spot where cell phones were allowed, Hotch dialed JJ.

"Hotch? You're on speaker. What's going on? Is she ok? How's Emily doing?"

"The doctor is taking Charlie to surgery now."

"Surgery? Oh, my poor Jujube. What's wrong with her? What happened?"

"I don't know all the details, but the surgeon said they believe it's her appendix." He explained, elaborating a little more.

"And Emily? She must be a wreck."

"We have to go there!"

"Baby girl, you know we can't."

"But we have to."

As Morgan and Garcia had their own little conversation, Hotch talked over them. He explained what was happening. They all made it clear that they wanted to be there, that they needed to be there, but they accepted that he was going to be acting as their go between since he removed himself from the case. Rossi said that he told the team and Strauss, saving Hotch the trouble, that he needed the weekend off for Jack and they all took that at face value. To them, that was complete truth. And it was, but it wasn't all of it. But because of that, they accepted it. As long as Hotch continued to keep them informed, frequently, and stayed there for Emily, they would continue to accept it, even if they did have some doubt. He promised to do just that. "I have to go. Emily is by herself and she's not… She's not being herself. I don't want to leave her too long. I promise to call once we get an update."

When he returned from the call, Emily still hadn't moved from her spot. She was standing, arms crossed, one hand in a face palm, covering her eyes. He wanted to help her, but he didn't know how, especially not when he was feeling it all too. Before approaching her, Hotch took a deep breath, hoping it would calm him, and pushed down his own doubts. She needed him to be the strong one there. So often that role fell to her, but this time the burden was to fall on his shoulders.

Silently, he stood beside her and looked at her. He wasn't sure she even knew he was there. She didn't react to his presence. Not even when he put a hand on her arm did she respond. Nor when he helped her into a chair. He swore she was crying and just didn't want to let him see. So he just let her be. He was there when she was ready. That was, until she started biting and picking at her nails so bad she drew blood. Then it was time to distract her.

"The first time I ever met her, I had no idea who she was, but she just sucked me in." He said, searching for her to say something.

"She does that." It worked.

"I called her sweetheart."

A smile, one that had been absent from her face all day, finally returned. "You did?"

"Yeah. There was just something about her that I couldn't turn away from."

"Nobody can." He felt even worse than he already did when she said that. He didn't want to admit it, but he was that nobody.

"But I did."

"I guess you did."

"You know she called me sir?"

"She's very polite."

"It was this tiny little voice from this tiny little girl, but when she said that, she didn't seem so little. There was something about her voice that was so familiar and eerie. I should have known then who she was." He had no reason to know, no reason to believe Emily wouldn't have told him, but still, he should've known.

"You couldn't have known. I didn't tell you."

"No, you didn't, but right now that doesn't matter." Again, he looked to her, but she still wouldn't look to him. Still, he tried to entice her with talk. He told her more about the first time they met. He told her about all the stories Jack told him. He explained how much Jack loved that little girl, neglecting to mention that he was her brother. That was something to be discussed at a later time. He just did whatever he could to ease her pain and pass the time. Waiting sucked…

Once again, the silence took over. It was uncomfortable. Uncomfortable, not because of the company they kept, but because of the tension they had. Both were anxious for news. Anxiety and uncertainty stiffened their bodies. The air was tainted with the possibilities; none of them great. No matter how they looked at it, their daughter was suffering and they couldn't do anything to change it, but wait and hope.

"They're taking her into surgery Aaron." Her voice was shaky and her eyes misted cutting through the awkward atmosphere like a very sharp knife. Even so, he was a little relieved that they were back to Aaron outside of the workplace.

"I know Emily."

"That's our baby and they're taking her to surgery to cut her open and play with her insides." Disturbing images passed through his mind as he tried not to make it literal in his head. That wasn't how she meant it. On the other hand, it was an amazing feeling to hear her say "our baby" again.

"She's strong… like her mother. She's going to be fine." He assured her.

"Is it? It really doesn't seem like it."

In a moment of intimacy, a moment of parental bonding, a moment that could only be shared between them, he slid his hand over hers. Bloody from her incessant picking, he ran his finger over her forearm before laying his hand atop hers. Gently, he squeezed it, giving her reassurance and finally held her gaze. "Everything's going to be fine," it had to be, "and I'll be here, every step of the way." They just continued to stare into each other's eyes, just hoping what he said was truth; hoping that everything would be fine.

They didn't break apart. No matter what she was feeling, she needed the touch and the comfort it provided, and having it come from him was a welcomed advance. "I know I'm probably overreacting. She's going to be fine. Dr. Whatever his name said she would be. But I just… I need her to be ok." She spoke quietly.

"She will be." He removed his hand from hers and wrapped it around her shoulder, pulling her closer to him. "She will be good as new in no time. But you look so tired and I know it's hard, but try to relax. Charlie's going to want to see your smiling face as soon as she wakes up from surgery, so you should rest. If you fall asleep, I'll wake you the moment we get word."

Even with someone else there and only a miniscule amount of time passing by, the wait seemed excruciatingly long and painful. They may have had a diagnosis, but her baby was still in surgery, her baby was still under anesthesia, and any number of things could go wrong. Her mind was racing and she didn't know how she would get them to stop, but she would try. "Ok." She whispered as she leaned in closer to him, sinking into his side, her head resting against his shoulder. "Ok."

If it weren't for the situation, the circumstance of their encounter, he would've reveled in the moment. He would've felt the ease and perfection of the feel of her warm body nestled against his and the soothing comfort they were providing each other simply by being there. It wasn't that easy. Once the high adrenaline of a sick child passed, they'd actually have to face their piling demons, but the craziness of where they were gave them a blank slate. Until it was over, they were a cohesive unit; a secret cohesive family unit, but a unit all the same. If only it could be like that always…

His brain stopped thinking like that fairly quickly. He didn't know why he was thinking about it at all. There were more important things to focus on. But he was soothed and distracted by the quiet breathing coming from the body beside him. She really looked like she could use the sleep. The fact that she actually fell asleep with such anxiety weighing on her spoke volumes. It didn't even take long for him to join her, dozing off with her, his head tilting to his left atop hers which was still resting on his shoulder.

From an outside observer, they looked like a picturesque couple. And maybe, in some life, they could've been that; the perfect couple, the perfect family, the perfect package… But they were dysfunctional messes on the best of days and a fractured family at most. And any feelings of want or attraction they had for each other, they did their best to repress. And with the exception of one night, they were doing a good job.

The point was they didn't know how much time had passed as they fell into their restless sleep. They both squirmed; the equivalent of tossing and turning just in a more vertical position. Unconsciously, they worried about everything, but they remained glued to each other. They needed the touch to make whatever necessary sleep they could get as peaceful as possible. Charlie would need them to be strong, and they were exhausted. Even when the doctor made his appearance, though, they were cuddled up.

Hotch was the first to fully wake. The hospital noise and Emily's constant jostling finally got to him. But, it was just in time to see the surgeon approaching. Immediately, he sat a little straighter and moved to wake Emily up. Removing his hand from around her shoulder, he whispered to her. "Emily, wake up."

"I'm not sleeping." She wasn't. There were maybe a few minutes here and there when the exhaustion got the best of her, but other than that, her mind was so focused on Charlie that the best she could do was keep her eyes shut and try to unwind. She didn't want to develop one of her migraines while at the hospital for her daughter. "Who can sleep at a time like this?" She responded with her eyes still shut.

"The doctor's coming." She jumped into action after that. He followed suit and together they stood, waiting just a few more seconds to hear what they had been waiting for; hoping to hear all went well. As soon as the man stood before them, Emily jumped into the questions. He was just taking too long to say something.

"How is she? How was the surgery? Is everything ok? Why aren't you saying anything? You're just standing there like an incompetent ass when I want to know how my daughter is!"

The doctor looked immune to her outburst, but Hotch was a little surprised by it. Emily was usually so controlled and calm in crisis. The mother in her was really showing. So, before speaking to the doctor, he put his hand on her tense shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze. Her defensive position, hands crossed over her chest and fingers tightly gripping her own biceps, didn't ease. "I'm sorry doctor. We just want to know how she is."

Nodding in understanding, Dr. Manju said, "Charlie did very well." The parents let out a sigh of relief. They could finally breathe again. "Our initial diagnosis was correct. Luckily, we got in there before the appendix ruptured. We removed it. She's in recovery now. There were no complications while she was under, and she's just sleeping off the anesthetic now."

"Can we see her?" Surprising Emily, Hotch was quick to ask beating her to the punch. It was a good kind of surprising though.

"You can't yet."

"What?!" Emily interrupted. "What do you mean we can't see her?"

"If you let me finish Ms. Prentiss, I was going to tell you that she is still in recovery. Once she is moved to her own room, I'll have someone take you to her. It shouldn't be too long."

"Oh, ok. I'm sorry." Emily apologized. It wasn't her intention to be rude, especially not to a man who was caring for her daughter.

"I understand what it's like to be a parent in your situation. I am one too, so I won't take it personally. I'm going to go check on her. We'll get her set up in a room. Someone will get you when she's ready and we'll discuss this further after you've had a chance to see for yourself that she is ok."

"Thank you Dr. Manju."

Once the doctor left, Emily broke. She was holding it all in as best she could, but the relief pushed her over the edge. There was no holding it in, so she just let it out. She cried. It was a weird cry filled with a lightness, with almost a laughing quality. It was an awkward cry too as she chuckled as she wept. But she couldn't help it. She was just so relieved. What parent wouldn't have been? Still, she was such a mess.

And Hotch just watched the whole thing play out. He didn't know what to make of it. The strong woman he knew was reduced to a hysterical, blubbering mess. And he completely understood it. He was fighting the urge to do just as she was, but he knew he couldn't. One of them had to stay composed and he wasn't sure he had the right to feel the same way she did. He had the right to be relieved, which he was. But did he have the right to feel like she did? He didn't know.

Since he couldn't join her in her cries of reprieve, he needed to console her at least. He closed the tiny gap between them and pulled her close. Her shaking body rested against his, his nose meshed with her silky hair as he inhaled her scent. That was comfort to him. He needed to comfort her though. "Everything's ok now Emily. She's going to be fine." But she didn't stop. She just wrapped her arms around him like he did her and held on tight.

"She's going to be ok." Emily quietly repeated over and over. Her voice was so much lighter that a sense of peace washed over Hotch. Emily was ok too; that made him better.

"She's resilient, like you. A little thing like an appendix wasn't going to keep her down."

"No, no it wasn't." Emily spoke into his chest. "She's strong. I knew she was strong."

"Like you."

She pulled away slightly, just enough to look into his face without breaking apart. "Like you too." A half smirk played on his lips. He didn't know why hearing that made him so happy or made him feel so accomplished, but knowing that Emily felt their daughter's strength came from both of them made things better. It almost leveled the playing field. They were equal… "She gets that from you too."

Forgetting everything else; forgetting where they were, forgetting what they've been through, and forgetting how they ended up there, Hotch pulled her back to him and embraced her tightly. He just wanted to hold her and Emily wanted that too. "I'm so happy she's going to be ok."

"Me too."

"When I heard she was here… I didn't want anything to happen to her."

"I know. But she's ok."

"And I am so happy that it was something that had a fix. She's going to be fine, but…"

"No more… No more talking… No more thinking what if… Just… Just hold me ok? I need you to hold me. I never want to see her sick like that again. I don't even want to think about it… I just want you to hold me and remind me that she is strong and remind me that the doctor said she's doing great."

"I can do that." He wanted to do that. He did do that. They were just two parents rejoicing in their good news. Their little girl had a surgery. And that was scary. She was sick, and that was painful to watch. But all in all, things could've been worse; so much worse. Really, they lucked out. It was still nerve wrecking and terrible and every parent's worst nightmare, but the end result, as far as they knew, was as good as could be expected. Charlie was out of the woods, they caught it in time, and it was something that, while had the potential to be worse, was fairly common with a reasonably simple mend.

Taking a seat to wait, they still stayed in their embrace. They were enjoying the simplicity of it no matter how complicated everything else was, that was simple. Or it used to be… Trusting him with her life at work, her friendship outside of work; it was all simple and easy. It was the same for him. But they both made it hard. The lying, the words, the actions; it all made it hard. They were working to fix that though, and they'd get there. Eventually, they'd get there because they had to. They had to for their daughter and for themselves.

Nearly an hour later, a nurse came up to them and said they were bringing Charlie to a room. "Mr. and Mrs. Prentiss." She called. They were used to the assumption by then.

"Yes," Emily jumped and broke away from Hotch, "yes, that's us. Can we see her now?"

"They're just getting her set up in a Pediatric room. You can head over there now. It's room 3420. That's the East wing, up one floor. I can take you there if you want."

"No." Hotch insisted. "We can find our way." Emily didn't care how they got there, as long as they got there soon. "Thank you." With a polite nod, the nurse left.

"Are you ready to see our daughter?" Emily asked with a smile.

"Why don't you go ahead? I'll call the team so they don't storm the hospital and then I'll meet you there."

"Ok." Before leaving, she had one last thing to ask him and she knew he wouldn't like it. "Can you… Can you call Clyde for me? I know you don't like him, but he's important to me and he's important to her, so please?

"Sure." He answered reluctantly. They were on good terms then, he wasn't going to ruin that just because he didn't want anything to do with that guy; a guy that just so happened to help him.

"Thanks." He watched as she made her way down the corridor and into the stairway. He had to call the team and Clyde and then he'd be joining them. That was all he had to do.

Once again he found himself in an anxious phone call with his team on speaker phone. "She's out of surgery. Emily's going to see her now. I don't think she's awake yet, but she's doing well and they didn't have any complications. Everything's good."

"And Emily's doing ok too?"

"Emily's handling things. They're both strong and getting by."

"We should still be there; all of us. For our friend, for her daughter… They're our family Hotch. We're all one dysfunctional, crazy bunch of people, but we are family. We should be there." Morgan explained. A chorus of agreement was spoken.

"I know, but you guys have a case to work and I don't. That's the way it is right now. And Charlie is doing well. They wouldn't let everyone in anyway." He wanted them there too, but not yet. Call him selfish, call him greedy, call him whatever, but he wanted some time with his daughter. He wanted some time with Charlie and Emily, and possibly some time with Jack there too. He wanted it all.

A collective sigh was heard through the phone. They were all a little defeated and knew they weren't going to get their way. "They're really ok?"

"Charlie hasn't woken up yet, but the doctor is confident that she's going to be good as new. And Emily is Emily. She's struggling, it hurts her to see Charlie like that, but she's handling it like you'd expect her to be handling it." He wasn't going to tell them about the crying and the breaking down and the hugging. That was too much information and Emily wouldn't want him to share any of it. She believed her vulnerability to be weakness where others saw it as strength.

"Hopefully we'll get there soon. This case should be over soon."

"It's going well?"

"Yeah. We got a lead."

"Garcia's doing her thing running background checks on a few suspects and Reid's about to go do his thing with the map so we can get a location. We got things on this end. Do you have things handled there?" Hotch didn't appreciate the insinuation. He knew how to handle his family. He didn't need Morgan being surrogate man of the house telling him how to do his job. It was _his _job. He really needed to get that green eyed monster under control before it made him do something he didn't want to.

"Things are handled here. Emily's doing ok and I'm about to go check on Charlie. Let me know the progress of the case and if Strauss does anything or says anything about my absence, tell her to call me."

"Right." Morgan took the phone off speaker and moved away from the group. "I know you want to be with your own kid and the hospital's the last place you wanna be, but take care of them Hotch. They need and deserve to be taken care of and you're what they got." Was there a right way to take that?

"I'm here for them."

"Good."

"Goodbye Morgan." Yes, that call needed to end.

"Hotch."

While Hotch wanted off that phone call, he couldn't deny that Morgan was right on both counts. They deserved to me taken care of and he did want to be with his own kid. He wanted to be with both his kids. And he would be. Charlie would be waking up and he'd have Jack just a few hours later. So he'd have them both and he'd be there for Emily. He was the renaissance man, or not, but that day he was. He had to be.

Walking to the room, he stopped at the door. Charlie looked so sweet and innocent in that bed, the blankets tucked under her arms and dinosaurs dancing on her yellow gown and her hair down and neatly resting around her face. She was beautiful, and so was her mother. Emily was there, sitting next to the bed, staring at their daughter. Her face held a calm exterior to mask the maternal surge of emotion behind it as she held their daughter's hand and waited for her to wake up. Perfect; they were both perfect.

"I hate the waiting." Emily's voice surprised him. He was sure he was quiet so he didn't disturb her, and she didn't turn around, not even when speaking. So how'd she do it?

"How'd you know I was here?"

"You don't step as quietly as you think you do."

"How'd you know it was me and not a nurse or doctor?"

"I knew it was you. I know…"

Moving closer, he spoke. "How's she doing?"

"They say she should wake up within the next hour or so. I just want to see her eyes again and to hear her laugh. Then I'll finally be able to breathe again."

He didn't know if he had the right to say he did too; that he wanted that too. "May I sit?" He didn't know his place.

"Please." Emily responded, allowing him to pull another chair close to hers as they sat by their daughter's bed.

"Thank you." His voice was quiet in their wait.

"For what?"

"For letting me be here. I know I wasn't your first choice. I know you called JJ and she should be here with you, but I'm glad I was here. I needed to be here."

"Thank you." She mimicked his sentiments.

"For what?" It was his turn to ask that question.

"For being here. For being here for her, for me, with me." She emphasized that last part. "For knowing that you were needed here." She spoke meekly. It was like she was ashamed to say what she was saying. It was nothing bad; it wasn't bad to need someone, but she had been doing it on her own for so long. Nothing had changed. She had to remind herself that she was still doing it on her own.

"This is where I needed to be. I wouldn't be anywhere else." Not unlike their position earlier just on opposite sides, Emily looked to him with a faint and friendly smile as he did the same and placed his arm around her shoulder. She allowed it, unknowingly wanting his touch and him wanting the feel of her. It was the best thing for them. "You should try to rest. Now that we know she's ok and she should wake up soon, you should try to get some rest."

"I can't, not yet."

"Ok." She looked like she was fighting the sleep, desperately looking for something to keep her awake. He would try to help her out; if that was what she wanted, he'd try. "I have to pick up Jack at 10. Do you think Charlie will want a visitor?"

"I think she'd really like that."

"The team's all anxious to get here, especially JJ." Emily nodded, knowing without a doubt, that her family wanted to be there and would've been if they could. "More than one told me to take care of you. How am I doing?"

She lifted her head from his shoulder and looked to him. "You're doing a really good job."

"I think you make it easy. You're strong…"

"I don't feel all that strong right now."

"But you are. You are strong. I can be mad at you all I want. I can be angry with what you've chosen to do; the choices you've made, but that doesn't change the facts." He turned his body in the chair so he was facing her completely. Saying these words wouldn't magically fix things, but it was what he felt. And in that moment, he felt the need to express them. "You are incredibly strong, and you've raised an equally strong little girl. I saw you in here with her and I can see your strength. You are a great mother. I couldn't have asked for anyone better to raise her; to make her who she is; the brave person she learned to be. You are amazing."

It was like one of those movie moments where the guy says something sweet and the girl just melts and they end up in one of those intense "sex eyes" stare downs. Hotch said something sweet; something she needed to hear. Emily was melting. The ice that she tried so hard to line her walls with was melting. And they were doing the eye thing, staring at each other like there was nothing else to look at; nothing else they wanted to look at. Then Emily leaned in, pressing a light kiss on his cheek, whispering the quietest of simple words in his ear. "Thank you." She said as she started pulling back. Her lips grazing his skin as she did, hovering dangerously close to his mouth as they parted. "Thank you." She repeated again.

"Emily I…"

"Mmm… Mommy?" The sweet little voice they yearned to hear broke whatever moment they were having, but nobody minded. They were getting precariously close to doing something they shouldn't have been doing. They were so close to doing something they wouldn't have considered, again, in the right state of mind. Hearing that voice made everything else seem obsolete as both their heads snapped in that direction and Emily jumped into action, standing and moving to her.

"Charlie, baby, mommy's here." The tears were back, not because she was sad, but because Emily was finally free. Her chest felt constricted, tied tight with barbed wire in her wait, but she knew, she finally was sure that her baby girl was awake and alright. She could breathe again. She could break away from the weights. "I'm here." Charlie was still a little groggy, blinking several times to clear the fog, but she was awake. "How are you feeling? Are you in pain? Talk to me Charlie Bear." Her words were rapid and worried, but also excited. She was awake. That meant things were better; she was almost good as new, just needed a little TLC and some healing time.

With slightly slurred words in her bleary speech, she answered her mother's pleas. "We were suppodes to bake coo-cookies mommy. Why didn't we bake cookies? And we didn't call grandma. We were suppodes to call grandma." They had her on the good drugs. Poor kid didn't really even know what she was saying as her eyes blinked away the post op fog and she looked a little too happy for a kid that just had surgery. And, luckily or not, she didn't notice Hotch was there.

"We can call grandma later. She'll understand why we didn't call yet. And we'll make your favorite cookies just as soon as you can eat them." Emily would've promised the moon and more if it made her baby girl happy. She was just so grateful to see those big brown eyes again that nothing else mattered. That kiss that almost was didn't matter…

Finally more aware, Charlie took in her surroundings. "Where are we mommy?"

"We're at the hospital. You were very sick Charlie, but you're all better now. Why didn't you tell me as soon as it started?"

"I'm tired." She was avoiding was what she was… Definitely something she got from both her parents who knew how to avoid very well. Good thing they were equally good at dealing with it when they had to.

"It's ok baby. You sleep. Mommy will be right here when you wake up."

"Oh-kay."

"Good dreams Charlie, dream good dreams." Emily whispered. "She's already out."

"That's probably a good thing. She needs her rest."

"She does." Emily agreed, exhaustedly falling into her previously vacated chair. "She does."

Hotch moved toward them both. He wouldn't disturb his sleeping daughter, but he felt the need to be close to both of them. He came so close to losing Emily once and hearing Charlie was in the hospital brought all those feelings back. So he wouldn't voice his concerns, but he had to pacify them however he could. "Emily…" She cut him off.

"Sometimes, she looks like you when she sleeps." She said quietly. Charlie may have been a little drugged up and already asleep, but she didn't want her to overhear anything.

"Yeah?" If she was trying to distract him, it was working.

"There were a few times when you fell asleep on the jet and I couldn't help but compare her to you. I can always tell when you're dreaming. It's the same with her."

"And how can you tell if I'm dreaming?"

"Unlike you, she can be very expressive."

"I don't think she got that from either of us. We both keep things locked away."

"We do, but not with her. I taught her that it was ok to let it show. It's ok to feel weak sometimes. But we're not… we're not talking about that. We're talking about you."

"Me and my dreaming?" He'd let her evade. They were sitting at their child's bedside; she could say whatever she wanted and he would've taken it; at least they were civil and, despite the bad drama, they were good.

"Yes. You may not be expressive when you're conscious, but like her, your face gives it all away when you're sleeping. Bad dreams, good dreams… It's so easy for me to read." If only he was easy to read when awake and talking to her. Usually she could figure him out, but when it came to personal things, when it came to Charlie, he was impossible to read. He was all over the place. "It's the same with her. When her face scrunches up or her eyes seem to be a little tightly shut, she's having a nightmare. And sometimes, she gets this cute little ghost of a smile that lets me know that she's having a really good dream."

"Do you think she's dreaming now?"

"90% of the time, she sleeps just like everybody else, but I'd like to think she's only having good dreams."

"Me too." They took a moment in the quiet to be thankful for what they had. They, obviously, weren't in the best of situations. Their lives were actually pretty messy, but they were grateful to be sitting there, watching the rise and fall of the most calming sounds of life. Their girl was in the midst of recovery. They still had a chance to make things right. And he had to start somewhere. "She's beautiful." He practically whispered it. It was meant to be nothing more than a thought in his head; an admiration for his strong, brave, incredible little girl, but he said it aloud.

"She is, isn't she?"

"Yeah…" He hesitated a moment. He had a lot on his mind; things he needed to get off his chest… There was a looming conversation that they needed to have, and, while they shouldn't have it with a sleeping Charlie that could wake up any minute in the room with them, there was just something he needed to say. "Emily…"

"What is it Hotch?"

"I wanted to say…" Ring… His phone was ringing. His mind was screaming, "Damn it!" He was never going to get to say what he needed to say. There was always a reason not to. And that time was no different. Charlie was there, and the call was one he shouldn't ignore.

Seeing his struggle, seeing him question whether or not to answer, she figured she'd help him out. "You should answer. I'm not going anywhere."

"I should get it." He sighed. "It's Haley."

"Go, just do it in the hall so she doesn't wake up."

"I'll be back." He assured her, hoping to see some sign that she cared. Instead, he noticed her eyes shined a little brighter and her smile a little truer. That was all the reassurance he needed. She was happy, happier, so he was too. Charlie was ok, so they were ok.

Emily sunk in the chair, finally taking the time to catch her breath. The past few hours felt like days to her. She was sure it was enough to age her another ten years. Letting the calm overtake, she was finally relaxing. Her shoulders weren't so tense. Her body wasn't a warning sign for a heart attack on the horizon anymore. She was ok too. They were all ok. And that was all she could ask for in the moment.

She was just dozing off when Hotch came back in the room. He tried to be quiet, and she was grateful for the attempt, but he just wasn't quiet enough. "I'm sorry if I woke you."

"I wasn't sleeping."

"Ok."

"Everything alright?" She asked as she saw him move his jacket around, shifting it in his hands.

"Everything's fine. That was Haley." He started and Emily nodded. "She heard about the case on the news and wanted to know if I was going to cancel with Jack again."

"You shouldn't. You're not going to right?"

"No, I'm not. I told her I wasn't working it so she asked if I could come get Jack earlier or she'd have to take him to Jessica's."

"You should go. Go spend time with your son."

Making sure Charlie was still sleeping, he asked, "And what about my daughter?" In a weird kind of moment, it actually warmed her heart to hear him ask such a simple question. "I should be here with you and her."

"We'll still be here later. Go spend some time with him. We'll be alright."

"You sure?"

Jokingly, she said, "There's nowhere for me to run here. I'll still be right here if you come back." She chose if instead of when. Things may have seemed to go well in the midst of the crisis, but that was over. Things were calm again. So she wasn't going to make him do anything. If he didn't come back, then, well, he didn't come back.

He noticed her choice of words and looked to his watch before responding. "It's still early. I'm going to head to the house, wait for him to take up, take Jack out for breakfast and then I'll bring him for a visit. I'm sure he'd like that."

"She would too."

"I will be back." He insisted. That needed to be made clear. "Call me… if anything happens or you need me, just call me."

"I will."

As Hotch left, both were thinking about the whirlwind of a night, or morning rather, that they had. They were replaying every moment, scrutinizing it and analyzing all they could. Were their actions more about the situation or was it the situation that brought out what was always there? They didn't know. And, truth be known, they weren't ready to truly understand that yet. Their feelings didn't really matter when they had other, more important things to worry about.

There would be time later to dwell on that; all of it. Once he left, Emily did her best to catch up on some sleep. For some reason, the idea seemed easier when she knew he was there. Without him, it was just a little bit harder. If she slept, who would be there if something went wrong? There was the hospital staff, but they didn't count. It took the doctor's word that Charlie was ok. That it was normal for her to be tired like that after surgery and letting her know what to expect, to really allow her to ease up. She almost panicked when she heard him say they wanted to draw blood for some tests, but he assured her it was procedure. "She's doing well; even better than we could've hoped. It's a good sign that she has already woken up and talked with you. Hopefully she's in for an easy recovery." That was great news.

Charlie was in and out the rest of the morning. The doctor said she couldn't get out of bed just yet and Charlie was tried to fight the effects of the drugs she was on, but they made her tired. She deserved some sleep. She was having a rough go of it and some sleep would be good for her; very much needed for both of them. Emily finally succumbed to the slumber too. Her body gave her no choice, and not sleeping wasn't helping anyone.

By ten that morning, Charlie was up in bed. The nurse helped prop her up a little so she wasn't lying down so much as half seated. Emily was curled up in a chair, legs pulled up to her body, head resting against the back. She looked both comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time. That was the position the Hotchner boys found them in when they showed up. Charlie noticed them right away and held a finger to her mouth and made the "shh" sound. Mommy was sleeping.

Hotch whispered something into Jack's ear before they entered the room. No matter where they were, the little boy was excited to see the little girl and the little girl the boy. So, it was hard for two kids to stay really quiet. "You have to be quiet. Mommy's sleeping."

Emily barely stirred, but slurred out a reply. "Mommy's awake now." She was a light sleeper.

"Well Aaron brought coffee." Hotch added, waving a to go cup in front of her closed eyes. The smell was intoxicating to the brunette. Oh how much she needed caffeine…

Shaking off the sleep, Emily stood from the seat and graciously accepted the coffee. "Thank you."

"We brought some pastries too. I didn't think she'd be able to eat, so I didn't want to throw food in her face."

"That was sweet of you." Emily took the bag of food. She was thankful to have him there again and she loved the smile that the visitors put on her daughter's face. After an exchange of hellos, they warned the children to behave and reminded Charlie to stay put before stepping out into the hall to update Hotch on what the doctors told her.

When they went back into the room, they caught the tail end of the kids' conversation. "So, daddy said you were sick. Are you better now?"

"Uh huh." She nodded. "Mommy said they took stuff out of my belly."

"They did? Cool. Are you going to have a scar now?" He seemed oddly enthusiastic.

"I don't know. Mommy am I going to have a scar?"

"Just a little one."

"Awesome. Can I see?"

"How about we save that for another day?" Hotch interrupted.

"But Dad, they took something out of her body. That's so cool." All Emily wanted to do was laugh; instead, she helped Hotch out with a response.

"It is cool Jack, but Charlie just had surgery and they covered it up. We don't want her getting sick again with an infection so we have to leave it covered. I'm sure she'll so you her scar once she's a little better."

"You promise? Because I want to see."

"I don't know. Charlie? Do you promise?"

"I promise."

"See Jack, she'll show you as soon as she's all better."

"Fine." He gave in and the kids just went back to talking. It wasn't as much fun as it normally was. There wasn't much for them to do, but they liked being around each other and that made the monotony better.

The parents hung back and had a talk of their own. Really, they were just enjoying the siblings interacting with each other. "Thank you, for bringing me coffee and food."

"I figured I wouldn't be able to get you out of the room for food, so I brought the food to you."

"Well, you figured right."

"I know."

"Thank you for coming back. You didn't have to."

"I really did. I had to… I wanted too…" And that latter was more important than the former.

As the day progressed, Charlie slowly came into her own, becoming more of herself. The nurse started her on clear liquids. If she kept them down, they'd move on to more advanced colors and eventually soft solids. It was baby steps, but with each milestone, Emily couldn't help but feel insanely proud.

That afternoon, they got quite a surprise. Hotch had to leave for a little while. Emily encouraged it. She wanted him there and he wanted to be there, but trapped in one room with all the feelings and thoughts was starting to get a little claustrophobic and they didn't want to expose the kids to that. So he left to spend some father son time with Jack. They just had more to talk about later.

But it was good that he left. The next visitor wasn't one she saw Hotch being nice too. She, however, was very happy to see him. She was just going back into the room after leaving to get Charlie some apple juice and her daughter looked so excited. "Mom look!" She pointed to the chair in the corner. "Clyde came just for me!"

"And mother too darling."

"Clyde." The corners of her mouth upturned.

"Emily." He said back as he gave her a loving hug. "How are you doing now?"

"I'm better now that you're here. You flew all the way from London to make sure she was ok? I would've called you myself later."

"I needed to see for myself that my girls were ok." He brushed her off. "Did he show up?" He whispered into her ear, yet to break their hug.

"Who?"

"That Hotchner character." She was a little dumbfounded. Had he not checked his messages, And if not, why would that be his question? When else had he talked to him?

"Aaron and Jack came to visit me Clyde!" Charlie answered for her. "Jack made me a get better card."

"Can I see?" Emily loved how much her daughter loved Clyde. She loved that he took on the role of surrogate father even though she never asked him to. She loved how good he was with her and how caring he always was. She loved that he wanted to be there for them and he was whenever he could. She loved him; he was her friend, her family, but she also felt bad. Had she unknowingly forced him into that role; one he never wanted, and forced Hotch out. That wasn't right. "You're thinking too much." He said to her once Charlie had fallen asleep again.

"I'm not."

"You are. What are you thinking about?"

"You."

"Me? What about me?"

"Why are you here Clyde?"

"Do you not want me here?" He was a little hurt.

"No, I do. I want you here, but why do you want to be here?"

"I watched that girl grow up Emily. I was there when she asked me to come to her first football match and I've been to as many of her things as I could since. I love her, and I love you. Why wouldn't I want to be here?"

"If he was in the picture, would you still be here?" She was dealing with a lot of insecurity still.

"Emily, darling, you didn't make me do this. You didn't come to me and ask me to be here; not in the beginning and not now. That was my choice. Whether he was there or not, I would be. Always love. I fell in love with that child. She may not be mine and she never will be, but, even when you work things out with him," she went to protest only for him to stop her, "and you will, I'll still come watch her dance brilliantly or score the winning goal. Because you're stuck with me. The moment we met we became a team. You will always be a part of my team."

"I don't know what I would've done without you."

"Then it's a bloody good thing you don't have to."

"Thanks for coming Clyde."

Honestly, she wished Clyde was there more often. It was selfish. She wanted him around so he could be there for her and she could be there for him. It may have seemed a little one sided, that it was always him tending to her, but she did her fair share too. That's how they worked; a symbiotic friendship that they knew was a lasting thing. They could've been more and maybe it would've worked out, but they loved what they had. What they had was great. She just needed to know that he felt the same way because she needed him in her life. He was the only one who knew everything; who she could talk to about certain things, who saw her after Doyle… He was that person for her; the one she went to when she couldn't go to JJ or the team. They were that person for each other. And, most importantly, he had always been that person for Charlie too. So she just needed to make sure it was still a lasting thing. Him showing up there proved that it was. They may not have been in love with each other, but they did love one another.

Even later that day, Charlie was up and walking a little at a time. Dr. Manju just wanted to get her out of bed. It was part of the after surgery care. Overall, Charlie was doing pretty well. She was in a little pain, but they moved her from the heavy IV drugs to acetaminophen and a low dose oxycodone she could take by mouth. She still had an IV, which Charlie didn't like, for the antibiotics she needed for 24 hours, but she was doing so well and Emily was so proud.

Clyde never left their sides, even offered to stay so Emily could go home and get cleaned up. She was still in dirty clothes that had bits of vomit caked on. It wasn't pretty, but it was part of being a mom and she learned to accept that. Beauty was secondary. He managed to get her out of the hospital for an hour at most; just enough time to shower, change, and grab a few things for Charlie. By the time she got back, Hotch was there with Jack again. He and Clyde were in separate corners like fighters' in a boxing match. It was probably best they kept it that way. Neither looked to happy with the other.

"Hi mommy!" Charlie greeted.

"Hey Charlie Bear. Look what I brought." Emily pulled Jazz from her small duffel bag. "She was lonely without you."

"I missed her too." Charlie greedily hugged the monkey. She couldn't fathom how she got so much sleep without her.

The next hour or so was peaceful. Emily was seated next to Clyde, cuddled up in his side talking quietly about this and that. Hotch was across the room watching her watch their children. Jack and Charlie were playing their version of a card game. Unknowingly being the best big brother he could be, Jack was doing everything he could to accommodate his friend's lack of mobility. He was a great kid, and when, or if, the time came, he'd make an excellent brother. One day… maybe. She wondered if knowing that would change things. Hotch did too. He wondered so many things where the kids were concerned; where Emily was concerned.

Turning her attention away from Clyde and away from the children, Emily felt his eyes on her. She couldn't be positive what he was thinking. Was it an, "I'm not letting you get away without talking to me again" look or just one of those penetrating stares? She didn't know. But, for only a moment, they were both just looking at each other, trying to read the others' thoughts to no avail. But their attempts at mind reading were cut short by the familiar sounds of a certain blonde.

At first it was just the ascending steps of a heavy heel. Then it was the boisterous voice. "I don't care whether it's allowed. I'm going in there." Emily couldn't make out the other voice, though she did hear Morgan try to pacify her, and none of the other room's occupants except Hotch gave the interruption a second thought. But they knew, they knew that voice.

"Garcia, please. They're going to kick us out before we even get in there. Just be a little nicer to the staff." They were all right outside the door then. Emily sat a little straighter anticipating their, undoubtedly, grand entrance.

"Mini E! You're awake!" Garcia all but screamed as she entered the room with a giant stuffed teddy bear and a million colorful balloons trailing behind. Everyone found the sight amusing. "And gorgeous as ever!"

"Penelope!" She giggled. Charlie loved this new family. She loved all her honorary aunts and uncles.

"Hello Juju. Hey Jack." Garcia calmed down a little, but the room was definitely livelier than it was before, and more crowded too. Following Garcia in was Morgan and Rossi and Reid and JJ with Henry squeezed in there too. It was party time in room 3420.

"What are you guys doing here? You are supposed to be working on the case?" Hotch was curious too, Emily just beat him to the punch that time.

"A local caught the guy when he was speeding trying to flee town. Kid was safe. We found him when we raided this rundown apartment building. The guy spooked and left him there. We got him to the hospital and they think he's going to be just fine." JJ offered the answer.

"That's great news."

"It is, because that means we get time with precious Juju and all the BAU baby boys too. Lucky us."

"How you doing mama?" Morgan asked Emily as Hotch got up to talk to Rossi, Reid attempted normal conversation with three little humans, and JJ tried her hand at talking with Clyde.

"I'm doing ok. It has just been a long day."

"I hear you. We wanted to get here sooner…"

"But you had a job to do. I know, and I also know that if I really needed any one of you, each and every one of you would've come. It's ok."

"Damn right we would've been here." He said.

"If it weren't for Boss man putting us all to work, we would've marched right on over and waited with you." Garcia informed her, throwing a look a mix between nasty and playful Hotch's way. "But that is beside the point. Charlie, how are you feeling? Are you better? Emily is she better? What'd the doctor's say? Oh, I brought you presents, lots of presents."

"Penelope, I got a cool scar on my belly, like mommy's." That was a little unexpected. Emily did her best to conceal her wounds from Charlie, so it was a little disconcerting to know she failed. Had she seen the other thing too? The comment was enough to send the room quiet. "Now we match." JJ saw the look in Emily's eyes.

"Awesome kid." Morgan high fived her.

"Penelope?"

"Yeah Hun?"

"Can I have my presents now?"

"Oh, yes! Yes, yes, yes! I got you these cool pajamas for when you get sprung." She pulled out a silk set of dark purple with white skulls littering the pattern pajamas.

"Look mom! Can I wear them now?"

"Not yet sweetie."

"But I don't like these dinosaurs. When I stand you can see my butt."

"But it's a cute butt."

"Mom."

"Soon Charlie, I promise."

"Fine." Garcia dulled out a few more things, mostly little things that would help her pass the time while stuck in bed or on the couch as she healed.

"Guess what."

"What?"

"I finished our surprise." Everyone listened just a little more intently. What surprise?

"You did! Can I see it? Did you use the things I picked? Is it perfect?"

"Why don't we give it to them and see if mommy's cool enough to let us watch it in here?"

It didn't take much convincing. Everyone wanted to see what they had up their sleeves. So Garcia had everyone crowd around the bed, popped open her personal laptop, and got everything ready. "Without further ado, I present to you a Munchkin Production entitled, 'Untitled; the reasons why you do what you do and the people you do it for'. You know you like that title. I worked hard coming up with that. Brought to you in part by the likes of one Charlotte 'Juju' Prentiss and her bestest buddies. A big shout out to Jackster and my little Henry monster for their big helping hands."

Hitting play on the computer. They watched, what essentially turned out to be, a slideshow. There were pictures of each and every team member. Pictures of the whole team out for a night of fun and mischief, pictures of the children smiling and laughing, family pictures, individual pictures… It was a compilation of why they did their job; the things that made them happy, the people they saved, the ones they protected. It was all there represented in some way, shape, or form. Each of the kids faces popped up at some point with a message of loved.

"Mommy!" Charlie's voice started them out on the video. They were watching Emily's version. Each had their own customized version of the video with the kids leaving cute messages about how they missed that person and wanted them to be safe as they caught the bad guys. Not wanting to play that for everyone and explaining such to them, Garcia skipped through that, stopping and playing it again just before Charlie stopped speaking. "So come back home soon mommy because I love you and I miss you!" Everyone was together again, watching this video. It felt right. It felt whole. All of them, Clyde included, were a family. They were dysfunctional, but they were a family.

"That was beautiful guys. You all did a great job."

"It's like your necklace mommy. I can go with you everywhere." Her heart warmed; all of theirs did.

"Don't you love those kids?" Garcia asked.

"Is that why you hijacked our kids whenever you could?" JJ asked.

"Among other reasons." Garcia quipped before pulling out a small box from her bag of endless wonders. Inside the box were seven different colored thumb drives, one for each member of the team that she passed out. "Each one is just for you. We figured you could take it on those long cases and watch it when it's particularly gruesome or you just needed a happy fix. I could also program it right into your phones if you want. Here, each of you gets your own color. Mine's at home."

"Then whose is that last one?"

"That's Clyde's." She held it out to the British man. "Charlie asked me to make a special one just for you."

After watching the video, most of them, the ones that weren't hardened with age or dead to the world, so all of them, were a little emotional. But most of all, Emily was a wreck. Her mommy hormones were in overdrive after everything that happened and seeing that, the beauty of the innocence and the perfection that was a child's life… Seeing the way they saw the world… It made her emotional, even more so than before. She felt like crying, but she was really trying to control it. Sensing she couldn't and not wanting anyone to see, she excused herself. Both Clyde and Hotch, even Morgan, made a move to follow her, but JJ stepped in. "I got it." She stated and went after Emily. She found the brunette sitting on the floor against the wall. "You alright?"

"I'm ok." JJ waited for more. She knew there was more, so she waited and joined her on the floor. "So much has happened… It's just… so much… And we… We have some really great kids."

"Hell yeah we do." That put a smile back on Emily's face. "They're awesome. We did good."

"We did."

"You know, when you were in the hospital she faked appendicitis so we'd take her to see you."

"She didn't?" Emily's voice sounded both appalled and enthused.

"She did. It was cute really. They couldn't reach me so Will went to the school and the nurse said she was fine, but Charlie said she wasn't. She said she needed to go to the hospital for her appendix. I think Will said she was holding the wrong side."

"Is it strange that I'm proud that she even knew she had an appendix to use as an excuse?"

"She's a smart girl; you should be proud. She got Will to do what she really wanted and bring her to you." And then Emily coded and probably traumatized her, but that wasn't worth mentioning then.

"She knows how to do that well."

"I bet she does. What little girl doesn't?"

"I don't think it's just little girls. Henry has you wrapped around his finger. Those baby blues of his will melt anyone into submission. And I bet Jack gives Hotch and Haley a run for their money."

"So then it's all kids and we're all screwed."

"I guess so."

"It's ok to be emotional Emily." JJ offered her a hand to hold which Emily accepted.

"I know that. I just… I don't want her to see me cry. The last… God it has it even been 24 hours. They were all terrible. It's incredibly hard to watch her in pain. She doesn't need to see me breaking down. I think I'm all out of whack. Yu definitely weren't this bad when we were on a case and Henry had that seizure."

"Yes I was. Believe me, I was. But you were there you calm me down when there was no planes available with the weather. I wish you tried my cell phone. I would've gotten off the case the second you called. I would've been here with you like you were for me."

"I know Jayje. That's why I didn't. You needed to be there. I needed to handle this."

"I didn't want you to be alone."

"I wasn't."

"No, you had Hotch. What's up with that? Did he… Did he help?" She seemed skeptical.

"You have no idea." And she didn't. Him being there meant more than she could possibly imagine. He may have been an ass. They both made their fair share of mistakes, but he showed up when it counted. That meant something. "Let's get back to the room."

Together they went into the room where everyone was doting on the ailing Charlie and Jack and Henry were reading a book with her. The adults eventually migrated away to have their own conversation separate from the big eared children. Rossi was the first to go claiming he was an old man who had been up for hours working nonstop and, though he loved everyone there, since everyone was ok, his old bones couldn't handle it. Next was Reid, who Emily told to go; not in rude way of course, but he was falling asleep in his chair and she simply suggested he go home and sleep in his own bed. They didn't all need to wake up with a stiff neck and sore back in the morning. She was ok there. Morgan wasn't leaving without Garcia and Garcia didn't want to leave until visiting hours were over, so they were staying until then. Clyde was sticking with Emily too, and Hotch made no motion to leave. That left JJ. Charlie was falling asleep to the story and Henry seemed to be lulled too, so that was JJ's cue.

"Looks like it's time for me to head home. If you need me, for anything, just call. Don't worry about the time. If you need me, I'm here."

"I know, thank you." Emily said kindly hugging her. "And bye Henry. Thank you for coming to visit."

"When will Charlie be home?"

"Soon."

"Does that mean we can play again? I want to go on her playground."

"I don't think she'll be using that for a little while, but the second she can, we promise to have you over. Ok?"

"Ok. Bye Emily."

"Bye Henry."

Charlie was asleep, Jack was, semi surprisingly, being all buddy-buddy with Clyde, and visiting hours were coming to an end, yet Hotch was still there. Stepping away from Charlie's bed, Emily took the empty seat near him. Garcia and Morgan had left moments earlier when they realized just how tired they were and realized that Charlie was likely to be asleep for the rest of the night and they wouldn't be missing much, so it was really just them. "Take Jack home. You rarely get to see him and this is your time."

"Emily I…"

"You don't have to stay." He was about to respond when she stopped him. "I understand why you want to. I get it." Quietly, so only he could hear she said, "She's your daughter and you feel you have to be here." That was true. He did. He wanted to be there just as much as he felt he needed to. "But your son needs you right now. He wants his dad, not to be stuck in a hospital room all day and night because his friend is sick."

"But she's not just…"

"I know Hotch." He didn't need to tell her. "But they don't and he wants his daddy. She's going to be ok. The doctor is going to start her on solids in the morning and he thinks she might be released sometime in the afternoon." She put a hand on his knee as she scooted to the edge of her seat. "Besides, visiting hours are over soon and I'm the only one allowed to stay."

"Is Clyde staying?"

"No, just me. He's going back to my place and I'm going to be staying here with her."

"So she won't be alone?"

"Did you really think I'd do that?"

"No." He admitted. "And you'll call me?"

"Yes, I'll call. But spend the day with Jack. I'll let you know what the doctor says and when we get home, you are more than welcome to visit. When she's sleeping she won't know if you're here or not. So go. Enjoy your weekend with Jack, or what's left of it. We're not going anywhere." He actually believed her that time. They weren't going anywhere. There was no more running away from him and avoiding their talk. It was going to happen. Things would settle down and they'd have that talk the way they should've had it in the first place; no freak outs or running, just talking. She was going to give him a chance and he was going to let go of the resentment he had been trying to free himself of. It needed to be done.

"Ok. Bye Emily."

"Bye Hotch. Again, thank you for being here."

"Of course." He stood from his seat and gave her one last smile. "Come on Jack. Time to go."

The little boy threw on his jacket and grabbed the things he brought with him before saying bye to Clyde and Emily. He was a sweet boy; his parents did well. Knowing that still made Emily question whether keeping Hotch from Charlie all those years was something she really should have done. But there was no changing it, and she wasn't sure she would. Charlie was Charlie. There wasn't a thing about that she would change. "You should go too Clyde. I love you for flying all this way and leaving your life and job behind for us, but you have to be jet lagged."

"Emily, I can stay."

"No, go sleep in a big comfy bed. Besides, I don't think they'd let you stay. You still have your key, don't you?"

"Yes."

"Good. Use it; just ignore the mess when you get there. I didn't exactly have time to clean up."

"Alright darling. I'll be here bright and early. Make sure she knows I didn't disappear on her."

"She knows Clyde. She loves you."

"What about Mr. Hotchner. How does she feel about him?"

"We're not doing this again. Last time you pushed this I…" She trailed off.

"You ended up going for high tea?" He joked.

"Yeah, that's exactly what happened."

Putting a hand up to her face and brushing her cheek with his thumb before sweeping the stray hair out of her eyes, he said, "Get some rest too. Everything's better now."

She let herself fall into his arms in a big sweeping hug. "Thanks again Clyde."

"Always Emily."

Emily slept that night as peacefully as she could. Charlie didn't wake once until the nurse came in to remove the IV. The antibiotics were done and, assuming all went well, she was going home that day. She woke before her daughter, uncomfortable and stiff. She nearly had a heart attack mid stretch when Clyde was standing there, impeccably dressed and well rested with a coffee in his hand. "Thought you'd need it, though I do prefer a good tea."

"You know I love tea Clyde, but you try sleeping on that and not needing a caffeine boost." Taking a sip she thanked him.

"So, what's the news?"

"We're trying applesauce this morning. If she keeps it down and nothing goes wrong, she gets to come home today."

"That's excellent."

"I know. I'm happy. Once she wakes up we'll see how it goes."

"She'll do brilliant. She's a Prentiss after all."

"I don't always know if that's a good thing."

"It is."

"So you say." She took another much needed sip of coffee. "Sit with her while I change?"

"Go, I'm not moving from this very spot."

It was true, he didn't. When she came out of the bathroom, cleaner and in not wrinkled clothes, he was still there. Charlie was just waking up as Emily stepped out to fill in Hotch. There wasn't much to say, but she promised and he deserved that much. He wanted to come, but Emily insisted he didn't. It was Jack's time. Jack needed that time and, hopefully, they'd be at home soon and he would be able to see her whenever; assuming he wanted that. She was still unclear exactly what he wanted. But she covered her bases and would keep him apprized of what he wanted to know.

Charlie did well with the applesauce. Not once did she spike a fever. The incision site looked healthy and to be healing properly. Because of that, Charlie was free to leave that afternoon. There were strict instructions and follow up appointments, no exercise or school for a few days and things wouldn't be normal just yet, but she was going home. Emily called everyone to let them know and each and every one of them was excited for them.

Dressed in her new favorite pajamas with Jazz in her hand, Emily wheeled her daughter out of the hospital, Clyde not far behind carrying the things they accumulated during the stay. They were all excited to be getting out of there. And sure, Charlie was going to have to take it easy and she'd be sleeping a lot, but that was normal, and, even for a kid her age, she knew doing that on her own couch or in her own bed was better than in a hospital any day.

Home was much better. They were greeted by a few more get well presents, a couch set up with blankets and pillows for Charlie to relax on. Because really, what kid wanted to spend all day in bed? Emily's room had been cleaned and she definitely didn't remember doing that. "Did you do all this Clyde?"

"Unfortunately, no. Miss Garcia and your other blonde friend…"

"JJ?"

"Yes, they asked for me to let them in and I saw no reason not to."

"Well, remind me to thank them."

"Will do."

"Come on; let's get Charlie some ice cream. That will make her feel better about being stuck on the couch."

The rest of the weekend was spent with random visits from the team. Emily thanked all of them once again. Hotch even stopped by for a little while too, but things were a little awkward and he barely said more than a few words to Emily that weren't about Charlie and even those were few and far between. Emily could tell there was something on his mind; something she could guess, but he wasn't saying anything. It was like a hit and run. He came, he did, he left. Had she made things awkward? Had she leaned on him just little too much? Or maybe it was Clyde's presence that made him uncomfortable. She didn't know, but there was something there.

With Charlie home from school, Monday was a little different. Sarah had been informed of Charlie's condition and offered to cut her family visit short to help out even though she wasn't due back until Emily returned to work, and, while Emily appreciated it, she kindly declined. That woman did a lot for them without Emily asking her to cut family time short. Besides, Clyde was there for a few more days if she needed any help and JJ and Garcia made it clear that they were a phone call away in case of emergency. They were surrounded by people who could help.

That morning, Charlie finally got her phone call with grandma. Emily called Elizabeth once they returned home, but Charlie was sleeping at that point and they didn't want to wake her, however, they got their call in the end. So that was good. Also good was how well Charlie was doing with the eating. It frustrated the five year old not to be able to eat anything she wanted, but the amount of ice cream she got to consume made up for that. But Monday, as present as she made herself, Emily's mind was somewhere else and Clyde easily picked up on that.

"Somewhere you need to be?" How many times had he caught her staring at the clock?

"Uh, no?"

"You sure? Nowhere?"

"No."

"Emily." He scolded.

"I was supposed to be somewhere."

"So, be there."

"Even if I wanted to, I can't. I won't leave her."

"She won't be alone Emily. I'm here with her, and mainly, she's sleeping."

"The doctor said that would happen."

"So go do what you need."

"Are you sure?" Was she sure?

"Yes."

"Oh, um, ok… If she wakes up and is in pain, give her the Tylenol that's on the table. If she's hungry, heat up the soup I made. No more ice cream. If she's having bad pains or if she feels warm, call me."

"I can handle this Emily."

"I know you can."

"Then go."

"I'm not sure I should."

"You should."

"I don't know how long I'll be. I'll try to be quick."

"Take your time Em."

"You're too good to me Clyde."

"Go, go talk to him." She nodded as she took her keys from the bowl.

"Wait, what?" She didn't say anything about talking to anyone. "How did you know?"

"You are both very weird when avoiding. You should work on that."

Should she have been insulted? "Thanks Clyde. Call me if you need me."

She was off. She got into her car and drove. Maybe she was prepared, maybe she wasn't, but they had both put it off too long and it was time. So she took a drive she knew well, to a building she knew well, full of people she knew well. Upon arrival, though, she was hesitant. There was still that aching feeling in her chest like déjà vu. Would it happen again? Would things be worse after? She didn't want that. She may not have known what exactly she wanted or what she was hoping for, but she didn't want that. The stalemate they had been living in with the unspoken support they were giving each other was better than things getting worse. She had no more time to second guess it though, because she was there, and she wasn't turning back.

Walking through the BAU, the floor seemed pretty empty. It made sense, it was around lunch and when they weren't too busy, they usually went out, but it seemed dead. She was actually grateful it was. As long as it wasn't a case that pulled them away, there would be more privacy with them gone. She stood in front of his door trying to collect her bearings. Inhale deep, exhale… She went to knock as she heard the voices of her friends enter the room. Quickly, she gently rapped on the door.

"Do you have a case?" Emily asked abruptly, not bothering to wait for a response after knocking to go it.

"Emily what are you…?"

"Do you have a case?"

"No, we had our briefing this morning, but that was it. Just paperwork today unless we get called." He watched her close the blinds in his office curiously. "What are you doing?"

"I don't want them to know I'm here."

"Ok?" Was he supposed to be offended or relieved? It was probably best they didn't know. Too many questions… Though, he wasn't sure why she was there either.

"Would it be unethical for you to tell them to take the day off or send them on out of the office assignments?"

"Unethical? I don't know. Maybe just not very boss like. Why would I do that?"

"So we can talk."

"Here? Now?"

"Why not here? Why not now? I can't not say what I need to say and I know you can't wait much longer either."

"I could send two of them to the custodial I was supposed to do later and suggest the others take some case files home."

"Then do it."

"I just assumed that with Charlie… You wouldn't be coming today."

"I said I would. It's Monday and I said we would talk at lunch Monday."

"You did." He just wasn't sure he believed her. "I guess I'll make that call." As he reached for the phone, another knock resonated.

"Hotch? Are you in there?" JJ…

"One second JJ." He was quick to his feet as he looked over to a panicked Emily. They both felt it. They needed this to remain private. They wouldn't be able to figure things out with a bunch of spectators watching their every move, witnessing every disaster. It was a mutual understanding they didn't need to communicate.

"Is everything ok in there? You don't usually have the blinds closed."

"I'll be right there JJ."

"Tell her something." Emily whispered. Hotch walked to the door, opening it just enough for him to slip out, but not enough for Emily to be seen

"Is there something you need Agent Jareau?" That wasn't suspicious.

"Hotch?"

"JJ."

Ignoring the awkward uneasiness that was growing, JJ spoke, "I was just bringing you some of the files you asked for."

"Oh, ok, great. Thank you." He accepted the folders she handed him. "Is there anything else?"

"No?" She wanted an explanation.

"Good. Do me a favor. Tell Rossi to take Morgan or Reid and cover my custodial this afternoon at Red Onion State Prison and the rest of you take whatever files you're working on home. I…" What was he doing? "I'm going to be in a closed door meeting for the rest of the day."

"Are you sure you're ok Hotch?"

"Fine. Will you let the others know?" She nodded. "Thank you." He slipped back into the room and closed the door behind him. He seemed relieved. Emily, not so much…

Her hands pulling open the blinds just a sliver allowed her to see all. Hotch joined her as they watched JJ gather the team and fill them in. "Great job Hotch. They're all staring." They all stood together, Garcia included, watching Hotch's office. "They probably think some terrorist broke in and is holding you hostage to get one of their brothers out of prison."

"You're being paranoid."

"You're being suspicious." She backed away from the glass. Audience or not, they needed to talk.

He looked at her awkwardly move about her chair, a hand on her lower back. "Are you alright? You look like you're in pain." She was a little. Her body was still worn from New York and her own brand of Morgan and Prentiss physical therapy, and spending the night with Charlie on the bathroom floor only a few days prior made all the aches return, and then sleeping in an awkward angle in a hospital chair didn't help matters.

"I'm still bruised."

"From what?" She looked at him like he was stupid. How could he not know?

"From… Come on Hotch, really? From New York."

"Oh…" He said as he took a second to think about what that meant. "Oh." Yeah, took him a minute. "Still? Was it that bad?" He felt guilty. He did that to her. It was another way he hurt her.

"It was pretty bad, but it's really only the one on my back now." Being pushed into a table edge with full force would do that. "It was a lot worse when we first came back. When I went for my exam, the doctor saw some of the bruising including a faint hand print on my arm and thought I was being abused. Explaining that wasn't fun. It was embarrassing."

"I'm sorry." He said with a hint of laughter. He would've liked to see her explain that.

"It's fine. I'm fine and I'm sure I did a number on you too."

"Difference is I wasn't recovering from a near fatal run in with a criminal." Everything always did go back to Doyle.

"Let's not talk about him. That's not why we're here."

"No, it's not." He lifts his coffee cup from his desk, just trying to occupy his hands. "Where do we start then? With what happened in New York?"

It was as good a place as any. But, a thought came to her mind, and not for the first time. This was something she had been thinking of. It was one thought she should've had before jumping into bed with her superior. "Are you still married to Haley?"

"Emily, you know we filed for divorce."

"But was it finalized?"

"Skipping through the legal talk, since we were separated and neither was contesting, we had it expedited so that we could make a clean break. The court doesn't make amicable divorces any harder. It was finalized March 1st." She sighed in relief. At least there was that… "But the marriage was over long before that. We both knew. We just hadn't let go."

"And now you have?"

"We're both letting go. I'll always love her. She'll always love me. And we won't regret our time together and we won't love Jack any less, but she can't accept my job and that means she can't accept me. But that's not why you're asking…" He looked into her eyes. "We weren't cheating. Not this time and not the last…"

It was good for them to get that out of the way. Talking about things with Haley, his divorce and Jack… Those were safe topics. They were ice breakers. And it worked well for a whole hour. But then there was nothing. It was time to get into the hard stuff. And Hotch needed to be the one to start.

"You know, when I found out she was in the hospital, I felt like the world was ending…" He started. "I was going crazy. I… I don't really know her and all I kept thinking was that I might not get the chance."

That guilt washed over her again. "I… I felt that way too. My heart was racing the whole time. I couldn't focus. I couldn't think. I was in a blind panic."

"I… just wanted to be there."

"And you… you were there. You were there for us."

"I tried to be. I don't know how well I did."

"It was enough." The thought lingered. There was so much crap to sort through that even with it all out in front of them, they didn't know which pile to start with.

"I think before we get deeper into figuring out Charlie, we need to talk about us."

"What about us?"

"About New York Emily, about what we did."

"There is no us Hotch. We are colleagues and we are parents." She was determined to ignore that side of things. What happened, happened. They weren't looking for a repeat or planning a relationship, so why dwell? "It didn't mean anything."

"Oh…" He didn't know what he was feeling. There were no right words to describe it; none that he knew anyway. "No… it didn't mean anything. We just got caught up in a moment and I took advantage."

It was like back and forth guilt and resentment and feeling. For two people so good at hiding what they were really feeling, it was a recipe for disaster. "Hotch… Aaron… You didn't. There was no taking advantage. We were two consenting adults who acted on pent up emotion and made a mistake." She was talking, making up what she assumed he'd want to hear. She didn't want to make more of it than it was. Problem was she didn't know what it was or how she felt. So she assumed that he wanted to talk it through so they could forget about it. That worked for her. She'd just erase it from her mind… or engrain it for a rainy, lonely day.

"Mistake… right."

"We both did that." They both needed it.

"We did. But it didn't mean anything. It was just something that happened." He reiterated. It was her time to feel those indescribable feelings. What was wrong with them? "And now it's over."

"We can move on and pretend it never happened." Even in their own ears, the words rang false. There was more to it than what they were making it, but they were too stubborn to see and too emotionally unstable to understand.

"Yes, it never happened."

"And we move on."

"We move on. We won't let it affect our work."

"And we won't let it affect whatever we decide with Charlie." They were being very adult about it all; maybe too adult.

"We forget about it." Or try, as that may be the case.

"Forget about what?" Emily joked, but it was uneasy. They were waiting for the other to say something. They wanted the other to say something real. Hotch tried. Emily tried. They both failed. They weren't any good at this whatever… Instead of really dealing, they were telling lies they didn't know were lies and putting a Band-Aid on a bullet wound. It was a temporary fix, but it worked. "I don't know where we go from here."

"I don't either."

"Most of the time I don't know how to feel."

"And I do?" He looked just as lost as she did; both of them slouched in their respective chairs as comfortably as they could be given where they were and what they were doing.

"I don't think everyone ever knows what they're doing. We just figure it out as we go."

"I can see that."

"Do you have something you want to say? We need to do this. You might as well say what you need to say. And Dr. Lozano is all about talking and since you pushed me to be honest with her, you might as well give it a try with me."

"I'm not ok with the fact that I missed out on so much." Yeah, he'd do the feelings thing. She was right. He made her do it. It was only fair he did too.

"Ok." She saw that one coming.

"She shouldn't have been kept from me."

"I know." She did.

"But you did such a good job with her that I don't know how angry I can be."

"You can be angry. That's ok. But you have to at least try to work through it. Instead, you yell and say things you shouldn't." That wasn't normally him, but in their situation, that was true. In their situation, a lot was true that wasn't normal for them. Usually, Emily wasn't one to run from a fight. She usually brought the fight when challenged instead. And he was usually more in control of his actions and feelings. Them, together, in the mess they were living changed that. "The way you just…"

"I know Emily, I know." He didn't want to hear her saying it again. Replaying that conversation and what he said over and over in his mind was punishment enough. It was about all he could take. He just had to try and salvage what he could. "I just wish… I wish I saw more of myself in her. I try. I tried and all I saw was you. I saw your smile. Your eyes… You."

She didn't know whether to laugh or cry. "You're an idiot." They already made it clear that anything said in there stayed there. It wouldn't affect them at work and it was strictly a personal matter. So, they figured why not say whatever needed saying?

"What?"

"You have this stupid glare that you do, like the one you're giving me now. She has it too. And when I see it on her face I want to kiss her and make her feel better. I used to think of her every time I saw you do it. But now when I see it on your face I have to repress my urge to punch you."

"Good to know." He instinctively backed away a little. She wanted to punch him… great.

"You see what you want to see. If you don't see you in her, you're not trying hard enough. You're not trying at all."

"I am trying."

"I can't change this, this ball of angst that's building inside of me. The things I'm feeling, the things we're feeling; they're not going to change overnight."

"I know that." He really wasn't getting much of a word in edgewise, but, oddly, he was ok with that. Hearing what she was saying, really hearing it, made him start to understand things a little better.

"Sleeping with me… me sleeping with you… It's not a magic cure to the messes we've made."

"I understand that too."

"And I'm hurt. I'm hurt that you didn't even give us a chance. You turned her away without giving her a chance. You just decided that you didn't love her like Jack; that you couldn't. You didn't even try."

"I was hurt too Emily. I missed five years." He enunciated. He needed to make his reasons clear as their words became a little more heated; still controlled, but heated.

"You did. I know you did. But does saying that, does hurting me back and hurting her make it better?" No, it made him feel worse. Truth was he didn't know what he was saying until he said it and by then it was too late. And once he got started, once he let the train of thought that was meant only for his inner conscience escape, there was no stopping it. "Did it make you feel better?"

"No Emily. It didn't. I don't think I've ever been that angry with another human being. We work to fight against the evil and bad of our world, but facing a serial killer felt a lot easier than looking at you. We can write them off as not human, antisocial… whatever… But you… I couldn't understand you. I couldn't understand why. I still don't. I just knew that looking at you made me angry. And she just looked so much like you." His words were dripping with disdain. It felt good to get it out, but it hurt them both. They were hurting each other. "I couldn't separate you two, just like I couldn't separate you from any of the faces we see at work. I thought I knew you. I know that you can be kind and caring and sweet, and even though you're strong and independent, you're the shoulder people want to lean on and trust. Everything good I saw was shattered." She felt shattered then.

"But the way you did it was wrong. What you did was wrong."

"I know. I didn't… I didn't mean it."

"I think… I think you did. At the time, you did."

"No. No I didn't." He insisted. He didn't!

"When you said it, I think you did. You said it yourself. You saw me when you looked at her. You were upset with me. Because of that, because how much she looks like me, you couldn't separate us. You didn't know if you could love her the way you love Jack because of me. I understand the feelings. I get it, but saying it. Putting that out there… Ultimately hurting her, because of me. That's not ok. None of this is ok."

"I know that. I regret that."

"But you can't change it. You can't take it back and undo the damage just like I can't take back my choices all those years ago."

"I would if…"

"But you can't." She was quick to interrupt. She remembered that night better than she wished she did. She wished she could pretend it never happened. "I held her that night as she slept. She didn't know what happened, and I wouldn't tell her that even if she asked, but I had to have her close. I had to reassure her, and myself, that she wouldn't be alone. That she'd have me and Clyde and all our friends. Because they loved her. She was the most loved kid in the world with or without you in her life."

"Emily I'm sorry."

"I know you are."

"And I know nothing I can do will make up for what was said and how things happened with us. It was a terrible situation that I only made worse. But she deserves a chance to know her father loves her, that he didn't abandon her. That I am here. That I want to be here."

"I don't know how to do that."

"No one does. I don't. You just need to give me a chance."

"I don't know how to do that either." Her eyes were full of desperation; as were his. They were in pain, rehashing the wounds. They were trying to be their strong, stoic selves, but it was a lot, even for their vaulted minds. "I'm hurt and I'm angry and I want this feeling to go away. I want things to be fixed, and I don't honestly know if they ever will be." She let out a heavy breath. "But…"

"But what?" He was anxious. They said a lot both good and bad, but he was determined to find a light to break through the darkness. He wanted to find the weakness in the wall and storm it to gain entry.

"But, growing up I was either disappointed by my parents or out of control. They weren't there for me. When I needed them most they were always conveniently out of town. It was just one let down, one broken promise… One after another… And then we'd move and we'd be together for a few days while we settled in like everything was perfect and then the promises would break again and the let downs hurt even more. And I don't want that for our daughter. She deserves better."

"I don't want that for her either Emily. You're right. She does deserve better. I want better for her."

"I want her to have everything I didn't have. I don't want to be the reason she doesn't get it all."

"What are you saying?" There was so much hope in his voice. He wanted things to be peaceful. He wanted a chance.

"I don't want her to be hurt the way I was hurt."

"I won't hurt her. Not again… not ever again…"

"Sometimes… sometimes I just wanted my daddy around to hug me after a bad day or tell me everything would be ok. But when I went looking for him, he was never there. I found old newspapers and a stale glass of Bourbon in his place. And I had this constant sadness in my heart that, even with him gone, I still feel. I don't want that for her… for anybody."

"Me neither."

"I want you to be a part of her life Hotch." He finally caught some air in his throat. That was all he needed to hear. He just needed to hear he had a chance. "I'm really not trying to keep you away from her. I just want you to be sure that this is what you want. It's not an obligation. It's not a complication. It has to be what you want. Because otherwise, she'll get hurt. And you have to prove that you won't hurt her. I won't let you hurt her. I won't let anyone hurt her." She looked at him, really looked; she needed to see his reaction. "So what is it that you want?"

"This is what I want. This is all I want. Give me the chance to prove it. I want to be there, not because I have to, not because she's a complication, but because I want to know her. I want to be a part of her life. I want to be her father."

"Good, because I don't know if I can do this alone anymore." Emily sobbed, finally breaking down. He immediately jumped from his seat and ran to her, taking her shaking figure into his arms.

"And I don't want you to do it alone anymore. I'm here. Let me be here. You're not alone."

"When something happens with her, I don't want to think who my first call should be. I shouldn't have to debate if I should or shouldn't call her father. My first instinct should've been to call you, but I called JJ."

"I know." It stung.

"I want my first instinct to be you. You are her father."

"And I'll be the best father I can be."

Composing herself, sniffling and keeping the rest of the tears at bay, Emily pushed him away slightly. She really didn't want his comfort; not again, not yet. Wiping away the tears she said, "I know you'll try, but this isn't fixed yet."

"I know that. I wouldn't expect it to be."

"There's a lot we need to figure out. And we'll figure it out together."

"That's what I want; us, working on this together."

"If you want in her life, it means being there for her."

"I know."

"There's no more stalking Hotch, because that wasn't you. That was creepy. If you want to see her, you let me know and we'll work something out. If you want to know about her, just ask. Don't follow her around or watch the house. And no more rare books that are expensive enough to pay for her tuition. She's five."

"I get it. No more being crazy." Which was what he was… They made him crazy. "What happens now?"

"We can't tell her yet." Emily was clear with that. There was no changing her mind. Though he wanted to try.

"But I am her father Emily."

"You are, and I'm giving you a chance to prove just that. This has to be real. And until you do that, I'm not going to let her get hurt if you decide this isn't for you. I'm not exposing her to heartbreak. So this is one term I won't budge on. Whatever you or I want, what she needs and gets is much more important."

"I'm not going to change my mind Emily." He was wounded that she thought he would, but he understood it. He just wanted to protect her precious heart, even if it was from him.

"I hope not."

"I won't."

"I don't know how this is going to work out, but if this is what you want like you say it is, we'll figure it out."

"I'm telling you, this is what I want."

"Ok. You can see her when you want, just call first, make sure we're home. Maybe, maybe you or you and Jack can come over for one of our pizza nights. Or you could just come by to say hi. It doesn't matter."

"I'd like that. Jack would too I think."

"This is new for me. I don't know how to do this, but I'm trying and willing to put my feelings aside to make this work. You have to do the same."

"I'm trying too."

"We're going to figure this out." It wouldn't be an easy fix, but they were going to try and that was a mountain of progress.

"Jack's birthday is coming up."

"He's turning eight right?"

"Yeah. Haley's throwing him a party. It's nothing big, just a family…"

"Hotch…"

"Just listen Emily." She nodded and stayed quiet. "It's mainly family. Haley's mother and sister will be there with her kids. I'll be there and Jack's having a few friends from school. Jack asked me if Henry and Charlie could come too. So just consider it. I'm not asking you to let me take her and introduce her to them as my daughter or Jack's sister. I just want you and my daughter to be there for my son."

"When is it?"

"His birthday's the 31st, but since that's a Thursday, it's just a small get together on April 2nd."

"We'll do our best to be there, but I have to go. I just want to be with Charlie right now. This was something we needed to do, but I need to get back now."

"Yeah…" He was resolute. Things weren't perfect, but he got what he wanted. As Emily got up to leave, he stopped her. He put a gentle hand around her forearm stopping her from moving. "Thank you for at least giving me a chance."

"I'm doing it for her Hotch. I know underneath it all you're a great guy and a great dad. I want her to have that." She was doing it a little for him too, and herself. It was all so much, and in crisis, all she wanted was someone there that felt exactly how she felt. That should've been Hotch.

"I know, but thank you. And… Could you just give her an extra hug for me today?" He felt weird asking it, but, if he couldn't do it himself, an extra hug from her wouldn't hurt.

"Of course, bye Aaron."

"Bye Emily." She checked to make sure the office was clear before leaving. And she left with a sense of accomplishment and pride. That was a big step for them and it seemed they were finally moving forward. "Don't mess this up." She said to no one. She wasn't sure if it was meant for her or Hotch, maybe both.

In his office, Hotch let out a breath he had been holding for months. He didn't know what came next. Neither did she. It was all up in the air, but he was determined to do his best. He heard what she said, just as she heard what he said and they were going to work on it. They were going to give their daughter their best; their issues aside. Charlie deserved that. And Jack deserved to be a bigger part of his sister's life. They stopped the running. They stopped the yelling. Maybe it was their collective support for one another during Charlie's hospital stay or seeing the love they shared for their tiny creation, but something changed. No, everything changed, and it was for the better. But that didn't mean it would be nothing but smooth sailing.

He didn't anticipate that even though he hoped for it. So as she left his office and he put the broken pieces he had become back together, he walked over to his safe. Turning the knob to the appropriate combination, he waited for the telltale click and pulled the metal door open. With a heavy heart, he pulled out a manila envelope and took it with him to his desk. Pulling out what was inside, he read over it and replayed the day and their past in his head.

There he sat, holding a Declaration of Paternity suit he had his attorney draw up. He didn't know if he could go through with it. He didn't know if he wanted to. He didn't know if it was right and he didn't know if he could truly, honestly, whole heartedly put that into motion, but he couldn't just do nothing anymore. He'd put it away, tuck it back into the safe, maybe shuffle it deep under the other documents, and tell Baleman to hold off, but it gave him peace of mind to know it was there. He'd try to work it out with Emily first; no lawyers or court. He'd give it a shot, he'd play by her rules, but he wouldn't be kept from Charlie. He missed too much. He had so much to make up for. He just wanted to be there. He'd fight for her.

He hoped it didn't come to that. That was the first step in declaring war. It would make everything known. They'd all know who did what and what happened. Their pasts would be exposed; put on display for all to see like a bad art exhibit. And once a new DNA test proved what they already knew to be true, he'd be one step closer to fighting for custody…

He really hoped it didn't come to that… They were working things out. They were working away the bad of their past, but if things went south, he was ready… He really didn't want to be ready…

**Nominations are open for the 2012 Annual Profiler's Choice Awards.**

**If there are authors or stories you deem worthy, whoever they may be and for whatever category, you should nominate them. I know I have some stories I'm going to nominate. Apparently, my linking ability sucks, so just check it out in the Forums. **

**So, again, I apologize for the wait. I needed to get everything I've been wanting in my story but putting off because something else needed to happen first or for whatever reason, into this chapter so I can move it along. And making that work without overcrowding it and still having some kind of cohesiveness was incredibly hard. Editing alone took me like a week. I hope it was worth it. Just know, I put a lot of time and effort into this, so yes, there was a wait, but it's really the story that matters. Right?**

**Also, does anyone else think Red Onion seems like a really stupid name for a supermax Prison? And how are you all feeling about the premiere? Anyone miss Emily as much as I do?**

**HPforever-after**** It's a process, but they're both starting to see the other side. They realize what's important. And though they can't completely ignore their own feelings, they do know that it's Charlie that matters most. **

**123a456e**** I don't think I have it in me to kill Charlie or hurt her without a point. I love the character I made. So she's fine; just a bump in the road. The team will have questions, but I think he did his best to cover it up and they were really more focused on Charlie. He had a legitimate reason for being the one to go. JJ would've been the better choice, because she had been there and could sign when he couldn't, but what fun would that have been? It had to be Hotch.**

**believesvueo**** Yay for this being one of your favorite stories. Makes me :) Boo for me taking so long. 20,000 words though. That has to make up for it just a little right? Maybe? Sorry. But the Hotch Charlie 'I'm your father' intro will happen eventually. Wait for it. I think the way I think I'm going to have it play out will surprise you.**

**SouthunLady ****FF does a lot of stupid mistakes like that. Half the time I get a message to the stories I subscribe to a day after they're updated. I'm sorry that the site's giving you trouble, but it makes me happy to know the story is worth the extra effort. I'm sincerely sorry for the wait and that I've become the author that makes you forget what's going on in the story, because let's face it, I did that this time. I hope this chapter didn't disappoint either. It's a stepping stone or a big leap for Hotch and Emily. **

**dcatt**** I love all the yays! It does suck that Charlie was sick, but I had to do it. I didn't want to be cruel to her, but it was a driving poor. But yes, poor Charlie. Hotch is there when it counts, and I think Emily's starting to realize that. **

**greengirl82**** I love your comments. They always make me happy. You feed my broken ego and build it up, so thanks for all the kind support of my writing and this story. I was happy with the rewrite too. I think Charlie getting sick, which was the rewrite, made everyone come together, but mostly made Hotch realize what was important and made Emily see that she needed to try harder. **

**inheritancedrottningu**** I updated! It took forever, but it's the longest chapter I've ever written. Enjoy. **

**crayolakid0413**** Thank you. I think if the whole thing was a therapy session it'd be pretty boring. Most of everything I write has a distinct purpose. The visit with the doc was a way to tie in everything with JJ and to get Emily to open up without it being so rushed and not her. I figured if there was someone she'd talk to, someone from the team, it'd be JJ. Charlie being sick was meant to be a connecting point between them, and it had to be treatable; she's Charlie. It was supposed to bond them even if they didn't know it did. He needed to show that he could be that support that she needed and that he was there for Charlie too. I think he did that. And Emily needed to learn to accept that, which I think she's trying to do. So, what do you think? Think the secrets out? What do you want the team to do with their possible suspicion? **

**Rugbygirrl**** I think the experience did bond them in some way, don't you? Charlie's ok though so that's good and they have been petty, and at times they'll still be, but at the time, they didn't think about that. It was just two parents hurting for their child, hoping she'd be o. I hope I conveyed that in this chapter. **

**HGRHfan35**** They were giving in, leaning on each other in their time of need. With Charlie sick it was about making it through not holding a grudge or being petty. So you're right, it was about coming together and realizing that together they were stronger, they could face more and overcome greater. It won't always be as simple as 'let me hold your hand all will be ok' but Hotch was there and Emily needed that… which led to this chapter. **

**Emilyhotchnerforever**** You'll be happy to know Charlie is fine and Emily and Hotch are acting like more of a unit. Unfortunately, I don't think Emily's coming back to CM. Paget made the choice to leave, though she did say she'd come back for an episode if they wanted so we'll see. There's a lot of logistics to that so I don't know if it'll happen. It's not the same without her. And yes, killing off Beth is tempting. (Spoiler alert: she may or may not be making an appearance in this story, emphasis on the may) If you want to publish a story, create an account, there's a section for uploading documents, and it gives you instructions. If you create an account and need help figuring it out, PM me and I'll do what I can. Also, I know you were anxious for an update and I apologize for taking so long. **

**fra235**** Hey fra, thanks for commenting. I'm so happy you like the story. I hope you continue to enjoy it and that this chapter was worth the wait. **

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**


	25. Breakthroughs

_I do not own Criminal Minds, only the characters I have created in that world._

_I'm not dead! I'm back and I'm doing better. _

Chapter 25: Breakthroughs

That day in the bullpen, JJ was a little more than confused. Hotch was acting funny. Funny didn't even seem like the right word for it. Blinds closed; that happened every now and again. Headaches or long nights sometimes called for a little peace and darkness, but this was different. He was strange and evasive and, even on the worst of days, he wasn't normally like that.

Striding away from his office, she was sure to look back for any sign of distress, but saw none. Moving deeper into the bullpen, still staring up to the office, JJ walked right into Reid. "Sorry." She said.

"It's fine JJ. Do you know if Hotch is in his office? I want to see if he wants me to come with him to the custodial."

"He's in his office, but he said he'll be in a closed door meeting all day."

"What about the interview?"

"He wanted Rossi to take his place and bring you or Morgan with him. The rest of us, he said, could take whatever files we are working on home."

"That's odd." He joined JJ in the staring, standing shoulder to shoulder facing the boss's office as Reid tried to calculate the exact number of times that happened.

"I know."

"Do you think he's ok?"

"Don't know."

"Should we check on him?"

"Check on who Pretty Boy?" Morgan asked as he walked up to them.

"Hotch."

"Why would we be checking on Hotch? He's a big boy." Reid just pointed to the room and continued adding some numerical data about the number of times he ever saw the room quite so closed off. Needless to say, the percentage was negligible. "What's up with him? He sick?" JJ just repeated what she told Reid. "Who's he meeting with? Did you see?"

"See what sweet cheeks?" Garcia joined them, standing in front of the wall their bodies formed. "What's going on?" It was like a continuous repetitive cycle with one person added each time. They pointed to Hotch's office and waited for her to ask what they knew she'd ask and they answered.

"Do you want me to do my thing and pull up the security cams? I don't usually because, well I'm afraid I'll catch Rossi or Hotch, or worse," she shivered, "Strauss in some kind of awkward position and I'll be scarred for life, but I can pull them up and see who's in there."

"In where?" Ah, Rossi; the last to join the human wall, then made up of four avid gazers.

"Oh, you have to know! Who's in the hush-hush meeting with Boss Man? Is it Obama? Does he have some sort of covert mission that he wants Hotch to oversee? Huh?" She gasped. "Oh, is it the prince? Is he on the phone with the prince? I tried to get his number that one time. Do you think he'd get it for me?"

"I don't think you'll get your wish kitten. I have no idea who else is in there. I didn't hear about any meeting. I thought he had to head up to Red Onion to talk with the Baylor Butcher."

"Oh yeah," JJ was reminded, "he wants you to do that. He said to take Morgan or Reid with you. You should probably head out soon."

"What do you thinks going on in there?"

"Should I do my thing? No one ever answered me?"

"I don't think they replaced the cameras up there since that incident. We won't be able to see anything. We might be able to see someone go up there, but they could've left the other way and we'd never know."

"Oh." She was slightly defeated. "I tried to block that out. You know, think of baby pandas instead of crazies hacking into our system and breaking our cameras. I'm an impenetrable force. I don't like to think about it."

"Look." Reid pulled their gaze. "Someone's peeking through the blinds."

"I can't see them. Can you see them?"

"I'm taking this to mean he's not in trouble. He's not being held hostage in there?"

"You talked to him right?" JJ nodded. "Did he use the distress word?"

"No."

"Then he should be fine. Maybe he's stuck in there with Strauss. That's enough to make him go a little crazy. I know I'd be strange too if I had to send an unspecified amount of time in a room with her talking about budgets and other work crap."

"Ugh…" They all groaned. Strauss was a nightmare anytime, but spending hours alone with her in a confined space made it seem so much worse. "I think I'm going to get my paperwork and head out."

Jubilantly, Garcia added, "I'll join you Jayje. Maybe we can grab some coffee." Nodding, the blondes left the bullpen and the mystery of Hotch behind.

"Rossi? Who you taking? Me or Pretty Boy here?"

"Come on Reid, let's head out. Something tells me you're looking forward to this." He teased. "See you tomorrow Morgan."

They all headed out of the office. Reid and Rossi made the long drive up to the prison and Morgan went to the gym while JJ and Garcia headed out for some coffee before JJ left to pick up Henry from school. It wasn't too often she was done with work in time to do that, so she was excited and she knew Henry would be too. All that aside though, they were still curious about Hotch and what was going on there, but they were determined to figure it out sooner or later. Until then, Hotch and Emily would be left to deal with their issues in private.

And since their much needed, emotional, very real conversation in his office, things between Hotch and Emily were… they were different, but they were also more of the same. They were both true to their word. They made the effort. But things weren't perfect. It was so far from perfect.

A week had passed fairly quickly. Emily was alternating between figuring out her own situation both health and work, and being there for Charlie. She continued to meet with Dr. Lozano twice a week as agreed upon. She was struggling to keep it all together, but she was pushing through the self doubt and talking things out with the therapist. Medically, the doctor saw nothing wrong with her head. The headaches were, most likely, just residual effects from the swelling and stress. She was told to rest another week, which she was doing anyway with Charlie home sick, and take the prescribed medicine if needed; nothing to worry about. However, the doctor insisted for a follow up appointment in three months just to be safe and explained symptoms of distress to look out for.

She was really working through those problems, or doing her best to try. And Charlie was doing well. At first she was sluggish and not really her euphoric self, but she slowly got her groove back. She liked the amount of ice cream and attention she was getting; not that she was really lacking with the latter. It just made her feel special. JJ and Henry or Will and Henry came over sometimes after school to bring her work and play for a little while. Jack was with his mom, but he came over with Aaron when she first came home from the hospital. They were all called away on a case midweek. But they all still made the effort. And Clyde was still there too. Charlie really liked that; just like she liked Rossi's grandfatherly appeal and the newfound abundance of pseudo aunts and uncles. Her life seemed to be filled with more and more people every day.

While away on the case, Aaron called Emily to check on Charlie. He couldn't physically be there, not all the time and not at all when he was away, but he had to at least call. It was a lifeline that Emily offered and he needed it. He never actually talked to Charlie when he called, except for that one time she answered and told him all about her day, but he made Emily promise to tell her he was thinking of her or something along those lines. And she did that in attempt to appease him and slowly ease their daughter into his, hopefully one day large and important, increasing presence in her life. But, even so, their conversations were sterile. Mostly they consisted of more of the same; always different versions of the same conversation like the first one they had while he was away on a case.

"Hello." She answered the phone.

"Hi. How are you?"

"Fine. You?"

"Good."

"Great. How's the case?"

"It's going well. We're finishing up the profile now."

"Good, that's good." And that was it for their own conversation. The safest of questions were asked and answered and then they moved on to Charlie. Luckily, the question came at a good time and his timing was perfect. He called just as they were returning from the first follow up appointment.

"She… She's great. Doctor says she's healing nicely. No fever, no infection, and the stitches get to come out after school on Monday. He even said that since she's moving around more that she could start doing half days at school tomorrow and Friday before going back fulltime on Monday."

"Is she ready for that?" He asked.

"I think she is. I don't know if I am or if it's the right choice though. What do you think?" She was making an effort to include him. It wasn't a big choice. Charlie was doing well and would be going back to school either way, but including him mattered. It mattered even more since she wanted their arrangement or agreement or whatever it was to work. They both did; Charlie too.

"Maybe just Friday. That way she gets used to being in school again, but she only has one day before the weekend and it won't be too much."

"Sounds like a good idea."

"I… uh… I have to go. They're waiting for me."

"Do you want to speak to her before you go back to work?"

"I can't. I'll try to call back later, but things are crazy here."

"Ok. Bye Hotch."

"Bye Emily."

The other times he called were the same thing. That Friday he asked about her first day back at school and how she handled it. He even said goodnight to Charlie when she answered the phone. It was late and they were just about to board the plane home. So there was progress, but it didn't feel like enough. The truth was they anticipated more progress. It seemed like they were moving forward, and they were. But for every step in the right direction with Charlie, their own unresolved issues, things in their relationship, took two steps back and it got in the way of everything else. But their plates were full enough without thinking too much about certain aspects of it. They were trying to make it work and that was what mattered. In the end, the kids were what mattered.

Hotch's help in the decision making made them both feel better and having her go into school a little before the first full day made the transition easier. It helped her regain the normalcy; made her feel like she was normal again. That was all anyone really wanted. And after the case was over, he made plans to see for himself how the first day went. He knew with the way things were going with Emily, the whole avoidance thing, things would be a little uncomfortable, but it would be worth it.

Showing up at the house early Saturday afternoon was different. It felt different. For the first time, it felt like he was going there as a father instead of a complete visitor. Yes, he went with Jack and he went there before, but there was just something that was changing. He didn't know why or even if it made sense, but there was something so dissimilar that he didn't know how to feel. He was nervous. He was anxious and a little petrified; scared of a little time with a little girl and her mother… and Clyde, but that was a person, a whole subject, he wanted to avoid all together.

Knocking made it real. Being invited in and greeted by an up and about Charlie made it real; more real because it was always real. He thought it felt real before, but there was something both liberating and constricting about his talk with Emily. "Hi Aaron."

"Hi Charlie. Is your mom home?"

"She's upstairs with Clyde, but she said I could open the door because she saw you coming. She said I could so I won't get in trouble."

"Can I come in?" He asked.

"Do you want me to get you a drink? Mommy made coffee. We have milk! I can pour it all myself." She was a little hostess in the making.

"That's ok Charlie. I just wanted to come see you."

"Me?"

"Yeah, you. I wanted to hear all about your first day at school."

"I was only there for a little while." She explained as she led him through the house. "But I had lots of fun with Henry and my friends. I have lots of friends."

"You do? A lot?" He loved the ease in which the conversation flowed. It felt easier than before; more natural.

"So many! But Henry's my favorite. And Jack too. He's fun but he's not in my class so I don't see him so much. "

"Do you want to see him more?" He asked hesitantly. A part of him, like Emily was too, was walking on egg shells. He didn't want to ruin the steps they had made because he said the wrong thing or did something he shouldn't have.

With confused eyes, so full of life and curiosity, she asked, "How?"

"Maybe we can all play together?"

"Who?"

"Me, you, Jack…"

"And mommy?"

"Mommy too."

"Cool."

"Yeah. Tell me what you did today."

Emily watched from afar as they interacted. Leaning against the doorframe, Emily listened as Charlie told him all about school from Emily waking her up and driving her to handing in her homework and helping clean the boards during recess since she couldn't play too much outside. For such a short day she seemed to pack a lot in there, but he was happy to hear about it all. "Will you play with me?" She asked as she finished talking. "Mommy said she'd play but she's taking too long."

"What were you going to play?"

"Tea party. Clyde made real English tea for me. Will you play?"

He wanted to say no. He didn't know how to play tea party even if he wanted to, but it was the first time she actually wanted him to just play. There were no buffers; no Emily or Jack to act as intermediaries, no Emily lying in a hospital bed beside them, and that scared him. But it also liberated him. As uncomfortable and lost as he was playing girl games and as inadequate as he felt, he wanted and was willing to make a fool of himself for her. "I… uh…I guess I could give it a try." Though, he wished Emily would figure out whatever it was she was doing and save him.

"Well, come on! We have to go into the kitchen. You're too big for the special table."

"I'm too big?"

"It's only for kids silly."

"Then I guess I shouldn't sit there." She shook her head and told him to follow her. Emily watched it all in amusement. People would pay money to see a grown man, an alpha male like Hotch, play tea party. If Charlie had her way it'd be dress up too. That would come with a hefty price tag. If that ever happened, Emily made mental note to record that if for no other reason than posterity's sake. That, and Garcia and JJ would love to see it too.

Emily was about to head in there and join them when a hand stopped her. She turned. "Hi Clyde. Join me?"

"He's good with her."

"They have their moments."

"No Jack this time?"

"He's with his mother this weekend." She responded quietly. She didn't want to disturb the peace of father-daughter bonding time.

"Too bad."

"Yeah."

"So it's just him then?"

"Yes. I don't know how long he'll be here or what exactly I'm hoping for."

"Just give it a chance."

"I am."

"Go be with them. I have some wandering to do."

"Where are you going?"

"Don't worry about me love." He moved in closer to whisper in her ear. "Enjoy family time."

It wasn't family time. Was it? In a way, they were trying to create this makeshift family. They were trying to introduce him into the role of father. But that didn't make them; the three of them, a family, only an extension. They would always be Emily and Charlie and Aaron and Charlie, and that created the extension, but she couldn't see them being Emily, Aaron, and Charlie. They both forbid themselves from seeing that and, with their last encounter making it apparent that their history was a series of flukes, there couldn't really be a clear vision of that anyway. It didn't make it impossible, just harder.

"Sorry I took so long." Emily interrupted their play.

"Mommy! You took forever. Are you going to play too?"

She didn't need his permission and she didn't need to give him the choice, but she did. She looked to him, silently asking if that was ok. "Please, join us. Charlie was just teaching me the proper etiquette for high tea."

"Ah, Clyde brought her a book about it."

"The girl in the story even has my name. It's called Charlotte goes to Tea! Isn't that so awesome?"

"It's pretty awesome. I bet that made you happy. I know how much you love books."

"Mommy read me my very special book." He guiltily looked to Emily. Hearing the way she said that; all covertly and sly and knowing exactly which book she was talking about, it made him feel disgusting. He was disgusting because he asked her to lie, partially lie, for him. Giving her a sentimental gift, however pricey, was his prerogative. She was his daughter and that was his choice, but asking her to keep secrets, that made him so terrible. And Charlie, being as smart as she was, picked up on what she did. She basically told the secret. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry Charlie." Emily said, sure to give Hotch a look that said, "Seriously?"

He looked apologetic but it wasn't enough. "Your mom's right Charlie. You don't have to be sorry. It's not a secret anymore. I shouldn't have asked you to keep that or anything from mommy. So I'm sorry. Can you forgive me?" He was asking Charlie, but he was looking at Emily.

"Ok. If you're sorry, then it's ok." Sweet little Charlie…

"Thank you." Charlie said that he was welcome by giving him a quick hug and moving over to her mother.

"Why do you look so mad?"

"I'm not mad."

"Yes you are. I don't want you to be mad. I'm sorry."

"I'm not mad Charlie. I promise I'm not. I was just a little upset that you thought you had to lie to me."

"But I never lied. I got it from a friend. I said I got it from a friend and I did."

"You're too smart sometimes."

"Would you be less sad if Aaron said he was sorry too? I know he's sorry."

"I'm ok Charlie. Let's just play. Ok?" She nodded and poured her mother a cup.

They spent the next two hours playing tea party. Despite the hints of animosity and anger that they did their very best to mask from Charlie, they had a good time. They even had a few good laughs and memories. When Charlie forced a top hat and bib like cloth with a tuxedo design onto Hotch, Emily saw it as a prime time to immortalize the moment. She and Charlie had on tiaras to match and together, they took a picture to hold on to the simple happiness amongst the complicated mess of their lives.

"Thank you for playing with me Aaron."

"I had fun Charlie."

"Me too. Mommy, I'm hungry."

"Ok, go wash up, I'll make dinner."

"Where's Clyde?"

"He'll be back soon."

"Ok. I'll be right back." She looked to Hotch. "Don't go yet. Ok?"

"Ok."

Charlie left Hotch with a smile on his face that was probably bigger than it should have been. "You look happy."

"And you don't." He realized.

"I'm fine Hotch."

"You're not."

"You asked her to lie to me?" There was an air of disbelief. She had to know it, but having it confirmed, seeing her daughter feel guilty, it was worse.

"I did a lot of things I'm not proud of."

"Yeah, well there were a lot of things you shouldn't have been proud of."

"I know."

"What are you doing here?"

"We talked about this."

"No… I mean yes, we talked about this." She said quietly making sure Charlie was still gone. "But I'm asking why. Why are we doing this? Why are you here playing tea party?"

"Where else would I be?"

"At work, with Jack, at a bar for all I know."

"No. Here. I'm here like I said I'd be. And there's nowhere else I'd rather be."

"For how long?"

"What?"

"How long is that going to be true?" He couldn't pinpoint where the day went wrong or where the animosity was coming from. What he did was wrong, but it wasn't the worst thing he ever did. And, yes, that made him seem like a horrible person, but he wasn't. He was trying and he couldn't figure out where the attitude came from.

"For ever Emily. For as long as you allow it to be true."

"We'll see." She thought. "I'm sorry. I don't want to argue with you. Charlie will be back in a minute. Are you going to stay for dinner?"

"Only if you want me to." He was trying to be respectful, but, for some reason, it felt a little condescending to her.

"It's about what you want. I'm asking if this is what _you _want." She still had her doubts and, somehow, that was what it always came back to.

"Then yes," he responded calmly, "I'll stay."

"Fine." She said before politely excusing herself to go cook. Charlie came back a few minutes later and thirty minutes after that food was served. Emily was hoping Clyde would be back by then, but he wasn't, so she set a plate aside for him and joined them. It was… it was something alright. It was tension filled for no real reason, though they were very good at keeping Charlie from picking up on it. And unless Charlie initiated the talking, it was pretty quiet. Hotch and Emily spared each other a few random glances, but exchanged no direct words. The environment was hostile, but it shouldn't have been. He was trying not to overstep or push her, but him doing that did the opposite. And Emily couldn't control her emotions. She felt what she felt and she didn't know why she felt it. Maybe she was more upset than she should've been. Asking their daughter to lie was angering, but it wasn't enough to create that much strain. They both needed to work on that.

"Am I interrupting?" The English brogue startled the silence.

"Clyde!" Charlie yelled.

"Oh thank god." Emily mumbled, looking to him with a smile. She prayed he'd show up and make the situation a little less icy.

"Hello my love. Are you having fun with Aaron and mommy?"

"We played tea party Clyde, but you weren't here. Why weren't you here?"

"I picked up dessert. Chocolate ice cream and brownies."

"Mommy says no more ice cream."

"I think she'll allow it. Why don't we ask her?"

Emily was such a sucker for those doe eyes, all wide and innocent. "Mommy?"

"We can have ice cream in a little while."

"Do you want some ice cream Aaron?" Charlie asked.

"Yes, do you Aaron?" Clyde almost mocked. The two men had their differences and they would likely never get along, but he wanted his friend to work on things with him. He wanted them to see what he saw; to know what he knew. That didn't mean it was going to change him. Clyde picked up on the heavy atmosphere as soon as he stepped into the house. The only one who didn't notice was too young to understand it anyway.

"I'll think about it." was his answer.

"I didn't know how long you'd be so I put a plate aside for you in the oven."

"Thank you."

"Would you like to join us?" She asked hopefully.

"No, thank you."

"Where were you?" Emily was trying to keep him involved to keep from further forced conversation with Hotch. She didn't want to make the situation worse, which she assumed she would.

So, until Emily left the room to help Charlie make the ice cream, Emily talked to and through Clyde while giving Hotch space to interact with Charlie and the freedom to talk to her if he chose. It was complicated; all so, so complicated, and only because they made it that way.

But, when Emily left the room, it left Clyde and Aaron to talk. "What's going on with you and Emily?" He got straight to the point.

"What? Nothing's going on?"

"Is that a question?"

"No."

"Did you say something to her?"

"We talked."

"Something to upset her?"

"No." Yes, probably more than a few things.

"Good. And you went to the hospital when I rang you."

"I did."

"Are you having a good time with Charlotte?"

"We played tea party." He stated monotonously.

"Tea party can be enjoyable. She likes it."

"She made me wear a hat." Hotch responded, trying to keep the civility going.

Clyde leaned in closer to the other man, looked around to make sure the women weren't returning, and said, "Let's keep the chit chat to a minimum. Do we need to have another talk?"

"Excuse me?"

"Do we need to have another talk about you being there for Emily and Charlie?"

"No Clyde. And, frankly, I can't understand what any of this has to do with you."

"That's simple. Emily is one of my nearest and dearest friends. Her daughter, your daughter, is as much my family as she is yours. Time and again, I leave them in your capable hands only to come back to this. What's happening between you and Emily? Did you hurt her again?"

He wanted to be mad. Hotch wanted to be mad and yell or argue, but like every time before, Clyde was just looking out for them and making sure they were taken care of. He couldn't fault him for that. "I didn't hurt her Clyde."

"Then what is it? There's something. I trust you to be there for both of them; not just Charlie. That's your job. It's a job I loved and will always have, but it's your turn. Be the man Aaron. Fix things with her and do it before I see you again because I don't want to have this conversation one more time. Whatever you did, whatever she did, whatever happened between the two of you that you're not talking about… Just make things better so I can leave and do my work properly without distraction."

"You're not blaming appendicitis on me are you? Because that's ridiculous, even for you Clyde."

"I am blaming nothing on you. Simply, I'm saying, now that you know everything, it's your responsibility. And this," he made a hand gesture to the surroundings, "this tension isn't helping. You and Emily need to work on that."

"Tell that to her." He hissed.

"Oh, I have. Our Prentiss there is, well she's woman. What's your excuse?"

"Clyde, I don't…"

"Ask yourself why you're in this situation. What feelings got you here?" Hotch looked dumbfounded.

"Hey, ice cream's ready." Emily interrupted. She gave them a questioning look. They looked too serious. "Everything ok?" She asked them both.

"Fine." They answered at the same time. Definitely not a good sign.

"Ok, come on. Charlie's waiting."

Exchanging one last look, the men joined them in the kitchen for ice cream and a little Charlie goodness. After they all ate, Hotch explained that he had to head home. Charlie didn't want him to leave and wouldn't let him until he promised to bring Jack sometime. But once Hotch did, she let him go. Emily could sense there was something on Clyde's mind. And the weird goodbye made her think there was something on Aaron's as well, but she needed to let it go for the time being and get her sticky, chocolaty kid into a bath. For a pretty neat eater, she sure did make a mess.

For Charlie, it was a good day. But good day or not, she knew she had to say goodbye to Clyde and that did not make Charlie happy. It honestly didn't make Emily happy either because he was her friend, but it had to happen sooner or later. He was putting his life on hold for them and she couldn't ask that of him.

"Do you really have to leave?" Charlie asked as Clyde helped put her to bed.

"Yes love. I have to get back to London for work, but I'll miss you very much."

"That means you should stay because I'll miss you lots and mommy will miss you too. I don't like to miss people. I miss grandma and mommy when she has to work and you're leaving. I hate when people leave." Emily hated that her daughter knew the pain of people leaving, and, worse still, that she was partially responsible for that pain.

"I know. I hate it too. But I'll be just a ring away."

"Will you tell me a story Clyde? Mommy usually does it, but you can help. You and mommy can make up a story for me." A story was her go to pastime.

He looked to Emily, who shrugged, then back to the girl in the bed. "What kind of story?"

"How did you meet my mommy? Tell me that, but do it like mommy tells stories. You can be Sir Clyde and she can be Lady Emily."

"A fairy tale?"

"Yeah!" Once again he looked to Emily for a little guidance. Surely, their story was not one appropriate for a child, not fully.

"I'll start it ok? That way he knows how to tell the story." Emily stepped in.

"Ok."

"Once upon a time in the kingdom of York, a man and a woman found some new friends…" They didn't even make it halfway through the story before she conked out. That wasn't unexpected, but when Clyde went to move he found her hand clutching his shirt so tight he thought he'd have to sleep there sitting up. Eventually, though, he managed to release himself, tuck her in a little tighter, and make his leave. "She loves you." Emily whispered from the hall as he started for his room.

He nodded in response. He knew she loved him and he loved her. That girl, much like her mother, made it impossible not to love her. "She could love him too." He knew she didn't want to have that conversation, but that was precisely why he was forcing it. He was leaving. He'd be gone by morning and there were things that needed to be said.

"I know." She responded weakly. Charlie did love him, even like a father, she just didn't know it yet.

"Do you? Because, darling, you're putting up one hell of a fight."

"What does that mean?" Her voice hissed.

"You're both pushing each other away."

"No we are not." She insisted. It nearly caused him to laugh. They were stubborn. They were both stubborn and insolent and blind to what was right before them.

"Yes."

"No." With a slightly raised voice and the fear of waking Charlie up, Emily took his arm and dragged Clyde into the guest bedroom. "If you have something to say, just say it." And she knew he did. If he didn't, he wasn't him.

Taking a deep breath, knowing he was going to be stepping on toes, he sat down and looked to her. His face was serious, but warm. Confusing was what it was. "Emily…"

"Clyde…"

He motioned for her to join him on the bed. She did and she waited. Clyde was a very outspoken person. He didn't hold back. Comportment wasn't a priority a majority of the time, but she could see he was trying. That didn't make her feel any better. "I've been here a week."

"I know. I've been with you."

"I've seen you with him."

"Where are you going with this Clyde?"

"I've seen him with her. I've seen the both of you together with her. And I've heard the calls."

"Ok."

"You two barely said one word to each other that didn't mention Charlie."

"Well, he's here for Charlie."

He just shook his head. "You two seemed so close to each other at the hospital. What happened since?"

"Nothing happened Clyde. And we weren't close. We were concerned parents. That's all."

"Are you awkward with him because you slept with him again?"

"What?! Clyde, we didn't…" All he had to do was give her a stern look and her resolve crumbled. "Ok, we did, but we talked about it and we are not awkward."

"Yes, love, lying to yourself will get you far."

"I'm not lying to myself." She insisted, but his face made it clear he didn't believe her. "I'm not."

"Emily, dear, I do believe you are in denial. The two of you couldn't be better suited if sold in a package deal, but both so oblivious to what's right there. Both so intent on ignoring the obvious and too stubborn to admit to feeling it…"

"You lost me Clyde."

"I know I did." He said with a huff. She was just so frustrating. "I talked to him."

"And? What did you talk about?"

"Why did you sleep with him?" It was like they were having two different conversations that just happened to be occurring in tandem. And that wasn't a question she saw coming.

"You asked him that?" She was mortified.

"No." She was infuriating. "We talked about Charlie… and you."

"Wha… Why me?"

"You know why. What I don't comprehend is how neither of you can see it." Never mind admit it…

"See what?"

"Or maybe you do see it and just chose to ignore it."

"What are you talking about?"

"Why did you sleep with him?" He asked again.

"We are not discussing this." Though, they discussed such topics many times before.

"Come on Em. Why?" He knew she would answer. Not answering was like admitting there was something to admit and that wasn't a Prentiss thing to do.

"He was just there." She gave in. "He was there, I was just drunk enough, and I couldn't remember the last time I had sex; especially good sex." That was her reasoning and she was prepared to stick to it.

"Good sex, huh?" He quietly said with a smirk, but she didn't hear that. "It has nothing to do with feelings? You didn't sleep with him because you like him, possibly more?"

"Oh god no! There is no like there. Not the way you mean it. And there's nothing more. Nope. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zero." The lady doth protest too much.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am very sure."

"Then ask yourself this. Of all the people there you could've chosen for your little rendezvous; strangers, acquaintances, friends, whomever… Why choose him? Why sleep with the one man that that would take an already complicated situation and add more baggage to the load when you could've needs met by any guy that was gawking at you that night? Ask yourself that."

"He was there and you weren't an option." She defended her choice.

"I'm always an option." He joked.

"You were watching my daughter after forcing him on me to 'talk.' If you ask me, this is all your fault. You pushed us together and that's where we ended up."

"You could blame me, but you'd still both be idiots. You really need to do some searching. Figure out why you ended that night in his bed and you'll solve a lot of problems. He needs to do the same because this clearly isn't working for anyone. And Charlie will eventually pick up on this as well."

"I think all the American tea has gone to your head. Did you run out of the English stuff?"

"I think you're starting to realize that I'm right. But, as I have an early flight to catch in the morning and I must be getting to bed, we don't have time to dwell on my victory." He shooed her away.

"Clyde…"

"Reflect a little. Listen to what I've said and you'll realize right like I always am. Goodnight love."

"Clyde." She said as he pushed her out the door. "Clyde this isn't…" He shut the door in her face. "…funny." Sighing, she left quietly and allowed his words to sink in. As the night progressed, it became harder and harder to shut her brain off. "Damn it Clyde!" She hissed into the darkness as his voice replayed in her head once again. She was going to kill him. He planted a seed that had no business being introduced into the terrain. He should've just let sleeping dogs lie. Yes, his intentions were good, but all he did was make her crazy. Feelings for Hotch… Ha! She didn't have feelings for Aaron. She didn't! Anger; maybe sometimes. Friendship: they were working on it again. So, she was wrong. She had feelings for him. How could she not? They just weren't the feelings Clyde was talking about. There was love shared for the child they had, but that was the only love shared. "Agh!" She screamed into her pillow. "I hate you Clyde."

She half expected to hear his retort. "You love me darling." He would've said. But there was nothing. Where she was concerned, there was nothing because there could be nothing. "No." She caught herself. "Nothing. There's nothing." She said aloud. "Nothing." It took a while, but she eventually fell asleep. Restless as it was, she was, at least, dream free. But she was woken way too early. Even going to bed hours before normal didn't help.

"Go away." She grumbled as a persistent hand shook her.

"But mommy, your alarm's about to go off. We have to take Clyde to the airplane." Emily just let out some incoherent babble "That's ok. You don't have to wake up. I don't want him to go anyway. I couldn't sleep anymore because I knew he was going and we had to get up super early, but I can sleep now. Can I stay in here? I stayed in my room like a big girl for a long time."

"Mmmm… Charlie it's only 2 O'clock."

"I know, but 2 comes before 3 and you said you had to wake up at 3:30 and I wanted to come with you."

"You can stay in here, but sleep. Ok?" Charlie nodded and slid under the covers.

Emily didn't get back to sleep. Instead, she stayed up holding Charlie for the hour and a half, shut off the alarm just before it went off, and got dressed. Clyde was already ready, insisting once again that he could simply take a cab, but Emily wasn't having that. As he put the bags in the trunk, she strapped Charlie into the safety seat and tried not to wake her until she had to. Emily may have promised she could come, but didn't mean she had to be awake for the trip. Sleep was important too. The goodbyes were hard; as they always were. Charlie spent a good five minutes pleading for him to stay. It was a process they were accustomed to, as terrible as that sounded. But it, somehow, felt worse that time. They did get her calm though and they said their goodbyes as Clyde had to hurry through security to make his flight.

"Ok Charlie." He stood her on a chair to make her taller. "I have to go now, but I need you to promise me something."

"What?"

"Promise you'll be a good girl for your mother and try not to scare us anymore. That means no more trips to the hospital."

"I promise." She said with a hug and smile.

"And you," he said to Emily taking her in for a hug, "you need to think about what I said."

"I will Clyde, just so I can say you were wrong."

"Bye darlings. Take care of each other. I'll see you soon."

"Call me when you get home." She made him promise. Then they waited and watched him disappear behind the gates before leaving themselves. Emily had a lot to not think about and Charlie was tired and upset. Yeah, goodbyes were hard. They just needed to get home.

The rest of March was a bit of a roller coaster. Charlie got her stitches out and was given a clean bill of health. Emily continued her regular therapy sessions. Hotch did his best to call when he could and made plans to stop by in between cases. It wasn't every day, but it was time with his daughter that they all wanted him to have. It was stable and reliable time that he promised to set aside for her. But it only lasted all of two weeks. It didn't take long for him to start cancelling.

He promised to take her and Jack to the movies, but something came up. Emily understood that. Life happened. There would be cancellations. But he promised that they'd do it the next day. And he canceled again. Then he was supposed to come over for dinner and he couldn't make it. Again, Emily understood, but she could see that he was letting Charlie down. She wouldn't complain and she wouldn't say she was upset by it, but she was. It was clearly pictured on her face. Still, Emily wished for the best. She tried not to read too much into it, but it was getting hard. They made plans everyday for a week and he cancelled each time. What was worse, though, was he didn't give a reason. She knew it wasn't work because no one else on the team was gone; she checked. And he never gave a reason; she needed a reason. She was tired of telling her daughter, "I'm sorry sweetie, you're not going today because Aaron had to work" when she knew that wasn't the truth. It was just the only excuse she could think of. And each day she had to see that sad face say, "That's ok mommy. We can play together like we always do. That's fun too" she was reminded why she was weary in the first place.

Everything wasn't what she hoped for and nothing that she wanted and they were only a few weeks into making it work. That didn't bode well for the future. At the same time, though, it made her stronger. It made her confidence as a single parent reemerge. For a moment, especially after really thinking about what Clyde said, she considered really letting him in; letting him share the burdens and responsibilities, but that was a moment of weakness. After the Charlie hospital scare, she was vulnerable and tired of doing all the heavy lifting by herself, but strong Emily was back. That much was proven at her last therapy session.

"Did I tell you I finally sold the condo?"

"Finally? It seemed like you were holding onto that thing for dear life." Maybe she was. "How many offers have you had on it?"

"A few."

"How many is a few?"

"Enough to know that I was holding onto it for reasons other than a better profit." She answered honestly, and as expected, they delved into those reasons. And then they moved to topics they talked about time and time again. Somehow they ended up in Doyle territory. But it was different. Something in Emily had changed.

"I know I separate myself from Lauren. But, to me, we are two different people. And I say I didn't love Ian, but the fact that I call him Ian says otherwise. Lauren loved him, and I was Lauren. So, by default, a part of me loved him too. Right?" She didn't wait for an answer. "It was a very small part of me, but I did love him. I do love the glimpse of a good man I saw from time to time and I love the way he was with me, but that doesn't negate the fact that he was a terrorist who later terrorized me. There's no reconciling that. He was a big part of my life, the biggest part, for years. It's ok that I loved him and it's ok for me to admit that."

"It is." She said with a smile. "It's ok to admit that. Feelings can't be helped and you did spend a lot of time with him. It would make sense to develop such strong feelings. But, that you know he was still a criminal and you still did your job speaks volumes."

"I think I've come to a realization Claire."

"You called me Claire."

"I did."

With a smirk of accomplishment, Claire said, "So you came to a realization. What was it?"

"We talked a lot about who I am; about who I've become since my time as Lauren and since I've joined the BAU. And I realized that I'm not sure who I am, but that doesn't matter. I'm happy with the person I've become; whoever that is. I am a good agent. I am a fairly generous humanitarian. I am a decent human being. And, most importantly, I am a damn good mother. I'm happy with that."

"As you should be." This time it was Emily who was smiling.

"I came back different, but it was a necessary different. I wasn't the same person and my life wasn't in the same place. I needed to change. I needed to grow. And that was what I did. I became better. I did better for myself and I did better for my daughter."

"You have." She agreed.

"He came back into my life and brought all the memories and pain back with him. I'm stuck with that. It will always haunt me. But it doesn't have to consume me. And I want to put the past into the past. I want to keep moving forward. What has happened will stay with me. And I want it to, but it shouldn't control me. I want to be able to forgive and accept so I can look to the future." They discussed that further. Claire was happy with the progress; happy to see one of her most guarded and stubborn agents finally accepting the sounding board she was offering. She honestly thought the day would come much, much later, but the authenticity was there. It was real.

"You know, I've come to a realization myself Emily."

"You have?"

"Yes. I believe it's time you got back to work."

"Really?" The words were music to her ears; no more empty days while Charlie was at school.

"I believe you're ready. You really have come a long way, but you're not finished. So, if you're comfortable and if you feel up for it, I will sign the papers that will release you for active duty; field work and all. The only condition I have is that you continue seeing me once every two weeks for the next two months and after every case. We'll see where you are after that." Dr. Lozano looked for her patient's reaction, but as Emily typically was, she was stoic. "Can you agree to that?"

"I can agree to that." She was eager to agree to that.

"Good, documents with my signature will be on Agent Hotchner and Strauss's desk by the end of the day."

She was back. She was willing. And she was able. Emily Prentiss was ready to be herself again… She was going back to work, Charlie was better, she was stronger, and she managed to convince herself that she and Hotch were friends. They had to be friends to be good parents. There was nothing more, nothing less. She was content with that and buried the rest in the bottom of one of her mind's vaults. Yup, all was good again.

As for Hotch, he wasn't quite so evolved. He didn't have the therapy to help him sort his problems; it was just him and his mind. And that made it difficult. He knew he was disappointing Charlie and letting Emily down every time he cancelled, but it didn't stop him. He had his reasons; some good, most not.

The truth was that he enjoyed the time he spent with them; Emily included. Since the hospital visit, he was there. He felt a part of their lives even if only a fraction of the way he should've been. And that bothered him, the fraction bothered him, but he was doing his best. It was simple. He would go over, sometimes with Jack, though mostly alone, and he'd play. Emily would ease him into it, suggest Charlie show him this or teach him that. It helped. When the cases were local or he had the time, he'd go over after he knew she was home from dance or whatever. The first week after Clyde left, he was there almost every day. The case load was light and he managed to make it there three of the five weekdays and the weekend too. Sometimes it was only an hour or two at a time, but it was what they needed.

But then it got harder. Not only was he busier, because that definitely made it hard, but there was some psychological warfare as well. Every time he went there, he had to deal with Clyde in his head. He couldn't escape the Brit and it was literally driving him mad. The man was in his head playing games with his thoughts, and it was ridiculous. Mentioning feelings and questioning him. What did he know? He wasn't even there half the time. How could he possibly know anything? He definitely didn't know anything about Hotch. How could he? But that didn't stop him from having an opinion and putting his two cents in where coins were not accepted.

In the end, that was his downfall. Each time he went over to the house, he saw Emily. And every time he saw Emily, he was forced to think about Clyde and feelings. He did enough of that when he was alone at night. He didn't need to do that there too. But, with every look her way and every smile she gave him, those _feelings_ he didn't have fluttered around his body. No, he didn't feel anything, he couldn't, but Clyde made him believe he did. He was seriously considering flying to England just to kick the bastard's ass. He was doing nothing but causing trouble for him.

If they were clear headed and honest, they would've seen that Clyde was trying to help them. They would've seen that he was just trying to speed things along and get them over the hump. But their refusal to see and feel made that seem like an impossibility. To them, it was. And no good deed goes unpunished. Clyde was helping, but Emily and Aaron were making it worse; unintentionally. Emily pretended there was nothing and Aaron pretended there was nothing. They both pretended and it had its consequences.

Hotch started cancelling. The first time, he really couldn't make it. He wanted to see Charlie, but the thought of seeing Emily again, looking at her and using everything in him to shut off his brain, made him exhausted. And a last minute call from an old friend was the perfect excuse not to see Emily. He missed seeing Charlie and he felt guilty, but one night, distracted enough not to think about it, made him feel relieved; like maybe Clyde was wrong. And they both needed Clyde to be wrong. But then, one day turned into two, the plans for the next day got cancelled, and the next day, and he was just continuously letting down his little girl. The guilt was there; enormously so, and he had no excuse other than avoidance for the girl's mother and, hell, maybe the child too, but he still did it. He didn't want to do it, but he did.

He didn't know what was wrong with him. They were both so good at compartmentalizing everything else. What was so different about this? The problem was that Emily couldn't read his duplicity and he couldn't read hers; mostly because they didn't realize they were lying to themselves. They were just that good. They saw what they wanted to see and felt what they thought they should; what they felt they needed. And that was what got them into trouble. Perception versus reality and truth versus thoughts… It was a mess, but it was expected. They'd deal with it in their own time.

But Hotch's main concern was Charlie. He wasn't seeing her because he didn't want to see Emily. How did that make sense? He wasn't an avoider and neither was Emily, but when it came to each other that was all they seemed to do. So the last few days of March, he worked to rectify the situation. He called every morning and every night but she didn't answer. The thought of just stopping by crossed his mind, but he deemed it a bad idea. There was a reason she wasn't answering and he knew that reason. He guessed he should've been grateful he was just being sent to voicemail rather than hung up on, but he would've at least liked some sort of response. He would've settled for anything really; even a text saying everything was ok. Instead, he casually asked JJ in passing how Emily and Charlie were doing. When she said they were well, he felt a little better. He just wished Emily was the one telling him that.

However, Thursday evening, before heading out for a special birthday dinner, just him and his son, the one he once planned to invite Emily and Charlie to even if that made it seem date like, he found her clearance papers on his desk. Once he and Strauss signed, Emily would officially be back from her unpaid leave and there'd be no more avoiding. Before leaving that night, he signed his name and put it in the outbox. It'd soon be official. The team wanted that… He wanted that. But he wasn't prepared for that. Not yet…

He spent the night focused on his son, which he should've done, and returned him back to Haley's in time to do homework and bathe before bed. He actually got to say goodnight in person, which didn't happen nearly often enough. It was refreshing even if the night was missing a certain someone.

"Goodnight dad. I love you."

"I love you too son. I'll see you on Saturday for your party."

"Everyone's going to be there right? There's not going to be a case?"

"Everyone will be here. Now sleep. You have school in the morning."

"Ok. Bye dad."

"Bye Jack. Happy birthday."

He tucked his son in and left the room. Haley stopped him before he reached the door. "Thank you for keeping this promise Aaron. He was so excited to spend his birthday with you."

"He's my son Haley. Just because we're over doesn't mean he's not my son. We don't have to be an us for him to be important to me." The words replayed in his mind. Why did that make sense with Haley but not Emily? How was he so willing to forgive her for taking his son and walking out on him, but he couldn't do that with Emily?

"I know." Haley responded, noticing the look on his face. "Are you ok Aaron?" He didn't reply, just stilled. "It's just; you seem distracted, like you're somewhere else. And, like you pointed out, we may have been over for a long time now, grasping at something that wasn't there anymore, something that couldn't be fixed without a compromise neither of us was willing to live with, but we're still friends. Aren't we? We owe it to each other to be honest and communicate. So I'm here. If you need to talk, I'm here." She said it with all sincerity. While they drifted apart as romantics and lovers, they were always friends. That was how their relationship started out in high school and that was how they were determined to end it. They disagreed about a key aspect of their lives and that caused major issues and it caused fights and anger, but they were still partners, parents, and friends.

"Thank you Haley. We are still friends. And I might just take you up on that offer one day, but not today. I'm fine. Thank you for letting me take Jack out tonight. I'll call tomorrow night and I'll be over early Saturday to help you set up."

"Ok." That was the best she was going to get. "Drive safe."

"I will." He hugged her and kissed her cheek. "Goodnight Haley."

"Goodnight Aaron."

He returned home that night with more to think about. Haley could sense something was wrong with him, but he couldn't admit it. Emily was coming back to work and he'd be forced to confront that. He was absent from his daughter's life, only available in the sometimes capacity of friend, and his son was growing up much too fast. So much had changed in just a few short months; some for the better and some for the worse. A colleague and friend survived something she probably shouldn't have just to drop a bombshell on his life. He learned about a daughter he didn't know he had, created with a woman he knew in passing for years though only had the courage to pursue when he had a buzz in his system and a pain in his heart.

Taking stock of his life, it seemed abysmal. Things were crazy. They were hectic. And they were a complete mess. But they were also so full of possibility. That was what he had to focus on. He was given a chance to have it all. So he was divorced and a little inexperienced in the new age dating protocol and he had two kids with different mothers and he had a job that kept him away more than usually acceptable, that didn't mean he couldn't try to get out there. One chapter ended and he needed to start the next. Haley had. He could too. It would be good for him. Though he didn't know where to start and he wouldn't go actively looking for anyone, he wanted to move forward; with Charlie and Jack and his life. He didn't want to be in this standstill he was living. It was all about moving on: for him, for Emily, for anyone really. But they were going to make it happen in one way or another.

The next day, he was just waiting for the time to pass. After the morning briefing, he held up in his office doing busy work and waiting for Strauss to knock on his door to talk about Prentiss' return. They needed to discuss the when and how aspects of it. Honestly, knowing the tumultuous relationship between those two women, he also wanted to see how she was reacting to the impending return. And he wondered if Emily told the team yet. Dave knew because he told him, but what about the rest of them? He decided to wait until he had an official date and until he knew Strauss had signed off on it, but she could've told them.

It didn't matter. One way or another, they were bound to find out and he'd let that play out naturally. He had more important things to deal with. He met with Strauss just after noon. The woman seemed indifferent to Emily's clearance, which wasn't completely out of character for her, but knowing her attempted mole was coming back should've sparked some sort or response. But it didn't. Whatever. He was given a general time period for her return, within two weeks, and then he was out of there.

His evening was spent running until it got dark. Before heading to the trails for his run, he drove by Emily's house to see if she was home. He was going to drop in and force her to talk to him because every day she didn't, pushed him one step closer to filing those papers and he didn't want that. He didn't want a big messy fight. But when he got to her house, instead of finding the lights on and the car in the driveway, it was dark. So much for that idea. Maybe it was for the best. He knew he was going to see her the next day at Jack's party and he could just corner her there. Where would she run when there was nowhere to go? Thinking of her made him go faster and push harder. It was the only way to safely blow off that steam. And he wanted to get ready for the marathon he wanted to do in the coming months.

Work. Run faster. Haley. Run faster. Charlie. Run faster. Emily. Run faster. He definitely decreased his average time that night. But it felt good. It relaxed him, but things were far from solved. That would require actually working on things. As the sun faded and the air grew colder, Hotch knew it was time to head home. He did enough running for one day. Hopping in his car, he made his way to his apartment, called Jack like he promised, and turned in early.

The next morning, he headed over to Haley's to spend a little time with Jack before aiding Haley and Jessica with the set up. It wasn't a big party. Early on, Hotch and Haley agreed that big parties wouldn't be an every year thing. They did one for his first and fifth, ones that felt big. They would for his tenth too, but mostly, they would do small family parties with just a few friends. That was what was best. That was what they decided together and they planned to stick to it, though they could bend if Jack asked; maybe.

People started showing up at one. Helen was there, which was unexpected because she didn't know if she'd be able to do the long drive, but Sean couldn't make it. They didn't expect him to fly out from New York. He did send a present though and he called. Jack had his cousins there and some kids from school. Dave showed up and Reid. Morgan told him he was going to be late. And there was no missing Penelope Garcia and Kevin as they made their entrance. JJ brought Henry too. Only missing was Emily and Charlie.

When he wasn't looking they showed up. He was setting up the grill when he heard Jack yell her name. "Charlie!" He called and it caused Hotch to instantly turn around. Emily and Charlie were just closing the gate behind them when Jack ran over and Haley followed. It looked like they wished him a happy birthday as he made his to them. Charlie was carrying a present that must've made it impossible to see where she was going. But it made him laugh because he knew that if she was anything like him and Emily, that whether she could see or not, whether it was too heavy or not, she would've been insistent on carrying it. She definitely got their stubborn streak. It was adorable. It was even cuter when Henry came over to them and Jack took the present as Henry grabbed her hand and the three walked away together.

He watched as Emily and Haley talked. It made him a little uncomfortable. He didn't think Emily would say anything, but the threat of it coming out was a little worrisome. It already threw his life for a loop. If she found out he couldn't imagine what that would do, how things would change. So he watched them curiously. They only met a handful of times, but they seemed friendly enough. He wondered what was being said.

Then Emily started to walk away. He could see Charlie run up to her hug her and then run away again before Emily met up with JJ. She didn't stay with her long. Just a few words exchanged and a few nods. He couldn't be sure what was said or even if Emily was really talking since her back was facing him, but he wanted to know. Emily leaned in for a quick hug, waved to the other BAU members, and went back out through the gate. She was leaving! Where was she going? He wanted to talk to her and she was leaving.

He was about to head after her, try to catch up with her before she made it too far, but Haley was already coming his way. "Was that Emily?" He asked, though he knew the answer.

"Yeah, she was just dropping Charlie off."

"She's uh… She's not staying?"

"No, she said that she had some things to do and she'd try to make it back before the party's over, but JJ would look after Charlie so everything should be fine. I wasn't worried though. From what Jack tells me, she seems like a great, well behaved kid."

"Did she… Did she say anything else?"

"No." Her face scrunched as she saw his faraway look. He was just staring at nothing. "Aaron, what's wrong?"

"What?" He was shaken from his gaze. "Oh, nothing's wrong." He cleared his throat. "Grill's set when we're ready. Let me know when you want me to start. I'm going to catch up with the guys." She watched him suspiciously. There was something weighing on him; something heavy. "Hey Dave, JJ."

"Hi Hotch." They answered simultaneously."I just saw Emily leave. Where'd she go?"

"She couldn't stay."

"Is she home?"

"I don't know, maybe."

"Why Aaron? Is there something going on?" Rossi asked.

"No Dave, nothing's going on. I was just hoping to talk to her about work."

"We heard about her clearance. When does she come back? Last time I checked, Emily didn't know." JJ asked.

"We're not sure yet. That's why I wanted to catch her. She wasn't answering her phone Friday."

"Sorry. I can tell her to call you when I drop Charlie off. She might make it back here if she finishes early."

"Ok, thank JJ. I'm going to go make sure Haley doesn't need my help. I'll see you guys later."

"Ok Hotch."

"Aaron." Rossi said with a curt nod.

He tried to busy himself and just enjoy the day like everybody else, but it just wasn't that easy. The plan was to get Emily to talk to him and he couldn't do that if she wasn't there. And it was nagging at him; the little whisper in his ear saying he had to see her that day. He grilled up the burgers and hot dogs. There was still a slight chill in the April air, but the sun was out and it was relatively warm; a nice day to be outdoors. He joined his mother while they ate, catching up with her as the kids played around them.

Jack came up to Helen as Charlie tagged along. He was almost nervous to interact with her. He let her down and he was afraid to see that in her face. "Hi Charlie."

Slightly shyly, she waved and said, "Hi Aaron."

"Are you having fun?"

"Mmhmm. Jack let me play with him and his friends, but they were being mean to me. They said I was too little." His overprotective fatherly instincts were turned up to overdrive. He couldn't allow that. No one messed with his little girl.

"Do you want me to beat them up for you?" He joked.

"No." She sighed. "Jack told them they have to be nice to me or he wouldn't play with them anymore. They don't like me." She was pouting. It looked like she was going to cry. So he sat her on his lap and hugged her, like any father should, and tried to make her feel better.

"It's ok. They just don't like that you're better than they are."

"I don't want to be small. They think I'm a baby."

"You're not a baby. You're so big. They're just older and being mean to you. That's what boys do. You have to stay away from them, especially when you're older."

Her sniffles broke his heart, but she was determined not to cry. "It's ok." He whispered in her ear as he gently rubbed circles on her back. "You're such a big girl, you know that. They're just jealous because you're so perfect and they're not."

"Mommy says nobody's perfect but I come really close, but sometimes she says I am perfect too."

"Well she's right. You're as close to perfect as anyone could be."

With glassy eyes, she looked to him and asked, "How come you didn't come over? Me and mommy were really excited and you didn't come. She told me you were working. Were you working?"

He had to lie to her. He didn't want to, but he had to for his sake and Emily's. The truth would've made him look like garbage and would've made Emily out to be a liar when she was just covering for him. "I was working. I really did want to see you though."

"Will you come over soon? Mommy bought the stuff so we could cook together. She said it was your favorite."

"She did?" He felt like an ass.

"Uh huh. Are you going to come soon?"

"I want to. I'll have to talk to Emily about it."

"I wish mommy was here."

"Me too." He said quietly. "Where is she?"

"She said she couldn't come."

"Why?"

She shrugged. "Mommy told me to tell JJ if I needed her and she'd come get me, but I want her here."

"Is she at home?"

"I think so. I don't know."

"Ok. Are you feeling better?" She nodded into his chest. "Good. Did you finish eating?"

"I ate it all!"

"Then you should go play. Have fun, and if they are mean to you again, you find me and I'll make them stop."

"Ok." She got off his lap and walked over to Jack and Helen. After talking a little, the kids went to play.

"You look good with a little girl in your arms."

"I think it's just that little girl. She's… She's just like her mother."

"Ah yes, she's a looker. Her poor father's going to have to beat the boys away."

"Her father?" He croaked out. He felt like there was a literal frog in his throat.

"Yes, didn't we meet him in New York? The blonde fellow?"

"Clyde is not her father." He said angrily. He couldn't control that.

"Alright, I'm sorry. I wasn't aware. You young kids don't tell us old folk anything. That leaves our minds to wander."

"I'm sorry mom. He just…"

"You're not fond of him."

"No. Not really." He was jealous of him. "We got off to a bad start. It's nothing to be concerned about."

"I'm always concerned about my boys."

"I know." He said as he looked to his children.

"You and Haley seem to be doing ok. And Jack seems unaffected by the divorce."

"We're doing well. Haley and I will always put Jack first, but besides that, we're friends and we want it to stay that way."

"Good for you. I'm proud of you. Both my boys are doing so well for themselves. If only Sean would settle down and give me a few grandbabies, then things would be perfect. Do you plan on having more kids Aaron? I'd like to meet them before I die."

"Mom." He was getting a guilt trip from his mother and she didn't even know how much actual guilt she was adding. "I promise to talk to Sean about settling down."

"And you?" He gave her a, 'me what?' look. "Now that you and Haley are divorced, do you plan on settling down again?"

"We just got divorced."

"But you both saw it coming. You love each other, but you weren't willing to sacrifice for each other. It wasn't going to work. You've practically been divorce for years now. And," she hesitated, "I head she has a new beau."

"I'll let you know when I'm ready to settle down. And if Haley has moved on, that's great for her. I want her to be happy."

"Ok, just remember I would love a few more grandchildren before…"

"Before you pass. I heard you mom. Loud and clear."

"Because I am getting old."

"You don't look it."

"Sweet of you to say, but not at all true. I'm every bit my age and proud of it."

"We were all very happy you could make it out for this. I know you don't like to travel anymore, but Jack was very pleased."

"I couldn't pass up the chance to see my grandson again. With your work schedule, I didn't know when the next time I'd see you would be."

"Well, I'm glad you're here."

"Me too. Now stop talking to your boring old mother and go mingle. There's a hot mother over there that has been staring at you all day."

"I love you mom." He said as he got up. "You're staying with Jack and me tonight right?"

"Yes, I'd love to have a little extra time with my boys."

"Ok." With a few more words exchanged, he started to mingle. The "hot mom" that was ogling him wasn't anywhere near his destination. He just wandered around a bit. He caught up with Morgan and Reid. He saw JJ helping Charlie and Henry get a drink. He looked to his watch. It was quarter of 4. Another hour and they'd do cake and presents. He wondered if he had time. He wondered if it was the right choice.

Making his way into the kitchen, he pretended to look around knowing Haley followed him in. "What are you looking for?"

"I was going to put the candles on the cake. Do you know where they are?"

"In the drawer, where they've always been." He knew that. The figure eight candle and the small box were in his pocket.

"They're not in here. Did you move them?"

"They have to be in there." She rushed over, pushed him aside and furiously began looking. "They're not in here. But I checked last night. How could they not be in here?" She was panicking.

"Hey," he calmed her, "it's ok."

"It's his birthday Aaron. We need candles on his cake."

"I know; which is why I'm going to run to the store right now to pick some up. You stay here and keep everyone under control and I'll go pick up a new box of candles."

"And the number candle. That's the good luck candle."

"I know Haley. I'll get one of those too."

"Ok. Ok, thank you. Go, go do that. I'll handle things here. We can do the cake when you get back."

"I won't take long."

"Go. Hurry."

Was he ashamed he made up an excuse to leave his son's birthday party for a little while? Yes, he was, but it was something that couldn't wait or he wouldn't be able to focus on Jack. And that was what his son deserved; his undivided attention at his party. So he had to take care of things. He slinked out through the front door so no one would see him go. Haley would cover for him. He felt kind of bad, but he did it. As he got in his car, he took the candles out of his pocket so they wouldn't get crushed as he sat, and put them in an old shopping bag on the passenger's seat. His "shopping excursion" was over; on to the real destination.

Carefully driving above speed limit, it didn't take too long for him to arrive at her house. Her car was in the driveway, so she was definitely home. Obviously, her excuse for not being there was just that; an excuse. He slammed the car in park, undid his seatbelt, and made his way to the door. Knocking anxiously, he waited for her to answer.

"I'm coming!" He heard her yell through the door before it was pulled open. "Hotch? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at your son's party?"

"Shouldn't you be there too?" He added sarcastically.

"I have an appointment to get to."

"Do you?"

"Yes, I do."

"I tried calling you."

"I didn't hear the phone ring."

"Not today. I called multiple times over the last few days."

"That's great Hotch. What'd you call to cancel this time? I don't remember any plans, so you can't be here in person to explain why you won't be coming."

"I deserved that." She walked away, moving into the house, but leaving the door open for him to follow if he chose. He vaguely heard a "yeah" as he followed her in. "Talk to me Emily."

"What's there to talk about?"

"I called about work."

"Ok." She waited for more.

"I heard you got clearance from Dr. Lozano."

"I did."

"And you were medically cleared before then."

"I was."

"I signed off on your return."

"I know."

"You know?"

"Yeah, Strauss called me in, lectured me, made it clear that she was keeping an eye on me because my work reflects her as a superior, and told me that both you and she signed off on my return."

"When did she do that?"

"Yesterday."

"What else did she say?" He wasn't privy to that meeting. He saw Strauss and she said nothing. Why wasn't he involved? He thought they'd further discuss it during the week.

"You didn't know?"

"No."

"Great, she was just going to spring me on you and hope everyone was happy about it."

"Why wouldn't they be happy with it? Everyone knows you were cleared."

"Do they even want me back?" She looked for an answer, a comforting one, for her doubt. "Do you?"

"Yes, they all want you back. You are a part of our team. We are a unit. All of us." He paused. "And I… I want you back too." She looked at him skeptically. She may have been avoiding him, but he avoided her first. And yes, that logic seemed childish, but it was what they had. How were they going to work together when they could barely be in a room together?

"Then I'm coming back to work next week."

"That's great." He said genuinely.

"You can go now Hotch. You said what you needed to say. I'll see you at work in time for the briefing Monday morning after I get reinstated and update all my paperwork." Monday?

"There's more I have to say."

"What more could there be?" He spent a nice afternoon with both his kids, celebrating one of the best days of his life eight years later, and, in that moment, all he could see was how much he was messing up. All he could see were the mistakes they were making. He wished he knew how to stop it. "That's what I thought." Irritably, Emily began to walk away. "See yourself out Hotch. I'll see you Monday."

"I need you to listen to me Emily." He needed to get her to hear him. He meant what he was going to say, he just didn't realize to what extent until he saw that Prentiss glare that sent chills through his body. But he had to stop her so she would hear him out. Maybe a little too roughly, he grabbed her arm and pulled her toward him. "All I've thought about since I found out about her was what I've missed. I thought about the memories I have with Jack that I'll never get the chance to have with her. But this really isn't about me. It's about her. And I want to be there. Instead of focusing on what could have been and what can never happen, I need to think of the future. Of all the memories we can make and things we can do… all the father daughter firsts we can share. I want to be there when she gets an A on an assignment or at her recital to cheer her on. And I want to threaten her dates when she's older and, hopefully, scare them away without having to kill them. I want that. I want it all. I want her to know me, to be a family with me and Jack. All of us… I am her father, and as hard as it was to come to terms with, I don't care about what I've missed. It's about what we have now. And I have more than I can ask for; more than I ever imagined having. I'll never give that up. I've been avoiding this. You have too, but I'm stopping now. We can create a schedule, like a custody arrangement, just less formal, and I'll stick to it the best I can. I'll be there whenever I can, however I can; as long as she wants me. I'm sorry to you and to her, but just let me be her dad." He gauged her reaction, but all she did was look at him with these unreadable glassy eyes as she waited for more. "Sometimes I'm not going to be there. Work's going to come up. That's a fact for me and you. But let me be her dad. Let me be the dad I know I am."

She understood why he did it. He didn't show up because of her, and she couldn't fault him for not wanting to be around her. She didn't really want to be around him all the time either. She couldn't withhold her daughter because of something between them, but she couldn't let him hurt their daughter because of her either. "Don't do it again." She finally spoke. "If you say you're going to be there, be there. Don't let me down. Don't make me regret this. She, she likes you Hotch. She likes having you around. She smiles when she knows you're coming over and she talks about you when you leave. But it was only a couple of weeks and you were already doing what we both agreed you wouldn't. So this is it. Be there, do what you can to be there and keep her happy, and we'll all be happy."

"Good. Thank you. Now come back with me to the party. Charlie wants you there. Jack wants you there. The team wants you there. And I want you there too."

"Why exactly, or no, how aren't you there? You're the birthday boy's father. You would be missed."

"I needed to pick up candles." He didn't buy the way he said it either.

"Right, what did you do, steal them so you could 'run to the store'?"

"What? No."

"Oh my god, you did."

"Don't judge me. You're the one that didn't stay and I needed to talk to you today."

"I'm not judging…" She laughed. "I just never realized what a crazy person you are."

"I'm not crazy." He insisted as Emily led them to the door.

"Sure you're not."

"I'm not."

"Goodbye Hotch."

"Are you coming?"

"Yes." She nodded.

"Now?"

"I'll be there soon."

He looked to her to see if it was true, but he detected no dishonesty. "Ok, I'll see you there."

"See you there."

Unsrunching his disbelieving eyes, he said, "Ok." He left her there, standing at the door, looking back only once before driving off.

She didn't know what she was getting herself into. She didn't know why or how they ended up where they were, but, at least they were talking again. They both needed to learn, like the other problems in their lives, to just approach each other head on. Avoidance was just making their situation worse and Charlie was suffering the most because of it. But there was no time to dwell. She had a party to get to.

About ten minutes after he left, she followed. She didn't think people would get any ideas. But why take the chance? Why add suspicion by showing up together? And suspicion was a hard thing to avoid in front of elite profilers. Plus, she was sure JJ sill had a few ideas in her head and Emily didn't want to sway her in their direction by the mere "coincidence" of their concurrent arrival. When she got there, he was in the house lighting the candles and he didn't see her come in.

He spotted her when they brought out the cake. As the kids surrounded them and they sang _Happy Birthday_, he saw her as she joined in. She must've immediately gone to her friends rather than mingling. Charlie was with her too as they gathered around. Amidst the final notes, they caught each other's eye. Exchanging a simple smile to acknowledge the other's presence; maybe as a little thank you for the second chance too. It was just polite, cordial… everything they weren't just an hour before.

So much could change in an hour. A war could start. People could die. Lives could be altered. A seemingly happy life could be destroyed by a simple diagnosis. Couples could be married. Babies could be made. Resolutions could be found. So many things could happen. Lives change. And for them, it wasn't a drastic change. Truth was, they had that talk before and they were sure they'd have it again, but right then, they were on good terms and that was what they focused on. He wanted to be there. She wanted him there. That was what they saw. That was what an hour gave them. It gave them back the sense of moving instead of regressing. It gave them more clarity.

Their staring broke when the clapping started. The flames were blown and Haley was slicing the cake. The kids were all already bouncing around on a sugar high. Haley seemed intent on sending them home with every ounce of candy they could fit in their tiny bodies. There was even some in their goodie bags. Once the children were settled with cake and everyone else seemed to be taken care of, he saw that Emily was standing off a little away from the crowd, cakeless, he decided to bring her some.

"Here." He held out the plate in front of an unsuspecting Emily.

She smiled and accepted it. "Thank you."

"Having fun?"

"JJ left me for some chocolate. Charlie left me for Jack. Here I am, all alone. It kind of feels like I'm the awkward kid again. You know, the one that no one wants to play with and pushes aside when something better comes along." He laughed as she joked. "It's not funny."

"It is. Just eat the cake. It's chocolate."

Taking a bite, she muttered, "Thank you."

"Enjoy." He said and left as quickly and quietly as he came. He surprised her sometimes. He had this ability to do something so sweet without even realizing it, but he also had this ability like no other to just infuriate her beyond belief.

Presents went well. It was the first year there were none of the younger kids there tried to open his presents for him. Jack was delighted. He got things that he wanted and others he didn't even know to want. Overall, they'd call the day a success on more than one level. The best part about it was the continuous happiness of day with both his kids. There were a few downs. Charlie was picked on and she had a moment, but, selfishly, he relished in it because Hotch was the one to comfort her. So it was a good day. And, since he talked to Emily, he felt a little weight lifted off his heavy body.

Unfortunately, he didn't get a chance to say goodbye to Charlie or Emily. By the time he realized people were starting to leave and made his way over to the group, Emily and Charlie were already gone. Apparently, according to JJ, they said goodbye to Jack and then left because Emily actually had something she needed to do. He thought it was just an excuse and he was hoping that wasn't another one to avoid him. It wasn't.

"Thanks for inviting us Hotch. Henry had a good time."

"Us too." Reid added for the group.

"It was great to see mini G man in his natural habitat. He's so old now! And too cute."

"Well I know he was happy to see you too."

They talked for a little while. They hadn't really had a chance to catch up that day, so they took the time to do it then. He told them that Emily would be back Monday. It seemed better to tell them ahead of time even though he wasn't planning on it. Everyone was thrilled. They thought it would take longer, so to hear she'd be there when the weekend was over made them happy.

"Alright Hotch. I'm out. Got a date tonight. Tell Jack I said happy birthday and I'll see you at work. No cases this weekend."

"Oh, I have a date too. Kevin and I have plans for… well we have plans of a romantic nature. Bye Hotch."

With them gone, he helped Haley clear out some of the snack bowls and pick up some of the garbage left lying around as they waited for the rest of the guests to dwindle. Clean up wasn't the fun part, but the day was worth it. Taking the balloons down and folding up tables; it was all part of the mundane things of family life. Sometimes he missed not having that when he came home from a case or wherever, but he got over it. He had to. And he had a whole new set of things to miss with a whole new set of people.

"I think that's the last of them. Everyone's gone and Jack's getting ready for bed." Haley interrupted his thought process.

"What?" He was still a little spacey.

"Your mother's helping Jack get ready for bed. Playing with everyone all day wore him out and I think he's crashing from the sugar."

"I'll help him set up a few of those toys tonight."

"That would be great. You know I'm dangerous with power tools."

"I know. Are you sure you're ok with my mother and me staying here tonight?"

"Of course Aaron. She's still my family. The guest room's still set up and you said you don't mind sleeping on the bottom bunk in Jack's room."

"It's just one night. He thinks it's a sleep over."

"Yeah, he wants to stay up playing all night, but he'll be out early tonight."

"Yeah." He became quiet as he went deep into his thoughts again. Haley just watched, unsure what was happening.

"Aaron, I tried to ignore it, I've asked you about it before, but now I can't accept the non answers you've been giving me."

"What are you talking about?"

"You've been here all day… physically. And mentally too… most of the time. But sometimes, you just looked like you were a million miles away. What is it Aaron? Is it a case? Did something happen?"

"It's nothing Haley; nothing to be concerned about. There are no cases right now. I just have a lot on my mind."

"That's not it. You always have a lot on your mind, but it has rarely ever made you any less present with Jack. And I'm not saying you're not there for him now, but there's something and I think I've earned the right to know. You said you'd come to me if you needed. Well, now I'm telling you, you need to."

"You're right, there's something." She waited. He still looked off into the darkening sky, but she waited until he finally turned to her and said, "Haley, we need to talk."

**I just wanted to put out a general thank you for all of your patience and understanding. I've been sick, but I'm doing better. I can't promise to update every week or every two weeks like I wish I could, but I will do my best to try. As a thank you, I'm offering a short one shot to the 200****th**** reviewer. It's an accomplishment for me and a thank you for all of you readers. I've never written one and I don't know how it will turn out, but I'm going to try a short little thing. I'll PM whoever it is (if you have an account) and ask what you wish me to write about. **

**Wiggle34**** I love the intense chapters and the more intense, the better. Stick around, there's more of that to come. And I know it's taking forever, but I want them to be together too. They just strike me as two people have been hurt in love and life and would be hesitant to start something with so much drama already. It's a process.**

**Cinnamonfa**** I love Clyde too! He doesn't always have to be made into the bad guy. Hotch is trying to take command of the situation. He's finally starting to be him again. Love the long chapters. I find I'm incapable of writing anything in the low thousands for this story, but hey, more to read right?**

**inheritancedrottningu**** Thank you. Those are both such great compliments. I'm honored this story is dubbed amongst the best Hotch Prentiss stories in your mind. It means a lot. **

**SouthunLady**** Here's another surprise! I updated. Sorry it kept you from sleep, but glad it's capable of having that kind of hold. Emily and Hotch are a very push and pull kind of couple in this story, because they're only just trying to figure things out and they don't know what exactly they're feeling. (I love the angst). They have their childish moments amongst the maturity. And Aaron will be introduced to Charlie as her father, I have it all planned out in my head, the chapter for that to happen just hasn't appeared yet. Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts, I'm doing much better now. **

**greengirl82**** I'm glad my work can bring you some joy and brighten your day. I love the long chapters too. They make me feel like the wait wasn't for nothing. I think they both have a lot to make up for. While Emily's intentions were pure of heart, she did keep a kind from her father and Hotch is just making a mess of a messy situation, but they're working on it. If Clyde found out about those papers or thought he was wronging **_**his women**_** in anyway, I have no doubt he'd put those spy skills to good use. Oh, and congrats on your nomination. I loved Noises. I found it after it was completed and thought it was hilarious. **

**Celina79**** Hotch is making an effort. They both are. And I don't consider Clyde a threat. He's protective and loving, and there, but he also knows their time is over. I haven't really explored the Clyde/Emily past too much, but he just wants what's best for Emily. I hope this chapter showed that. Hotch/Emily is my favorite pairing ever. If there should be one on the show, it'd be them. That should tell you what the future of the story holds. **

**dcatt**** Hotch is a lawyer. That was how he started out. Even if he didn't pursue it, it felt in character for him to at least have them on standby should things go wrong. I'm sorry that my delays are forcing you to learn patience but it truly is a virtue. Hope this chapter makes up for my absence. **

**123a456e**** People would hate him if he went through with the papers. Then everything would be out there and some of them already have their own notions about Charlie's father. He'd kind of be proving them right. I really, really miss Emily on CM too. It's so not the same without her. Blake is ok, but I find it hard to pay attention to her. She feels like the replacement. I'm trying to give it time, but I still watch for the other characters. I didn't take too long right? It wasn't months and I'm doing well now, so thank you for the patience. **

**HPforever-after**** That was one of my favorite lines because it was true. A situation that hadn't actually happened forces characters to be out of character. That weirdness was one of those moments and Emily made sure to tell him that he needed to pull himself together. People have the ability to make others do things they normally wouldn't. I don't think it will come to sides with Hotch and Clyde. I wonder if you feel the same after reading this chapter. I think Clyde just wants to make sure they're taken care of and he wants to make sure Hotch is worthy. There is some jealousy though (for his relationship with both the Prentiss girls).**

**CalleighJ**** I know you didn't review for the last chapter, but I thought I'd respond anyway. I'm happy my story had such an effect and I hope you continue to get chills. **

**HGRHfan35**** It was a monster chapter! Believe me, my ass was hurting too. It was over 40 pages of writing and reading and editing. An hour's not bad time. There was a lot to read. Smashing their heads and yelling seems like a feasible idea. (Do you think Clyde kind of did that this chapter? In his own way of course.) Fighting parents is sad, but I think Charlie has been shielded from that as much as she could and knowing that some arguments is healthy is a good lesson for kids. (I think, what do I know?) And thank you for wishing me well. I really appreciate all the patience. **

**Emilyhotchnerforever**** of course Charlie's alright. She's good as new. And Clyde is a sweetheart. I love him. NY will rear its head around again; definitely more than nothing. PM is private message. If you go to an author's page there's a PM button and it allows to send the message. I miss Emily on the show too. It's not the same. Right now, I don't think she's on any other shows. She does Thrilling Adventure Hour, which I love. It's a podcast recorded from live shows. She's hilarious in that. Jack is a little cutie. I like Clyde and Emily too, but I think they're best as close friends. Main focus is Hotch and Em. We saw Sean's reaction. The others' will happen too. And thank you for the patience. I'm back and doing well.**

**leahloahla**** I'm feeling much better so thank you for the patience. Chapter 24 was a long one so I hoped it tied people over while I recovered. **

**lizard84**** Thank you for understanding. I'm doing better now and I hope you enjoyed this new chapter.**

**TombRaider7**** I'm happy you like this story and I hope you continue to enjoy it. also, thank you for the understanding and hopefully future updates will be timelier. No more issues (I hope).**

**Rugbygirrl**** That was an epic chapter. I loved writing it. Charlie's better, Hotch and Emily are trying to get their acts together, and yes, the new chapter brings us into April. Thank you for wishing me well and I hope things start to look up too. **

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**


	26. Holmes' Hijinks Quarantine

_I do not own Criminal Minds, only the characters I have created in that world._

**Good news first. I've got a clean bill of health. So, besides the cold I'm currently fighting, because, well, I could never be just completely normal, I'm relatively healthy. Bad news is, this chapter kicked my butt, took names, and then kicked it harder… But, after staring at all 16000+ words for two weeks, trying to get it right, I figured I had to just upload or drive myself crazy. It still feels… I don't know, not right but I hope it doesn't' disappoint. I'm my harshest critic. Also, I took some creative license on this chapter. I did the research, but the made up stuff seemed more fun. So we'll go with the semi-realistic feel. You'll understand after reading. (Maybe).**

Chapter 26: Holmes' Hijinks Quarantine

Monday morning came too quickly for the BAU team. But they were all happy to be getting Emily back, so that made the start of the work week funk a little more bearable. Garcia even baked cupcakes. Emily insisted there be no party like the bubbly blonde wanted, but there was no doubt in her mind that Garcia would make some sort of fuss. She was returning, essentially, from a medical leave that acted as her suspension. They could celebrate her return, but they didn't need to be reminded of the reasons for the absence. They weren't clear on the details either. Was she on full duty? Desk duty? They weren't sure, but they'd take her in whatever capacity she was offered.

Emily was actually struggling with the decision to go back, which was surprising for her. While she was bored at home and craved the action and intensity, not to mention the company, her work provided, she was also a little nervous. It wasn't the possible danger or the threat of injury. She could deal with that; mostly. It was more about letting her friends, her family, down. She didn't want to fail them, especially not in the field where she could potentially get them killed. And she still held some self doubt. She questioned whether they all truly forgiven her and trusted her. On occasion, she questioned her abilities as well. Maybe she wasn't ready to be back. What if she let them down? What would happen then? And what would happen if she got one of them hurt? Or worse…

Maybe she wasn't ready. Maybe she needed more time. Maybe she should never go back… She felt a panic attack coming on. Her chest was tight, her body heavy, and her breaths were shallow and rapid. It wasn't the first one she had since the night she left the hospital, and it wasn't the worst, but the timing wasn't ideal. She couldn't have that happen at work. Sure, Claire gave her techniques to deal with it, and she could, but was it enough? She was really considering whether her return was a good idea. Maybe it was time to permanently retire from the FBI world. But she loved it so much… How could she just give up in something she loved?

Emily wasn't the only one having doubts tough. Charlie didn't want her to go back either. She really wasn't ready for mommy to start traveling again. The way she saw it, the last time Emily was really at work, she ended up sleeping for a long time and that took her away from her. She didn't want that again. She didn't want mommy to go away and she loved having her around all the time. It was nice. She never knew any different before. Her mom always seemed to be there and, while she missed her when she was gone, she knew she'd always come back. But after everything, she was questioning that. What if mommy didn't come back? That possibility felt very real. And in her little five year old brain, it wasn't quite so rational and logical, it was just the scary thought that the one person she loved more than anything, who had been with her through everything, who had done everything for her, could be taken from her. Because of that, she didn't want her to go back, but it made mommy happy to work. And she liked seeing mommy happy.

"Are you sure you have to go to work mommy? You could stay home forever. I can stay too!"

"We talked about this Charlie. Mommy's going back to work today."

"But I don't want you to." She sulked, adorably so.

"I know baby. I know…" And she did know. She was scared too. "Nothing will be different." She wouldn't promise. She knew better than to promise that.

"But you won't be home all the time anymore."

"No, I won't. I'll be at work with everyone while you're at school."

"Will you still come get me after school?"

"Sometimes."

"I like when you pick me up."

"I do too." She assured her.

"Then why can't you always do it?"

"Well, when I go back to work, I don't get out until after you're already home, but sometimes I'll get out early and I'll surprise you just like I used to."

"Sometimes you'll have to go away again, right?"

"Sometimes I will go away on cases, and you'll stay here with Sarah. And Will said that on weekends that he doesn't work, you can stay with him and Henry if you'd like."

"But what if you get hurt again?" Emily's heart was about to burst. Her kid just had a natural ability to do that.

"I'm going to try really hard not to let that happen because, more than anything, when I'm away, I just want to come home to you."

"And I want you home…" She said with a pouty face.

"I promise you that I will do everything I can to always come home to you."

"I know mommy. But don't let the bad guys hurt you like last time. It made me really sad and we couldn't play together anymore. I didn't like it."

"Can I tell you a secret?" Charlie nodded. "I didn't like it either."

"Mommy?"

"Yeah Charlie?"

"I love you." She said, jumping from her seat and into her mother's more than welcoming arms.

"I love you too Charlie Bear. More than you'll ever know."

Pulling away from Emily, Charlie searched for her mother's eyes. "Mommy, do you like working?"

"I do."

"More than being with me?"

"No. There's nothing I like more than being with you. You know that."

"Going to work makes you happy?"

"Most of the time. Why?" Emily asked curiously.

"I want you to be happy mommy."

"I want you to be happy too."

"You can go to work, but you have to be really, really careful. Promise?"

Laughing, Emily responded, "Promise."

It was a weird start to a Monday that only got weirder, but it was a good one too. She didn't need Charlie's permission, but it sure made her feel a lot better to know her daughter was ok with it all. She didn't think she could do it otherwise, because, first and foremost, her daughter's peace of mind and well being took precedence; even if that meant a parting of ways with the BAU. It would pain her, but it would relieve her at the same time. As confusing as that was, it made sense to her.

"You ready?" Emily asked as she cleared the breakfast dishes.

"Uh huh." Charlie answered, finishing the last of her juice.

"Go get your bag and sweater. It's time for school." And it was time for work. She really hoped the day went better than her morning. Panic attacks, upset children… It was going to be a long, interesting day.

The ride in felt different. After dropping Charlie off at school, she drove on the familiar roads, but it felt different. It wasn't the first time she had been to the FBI building since Doyle. It wasn't even the second. Hell, she had been going two to three times a week for some time. And still, it felt different. Maybe it was because it was the first time she'd be staying, the first time she'd actually be working in months. Or maybe it was simply because so much had changed. A lot really had changed…

She got there early. That wasn't unusual, but for her first day back, she just wanted a few minutes to herself to get reacquainted with the building she once spent so much time in that it felt a little like a second home; a building that did give her a family. It felt good to be back though. Stepping out into the employee lot, breathing in the, somehow very distinct, FBI air was refreshing. It felt like she was supposed to be there even if she wasn't sure she belonged. But, she reminded herself, that maybe, it was the only place she did belong; the only place people understood her and accepted her just as she was.

Knowing that didn't make her feel completely at ease, though, and that was why she needed a little time there without the pressure of meeting with Hotch or being happy at whatever soiree Garcia was throwing. She just needed to find her rhythm again. It was just the first day. It was ok to feel a little out of sorts. It was expected even, but she wouldn't let it show. Once she was in the company of others, all doubts had to be stowed away or they'd just fuel the doubts of others.

The familiar sounds and smells in all their glory made her a little more comfortable. On a normal day, if she didn't have too much paperwork she needed to finish, she'd head to the gym or get a head start looking over the new files on her desk. Then they'd have the briefing to go over any pressing cases. Sometimes that meant being called away, but, more often, it was more about coming to a consensus with their profiles before they were sent to the different stations around the country.

That was what she anticipated for her first day. It was so far from what she got… What she did get, she wasn't expecting at all.

Instead of starting with her self-reflecting, office reacquainting, peace, she was met with Morgan and Rossi. As she took a seat at her desk and started unloading all the files she had from her bag, they walked in. She should've anticipated they'd all show up early too. "Look who it is." Morgan joked.

"Hi Morgan."

"Hey Princess." He greeted her with a hug.

Releasing Morgan, she moved to hug Dave. "It's good to see you back here." He said.

"It's good to be back."

"Baby girl's going to be upset she didn't beat you here. She was so sure you'd be in a little later today. Said she hacked the system and everything to see what time yo were due back."

"Yeah, well, not everything's in the system."

"What are you doing here so early anyway?"

"I have a meeting with HR. Have to update some papers and get a new badge. What do you think?" She posed. "Camera ready?"

"Hot mama." Morgan said. Dave kindly agreed, making it clear he would've chosen a more eloquent way of saying it.

"You look good. Like you again."

"Thank you, both of you."

"Ah, crap." Morgan said as he looked at his watch. "I have to meet Penelope to help her out. Try to act semi surprised. It's good to have you back." Kissing her on her cheek, he quickly left her and Dave alone.

"I'm glad we have a minute just the two of us."

"Yeah, why's that Rossi?"

"I wanted to talk with you."

"About what?" She was a little nervous.

"We've talked and I know I've asked before, but I've never really checked in with you. How are you doing Emily?"

"You ask me that all the time Dave." She laughed, playing it off like it was nothing, but she could see the real concern on his face.

"But now I'm asking how you're doing, both physically and mentally."

"I'm doing well. I'm ready to be back at work, all my doctors agree, and I feel ready. I wouldn't be here if I didn't believe that."

"I know, but I still had to ask."

"I would never do anything to put this team in jeopardy; not again, not if I can help it." She felt the need to defend herself once again. Even if they weren't attacking her, she was attacking herself and so she had to defend herself too. "Trust that." Although only to herself, she added, "Even if you don't trust me…"

"We all understand why you did what you did. We would've done it too if it was for someone we loved."

"Somehow, I don't think that's true. I'm sure you guys would've handled things better, and I wish I did too, but I'm here now and that's what matters."

Rossi leaned in a little closer, edging more toward the edge of the desk he was resting on. "And what about the panic attacks? Had anymore of those?"

Looking around her first, Emily answered, "No, no none of those." Not in a while, and hopefully not ever, though they might rear their ugly head again. That morning didn't count; she stopped it before it really began and it was just a momentary lapse. It just didn't count. "I'm ready to be here. I really am, and I appreciate everything everyone has done for me. I wouldn't be here without all of you and you have no idea how much it means to know I can count on you. So please, for my sake, let's forget that ever happened."

"How about we don't forget, and instead, we just move on? We're all happy you're here; not just back at work, but here. We love you Emily and we just want you safe."

"I know Dave. I appreciate it."

He held out an arm for her to take, "Let me walk you to HR?"

"Sure. Thanks Dave. And thank you for just… Thank you."

"Don't mention it."

It took her an hour to get affairs in order, so to speak. She signed this, updated that, sat for a quick photo. And after telling her that everything was set, the not so happy man behind the desk told her the new badge wouldn't be ready until the end of the day. Until then, she had to deal with a temporary badge that came with its own set of security issues; new protocols and all. But it was a hassle she'd willingly endure. She was back. She had to keep repeating that to herself. It almost felt a little unreal.

For months she was homebound and then limitedly mobile. And then she had a little work at home thing going on, but she missed actually being in the throes of it. But being there, being back, was different in an unexpected way. Since early on, after a few moments where she really had to consider if the BAU was for her, she found her place. She found a mold she fit into with those people and, after years on the job, she was questioning her place. Yet, even with all the self doubt, it felt good to be there.

She made her way back up to the offices. It took a little longer. Temporary badges really were a bitch. But making her way through the bullpen and having Garcia, "stealthily" lead her to the conference room. Hearing the happy calls of "Welcome back" made her feel right again. Sharing the moment of her return, truly being part of her team again, that was what made the doubt start to fade. There was still work to be done and she hadn't been tested in the field, but it felt like the first hurdle was cleared and it was onto higher jumps.

On the table was a colorful arrangement of cupcakes each with a neatly written Garcia letters spelling _Welcome Back Emily._ Leave it to Garcia to do the one thing she didn't want and make her happy it happened. She was sure there'd be times in the future where the questions would come into play and the past would be brought up, but then, it was all about celebrating with her family. The small chit chat about what she missed around the office, the latest water cooler gossip… It was all music to her ears.

"I know this has been fun." Hotch interrupted. "It's safe to say we are all grateful to see you here again, back on your feet, but we all have work to do, and Emily," he waited for her full attention, "I'd like a word with you in my office."

"Sure Hotch. I'll be right there."

As she steeled herself, unsure what was to come, she excused herself from the party. She'd apologize for bailing on the cleanup and silently thank Hotch for that later. She shook off the nerves. The cat calls and teasing, the "Just back and already in trouble" from Morgan, and the adorable obliviousness that was Reid… She knew she was home. She hoped the feeling stayed. Working with Hotch after everything was going to be a challenge, but whatever happened in his office was the first test.

"You wanted to speak with me sir?"

"Sit down Emily." He said it in such a nice demanding way; it almost didn't seem like a boss' command. And then he smiled. "Everyone said it, but we're happy to have you back."

"I'm happy to be back."

"Dr. Lozano gave me these." He held up her file.

"What exactly is that?"

"Her findings. Everything said in your sessions is to remain private unless you give permission that says otherwise, but when an agent is sent to therapy for whatever reasons, a report is given to the agent's superior once they're cleared."

"What does it say?" She was curious and anxious. There was a lot she didn't want him to know; so much she hoped remained away from him and the others.

"In short, it says that you're ready to be back."

"But what does it say?"

"It says, 'Confident in her ability to return, made strides to normalize her life as well as her daughter's, reconnected with mother…" He gave her a skeptical look. He knew their relationship. Emily and her mother were just two people who didn't always get along.

"What? It's true. Mother has been very understanding and she loves Charlie. That's where we _reconnected_." She used the word loosely.

Accepting the answer, he continued. "Doing her best to move on from incident, reclaiming her life, mending friendships, and thinking about getting a dog… Thinking about getting a dog?"

"What can I say? Charlie knows how to grate on you until you give in to what she wants."

"She wants a dog?"

"She hasn't stop asking since she met Clooney. I tried to convince her to want a cat because they're easier to take care of when I'm away, but her little heart is set on a dog. It's not going to happen."

He smiled. He really did love hearing about Charlie. "What kind of dog?"

"Hotch… Aaron… As much as I love talking to you about our daughter, we really should focus on this so I can get back to work."

"You're right." He didn't want her to be, but she was. "Is there anything you want to discuss? Anything you think we need to go over?"

"No, I think we covered it all. Dr. Lozano seemed to tell you everything you needed to know." She guessed. Was all that really necessary? "And, like I said, I'm ready to be back. I went through the physical therapy. I kicked by own butt into shape, and I even talked it out with a stranger. I did my part."

"You did." He agreed. If anything, she surprised him. They were a lot alike, and therapy wasn't in their realm of normal, but she did it. She proved him wrong.

"So that's it? We're done here?" She stood.

"Please Emily, sit."

"Ok." She took her seat again. What else was there?

"You've come along away. We've all seen you go through this amazing recovery and we've seen the pain you overcame and the internal struggles you tried to hide." She tried to intercede, to defend herself, but he just went on. "And we've seen you strive. Now you're back, and everything seems ok. You're going to go weeks... months even, feeling fine. Then you're going to have a bad day. Just let me know when you do." Hotch said as he welcomed her back into the team. They were both determined to be ok; to make the whole situation ok. So the hug wasn't too awkward. "And when you do have one, I'll be here to talk, to hear you out, or to just keep you company if that's what you need. You have a support system Emily. Use it."

"I… I will." She was slightly unsure of what to do next. Did she leave? Was he finished? Why was she feeling all warm and fuzzy?

"Emily."

"Yeah Hotch?"

"I know things are still…" He made a hand gesture that didn't quite convey the words. He didn't know the right word either.

"Complicated?"

"Right, things are complicated between us, but I think we can agree to leave that outside the office."

"I think that's best. We can deal with our issues in our own time. Here, we are just profilers, not co parents."

"I'm glad you feel the same."

"Me too." She stood from her seat once more and made her way to the door. Before she got there, however, a loud beeping sounded through the room. The beeps, much like that of an alarm, were accompanied by flashing lights in the distance, seen only through the slightly pulled blinds.

"What the hell is that?" Asked Emily, somewhat worried.

"I… I'm not sure."

"Not sure? How can you be not sure?" They both looked to each other before moving to the door to find out what was going on outside that room. They had to know what was happening. Unfortunately, the building had other ideas for them. When Emily reached for the handle, it wouldn't turn. She jiggled and jiggled the knob but it barely moved. "It's not opening." She said with panic. Being back and talking to him; that was all fine. But the idea of being locked in a room with him, forced to talk and confront the situation made her feel claustrophobic.

"What? What do you mean?" Pushing her out of the way, he took her spot and repeated her actions to the same conclusion.

"Because I didn't try that…" She just watched him try again, turning left and right still not getting it to budge. "Do you believe me now?"

He just gave her a look and said, "I just had to see for myself. It was never about believing you." It seemed to be a bit of a double entendre, like an answer for more than one question. But that was his answer as he continued to fondle with the door handle and the alarm blared through the building.

It was affecting everyone. Just down the hall were three other BAU members being locked in a room. Morgan, Reid, and Rossi were all on clean up duty. JJ and Garcia left a few minutes earlier to bring some things down to the bat cave. That left them with the grunt work since Hotch stole Emily away and ended the party early. They were in the middle of putting away the last few leftovers when the noise alerted them. They all stopped, freezing in their respective locations, and looked around. "What is that?"

"Is that the new system they installed?"

"What's going on?" They put down what they had in their hands and started to make their way across the room to the door, but they weren't fast enough. The glass doors were shutting by themselves. By the time they got there, the locks clicked and they were stuck.

"Looks like we're staying a while." Dave joked. "Better get comfortable."

"Man, what the hell is this? What kind of security system just locks us into rooms? What if a man has to use the bathroom?"

"Well, a majority of people can hold it for…."

"There's a statistic for that?"

"There are basic numbers for everything Morgan. It's all a matter of calculation. Some just aren't conclusive."

"Alright boy genius. If we're going to be stuck in here for God knows how long, I don't want a math lesson. Does anyone know what's going on? I have no signal on my phone. Can't make any calls."

"They'll tell us sooner or later. For now, you might as well find a spot and get comfortable. We'll be here a while."

"You know, this could be…" Reid went on spouting some of his crazier ideas.

JJ and Garcia were stuck too, though, their commodities were a bit better. "At least we got stuck in here with my babies. We have internet access, games, movies; the whole nine yards. I wonder where everyone else is stuck. Do you think this is serious? Oh my God, are we going to die? I can't die yet. I'm not ready for that."

"Relax Garcia. I'm sure it's nothing. Maybe it's a practice run for the real thing like the routine drills they do every so often. I don't know. Can't you hack into something and find out?"

"I can try."

Before Garcia could do anything, maybe five minutes into the alarm, a robotic voice came over the sound system. "This is an emergency. Please remain calm and stay where you are until assistance can arrive. This is an emergency. Please…" The voice went on repeat for several minutes. It wasn't a fire. That much was clear. What kind of emergency required them to be locked in? Was it a bomb threat? Anthrax scare? They knew how bad those could be. Reid almost died the last time they faced that.

"Well, that was informative." JJ said sarcastically.

"What do you think it is? Should I still look? Maybe we're better off not knowing. I need my pandas. Where are my baby pandas?"

"Relax, please. We're not going anywhere, not right now anyway. Let's just make the most of it."

"How are you so calm?"

"One of us has to be, and, until we know otherwise, I'm treating this like a fire drill. It's meant to be taken seriously, but there's no actual danger. I mean, someone would tell us if there was a real threat."

"Would they? Would they Jayje? We couldn't even tell our families when there was the looming threat of death by Anthrax and a potential terrorist attack. What would make this different?" That was not a comforting thing to say or think.

"You're right, but we still shouldn't panic."

"Well, I'm panicking." She said all flustered countless scenarios, all bad, running through her head. "JJ, I'm panicking! Do something. Distract me. Don't just sit there."

"Do you want to see a picture I took of the kids?" JJ pulled out her phone. What better distraction than adorable little faces?

"Yes! Do it. Show me now." JJ did as told knowing how Garcia could get.

Truth was that they were all a little panicked. They didn't know what was going on or what could possibly be happening to them. And, with their line of work, there were a lot of options to ponder. It was just that they were all better at not showing that hint of fear than Garcia was. She wasn't trained to be a drone. She just was who she was and that was ok. That was something they loved about her. And JJ, though used to it, would have to adjust to being stuck with the team worry wart for an unspecified amount of time while dealing with her own fear. Each and every one of them would be stuck somewhere, with people they knew and didn't know at all. It was their time to talk about things they normally wouldn't or just never found the right time to bring up.

Back in Hotch's office, he and Emily were just sitting there. Emily was lounged on the sofa and Hotch was uncharacteristically slouched in his chair. The alarm noises had stopped shortly after the voice told them it was an emergency, and, since then, they remained in silence. It seemed to be a running theme for them. There was so much that could've been said or should've been said, but they always chose to say nothing.

"So…" Emily said as she watched him play with his phone. "Any word yet?"

"No. Just a jammed signal and a dying battery."

"Dying battery huh? That doesn't sound like the Aaron Hotchner I know."

"I stayed the weekend at Haley's. My charger was at home and I figured I'd be able to use the one I had at the office."

"You stayed at Haley's?" She didn't know why that seemed to bother her. It made no sense. It definitely shouldn't have had any effect on her whatsoever. But she was feeling something. Jealousy? No, no it couldn't be that. "How was that?"

The question made him shift. Did he tell her about the conversation he had with Haley? "Fine."

"Good." They didn't understand why it was so difficult to just talk. At one point, though only in a colleague/friend capacity, they were so good at it. Conversation once seemed so natural between them. But things had changed.

"Today was supposed to be an easy first day back." Emily said after the boredom of counting ceiling tiles got to her.

"What's so hard about sitting around doing nothing?"

Maybe it wasn't the nothing she was doing, but the one she was doing nothing with. "It was supposed to be an easy day. I'd come in, fill out some papers, work on a few files, and, if luck was really on my side, I'd get out in time to pick up Charlie from school. I wanted to show her things wouldn't be too different; that I wasn't going anywhere…" He knew, at some point, that she was more talking to get it out than talking to him directly, but he wanted to hear it.

"What do you mean?"

She moved herself into an upright position, more like the professional she was. "She's scared that I'm not coming home. Once in a while, I just want to be able to get her from school and take her to dance. I just want her to know that I'm still here; that being at work won't make me absent. I don't even think that's the problem. She's just…"

"She's scared that you're going to get hurt again." He finished for her. He felt that too, and, if he was a betting man, he'd wager the rest of the team would feel that way for the first few cases.

"Damn it," she huffed and threw herself back into the couch, "I'm actually going to have to buy her a dog. You know, that is if we don't die of some airborne disease flowing through the vents right now." Her head popped back up. "You don't think that's what's happening, right?"

"No," he laughed, "I don't think that's what's happening. I'm sure it's nothing."

"Yeah… Yeah, me too. It's probably nothing." They settled in, unsure how long they day would be, and got comfortable.

That seemed to be a running theme throughout the building. There were agents stuck on every floor slowly being evacuated. There were issues being dealt with, both involving the lockdown, and the people stuck inside. All they could do was find a comfortable position, settle in, and find console in the, hopefully, friends they were stuck with.

With Morgan, Rossi, and Reid, they were spread out through the room. Rossi was sitting in the only comfortable chair claiming his back hurt and the old man shouldn't be forced into some rickety, unstable piece of crap. It was a lot like his new shoe argument; one of those things that couldn't really be taken seriously, but not something to argue about. Reid was sprawled out on the floor, head leaning against the wall and feet spread before him. Derek took the counter. He liked it. He had the best view of the outside. If anyone came into the bullpen, he'd see it. He liked having that control and ability. And, though they weren't squished together at the small table, it still felt like an intimate gathering. It was still three friends, like they were hanging out or chilling at a bar; happy with the company they kept.

"Did you know there's an average of 800 kernels of corn per cob, usually arranged in 16 rows?" Reid asked. That was the third in a series of random facts he was throwing out at them. They had nothing better to do, so they didn't tell him to shut up yet, but they didn't know how much they could stomach.

"What did you read Pretty Boy, Agricultural Digest?" Morgan joked.

"As a matter of fact…" He teased. "No. It is just a detail I happened to come across in my reading. Did you also know that in Paraguay, two people can legally duel as long," he enunciated, "As long as they are both blood donors?"

"Why would anyone know that?"

"Wait, is that true?"

"Yes, it is."

"How does that make sense?"

"Well you see…" The conversation of random facts would lead to bigger, more important things. The panic had passed, for the most part. There was still a hint of residual fear, but they hadn't heard anything. They were taking that to mean no news was good news. And they still had power, so that was a plus too.

Though, for a second there, Garcia lost connection to her computers and it caused a little bit of mass panic within her. "They should've said something by now." Garcia stated as they both sat in the swivel chairs, lounging, feet up like it was one of their girls' nights. It was familiar and comfortable, and, for a while, the talking made them forget about everything, but then Garcia wanted to check on something. She needed to, just to keep her mind from wandering to the terrible what ifs. A few clicks of her keys and she became a little frantic, "JJ, it's not working. I can't… I can't connect to anything. It's official. We're dying. We're dying and they just don't want me to find out how."

If it weren't so sad and possibly true, JJ would've found more humor in it. "I don't think that's what's happening here." She knew how her friend could get. It was better to keep her calm. "The lights flickered before, maybe that messed with everything. Try again."

"Jayje, you're a genius! I could just kiss you." Garcia excitedly went back to her systems and rebooted it. A few clicks and a little patience, and they were back in business. "It's all working. I'm so proud of you my babies." She spoke to the computers. "I can only access our floor's cameras without hacking though, and that would set off internal alarms. I don't think I want to do that right now. This new system they put in sucks. Oh look, Morgan, Rossi, and Reid are all in the break room."

"What about Em and Hotch?"

"I don't see them. They probably got locked in his office after he so rudely whisked her away. Sometimes I think if we just shoved them in a closet, locked the door, they'd just go at it like rabbits and be done with it. They can be so uptight. It would help them. We should do that one day. They both need a good time. It would relax them. Oh… Oh! I have an idea. Maybe we should find Mr. No Name New York and get Charlie her family. Apparently he knows how to rock her world. But, we should kill two birds… Let's not kill anything... We could help two friends out. It could be a friends with benefits type thing. He could just bend her right over his desk and take her right there."

"Garcia…"

"Come on Jayje. You know they'd probably be good together. And I know that it's one of my crazy imaginary fantasy worlds, but think of the possibilities. Those two would have some beautiful babies. It's be like…. Oh! Mini Charlies! Imagine how cute they'd be!"

Without over thinking Garcia's words, JJ responded. "You're crazy, you know that?"

"I have been told and drug tested."

"I'm sure you have." JJ laughed.

"So, should I try to find out what's got us locked up like poor animals ready for slaughter?"

"How exactly would you do that?"

"Well Jayje, if I told you, I'd have to kill you. We don't really want that. Just remember, I'm the oracle of knowledge. I can find all."

JJ had some questions… Maybe they could put the time to good use and she could have Garcia help find her find some of those answers; it was kind of her idea anyway. Maybe she'd leave there with a little less confusion and a little more fact. "Maybe we should just try to get in touch with the team first. You know, before we do anything illegal." Oh, she'd get her questions answered, but it'd have to wait. She had a feeling it was going to be a long day. And, for some odd reason, she was ok with that. For just one day, she could be ok with that.

But not everyone could feel the same way. Emily was a bit rattled by it all. Her mind immediately went to the worst case scenario and, even after a chunk of time had come and gone, she still couldn't school her emotions. It was her first day back, and she was spending it locked in the office with potential danger lurking both inside and out of the door. So, she found herself pacing as Hotch simultaneously watched her and his cell phone. Neither seemed to give him answers.

But he couldn't make the phone have service, he couldn't make the office phone work, and he couldn't magically make the messages come, so he turned his attention to something that could be fixed; Emily. "Why are you pacing?"

Emily stilled, faced him, and snapped, "Why are you not?" She didn't mean to be harsh. She just kept thinking about Charlie and how simply coming home late on her first day back would upset the child and damage her further. And Emily made a promise to herself a long time ago that she would not damage her daughter with her own issues. And abandonment was one of her issues. Then there was the small, but existent, chance that it was a serious situation and she wouldn't be coming home at all. Emily didn't even want to consider what that would do to Charlie. "I'm sorry."

"It's ok. Just relax. We're fine." She was reluctant, slowly beginning to move to and fro once more. He was getting dizzy watching her movement, and, though he didn't need to be, still worried that she'd collapse or relapse or just generally hurt herself, so he made the decision to get up, walk to her, and get her to stop. In front of her, he put a hand on each shoulder to still her. "Look at me." She didn't. "Please look at me." Slowly, she kinked her neck in his direction, her eyes slightly glazed, but barely noticeable, and her focus just a little off. "I know you're scared for so many reasons. This is the last place you want to be; stuck in here, just you and me. I'd be here anyway, but the point is, we're stuck together, and I don't not like your company." He smiled and she did too. It was working. "While you were on leave, they put in new locks, upgraded the security, and now there's this whole new system. This could be anything. It could be serious, but I honestly don't believe it is. We haven't had the chance to go over new protocol yet, so I can't tell you what this means and I can't promise there's nothing happening, but I'm here, and we'll get through this." He had released her once he saw her tense body hunch in the slightest as she relaxed. "You're not alone. I'm here, and, if you want to talk, we can do that." Especially since there were a few things he wouldn't mind discussing…

Moving away from him, Emily reclaimed her seat and Hotch sat in one of the visitor's chairs right by her. "For the record, right now… I don't not like your company either…" He'd take it.

Again, a smile appeared on both their faces. It was truly a sight. "Good to know." He leaned into his chair. "So a dog huh?"

"Don't even get me started on that. She has been asking for a while now, but she just doesn't understand that mommy's not always home to take it for walks and make sure it has food and water. She says she's a big girl and can do it herself, but she's just not big enough yet. I'm really trying hard to convince her that she wants a cat that we can name Sergio. Cats are more self sufficient; a liter box and sustenance."

"Sergio?" He asked.

That was one person, or two, who were relatively normal. They still had a long day ahead of them and the confined space and quiet would force them to put it to good use, but Hotch was just satisfied he got a smile out of her. And, though their current conversation wasn't really earth shattering or newsworthy, it was about their daughter and it passed the time. He was happy with both those things.

Time seemed to move along; not quickly, but it was happening. Emily and Hotch carried on with random conversation bouncing from one casual topic to the next, most of which revolved around their children or old cases. Garcia and JJ were faring pretty well, but JJ was getting a little annoyed. Garcia kept playing with the computer. One minute she'd show Jayje some ridiculous role playing game she had or whatever app she had on her computer and the next she'd go back to trying to hack into the new security system and find out what was causing the lockdown. None of that was the issue though. Just every time Garcia came close to getting the answer, she talked herself out of it and JJ had to come along for the draining ride. Doing nothing had never really been so much work. As for the boys, well, Reid was being Reid.

"If you yelled for a total of 8 years, 7 months, and 6 days, you'd produce enough sound energy to heat a cup of coffee." Reid spouted.

"That's a lot of work for a cup of coffee."

"Emily's the only one of us that would probably work that hard for her double shot this and that."

"You know JJ's order too, or just one of the coffee fiends?"

"Women and their coffee."

"Oh yeah? Is that how you serenaded wives two and three, with coffee?" Morgan teased and Rossi followed up with a witty retort.

"It would actually make sense to use coffee as a courting device." They looked at him like he grew another head. Sure, coffee was great, but it wasn't exactly a magic mate maker and Reid was lacking in that department. "Though, once illegal in three countries throughout time, there are over 50 different species of coffee beans, which are the seeds in coffee cherries. Though not commonly seen in grocery stores because of coffee's popularity, the cherry is quite delicious, very tart. It's said to taste light and sweet and described to taste like honey, peach, and sometimes watermelon. And each year over 500 million cups are consumed. It's the second most traded commodity. Thus, coffee can be a way to attract a female or male."

"Enough with the facts Reid. I love ya man, but enough is enough. It was ok for the first hour and I tolerated it after that, but I can't take it anymore. And as interesting as the history of coffee is, let's talk about something else." Reid took no offense. He was used to it.

"Like what? You want to talk about Sunday's sundae?" Morgan brushed him off.

"Well, since we were speaking of Emily, how's everyone really feeling about her being back?" Morgan broached the topic carefully. It was a sensitive subject.

"You don't want her here?" Rossi asked in a fatherly manner.

"It's… It's not that. She is my partner. She is my friend, and she is family, but she still went against us. She left us like open targets to fight a fight that shouldn't have been fought."

"That's not how it went Morgan." Reid declared. He had issues with Emily still, they all did, but he understood it too. He knew Morgan did as well. "She was trying to protect us. He threatened us and she did what she needed to, to keep us and her daughter safe."

"I get that. But that's another issue. She lied about her. We've been colleagues… No," he corrected himself, "we've been friends, like family, for years and we didn't even know the girl existed. What's up with that?"

"Didn't you talk to her about this?"

"Yeah I did, just like you did, but she's a vault. She tells you enough, but not all. Am I upset that she slept with the guy for a profile, hell yeah. Am I upset that she didn't trust us enough to let us help her, you bet your ass. But I still want her here. I still want her in my life. I just want her to make me understand."

"I'm sure she has a reason for being so secretive. You have to remember Derek that that was how she was raised. I ran into Ambassador Prentiss at an event or two, and she doesn't seem like the type of mother that garnered an open and nurturing environment. Her whole life had a political veil. There are things she doesn't know how to say. There are things she may never actually be able to tell you, but she's still Emily. You have to decide if that's enough."

"Of course it's enough. Seeing her in that basement, I didn't care what she did. I didn't care that she almost killed those men or that she literally shot a guy in his ear. I just wanted her to live. And she did. She's here. And I've been there for her. I support her. Hell, I've even talked to her and I've helped her, but I still have my questions."

"There will always be questions."

"You know…" Reid began but was cut off by Derek.

"I swear to god Reid. If 'you know' is followed by some statistic or little known fact that we don't care about right now, I might have to hit you."

"Ok, well, then I won't follow that up, but…" He got quiet, looking to the ground. He wasn't a completely opened book, he didn't just go around talking about feelings all the time and he was very selective when he did, but he wasn't a vault like Emily and Hotch. He was ok with talking, especially with the people he worked with who were just as much kin as his own mother, and more so than his father ever was. "I avoided Emily for a while because I didn't understand things. I need to understand things. I'm a man of science. She was there for me when I needed her, pushed me when she knew I needed to be pushed even if I didn't know it, and listened when I talked. She even lets me shoot off some facts without interrupting sometimes." He gave a pointed look. "Everything that happened seemed so random. We didn't see it coming and that was what got us the most. But I don't want to lose her again. So, I'm not going to take that chance. I may never get the answers I want and she may never tell me everything I want to know, but I experienced life without her in it and I don't want that again. For whatever reasons, she kept Charlie a secret, and maybe we'll find out the real reasons behind that, but if not, I still have my friend, and now I have a niece of sorts too."

"And Charlie's great, but can you really just put everything behind you? Can you forget that she put us in danger? Can you trust her out in the field?" Could he trust himself to keep her safe? Could he trust himself to not let her slip through his fingers again? He couldn't handle it if she got hurt on his watch again.

"How can you not?" Rossi finally spoke up. "She almost died trying to protect us. No, she did die to protect us and her daughter. Yes, she lied to us and trust is something we all have to rebuild, but it could've been worse. What if we didn't get Doyle? If she happened to survive, she'd be put in hiding, she'd be dead to the world, and we'd never see her again. We'd all be forced to live that lie. What if she wasn't here right now? Would you be focusing on the wrongs? Because you're right. She did the wrong things for the right reasons, but she was willing to sacrifice herself. She was willing to go on a suicide mission, risk losing her life and the opportunity to watch and be a part of her daughter's life, to protect all of us. That makes her a hero in my book. What does it make her in yours?"

"I don't know man. I want her here. I helped her get back here, but I don't know. I just… I don't know. She's my partner and she left me in the dark. I could've helped her. It didn't have to happen this way."

"She had help from someone who was there, from someone who was in danger just like she was. That was the safer choice. Clyde isn't my favorite person. I don't know him all that well. But I'm happy he was there for her and he helped her. She couldn't come to us, but she had him."

"But I'm her partner." If Rossi didn't know better, if he wasn't the seasoned profiler he was, he would've assumed the emotion Morgan was projecting was jealousy, but it wasn't that. No, it was definitely something else. He was hurt. He was hurt that she felt she couldn't go to him; that she was willing to put their safety above her own and it almost cost her more than any of them were willing to pay.

"If she had told you about everything, if she came to you as soon as she knew what was happening, would it really change how you feel now?"

"Yes." He said definitively. "Maybe."

"Maybe you would've made things worse."

"Hold up. Are you saying it was better she didn't give us any warning? And how would I have made things worse?"

"I think what Rossi's trying to say," Reid interjected, "is that we don't know if knowing would've changed the outcome. Us being in the loop sooner could've caused more harm than good. Or we could've prevented it from happening. We just don't know."

"Fine, let's say you're right. I still have issues with things. And it won't change anything. I still want her here, but we all have some adjusting to do. I've gotten some answers, but I'm still looking for more."

"We all are. I have questions and things that need clarification, but I'd rather have her with us."

"It's clear that we have to be open to the idea that Emily may never give us the answers we want, but we have to give her that chance. We don't know what she'll say until we ask. But, let's give her a chance to settle in. We all agreed that we wanted her back. We all told Hotch that when we had that meeting. Has that changed?"

"No." Reid and Morgan answered in tandem.

"Good, then let's give this a chance. Let's give her a case or two to settle in and see where things are. It's an experiment and we all have to do our part. Now, I don't do this for just anyone. My mansion is mine, but in a few weeks, after we all had a little time to get back into the swing of things, I'll talk to Hotch, I'll have a dinner party. It will be like team bonding. It could be good for us."

"Yeah, or a terrible idea."

"You got a better one Reid?"

"No, I'm just wondering how much alcohol will be consumed at this dinner party. And can you actually cook? Emily and I have a running joke about that."

"You do, do you?"

"I'm just trying to make sure we won't be poisoned."

"I'll have you know, I'm a culinary master of Italian cuisine."

Their talk easily went back into lighter territory. Emily came up a few times after that, but it wasn't about what happened and it certainly wasn't bad. Actually, everyone came up. They felt a little less pressure weighing on them. There was a game plan in motion. And they wouldn't be without their ups and downs, but they really just had to see how things went. And instead of dwelling on it, they talked about everything else. It wasn't avoidance. There wasn't any of that. It was just off their chests and they didn't need their whole day spent worrying about that. They had to believe things would get back to normal and they didn't need to air anymore of their feelings on that. Instead, they talked Henry and Charlie and Jack and weekend plans. Morgan talked about his last disaster of a date which led to teasing of Reid for his lack of a social life and Rossi for his quiet abundance of courtships. It was normal. It was male bonding. It was simple.

They even talked sports, which left Reid a little clueless. For once, he wasn't the genius in the room. He was the water boy trying to keep up with the starting players. And they had fun with that. But Reid threw in his two cents, adding what little he did know from his various reading materials. It wasn't much, but it got him by without too much ridicule. And then they moved onto literature, which put Morgan on the outs. Sure, he read, but his idea of a good read was Vonnegut or something fun. The classics and that kind of thing just weren't his style. He wasn't totally sidelined, just temporarily benched for parts of that conversation.

Even with the quiet moments, they were distracted. They were completely oblivious to the panic they once felt when the doors first closed on them. And that was what they needed. Things that needed to be said were said, and they were having a god time; a better time than they could've hoped for in such a situation. At least they weren't stuck with people they didn't like.

Emily and Hotch were doing ok too. It was just quiet, almost uncomfortably so. They were doing well at first, but they were still a little shaky. The sad part was they were actually doing their best to make conversation. Maybe they were trying to hard because they ended up sitting on the same sofa just looking anywhere but at each other. When the office phone rang, it took them both by surprise. He wasn't aware that it was working again; then again, he also hadn't checked it. "I should get that." He excused himself from his place next to Emily.

"Yeah, answer it." It was a slight reprieve.

"Hotchner." He spoke into the receiver. "Yes ma'am." Emily wondered who it was. By his choice of words, she assumed it was Strauss, but she'd have to wait and see. "Really?… No, that's great…" There were a mess of single words and phrases. "Uh huh… Yes… Ok…" Things like that. Emily was very curious. Maybe they'd finally get out of there. "Yes, thank you ma'am." He hung up with a shit eating grin on his face and a shake of his head. He couldn't believe what idiots could manage to find their way into the FBI employment.

"What, what is it?" Emily asked. If he was smiling like that, she wanted to know why. "Who was that?"

"That was Strauss." He answered.

"And talking to her makes you that happy?"

"No." He laughed again.

"Then what is it?"

"We're still on lockdown."

"Yeah Aaron, I got that. But why are we still in lockdown?"

"Some idiot down in the lab thought it was a good idea to play with chemicals."

"Ok…." She considered herself a fairly smart individual, but she wasn't following, and she definitely wasn't finding the humor in that.

"In doing so, he created a toxic substance."

"Are you trying to tell me the air we're breathing right now is toxic?" Because that wasn't a laughing matter. What was wrong with him?

His laugh got louder. "The fumes set off an alarm. The alarm tripped another alarm and the system went into overdrive. Then… and I think this is the best part…" He just continued laughing. If she hadn't been with him for the last few hours, she would've thought he was high. It must've been prolonged exposure. Was she next? Did the air make them go crazy?

"Hotch… seriously… What's going on?"

"When the alarm went off, the guy spooked. The chemicals set off the quarantine trigger and in the lab, apparently, that means loud, continuous beeping, robotic warnings, the works, and he freaked."

"So we're in a quarantine?" Why didn't that make her feel any better?

"Yes…" That freaked her out a little more. "Well, no. No we're not."

"I don't understand."

"We're in quarantine because of a false reading. Whatever he used set off something, even sent out warnings to the CDC, who came here by the way. According to Strauss, they're still here."

"Seriously?" He nodded. "I'm not really seeing the humor in this Hotch."

"The guy panicked. He didn't want to get caught and he didn't want to be locked in with the possibly dangerous mess he made, so he tried to get out. He forgot about the new security system and, again, he set off an alarm. He swiped the wrong badge, punched in the wrong code. He made it seem like someone was trying to break in; poorly at that. And then he started fiddling with the buttons." Was it weird that hearing him say 'fiddling' kind of made her giddy?

"So?"

"So he was read as an intruder. With the new system, that meant floor lockdowns so they could clear us one at a time and so the intruder can't get into any other area. Unfortunately, that also means other occupants can't get out."

"So we're in a normal lockdown?"

"And a quarantine."

"All because of one guy?"

"It's funny right?" No, not really.

"Sure." Ok, maybe a little. "But if they know what's going on, why are we still trapped?"

"Apparently, it might be a while. There are quarantine protocols that need to be followed and they still have to clear us floor by floor."

"They couldn't just override the system? They know it's not real."

"No. Strauss said that's just not how it works. Believe me, this is the one time I think she'd actually help us if she could. She's stuck with that quote, unquote 'creepy accountant' guy and all the other department heads in a budget meeting."

"So how'd she find out?"

"They heard the commotion and made it into the lobby before the lockdown then got stuck together again in that room just by the entrance. That room is small, and you know that one guy doesn't stop talking."

"How come we can't use our phones?"

"Part of the system is a phone jammer. The office phones should have been ok, but cell phones were supposed to be blocked. I don't know exactly, but Strauss assures me they're doing everything they can to resolve the situation."

"I don't think I find that comforting."

"Me either, but she ranted about how she was going to hunt down whoever chose the new security system. Since it was installed it has been nothing but trouble. It was too sensitive, too extreme, too this and that. It was nice to see her stressing for a change."

"I believe it. I'd be pissed too. Isn't a security system supposed to be better than this? I mean, really, how can we do our job if we are stuck in rooms instead of out on the floor? And how safe can all this be?"

"Honestly, I think the biggest problem is that we weren't aware of the kinks and flaws. We're on a level 3 lock down for nothing. That's the equivalent of a hostage situation or something. Level 4 is terrorist like situation and 5 is a nuclear disaster or like security threat. I honestly am not sure how this all works. It's a little ludicrous."

She nodded. "So, we're stuck here?"

"Yes."

"You should probably try to let the team know. Are cell phones usable? Mine's at my desk."

"Uh…" He searched his pockets and then moved to his desk. "Yes, there's service now." He quickly sent out a mass email that read _Not an actual emergency. Still stuck for now. Everyone go home as soon as released. Talk more at tomorrow's briefing. -A. Hotchner._ "Hopefully they have their phones on them."

"Hopefully."

They sat across from each other once more, not doing much of anything. They didn't know where to go next, so Emily broke the silence. She wouldn't, no couldn't, sit there in silence for however long they had left. "So, now that we know we're stuck in a hostage quarantine situation for no reason, what do we do with ourselves?"

"We could talk."

"We could." And they would…

Hearing the phones beep was like music to their ears. They still had questions, but they didn't feel so in the dark and so nervous about the possibilities. It was a relief for sure. And it instantly made everyone calmer; more themselves again. The men were seemingly unaffected. They raised a glass of the left over sparkling cider, wishing they were in Rossi's office to break open the hard stuff, and toasted to knowing they'd live to see another day and then just went about their chatting.

For Garcia, it was like winning the lottery. There was a five minute rant about how they were going to be ok, there were no evil, clown mask wearing, hostage takers waiting to massacre each and every employee in the building because of some stupid vendetta or a gas toxin released into the water supply meant to paralyze them so a band of merry serial killers could have their way with them. The things she said, even in her Garcia way, made JJ wish she was looking at case files instead of the depravity that Garcia had been exposed to, accumulated, and spit out in one big graphic mess. She had to cut her off.

"Hey, PG, want to do something fun? We're stuck in here and we know it's nothing, why not put our time to good use?" It was her perfect chance to delve deeper into the mystery that was Emily Prentiss' past. And, she had no doubt, that Penelope Garcia was the best woman for the job. Who needed men when she had a woman?

"Oh, like what?"

"You can find anything on your computer right?"

She gasped, insulted. "Why JJ, are you questioning the awesomeness that is this bombshell package? I'm hurt, hurt I tell you."

"So that's a yes right?"

"Right, but if you question my skills again, the only thing I'll help you with is finding the names of a few good financial advisors to help you through your poor fiscal choices and terrible credit score."

"Remind me not to mess with you."

"You better not." Garcia joked. "So what's this task you wish to bestow upon this goddess of knowledge?"

"It's something from over a few years ago and I don't know how public it was. That won't be a problem right?"

The buxom blonde gave her counterpart and intense glare. "Jayje, what did I just say about questioning me? I'm about one second away from erasing your identity."

"You can do that?"

"JJ!"

"Ok, ok… I have clues and I need to solve this mystery."

"So we're playing detective. OH! You can be the Watson to my Sherlock or you can be the Sherlock to my Holmes."

"Those are both men Garcia."

"Haven't you ever wanted to be a man? Just for a day?"

"No."

"So it's just me then?" JJ nodded. "Ok. You can be Nancy Drew then. Or, or Irene Adler. She's a lady detective right?"

"Garcia, focus."

"Ok, I'm focused. What do you got?"

"February 14th, 2006."

"Valentine's Day? Are we looking for a lover? Does Will know you have taken up with another man?"

"Yes, I want to tell him I had his love child. The child's in hiding, waiting for daddy to come." She didn't realize how much truth could've been in that statement for Emily. Charlie was that child and she was searching for that dad…

"Funny, but seriously. What do you need?"

"There was a party at the ambassador's home I think. Can you get a list of who attended?"

"Ambassador as in Ambassador Prentiss?" She looked intrigued. "Does this have to do with Emily? Is it about Charlie? I need details. Details Jayje!"

"Calm down. It's just a person find. Emily told me about this guy in attendance that… Let's call it a scavenger hunt. I have the bread crumbs and you have the technology. It will pass the time." And get her answers she had been dying to have…

"But I get more details later?"

"One thing at a time." JJ smiled. Hopefully by the end of the day, she'd have some sort of cover story all set and ready to go because, if they found what she was looking for, or even just narrowed down the large pool of potential donors, Emily wouldn't be happy that they went searching through her business. She wouldn't be happy that they knew, and she wouldn't be happy that she wasn't the one to tell them when she was ready. Not to mention, Garcia, while capable and trusted and very loved, wasn't the best secret keeper. She could and would, but people knew better than to ask if they didn't have to. "First we need a list."

"The lamp has been rubbed. Your wish is my command."

"I think Hotch had the right idea about having you drug tested."

"Oh hush. You wouldn't have me any other way."

"I wouldn't, no."

"Good, now tell me what you know. Tell me anything. Better yet, tell me everything." JJ just gave her an 'I'll tell you a little, don't ask for more' kind of look. "Ok, tell me the relevant things. Anything to help me."

"There was a party or a gala or something for some big shot foreign guy."

"Aren't all Embassy parties like that?"

"I guess, but knowing the date has to help. Doesn't it?"

"Yeah. I'm going to try and get what you want, but I don't know where exactly they'd keep that information. Don't worry. Just let my magic fingers guide us."

"I wouldn't dream of doing it myself."

"Because that's what I'm here for." She said as she whizzed from one computer page to the next. "Come on. Come to mama." Garcia spoke to the screen as JJ watched in amusement. "I'm gonna get you." It took some doing. She had to find and track the original invitation back to its origins after finding out more about the actual party, and then she had to go through the caterers and party planners to find out which print shop they used. Once she did that, she managed to get a list of the names and addresses of all invitees. "So, I can't tell you for sure who was at the actual event, that list seems to be nonexistent. It's probably buried in some bureaucratic privacy crap, but I can tell you that these people were all sent invitations."

"That's great. How many names are there?"

"Not including the plus ones, there're a good 300 names on this list."

"Seriously?"

"I know. How big was that house?"

"Huge apparently." JJ's thoughts wandered off. That was a lot of names, but she had a lot of clues to add. It wasn't over yet. "Ok. Can you get rid of all the women? I just want the names of the men."

"I like it. All men all the time…" She too wandered. "Anyway, yes, I can do that." A few clicks and a new list appeared.

"How many names now?"

"193. Turns out, there are still more men in the political world than women. Feminists beware, we are outnumbered." That was still a lot of names.

"Ok, well, we have to narrow that down."

"Tell me what you want me to do sugar."

"Pull the names of anyone who worked for Ambassador Prentiss from…" She had to think back. If she remembered correctly, Emily said she was around 19 when they first met, when he first worked for, or was it with, her mother. Knowing Emily's age, she gave Garcia a three year gap to compensate for her memory. She wanted to get it right. "So anyone who worked for or with the ambassador during that time."

"For and with or just for her?"

"Either. Both. Just anyone who she had worked with whether it was an equal or underling."

"Underling, I like that word."

"Focus please." Garcia nodded and got back to work.

"That's still a big list Jayje. She went through people like a normal person changes underwear."

"Ok…"

"But, it did make the list a little shorter. Now there are only 108 names. Each of those men worked for her or with her in some way, shape, or form. The rest are just associates or big shots."

JJ was beginning to feel a little defeated. They only went through a few steps and she had a lot more information stored up, but it didn't really seem like they were getting anywhere. There was no giving up though. There was just work to be done. She wanted something tangible to bring up with Emily. Not that she was sure that was what she was going to so… She had to wait and see. "Well, how many of them worked for the FBI in 2006?"

"I think I see where this is going chick-a-dee."

"Alright, we'll see. Just do your thing." And her thing she did…

While their search was commencing, Emily and Aaron were deep in the throes of another conversation. For some reason, things always came back to one thing. Doyle… "You said you were nervous to be back. Is that because of Doyle? Because he hurt you and we allowed that to happen?"

Her body snapped into attention. No longer lying on the couch, her posture was straight in her seat. "You didn't allow anything to happen. It just happened. But I'm not afraid of Doyle." Not really, though he still haunted her from time to time. "The fact of the matter is that my past is messy. But it's also just that. My past is my past. With Doyle, it was about the need for revenge. A man, well two men, were out for revenge. Jeremy sold Ian the information. My information, because after years of suffering and living with the loss of the love of his life, the opportunity to right the wrongs he felt were committed presented itself." Tsia was taken from him; violently taken from him when she should've been protected. It was Emily's job and the government's job to protect her and they failed. "It's not right, but he did what he did. He became a mole. And Doyle was, Doyle wanted revenge against anyone he felt betrayed him; most of all, me. I was the women that caused him the most pain. To him, along with everyone else involved, I ruined his life. I made him fall in love. I played a part and maybe I played it a little too well. But this is where we are. I was lucky enough to survive when so many others died and shouldn't have. I just want to put it behind me."

"So then what's bothering you?" So much… "You want to be back right? You want to work a government job even though you don't have to? This is what you want?"

"I'm having some issues with our government. I'm not going to lie. Finding out they used our daughter, dangled her in front of him like bait… It makes me sick. They were willing to put her in harm's way, for what? To get a sociopath to talk? They knew he wouldn't. I'm sure he didn't. But they did it anyway. And that bothers me. It bothers me that my past hurt her, but I can't change that. But we have a job to do; a job I believe in. I still have shadows in my past and at any moment they could come back to haunt me. And it's the same for all of us. My daughter could be unsafe. She could be in danger. And I'm scared of that happening, but that doesn't mean I give up. And it doesn't mean I give her up. There's danger everywhere, but she's my daughter. I fight for her. Every day I fight for her. And I hope you do to. I hope you fight for her. And maybe, maybe just a little, you fight for me too." She didn't want to give him a chance to respond. More than she wanted to actually say was said and she didn't want to give him a chance to let it sink in. "But like I said, I want to move forward. So let's talk about something else."

"Ok." He could agree to that as her words, her confessions, were being processed. "I didn't stay with Haley over the weekend. Not really." It was weighing on him since he first brought it up. He felt this uncontrollable need to explain. In front of him was a beautiful woman who infuriated him, who, on many occasions, surprised him, who had the ability to understand him like so many others couldn't, someone who didn't try to change him or ask something of him he wasn't capable of giving, but still expected the best from him, who could easily match his professionalism and skill, who could have anyone she wanted and once wanted him, and someone who was, easily, more than he could ever have. Yet, he still felt some kind of claim on her. It was wrong. It wasn't him, but he liked her. He'd never admit it out loud. He'd deny it, and he barely even allowed himself to think it, but it was true. However, that was where it ended. That was where it had to end. And that was the extent of his conclusions. They were friends who had a kid together, thus the like.

"You don't have to explain anything to me. Who you see and don't see really isn't any of my business." Though, she felt like it was. "I would like a heads up if you're getting back together though. That would, in the future, affect Charlie, so a little warning would be nice."

"I don't think you have to worry about that." He laughed it off. "But I'll keep that in mind for future reference."

"Why not?"

"I believe we had this conversation before. Haley and I will always love each other and we don't regret the choices we made, but we're incompatible. We're not getting back together. She's actually dating."

"Good for her." His face scrunched and she noticed. "Right?"

"Yes. I'm happy for her."

"Are you? Are you dating?" She asked quietly. She wanted him to be happy, but she was hoping for a no. It was illogical and completely off base, but she wanted a firm "no."

"I'm not. We have some stuff to figure out before I add anyone else to the mix."

"Oh."

"So, I may have done something and I don't know how you're going to feel about it."

"What did you do?" She asked cautiously. Someone saying 'I may have done something' didn't generally bode well.

"I had an interesting talk with Haley while I was there."

"About?"

"You." He stated plainly, almost indifferent. He wasn't making it easy.

"Me?"

"And Charlie."

"What exactly did you say to her Hotch?" She was nervous. It was her secret for so long and the thought of more and more people knowing frightened her a little. She felt exposed and she assumed she'd have to get used to it because it looked like secrets were finally getting out. Slowly, everyone would find out. That was what she wanted; for it to be out there, but it didn't mean that made it easy.

"_Haley, we need to talk."_

"_Aaron?" She asked nervously, a twisting feeling in her stomach._

_Placing a hand on her back, he pushed her forward and said, "Let's go inside. I'll pour us a drink and we'll talk."_

_She needed a drink for whatever he had to say? "What's wrong Aaron?"_

"_We'll talk inside." They made it into the kitchen. He pulled out a bottle of Haley's favorite white wine and silently poured them each a glass. _

"_You're making me nervous. I know I wanted to know, but… You're just… you're making me nervous."_

"_Drink this." He handed her a very full wine glass. They would need a little unwinding. And he was about to dose her with a very bitter pill. "I think you'll need it."_

"_What is it? What's wrong? Is it Jack? He seemed fine." She heard it in his voice. Something wasn't right. And the way he was looking at her, with sorrow and with these apologetic eyes. She was scared."Did something happen that you didn't tell me about?"_

"_It's not about Jack. I mean, it does involve him, but indirectly. He's fine. He's Jack. It's about me."_

"_Are you… Are you sick?" They weren't together, but it didn't stop her from caring. She didn't want him sick or in pain. That would hurt her too._

"_No, I'm not sick." He didn't elaborate._

"_Then what is it? You're scaring me Aaron." She needed him to just say it… to just say whatever it was that he needed to. "Please, just say it. Whatever it is, just say it." Would she regret that? Would she regret ever caring about him?_

"_I uh…" He was usually so good with words, but how did someone tell his ex wife that, while they were still married although separated, he had a child with another woman? "I have a daughter."_

_After a moment of collective silence, a simple name slipped from her lips. "Charlie…" It wasn't a question. It wasn't an accusation. It just was. He was shocked though. How could she have known? She met her once, twice maybe._

"_I'm sorry Haley… I'm so sorry."_

"_Aaron…" _

"I told her about Charlie."

"Oh… fuck Hotch…" She didn't plan on swearing, but if ever a time. "Re you insane? Crazy? Looking to be murdered? Why did you do that?"

"I had to."

Calmer, she asked, "Well, how did she take it?"

"We had a lot to talk about and we did talk. She took it surprisingly well." He sighed. "At the very least, I bought us some time to figure out what happens next."

"So what you're telling me is that we have a band aid on our bullet wound?" She said, squeezing her eyes tight, trying to figure out how to heal their festering sore.

"I… What?"

"We're seconds away from bleeding out and we patched ourselves up with band aids to keep holding on. But, eventually, we're going to need something with a more permanent hold or we die."

"That's morbid."

"It's a euphemism."

"I'm sure Reid would have something to say about that."

"I'm sure he would too." She shook her head and leaned forward in her seat toward Hotch. "But this isn't about Reid."

"It's about us and our daughter." He stated. Yeah, they were really going to have to talk that one out. And that's what they'd spend the next few hours doing.

A few corridors down though, an equally important mission of sorts was taking place. Well, it was important to them at least. "So we're down to 13 men as our potential suspects."

"They're not suspects Pen." But 13 was a much better number of suspects. They narrowed the 108 to 25 after the factored in the job at the FBI. From there it went to 23 when they subtracted anyone younger than Emily. He was older. She remembered Emily saying that, and, it just made sense logically that he was. Then another 5 names got ditched because they were never married. And another 5 after that because they didn't have kids. So there were 13 names, none of which they actually looked at yet, but it was really beginning to pan out. "Last step. How many of those 13 were in New York while we were there for Sean's restaurant opening?"

"Aha!" She squealed. "I knew it. We're on operation booty call. We're trying to find Emily's illustrious lover! At first I thought we were playing 'Who's yo' daddy' to finally find the man behind the mystery that is our Emster, but, how could you possibly know all this when she's so tight lipped? New York lover though, she'd be more inclined to talk about him. Him she'd give details on." If only she knew they were one in the same. "Oh I love it when we go on hunts of hijinks and candy canes. This is so much fun." She was clapping; like actual and to hand loud noise clapping in excitement.

"Well you enjoy your fun now because I can neither confirm nor deny the purpose of this investigation… And you will never speak of this to Emily."

"Look at you, going all media liaison-y on me." People couldn't help but smile around that woman. "Don't go reverting back to old ways for too long. The profiler you is extra badass."

"Thanks Garcia. Now back to work. That was the last thing and then we have our final list."

"Fear not my pretty. Penelope is always here to save the day." Clapping one last time, she swiveled her way back in front of her screens and clickity clacked her way through cyber space. "Ok, travel records of all kinds. Trains, planes and automobiles… You know you liked that reference. Ok, I think I've… Nope, I know I've got it. Three! There are three names!" She turned to JJ. "And that, my friend, is how it's done."

"You're good, but we never doubted that."

"That better not change."

"So let's see these names." JJ moved her chair for a better view of the screen as Garcia pulled up three tabs, each containing a name and basic information.

"This is like the final reveal. It's so exciting." She said excitedly looking to JJ. "Why aren't you more excited?"

"Oh my God…" The words quietly escaped the blonde's lips.

"What?"

"Garcia, did you look at these names?"

"Well, no. That's like cheating. I just did my thing. I put in the information, set things on the right track. I was like the commander of a tiny microprocessor army." JJ's eyes had yet to leave the screen. Her mouth slightly ajar and her eyes focused, she just stared. "Jayje what is it?" Before JJ could react, Garcia was looking too. "Oh my God!" She said it in a totally different way. "The Hotch rocket has landed."

"Garcia."

"Come on JJ. That has to be a coincidence. They barely look at each other. They don't really talk. And, though I may have earlier suggested the idea, they are most definitely not bumping uglies." Her smile broadened. "But that would make for an awesomely awkward and highly entertaining conversation. I'd like to be a fly on that wall." Unsurprisingly to JJ, it was all starting to make sense. There were hints here and there. There were subtleties and little drops of this and that, but never anything concrete. And she let her mind wander to the possibility of them, at one point, being intimate, but she didn't think it was actually possible. How was it actually possible?

"You're right." JJ said unconvincingly, but Garcia bought it. Things were getting complicated. And Garcia wasn't stupid. She knew what was going on, but she also held the firm belief that Emily and Hotch were in no way capable of being more than what they were. They were friends, sometimes, and that worked for them. But there was no way he was Charlie's father. And even if he was, she'd feign innocence and pretend to unsee all she saw because she didn't want to step into that murky puddle. No, that was one mess she couldn't hack her way through. So she'd pretend there was no mess and step right on over it.

"I know I am. Besides, look at these pictures. Look at this guy. He is so Emily's type. I could even see him being Charlie's father." He was, possibly. Emily didn't have a set type, but the three men were all alike. Tall, dark, and handsome… The one Garcia pointed out was particularly good looking. "That's Agent James Monroe." She knew that. They worked with all of those men. "We worked with him on that child abduction case I think."

"Yeah."

"He's good looking." Rich dark hair, almost black, striking blue eyes… He definitely was that. "He's 42, was married, but got divorced in early 2006. He has a son and a daughter." Nope… Not him. Just a son. That was what Emily said. He had a son. There was no mention of a daughter and Charlie didn't count. "He really is some man candy."

"What about the other guy?"

"Agent Milo Rothsworth. He heads up the Anti-terrorism task force. You have to remember him. We worked with him on a few cases too, but that was a condition right? So all three are men we've worked with. He could pass inspection too. Thirty nine, gorgeous piece of man candy with abs of steel that rival my Morgan's and quite the charmer. Divorced his wife, but they share custody of their son Mark. He makes me want to stalk him and secretly have his babies." There was a possibility with him. "He was in New York with us I think. Apparently, he and Hotch went through the academy together and somehow he ended up friends with Sean." More in his favor, but JJ had a nagging feeling in her gut. Leave it to Emily to have the most complicated life. All the men were so similar; so Hotch. There was no doubt that one of the two, either Aaron or Milo, was Charlie's father. But which one? "JJ did you hear me?" And how exactly did Garcia know that Milo and Sean were friends through Hotch? Was that written down somewhere?

"What?"

"I actually said a lot of things, but the only thing you'll really care about was me asking you what you want me to do next. What do you want me to do with this?"

As JJ was about to answer, the door opened and a rather large and intimidating man walked in. "You're free to leave." He said. "The building is no longer in lockdown and this floor is being cleared." It shouldn't have had to be at all.

"Oh-kay…" JJ said to him.

"So?" Garcia asked once they were alone again.

"Delete any trace of the search. Forget we ever did this, and never ever mention a word of this to Emily. Me and you… That's it."

"You got it. Consider it done. Girlie Scout's honor."

"And thank you. You know I love you PG."

"Awe, I love you too buttercup."

"Why don't you go get the boys and see if they want to go get dinner? It's still early and I think we could use it. A drink too."

"I agree. Oh, maybe I could get there before big and burly and scare them. Wouldn't that be so much fun?"

Laughing, she simply answered, "I'll meet you at the elevators in 10."

"Okie dokes." She didn't know if her answers just led to more questions or not, but she did know it was one weird day. Long and confusing; that was what it was. And she was leaving there unsure what to do with the knowledge she was endowed. A part of her knew that if she went searching, she might not like what she found. And it wasn't that she didn't like it, but she sure as hell didn't know what to do with it. It could really mess up the team if it turned out to be Hotch. It could really cause problems…

It was a crazy day for her. It was really crazy all around; just a different kind of crazy. JJ and Garcia's day was for revelations. Morgan, Reid, and Rossi's day was one of resolution; or confession. And Hotch and Emily's day was still up in the air.

They spent a majority of the time working through that last talk. They were trying to understand what there was between them and their daughter and how to be a them without actually being an _us_. It was a lengthy talk that involved a lot of circling back and repeating. They delved further into what was said between him and Haley, though he certainly left some things out. Emily wasn't pleased that it was happening, but she knew it would happen eventually. She just wished it wasn't before she was supposed to have a play date with Charlie and Jack. It could've waited a couple of weeks and a little warning would've been nice.

So much was said, so many words, topics covered and exchanges made, and still it seemed they hadn't made much of a dent. They were finally up to the part about Hotch being more apart of Charlie's life. They both agreed they wanted that. They just disagreed on how to go about that.

"Loss is a part of life. People die, pets die… People leave… It happens. But she's five. She doesn't need to understand that yet and she already came so close to losing me. I don't want her to lose anyone. I don't want her to lose me and I don't want her to lose you." That was her fear. They'd get close. They'd get their father-daughter moment, and then poof! It'd be gone. She was worried for Charlie. And, though she trusted Hotch to an extent, she couldn't help but feel that was a real possibility. And he was hurt that she felt that way. He was trying to prove her faith in him right. He just wasn't doing the best job. But he acknowledged his mistakes. They both did.

"I know it seems rocky right now, but we're going to make this right. We're going to find this magical equilibrium and we're not going to understand why it took us so long to get there." He sighed. Somehow they ended up on the sofa together, knees touching and warmth shared. It wasn't doing anything to ease the tension. It was electric, like a reminder of past nights he was trying to forget. What was wrong with him? "You said you'd give me a chance, and I'm hoping you meant it. Our kid is pretty great. She's so much like her mother. And sometimes that bothers me because I know it's going to get her in trouble when she's older. But I want to be the dad she can come to. I want to be the one she can get a hug from after a bad day. I want to be there for her everything and be everything your father couldn't be for you and my father wasn't for me and Sean. That's what you said you wanted for her too right? Well we can give that to her."He gave her one of his dimpled smiles to let her know he meant it. She wasn't that easy though; not always. "We're going to do right by her. And she's going to continue being perfect. We'll all be ok." Yeah, it was working. That was where they were at and he was really working her good, but she wouldn't let her sway her. She had been testing his loyalty to their daughter and she had continuously been proven wrong again. She was afraid of that. She was trying to let go of it, but she couldn't. It just paralyzed her because she knew what it felt like and she'd never want anyone else to feel it. She seemed so afraid of so many things. Maybe that was why every time Hotch tried to broach the topic of their New York romp she quickly deflected? Was she afraid of that too? No, focus…

"You're a smooth talker Aaron Hotchner. You know the right things to say and the right time to say it, but it's not as effective as you think. You can say whatever, but if your actions don't back it up, then they're worthless words."

"I can't back them up when you choose to ignore me." Which she did; she ignored him as both her friend and boss for several days. There wasn't much he could do about that.

"I've apologized for that. You said you understood. We've moved on from it. If you're going to throw it in my face, I rather sit here in silence."

"Don't be like that Emily."

"How do you want me to be?"

"I want you to be you. We were having a civil conversation up until this point. Let's just get back to that."

"Let's. Where were we?"

"Well, why don't we skip ahead to what I want to know? When do we tell her? Now? Haley knows. Soon Jack will know. It makes sense to tell her now."

"Not now…" He looked hurt, devastated really, like she was intentionally trying to hurt him. That wasn't what she wanted to say; just what needed to be said. "This isn't about you, and it's not about me. Right now you're just Aaron, a guy she met a few times and liked, a guy who works with her mom, but you're not anything else. Jumping in and telling her you're her dad won't make the transition easier." She sighed. "You should get to know her first. She should get to know you. That way, when we do tell her, she'll be more open to the idea. She's a smart kid. She'll have a lot of questions, but if she knows you, if you spend more time with her, it'll be easier for everyone."

"Knowing that's true doesn't make it any easier."

"No, it doesn't. And I'm not trying to hurt you, but I want this to work. I want this to work for all of us and I just want her to be ok."

"I want that too." He said quietly, moving toward her; closer than they already were. He heard the love she had for their daughter in her voice and the concern she had for him and Jack earlier. It was more of an aphrodisiac and picturing her in those red lace panties she looked so good in. But he wasn't jumping her bones of anything; he just had to do something.

"What are you doing?" She asked. It seemed so random, so out of place, so them…

"Nothing." He assured her.

"You're getting all close and…"

"And what?" Hotch was memorized by her neck, pale and slender and open for the taking. He found his gaze drifting to it all day. If he were a vampire, he'd already have been feasting on it. And even though he was not, nor believed he ever could be, a creature of the night, he wanted his mouth firmly attached to that neck, ravishing it like his last meal.

"And closer…"

"For the record," He stepped even closer, his hand moving to her waist, the other to her back, "I will always fight for her." He went in for the kill, his face literally millimeters from hers as he pulled her to him. "That's what you said you wanted. Well I will. I'll always fight for her…" His mouth by her ear, he added one last thought. "And I'll fight for you too. Just let me fight for you."

"Fight for me?" She said, frazzled, the feel of her own warm breath emanating off his skin as he made contact.

It was heavenly. His warm lips gently grazing her plump, juicy, tender mouth… ready to suck on those lips like a lollipop, but he didn't want to be aggressive. That wasn't what it was about. That was New York and they weren't there anymore. Honestly, he didn't know what it was about; he was just compelled. Beyond reason, beyond circumstance, he was just compelled. And for lack of real rationale, so was she.

It started out slow, but it didn't make it any less passionate. The fireworks were going off with the simple touch of their lips, flesh against flesh as his hand lovingly roamed her back. They didn't expect it, but they welcomed it. Emily put up no fight when he made his move. She took the occasional glance at those pouty lips of his all day and it eased her to know he was feeling it too, though she'd question its legitimacy later.

. It was exhilarating in all its simplicity. They've had more fervent kisses. They had them together. And they've went much faster than the innocent kiss they were sharing, but it never felt more right. The kiss was every bit, if not more, meaningful than their nights together. Maybe it was simply being in the light of day that made it more sensual and exquisite, but it was right. However wrong it was, it was right.

They didn't know why they did it. Well, they did. There was this magnetic force that just pulled them together from time to time, but they didn't know why they gave in… again. The both had more self control than that. There must've been a reason they so easily became so careless around each other. They just didn't know what that reason was, or they did and were just too afraid to admit it. They deepened the kiss, his hold on her tightening in the slightest as he tipped her back into the cushions. They lacked all control. It was the wrong place to make out like teenagers, but they wanted it. They yearned for it. And boy did it feel good

So they let it happen. And it wouldn't go any further. A little petting and a simple kiss… They were in his office after all, but they needed the hold on each other. Besides, it was more than they ever could've asked for from such a tiny act of affection. A kiss… It was just a kiss. But it wasn't hurried and rough like it was in New York. And, as perfect as their first time together was, it wasn't as grand as that. But that was what made it right. Each time for them, whether kissing or sex, was different and appropriate for where they were in that moment. And each time was just as momentous as the last. And different as they were, there was a running theme through it all. They felt safe with each other. Above and beyond the deceit and complication and mistrust they were dealing with, there was this primal instinct to just hang on to each other like a life raft and believe in that.

It was a lot to put on a kiss. But the movement of his face against hers, his lips on her neck and mouth, hers doing the same, his smoothed, shaven skin brushing against her cheek… The way she moved in to nip at his collar then gave him a chance to follow up… They just knew what the other wanted and needed. At least in the moment, like all their _moments_ they had the perfect balance of give and take. They gave and they took, but they weren't greedy. They were just right.

"Hey guys, we wanted to know if you wanted to grab something to eat with us." They didn't hear anyone come in. Truth was, they didn't hear much of anything but the sounds of their own heartbeats and heavy breathing. "Am I interrupting something?"

**No promises, but I'm going to try to have 2 updates before Christmas. There will definitely be one, but I'm hoping for more. Also, I hope everyone (in America) had a nice Thanksgiving. **

**As promised, I did the one shot. I think it turned out ok. Thank you for everyone who read **_**A Place to Call Home**_**. I enjoyed writing it, and it kind of brought my muse back (not that I lost it, just sparked it more). So, I might do it again if we make it to 250 reviews, though, I'm not asking for them. If it happens, great. If not, I'm just grateful people read this. **

**Also, I feel a little stupid for saying this, but with the Author's notes and everything, I don't remember which comments for ch 25 I already responded to, so if I miss yours, don't take it personally. My brain's just a little fried at the moment. But, I'm pretty sure I got everyone. Be patient with me. I'm trying to get back on track. **

**greengirl82**** This chapter isn't the longest, but I think I fit a lot into the words I used. And thank you, again, for being so understand. I get mad at myself when I see how much time has passed, but sometimes, I just can't help it. I will continue to try (and usually fail) to be quick about it, but it is what it is. **

**rmpcmfan**** Wouldn't that be nice? Press a button or say a few words and magically, they're all put together and figuring things out? To answer your questions, yes, I think they are all a little suspicious, but at the same time, there was so much else going on that it didn't really register. And, they don't really have reason to be too suspicious. Other than JJ and Garcia, no one really knows too much about Mystery man. And Rossi is always that know all, see all, but keep quiet kind of guy… right? Let's see what happens as she is around them more at work.**

**Cinnamonfa**** I love meddling Clyde too! I seem to use birthdays quite a bit in this fic, but it seems like the most logical reason to have all the characters I need in one place. I don't know. Plus, kids' birthdays can be ridiculously cute (though sometimes very annoying). Hotch was right. Two stubborn people is a brick wall make. That keeps things interesting though. I think they're slowly making progress. What do you think?**

**CalleighJ**** I'd imagine it would take a while to get through this story. Super long and we're not even done yet, but I like it like that. I'm extremely happy I could turn you into a Hotly shipper. That's a very high compliment. And thank you for the kind words. An ego boost never hurts. Also, thank you for the one-shot prompt and being the 200th reviewer. I hope I did your idea justice. **

**dcatt**** Believe me when I say I hate making you wait for updates. I know it doesn't appear that way, but I do. And I sympathize with you for my absence. I only hinted at Haley's reaction in this chapter. There's a whole other part of it that will come into play in another chapter. I like to keep people around. Should Jack know next? Or maybe Charlie? Or someone else completely? I don't know. What would be most interesting? Here's a little insight (Spoiler Alert) Charlie will find out in just a few chapters, but I don't know if it'll be how people expect it to be… whatever that means… Thank you for loving the UT world with me! I love my little bubble of Hotly angst and Charlie goodness.**

**HPforever-after**** Hotch is changing, they all are in ways. But you're right. There will be some residual jealousy there. Maybe from both sides? And they are going to have to get over that. I think that Clyde and Aaron have a lot of similarities. They want the same things for Emily and Charlie; they just don't know how to be with each other. It's another thing for them to figure out. But once they do, they could get along swimmingly. Honestly, if they weren't both such pigheaded alpha males, I'd see them as friends. **

**HGRHfan35**** A girl does need that at times. For me, it's sitting in front of a screen typing word after word. That's a good way to characterize Clyde. Fairy godfather. My intention was never for him to get in the way. He is the peacemaker, the driver. He is fiercely protective because he had been there through it all, but he really does just want what's best. Hotch did steal the candles! Lol He had to find a way out somehow. And, come on, isn't seeing the ex a little panicked just a little bit of a bonus? He has to have a clever, kind of evil side too. All he did was hide some candles… What do you think about the Haley portion of this chapter? I left a lot of it out for later, but some of it's out there. He told her… Is he nuts? I think so. How could he not be? He's living in the land of women… He's drowning in them and all the baggage. And hurt feelings are a definite. But whose will be hurting? And I believe her reaction is true to character. You'll see it soon. **

**Emilyhotchnerforever**** I sent you a message. Did you get it? I believe I answered your questions as best I could. We will see Sean and Hotch's mom and Elizabeth again. Mick probably won't show up, but there's room for possibility there. I apologize that I said I'd update Sunday and didn't. Something came up and I just got back. So I apologize again, for that and for just generally taking so long. **

**leahloahla**** Thank you! Clyde isn't gone. I love him too much. He'll be back, but it was sad. Especially Charlie. She loves him. And Emily's going back to work. That should be interesting right? It will be hard, but, in the end, I think it will be good for her too. She needs her work. They all do. **

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**


	27. Move Forth and Step Back

_I do not own Criminal Minds, only the characters I have created in that world._

**Tell me how much you love me because I updated twice in less than a week. Or, you know, tell me you love me because I'm super depressed and need a pick me up. As stupid as it may seem to some people, I lost my dog Friday. He was as much a part of my family as my brother is (maybe more so because, most days I'm not sure I like my brother) and now he's gone. I grew up with him. Had him since I was 12 after a year of begging. He greeted me every morning at my bedroom door and every night he waited for me to give him a treat before he went to bed. He never met anyone he didn't like and nine years just isn't enough time. So RIP Happy (the most appropriately named dog ever). **

**However, lucky for the readers out there, with my grief I become very isolated which is great for my writing because I like to throw myself into a project. This is the project I chose. The chapter's not quite as long as the last few, but I had to end it where I did.**

Chapter 27: Move Forth and Step Back

They broke the kiss, just barely, and stared into each others' eyes. Little space separated their bodies, one of her legs was strewn over his and, despite all of that, despite where they were, they didn't want to detach. Instead, they just gave each other those questioning looks, and stayed exactly where they were. That was, until the door was opened.

Their breaths were deep from lack of oxygen and their faces flush with heat and their heartbeats thumped rapid with passion. They didn't even hear the commotion outside the room. They were simply confined to the moment happening within the four walls that encased them. Because of that, they missed the click of the locks unlocking and the rustling of the handle as the door was opened. They didn't move. Not yet…

Not even when someone spoke did they break apart. "Hey guys, we wanted to know if you wanted to grab something to eat with us." The words didn't register. The presence didn't register. But, lucky for them, the view for whoever was there was a side shot. They'd see the back of Hotch's head and, possibly, Emily's stunned face. The distance between them, or the lack there of, wouldn't be measurable from that angle. So they'd see and innocent conversation taking place. Nothing more… Clearing their throat, the voice spoke again, "Am I interrupting something?" Yes.

That they heard. They had to pull apart, Emily slyly pulling her leg from his and sliding away from him. "No, not interrupting." He answered without looking. "JJ?" Hotch spoke. "How'd you get it? The doors were locked."

"I know." She said as she examined them carefully. They looked a mess. Emily's face was turned away. A hand on her face, she looked toward the wall; anywhere but at JJ. And Hotch's hair was tousled and his lips were wet. What the well were they doing? "Yours was the last door they got open on our floor. There was some sort of malfunction and they had to do," she shook her head, "something. I don't know, but they got it open. Everyone else is already out. We were waiting to see if you wanted to join us for dinner. It feels like it has been a long day. We could all use a stiff drink and a good meal."

"Yeah…" He said, not really paying much attention. He stole a glance toward Emily, but she was still looking away shyly, hiding the blush of embarrassment and a holding a hand to her tingling lips. She honestly didn't know if she was capable of talking.

"Do you guys want to come?" JJ asked. They seemed to be in a trance, barely acknowledging her being there.

Looking away from Emily and shifting toward JJ, he stood and said, "I appreciate the offer, but I've had a long day. I think I'm just going to grab what I need and head home. I do appreciate the offer though. Tell everyone to have a good time and next time we go to the bar, the first round's on me."

"I'm sure they'll hold you to it." She moved a little further into the office, peering at her friend, waiting for response. "What about you Em? You in?"

Emily tried to shake it off; shake off all she was feeling and just clear her mind of the thoughts she was thinking. Clearing her throat, she too stood and looked to JJ. Plastering on a kind smile and brushing the stray hair behind her ear like she always did when she was feeling a little uncomfortable, Emily responded. "Umm…" She looked to her watch trying desperately to stay focused for the few seconds JJ would be there, but her mind kept drifting. It was impossible. "I have a kid at home that will be every happy I'll be able to take her to the bookstore today. I've already missed picking her up from school; I don't want to be too late. So, as fun as a night out with the gang sounds, I'm going to have to say some other time. Thanks though." She was surprised she even managed to get that out and coherently too. It took all she had not to just look to Hotch and ask what that was. She didn't know what that was.

"Of course. I bet this wasn't what you were expecting for today."

"Definitely not." She loved JJ, but she just wanted her to go.

"Well, ok." JJ nodded, taking stock of the room's occupants one last time, eyeing them suspiciously. "I'll see you tomorrow." She finally said, not missing the awkward atmosphere that took over. Leaving them alone, with one last look back, she made a call home and then joined the others.

A silence had settled over the dark haired parents. Neither knew how to start, and even if they did, they didn't know how to make sense of it. So the only way they handled it was by looking for the other to start. There inlayed their biggest issue. They never knew what came next and they weren't apt to deal with that. They needed control in their situation and not having it bothered them. They were also bothered that they weren't bothered by that kiss. They should've been, right? Sure, maybe New York may have been a mistake, but that kiss wasn't. They weren't in the right state of mind to be jumping into bed together then. They were riding a wave driven by a mountain animosity and anger; the sex was merely a way to release that without a crash. But there, in his office, they were perfectly sober not one drop of alcohol in their systems. There were no overwhelming feelings of resentment and betrayal. It was just them, in a room, stuck with each other and their thoughts. What did that mean?

And how much more of it could they escape? They weren't exactly stealth all the time. They kept their past a secret and their present a mystery, but the fact that they weren't caught, the fact that JJ didn't really see anything…. It was a pure stroke of luck. Each time they did what they did and didn't get caught was pure good fortune on their part. Or maybe it was bad luck. It allowed them to coast through it. If they were caught, they'd be forced to confront it head on.

For some reason, they just couldn't do that. That would make things too easy; too simple, and that wasn't them. So they stayed there in wait, hoping the other spoke first. Time passed; not a lot, but enough. And then Aaron finally spoke. "So that was…"

"That was nice…"

"But it shouldn't…"

Not wanting to hear him say it was a mistake or that it shouldn't have happened, Emily cut him off and quietly said, "It was really nice to see you smile and laugh today." Physically and mentally, she didn't know if she could handle him telling her it was a mistake. They made many mistakes. That didn't need to be one of them. "You should really do it more often." He just looked to her, saying nothing. "We're going to make this work… For Charlie… and Jack. But I have to go. Bye Hotch." She leaned in, standing just slightly on her toes, and placed a delicate kiss on his cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow Aaron." Then, with a slight brush of her hand over the place her lips just vacated, she left. Rushing to her desk, she grabbed her bag, and left as quickly as she could. She wasn't running… No, she did too much of that already. She was just buying time. She was buying time for them both to figure it out; whatever it was… and whether they really wanted to push those boundaries.

"Emily! Wait!" But she didn't and he didn't stop her. He just watched her leave before forlornly collecting his things to leave. It was the first time in a while he'd be home before six and he was going home to an empty house. No Haley and Jack, no Emily and Charlie; just him alone. Wonderful…

Meanwhile, the other BAU members, the ones not wrapped up in the plot of a telanovela, were seated around a table at a local eatery, sitting back sipping beer and wine, enjoying each others' company. "So, are you boys sick of each other yet? I mean, a whole day with Reid's brain, Morgan's mouth, and Rossi's sarcasm… Sounds like a long one to me."

"I'll have you know, we had a good time. It was party central. The only thing missing from our love fest was a little something from the female persuasion."

"Sometimes I wonder how such a god of the male form could be so obnoxious. If I didn't just want to eat him up, I don't think I'd talk to him."

"Of course you would Penelope. We just fit. That's how this works."

JJ watched the table interact and allowed her thoughts to drift. What were Hotch and Emily doing in that office? What had she caught them doing when she walked in? She knocked first, but they didn't seem to hear it. And she used the word caught for a reason. Flushed cheeks, wide eyed expressions when she showed up, embarrassment or shame all over them, Emily could barely look at her and Hotch could barely follow the dialogue… Yeah, she caught them in the middle of something alright. She just wasn't sure what that something was. Maybe she was being paranoid. After narrowing the suspect pool down to two men, one of them her boss, she was suspicious. But she did catch them in a weird position. It could've been the angle she had, which was the only reason she didn't read too much into it, but she could've sworn Emily was practically in his lap. What the hell was going on?

Ideas were one thing. Suspecting Hotch to be the father without any proof was just her imagination running wild. Or so she thought. It seemed crazy before; so farfetched. She thought she was seeing things where there was nothing to see; misreading innocent cues and interpreting things the wrong way. She thought it was in her head. But Garcia proved her right. Or was it wrong? She turned JJ's hearsay into tangible evidence. And she didn't know what to make of it. Was it possible? Like really, truly possible? How did a team of profilers miss that? Then again, how'd they miss the biggest chunk of Emily's life? A tiny person was overlooked for years. They missed a lot. Was it possible Emily was just that good? The CIA trained their agents to lie and do so believably… But Hotch? Their team was a disaster waiting to happen.

"You're thinking too hard for a night out with friends. Something going on JJ?" Rossi asked with concern. He saw the wheels turning and her face turn serious.

"What would happen if two members of the team were together?"

"Romantically?"

"Yes, I mean, I know it's not allowed, but what would happen?"

"Well, it depends on what kind of mood Strauss is in and who knows about it. See someone you like? Thinking about trading Will in for an FBI model?"

She laughed. "No, nothing like that."

"Then what is it? We've had a weird day and we came here to relax before going home to whatever or whoever and you're not relaxing."

"I am."

"You're not."

"If there were two people in our unit that were together, who do you think it'd be?"It wasn't the right question to ask, but she was curious. She needed to know if they saw what she saw.

"Oh, that's easy!" Garcia chimed in. Rossi and JJ didn't even realize the rest of the table started paying attention to them. "It'd be me and thunder from down under… Chicago style."

"Aw, Baby girl, I had no idea." He teased.

"Oh, we could all pair off. Me and hot stuff. JJ and boy wonder. Emily and Hotch." JJ's head popped up in attention. She nearly dented Garcia's leg with a kick. "Ow…" Yeah, maybe she deserved that. "I mean. Rossi could flounder between Jayje and Em. They could have an alternating ménage à trios. Or, he could admit that he has a little something going on with mean old boss lady and we could call it a day."

"There's nothing going on with Strauss."

"Numerically speaking, workplace relationships make up…"

"I don't think I want those numbers. You'll follow it up with some depressing stats about how often it doesn't work out and I'd really like to keep my innocent mind all bright and shiny with the possibility of love. And Kevin and I kind of work together… So let's not go there."

"Ok Garcia. Let's play this game. Emily's the only single woman on our team, if she were to date one of us, which one would it be?"

"Oh god. What did I start?" JJ asked herself, sinking into her chair wishing she could take back the last five minutes.

"I'd say Reid. They're both nerdy and he has a boy band feel to him. She would be into his brains. Obviously she's into geniuses, have you met her kid? Have something to tell us Pretty Boy?" Before Reid could dignify that with a response, Garcia cut in.

"Morgan, don't be stupid. Emily's not the type to rob the cradle. She likes them older; more mature."

"Got it, no jailbait."

"Emily would so kick our ass for even having this conversation."

"JJ's right. And I'm not jail bait. I'd make and excellent suitor."

As they went back and forth about what was right and wrong about Reid and Morgan, and even Rossi as potential mates for Emily, JJ just let her thoughts waft again. She didn't know how Garcia was ignoring the elephant in the room, but she seemed to be doing a poor job of it. This was why, when Morgan innocently said, "It will never happen, but if I had to pair up two people on this team it'd be Hotch and Em. She'd look better on my arm, but since we know that's not a possibility, I'd pick him." JJ nearly choked. What did she get herself into? She opened the door and they all decided to bulldoze the wall that held it.

"You ok?" Rossi asked as they continued to ignore the talking around them.

"What? Fine." JJ responded coolly.

"You think something's going on with them?"

"What? With who?"

"Emily and Aaron." He said flatly. He was old, not daft.

"No." She answered immediately. "Why? Do you?"

"I don't know what it is, but I'm smart enough to know that there's something going on in both their lives. Whether it's connected or not, I'm not sure. Give me a while to observe them together and I'll get back to you on that one." Please don't…

"I don't think it's anything." She tried to cover for Emily. Whether she needed to or not, JJ felt she should clean the mess she was making.

"I'm sure it's not." He consoled her; aware of the distress she was feeling. "But, for the record. I don't see the big deal with fraternization. As long as people remain objective, it shouldn't be an issue. We all spend so much time together, that the relationship might actually work. Maybe then the bureau divorce rates would take a dive."

"Aren't you the reason those rules even exist?"

"I plead the fifth."

JJ was happy she could steer the conversation away from that topic from that point on, but she nicked open a can of worms and anything could come of it. Searching for answers wasn't something she should have done. Emily would've told her in time. And, clearly, there were very good reasons why she said nothing. To top it off, she knew that, if Hotch really was Charlie's father, JJ had a problem with that. He made her cry. He made stoic Emily openly cry. He didn't want to be a part of Charlie's life. He turned them away. He just… He hurt Emily and she was not ok with that. And she didn't know how she'd handle knowing that if she had to deal with him. She needed to get out of there. She needed Henry hugs and family time. That would make the crazy better. And Henry should've been home from his friend's house by then. Yeah, she needed home.

"I think it's time for me to head out." JJ stood from the table. "See you tomorrow?" She reached into her purse for her wallet as everyone said their goodbyes, when Rossi stopped her.

"Go, I have this covered. Dinner's on me tonight."

"Are you sure?"

"Let me do this. I'll let you buy next time."

"You got it. Thanks. Bye guys." With a final wave, she went home to be greeted by her beautiful boy and his father. Thinking about Will made her grateful. Hotch, or Milo as the case may be, learned about their child and turned her away. Will didn't do that. He stuck around. Together they made a life as a family. How did she get so lucky? Why couldn't everybody have what she had?

"Hey JJ. How was work?" Will asked her as he took her coat.

"Interesting." She answered as she greeted him with a peck on the lips. "I just needed to see my boys."

"Tough day?"

"Not in the way you're thinking. I'll tell you about it over cookies." She held a small bakery bag full of treats she picked up on her way to work that morning.

"We get cookies!" Henry yelled.

"Come on. Let's get some plates to put them on."

"You're the best Mama!" That just about made her day. She took his hand and guided him into the other room. Everything else could wait until tomorrow.

Emily, on the other hand, couldn't just push it all away. Her lips still tingled with the warmth of his touch. The words that should've been said still sat on the tip of her tongue. But what she focused on most was what she was sure he was going to say. _"We shouldn't have done that."_ And maybe they shouldn't have. But who says? Who says it shouldn't have happened? Whose place was it to judge or preach? Why was she so confused? Honestly, she had to admit, it probably shouldn't have happened. It was nice. It was more than nice. It was great; perfect even. But they were at work when it happened; kind of. It was a high adrenaline type situation and it possibly got the best of them. Maybe they just let the pent up whatever take over. But it did feel nice.

Trying to put it behind her, Emily pulled into her driveway and got out of the car. "You're home!" The loud call was what she was greeted with; that and a very big smile.

"I said I would be." Emily assured her with a hug. "How was school?"

"It was fun. Did you have a good day too?"

"I had an interesting day, but do you know what I remembered?"

"What?"

"A little girl told me she wanted to go to the bookstore. Do you know who she is?"

"Me! I want to go."

"Homework done?"

"Yup."

"Did you eat?"

"No, we were waiting for you silly."

"Ok, where's Sarah?"

"She's right here." Sarah greeted them from the doorway. "Hi Emily."

"Hi Sarah." She said with a kind smile. "Go get your shoes on and a sweater."

"Ok. Bye Sarah!" Charlie yelled as she scattered. Emily put her bag down and quickly changed her shoes as she chatted with Sarah and waited for Charlie. Once the child was ready, the Prentiss girls escorted Sarah out and made their way to the bookstore.

Charlie got a few new books and Emily got some too. While one of them was for pleasure; something to take on flights or read when she soaked in the tub, the others were more out of need. Charlie was struggling with everything they had been through. She was having trouble accepting Emily going back to work and understanding that bad stuff wasn't always going to happen. After the talk they had that morning before she left and even the night before, Emily was finally seeing it. Now she just had to figure out the best way to handle it. And, whatever else was on her mind, Charlie always took precedence. She considered taking her to a children's psychologist, but Emily considered that the next step. First, she wanted to find a book and see if that helped; try to find a way to get her through without the aid of an outside contractor. If that didn't work, she wasn't above asking Lozano for a reference.

Finding a few books she thought could be useful, she and Charlie paid and made their way home. Together, they had dinner and read through one of the new books. Emily was doing her best to make things as easy as possible while keeping her mind focused; distracted from all things tall, dark, and orally gifted… She thought about calling him, asking him if he meant it was a mistake. She needed to hear it whether she wanted to or not. But could she really hear it? What did she want?

That was neither here nor there. She had more important things to focus on. So that night, thoughts of Aaron out of her head, or being avoided, she read through one of her books. She'd find a way to help Charlie understand and get her to see that she didn't need to be traumatized. Emily wasn't going anywhere; not if she could help it. But damn it if Hotch didn't invade her thoughts every few pages or so.

And the same went for Aaron. He wasn't reading books or taking Charlie shopping, but Emily was on his mind. How could she not be? It was a surprisingly good day given the situation. Being locked in with her got them talking and they needed that. Open and continual communication was important in any relationship; even the friends' only kind of relationship. And that was what they had. Except, that led to the kissing and sex. And he liked the kiss, but he couldn't figure out why he did it. He didn't understand what possessed him to first lean in and make contact. He didn't know why he was so driven toward her. But they were where they were. He just wished they weren't interrupted. Though, he was glad it didn't seem that JJ saw much of anything. Luck seemed to be on their side. He didn't know how or why, but it was.

Then Emily fled. Why? He had an urge to reach out for her hand as it moved from his face just to keep it there; to keep her there. But he didn't. He let her go. And she didn't even let him say what he was going to say. It shouldn't have happened at work. However great it was, and it was, it shouldn't have happened there. That was all he was going to say, but she cut him off. He assumed it was because she regretted it. Of course she did, just like New York. That, she made perfectly clear, was a mistake and every time it was brought up since she changed the subject. He just kept messing up with her. It was so unlike him. He had never been so inept at anything in his life. But with Emily, he was like a fumbling idiot.

So after work, he did what he always did when she was on his mind and he had some time to kill. He went running. The mini marathon he wanted to run was just a little more than two months away, and the running helped him figure things out. Rarely did it ever lead him to answers, but for a short while it made him feel like it did. And it did clear his mind a little. So he ran; this time upset that she felt they were a mistake. Maybe they were a continuous mistake, but he wouldn't take it back. He still wasn't ready to admit it, and neither was she, but they both liked the way the other made them feel. They liked their touch and company and everything that was the other, but they were just too stubborn to truly see it and allow themselves to feel it. But again, that was another issue they were unconsciously working on; unconsciously working toward each other.

Tuesday morning, each member of the team received an early call from Hotch. He explained to them each what the previous day's events were about. It was a series of unfortunate accidents that led to a larger issue. The new security sucked. And because of that, all nonessential personal was not to report in. If they didn't have an active case to be working on or something emergent, they were to stay home so the security system could be revamped once more. They were going back to their old system, just a newer version. He told them, if a case came in that required their attention, he'd give them another call. But barring that, they had a day off to do with whatever they chose. They all appreciated it. He saved the call to Emily for last.

"Hotch?"

"Hi Emily."

"Is something wrong?" She asked, worried that he might want to talk about the other day.

"No, I was just calling to let you know you won't be needed at work today."

"What? You can't do that Hotch. What happened yesterday should have no effect on me as an agent. I'm not incapable of doing my job and neither are you. Don't punish me for something that never happened."

"What are you talking about Emily? No one's coming in so they can install the new security features and get rid of the disaster that's in there now." Obviously he didn't word it right in the first place.

"What?" She worked herself up for nothing.

"No one's coming in today. Not just you."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I overreacted."

"It's ok Emily. I actually wanted…"

"Mommy?" Charlie's voice made him stop. He could hear her though the phone.

"What do you need Charlie bear?"

"Can we have pancakes today?"

"Sure. I'll be right down. Put your back pack by the door and I'll be down in a second."

"Ok mommy."

"I'm sorry Hotch. What were you saying?"

"I said that we need to talk."

"I know we do, but I honestly can't right now. Later?"

"Of course. Go take care of our girl. We can talk later."

"Goodbye Aaron."

"Goodbye Emily."

It was not at all how he thought that conversation was going to go, but at least she didn't blow him off. She had legitimate reasons, that he was witness to, why she couldn't talk then. Not only was their daughter there with her, but she also had to get her fed and ready for school. It was real and it was understandable. He was part of a similar routine once. So, he wasn't being avoided… yet anyway. He could deal with that.

He'd have the rest of the day to think about it. Haley called the previous night and asked if he would take Jack to soccer sign ups. He had to be there anyway since he decided to coach again, so of course he said yes. And when he got the call from Strauss and finished informing the team, he called Haley and asked if he could take Jack for the day; evening really. She agreed. So he was just wasting time until it was time to pick up Jack from school and waiting for Emily to call. What was a man to do? Run again? He'd find something to do to pass the time. He just hoped it wouldn't be all thinking and dwelling.

Emily spent the day reading, the earlier phone call forgotten. Even with him on her mind, it truly did escape her thoughts. She was supposed to call him back. Though, she never really said she would. She said they'd talk later. Later when? That was the issue with being vague. It left things open to interpretation. But she managed to pass the time just fine. She was halfway through one book when she fell asleep that night, so she managed to finish it that morning and move on to the second. They gave some decent advice, but they were more aimed toward child trauma victims. And, while Charlie experienced trauma, she wasn't the victim of the trauma. They didn't, however, make books that explain how to deal with mommy almost dying at the hands of a sociopath and having to watch her in a coma. Still, they gave good advice, the same in each one. And Emily would give those a try. If all else failed, she'd make an appointment. Maybe she'd make one anyway. It could be good for her; for both of them.

Both Emily and Hotch surprised their children by picking them up from school. Jack rarely had that happen. Usually it was Haley, and if she was busy, Jessica; never Hotch. But he was thrilled. Seeing his dad more always made him happy. And Charlie just wasn't expecting it. She tried to remember her mother's words. Sometimes mommy couldn't be there to pick her up. Most of the time she'd have to work later, but that was ok. And it was, especially when Emily found the time to surprise her and be there right after school because it made it all that much better.

So both kids and their parents went through the routine. Homework and snacks after getting changed out of school clothes. After that, for Charlie, Emily took her to dance. She loved watching the class and seeing her girl rock it out. For Jack it meant quality time with dad, just hanging out and doing whatever. It didn't really matter what they did. As long as they were together they were happy.

After Charlie's dance class, they had to drive to the local Rec Center. It was spring soccer sign up day. JJ already took Henry earlier that day. The plan was to go together, but Emily told them not to wait. It started at four; the same time Charlie's class started. And it only went to seven. Emily wasn't going to ask them to wait until the end, when lines were usually at their slowest, just for them. But, they had to do it. It was the only day for Charlie's age group. Anyone under ten that wanted to play had to sign up that day.

When they finally got there, they had at least a half hour wait in the lines. They moved slowly because most of the parents didn't fill out the forms ahead of time, though that would've been the smart thing to do. It was already quarter of seven when it was their turn.

"Hi Ms. Prentiss."

"I told you to call me Emily Sheryl." She was a shy, younger mom to one of the girls on Charlie's team the past year. They got along fairly well. Emily sympathized with her, understood her, almost felt like that could've been her. Though Emily was much younger than Sheryl the first time she got pregnant, she still understood what challenges she had to face and what choices she had to make.

"Right, Emily." She gave a timid smile. "Charlie ready to play again?" The girl nodded, leaning into her mother's side.

"Of course, she loves it."

"Alright, well, let's get you out of here. Just sign here and here." Emily took the clip board and did as asked. "And you know the drill. If she hasn't had a physical in the last six months, she needs one. Here's the paperwork. If she has, just have the doctor fill it out and sign."

"Thanks Sheryl."

"See you at the games."

Emily was just about to take Charlie's hand and head out when she heard her name being called. "Emily."

"Jack!" Charlie yelled and ran to hug him.

"Aaron, I didn't expect to see you here."

"I didn't expect to see you here either."

"Hi Aaron." Hearing her made him smile. Putting Emily on hold, he bent down to Charlie's height and greeted her.

"Hi Charlie. Are you excited for soccer to start?"

"Yeah! Last time my shirt was a pretty blue. I want the same one."

"Awesome. I hope you get it. Maybe Jack and I can come to a game."

"Really? Did you hear mommy? Aaron and Jack want to come to my game."

"That's great Charlie."

"Mommy? Can we stay and play with Jack and Aaron?"

"I know you want to play, but it's getting late and you haven't had dinner yet."

Seeing an opportunity, Hotch budded in. "Neither have we. We were going to head out for dinner. Why don't you join us?" He really wanted her to say yes.

"Please." Charlie begged.

"Yea, please Emily. Come with me and daddy."

"How can I say no to that?"

"Great, come on." He said and led them out.

"It can't be anywhere too fancy. Charlie's wearing a tutu."

"Tutus are for girls." Jack added.

"But I am a girl. I have girl parts."

"I have boy parts."

"Mommy has girl parts too."

"Ok kids. No more talking about your parts." Emily shushed them much to Hotch's amusement as they made it to their cars.

"You never called me back." He said as he shut the door after a then buckled in Charlie.

"Crap, I knew I forgot something. I wasn't avoiding you, I just forgot. I'm sorry."

"It's ok. It wasn't an emergency. We just need to talk."

"We do, and we should. Let's just enjoy some time with our kids tonight."

"I agree. Follow us. There's this great little restaurant that Jack loves. It's a little out of the way, but the food's great. It's worth it."

"Ok. We'll be right behind you."

Once at the restaurant, they sat in a nice booth with a great window view, Charlie and Emily on one side and Hotch and Jack opposite them. They looked like the average family; perfect in their own way. Anyone who didn't know them would mistake them for a couple out for a nice meal with their two beautiful children. And, in a way, they wouldn't be mistaken. They were a family of sorts. And though they weren't a couple, they did couple-y things. They just looked the part. And it felt right. They embraced the part and made the most of it enjoying their time together. Emily helped Charlie color the placemat that was laid out on the table as Aaron and Jack talked with them. It was just so normal and average that it didn't seem like them. But that was what made it so perfect.

"Dad, did you know I finally got to see Charlie's scar? It was so cool."

"You did?" He nodded. "That's awesome bud. You know, scars can be cool because they have meaning." He looked to Emily as he spoke knowing how self conscious she was about the scar on her stomach. He saw it when they were together in New York, and he saw how she got when Charlie mentioned it in the hospital. "They tell a story. And sometimes, they save your life. So I bet Charlie's scar is beautiful because that scar came from an operation that kept her alive. It gives her character."

"Character? Like a cartoon?"

"No, it means it makes you special. It makes you Charlie. And your scars make you Jack."

"Like the one I have from when I fell off my bike?"

"Yeah, like that."

"Cool Charlie, we have character." Emily mouthed a thank you and went back to her coloring.

Food arrived shortly after that and they all began eating. Emily showed Jack the Italian way of eating spaghetti which he thought was "really awesome." Charlie was engaged in a thrilling conversation with Jack, occasionally talking to the adults at the table. And Emily and Aaron exchanged a few words as well. But they were comfortable in each other's silence and that spoke more than any words ever could. They were just enjoying the time given to them; the four of them together. What more did they need?

Unfortunately though, it was getting late and it was time to leave. Hotch needed to get Jack back to Haley's and Emily needed to get Charlie into the bath and ready for bed. The four walked out hand in hand, the two kids in the middle holding each other's and then holding on to their parent's. It was the kind of thing people saw on those cheesy, yet adorable, greeting cards and they never thought it would be them. And it wasn't really them, but, temporarily, they allowed it to be. The opened themselves up to the possibility. But then it was over. They were at the cars, kids in their seats and ready to put an end to the day dream.

"Thank you for inviting us. We had a good time." They stood in between the cars in close proximity, their eyes locked.

"Thank you for saying yes."

"We should…" Did she want to say it? "We should do this again sometime… for the kids." She had to guard herself and add that last part.

"Right, for the kids."

"Are you going to kiss?" Charlie asked as she popped her head out of an opened window.

"No Charlie." Emily answered with a hint of laughter, though her eyes never left Hotch. "We're not going to kiss. Get back in your seat and buckle up." Charlie's head disappeared back behind the window's glass.

"We're not going to kiss huh?"

"Nope, sorry."

"Well, you know how to repay a man." He joked.

"We still need to talk about the first kiss." She answered a little more seriously.

"I liked the first kiss."

"I did too. It was… It was a good kiss."

"It was a great kiss…"

"But?" She was waiting for it. She knew it was coming.

"But it shouldn't have happened. It definitely can't happen at the office."

"You're right." She hated it, but he was. And he hated it too. "But it did happen."

"Does it change anything?"

"We can't let it change anything."

"We have to figure things out with…" He gestured to the car with Charlie. "…first. Everything else comes later."

"I agree. She's always first."

"But I did have a good time."

"Me too."

"I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Bright and early."

"Good night Emily." He wanted to reach out for her. He wanted to touch her, but he stopped himself. His self control was being tested.

"Goodnight Aaron." She said quietly, reluctant to part. That would be the end of it and it was such a good night.

"Drive safely." He finally moved toward his car.

"You too." She stepped away. "Bye Jack." She called with a wave.

She wanted a proper goodbye with Aaron. She wanted the kiss at the end of a date. Honestly, it kind of felt like a date. Granted, it was a date with two extra people under five feet, but it felt like a date nonetheless; a family date. And, she had to admit, she liked the way that sounded and definitely liked the way it made her feel all warm and fuzzy. Until the end when the warm and fuzzy kind of frosted over a little… She was being delusional; those few minutes she believed they could make something out of themselves was just her being delusional. And the same went for Hotch. They both pled temporary insanity as they dabbled in dream world fantasies and then went their separate ways.

"Did you have fun Charlie?"

"Lots of fun."

"Good."

"Did you mommy?"

"Yeah baby, I did."

They drove a little longer with nothing but the hum of the car and the quiet lullaby of the radio before Charlie spoke again. "Mommy?"

"Yes Charlie?"

"How come you don't kiss anyone? Other mommies kiss. Some even kiss other mommies."

"Mommy just doesn't have anyone to kiss." As sad as it was, it was true…

Jack and Hotch had a similar conversation on the way to Haley's; minus the kissing part, but they had their own brand of awkwardness. "Did you have fun Jack?"

"Yeah. I like when you come get me from school. I didn't have to take the bus and we got to play."

"I liked it too."

"Can you do it more?"

"I can certainly try Jack. Whenever I can. Ok?"

"Ok." Jack said nothing for a while before he finally said what he was thinking. "Dad, are you and mom getting back together?"

"We talked about this Jack. Mom and I are divorced. That means we still love you, but we can't be together anymore."

"I know." He responded sadly. All kids just wanted their parents together. "Dad?"

"Jack buddy?"

"Do you like Emily?"

"Of course I like Emily, she's my friend."

"No. Do you like like her? Do you like her like Gina from school likes me? With Valentine's and cooties?"

"Gina from school likes you?" He asked surprised. Kids were just getting faster and faster at growing up. Soon they'd be married in diapers.

"She says she's my girlfriend, but I said girls are yucky. Charlie's not yucky, but girls are gross."

"Good, keep thinking like that."

"So do you like her like that? Like Gina likes me?"

"I don't know Jack. Emily's just my friend. Why don't you tell me what else Gina says?" The rest of their night was spent talking about school and Gina. He may have dodged more of that conversation, but it was still lingering in his head. It would for a while.

In fact, over the following week, that night, those conversations, and that kiss were all very present in the two profiler's minds. It was constantly something they thought about and actively tried not to. It just seemed the more they tried, the less they could. They tried to convince themselves it was nothing. And it worked for all of five minutes. They easily hid it from others, but there was no hiding it from themselves.

Everyone came back to work that Wednesday and they had their first case. It was local, thankfully, and didn't take much time to solve. There was something up with JJ though. She seemed to want to say something to Emily, but didn't, or couldn't, or maybe just wouldn't. But there was something stirring behind those big blue eyes. Thursday, Hotch called JJ and Morgan into his office and sent them to consult on a case in Pennsylvania as the others were sent to work just outside Virginia in North Carolina.

Charlie had a hard time with that. It was expected. Emily tried to ease the situation by getting Garcia to set up Skype for them on the new computer. It worked. It made it better for Charlie to see Emily ok rather than just hear it. She didn't know why she didn't think about it before. They used it to talk to Clyde all the time. Why not on cases too? There were still qualms, but it made it better. And, thankfully, they were back home the next night so they didn't have to rely on that long.

Hotch and Emily had yet to talk anymore. But was there anything left to talk about? They covered the bases. It wasn't going to happen again. That was what they both wanted… Right? They tried to make that true. Trying didn't necessarily make it true. If they were just honest with themselves and each other, it would've saved them a lot of trouble and headaches. But they wouldn't be them if they did that.

Saturday though, Saturday was interesting for both of them. Emily and Charlie spent the day Skyping; Charlie's new favorite thing. They chatted with the ambassador and Clyde. Beyond that, nothing big happened. There were a lot of quiet moments. But in those quiet moments came the most introspection. And that was dangerous. Leaving Emily to her thoughts for too long when there was so many was dangerous. And that day, her thoughts just happened to be centered on Aaron. Everything Clyde said to her… Everything that was pointed out to her… Everything that happened… It was all on her mind, spinning though her head on a loop. And it was making her crazy. For the life of her, she couldn't figure out why.

What she did know, was that if more was offered, she'd take it. It didn't make sense; not to her. She couldn't see anything coming of it. She could never see it working. After everything that happened and everything they did to each other, they still found comfort from one another. And that meant something. Not everyone could give her that.

At the end of the day, she came to a realization. She had feelings for Aaron. She wasn't sure what they were exactly or what it meant, but she knew it couldn't be good. How could she have feelings of any sort for someone who had no feelings for her? It was crazy. All of it was crazy. And she was, most definitely, crazy. And she was so very, very screwed.

She was so lost in her head that she didn't even hear the phone ring until Charlie yelled for her. "Mommy! Phone!"

Reaching for it, not bothering to check the ID, she answered, "Hello."

After some serious reflection, he came to a similar conclusion. Sitting in his home office, thinking about everything, he realized why they did what they did in New York, or at least his part of it, and why he was so angry at her all the time. He felt a little inept that it took a wrong turn in a talk with Haley and a week's worth of introspection for it to become a real idea rather than a fleeting thought. He had feelings for Emily Prentiss. That was clear. She was the only woman to entice him away from Haley during their first separation and she was the only woman worthy of the idea then too. But, he didn't know what he could do with those one sided feelings. He just didn't know. So he sat in front of his desk and attempted to work while doing his best not to think of his exchange with Haley. It didn't work.

_After a moment of collective silence, a simple name slipped from her lips. "Charlie…" It wasn't a question. It wasn't an accusation. It just was. He was shocked though. How could she have known? She met her once, twice maybe._

"_I'm sorry Haley… I'm so sorry."_

"_Aaron…" _

"_No Haley, I need you to listen to me…"_

"_Aaron…" She tried to get him to stop, but he was insistent on being heard._

"_Haley, I didn't want to hurt you. That was never my intention and I don't want this to affect us now. We've come so far. We're friends again. We don't look at each other wishing for a compromise. We're co parenting. It's working for us. We're getting along better now than we were when we were married…"_

"_Aaron, please stop."_

"_Haley?"_

"_Is it her?" She asked, her eyes wet with tears that wouldn't fall. "Is it Charlie?"_

"_She… I…" He tried to come up with some fix all phrase; something that would make the pill a little easier to swallow, but there was nothing. He thought of nothing. "Yes, Charlie is my daughter." So he gave her the truth. He owed her that. _

"_You cheated on me?"_

"_What? No. No Haley, no…" He tried to assure her._

"_How could you not have? She's not a baby Aaron. And even if she was, that still would've happened while we were together."_

"_We were separated Haley. I promise you, it did not happen while we were together. We were both at a low in our marriage. You were dating. I was… Well, I was trying to date, though I went out with one person once and we barely made it through the appetizers before she wanted to bolt…"_

"_And Emily?"_

"_Emily happened when I thought we were over."_

"_When you thought we were over?"_

"_We were months into the separation. You were going on multiple dates with the same guy and you seemed happy. I was… I don't know what I was. I thought we were taking a break so we could come back together stronger and not so focused on faults. I made an effort to get out there so I could abide by our rules, but I honestly thought it was just a breather. But you looked happy; happier than you had since I started at the bureau. So I was depressed; depressed seems the best word for it."_

"_So you slept with Emily?" She said it in anger, though her words were harsher than she meant. "Did you have a relationship with her?"_

"_It wasn't like that Haley."_

"_Then what was it like?" She questioned. She wasn't sure she wanted to know, but she needed to. She needed to know the last few years of her marriage weren't based off lies and betrayal. So she needed to hear him out. _

"_You and Jack were having a mommy Jack day because it was Valentine's Day. He was just a baby really, so I know it was nothing too crazy, but I couldn't be a part of it. And I had that fundraiser I had to go to."_

"_And Emily was there?"She remembered that day; remembered how good he looked, how that hint of red just finished it off and made him look even better. He always was so handsome. _

"_I had no thoughts of Emily going there. I should've considered her attendance because it was being hosted by her mother, but that wasn't what was on my mind. All I could think about was what I was leaving behind. My wife was happy with another man and I was losing my son."_

"_Aaron, you weren't…"_

"_In my mind I was. I was losing my family. And now, years later, I have, but I also found another one."_

"_I still don't understand Aaron. How'd you come to have this other family to play house with?" She bit._

"_We're not playing house Haley." He bit back. _

"_No, you're right. I'm sorry. I'm trying not to be the bad person here, but you're not making it easier. You're not telling me what I need to know."_

"_I'm trying. You just have to let me."_

"_Ok…"_

"_I put on the nice suit, gave Jack a kiss, and went to the party. The director asked me personally to accept the invite, so I went."_

"_And you met up with Emily."_

"_I spent most of the evening by myself, but I did see her around. I just was never close enough to tell who she was." She was beautiful though; radiant in her gown. Even knowing now what was happening with her then; why she was in such a state, he found her brilliantly beautiful, if not more so. His face illuminated without his realizing, but Haley picked up on it. "Finally, she reintroduced herself to me and we talked. She was in a similar mood. Everyone around was having a good time and we looked like we were at a funeral."_

"_So you comforted each other?"_

"_We just kept each other company. We spent some time at the bar. A lot of time actually, and then we danced… She was staying with her mother for the weekend. I ended up staying there too." No matter how well they got along, he wasn't sharing intimate details of semi forbidden sex with a future colleague and past acquaintance with his recently declared ex wife…_

"_You… you spent the night with her? That was why you didn't come home?" She wasn't angry. She had no right to be. She just… it hurt. It hurt that she wasn't the only one to give him a child. It hurt that he stayed with her instead of coming home to them. It just hurt. _

"_I did." He answered honestly. Anymore words and he feared he'd say too much._

"_It was a long time ago, but I don't think you came home until Sunday. You called and said you got called into work. You lied?"_

"_I did lie, and for that I'm sorry. In my defense, saying I was with a woman probably wouldn't have done much for our situation."_

"_That's your defense?"_

"_Not a good one; just thought I should point it out."_

"_And what? Condoms weren't an option."_

"_That's not something that needs to be discussed Haley. Just know, condoms aren't 100% and things happen. It wasn't planned."_

"_How long have you known Aaron? Did you keep this from me for five years and a pregnancy… so six years?"_

"_No. I didn't."_

"_Is that why she got a job at the bureau? To be with you? So you two could secretly raise a child together behind your wife's back?" She was working herself up. It was a natural reaction. Things weren't being processed, just barely absorbed and reacted to._

"_Haley…" He couldn't fault her for being upset. "I assure you it wasn't like that."_

"_Have you been with her this whole time?"_

"_No Haley, not once was I with her while we were together." Only when they weren't…_

_She believed him. She knew the kind of man he was, the character he held, and she believed him. "How long have you known?"_

"_I found out fairly recently."_

"_How long Aaron? I need to know. Better yet, I deserve to know."_

"_You do. You deserve honesty, and I'm going to give you that."_

"_So how long?"_

"_I found out while Emily was in the hospital. She… uh…" He didn't know how to explain how he found out. Yes, it was as simple as she told him, but as clear as those memories were, they were murky too. "She wrote me a letter that I was to receive in the event of her death." That was true. "It explained things as best as a letter could and there was a DNA test to prove it. I'm pretty sure Emily swiped an old water bottle or is the reason my toothbrush mysteriously went missing on a case. But that's that."_

"_You have a daughter." Haley said with a hint of a smile. While the situation wasn't ideal, the thought of Aaron holding a cute little girl, hugging her and wiping away tears or tickling her as she laughed; it warmed her heart. It may not have been a child they created together, but the picture was just as nice. _

"_I have a daughter; a five year old daughter who has been through hell this last year. A daughter whose life I've missed out on…"_

"_Hey, don't think like that. You've missed out on a lot of Jack's life and you were here. What would've made her any different?" He immediately looked wounded. "Oh, no, that's not what I meant. I meant that, even if you knew about her, you would've missed things. That was part of the reason I hated your job. It took you away from us so much. But you were there when you could be there and you made the most of it. That's what you have to do with her. So you missed a little time, but most of that is time she won't remember. But now that you know, you plan to be in her life, right?" He sighed internally, but Haley picked up on the change in atmosphere. "What is it? What did you do?"_

"_Emily and me… we're complicated."_

"_That's an understatement." She scoffed._

"_What does that mean?"_

"_That means you are more alike than you realize and I imagine that gets you both into trouble from time to time. But you didn't answer me. What did you do?"_

"_I was angry when I found out."_

"_Because she didn't tell you?"_

"_Yes, and because I missed so much and there was just a lot to take in."_

"_You didn't react well, did you?" She wasn't accusing him of anything, but she couldn't see that conversation going well._

"_No, not really."_

"_Tell me what happened."_

"_I took a bad situation and made it worse." He went on to explain the gist of it. Of course, he left out the intimate details and the unforgivable things he said, just like he did when talking with Sean, but he explained what he understood. He gave Haley his side. He told her about the fights and the talks and, just, everything; the good, but mostly the bad. And it was like talking to an understanding friend rather than an ex wife that should've hated him. It was a modern relationship; more evolved than most divorced couples. _

"_It seems to me, Aaron, that you both have a lot to make up for. And it's awkward and difficult, but there's a child involved. You both see it." She laughs. "And you both react in the same way. She's scared that you're not committed to Charlie and you're scared you're not enough for her."_

"_I am not."_

"_Yes you are. I know you. I remember that talk we had when we first considered having children. You didn't want to be like your dad. You've proven that you're not. You made something of yourself as both a professional and a father. And I'm proud of you, but, more importantly, your son is proud of you. And I bet if you and Emily gave it a chance, Charlie would idolize you too."_

"_I don't know about that."_

"_Have you and her decided what comes next? How you become a part of her life? Telling her?"_

"_We're working on that. Emily feels we should wait to let Charlie get used to me before just telling her. I want her to know now; right away so we can build what normally takes years to get."_

"_You just want to be her dad."_

"_I want to be her dad… I want Jack to know his sister…" He waited for her reaction. _

"_Jack has a sister…" She mused aloud. It finally clicked. Her son was her only child, but he wasn't an only child anymore._

"_He does…"_

"_It's weird you know… Thinking about it. Jack has a little sister that he doesn't know is his sister, but loves her like one. You should hear him talk about her. Henry and Charlie this… He loves her and I won't do anything to keep them from being what they are. They are siblings and they should know that, but they are just kids. Coming out right away with the truth may not be the best idea. Do you think Emily did a good job raising Charlie?"_

"_I… I believe she did, yes." He answered confusedly. Where was the relevance in that question?_

"_Then you have to trust that Emily has the kids' and your best interests at heart. Have faith that she knows what she's doing."_

"_That's easier said than done." Wasn't that the truth? They talked a little more about the situation. They talked about what to do with Jack and where he fit in with the changes. Hotch made it clear that nothing changed in respects to his son. Jack was still his son. The schedule would stay the same. The visits and calls would still be routine. He'd still coach soccer when it started later that month. He'd still be everything he was, just more. Now he'd do it with another person too. And Jack would have someone else to play with; someone else love and call family. That thought made him happy. And, believe it or not, Haley was ok with it too. They discussed telling Jack and decided that when the time was right, they'd know it. Before that, though, they had to figure out how to tell him. That was just as important if not more. _

"_I'm not going to pretend this isn't hard for me, because it is. It probably shouldn't be, but it is. I'm seeing you get a whole other part to your life and it's amazing for you and I can see it changing you, but it still hurts. However, for what it's worth, I'm happy for you." She put her hand over his atop the table."I'm really happy for you."_

_He nodded thankfully, "Me too." That was all she needed to hear to know it was true. He didn't know it at first, but he was happy about it. "Hey. How'd you know it was Charlie anyway?"_

"_She knocked on the door and I remember finding something about her so familiar. And it wasn't Emily I saw. I couldn't place it. I couldn't figure out what it was, but I guess now I know. It was you. I saw you…"_

It was the place the conversation went next that surprised him more than her initial reaction. A part of him knew Haley. He knew she'd be upset by the revelation, but happy for him too. That was what they wanted for each other; happiness. And he knew her. He knew the type of person she was; kind, loving, nurturing, and supportive most of the time. He knew there'd be some feelings, but he also knew she'd hear him out and understand once she did. And that was what he got in spades. She was more understanding than he could've hoped for. And what came next surprised him.

"_I should have seen it before, picked up on it earlier…" She was thinking aloud. Hotch just happened to be there while she was doing it. _

"_Seen what?"_

"_The way you look at her…"_

"_Charlie?" He was met with a head shake. Not Charlie… Ok?_

"_Emily." Haley responded confidently, finally looking to him, speaking to him instead of just to herself. _

"_What about her?" He was confused. _

"_The way you look at her when she's around… The way you light up when you talk about her…"_

"_I don't do that." _

"_You do Aaron. Don't you see it?"_

"_No, I don't see what you're saying."_

"_I didn't see it before either, but I do now. You have feelings for her."_

"_I don't Haley."_

"_I didn't believe it at first either. When Jack said something, I thought it was just him being a kid, but he was right."_

"_Jack said something?" She nodded. "What did he say?"_

"_When you guys came back from New York, he wanted to tell me all about it."_

"_He had a good time." He didn't see how that involved Emily. Jack spent the night with Helen. He didn't know about them. _

"_I know he did. He always has a good time with you. But all he talked about was Charlie."_

"_Well, they spent a lot of time together. The two of them and Henry were inseparable…"_

"_He said Charlie told him you look at her funny."_

"_I look at Charlie funny?" She wasn't really listening to him. She was just putting the pieces together in her head._

"_He said he didn't see it, but Charlie did. When I asked what he meant by funny he didn't even know. But then, not long after that, he said it again. He said you didn't look at her like you look at anyone else. So I asked, again, how you looked at her…"_

"_Haley, I don't follow. What did he say?"_

"_He said, 'Daddy looks at her like he used to look at you…'" _

"_Haley…" What was he supposed to say to that? What was with the women in his life saying things he couldn't respond to? It was like they were intentionally trying to gang up on him. It wasn't fair. And saying sorry just didn't seem right._

"_It's ok." She assured him. "I used to love the way you looked at me. It made me feel special. And you did it for years longer than you should have, and I was grateful for each one, but it's ok to look at her like that. If you feel something for her, you should explore it. What's holding you back?"_

"_Nothing's holding me back? There's nothing to be held back from." Clyde was buzzing in his ear again. "Ask yourself why you're in this situation. What feelings got you here?" He could hear him. Why was everyone telling him he was feeling something he wasn't? He admitted to a mutual like; an accord or a friendship of sorts between two people who work together and plan to raise a child together. Couldn't they just accept that as truth?_

"_Obviously there is Aaron. She means something to you. You have to figure out the rest. And you have to do it before it's too late…"_

Yeah, he was screwed too. But he had to do something. Something had to be done…

Pulling out his phone, he scrolled through the contacts until he found the right one and hit send. Then he waited for an answer. Receiving one, he responded, "Hi, it's Aaron… I know it's short notice, but would you have dinner with me tomorrow?" He was either going to prove himself right or wrong. He didn't know which would be better.

**So, like I said last chapter, I'm going to try to update one last time before the holidays, but no promises. We'll see how that goes. If I don't, Happy holidays everyone! Enjoy the time with family and friends. **

**123a456e**** Now you know who walked in. What do you think about that? Here's what I have to say to the rest. All will be revealed… In time. It will happen I assure you. It just won't happen overnight. Where's the story in that? Where's the build up? Keep reading. It'll come. **

**Wiggle34**** Nothing ever works out perfectly. Even in writing there's rarely a true happily ever after. But they are talking, and that's a big step I the right direction. They're complicated people in a complicated situation. I love it!**

**greengirl82**** First off, I believe Noises won a Profiler's Choice, so congrats on that. I really did find that story entertaining and laugh out loud funny. Can you believe it? I didn't make you wait forever this time. It's a miracle. I loved putting them in confined spaces. I thought about it just being Hotch and Emily in an elevator or some malfunction with his door, but I think the quarantine lockdown thing was the best choice. I'm glad you liked it too. And enjoy this chapter. **

**SouthunLady**** Thank you so much. It amazes me every time I get a review or a PM with such kind words. There are really people out there interested in my voice, taking this crazy Hotly ride with me. And I love every second of it. I'm happy to know you are liking it too. Consider this icing on the cake then. Last chapter was the present you peeked days before opening, this one's the one you wanted, and hopefully there'll be one more to make it a Christmas trifecta…**

**HPforever-after**** I love making them kiss… Yeah, that doesn't make me seem odd at all… But I do. And you're right, it was definitely JJ… You had to know it would be. She was the most suspicious. I had to make her even more so. There will be all kinds of wooing… sometime… Keep holding on for that. I enjoy a good woo fest. **

**Cinnamonfa**** Don't stress over finals. I literally used to stress to the point I'd make myself sick before tests. It's not fun. Inhale 5(seconds), hold breathe 6, release 7… That was a breathing technique I learned in psych class. If you do it four times it relaxes you. Try it, it works. If not, feel free to use this story as an escape. I do that all the time. Good news, there wasn't too much avoiding right? And yes, the coma did affect Charlie more than they thought, but that will be dealt with. **

**HGRHfan35**** I love a little romance, though, I don't believe I'm particularly good at it. I try, that's what counts. I gave them an out… because I'm like that. ;) But now you saw more of Haley's reaction. What do you think? Was it what you expected?**

**Emilyhotchnerforever**** The message should've been sent to your email or if you sign in it should say that you have one, but no big deal. I do believe the site is still cleaning out and erasing some of the hardcore M rated stuff, but I'm not really keeping track. For other sites that have fic on them, you should look through my reviews. Several were mentions. I don't believe we'll see Emily on CM in season 8, though that'd be a great surprise. I think you'll like the family time in this chapter. Enjoy.**

**Guest**** Thank you! I'm glad you like it. Enjoy the update.**

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**


	28. Dating Game

_I do not own Criminal Minds, only the characters I have created in that world._

**Third attempt at this chapter and I still couldn't get it all to fit. I just couldn't help it. Some of it I started to write and couldn't stop. Thus, the wait. But I think it was worth it. I like to consider this a post Holiday high. As we're all coming down from the rush and excitement of the New Year, I'm here to pick you up again… Like a present for no reason. (I sound like I'm high right now, but I swear, I'm not.)**

**Speaking of, hope all the holidays were great and fun for everyone. Welcome to 2013! The world is still here and maybe this year I'll finally learn to say no and not get roped into babysitting every day. **

Chapter 28: Dating Game

She was tempted to bring it up all week. Keeping her thoughts to herself was, literally, driving her mad. When Hotch sent her and Morgan to Pennsylvania, she thought it'd give her some sort of reprieve, that the distance would make it easy or make her forget what she believed she knew, but it only gave her mind more time to go there and think things over. It only made her realize how much she missed it; how much she didn't see or just ignored.

Not once did she mention it to Will other than to answer his concern by saying it was about Emily. He understood that that was all she could say; friendship confidentiality and all. She thought about talking it through with Garcia, but that didn't seem right or fair. JJ did all she could not to come out and say what the task was while they were locked in there, but Garcia knew what they were searching and chose not to be aware. And JJ wanted her to have the plausible deniability that the tech needed, because that was what Garcia was doing; forgetting what she knew and she made it look easy. JJ couldn't do that. Why wasn't it like that for her? And she could go right up to Hotch and ask, but that was asking for trouble she didn't need. That was poking a sleeping bear with a stick and expecting it to want to cuddle. It just didn't happen. Plus, if it was him, if he was Charlie's father, the anger she was carrying for the hurt he caused… Well, she liked her job too much.

The person she really wanted to talk to and needed to talk to, was Emily. She just hoped her friend wasn't too upset by the invasion of privacy. She spent most of her day considering what to do. Did she just drop by unannounced? No, they did that all the time and it usually wasn't an issue, but JJ wasn't going to barge into Emily's home and disturb the peace; especially not with Charlie there like she normally was. It was not a kid friendly conversation. She really didn't know what to say, but she needed to say something. The thoughts were festering. It was a potentially explosive secret they were keeping and she needed to know the truth if she was expected to keep it too. While she understood it, she was also upset and angry that Emily didn't tell her about all of it. Emily was secretive. That was always true, and JJ didn't know what she'd do if roles were reversed, but she did know that she'd want her best friend to lean on. And that was what JJ wanted to offer; a shoulder to cry on, an ear to bend, and a hand to hold. But she also needed answers of her own. Things needed to be confirmed. They had to rely on the trust they built and talk to each other.

And Saturday was the day for that, or at least the start of that. There was no pressure or anything. She wanted Emily to come to her, but, well, it took five years for her to meet Charlie, she didn't think tight lipped McGee was going to be dropping by for tea and baby daddy talk. So, she spent the day trying to figure out what to do. In between playing with Henry, cooking, and cleaning, she found herself wandering to the phone. Her hand would always reach over, hover for a second, and then she'd walk away. She just didn't know what would cause fewer problems; confronting the issue or hoping for selective amnesia. Realizing that the latter wasn't likely, though she and Emily did take quite a few hits to the head in the line of duty, JJ finally gave in. It took her all day to get there, but as the night sky grew more present, she managed to find the phone in her hand and her fingers dialing. She was only waiting for an answer. "Hello."

"Emily, it's JJ." She responded firmly; not aggressive, but not her usual nurturing tenor either.

"Hey Jayje, what's up?"

"Are you busy right now?"

"Not really, no. Why?"

"We need to talk." Emily wasn't sure what the tone of her voice meant. It was nervous and scared, but almost a little mad too.

"Ok. Is something wrong?" JJ heard the concern, but she couldn't school her emotions. It was all there and she couldn't help it. She couldn't compartmentalize like the brunette could. Wouldn't know how even if she tried…

"I'd rather talk in person." That didn't soothe the nervous fluttering in her stomach. Something was wrong…

"Is everything ok?"

"Everything's fine. I think. I'm not sure." She fumbled for the right words. She didn't want to alarm Emily. Nothing was truly wrong, but there was something important that they needed to talk about. Maybe it wasn't her business, but… No, it was her business. If Emily and Hotch had a child, fine, then they did. And if they wanted a relationship, well, JJ would support them. That was what friends did. She wanted them happy. But if her boss was being a deadbeat dad and hurting her friend, well she couldn't support that. She wouldn't. And she couldn't sit back and watch the train wreck in slow motion. But they weren't there yet. First she needed answers; answers she deserved to know.

"Is it Will? Or Henry?" She asked seriously. JJ sounded stressed and Emily didn't know why. But when she received no response she tried being a little playful. "Do I need to come over with supplies? Will we be burying a body? I know where an incinerator is…"

"It's… nothing like that." There was no playfulness, no witty retort, none of their lighthearted moments, and that was disconcerting for Emily. "We just… I have something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Oh, alright… What is it?" Nervousness encased both parties. "Do you want to come over?" Emily asked hesitantly. "I'd come to you, but Charlie's watching a movie and getting ready for bed."

"Right. No, that's ok. We don't have to talk tonight." She was backtracking, second guessing whether amnesia was the route to take after all and if she really wanted to step deeper into the quicksand. There wasn't always a way out.

"Are you sure? It sounds important."Emily noticed the tired voice. JJ had something on her mind. That much was clear. But what?

"Yeah… yeah, I'm sure… Tomorrow?" She had to do it, but not with the kids around. Public place Jayje… Do it in public.

"Sure, ok. You want me to come over?" Emily didn't know what JJ wanted to talk about, but she knew she felt unsettled.

"Umm, no. Why don't we go out? Just the two of us."

"I can probably swing that."

"Coffee at the bakery we love so much? I'll buy you a chocolate croissant."

"I'll buy. Just name the time." She didn't know if she had reason to be, but she was scared.

"Henry needs new shoes. Grew out of the last pair already so we're going shopping. Sometime after that. Three work for you?"

"That should be fine."

"Ok, great. See you then." JJ was about to hang up when Emily spoke again.

"Hey Jayje!"

"Yeah Em?"

"Are you sure everything's alright? It's just…" Just what Emily? "You sound… Are you ok? Really ok?"

"Yeah. Everyone's fine. I'm good. Talk tomorrow. Night Em."

"Night JJ." She responded though JJ already hung up. Yup, something was going on. She added it to the list of things to worry about. Hanging the house phone up Emily said, "Ok, well that was strange." And it was, but there was no time to think it over. She needed to get Charlie in the bath and into bed so she could make a phone call. Someone had to watch Charlie while she was with JJ. But first, it was Charlie time.

In an apartment not too far away from the Prentiss residence, Hotch was making a call of his own. Pulling out his cell, he scrolled through the contacts until he found the right one and hit send. Then he waited for an answer. Receiving one, he responded, "Hi, it's Aaron…"

"Hi Aaron, I'm so glad you called."

"I know it's short notice, but would you have dinner with me tomorrow?" He was either going to prove himself right or wrong. He didn't know which would be better. But he was going to find out either way.

"Like on a date?"

"Yes, exactly like a date."

"I don't know." She played hard to get. "I gave you my number nearly two weeks ago and you're just calling me now." There was quiet. He felt like an idiot, but he wasn't sure he was ever going to use that number. He liked her, sure, and she was nice, but if people weren't telling him what he felt and just let him feel it, he probably wouldn't have called. "What did you have in mind?"

"I was thinking, if you like French food, we could go to Montmartre. I've never been, but I've heard good things."

"I've heard of it."

"Do you like French food?" He was no good at the flirting and the dating. He turned her down when they first met after one of his runs. But he ran into her several times since, many times actually, then and she decided he should have her number. "Call me if you change your mind" she said after he kindly refused her advances. They knew each other for weeks at that point and he wasn't ready.

"Love it."

"So dinner?" He was hopeful. He was putting himself out there and he hoped she would respond to him.

"I'd like that. What time were you thinking?"

"Seven. I have an early day Monday."

"That's ok. Seven's good."

"Should I pick you up?" He was a gentleman.

"I have to go into work for a few hours. Why don't I meet you there?"

"Ok." He preferred to be a bit more chivalrous; pick her up, drop her off, walk her to the door. But that worked. "What time do you have to work until tomorrow?"

"I just have to put in a few hours. I'll just head to the restaurant from there."

"If another day works better…" Cold feet… Could he have cold feet about something so trivial?

"No, no tomorrow's good." She assured him.

"So, I'll see you tomorrow Beth."

"I'm looking forward to it. Goodbye Aaron."

"Bye Beth." Hanging up, he didn't know if he was relieved or scared. People kept telling him what he was feeling, and maybe they were right, but he needed to figure that out on his own. Dating seemed like the place to start. If Haley could do it, so could he. Hopefully… He was anxious. The dating game wasn't something he actively participated in for well over a decade. He was married. With a wife, date nights were planned and usually just consisted of a little kid free time and a nice dinner. Still, he was confident he'd pull through without too much injury; or he was trying to be.

Whether it went well or not, it was something he had to do. Putting himself out there was the only way to tell what was real and what wasn't. He may have felt something for Emily, and he still wasn't admitting he did, but he needed to know it was true and not just something continually put in his head by everyone else. Or, if he had it his way, he'd realize it was just everybody else and their lives would remain only just complicated instead of potentially explosive. That was what he wanted. Simplicity was too much to ask for and so far out of the realm of reach, but something akin to it would've been nice.

Being the type A personality he was, Hotch decided to prepare early. He made a reservation at Montmartre, which wasn't as hard as he thought it'd be, but still difficult; something he should've considered earlier. It was a successful restaurant, reservations weren't easy to come by, but he had some pull. He didn't need to use it, but it helped to have a brother who just opened a fairly successful restaurant; not that he'd ever mention to Sean that he used his name, or that people actually knew his name… Anyway, that made getting a table with a great view of the patio much less of a hassle. After that, he ironed his outfit for the next day; white dress shirt, black tie, and navy suit. He almost went with the red tie, but he just couldn't. He wore it all the time. He wore it Monday, but he couldn't wear it for Beth. It was stupid, but it was what it was.

With everything ready, dinner eaten, files filed and put away for the night, Aaron had some time to kill. First thing first, he had to call Jack before it got too late. Doing that always made the day feel complete. Though, it still didn't feel quite that way. There was Charlie too. And he thought about making the call, his hand reaching for the phone before thinking better of it and pulling away. He wanted to, but he wouldn't. Would it make sense to a child for a friend to call and say goodnight; a friend that wasn't Clyde? He didn't want to confuse her. Pushing the thoughts away, just holding on to the thought of one day, he changed into his loungewear, and settled in for some crappy TV watching and a little light reading.

Emily too settled into bed, completely unsettled by JJ's call and the thoughts that whirled within. She looked to Charlie beside her. The girl was probably too old to still be sleeping in her bed, but she couldn't help but love it. It reminded her of the good in the world, the reason to get up in the morning, why she breathed the air she breathed. And it wasn't every day. It didn't matter what was normal or right; it was what was best for them. Truth was she wouldn't want it any other way. As long as Charlie wanted to be there, she'd be there. And Emily was more than ok with sharing her bed. It would keep the mattress from wearing too unevenly…

Charlie had been asleep for an hour or so and Emily decided to call it an early night as well. She'd try to finish the books she bought until she was tired enough for sleep. With just the dim light of her bedside lamp illuminating the room, Emily slowly pulled the covers up until it encased both her and her daughter in a fluffy cocoon. Running her hand through her daughter's thick mane, she made sure Charlie was resting comfortably before reaching over for her book. In doing so, she glanced at the clock. Ten. "Shi… Crap." It was ten at night and she forgot to call someone to watch Charlie while she met JJ.

Putting her book back down, she searched for her phone. Sighing, she tried to think of a feasible option. She could ask Will, assuming he'd be home with Henry while she and JJ were discussing whatever, but she didn't want to intrude on their time together. It would just be another favor to ask when he already offered to watch her when he could as she travelled with work. So no, she wouldn't be asking Will. Morgan and Garcia both had plans for their weekends, so they were out. Who knew what Rossi was up to? As a last resort, she'd call him. And Sarah was off duty. She could always ask Reid. She knew he'd do it, but she suddenly had a better idea.

She sent off a quick text. _Are you awake?_

It took a little time, but she received a response in the affirmative, so she pressed all the right keys and waited for the answer. "Emily."

"Aaron. I'm glad you were still awake."

"I'm not that old. It's not bedtime yet." He joked. He was in bed though, so technically it was bedtime.

"Right." She let the word linger. It felt… It just was… There was an unusual feeling within her being on the phone with him late at night listening to his voice and hearing him crack jokes as she laid in bed. It was nice. It was freeing. But it was bizarre too and that, all together, made it a little awkward.

"What's going on Emily? Why are you calling so late?" Not that he didn't want her to. He did. He just knew there had to be a reason.

"I… I had a good time the other night." Not what she was planning to say. It just came out. Her censor was broken. "With you and Jack and Charlie. It was…" right, so very right, "nice." She needed to work on her vocabulary. The only adjectives she could come up with were nice and good. Really?

"I had a really good time too."

"Charlie had fun."

"Jack too." They didn't know why it seemed so, so sterile. They both could easily flow through a conversation if they allowed it, but they were both being so oblivious and so stubborn that they held back thinking that was what the other wanted. Or, maybe they just didn't know what they wanted. And, instead of just saying whatever, they sat there, in their respective beds, listening to the silence of the line.

"I made an appointment with Dr. Lozano." Emily said randomly. Nerves immediately filled him. Was she leaving the team? Did she feel unready? Was there something happening that he was unaware of?

"Why? Is something wrong?"

"I called her the other day about Charlie." She looked to the perfect, still body that lay next to her, so peaceful in her slumber.

"Charlie? Is she ok?" Panic overwhelmed him. Lozano wasn't a medical doctor, but still, if something was wrong, whether mentally or physically, something was still wrong and that alarmed him.

"She's… She's perfect, but she needs help."

"With what?"

"She doesn't understand the risks of our job; not really. What she does know, is that mommy went to fight a bad guy and almost didn't come home. One day I caught her watching me sleep to make sure I woke up. And on one of the first days back from the hospital, she continually poked me until I opened my eyes. That wasn't fun for either of us."

"I'm sorry. I didn't…"

"You didn't know." She finished for him. "I know. And don't be sorry. It's not your fault. I just, I don't want her to be scared every time I go to work. And she's doing ok. I just want to make sure it stays that way. So I read some books about it and I'll listen to what they said, but I called Dr. Lozano anyway. I asked her for some advice or a recommendation, and she mentioned that she has some experience with child psychology and if I wanted to bring Charlie in with me next time I go, that I could."

"And you think that's the right thing to do?"

"You don't?" She questioned, honestly wanting his opinion.

"Do you think maybe she should see her own therapist?"

"I'm hoping I didn't damage her enough to need that."

"You didn't…"

"I did, but it was bound to happen eventually. I got through five years without too much. But, whatever. I'm going to take her with me to my appointment next week. She said that she'll see where Charlie's at, talk with us both, and, if needed, she'll recommend someone to take over Charlie's care."

"Do you think she needs that?"

"One appointment won't hurt, but I'm hoping that's all she'll need."

"Me too."

"You could…" Did she want to do it? Doing it was opening a door that could never be closed again. "You could come. For her… You could come to be there with her." She was extending a rather large olive branch; too large for where they were at.

"To see Dr. Lozano?" He asked.

"If you wanted to." He did.

"Is that wise?" He was always, mostly, practical. Logic usually won.

"Probably not." Did he care?

"Does she know?"

"No. Your name was never mentioned in that capacity." He took a breath before he answered, not wanting to answer the way he knew he had to.

"I'd like to be there, but I think it'd be unprofessional and confusing for Charlie." She knew that, but it didn't stop her from wanting him there with her and their daughter. It didn't stop him from wanting that either.

"You're right." She answered defeated.

"But, why don't I wait in the reception area for the both of you and you can tell me all about it?" At least he'd be there in theory.

"That sounds good." It was better than nothing and probably the most reasonable solution. Maybe they could handle to co-parenting thing after all.

"Agreed. Just let me know the time and I'll be there."

"I will." She made a mental note to send him a reminder email the following day.

"I want her to feel safe too Emily. I want her to know that she has parents who love her and want nothing more than to protect her and make her happy."

"Me too." That was the only thing that could leave her mouth. She didn't know why she was so emotional, but she was.

"Was that the only reason you called?" He wasn't trying to get off the phone, in fact, he'd like nothing more than to listen to her talk, but there was something else. He could feel it.

"No." She paused briefly. "I was thinking about something you said before."

"Something I said?"

"Yeah…" She pushed herself deeper into her pillows as she waited for something, just anything, to get her talking again. "I was thinking about what you said about having some time just you and Charlie."

"You were?" He sounded surprised, and he was. They both seemed so up and down that he didn't know what to expect at any given time. It was a welcomed gesture though, to know that she was at least thinking of him and listening to what he had to say.

"Don't sound so shocked Aaron." Her voice was quiet and raspy, almost seductive, but he didn't want to hear that. He needed to just hear regular old Emily. "I'm going out tomorrow." She stated.

His heart fell. "Like… like on a date?"

"Like a date…" heart definitely feeling under the weather. "…with JJ."

"Oh?" He perked up again. Consciously, he knew it shouldn't have affected him at all if she were dating. He was dating. And he knew he'd pretend to be happy for her if she were too, but, subconsciously, he was really happy it was JJ she was going out with.

"Yeah, just going for coffee."

"Alright…"

"I was thinking about what you said about having alone time with Charlie. So, I was wondering if you'd watch her tomorrow." Tomorrow?

"Uh… Tomorrow?" She missed the hesitancy in the voice, luckily, and spoke.

"Yeah, I want to head out around 2:30. I was thinking you could come over here and just spend time with her in a comfortable environment. Or, if you wanted, you could take her out. She'd like that too. She's easy to please; simple and complicated all wrapped up in one pretty little package. But I won't make you do this. If that's not something you want to do, there's no pressure." There was, a little, but not really. It was an actions not words thing. "I can just ask Reid. He owes me a favor and I think Charlie likes to annoy him by asking him why over and over. And he likes her because she likes his stupid facts and has a few random things up her sleeves. He's not around kids too often, but he's really not bad with them. It's surprising actually." She rambled until she realized, he was saying nothing. "So, I should call Reid?" She took his lack of response to be ambivalence when in reality, he was just enjoying her rambling.

"No." He answered quickly. No, he wanted that time. "What time did you say?"

"It would be great if you could be here around two. I don't think I'll be gone too long. I'd probably be back by five, the latest." He'd still have time to get home, shower, and change for his date. And, even if he didn't, being there was something he wanted and needed. It trumped any other plans any day of the week.

"Ok, I'll be there."

"Are you sure? You don't have to."

"I know I don't. But I want to." He said reassuringly. "I want this. I told you I'd fight for her. And I will, but this is you making the fight a little easier. So yes, I'll be there at 2 tomorrow. There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

Hearing him speak with such conviction made her happy; made her feel like things could and were working out. "Ok."

"Hey Em?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for raising her right." Haley's words stuck with him. She made him see that, yes he wanted things to be different, but he knew that Charlie was who she was because of Emily, and he loved who she was turning out to be.

"I was just doing my job." She said nonchalantly, almost rejecting the compliment.

"You did it well."

"Well, there's still a long way to go. Let's see if I was any good at it when she hits puberty."

"She'll be amazing… like you."

"Thanks Aaron." She was blushing. Like a school girl with a crush, though he couldn't see her and wasn't actually there, she was blushing; seriously blushing and embarrassed by it.

"It's getting late. Get some rest. I'll be there at 2."

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight Emily."

They both hung up the phone after that with a sense of ease and levity. Things still weren't fixed. They still had a very long way to go, but they were so far from where they were just a short while ago and that comforted them both. There was security in that; hope that the fantasies of it all working out were closer to reality than they thought. But they wouldn't allow themselves to get too wrapped up in it; not yet. There was still work to be done, still things to take care of.

But, in the meantime, they were both content, ready and willing to fall into an easy dream filled sleep. They were all good dreams; or it felt that way when they woke up sweat free and relatively calm. It was nice. It was a change. For once, they weren't focused on what could go wrong; they were seeing what could go right. And, for them, that was a huge feat. They weren't pessimistic people, they still saw the good in the world, but they were also realistic, so they always saw some of the evil that was lurking. It was habit. But they were suddenly feeling a lot lighter; seeing a lot less of the bad and focusing more on the good.

That didn't mean things were forgotten. They still had plenty on their plates, but they had other things that actually felt more pressing. Like, whatever was on JJ's mind. That was worrying Emily. It sounded important. The way the blonde talked made her nervous. Her mind went to Henry or health issues… They weren't great thoughts. So, she was worried. Thankfully, she found distraction in her little 3 foot something, 30 odd pound laundry helper.

"Do I get to go with you mommy?" Charlie asked as she passed Emily one of her shirts.

"No Charlie Bear. You're staying here while I have some grown up time with JJ."

"Is Henry going?"

"Is he a grown up?" Charlie shook her head. He may have been older than her and bigger than her, but she knew he was still little too. "Then he's staying home too."

"With me?" She asked excitedly.

"Sorry, Henry has other plans."

"Where do I go?"

"You're staying here." Emily explained as she finished folding clothes.

"All alone?"

"No." Emily laughed. "Someone will be here with you."

"Who?" She asked excitedly, leaving her own pile of clothes forgotten.

"Why don't you wait and see?"

"But I want to know!"

"And you will," she looked to her watch, "in two hours."

"Two hours? That's a long time. Like forever long."

"Not that long. And if you finally get dressed lazy bones, then it will be even less time."

"Can I play outside?"

"If you hurry up. But you have to remember the rules. Stay away from the big…" Charlie interrupted.

"I have to stay away from the big hole in the ground so I don't fall in because I'll never come back out."

"I didn't say that last part." Emily laughed.

"Uh huh."

"No, I don't think I did."

"How come the hole isn't a pool yet? I want to go swimming."

"It takes time for it to be a pool. They only just started working on it because the ground was too hard."

"And now it's soft?" She looked to her mother confused. Why would the ground be soft? Wasn't it always soft? Or always hard? Which was it?

"It's softer. Even if the pool was ready, it's not warm enough outside to go in. So let's not worry about it right now. Go get dressed."

"Ok mommy. Love you."

"Love you too baby."

Charlie sped through the dressing process picking the first things she could find. Surprisingly, or not, she actually had on a cute little outfit. "Can we play now?"

"Sweater first." Emily said as she held out the navy cardigan.

"Now?" She asked impatiently as she slipped her hand through the last sleeve.

"Yes, now we can go outside."

"Awesome!" She said as she ran for the back door. Emily attempted to keep up.

Emily tried to stay in the moment. While keeping an eye on the time, she just tried to focus on her daughter. It wasn't all that hard. Charlie was always a great attention grabber and she loved chasing her around the big backyard, but other thoughts still lingered. As more time passed, she couldn't help the fluttering feeling in her stomach. She was nervous, but she didn't know what she was more nervous about. Hotch, or JJ? Thinking of Aaron coming over made her giggle like a schoolgirl. Then, she subtly reminded herself he was coming to see Charlie; to babysit Charlie. Still, she felt the ghost tingle in her lips as she reminisced about their last kiss… There'd be no kissing, she told herself; she didn't want more… Lie. And there was JJ. She didn't even want to go there. She was really hoping the theories she had in her head were much darker than the reality of the situation. She needed to believe she was making more out of nothing until she was in front of JJ and hearing otherwise.

"Come on Charlie. Time to head inside for a little while."

"But I want to stay and play."

"Maybe you can come back out once I leave, but I'm all dirty so I have to go get changed and I don't want to leave you out here alone."

"Who's coming?"

"I think you'll be happy with who it is."

"Will she want to play?"

"I think if you asked him, he would play with you."

"It's a boy?"

"Yes."

"Is it Spencer?" Emily shook her head. "Is it Derek? Can we have a sleep over with him again?"

"It's not Derek and there will be no sleepovers Charlie."

"Fine." She huffed. "Is it Dave?"

"No Charlie. It's Aaron."

"Aaron! Is Jack coming too?"

"No, just him. Jack's with his mom."

Shyly, hesitantly, Charlie asked her mother, "Is Aaron really coming this time?"

"Yes. I promise he'll be here and you'll have fun." He better not let them down. She made that promise fully believing that he would pull through.

"Can we all go out again? I liked having dinner with them at the restaurant."

"We'll ask him later, but I'll tell you a little secret." In anticipation, Charlie moved closer as Emily leaned down to faux whisper in her ear. "He said he had a ton of fun with us too."

"He did?!"

"Yeah. He really likes spending time with you."

"I like when he plays with me."

"Maybe you can tell him that."

"Doesn't he know?" Her face scrunched up.

"Sometimes grownups can be dumb. Sometimes you have to remind us of things we should know." If only she realized how true that was for herself. If she took the time to listen to Clyde and really think about it all, she wouldn't be where she was; in a state of flux and denial.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I bet it would make him feel happy to know that."

"Ok."

"Ok. Want to help me pick out something else to wear?"

"Yes!"

"I thought so." Emily winked. "Let's get a move on."

She had no reason to dress up. It was just a coffee date with JJ. They, apparently, needed to talk about something specific. That was beside the point. She was meeting JJ at a bakery they went to all the time. But, even so, she felt the need to look good. Maybe it was the thought of seeing Hotch. She needed to look her best. For him… It was so not like her; so not logical.

"You look very pretty mommy."

"I do?" Charlie nodded. "Thank you."

"You're welcome.

"Are you going to put on more jewelry?"

"Do you think I need more?"

"You need to wear the pretty earrings." She insisted as she pointed to the jewelry box on the dresser.

"Which ones are those?"

"The ones me and Clyde got you."

"But those are fancy. I'm not going anywhere dressy Charlie. Just to get coffee with JJ."

"Aaron would like them. He would think you're pretty too."

"Why would I want him to think that?"

"Penelope says you should always look your best so all boys think you're pretty. You might want to take one home to play with. Or girls mommy. She said girls were ok to take home if that was what I liked."

"Remind me to supervise your visits with her. You will not be taking boys… or girls home for a very, very, very long time. Ok?"

"Even Henry? Henry comes home all the time."

"Henry's ok… for now. We'll talk more when you're older."

"Mommy…"

"No boys. You're too young for us to be discussing these home visits and sleepovers. Come help me pick out the earrings." Emily needed to deflect. Her daughter was five. They were not going to be discussing the type of sleepovers they were alluding to. Innocence was bliss and Charlie embodied it. It had to stay like that until she was in her thirties.

"Mommy, I see the car. He's here!" Charlie yelled as she peered out the window.

"Ok, go answer it." Emily encouraged.

"All by myself?"

"All by yourself, just promise to ask who it is first just to make sure."

"You're the best mommy!" Charlie gave Emily a big hug before bolting out of the room. Emily knew it was him and it pleased her to see how excited Charlie was. She had to grab her sweater and then she'd join them too.

Charlie made it to the door in record time. She arrived just as the first knock sounded. "Who is it?" She asked with an air of impatience.

"It's Aaron."

Opening the door and throwing herself at him, Charlie greeted him, "Hi Aaron!"

"Hi sweetheart." He happily responded as he took her into his arms and held her tight. There was no better feeling like that; holding his child. He'd never grow tired of it.

"Are you going to play with me?"

"I'd love to."

"What are we going to play?"

"Why don't you think about it?"

"Ok. I have lots of ideas."

"I bet you do." He said as she put her down on the ground. "Where's your mom?"

"She's coming." Charlie informed him before moving on to more pressing issues like whether they should go back outside or try something else. Charlie was just excited. As they walked by the staircase, Charlie stopped and yelled, "Mommy, Aaron's here. You can go now!"

"Are you trying to get rid of me Charlie?" Emily asked as she approached the top landing.

"No, I never want you to leave, but I want to have fun with Aaron." Charlie looked up to the voice as Emily moved her way down each step.

"You better not want me to go. I'd be very sad."

"Don't be sad mommy. I'll kiss it better."

"Thank you." Emily accepted a big hug and a sloppy kiss as she reached the bottom where they stood. "I feel much better now. Go grab my purse please, it's in my office."

"Ok." Charlie said and ran along.

"Hello Aaron."

"Emily…" Wow. "Hi." He was captivated by her. From the moment he heard her voice echo in the stairway to the moment he first laid eyes on her, he was just taken. Her soft waves were delicately tucked behind her ears allowing the rubies in her earrings to sparkle in the light. Her face was natural, just a hint of makeup to accentuate the beauty. She was wearing a skirt. He loved her legs; her long beautifully pale legs. And her top was red. Red was her color. She looked really good in red. She looked good in anything. "You look wonderful. Are you sure you're not going on a date?"

"Blonde hair and blue eyes are very attractive, but I'm really not a boob girl. I'm sure Will appreciates that." She wanted to add, "Would it bother you if I was?"

"Or he'd like it."

"Would you?" Emily cringed after she said it. "Please don't answer that. Not only was it inappropriate, I don't want to know."

"I don't think it was inappropriate. We're friends. Friends talk about… things." Though, the mental images he was conjuring weren't kosher. Damn it Emily.

"We're stepping into territory I don't have time to dredge through right now. Yes, we're friends, but I don't think I want to know if you have any girl on girl fantasies. And, since our daughter should be back any second, I think it'd be best we just dropped it."

"Agreed." It was getting a little weird. "So uh… She seems happy I'm the one watching her."

"She is happy Hotch."

"Yeah?" He said with a schoolboy smirk.

"Yeah, she wants to spend time with you. Did you not see her practically kicking me out just now?"

"What am I… What are we supposed to do?" He was nervous.

"What do you mean?"

"I've spent time with her, I know, but there was almost always someone else around. And now it's just going to be us. I thought about taking her out, but I wanted some time just with her. But she's a girl. What are we supposed to do?"

"What would you and Jack normally do together?"

"Blocks… coloring… cars…"

"Well, there you go. She likes all those things too. Boys and girls aren't really all that different when it comes to playtime. She'll do anything. Just relax, have fun, and follow her lead."

"That easy huh?"

"Yes." She answered with a smile and a gentle laugh. "Just don't give her any sweets. She'll try to trick you, but be firm. She's going to get hungry so there're some things you can make in the fridge or wherever. Help yourself to anything. She's not that hard to make happy."

"So she won't wear me out?"

"No, she will. You'll want to crawl in bed and sleep for days if she has her way. But it's so worth it."

"I know it is." He stared at her and her at him. There was that connection again; rearing its ugly head when they don't expect it and try not to feel it.

"Here mom!" Charlie yelled as she approached them with Emily's bag, effectively breaking up said moment.

"Thank you. Give me a kiss so I can go." Charlie did just that. "Love you. Be good, but have fun."

"We will." She told her mother confidently. "Love you."

"If you need me, call. I won't be too long." Moving toward Hotch, Emily leaned in for a friendly hug to cover her words. "Just be yourself. You have nothing to worry about."

When they broke apart, he whispered, "thank you," and watched her leave. "So, what do you want to do Charlie?"

"Can I have chocolate?" Emily was not wrong…

"How about we make lunch instead?"

"Are you going to cook for me?"

"I'll help you cook."

"Ok!" She exclaimed. "And then we can have ice cream?" Saying no to her was going to be a problem for him. But he'd figure it out… Hopefully, before Emily came home to find every sweet in the house mysteriously missing.

They were going to have fun. Emily, on the other hand, wasn't too sure whether she was. She was nervous and unsettled as she found a table and ordered their usual. JJ was running a little late. That wasn't disconcerting at all; no, not at all… because, it was so normal to tell a friend they needed to talk about something, be all serious, and then show up late. It was great for dramatic effect.

"Sorry." JJ's voice traveled as she haphazardly made her way to Emily. "I had to drop Henry off because Will was running late, and his friend's mother is a talker. She really wouldn't stop… Anyway, I'm sorry."

"It's ok." Emily tried to calm her. "I told them not to bring the coffee over until they saw a crazy, scatterbrained blonde make her way in." She joked. "I got your regular order. I hope that's ok."

"It's great. Thank you."

"Are you going to sit?"

"Oh, yeah." She took the seat across from Emily at their table by the window. It was the one they always used. It had the best view and it allowed them to see other people. Usually, the familiarity of it would give them comfort, but they were both a little on edge. "I'm happy you're here."

"I said I would be." JJ nodded.

"How are you Em?"

"I'm… good?" That wasn't why they were there to talk. Formalities… They didn't need to be formal. "How are you?"

"Great." She said with false sincerity. "You look nice. I hope it's not all for me."

"Thank you. I just… I just felt like getting spruced up a little. A woman needs to feel pretty every once in a while." Especially when she had someone to look pretty for…

"Who's watching Charlie?"

"Uh…" Did she want to answer honestly? "Aar… Hotch is with her."

"Oh." Another reason to add to the growing suspicion.

"What's going on Jayje? What's wrong with Hotch doing that?"

"It's nothing Em. I just, I don't know. I would've assumed you'd ask Garcia or Spencer, maybe Morgan."

"They were busy."

"Ok…" Or not. JJ was confused. She knew why she asked Emily there, but being there and saying what needed to be said was harder than she anticipated.

They listened to the sounds of the little café, the baristas at the cappuccino machine, the customers chatting over coffee like they were supposed to be doing, and the shuffled movement of feet. The atmosphere kind of took over until Emily finally said something. "Why do I have the feeling I should've made this coffee Irish?"

JJ laughed, actually smiled, and it lightened the tense environment. Emily was struggling to figure out what she did in the first place because JJ didn't look happy. "I think you'll be ok."

"Think or know?"

"Only time will tell." Cryptic again; Emily didn't know what was up.

"Ok, Jayje." Emily sat, back straight, before leaning in. "What's going on? You've been acting… off… all week and then I get your eerie phone call. I've been nothing but nerves since." Moving just a little closer, a hint of defeat on her face. "Is it because you don't want me back? You don't think I should be on the team anymore? That's what this is right?" She was confident in her abilities and accepted her place back on the team, but that didn't mean she didn't have her uncertainties. "It's not just in my head. People don't want me back."

"What? Emily no…" JJ's voice went unheard.

"It's ok if you don't. I'm sure everyone has their doubts about me being back and my competence, but I swear I'm ok."

"Emily, I promise you, we all want you there. This has nothing to do with that."

"Then what is it? I've been trying to wrack my brain. That was all I could come up with." With pleading eyes, desperate for some answer, Emily said, "Tell me what it is. Tell me what I did. Please."

"I…It's just…" Words JJ, use your words… "I need… You've been…. This is harder than I thought it'd be."

"Just say what you need to say Jayje." Emily said with concern. "Whatever it is… I want to help. I need to hear it."

"I… there's something that I…. We need to talk about something." It didn't need to be so hard, but JJ really didn't know how to broach the subject. She didn't know how Emily would react. And she didn't know if she was breaking some sort of nonverbal agreement they made to just not talk about it. But she was going for it…

Back with Charlie and Hotch, they were just finishing up with lunch. Making it was a bit of an adventure. They made apples and peanut butter on the side of vegetable stir-fry Emily had premade. None of that was hard, but she was a five year old girl that wanted to play with knives. To be fair, she didn't want to play with the knives, she just wanted to cut up the apple herself, but he had to say no. It was one of the first times he had to be stern with her. But she was a kid and he didn't want her handling sharp objects. He didn't know what she was capable of yet, but his adamant no's weren't enough to dissuade her.

"Knives are for when you're older."

"But mommy let's me do it by myself."

"I doubt that."

"She does!" Charlie said exaggeratedly.

"Then she's crazy."

"Oh, I'm telling on you."

"You do that." He said indifferently, but truly, he was a little upset. He just wanted her to like him and seeing her want to tattle on him wasn't helping his ego.

"Can we use the apple cutter then? I can do that!" She was stuck on being able to do everything on her own when all he wanted was to help her with any and every task; to experience it all with her.

"An apple cutter?" Girls were much more difficult than boys.

"Look, it's in here. Mommy keeps it up high." She said as she climbed up onto the counter.

"Whoa, relax. I don't want you to fall." He helped her, lifted and guided her onto the counter for safety. She was, apparently, going to do it anyway. He decided he might as well be complicit.

"I won't fall silly." She said, standing taller than him with the added height if the marble counter below her. "It's in here." She maneuvered through one of the drawers that she could've reached without the climbing. A simple step on the chair that was already near it would've helped. Girls… "See." She pulled out a silver, glittering, apple corer. "An apple cutter. Can we use this?"

"We can," he took it from her and held a hand for her to take so he could help her down, "if you promise not to climb anything else."

"Even a tree?" She asked as she made her way into his arms.

"Especially a tree."

"Even my playground?"

"That, that I think you can climb."

"Can we play on it? Will you push me high on the swings?"

"After lunch."

"Ok!"

With his help, because it took more arm strength than that of a tiny little girl, they cut the apple up. As peculiar as it was, as complicated as it was, and as annoying of a process it may have seemed, helping her with such a simple task made his day. He wasn't there the first time she fed herself without any help. He never got to feed her, her first solid meal. And he wasn't there the first time she tried to help Emily cook. But that was ok, he was realizing, because the plain moments, like the bickering and back and forth and helping her core an apple made up for that. It was amazing how something so simple could make up for so much…

Food eaten and stomachs settled, they moved on to the next activity; arts and crafts. That was a treat. It was thirty minutes of glue and pom poms and sticky things that he wouldn't even know what to call, but she loved it. So he managed to love it too. He just wasn't very good at it. But, he assumed, that was par for the course. He wasn't great at a lot of things Jack liked too. They were just easier to fake. Drawing wasn't his forte.

He was surprised when her tiny hand overlapped with his and halted his movements. "What's wrong?" He asked.

"You write with this hand." She stated.

"Yes, do you know which hand it is?"

She stuck out her fingers to see which one made the 'L.' "The left one."

"That's correct." He told her proudly. His children were baby geniuses; destined for greatness from the womb on.

"Why do you use that one?"

"I've always used it. I was born like that." Sundays were not fun growing up. The nuns liked to slap his wrists with rulers during Sunday school because being left handed was being a portal to the devil. He grew up to battle the evil. If they could see him now…

"How come I use this one?" She held her right hand up, her fuchsia crayon still in between her fingers.

"Because that was the way you were born."

"And mommy too."

"And Emily too, yes."

"But not you?"

"No. I use the other one."

"So you're special."

"I guess so."

With very serious and profound eyes, she moved her gaze up to him and said, "I think you're special."

"Thank you." He replied with a smile. Touched, delighted, loved… words couldn't begin to describe how he felt.

"It's cool that you're different."

"I guess it is." They shared a moment; one of many bonding moments to come. It was over almost as quickly as it begun, but it made him feel special just like she said he was. Because to her, he was special and hers was one of the few opinions that counted. Charlie went back to her drawing, though, and he followed her lead and did the same until they moved on to the subsequent activity.

Up next was tackling the great outdoors. Charlie was insistent that she show him her "swing skills." He was more impressed with her ability to run out of sight before he had the chance to find her in the first place than her ability to nearly fly off the death trap they called a swing. Were playgrounds a work out for the children or adults? She was a quick little thing and it made her hard to keep track of. He had a feeling she was using that to her advantage. She liked to run and play just like Jack. She was more adventurous and free, just like Emily. But she had these moments of caution, these moments where she just stopped and thought things through, that he liked to believe she got from him.

"Look how high I can go all by myself!" Charlie exclaimed as she finally made her way to the swings.

"You're almost flying." He played along.

"Push me Aaron. Please." There was no way he was saying no. "Higher! Higher!" He obliged to a point. Any higher and she would literally be flying.

The sounds of her jubilee and giggles made him proud. They made him happy. They made him feel fatherly. He loved every single second of it. All the innocence, all the happiness, and all the smiles; it made his day whole. Very few things could've made their time together better, but he wasn't dwelling on them and there was more to come. He finally felt like lost time as being made up. It was him and his daughter and it was great.

"Aaron, Aaron, the phone is ringing." Charlie's voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Huh?"

"Your phone silly." He hadn't heard it until it was pointed out to him, that was how focused on her he was.

"Right." His phone was on the bench by the house. "Charlie, stay here and don't move. I'll be right back."

"Ok." He watched her as he moved toward the bench. She remained in her place, swinging on the swing. As he got to and held his phone, he looked at the caller ID. Beth. He needed to answer it, though he didn't want talking to her to take away any time with Charlie.

"Hi Beth." He answered, turning his body back around to face his daughter.

"Hi Aaron. I just wanted to call and make sure we were still on for tonight."

"Yes, of course. Seven at Montmartre."

"Great. I am…" He didn't listen as he placed the phone on hold drowning out her voice.

"Charlie, get down from there please."

"But I'm climbing to the castle."

"It's dangerous Charlie. Please get down." Every moment she stood on the wooden ledge of the playhouse he became more nervous. His heart thumped in his ear. "Now Charlie."

"I'm trying." She yelled. "I can't! I'm stuck."

"Ok Charlie. I'm coming. Stay right where you are." He took the phone off hold and brought it to his ear.

"…and as soon as the exhibit's open…"

"Hey Beth, I'm so sorry to interrupt, but I really have to go. I'm looking forward to tonight, but now's not a great time." He wanted to just get off the phone. His focus needed to be solely on Charlie. He shouldn't have been on the phone at all and he should've been moving faster. Why wasn't he moving faster?

"Oh, ok. That's fine Aaron. I can't wait for tonight."

"Me too. Bye Beth."

"Bye Aar…" He hung up before she could finish and he didn't care.

"I'm coming Charlie. Hang on ok?"

"Aaron. Aaron!" Charlie yelled as she lost her footing and fell to the ground, a distinct thump echoing through the open air as her body collided with the dirt.

"Crap." He hissed before rushing the remaining steps to her. "Are you ok? Where are you hurt? Charlie, talk to me. Talk to da… Talk to me." He spoke to her, kneeling next to her on the ground, his eyes scanning for any sign of deformation or serious injury.

"It hurts." She whimpered.

"Where? Where does it hurt?" He asked panicked. "Does your head hurt? Did you hit your head?"

"No." She sniffled, but she hadn't really moved. She just looked to him with sad, watery eyes and sniffled.

"Can you tell me where it hurts?" Hotch asked as he carefully helped her into a seated position.

"Here." She moved her left hand slowly to point to her right leg. "And here." The second area was her right forearm. The right side of her body took the brunt of the fall.

"Ok, you're going to be alright." He said soothingly. He needed to reassure her, but he was panicking a little. That was not supposed to happen. He wasn't supposed to get her hurt. "I have to check it. If it hurts too much, let me know. Ok?" She nodded. He lifted up her pant leg first. When he moved it, he could see the fabric was torn and slightly matted with blood. There were small scrapes surrounding a bigger cut and it was definitely going to bruise, but nothing looked broken and the cut wasn't too deep. Moving on to her arm, he saw the damage there wasn't too serious either. More scrapes and more bruising, but again, nothing was broken or deep. "I think you're lucky. We can just clean this and you'll be all better."

"I will?"

"Yeah." He stood. "I'm going to pick you up so we can go inside and get these cleaned. Is that ok?"

"Yes." She was still sniffling and it was breaking his manly resolve. He ached for her. She was so tiny and she was hurting.

"It's ok to cry." He told her before lifting her up. He carefully placed her on the left side of his body so her injured side could dangle. He just wanted her to be as comfortable as possible. He placed soothing circles on her back as she refused to cry. She was a big girl, Emily told him, and she was in the big girls don't cry phase. "Oh, your mother is going to kill me. She's going to kill me and never let me see you again." He didn't say it to her, just loud enough for her to hear. It was more his thoughts out loud.

Through tears she was desperately trying to hold back and head buried into his shoulder, Charlie quietly said, "I won't tell." Her voice tickled his ear. "I like when you come play with me."

Every word she spoke was music to his ears. He loved her. There was nothing that could make him love her more. He instinctually held her tighter, giving her more of an embrace than just support. "Thanks Charlie. That's very sweet, but I think your mom's going to notice. It's best we tell her. We don't want to lie to her. Right?" She agreed and snuggled closer into his body.

As soon as they got inside, Charlie then calmed a little more, he placed her on the kitchen counter just next to the sink. "Sanitary." He thought, but whether it was or not, it didn't matter. Knowing she was ok was most important. Making sure she was secure on the counter and not likely to take another fall, Hotch began scrounging up whatever he could.

"Are you going to put on that stuff that burns?"

"Alcohol?" She nodded. "Do you know where the first aid kit is?" She pointed to the cabinet under the sink and he immediately moved the step over. "In here?"

"Uh huh."

Opening it up, he saw a little blue kit just like she said he would. "Here we go." Everything he needed was in there. First, he needed the antiseptic spray.

"Is it going to hurt?" Charlie asked as he approached her with it.

"I don't know. I never used this one before. But, I know you're strong and you're brave, so you can handle it. Though, if it does hurt, you can cry, and I'll still care about you so much."

"You will?"

"I promise."

"Do it fast." He sprayed the scrapes as she squeezed her eyes and looked away.

"All done."

"You are? It didn't hurt."

"That's good. I don't want to hurt you." She gave a timid smile. "Do you want the blue bandage or the orange?"

"Orange please."

"Good choice." He strategically placed the bandages over the larger cuts to include as much of the other scrapes as possible. He didn't want to make her look crazy with a hundred band-aids or anything like that. "You're all set." He started putting things away. "I'm going to get you some ice and then we'll sit on the couch for a little while. I'll even read you a story. You like stories/ Do you want to read with me?"

"Will you read me our book?"

"The book I gave you?" Her head bobbed. "Yes, we can read that if I can find it."

"Ok." She said before telling him exactly where to find it.

Fifteen minutes later, she was changed into clean clothes and they were cozying up on the couch. Charlie was laying with her head resting on the pillow he placed on his lap, her body curled as close as she could get it to his as the ice sat on her wounds. One of his hands was resting on her back, occasionally giving her a loving caress; just a simple pat or circle to relax her. The other held the book he read to her. The fall was a normal everyday moment; a first that he thought he handled fairly well. So he panicked. What father wouldn't? And he felt guilty. He should've been paying more attention and he wouldn't blame either of them if Charlie and Emily wanted nothing more to do with him. She could've been seriously hurt.

"Aaron?" Her sweet little voice made him relax. She was ok. He wasn't completely incompetent.

"Yes sweetheart?" He asked as he ran a hand through her hair.

"Do you know my daddy?" What time was it? Where was Emily?

"Wha… What?" To say he was caught off guard would be more than an understatement. He was holding his daughter, exhausted after hours of play, and being asked about his own secret identity. Was that what being a superhero felt like?

"Do you know my daddy? He gets the bad guys like you and mommy. Do you know him?" What the hell was he supposed to say?

"Yeah, I know him." His answer was hesitant, stalled, but she looked at him with question in her eyes, almost demanding an answer and he had to give her one. Her face was too irresistible to do otherwise.

"Is he your friend?" Sometimes a friend, and sometimes his worst enemy too.

"He can be my friend."

"Does he like my mommy?"

"I think they're really good friends."

"Does he love her?" Did he? Why did everyone want to know his exact feelings for Emily? Why couldn't they all just ask simple questions like, "How was your day?"

"I think you need to have this conversation when you're older and can understand everything."

"Everything happens when I'm older! Why can't I be older?"

"I don't want you to be older." He was thankful for the change in flow. Evasive tactics worked. A smile graced his lips. "Neither does your mom. You're perfect right where you are."

"But I want to know now."

"I know you do. I wish I had all the answers." He really did. "But I don't Charlie. I'm sorry."

"It's ok." She sounded slightly defeated. "What's he like?"

"Who?"

"My daddy."

"Do you ever ask your mom about him?" He asked. Looking up to him, she shook her head. "No? Why not?"

"Mommy gets sad." He struggled to hear her as her volume dropped, but he did hear her.

"What do you mean?" He thought Emily said she never really talked or asked about him.

"I heard her talk about my dad and she was crying." Damn it. He made Emily cry.

"Why was she crying?"

"She was sad." It was clear he wasn't going to get much information from her. What did he expect? She was just a kid. He was surprised her memory was so good. He doubted he could've gotten the who, what, when, and where he was looking for.

"Do you know why she was sad?"

"Uh uh. But she was crying and I don't like when mommy cries. It makes me sad too."

"I'm sorry." At least he could apologize to her. She might not understand why he needed to, but he needed to because every second he spent with her, he learned more and more how wrong he was about the whole situation.

Her response was a smile and that was enough for him. For the time being, it had to be. But it was simple and it was enough. "Does he have holes like you?"

"Holes?"

She moved her left hand to his face, resting it on his cheek. "You have to smile." He gave her a wimpy grin, just enough to bring out his dimples. "Holes." She said.

"You mean dimples?"

"Yeah pimples."

"Dimples." He corrected with a laugh. "And yes, he has them; just like you."

"Is he handsome like a prince?" Was he?

"I think he's ok."

"Is his hair like mine?"

"It's brown like yours." She continued to pepper him with questions as she harmlessly played with the lapel of his collared shirt. She asked about things from looks to personality and he was more than willing to answer. Sometimes, he was a little cautious and hesitant to be forthcoming. He wasn't sure how Emily would feel about their conversation and some of the details didn't need to be known, but it was a talk between a father and daughter and they both deserved to have the questions asked and answered their way. So he did his best. The girl was just trying to understand who she was and where she came from. That was a hard task for anyone, let alone a child; a brilliant one if ever there was one, but still a child.

Some of the questions were hard. He'd be the first to admit that. She was forcing him into a type of self reflection that, maybe, he wasn't ready for, but he did it anyway because she deserved that. But then, then she asked a question that he truly wasn't expecting. "Mommy says he does, but I don't know." She started, and before he could ask "does what," she continued. "Does he love me?" He didn't need time to answer that. His answer he was sure of. But it hurt him that she had to question that. Emily did her job; she did her best, but he wasn't there to reaffirm it all. He was there then, though, and he was determined to make it known.

"I know he does. He loves you very much." So much more than he could express in words. "You don't ever have to doubt that. He loves you Charlie. He loves you and he is so proud of you."

"How do you know?"

How did he know? "I just do. Trust me. He loves you with all his heart."

"Do you know where he is?"

"Um." They were stepping into dangerous territory. He and Emily agreed to wait; wait until the time was right and he got to know her more. She said they'd know when that time right was and, then, he wasn't sure if it was right. And he didn't want to go behind Emily's back to answer Charlie's curiosity especially when he was so uncertain himself. "Charlie…"

"Hey, where is everyone?" Emily's voice carried through the room.

"In here." Hotch called back, so grateful for her good timing.

"Hey Aaron, Charlie Bear. Did you have fun?"

"Mmhmm." Charlie mumbled, too content to move even for her mother.

Emily took a seat on the couch next to them, a look he couldn't quite place on her face as she looked around the room. "Everything seems to be in working order. What did you two do while I was away?" She was pleased by the sight before her, but her conversation with JJ was weighing on her. They just looked so cute that she chose to temporarily forget the rest of her problems and just focus on what was right in front of her. "You weren't wearing this before I left. Did you get dirty?"

Charlie looked to Hotch as she moved to sit up. He nodded, feeling bad that she thought she needed his permission to answer. "I fell outside mommy, but Aaron took good care of me."

"You fell?" She scooted closer, "Are you ok? Were you hurt?" She looked to them both for answers as her hands moved to search Charlie.

Hotch placed a hand over hers to still her and calmly said, "She's fine. She got a little banged up. There will be some bruising, but the scrapes weren't bad and nothing was broken."

"I'm a brave girl mom."

"I know you are; my sweet, sweet, brave girl."

"I'm happy you're home!" Charlie said with a hug.

"I think my big girl deserves a treat."

"I do." She agreed.

"Yeah. I brought home some goodies. The big box in the kitchen is ours. Go pick something out."

"Ok." She jumped off the couch, carefully minding her battle wounds.

"Just one Charlie." Emily yelled as Charlie left and then turned to Hotch. "How was it?"

"It was good." He had a grin that Emily hadn't seen on his face for some time. "Despite the fall, I think she had a great time with me, and I did too."

"So you had fun?"

"Until she scared me to death by falling off that stupid death trap of a playground you have out there."

"It's her castle Hotch. And I'll have you know, it's not stupid. It's one of those ones that you can build on as the kids get older and you can add more or change parts. I don't know. I knew it was what she wanted. But kids fall. She's fine. That's what matters." Hotch was relieved by her nonchalance. He expected worse. And, if Emily didn't trust that he took good care of her and made sure she was perfectly fine, it would've been so much worse. "What about after the fall? Did you have fun again then?"

"Yeah." He reflected. "Yeah, I really did."

"I'm glad." It was her turn to put a hand over his, squeezing it a little tighter than necessary. "I'm very glad." Looking at each other, they both opened their mouth to speak.

"I need…"

"We have…"

"You first." He said.

"No, please, go ahead. You need something?"

"Yeah, there's something we need…"

"Mommy, these are so yummy!" That was the problem with talking around children. They were always interrupting. They were always just right there.

Both adults shifted their attention to the little girl who then had chocolate smeared on the sides of her mouth. "I thought you'd like that one." Of course Charlie would pick the double chocolate whatever she saw and immediately bought two of. "You have way too much chocolate on your face for the amount you've eaten." It was only missing a bite. "Did you only take one thing?"

"Only one."

"Are you lying Charlie?" She paused before looking to Emily with eyes that said. "please don't be mad." So she shyly nodded. Yeah, she also ate a chocolate covered pineapple star, but mommy didn't need to know that.

"I'm sorry." She quivered before pushing out her hand that held the treat. "You can have this one back."

Emily just laughed. "It's ok Charlie. You won't get in trouble this time. You got hurt. We'll call it an extra treat for being a brave girl. Just, go eat in the kitchen. You're making a mess."

"Ok."

"Kids right?" Emily asked Hotch as Charlie left them alone once more.

"She's no kid. She's a mini adult; 5 going on 15."

"You're telling me. She's going to kill me when she's a teenager. I think I have gray hairs now. I'm going to be completely gray by the time she hits 12." She sighed. "But anyway. You were saying something."

"Yeah, but you had something too. What was it?"

"Not right now, because I'd prefer not to do it with Charlie just in the other room, but there's something we need to discuss. I'd rather do it before we go to work tomorrow." She informed him. She needed to talk to him before he saw JJ…

"There's actually something I wanted to talk to you about too." But suddenly he was more than nervous. What did she want to discuss? "But, unfortunately, it's already 5:30."

"I know, I'm sorry I was late. We lost track of time." There was a lot to talk about and, apparently, they need not leave any stone unturned.

"It's ok. Really it is. I enjoyed my time with her, but we do need to talk and I do have to go so…"

"So later I guess…" Though, for once, she just wanted to talk then. She didn't wait and neither did he. And the thought of cancelling with Beth certainly crossed his mind. He actually would've if it wasn't such short notice and he wasn't such a gentleman. But it wasn't an emergency and, even if he didn't want to put it off, he didn't have real reason why it couldn't wait.

"Before work tomorrow?" He asked hopefully. "I can come by in the morning and we can take Charlie to school together. Neither of us will be late and I get to see her again. I would really like to see where she goes to school."

Nodding with a smile of accomplishment and progress and overall pride, Emily said, "Ok. Tomorrow morning." And she stood. "We should get into that kitchen so you can say goodbye. We're leaving an absolute dessert junky with a box of pastries and sweets. Probably not the best idea."

"No," he laughed, "probably not." He stood next to her and put a hand on the small of her back. "After you."

"Thank you." They walked into the kitchen to see Charlie practically licking her plate. She wasn't, but if she tried to scrape any more chocolate off the plate, she would've been. "Charlie, say goodbye and thank you to Aaron and then go clean your face please."

"You're leaving?"

"Yes sweetheart. I have to get going."

"But why?" She asked with sadness.

"Charlie, he has to go. It's not your business to ask why or where. Ok?"

"I'm sorry. I don't want you to go."

"I don't want to go either." He looked to Emily briefly. "But, I made a commitment so I have to go."

"Will you come back soon? You can bring Jack. Jack likes me." She enticed him.

"He does like you very much. And so do I."

"We can go out again. With mommy and Jack…" She suggested.

"We'll make it a date."

"We will?"

"Yes. I'll talk with your mom and we'll work something out."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Thank you." She ran to him, wrapping her arms around his legs. "Thank you. Thank you."

"You're very welcome sweetheart." He bent down to hug her properly. "I had a lot of fun with you." And he never used the term sweetheart so much in his life. He once thought he never would; ever… Terms of endearment like that just weren't for him.

"Me too." She said. "It hurt when I fell, but you made me feel all better. I liked that. And I like you." She gave him a big, wet, chocolaty kiss on the cheek. "Thank you."

"You're welcome again Charlie."

"Bye Aaron."

"Bye Charlie."

"Ok, go get cleaned up messy girl." She waved one last time and took off. "You should…"

"I should go." But he didn't want to.

"You uh…" She moved closer. "You have chocolate on your face." She gracefully moved her hand to his cheek and used her thumb to wipe it off. "There. All better."

"Uh…Thanks." He stuttered it out unable to move away just as she was unable to pull her hand back. "You can… You can let go now."

"What? Oh." She quickly pulled back. "Right, sorry."

"It's ok. Thank you." They stood still for just a moment before he realized he really did need to get going. He barely had enough time to get home and changed and to the restaurant on time and he always liked to be early.

"I'm sorry that I kept you."

"Really. I was happy to do it."

"You should go. I don't want you to be late for whatever." Though she wondered what whatever was.

"I should go." Yet he wasn't moving. Why wasn't he moving? "Tomorrow, I'll be here at six?"

"Six should work."

"Good." He finally decided to take a step. He checked his pocket for his phone and moved toward the coat rack for his thin jacket. Slipping it on he said, "So, I'll see you tomorrow morning. Bright and early."

"Bright and early Sir." She joked but it made him not noticeably, cringe. With everything going on between them, it definitely brought about a few dirty thoughts.

"Bye Emily."

"Bye Aaron, have a good night."

"You too."

As she walked him toward the door, she saw the small yellow box she brought home just for him. "Wait Hotch."

"Yes?" He stopped as soon as he heard her.

"Here." She handed him the pastry box, the company logo proudly displayed on the top.

"What's this?" He asked as he accepted the box.

"They're bear claws. Consider them a thank you for watching her. I remembered you liked them and they were fresh from the oven so I just had to buy them."

"Thank you Emily, but you need to stop thanking me. Watching her isn't a job. It was something I wanted to do whether it was a favor or just because. It's not watching her when she's my own daughter. I'm thankful for the time with her. So you need to stop. Ok?"

"Ok." She responded with a cheeky grin. It felt a little like success for both of them. Definite steps were being taken one at a time; day by day. And it was great. "No more thanking you."

"I'm going to hold you to that. And when we're done talking about everything else that we need to, we're going to pick a date to go out again."

"Out?" She nearly choked on her spit.

"Me, Jack, Charlie, and you if you'd like. I told her we could. I hope that's ok." She was there when he said that right?

"It is." She answered quickly. "It's more than ok if you follow through." And, she ruined it. Of course she did.

"I will. I promise I will."

"Well, I'm going to hold you to it."

"I hope you do." They were stalling with banter. Neither seemed to want it to end and neither could understand why. They chose to remain oblivious. Yet, they chose to play into it a little more each time. It was an odd cycle, a dance of sorts, but that was their story. They were direct and forward and forceful in every other aspect of their lives but with each other. With each other, they were passive. They let things slide and bob rather than attack it and fight for their true desires. They just ignored those.

"We'll pick a date and a place tomorrow."

"Ok."

"I have to go."

"So go." She encouraged with some conviction; not much though.

"Thank you for the …" He lifted the box in acknowledgment.

"You're welcome. Thank you for doing me a favor."

"What did we just talk about Emily?"

"How you were leaving…" She joked. "Bye." This time she was pushing him out of the door. She knew, they both knew, if she hadn't, he would've stayed.

She watched him leave; leaning against the door as soon as it was closed and letting out a breath she shouldn't have been holding. "He is… Agh." She was frustrated for unknown reasons. He just got under her skin. He made her feel things she wasn't sure she was ready to or wanted to feel. But, she had other things to worry about than her possible, denied, feelings for her superior, friend, and daughter's father; like her talk with JJ. Yeah, she really needed to talk to him about that. But, until she saw him in the morning, she didn't want to dwell. Instead, she needed to focus on Charlie. Speaking of… It was entirely too quiet.

As she did that, Hotch walked to his car, looking back and staring for a moment as if he could see her there against the door. But, in reality, he couldn't. He just imagined what he thought she'd be doing and lingered on the thought before making his way home. He wished he cancelled or rescheduled; something, because the only thing on his mind were his girls; yes, he was calling them his. It was wildly possessive and not at all accurate, well semi accurate, but it was how he felt. How he honestly felt; in so many ways, they were both his.

He was running so behind. His usual timely manner was being tested and he had to ready himself in haste. No time for a shower, he cleaned himself up, sprayed on a bit of cologne, primped his hair, and clothes were changed quickly, but he had to hope for light traffic. It was a Sunday evening, it shouldn't have been too bad, but the place was on Capitol Hill, so there would be some. So much for being prompt. He needed to put himself out there. He knew that and reminded himself when appropriate. But why'd he pick that day? He could've rescheduled the moment Emily asked him to stay with Charlie. Then he could've stayed with them all day. His talk wouldn't have had to wait until morning, and he would've been there to say goodnight. His timing sucked. Moving on sucked. But, a part of him felt that the timing worked. He was looking for an excuse to remain partially distant with Emily because that was what he needed. And a date gave him that.

Thankfully, he arrived with ten minutes to spare. Beth was nowhere in sight. She wasn't much of an early bird, he concluded. She always struck him as a just on time kind of girl so it was no surprise that she showed up at seven and the maitre d escorted her to their table. Immediately, he stood. That was the proper way to greet a lady. "Beth." He acknowledged her politely.

"Aaron," she smiled, "it's good to see you." She walked to him and gave him a friendly hug. They weren't at the kiss greeting yet and anything more than a quick exchange was more than he was ready for with her.

"It's good to see you too. I'm glad you could make it." He pulled out her chair. "Please sit."

"Thank you."

"How was work?" He started in on the friendly small talk to break the nervous ice.

"It was good. We got everything we needed finished. All the new pieces arrived and were catalogued."

"That's good, right?" What did he know about the inner workings of museums?

"It's very good. It will save me from a few headaches tomorrow. I might even get a chance to get in some cycling if I'm lucky."

"I doubt I'll get that lucky."

"No, I don't think you will…"

Their light ice breaking talk went on for a little while so they could get to know each other a bit more. The waiter took their orders and they each chose a glass of wine; just one because they were driving. They were trying to have a good time. And they were, but Hotch's mind was divided. A part of him was there, present and having a fairly good time, but the other part was with his family; was with Emily and Charlie and thinking about how he wanted to approach his chat with Charlie that he was forced to have in the third person. They needed to discuss Charlie's curiosity about her father, about him, and figure out where they went next. But he tried to remain with Beth, tried to keep all thoughts about his date. Good news was that he was so divided he didn't have much room to be the anxious mess he thought he would be. He was poised, who was he kidding? He was always calm, cool, and collected; except with Emily. With her, he was anything but.

As he reached over to grab a roll, his sleeve rolled up exposing his wrist. "Nice bracelet." Beth teased.

"What?" He looked down to his right hand. "Oh. Yeah, I like it." He treasured it. A twisted mess of blue and red pipe cleaners tied around his arm as precisely as a little kid could manage and it was an immediate prized possession; a true sensation if only to him.

"It's cute. Did a kid make it for you?" She questioned curious to its nature.

"Yes."

"From a case?"

"No, no, not from a case. Uh, my kid made it for me." He wasn't sure he wanted to mention his children yet, but why not?

"Oh, you have a child?" Her eyes widened in surprise. She didn't know that. Though, why would she? They talked about neutral topics as they ran together, if they talked at all.

"A son… and uh… and a daughter." It felt weird. He was introducing a daughter to a new person for the first time. He openly got to say, "I have a son and a daughter." And there was no question. She didn't know the baggage there and the complicated history he had. To her, he just had a son and a daughter; not just a son. That made his dimples show.

"Oh, awesome. Is he as handsome as you?"

"I think he's much better looking than I'll ever be."

"And your daughter must be a little gem." She gave him a flirtatious grin. "How old are they?"

"We just celebrated his eighth birthday and she's five." Talking about them would never get old. His eyes shined a little brighter, she noticed.

"Such cute ages. We get kids at the museum all the time. It's amazing to see them look at everything with such new eyes. What are their names?"

He pulled out his phone like the proud papa he was and clicked on his photos. "That's Jack. It's from his party." She accepted the technology from him and examined the photo.

"Isn't he adorable. " Looking from the phone to Aaron, she compared the two. She saw so much of him in that little boy."He must just emulate his dad. Are you his super hero? FBI Aaron? He probably wants to be just like you."

"He has his moments. He dressed up as me for Halloween once."

"Oh, that's too cute." She returned the phone to him feeling like they were actually making headway. "What about your daughter? She dress up like you too?"

"No." He wasn't sure what she was for Halloween. He should know that… "She's more into the fairy tale version of what I do." That much he knew. Emily kept her connected to them by telling her stories in ways suitable for a child. He was Sir Aaron.

"Awe. Is she your little princess?"

"She's a very special girl." His sweetheart; his daughter, his life… "Here." He showed her a picture he took that day of the two of them together on the swings. Charlie was sitting on his lap and, though their faces were the only things seen in the photograph, she had one hand intertwined with his as they held onto the swing's chain. He surprised himself by sharing so much of his life with her so soon. He was a, generally, guarded person and he had restraint. On a normal day, he wouldn't just show off pictures to someone he was just getting to know. He was more cautious than that, but he wanted to forget that and just share the amazing creatures that were his children.

"God, look at that smile." She was talking about both of them. She knew him for a few weeks. They talked and they trained together, but not once did she see a smile like that on his face. It made him all the more attractive. "She's a beautiful little girl Aaron. You have some gorgeous children."

"Thank you." He would've blushed if he weren't so proud. His kids were great. Having it reaffirmed never hurt. "Do you have any?"

"Kids?" He nodded. "No, I don't have any kids. Love them; just never found the right guy."

"It could still happen." He just didn't know if he could ever see it happening with him.

"Maybe someday." It was time for a change in topic. Kids were not a first date topic.

"So, tell me a little more about what you do at the museum. Which museum was it anyway?" Beth gladly shared her work stories and he gladly listened.

"Do you like your work?"

"I do." He told her. "It's hard sometimes and it's challenging, but when we succeed and we help, it's all worth it."

"The travel though, that must be hard."

"It keeps me away from my children and that can be hard, yes, but I'm used to being away and they understand." For the most part…

"I go back and forth to New York for work, but that's nowhere near as extensive as your travelling. Do you even have set work hours?"

"We do. It doesn't mean we stick by them. They're more suggested than fixed. We get called away whenever we're needed." Work talk ended quickly, he wasn't up for talking serial killers and usually remained pretty censored about his work anyway.

"How's your training coming? I haven't seen you there all week."

"I've been busy so I've been going much and when I have it has been later in the evening. But it's going well. I shaved some time off my run, so that should help."

"That's great Aaron. By marathon day you should be ready."

"How about you? You ready for yours?"

"Yes." She stated cockily.

Dinner went well. They enjoyed their meals and talk with their wine. They ordered dessert and kept things pretty light. It was a good time. It was a date. And it wasn't as awkward as he was anticipating. But it was time to go. Being the man he was, he helped her with her coat and escorted her to her car.

Stopping just a foot in front of him as they reached her car, Beth said, "I have to admit, after the phone call earlier and how abruptly it ended, I wasn't sure how this was going to go, but I had a good time."

"I did too Beth. And about that phone call… I'm sorry. I was with my daughter and she got hurt."

"Is she ok?" Beth was quick to ask.

"She's… yes, she is. But I didn't know that at the time. So I apologize."

"No, don't apologize. You did what you needed to do. I just overreacted."

"But I did have a good time with you."

"We should do this again." She suggested.

"Sure, call me." It was easier that way; her calling him."

"How about a morning bike ride Saturday?"

"I have my son at 10."

"We can go early, work permitting. I could really use the extra practice and it's more fun with company."

"I'll try to make it work."

"And I'll understand if you have to cancel."

"Goodnight Beth." He opened the car door for her.

"Thank you." She said, and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. "Goodnight Aaron. See you soon."

Overall, he had a good time, but the most fun he had all night was talking about his kids. That seemed a little pathetic; sweet, incredibly so, but pathetic. It was a good first date though. It was pretty painless and he knew it was a start to putting himself out there. He just wasn't sure it cleared up any of those questions he had swirling. What exactly was he feeling, and who was he feeling it for?

Getting in the car, he headed out. Dating was weird and being back in the dating game was weirder. He never thought he'd have to experience the awkwardness. Though, it wasn't so bad. It could've been so much worse. He honestly wasn't sure what he was expecting from it all. Instant answers weren't something he thought he'd get, but a little clarity, maybe. And he didn't know what a normal date really was for an adult. Haley and he were teenagers when they met and they learned it all together. So it was different. His world was different in so many ways. It was just something he had to get used to.

Somehow, he ended up back there. That wasn't the plan. The plan was home. But when he got to the light and was given the choice left to home or right to her, he chose her. He turned on the blinker and switched lanes so he could go to her; to them. Pulling into the driveway brought about a nervousness he shouldn't have had. There was no reason for it. He was a strong man; he didn't need to get nervous when visiting a friend… visiting a friend that mothered his child… late at night… after being on a date with another woman… Yeah, it was a totally normal situation.

Grabbing the bottle he bought at the restaurant's wine bar, he exited the car and anxiously made his way to the door and knocked. He shouldn't have been there, and he shouldn't have knocked. It was late. What if they were sleeping? What if he woke her? What was he even doing there? Every part of his body was nervous. He didn't know what he was doing, but he needed to be there.

"Hotch?" She greeted the man at her door. "What are you doing here? It's almost ten and we agreed to talk in the morning."

"I know. Can I come in?"

"Yeah… I mean, yes, come in."

She escorted him in, offering to take his jacket. She assumed he was there to start their talk early. In many ways, she was grateful to just get it done rather than wait for the morning. "Charlie is…?"

"Asleep, in bed. It's a school night."

"Oh, well, I'm sorry I missed bed time."

"Next time."

He liked the sound of that. "Next time."

"You're dressed up for a weekend. Where were you?"

"Just… Just out." He didn't want to tell her where he was. "I brought this… for you. I remember you saying you found a taste for this one last time you went to France."

"Yes, thank you." She accepted the bottle. "Is this your way of telling me I shouldn't be sober when we talk?" She joked. It was a recurring theme. Maybe she needed a little alcohol to lower her inhibitions and talk more freely.

"You might want a glass." He said.

"I'll make it two. Join me in the kitchen and we can talk." He seemed almost surprised by the notion. "That's why you're here isn't it? To talk?"

No… Yes… Yes and no. "Of course, to talk." The two of them made their way into the kitchen to uncork the bottle and shuffle through some of that baggage they thought it was about time they unload. It would be an interesting end to their Sunday night and it would make for an interesting morning as well.

**Curious to know what went on with JJ and Emily? Me too. Next chapter. I really did want it in this chapter, but I couldn't do it. It was that or the fluffy goodness and I had to go with the latter. I can't control myself. I try to write a small family scene and it turns into half the chapter. But I just love a little Hotch/Charlie and Hotch/Emily… and I would've loved to put them all together for more than a few written minutes, but it didn't fit. There was just so much I wanted to write…**

**P.S. The Beth part killed me, but there's a reason she's there and I did warn some of you she might be making an appearance. But boy, the thought of them together made me want to vomit a little. **

**ForensicMidnightReader**** I was happy I updated too. And thank you. Enjoy the new chapter. I had a little fun with it.**

**frogs**** First, thank you for reading the story and thank you for the condolences. I am a big animal lover myself and my dog was very much a member of my family. So thank you for the support and I hope you like the new chapter. **

**TombRaider7**** Thank you, it's always nice to know people are enjoying this story. It makes the effort more worth it. I haven't decided how I'm going to do the rest of the team's reactions, but I promise to try and make it something good. Kids do seem to pick up on things first. They're generally more intuitive than most adults. And I didn't want to make Haley the bad guy. Yes, she was angry, but she also realized she didn't have a right to be. Granted, she was (and probably still is) a little upset, but nothing could be changed so she chose to be supportive. That felt more sincere than the alternative. I'm sorry to hear about your cat as well. It is hard, but I'm dealing. **

**Cinnamonfa**** Haley striked me as the advice giver; like that woman who doesn't really have it figured out but still has great advice and she didn't need to be the bad guy. They were equally at fault for their relationship undoing and I wanted that to show. But 90% seems about right, probably down to 20% if he took her advice. But what fun would that be? I'm involved in the lives of fictional characters as well. Maybe we're all crazy lol. Thank you, and I hope your dog gives you many more great years. **

**inheritancedrottningu**** Thank you! Here's more… a long more for you to read over and hopefully enjoy!**

**rmpcmfan**** They're not quite there yet. I'm sorry, don't kill me. The buildup will make the result better I promise. Or I hope; your opinion's not something I can promise. They admit things, but they deny them, but I've got some big things planned I just need to write them. Haley did her job. She made his feelings known. The rest is up to Hotch, and Emily too.**

**SouthunLady**** Everyone sees it but them and a group of profilers. Isn't that how it works? The people who should notice, don't… But he had to tell her. Haley deserved to know just like she needed to tell him what was obvious. She seemed most likely to do it. She had no need to hold back. Sorry I didn't get it in time for Christmas, but I hope the family time in this one makes up for it. I really wish the network would find a way to bring her in for a few episodes though. I need some Emily time and I believe Paget said she would, but Messer said it was a lot of red tape or something along those lines. **

**greengirl82**** Animals are family and thank you. I'll miss him greatly. Sorry to hear about Buddy, but happy you found new cats to love. I think I'm giving myself a breather before I get more. I didn't want Haley to be vengeful. It didn't seem like her. Angry yes, jealous, yes, and those will come into play again, but she was still a voice of reason. She just wants Hotch happy just like he wants for her. If that meant being with Emily, she'd help him out or at least accept it. The mini date was fun to write. I think I'll do another one eventually if it fits with the chapters. I think this chapter has some good moments too. And don't underestimate yourself. It was a good story. **

**Danielle . Scott**** I love that you love this story! I think most people expected Haley to act angry rather than the way I wrote it. In a way she was. She was angry and hurt, but she also understood it and she wants him to be happy. **

**HGRHfan35**** Thank you! I don't really enjoy writing Haley, but I asked myself to put me in her shoes. They both accepted it was over between them. I gave them a sense of resolution and finality, so how would she react? They're friends, but she still felt a little jilted. I thought it was feasible. Glad you agree. There was a dinner date… but not between Em and Hotch. But there was a lunch date with Hotch and Charlie and dessert between our budding duo. Thanks for the condolences and I'm sorry about your loss as well. Animals always hold a special place in our hearts (unless we're serial killers).**

**Emilyhotchnerforever**** JJ's more than suspicious. Oh boy… Haley's reaction was natural. It felt like he cheated and it stung, but I think anyone would've did that. But she realized what was going on and tried to be reasonable. I'm avoiding writing Strauss as much as I can. Does she ever have to find out…? blah I don't want to think about it. She reminds me of an old teacher I had… Not fun at all. The reactions will all be interesting and different for each person. They all have a different role so it should be cool to see I think. **

**That Squirrel**** Thank you! It never hurts to hear how much the story is loved. Not ever. My ego could use a boost every now and again. So thank you and I hope you keep reading and enjoying the story. **

**HPforever-after**** They're not running, but they are. I think now it's more about obstacles and acceptance. But once they get there, I think it will be great. The problem is getting there. He needs to realize things for himself rather than just believe everyone else. Emily kind of does too, but, in many ways they do realize their feelings. Denial is a hard virus to shake. **

**CalleighJ**** Emily's trying to be passive to protect herself and her little girl. It seems like something she'd do even if it meant missing out on something great. (which she is) but they're slowly coming to realization. It's coming and, I'll give you a teaser. There is a kiss coming up that Hotch doesn't initiate. Hope you had wonderful holidays. The reactions are coming. I'm excited. Are you excited?**

**Rugbygirrl**** I fooled everyone huh? I'm such a bitch. But there will be dates to be had with Emily and with Hotch. Dates will be had… Haley will be a big help I think, in the long run. **

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**


	29. Communication is Key

_I do not own Criminal Minds, only the characters I have created in that world._

**Very dialogue heavy chapter. I think that's part of the reason it took so long. Speaking of which, I should apologize, and I am sorry that I've made you wait, but, this time, I won't apologize for why. I was taking advantage of my ok-ness and enjoying being a normal girl for a little while. I don't think I can be faulted for that. But, seriously, I am sorry I made you wait. There's no waiting now though, so enjoy :)**

**And holy crap, there's like three feet of snow outside right now. I awoke the other day literally trapped inside. Shoveling sucked. Getting out of the house was an experiment… I hope everyone in the Northeast is safe after the blizzard. I've decided I need to move to a warmer climate. I won't, but a girl can dream. Sunny California sounds really nice right now. **

Chapter 29: Communication is Key

"Hotch?" She greeted the man at her door. "What are you doing here? It's almost ten and we agreed to talk in the morning."

"I know. Can I come in?"

"Yeah… I mean, yes, come in."

She escorted him in, offering to take his jacket. She assumed he was there to start their talk early. In many ways, she was grateful to just get it done rather than wait for the morning. "Charlie is…?"

"Asleep, in bed. It's a school night."

"Oh, well, I'm sorry I missed bed time."

"Next time."

He liked the sound of that. "Next time."

"You're dressed up for a weekend. Where were you?"

"Just… Just out." He didn't want to tell her where he was. "I brought this… for you. I remember you saying you found a taste for this one last time you went to France."

"Yes, thank you." She accepted the bottle. "Is this your way of telling me I shouldn't be sober when we talk?" She joked. It was a recurring theme. Maybe she needed a little alcohol to lower her inhibitions and talk more freely. Maybe she was too censored with a sober system. Was she that high strung?

"You might want a glass." He said.

"I'll make it two. Join me in the kitchen and we can talk." He seemed almost surprised by the notion. "That's why you're here isn't it? To talk?" Though, the look on his face said otherwise.

No… Yes… Yes and no. "Of course, to talk." The two of them made their way into the kitchen to uncork the bottle and shuffle through some of that baggage they thought it was about time they unload. It would be an interesting end to their Sunday night and it would make for an interesting morning as well.

"For you." She passed him a glass. "I love this one. Just the smell is amazing. Have you ever tried it?"

"No, I can't say that I have. But if it's as good as you say, then I'm sure I'll love it."

"Well, what are you waiting for? Try it." She encouraged him and waited for him to take a sip. Watching as he swirled his glass, inhaled that full bodied smell, and took that first tentative taste, she just smiled. She always did love a good wine. Growing up in Europe did that to her. And she loved to share it when she found a good one. That one was a great one. "Do you like it? It's good isn't it?"

"It's a good year." said Hotch as he took another sip. Truth was he wanted to gulp it up; not for the taste, though it was excellent, but because of the nerves he just couldn't settle. Why was he so nervous?

They sat at the island counter, slowly sipping their wine, their hands occasionally brushing against each other. It was comfortable even with the nervous tension. Both of their minds were wandering. Each had something to say and just didn't know how to say it. That seemed to be a running theme between them. Eventually, they had to realize that communication was their problem and, as experts have said, communication was key to any relationship; friendly or otherwise. Before, it never seemed to be an issue. But since the truth about Charlie came out and he learned he was her father, their ability to trust and accept whatever was said changed. It wasn't that they didn't trust each other. They did. They trusted that they had each others' best interests at heart and that they were at least trying to be open, but there was always this nagging doubt in their minds. For Hotch it was as simple as thinking that Emily kept something so huge from him and the team for so many years, what else was she hiding;; what other secrets was she keeping. And for Emily, there was doubt in his credibility. If he reacted that way, if he all but physically ran away from them then, what was to keep him from doing it again?

Professionally, they were fine; completely unchanged. Personally, they were damaged and lost. They wanted to just be ok. They wanted to be great co-parents. They wanted to be everything. But they couldn't admit what everything entailed. And, until they could, there was always going to be something missing. There would always be that residual doubt. Because they doubted themselves more than anything or anyone else.

But that wasn't a time for self reflection. No, they were just drinking it away; unintentionally, of course, they would end up drinking a little more than they should have. "Emily?"

"Yes Aaron?"

"I'm sorry I made you cry."

"What? Aaron, I'm not crying. And I can assure you, any crying I may have done today did not happen because of you." Not directly anyway…

"Charlie and I were talking…"

"Oh God, what did she say?" Emily suddenly wished she had something stronger in her glass. The grapey substance was much too delicate for whatever she was about to hear. "You should keep in mind that she's only five. And as smart as she is, sometimes she misreads things and, as poised as she is, she hasn't developed that think before you speak gene yet… And you're laughing at me. Why are you laughing at me?"

"It's cute… When you ramble, it's cute. It's not often you see Emily Prentiss get all worked up."

"Maybe my brain was more damaged than we thought. Repeated concussions and head trauma can do that."

"Or you're just human like the rest of us." That idea was clearly the better more hopeful choice.

"You mean, we're not robots?" She feigned shock as she gave an aghast gasp.

"No, we definitely aren't. We've come a long way from the beginning haven't we?"

"Which beginning is that?"

"When I first met you, you were just a kid."

"I was an adult." insisted Emily.

"You were just coming out of your Goth phase." He reminded her.

"Oh god, you saw the pictures?" Face palming in embarrassment, Emily mutters, "I'm going to kill Garcia."

"You can't blame Garcia for this one."

"No? Then who do I blame? Myself for ever thinking that was cool? Or maybe my mother for… for being my mother?"

With a boyish grin as he watched her blush, Hotch replied, "I think blaming your mother is a safe bet. She was the one to show me them."

"My mother showed you the pictures? I burned those pictures. I mean, I burned them; threw them in the fire with my fishnet and black lipstick. How did she… Which ones did she show you? What did she say to you?" Emily had her interrogation face on.

He was laughing now. Seeing the rosiness of Emily's cheeks brought an innocence to her that he rarely got to see. It wasn't often she got embarrassed and it was even less often she let people see. But he was witnessing it firsthand and he loved seeing it. "I can't tell you what she said. I was sworn to secrecy." He joked. He wanted to keep them where they were in this lighthearted, fun little bubble; no drama or seriousness, just two people sharing each other's company.

"Ahh… That means it was really bad. What was it? Something like, 'Mr. Hotchner, this here is my daughter Emily.' And she would've started out with a normal picture before pulling out the goods. 'Don't be fooled by that smile. She'll do nothing but get you into trouble. Just look.' Of course, that's when she'd show you the evidence of my awkward days and say something like, 'I don't know what I did to deserve this blah, blah, blah…'" She said, attempting to mimic the Ambassador's more nasal voice. "Am I close?"

"Something more along the lines of, 'You don't want to get involved with this. This is what she turns into. She'll put a spell on you if you even go near her.' I don't remember her exact wording. And then there was a photo share and a story about a previous boyfriend. I'm pretty sure there was a strict directive to avoid you unless told otherwise."

"Which boyfriend?" She asked wearily. "No, actually, don't tell me. That'll make it worse. Remind me to kill her the next time she's in town. But make sure I torture her first. I want her to suffer before I end it."

"I can't let you do that. Then I'd have to arrest you." teased Hotch.

"Arrest me? You're supposed to help me hide the body. At least I have JJ for that." JJ… "She'd help me."

"I'm sure anyone on the team would help you."

"But you'd arrest me? Nice Aaron, really nice."

"I wouldn't arrest you. I'd have someone else do that. I'd strap on my lawyer shoes and help get you out."

"Oh great. That makes it all better. Thanks."

"Anything for the mother of my daughter. Charlie would need you. And if you didn't get off, I'd help orchestrate your jailbreak." He joked.

"Well, at least you'd do that."

They bantered a little more as he tried to cheer her up. She never wanted those pictures to see the light of day and he saw them. He thought it only fair he make her smile again. "Look on the bright side. When boys start to date our daughter, we can just show them one of the pictures and say, 'this is what you're getting yourself into. Is that really what you want?' As long as their normal, they'll run."

"And if they're not?"

"Not what?"

"Normal."

"A tour of my gun collection should do the trick. Or we can get you to dress up like that again and that should send them packing."

"Nice Hotch. Really nice."

"I'm just that kind of guy."

"Ok, ok, my teenage rebellion and awkward phases aside… We need to move on. Seriously Hotch. What were you talking about before? Why did you think you made me cry?"

"Drink this." He put a tumbler down before her. Sometime during their lighthearted joking about Emily's past, they gravitated into the dining room with the key to the liquor cabinet and a new bottle before them.

"Two fingers? What could she possibly have said?"

"Kid's say the craziest things."

Wasn't that the truth? And so did adults… even when crazy turns out to be truth; it was still crazy. "You better join me." She filled a second glass and slid it to rest in front of him. "You should drink it." It would lessen the possible blow. "Apparently, it helps." It was his idea.

"Don't I know it." He had some of those days; days where alcohol was the only thing around to numb the pain. Something told him the night was only going to get more interesting. But neither was ready to make it so. They wanted to talk. They wanted to get serious. But they were just enjoying each other's company. Stepping into such murky waters could've or would've ruined the progress they were making.

"Hotch." "Prentiss." They called for each other at the same time; much too formal for where they were and what they were doing. Drinking buddies, friends, and parents could use first names.

"Emily." "Aaron." They tried again, laughing at their comedic timing.

"Maybe you should start Aaron. I mean, you did drive here after doing whatever had you getting all dressed up, just to talk to me. Obviously it felt important enough that it couldn't wait 'til tomorrow." And she didn't know what to say yet. Her mind was a Rubik's cube waiting to be solved.

"It's nothing bad." He tried to sound convincing, but he didn't know why. It wasn't bad; not really. "I'm just… I'm sorry."

"But why? For what? Why are you sorry?"

"Charlie asked about me today." There was no breath as he spoke; no pause from the moment Emily finished speaking to the second he began. "She asked about me."

"Ok." She didn't understand why that required a talk, but ok… "So she asked about you."

"She asked about her dad."

She understood then. "Oh, she asked about you." She emphasized the last word. "What… What did she ask?"

"She asked if I knew her daddy." She looked to him with eyes wide open. Charlie rarely, if ever asked about him. Why ask someone else? "So I told her I did."

"Ok." One word responses were as good as she could dish. The whole thing was taking her by surprise. Why didn't Charlie just go to her? She would've answered her questions…

"Then she asked about my looks; called my dimples…"

"Holes." She finished for him.

He nodded. "Then pimples. It was… It was very cute." Very much how he imagined a little Emily; so determined to know the right word and even when she was wrong, brushing it off and still sounding like the smartest person in the room. He went on to explain how he answered all the little girl's questions about his looks and overall character as best he could. He left out the question about how he felt about Emily. He didn't have an answer for that and saying they'd talk about it when she was older wouldn't be an appropriate response for the woman there with him. It barely worked on the child. "I asked her why she didn't ask you about me."

"Yeah?"

"She told me talking about her dad makes you sad."

"What?" She was genuinely surprised by that one. It wasn't that the whole turn of conversation wasn't surprising enough, but where would Charlie get that from? What inclination had she ever given that talking about him would make her sad? Would it have been painful? Maybe. And it may have been hard and so many other things, but even if she was sad, she wouldn't let it show to their daughter. She wouldn't let what she was feeling, good or bad, affect how their daughter felt. "Why?"

"Told me she heard you talking about him, about me, and you were crying. When you cry she gets sad too." Saying the words, owning up to his actions, and seeing the reactions of two women in his life that meant so much to him; he was hurting too.

"Oh…" That was all she had in her; all her breathlessness would allow was that short winded word.

"Emily." He reached out for her, wanting to comfort her. She had a look of mortification and sadness that stirred something in him. All he wanted was to make it go away. "I'm sorry." He spoke with sincerity as he squeezed her leg and looked to her as best as he could. "I'm sorry that I wasn't there and I'm sorry for what I did. I'm just… I'm sorry. All I can say is that I'm sorry."

"I know Aaron." A hand ran through her hair before she moved both palms to cover her face. She was stressing, trying to find out just when Charlie heard her crying after talking about Aaron. When? How? "I know you're sorry. We wouldn't be here if I didn't believe it." But it didn't mean she didn't want to hear it. Yes, she believed it. She knew he was sorry. She saw that he was trying and so was she. But they were still living in a messy situation and day after day it just seemed to get messier. And it wasn't his fault. She was aware of that. If anything, she mostly blamed herself. She just… Well, she was confused and she felt vulnerable and exposed. He made her vulnerable.

"I never wanted to hurt you." That was mostly true. Maybe not intentionally, but subconsciously, he did want to hurt her just a little. He was hurt, it made sense he'd want her to feel the same. "And I definitely didn't want to hurt her."

"I know Aaron." She tried to sound assuring, but it might've fallen a little flat. She did know. But he needed to know that it wouldn't be accepted again.

"But I did. I hurt you and I hurt our daughter and I will never truly convey how sorry I am for the mistakes I made. And they were mistakes."

"We've both made plenty of mistakes. There are many things we could've and should've done differently. But, I think it's best that we just move on from it; learn from it. We have to try. You're in her life now. That's where we are."

"I just don't want her to be harmed anymore. I don't want her to feel the way I made you feel."

"She won't. You didn't hurt her. She doesn't know anything."

"She knows more than we think." He hesitated, slowly moving just a little closer to her; leaning into her. "She uh… She asked if he… if I loved her…" She wasn't sure why that felt so much like a stab at her heart. She did her best to instill in Charlie that her father, though not present, loved her very much. And, in her heart, she knew that to be true. But it felt a bit, no very much, like she failed when she heard that. She obviously didn't do a very good job.

"And what did you tell her?"

"I told her the truth."

"Which is…?" It shouldn't have been a question she had to ask, but it needed asking. She thought she knew the answer, but she also thought she knew a lot of other things that she was then questioning too.

"That it shouldn't be a question Emily. I love her and I told her as much. She's questioning whether I love her. Don't you see something wrong in that?"

"I see plenty wrong with that Aaron." Her hand was rubbing at her temples before she sucked back another drink. She needed that burn to lessen the other burn in her chest.

He sighed, silently agreeing with her. "And what are we going to do about it?"

It was her turn to sigh. "I don't know Aaron. I don't know." Her head shook. "I wish I did, but I don't."

"I want to tell her. I want her to know Emily. She tried to ask me where I was, where her father was, and if you hadn't walked in I would've had to lie to her. I don't want to lie anymore. I want her to know that I'm here and that I love her and that she has a brother too. I want all of that. And I know she wants it too." With determination, he added, "We've waited long enough."

At first, Emily wasn't sure what she could say. She didn't know what she was meant to say. Yes, she supposed; she should've told him yes. But was it really that simple? She had years to try and figure things out and she never could. How was she supposed to have the answers on the spot like that? She had to wonder if he was having the same dilemma; wanting but not knowing how to get. "I don't know." She said quietly, her voice barely registering with him, but heard nonetheless. And it made him feel a little defeated. It felt like she was saying no and he didn't want that. He didn't know how he'd react if he heard that. And, after all the progress they made, he didn't want to revert back a few months. He didn't want it to be a fight.

"You don't know what?" He asked firmly.

"I don't know anything right now."

Without thinking, he blurted, "I had papers drawn up."

She didn't have to question what kind of papers he was speaking of. She knew. But that didn't stop her from turning to him, anger in her eyes and asking, "What?! Papers?"

"I didn't do anything with them. They're just sitting in a file locked away. But I had to do it." He was once a prosecutor. He knew law. That was his background. He was worried though. She was quiet; too quiet. And that information was never supposed to see the light of day, yet he just blurted it out. He blurted it out in the middle of a civil conversation because a part of him wanted to catch her off guard. He wanted her to know that he had a role in it too; that he had power. He just didn't want to do it quite like that; not in a way that could ruin everything they worked for. "Please say something."

She shouldn't have expected anything different. She let the walls down just enough to have her fears thrown back at her. "What do you want me to say to that?" She hissed. Civility was a privilege she didn't want to extend to him then. But she was trying. She blamed no one but herself; mostly.

"I didn't do anything with them Emily. I assure you. I had them drawn up by a friend of mine after you and I basically agreed to disagree. They were purely precautionary."

"Precautionary? I told you we would try. We are trying. Isn't that enough?"

"No. At the time, it wasn't." It was different then even if it was only a short while ago. Things were more battle like. He had to be prepared if he needed to fight.

"And now? Is it enough now?"

"I want it to be." But was it? "Please don't be angry." But how could she not?

"I want to be mad at you. I am mad. You have no idea how much I want to yell and scream and do all sorts of things. And in my head, I'm doing every single one of them." She was angry, more than she could voice, but she couldn't tell if it was because of the fears she was facing or the act in itself. So, she tried to remain calm. She needed to be the rational one.

"But…?" He sensed a but and it left him optimistic. Maybe he didn't destroy the foundation they've built.

"But," she took a very deep breath, "but I understand why you did it." And she hated herself for it. She felt doubt. He had to feel it too. Because of that, she understood. Angry as she was, she had to understand. That was what was best for their daughter.

"You do?" That, he wasn't expecting.

"It doesn't make it easier, but I do understand." Her emotions were all over the place and she couldn't control it. Her eyes were misty, but she refused to let it show as she looked to him. "You want her in your life."

"I do."

"I get that. Knowing that you would do that though… I don't know how to feel about that." If he used those papers, if he took her to court… So many ifs were going through her mind and what became of them wasn't pretty.

"I wasn't planning on… I didn't intend to use them." She glared at him. Just having them written was intent enough. He agreed. "Ok, they were meant to be used, but I didn't want to. I needed to be prepared. If things went wrong or you decided that I wasn't worthy." He was desperately trying to explain the best he could. He didn't know if it was working and he wouldn't blame her if she hated him for the mere suggestion. "You have all the control Emily. You have the ability to just cut off my legs and tell me to take a hike."

"But I wouldn't." She really wouldn't. Once he was in, he was in. She already said there was no turning back. He was more involved each day. So she couldn't. She realized then, that maybe a small part was fighting him because she didn't know any better. She didn't know how to truly let him be a part of the Prentiss world. But she was trying and she didn't want him to think that every mistake was going to be his last with them. Adults made mistakes. Parents made mistakes. And, as long as he wasn't intentionally trying to punish or hurt either one of them, she wouldn't fight his presence. She wanted him there more than even she realized.

"But you could." Another sigh passed. "You could take her away and that terrifies me because I love her. I don't know her like I should and I want that chance, but even if I knew nothing more than her name, I'd love her still. She is my family. She and Jack are my life and I can't imagine not having her there anymore."

"And I don't want that. I want her to be a part of both of your lives as little or as much as you'd like."

"I just want her to know who I am and to be a permanent part of my life. She's important to me. I want to be important to her too." That was what they all wanted.

"I remember a conversation I had with Charlie when she was just a baby, still safe inside me. I told her that I would give her everything a child could want and need. I would give her a good home full of love. I would be there for her whenever for whatever. I'd support her when she is right and even more when she is wrong. And I promised her that I would make things right with you. I promised her that I would try to bring you to her. And it took a while, but here we are. I meant what I said to her. And I still mean it now."

"So you're saying we can tell her?" His voice was full of hope and promise.

"She's bound to find out sooner or later. But we have to do it right."

"There's a right way?" He questioned with skepticism. It felt like a stall tactic.

"No, but there is a wrong way. I want it to be as easy as possible for everyone. So after her appointment with Lozano, I'll ask her how we should broach the topic."

"That sounds reasonable." Reasonable enough to agree to.

"And I'll make you a deal."

"What kind of deal?"

"You get rid of those papers; you promise me you'll never try to take her away from me." She looked at him sternly. "You promise me that, and I promise you that once she knows and once she's comfortable, we make things official. We'll get your name and signature on her birth certificate. We'll shout it from the rooftops… Whatever… Just don't threaten to take my daughter from me. That's not fair to me and it's not fair to her. It's time she had a man to call dad rather than the distant memory of a bedtime story and a fictionalized version of a man named Sir Aaron. But she doesn't need to lose me in the process. I am her mother and my fault or not, I'm the only parent she knows."

"You're right." He admitted. She was the only parent she knew. "I don't want her to lose you. That's the point. I want her to have both of us. There doesn't have to be a choice. So, if ripping up those papers gets us closer to that, I'm willing to do that. But you have to promise me that you won't just change your mind. I'm in this. I'm here. And I'm not going anywhere."

"You have a deal Mr. Hotchner." In all seriousness, she held out her hand for him to shake.

"You too Ms. Prentiss." His hand locked with hers as they shook, holding just a little too long.

"Even with everything; with all the emotions and talking, today was still nice though…" Emily spoke with a tiredness in her voice. The emotions of the day were getting to them. It was getting later and neither had any wish for the night to end.

"What was nice?"

"Coming home to see you holding our daughter. To see you comforting her and taking care of her… It was nice." It was something she wished for all along; something she didn't know if she'd ever experience.

"It was nice. It felt good. Right." He looked to her, taking another leisurely sip from his glass. "Felt like we've always known each other, like I was her father from the moment she was born."

"Well, you were her father from birth." Emily tried to joke and lighten the mood; pull away from the serious one they were taking, but it didn't relieve much.

"No, she had someone else to take care of her. She had you, and she had Clyde." And she had Mike when he was around, but Emily wasn't going to make things worse for herself by adding that. "But now she has me."

"Then here's to you." She held up her glass. "For being here now."

"And here's to you." He clinked his glass against hers. "To us." He added before sipping once more. "To the future and to our daughter."

"I can drink to that."

"Me too."

So they did. They drank to it. And they continued to drink a little too much for a school night, but they were adults and it was their choice. And, if it helped them clear the air and get everything out in the open, then so be it. Then it was what needed to be done. While them and alcohol tended to lead to something, this time wasn't about that. It was simply about talking openly and freely. A little liquid courage, just enough to get them to lose that nagging voice in their head that held them back, didn't hurt.

"So we talked about what I wanted to talk about. We drank and we had a few laughs. But there was something you wanted to talk about too, right?" She nodded. "What was it?" Emily huffed as she fell back into the couch, the cushions bouncing with the hit.

Just thinking about what she needed to say and what she had been partially avoiding was giving her a headache. It was making her crazy and she was wishing she indulged just a little more on that fine wine earlier. She just needed to blurt it out. It worked for him… No, she couldn't do that. Well, she could, but she didn't. "I don't like secrets Hotch. I don't like them. They always come back to bite me in the ass and they have a way of ruining lives. But some secrets, some truths are better left untold."

"Where's this going Emily?"

"I think… I think JJ knows." She stated nervously.

"Knows?" He questioned.

"Here." She said, using her foot to slide the bottle on the coffee table toward him. Somewhere along the way without her knowledge, though she had been sitting on the couch for some time, they found their way to the living room. "Your turn to drink up."

"_I've been watching you." JJ said cryptically._

"_Ok…" Did she need to be worried? "Should I be working a profile right now? Running while I still can?" Humor was always a good way to deflect. She was worried about where the talk was heading._

"_No. Emily. I'm trying to be serious." Emily nodded, shaking the small nervous smirk off her face. "I've been observing you. And I've noticed some things."_

"_Noticed what kind of things?"_

"_In New York, you said… You made it seem like… but later I learned it was Charlie's father and…" the thoughts were scrambled and unfinished, but Emily understood. _

"_Yeah?" Her heart rate sped up. Where was the conversation going? JJ wasn't even sure of that. _

"_I know him right? We've worked with him? I've met him once or twice?"_

"_Once or twice… Yes." She wasn't lying. She was intent to believe that. "Is this what has been on your mind? Why you've been so distracted?"_

"_No. I haven't been distracted." Emily just gave her that wide eyed, scrunched eye browed look that said it all. "Ok, yes, maybe… I just have a lot on my mind."_

"_I'm on your mind?"_

"_It's just… You've always been so secretive."_

"_Jayje…" Apologizing didn't seem near enough, but it was all she really had to offer._

"_No, it's ok. I get it." She shook her head to keep Emily from speaking. "I accept that. I know you tell me things in your own time and you try to protect everyone from everything, but…"_

"_But what JJ?"_

"_But I just have this nagging feeling… It's just… I can't explain it, but it's always there."_

"_And I'm that nagging feeling?" She suddenly felt so much worse about herself. _

"_Do you trust me Emily?" That wasn't the answer she was looking for. A 'No Emily' would've been great._

"_I can honestly say that I do. You are one of the few friends I made over the years that I feel I can trust." Everyone at the BAU was in that category. Them and Clyde and a select few; it was a short list. _

"_But you kept Charlie a secret?"_

"_Yes, and I shouldn't have. I see that now. You have no idea how many times I wanted to say something or I wanted to have a play date with Henry."_

"_Then why not trust us, trust me, enough to tell us?"_

"_It's not about trust JJ." Her voice was raised and she had to look around the café. She was taught not to create a scene and there she was doing just that. "JJ, it's not… It's not about trust." She spoke more calmly. _

"_Then why not come to me? I would've kept my mouth shut."_

"_I know you would have. But I couldn't and I didn't. Because, I thought I was doing the right thing."_

"_Because of Doyle?"_

"_Yes."_

"_But also because of her father." It wasn't a question. She just wanted the response._

_Emily's inclination was to turn away. She wished she was anywhere but there, like at home with her daughter and Aaron playing tea party or running around outside. It wasn't that she wanted away from JJ; it was that she wanted away from the questions. She wanted to talk. She wanted to be open, but if she couldn't even talk to him about their situation, how was she supposed to talk to their coworker about it? Then again, JJ was much more than just a coworker. "He is, or was, part of the reason too."_

"_But now he knows and Doyle's gone."_

"_Yes."_

"_So why are you still keeping so many secrets?"_

"She knows something Hotch. I think I got her to believe… something. But, but she knows or she thinks she knows who Charlie's father is. At the very least, she's suspicious of me, you… us."

"So she knows it's me?"

"I don't know. She didn't come out and say that," not exactly, "but it sure felt like she was intimating that. Sometimes, she's not nearly as subtle as she thinks. She might as well come right out and asked if it was you."

"What do you mean?"

"_Emily…" JJ cut off Emily's rant. She was going on about something not important to distract them from the craziness and talk about secrets and all of that. And JJ allowed her too, even did the same. Emily wasn't sure what to say from one moment to the next and the humor clearly wasn't getting her far, so she went with a rant that made no sense, but it at least bought her some time. "Emily please stop."_

"_What?"_

"_I want to talk to you."_

"_We are talking."_

"_I love hearing all about everything, and I'd be happy to hear it all later, but right now, there's really something we need to focus on."_

"_And what's that?"_

"_Charlie." She simply stated like it answered all unasked questions. But it didn't._

"_What about her?"_

"_You never answered my question."_

"_Which question?"_

"_About twenty minutes ago, I asked why you're still keeping so many secrets."_

"_And I didn't answer."_

"_No, you didn't. You went on to give me the low down of horseback riding and your mother's latest way to drive you crazy. And I do agree, buying Charlie a horse is a little extreme, but what little girl doesn't dream of a pony? And see… You're doing it again. You're too good at that."_

"_At what?" She laughed._

"_At changing the subject."_

"_Maybe I change the subject because I don't have an answer."_

"_I need you to have an answer. I need to understand." _

"_I don't know if I can give you that. I am programmed this way. Speak when spoken to. Always look the part. Do what you're told. Be who you're told. That's what I know. And I've gotten better over the years."_

"_You have." JJ agreed with the hopes that it would take them further. Emily had showed tremendous growth. She wasn't that slightly shy and awkward newbie anymore. She was a trusted friend and colleague. _

"_And I'm still trying to be better at it. If I thought it was as easy as just coming out and saying things and knowing everything would be ok in the end, I would. But when I do that, my heart races. My body goes into a panic. And I have talked to my therapist. JJ, I am working this out with a shrink. But I can't be cured of this. It's not a disease. It's just me."_

"_I'm not asking you to do anything different. I only want you to be you. I want you to talk to me like we always do without having to worry about any of that."_

"_That's what I'm doing."_

"_No, you're not."_

"_Well, I'm trying."_

"_Tell me about him then." JJ offered._

"_Who?"_

"_You know who Emily. If you're really trying, tell me about him." _

"_Oh-kay." She couldn't exactly say no. She knew she had been better about things since she began really listening to Claire. "What do you want to know?" But old habits still ran strong through her blood. _

"_How have things been between you two?"_

"_They've been much better. Good; they've been very good."_

"_Have you two," she made a hand gesture that was easily understood, "again?"_

"_No JJ. We are strictly platonic." She assured her. The kiss was just a distant, but revered, memory that filled another box. "We just want what's best for our daughter."_

"_And is he what's best?"_

"_Excuse me?" What the hell was happening?_

"_I haven't heard all that much about him." She started, looking from her cup to Emily "But every time he comes up, you're either in tears or you slept with him."_

"_That doesn't make me sound like a whore." She added sarcastically. _

"_You're not. I'm not saying that."_

"_I know." She sounded dejected, almost angry with herself. She was falling into old patterns. She didn't want to be who she once was. "What are you trying to say?" Because, honestly, if they didn't get there quick, she didn't know how much more she could take. Her self-worth was kind of dwindling. _

"_I'm saying that with him, you're either at an extreme low, or doing something you might not normally do."_

"_What does that mean?" She had no idea what that meant. _

"_I don't want him toying with you."_

"_He's not."_

"_It seems like he is."_

"_I'm a big girl JJ." She said with a smile. "I know when enough is enough and I know right from wrong." Worry she could live with. Feeling like she was forever being judged she could not. "Things with us are ok."_

"_And having you literally breaking down when you were already in such a weakened place both physically and emotionally is ok?" She was laying it on a little thick, but it was her concern getting to her. She had a week of festering thoughts and anger building with the idea that it was a shared friend that put them in this position. "Using you is ok?"_

"_I appreciate the concern…"_

"_No Emily. Just no."_

"_JJ?"_

"_You don't get to do this. You don't get to tell me everything's fine and you're ok. I know you're ok. You're always ok."_

"_I'm…"_

"_You are. You were in the hospital and you were ok. You were hit in the head with a chunk of wood and you were ok."_

"_You got a shovel to the head so…"_

"_No Em, please stop."_

"_Stop what?" Emily had no idea what was happening. What were they doing? Why was JJ so upset?_

"_Stop trying to deflect or overcompensate or talk your way around things." She was losing it. That was what happened when Jennifer Jareau tried to compartmentalize. Things festered and boiled. That was why she tried not to ever do it. "Just listen to me! Talk to me! Please."_

"_Ok. Ok." She surrendered. "I'm sorry."_

"_Thank you." JJ exhaled. "So, back to what we were talking about. Tell me more about him."_

"_What else is there to know?" Other than whom he was? Seriously, the day was a mood disorder in rapid form stuffed in a bottle for all to witness. _

"_He really treats you ok now? After everything… Things are better?" The genuine concern and love that radiated from the blonde were the only things keeping Emily from reacting any other way but civil. She could've been angry. She could've taken the whole situation as an invasion of privacy. But all she saw was her good intentioned friend worried about her, so she decided to just answer what she could as best she could._

"_Yes."_

"_No more tears?" It wasn't what she wanted to ask, but at that point, she was asking whatever in hopes of getting anything. _

"_Not lately, no." Honesty; it felt refreshing. _

"_He has been there for you?"_

"_As much as he can." She felt she had to defend him. Really, she didn't. There was no rule that said she had to. She could've left him out there to hang. JJ had a right to an opinion and Hotch did make some poor calls, but so did she. Because of that, she needed to defend him. She needed JJ to believe that he was becoming, or continuing to be, the great guy they knew he could be. Then she could believe it would last. She still had moments of doubt. _

"_So he hasn't?"_

"_No JJ, he has. He works crazy hours just like we do and he has other things in his life." It sounded a lot like she was making excuses and she didn't like that, but she wasn't. "He's making the effort. I know it must not seem like it, but he really is a good guy."_

"_I remember New Year's. I remember sitting on the floor with you as you cried. And I'm not complaining." She quickly added. "I'd do it again; time and time again because I am your friend and I will always be there. But it shouldn't have happened. He shouldn't have made you cry. He shouldn't have said what he said to you. He shouldn't have that power over you." With a look that could only be described as one of disappointment and just a hint of sadness, JJ asked, "How is that him being a good guy?" The flaxen haired woman realized that she would not be able to look her boss in the eye on Monday. Whether she was convinced he was a saint or a demon, the questioning she had would prevent their normal ease."How is that, any of that, ok?"_

_The bad memories of that night were surfacing like a fast acting virus. They were just hitting her like a brick to the face. Way to beat a dead horse into the ground… Thanks JJ. "It's not ok." Emily admitted. "But things were different then. How would you react to finding out you had a long lost daughter that was," almost literally, "under your nose?" She couldn't control herself. "He reacted poorly. I won't argue that. But you don't know the facts. You don't know everything that happened and everything he has done since."_

"_You're right; I don't because you won't tell me."_

"_He said things that upset me. He said things he regrets and he has apologized since."_

"_That makes it all forgiven? Completely forgotten?"_

"_Forgiven? Yes, I have forgiven him or, at least, that's what I'm trying to do. What he said and done will stay with me. I won't ever forget that, but he deserves the chance to know Charlie and Charlie to know him. So we're trying to move on. We have to."_

"_You want to." JJ clarified for her._

"_No, well yes. I do want to, but I also have to. I don't want to live with resentment or wondering what could've been. I've done that for far too long. I know you don't understand. How can you? I don't expect you to. And I don't expect you to agree with my choices. You've only seen the bad. But I know what's best for me and Charlie. You have to accept that or try to understand. You have to let me do this and I'll be the first one to tell me you told me so if things go bad."_

"_I wouldn't do that."_

"_But you'd want to."_

"_Maybe." JJ admitted. "So things are actually better?"_

"_Yes."_

"_He's seeing her more often?"_

"_Whenever he can."_

"_And you guys are really talking things through? Just talking?"_

"_We're talking. He's seeing Charlie and that's what's most important. But, he has apologized to me. He is sorry. I know he is and he's trying to make up for it. He wants to be there. He wants to be the guy she can count on. I'm not going to turn him away."_

"_And you shouldn't…" She guessed. "I guess if you can work through things, I can try too. Tell me what he is like." If she wasn't going to get any clear cut answers, she was at least going to get some details. "What do you do together?"_

"_He plays tea party with Charlie." Emily said with a smile. "I wish you could see it. They are adorable together. He…" They went on talk about the nameless Hotch, adopting to abide by the faux anonymity their conversation had taken on for the duration. They both knew; they just didn't know…_

Of course, Emily left most of that out. Hotch only needed the pertinent details. He didn't need to know that, because of her, people who were supposed to trust him and follow his orders on a daily basis, people who put their lives in his hands, doubted him. He didn't need to know that JJ was questioning his parental skills as well as his overall character. Everyone was flawed. He knew he was too. That didn't mean she needed to give him more incentive to beat up on himself. He seemed to sufficiently punish himself already.

So she told him very little, but enough to get the point across.

_After juicing every detail she could think of out of a surprisingly forthcoming Emily, JJ decided to take it one step further. "I look at her and I see something so familiar."_

"_That's not so unbelievable Jayje. She is my little mini me."_

"_But it's not just you I see."_

"_Then what do you see?"_

"_I swear she had this little Hotch frown. But that's crazy, isn't it? I mean, how can I see Hotch? She's not related to him. Right?" JJ didn't understand why she couldn't just come right out and ask if Hotch was Charlie's father. Maybe it was because she knew it was too much too soon for Emily. She'd run from it and that wasn't what JJ wanted. She just wanted truth. And really, she wasn't entirely sure she wanted that._

"_That is crazy." She looked away. She hated lying to her best friend. She hated keeping secrets. And she knew that secret would get out eventually. But she didn't want it to be like that. She wanted it to be a joint decision; something she and Hotch agreed upon. She wanted to sit them all down and tell them not have word spread through the group like wildfire or gossip at the water cooler. So as much as she wanted to tell her and as often as she thought about it, Emily knew she had to keep it to herself just a little bit longer. _

"_I thought so too. Don't you see it though? She looks like she could have a little Hotchner in her." Yeah, she wasn't coming right out and asking, but she wasn't doing a great job of disguising it either. _

"_Yeah; yeah, sure. She just gets that from her father I guess…"_

"She asked that?"

"Subtle right?"

"Yeah, really subtle."

"I wasn't sure what to say."

"So what did you do?"

"I did what I always do."

_The brunette was befuddled. JJ was dropping hint after hint and Emily was trying not to read too much into it. But they were at a point where she couldn't exactly ignore it. A dozen or so "subtle" drops about Aaron in less than an hour wasn't exactly a covert op make. JJ needed to work on that. _

"_JJ, why are you… are you trying to ask me something here?"_

"_No." She answered unconvincingly._

"_Really, because you brought up Hotch once every five to ten minutes like clockwork. What's that about?"_

"_I'm just saying that she looks a little like him. But it could be anyone really. We don't know much about your past so the guys in it are really a mystery." She looked right into Emily's eyes. "For all we know, you and Hotch could've been a thing."_

"_That's funny Jayje. Hotch and me…" Not so funny. Terrifying and mind blowing and body tingling and all sorts of other feelings. Funny wasn't one of them._

"_I don't think it's funny. You both are so alike and still so different that you'd actually be a good couple."_

"_He and I are not, nor have we ever been a couple." Her voice didn't waiver. It was firm and strong because there was no dishonesty in her statement; though she did skirt around the reality of it just a bit. However, she couldn't admit that it pained her to say that. They weren't a couple. They had never been one. And they probably never would be. _

"_I know."_

"_Ok, good."_

"_Would you want to be?"_

"_Be what?" She played dumb. She didn't want to do the personal life reflection thing. Her track record with men sucked and she was way too messed up to truly see her feelings for him. _

"_A couple."_

"_With Aaron?" She put her foot in her mouth with that one._

"_Oh, so he's Aaron now." JJ knew the teasing wasn't great for her best friend status, but she wanted the reaction. She needed to see what kind of rise she got out of Emily. _

"_Jayje."_

"_Come on Emily, even you have to admit there's something there."_

"_Where's there something?"_

"_You don't think there's any chemistry between you and Hotch?"_

"_He's my boss."_

"_That's not an answer."_

"_It is because even if there was any chemistry, which there's not, he is still my boss."_

"_And that's all?"_

"_Of course. What else would he be?"_

"_Did you know he was at that party you were telling me about?"_

_Emily didn't think much about what JJ said, just focusing on the crumbly muffin in front of her and swirling her coffee. "Which party?"_

"_The one your mother threw… The one where Charlie was conceived…" If she had food in her mouth, she would've choked. She would've swallowed so hard and so fast, the substance would've caught in her throat. But since there was nothing even remotely close to being in her mouth, she just stilled. She tensed and she snapped her head in JJ's direction._

"_He was?" Of course he was. But how did she know that?_

"_Yeah. You didn't know that?" She asked skeptically. Oh, she knew. _

"_No, had no clue."_

"_Really?"_

"_Really. There were so many people there. I mostly kept to myself." _

"_So there's no chance that he's…?"_

"_No chance what?" She really didn't want her to finish that question. Her eyes were working some mind voodoo to get JJ to ask anything else._

"_There's no chance we could find some embarrassing old pictures of the two of you together?" She wanted to ask. She was going to ask. She just couldn't do it. _

"You lied?" He didn't really have to ask to know the answer. It was what he assumed she did, not because it was what she did best; that wasn't true. But because he knew she'd do whatever she had to and that included lying to her best friend. He didn't envy her and he wasn't happy that she was, no they were, in that position. He would've done the same.

"I lied." Dolefully, she answered. She lied. And it sucked.

_JJ realized she didn't just go there to find out the truth. Though she was hoping by the time they left that Emily would've spilled the beans, she realized that it was more about her peace of mind. She didn't need to know if it was him as much as she needed to know that whoever he was, he was treating them well; that he was no longer hurting them and deserting them. That was all she needed and she got that. The rest, she knew, would come to her eventually. And she knew. She knew it was him. Confirmation would just be the last nail in the coffin. But, she understood, that it was Emily just being Emily. By not confirming anything, by not coming right out and saying it, she was keeping JJ and the team, all of their jobs safe. There were policies for a reason. And as much as JJ would like to have just been the ear to Emily's voice, she knew that Emily truly believed that the ignorance was bliss. _

_And seeing the way Emily's face lit up as she talked about him, seeing a brightness that had been lacking, and hearing the calm in her voice; that was enough to convince her that, while he still had a long way to go in her book, he was doing something right. It took a hell of a man to get Emily Prentiss like that. And it was enough for her to adopt that same ignorance is bliss policy too; or let Emily believe she did. Things weren't over until they were over. She still wanted to know. _

_And by the time she left, she did know. It just didn't happen the way she expected._

_It was an emotional day for both women. Emily was forced to relive her worst moments with Aaron and JJ was forced to finally let go of all that was building since the lockdown. She even swore Emily was going to break down when she mentioned the New Year's thing. Then again, she should've known her friend wouldn't let it show. It wasn't easy to crack her armor. She did see the raven haired beauty falter though, when she mentioned the gala, but that wasn't enough proof for her. But, she reminded herself, she wasn't looking for proof anymore. She had to accept it would come out in time._

_As they were leaving, jackets on and fresh pastry boxes in their hands, Emily stopped her. They were in the middle of the parking lot between their two cars when Emily just came to a stop. "It's not him JJ." She was quiet, almost somber, as she spoke. _

"_What?" She turned away from her door to face Emily, a smile on her face and a curiousness in her eyes that immediately fell away when she saw her friend. "What is it Em?"_

"_It's not him."_

"_What's not who?"_

"_Hotch. It's not him." She shook her head. How was JJ supposed to believe her when she could barely keep a game face on? "He's not… He's not her father…"_

"_Ok." JJ gave a nod, not believing the conversation was actually taking place; not believing those words left Emily's mouth. "Ok." There were no other words she could think of. She wasn't expecting Emily to just come out and answer the unasked question._

"_Ok, I've got to go. I promised to be home about fifteen minutes ago. So I should get going. Uh, I'll see you tomorrow. No cases until then." She plastered a false composure on her face that no one was buying._

"_Bye Em." With a final wave, Emily walked the ten feet to her car as JJ watched. The blonde got in her car, started it up, and drove away confused about what just happened. _

_That was her answer. She got it. The most convincing, well trained deception extraordinaire wavered. She was lied to. Her best friend lied to her. Getting her answer didn't feel all that great…_

"I didn't want to lie to her. I just didn't know what to do." She ended up just sitting in her car as she waited for JJ to drive away before she could officially break down. Lying to her like that felt wrong. It was wrong. She spent a good five or ten minutes crying it out before she freshened up her face, applied a little new make up, and headed home.

"Did you… Do you want to tell her?" He didn't know how he felt about that. Did he want JJ to know? Yes, he guessed he did. But shouldn't Charlie and Jack know first?

"Of course I do. She is my best friend and all I do is lie to her. First I didn't tell her about Charlie. Now I'm not telling her about you; not directly anyway. What kind of friend am I? All I do is lie and keep secrets."

"Don't do that." He leaned back into the couch with her. Facing her, he put a hand on her knee and squeezed. "Maybe the choices you've made haven't been the greatest. And lying to her isn't going to make you friend of the year. But you had the best of intentions. You are a great friend. JJ relies on you like you rely on her. You talk to each other and you support each other. You would selflessly sacrifice yourself for any one of us. And, while I wish you would stop doing that, it makes you the best friend anyone could ever want."

"Thank you Aaron." Emily said as she leaned into him, her head resting on his shoulder. "Thank you."

"You're welcome Emily. We'll figure this out."

"We will…" Her voice drifted as she fought to keep her eyes open, a yawn escaping her.

He put his arm around her. "Don't fight it. If you're tired, sleep."

"Ok…"

"It has been a long day." He thought aloud. "A good one though."

"Mmmhmm." She mumbled.

"I should get going."

"Stay." Her grip on him got a little tighter to keep him from shifting. She was just so comfortable.

"I don't think that's…"

"You've been drinking. It's late. Stay…"

"Are you sure?"

"Uh huh." Her eyes were getting heavy as she rested deeper into his body. She didn't even realize she was doing it, it felt so natural. And he didn't mind.

It was after midnight. She was right. It was late and they had been drinking. Driving wasn't a smart idea and he had his go bag in the car. It couldn't hurt. He was still planning to come over in the morning anyway. So why leave if he didn't have to? Why would he give up the chance to be there when his daughter woke up? For breakfast and to take her to school… They were they everyday things he was never a part of. There was no way he was saying no to that. "Sleep Emily." He told her as he drew circles on her back. But whatever he said to her was unheard as she was already out cold living in dreamland. It was a long day. "I'll be here when you wake up." He whispered. "Thank you." The reason for thanks wasn't clear. There was still a lot he could be angry for and a lot he could resent her for, but he was almost sure Emily had to do some defending on his behalf that day and he had the feeling that she did it for him; not because she had to, but because she wanted to. Maybe she even believed whatever she said. He would never know, but he believed in her and that was enough.

He tried shifting. He tried getting off the couch, but he really didn't try hard. She wasn't budging, and though taking her up to her room would've made for a better night's rest, he liked the comfort of having her there with him. And after a few futile attempts, if they could even be called attempts, to move her, he just settled in next to her and pulled a nearby blanket over them. Sleep came quickly. There was an ease in the air that made it comfortable even sitting up in a discomfited position with a second body practically attached to his. Oddly, except for when it was Charlie in place of Emily, the feeling of her against him felt like the most natural thing in the world.

It was a good day for him. He hoped to have many more. Until then, he was going to get some good, easy sleep.

"Mommy?" A voice called to her and woke her from her sleep.

Stretching as she sat up on the couch, she looked to the girl before her and said, "Yes baby." Emily couldn't get over how young her daughter looked. One minute Charlie was 5 going on 30 and there, there she looked no older than 3.

"Jack's being mean to me."

"How is he being mean?" What was Jack even doing there? How did he get there? What time was it?

"He won't play with me." Her voice sounded different; even more childlike than normal.

"Maybe he doesn't want to play what you're playing. That doesn't make him mean. Did you ask what he wanted to play?"

"No, I want to play dollies."

"Charlie just…"

"Charlie's with daddy mommy." The girl interrupted. "Why are you talking to her? She's not here." If she wasn't Charlie, then who was she? And daddy? Aaron?

"What?"

"You're being silly."

"I am?" Did she fall and hit her head? What was happening? Was it another coma dream?

"Uh huh. Can you play too now mommy? Are you done napping? You're a big girl like me. You don't need naps."

"I don't?"

"No. But daddy said we had to let you sleep."

"Why?"

"He said you were really tired and needed a nap like a baby."

"He said that?" Her little head bobbed with a toothy smile.

"Daddy says the baby makes you tired."

"What baby?"

"Mommy, why you being so silly?"

"Huh?" She was lost, living in a land where she knew nothing. Who was this girl? What was happening?

"Mommy…"

"… Mommy. Mommy. Mommy!"

"Hmm?" Emily's eyes snapped open. "What?" She looked around, moving wildly.

"Oww…" Hotch whined as Emily hit him in her attempt to sit up.

"Mommy! You said we couldn't have anymore sleepovers!" Emily and Hotch blinked their eyes and tried to find a focus through the haze. Neither were in their respective bedrooms. Where were they? "That's not fair mommy!" Charlie practically yelled, scolding them with her hands firmly on her lips and her father's scowl on her face. "You keep having sleepovers without me!"

"Charlie?" Was it really her? Where was that other girl? Was it a dream? She rubbed at her eyes. Sleepover? Was she in the living room? What was she touching that was so… so not her couch? "Oh." Hard body… "Aaron."

"Yeah mommy! Aaron's here! You had a sleepover without me! You said we couldn't do that!"

"I did?"

"Yes! And you had one. And your beepy thing is making noises."

"What is she talking about Emily?" She shook her head. It was the weirdest morning she had in a while.

"What beepy thing?"

"The one by your bed." She turned to Hotch and lazily waved. "Hi Aaron."

"Hi Sweetheart."

"Are you staying to play with me today? Like before?" There was excitement in her tired voice as she suppressed a yawn. It was too early for her.

"No." Emily answered for him. "You have school. That beeping thing is my alarm. Charlie, baby, it's only five. Why don't you try sleeping for a little longer?"

"Can I stay down here with you?"

Seeing the opportunity and the hopeful look on Aaron's face, Emily suggested an alternative. "Mommy has to get ready for work, but Aaron has a little time. He'll cuddle with you."

"Like we're having a sleepover too?"

"Yeah."

"Ok." Charlie muddled her way in between her parents, practically pushing Emily out of the way to take her spot and pull the blanket close. "I like sleepovers." She mumbled as she found a comfortable position.

"Me too." Aaron whispered and pulled her tight.

Emily tried to move, but Charlie's hand shot out and pulled her back. She wanted them both there. Neither was leaving until she was asleep. So they stayed. They all stayed there unmoving until Charlie, who was snuggled between them, fell into a light slumber. "Are you ok if I go shower and change? I won't be long. I know this isn't exactly what… Actually, I have no idea what you or I was expecting, but this wasn't it… Are you going to be ok?"

"Yes, go. I… We'll be more than ok."

"Good, I'll be back."

"Thank you Emily." He said quietly as she walked away.

"You're welcome." She responded with and of her head and the corners of her mouth turned up as she went to her room.

About twenty minutes later, Emily returned. She took the quickest shower she could. The thought of Hotch down there with Charlie while she was there, naked and wet… There were things in her head that shouldn't have been there. So she rushed. She dressed. She did up her face. And she returned to them.

"Here." Emily held out her hand and a glass.

"What's this?" He asked as he placed his hand under hers.

"For the headache." She dropped two white pills down into his hand and passed him the glass.

"How'd you know?"

"I'm feeling it too. Take it. It'll help."

"Thank you."

"You've been saying that a lot lately." She joined them on the couch as they had a hush-hush conversation with their daughter still between them.

"With good reason." He looked down to Charlie. Was there ever better reason for anything?

"Yeah, but no more. Just like I don't have to thank you for spending time with her, you don't thank me for letting you."

"Ok." He agreed.

"Ok. So, we have a little time before things start to get crazy around here. Let me switch places with you and you can go get changed. I'm sure you have a tooth brush, a change of clothes, and all the essentials in your car, but if you don't, there's a new toothbrush in the cabinet under the sink in my bathroom. I left out a clean towel and everything else you'd need if you want to take a shower." Was that weird? "I'd advise you do. No offense, but you kind of smell like a brewery. I may have spilled a little on you last night." Totally not on purpose. "Breakfast is at 6:30."

"Thanks Emily. That sounds great." He gently shifted Charlie, who was nearly cocooned into him, over to her mother.

"She's a cuddler this one." Emily explained.

"Yes she is." He liked it.

"Mommy?" The girl mumbled as the jostling woke her.

"It's ok Charlie Bear. I'm right here." That was enough to settle her and she burrowed into her mother.

As Hotch went to shower, Emily sat there and thought about her dream. What did it mean? Did she believe in that psychology? Dreams and whatnot… Were they were subconscious or nothing at all? Why was she dreaming about him at all? And was the dad in her dream really even him? It was too much for her to think about. Instead, she turned her attention elsewhere and tried not to conjure up too many images of Hotch and what exactly he was doing that moment.

Neither of the pair was having any luck with that. When he was downstairs and Emily was in the shower, he had Charlie to focus on. Watching her sleep was the best thing he could've done and it drew him away from even thinking about Emily in that shower. But there he was, in Emily's bathroom, completely nude, water cascading down, using her products, indulging in her smell, and thinking about her… He was thinking about the last time they showered together. He thought about how she was the only woman to ever get him to just lose all moral compass and all logic and just let loose. No one else ever did that for him. Would anyone else ever get the chance?

Yeah, he was really thinking way too much about things he didn't think he should've been thinking about. It was only exacerbating the headache he had. But he blamed the oddity of the atmosphere. When he stopped by that night he wasn't planning on spending it there. And he really wasn't planning on losing any clothes at any point. Yet, he did. He needed out of that shower before he had to turn it cold. That would just be highly inappropriate.

Drying himself off and changing into a fresh suit, Aaron made his way back to his girls. He didn't even give thinking those things a second thought. Looking at the two of them, he almost laughed. Emily was lying down, Charlie, literally on top of her. Charlie had her arms wrapped around Emily's middle and Emily hand hers cradling Charlie with the blanket swaddling them both in warmth as they slept soundlessly. He wasn't going to wake them; not yet. First, he'd make breakfast. It was his silent thank you for… everything. He had more than he ever dreamed to be thankful for.

At first it was weird to be going through her cabinets without the rouse of having Charlie there to be his reasoning or at least tell him where to find things, but he easily found his groove in the kitchen. Bowls, pans, plates; he found it all. He cut up some fresh fruit, prepared all that needed preparing, and set up a meal for three all the while keeping a close eye on the time.

Having everything ready and plated, he went to wake them. That was all that was left. When he entered the living room, Emily was awake, a sleepy grin on her face and her hand running through their daughter's hair. "You cooked." She said. "How domestic of you."

"I can be very domestic."

"I like it."

"I'm sorry if I woke you. I tried to be quiet." He apologized.

"You didn't." She assured him.

"She awake?"

"Yeah, just being lazy bones."

"No, you're lazy bones. Old lazybones." Charlie mumbled into her mother's body.

"And she's mean in the morning. You should learn that."

"Nuh uh. I'm nice all the time." She had yet to move. She was fine exactly where she was.

"Well, when you two are done with your banter, breakfast is ready. I made your favorite Charlie."

"You did?!" She bounded up with that, knocking the wind out of Emily when she pounced on her stomach. "French toast?"

"With strawberries."

"And whipped cream?"

He nodded. "Just for you."

"How did you know?"

He winked and said, "It's a secret."

"Mommy told you?"

"Smart girl." He held out a hand. "Come on, let's go eat."

"Ok. Mommy coming?"

"I'm right behind you." First, she just wanted to see them walk away hand in hand, talking about something she really wasn't listening to. They were father and daughter and soon, they'd both know it. She was doing her best to believe things would work out well. She wanted them too, but she knew how things in her life worked. It wasn't all think and it shall be. It was more do and hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. With JJ's questioning and the unknown still lurking, she knew things might not have been, nor ever be, perfect, but she was going to enjoy the moments that came close. That started with breakfast.

"Mommy! This is almost as good as yours!"

"Only almost as good?" He feigned distress. "I'm hurt."

"It's ok. You can come over and cook all the time. Mommy will let you. She needs breaks too. Right mommy? He can come?"

"We'll see kid." She moved closer. "Got any for me."

"Of course. Sit." Hotch answered. "Coffee?"

"There is a god!" Emily joked as she accepted the russet liquid she so yearned for.

With Charlie in the middle, the three sat at the island and ate their breakfast, Hotch keeping Charlie engaged asking questions that he thought of that he forgot to ask while watching her. Emily joined in occasionally, mostly just listening and enjoying the rapport they had going. It furthered her hope that things would continue the way they were.

"Charlie, go brush your teeth. We're running behind today. Make sure you grab your book too. It's your turn for book share."

"Oh, I forgot! Which one do I bring?"

"We talked about it Charlie. You picked the tea book."

"But can't I bring the rabbit one Aaron gave me?"

"I don't think so. That one doesn't leave the house and it definitely doesn't go into a greasy hand jungle full of little creatures who like to touch everything."

"What?"

"Take the tea book Charlie. And hurry. I'll get your backpack."

"Ok. Will Aaron still be here when I'm back?"

Emily looked to Aaron before answering. Receiving a nod she said, "Yes, but if you don't go, then you're walking to school all by yourself."

"No."

"Yes."

"Nope."

"Go Charlie."

"Alright." She huffed. "Don't go without me."

"We won't." Emily called back to her. "Thanks for making breakfast." Emily said to him once they were alone.

"It was nothing. Think of it as help you haven't been getting over the last few years." Back to that. Her eyes were drawn down, head hung low. "I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry."

"No, just forget it. It's a good morning. Let's just forget it before my headache comes back."

"Ok." He wasn't going to turn down the free pass. So, he wasn't going to press it. Instead, he helped her with the dishes.

Emily excused herself to both help Charlie finish getting ready and finish herself. She had a few files to pack up and a go bag that was supposed to be repacked last night but she was sidetracked. She hated running late, but her reasons for it weren't all that bad. But being behind was never a good feeling.

"Alright, let's go." Emily said as she made her way down stairs. Everyone and everything was accounted for. They hadn't really worked out the logistics. Hotch's car was there, but he wanted to go with them to drop Charlie off. "Can you handle leaving work at a normal hour?" She asked him.

"I think I can manage."

"Then come on. I pride myself on getting her to school on time."

"Can you both walk me in today?" Charlie asked once they arrived at the building.

"Yes." Aaron answered before Emily had the chance.

They all got out of the car and walked to where they needed to be. Charlie hugged them both goodbye before walking away. But she stopped and ran back to Emily. "Are we going to do this all the time? Is Aaron going to be coming more?"

Once again, Aaron stepped in. "You're going to be seeing me more Charlie. I promise. I've been really busy and I don't know how often I'll be taking you to school with your mom, but I promise we'll do more."

"Really?"

"Yes. Now get to class. We have to go to work."

"Bye Aaron." She said with one more hug. "Bye mommy!"

Silently, they went to the car. "You ready for this?" Emily asked as she buckled up. The question had many meanings. Was he ready for work? Was he ready to tell Charlie? Was he ready to be a father to her?

"I'm ready." He assured her. He was. He was ready for all of it.

The days passed very quickly. Before they knew it, it was Wednesday and time for Charlie's appointment with Dr. Lozano. Emily was in with her first and Sarah was dropping Charlie off right after school. Hotch was sitting in the chairs outside just waiting; reflecting.

Emily was right. Something was up with JJ. There was no direct misconduct or any wrongdoings of any sort, but there was something there. She kept giving him these looks. He didn't know what they meant or how to take them, but there were these moments where he'd catch her just staring at him like a mother watched her mischievous child when she knew he was about to do something wrong. She would look with this penetrating gaze like she was sizing him up. He didn't know why or what for, but it happened. He wasn't imagining that. She tried to be stealth, but he noticed. And she threw out these comments. They weren't any that others would pick up on, just little digs that he would understand. And she did the same to Emily.

Their relationship wasn't changed. They were still best friends, but JJ was wounded. She was lied to. But then, she thought, maybe she wasn't. Emily was a professional. She knew what a convincing lie she could tell. Hell, she was a pro at undercover work. So, if she really wanted to lie, wouldn't it have been convincing? Again, she questioned, was that her way of telling the truth without telling the truth? Or, was it her just lying badly? Or was it something else entirely? She didn't know. So she tried to figure it out. It was another thing to occupy her mind. It ended up with her observing more than she normally would; more than socially acceptable. She would sit at her desk and watch like a creep. She just wanted to see if things were different. And they were. She had to question if she knew the why or if it was, again, something she created in her mind.

She was trying not to let it affect anything. But it wasn't working out very well for her. She hadn't talked to Emily as much as she usually would. And she found herself analyzing things, over thinking Hotch's past decisions to take Emily with him or send her with someone else on the team when they had a case. She wanted to see if he felt differently about the brunette. She wanted to know if there were more than just natural directives to his choices. She was just going insane. She wanted to believe Emily. JJ really wanted to believe that it wasn't Hotch. That it was Milo Rothsworth all along. Believing that would be simpler. It would mean Emily didn't lie, that Hotch didn't turn away from accepting Charlie, that the BAU team wouldn't be in jeopardy if Strauss found out… There were a lot of implications if he was the father. But that wasn't what mattered. They would all work through those. It was the secrecy and not knowing that was causing the problems. And, as she snuck her glances, she couldn't help but think that some things were better left unquestioned. She wanted to know, she got an answer, and look where she ended up; going crazy.

But they chose not to see that. Emily was hoping that, though she knew JJ would remain suspicious or curious, she would do it without any disturbance. So far, she had that. Things were strained, but that was expected. The rest didn't matter. What mattered at that moment was that she still had her friend and the appointment they were about to go through hopefully helped Charlie cope better. Her own appointment went well. It was even better because it was cut short for Charlie. Thankfully…

Emily just left the room to see if Charlie was there yet when she saw Sarah leaving and Charlie in Hotch's arms giving him a big hug. "I saw you a lot lately." Charlie said as Emily made her way to them.

"Is that a good thing?"

"Very good."

He looked up to see Emily watching them. "I think mommy's ready for you."

"Mommy!"

"Hi Charlie Bear. How was school?"

"Good. We have a fun project to do."

"Awesome. You can tell me all about it when we get home. Right now, there's someone I want you to meet."

"That doctor lady?"

"Dr. Claire." Emily corrected. "She's just going to talk to you. Ok?" Charlie was hesitant when she brought it up that morning, but, she was doing what mommy asked.

"Will you be there?"

"I'll be in there for a few minutes, but she might want to talk to you alone."

"Ok."

"Let's go." Hotch sat back down as they went in. That was the plan. He cleared his schedule as best he could to be there with them. If it looked suspicious, he didn't care. It was where he was needed, so it was where he would be.

Inside, Emily introduced her doctor to her daughter and vice versa. There was no more saying that she didn't talk about Charlie because there she was, in the flesh. They started off simple. Emily was just there to help Charlie feel more comfortable and break the ice. Claire asked about school and interests, just things to get her talking before Emily excused herself and left them to do their thing.

"Thanks for coming." She said as she took the seat next to Hotch.

"I said I would be here."

"I know."

"So here I am."

"She was happy you were here too. I know she was nervous. I don't think she knew what to expect."

"That makes her normal." Hotch admitted. No one he ever met thought seeing a shrink was a good time.

"What do you think she's saying in there?"

"She's probably charming Claire just like she charms everyone else."

"Probably. She does do that."

"Most of the time, I don't even think she tries."

"Most of the time." Emily agreed.

They patiently, as patiently as possible, waited. The quiet was nice, simple, and not at all awkward. As the minutes passed by, eventually they spoke. They were finalizing plans for the weekend. They made a promise they intended to keep. So they set that up. And as they finished that, Charlie was walking out of the room with a smile they weren't anticipating.

"Mommy, she said you can go in there."

"Ok." They switched places. Charlie took her seat as Emily made her way in with a questioning look. What kid was happy after that? "How was she? Did I damage her irreparably?"

"Relax Emily, she's ok."

"She is?" Relief swam over her.

"She is. She's a good kid. She's just a little confused. That's normal. She told me she gets scared when you go away. The bad guys might get you again. I told her it was ok to feel that way."

"And it is." She interjected. "Of course it is."

"I think, in time, things will be normal again, but for a while, she's going to be a little more codependent with you. You're the only caregiver she really knows other than her nanny. She's just afraid of losing you."

"So what do I do about that?"

"You told me you read the books. I'm going to tell you to follow that advice. Take a little extra time to just be with her after a case. Try to keep her in her routine. Make things as ordinary as possible. Kids are resilient, and, if she's like you, she'll just brush this off sooner than later. Until then, she's coping very well. What she's feeling is completely normal. As long as you treat her the same and continue your life as if things are the unchanged. By that, I mean, don't let her get away with things you usually wouldn't. Punish her for things you would before. Treat her the same as before and she will be ok. Be a little lenient, but still follow the same rules. Do what you always did."

Emily took it all in before saying, "Ok."

They talked a bit more about the situation. They went over things to look out for, suggestions and tips to help Charlie see that things were better. They wanted Charlie to feel safe again, and they were confident they would be able to do that. "But, just in case you feel it's necessary, I wanted to give you this." Dr. Lozano pulled out a small white business card and a pamphlet.

"What's this?" asked Emily as she reached for the papers she was handed.

"That is a name of a highly recommended child psychologist and some pamphlets about coping mechanisms and trauma in children. I don't know how useful that'll be, but you read the books and we talked. I think she's doing really well. It's hard for her to understand right now. But, give it some time. If you feel you need to or she shows any of the signs we talked about, give him a call. He is a friend of mine and he would be the man to call if it appears Charlie needs it." With the most reassuring, very shrink tone, Claire said, "Relax a little. It'll all resolve itself."

"Great, thank you." She was more than grateful. The woman told her she didn't completely damage her kid. That was always a plus. There were a few kinks, but that was expected.

"So I think that's it for today."

"Actually," Emily started, "there's something I wanted to discuss with you."

"Alright, well, that is why we're here."

"I wanted to get your opinion on how to introduce Charlie to her father."

"You've said they've already met. Am I mistaken?"

"I want to introduce him… as her father, not just a friend."

"I see…"

Dr. Lozano gave her as much advice as she could on the topic. It really depended on the child and the situation. Basing it on what she did know, Claire gave her the best guidance she could. And Emily would accept just about anything. Her nerves were elevated to new heights. Telling Charlie was something she thought and knew would always happen, but having it be so real and so upcoming made her so anxious and scared. It was real. Before it was an idea but now it was tangible. It was happening. Soon, Charlie would have her father in the final way. She already had them, but they would officially have each other. And that terrified Emily. What if she liked him better or loved him more? What if she hated her for keeping it a secret? What if it didn't go well at all?

"She was really ok though?" Emily asked as she got up to leave. "The appointment went well?"

"She was fine. It was painless. She even told me a story and we bonded over a love of chocolate." Claire showed Emily the half eaten bowl of chocolate kisses on a nearby table. So that was why she was smiling. Give the girl some candy and her heart was stolen… Made sense. "She's a great kid. A better patient than you." She joked. "But so much like you described."

"She's a love."

"She is. Good luck with her. Call that number if you need to and let me know how things go. I'll see you at our next appointment."

"Thank you."

Leaving, Emily saw Hotch and Charlie huddled up in a secret meeting. Charlie was probably telling him one of her stories. Or maybe she was asking more questions about her father. She actually debated talking to her daughter about that. She didn't know if she should've continued on as if she didn't know or confront the issue. She went with the former. Charlie obviously didn't want her to know and at least she knew of the situation. Charlie was curious and smart. The questions were bound to come. She just wished her daughter felt she could go to her with them rather than rely on others for answers. But, that was more her own insecurities than an actual problem.

"Grab your bag Charlie Bear. Time to head home."

"Is Aaron coming?" She looked between the two adults who towered over her short frame.

"Sorry Charlie. I have to get back to work. I was just here to keep you company, but I have a meeting to get to." He explained. He would've joined them if he could've.

"Can't you go later?"

"No." He told her. "That's not how it works."

"Ok." She said dejectedly.

"Hey, don't look so sad. You'll see him this weekend."

"I will?!" She brightened.

"Yes, and Jack too." Hotch answered.

"Cool!"

"I thought so. Your shoe's untied Charlie. Tie it and then put your sweater back on while I talk to Aaron."

"Ok."

Hotch and Emily moved just a little distance away. "How did it go? What did she say?" Hotch began the questioning.

"She said everything's ok. We can discuss it more later, but she told me what to look out for and gave me a few tips. I also have the name of a child psychologist if we need it. So, I think we're good."

"Do you think she needs it?"

"Right now? No, but it's good to have just in case." Their eyes drifted toward Charlie. "She's going to be just fine."

"What about…" He leaned in a little closer after a quick scan of the room. "What about the other thing?"

"I asked her. I'll tell you what she said this weekend. I don't want to do that here. Maybe we can come up with some ideas? Brainstorm a little?"

"Sounds good." He was excited. It was possible he was jumping the gun. But the prospect of telling her, of having that information out there, it excited him.

"I um… I…"

"Mommy, are you ready?"

"I guess that's my cue to go. Thanks for coming. It means a lot and I know she's happy you were here too. You can… You can call tonight if you want to talk to her… or me. You know, about this… Bye Hotch."

Boyish, dimpled grin, he said, "Bye Emily. Bye Charlie."

"Bye Aaron!" The girl called back. "Mommy, can we go for ice cream?"

"Ice cream? Do you deserve an ice cream?"

"I was a very good girl."

"Well, in that case…" He listened to them as they walked away, thinking that one day soon, he'd be a part of that. It wouldn't be in the traditional sense, but he'd be a part and that was all he could hope for. So he smiled and he watched and he waited because he knew that would be him soon; going back and forth with Charlie about something she wanted, playing games, talking. He couldn't wait to do that with her not as Aaron, but as daddy. Knowing that was coming, hopefully, was enough to sustain him; anxiety and all.

The rest of the week was more of the same, but in the best way possible. Hotch did call that night after the appointment and they talked about, well, everything. Emily explained the gist of what Claire told her and he took everything it stride. They didn't go into too much detail or make any real plans about telling her just yet. It would take a little while and some long talks before they were at that point, but the open line of communication and the consistency they were building was actual progress. Maybe all those proverbial people were right. Communication was key. They were slowly learning. The type of communicating they needed to do wasn't something they were taught growing up so it was all very new to them. But, they were doing it as best they could.

And maybe that best was good enough because they were all meeting up for some family time. However, family time happened to be extended to non family, family time too. But it worked. The plan was simple. Emily and Charlie were meeting Hotch and Jack at the National Air and Space Museum. The kids, at least Charlie, were still probably a little too young to understand most of it. The whole concept of space and stars was a little abstract for their adolescent minds, but it promised to be a fun entertaining day anyway.

Emily and Charlie spent the early parts of the morning doing their usual. They woke up a little later, ate breakfast and did some work on her school project together before getting ready to meet their "friends." Hotch's day was a little different. Unlike them, he woke up early. At the crack of dawn, he took his bike and rode out to a bike trail to meet with Beth. Surprisingly, she was already at the park when he got there. They wasted no time, other than to exchange pleasantries, before hopping on their bikes and heading out.

Most of their conversation was neutral. They were still in that getting to know one another phase. But, he liked her and she liked him. They occasionally talked on the phone and they liked each other's company. It wasn't one of those love at first sight things. He didn't know if he could, or would ever love her quite like that, but she was good company thus far and he needed that. He needed something with no real strings, casual until they decided otherwise. It was uncomplicated when every other relationship he had was messy. It was a change. It was simple to just talk about the latest book they read without there being a subtext or a pressing need for a more important conversation. It was mindless and fun. It was everything he hadn't had in a while; someone so unconnected with the rest of his life, away from the drama.

Triathlon training was more fun with a partner too.

"So, do you have anything special planned with your kids today?"

"Yes actually." He said with a smile.

"Oh yeah? What are you guys doing?" They peddled faster, trying to make it up a hill.

"Well, after we finish and I shower, I'm going to pick up my son."

"Not your daughter?"

"No. Jack and I are going to get some new cleats and soccer gear."

"He plays soccer?"

"Yeah, I coach his team."

"Aww, so cute."

"He's a good player. I love coaching him, but he's growing so fast we have to buy new cleats every season. That's what we're doing before we meet up with his sister and her mother."

"Her mother?"

"Yes."

"As in… a different mother than he has?" She sounded surprised. And she was. He didn't seem the type to have children with different women. He seemed more responsible than that. But really, was there a type? She was just being judgmental. That was it.

"Yes… is that a problem?"

"No… No. it's just… I thought you were only married once."

"I was."

"To Haley?"

"Yes. We met in high school, got married a few years later, and we had Jack."

"So, where does the other woman fit in?" It didn't feel right talking about them. He didn't know why, but it didn't. She wasn't the right person to be having that conversation with. "What happened with her?" He felt a little uncomfortable. That part of his life was private to so many people. And as nice as it felt to introduce Charlie as his daughter to this woman, he wasn't ready to tell her all the intimate details of his life.

"It's a long story; a complicated one. We were involved and now we have a daughter." That was all she needed to know.

"So you're spending the day with her too?"

"We're taking the kids to Air and Space Museum. We thought it was fun and the kids don't get to see each other all that much."

"It sounds nice." But did another woman have to go too? It was too early in their relationship to be getting possessive. She had to let it go… "I uh… I would love to meet them one day… Your kids… You know… if we get there."

"Yeah." He answered hesitantly. "If we get there." The thought made him weary. Did he want to get there? Did he want to introduce his kids to another woman? Did he want to share them? "Hey, it's getting late. We should start heading back." He had time to think about things. With where they were, it was too soon to really consider.

"You're right, let's go." He peddled harder, turning the bike around. All he could think about was seeing his kids and Emily too. She was on his mind.

Biking back was easy. Most of it was downhill, but he was still a little sore after. It was nothing a hot shower and a fun day wouldn't help. They said their goodbyes; simple and friendly, then he headed home for that much needed shower. After a little while shopping with Jack, new soccer balls, cleats, and shin guards purchased, they were on their way to meet the other half of their foursome.

"Look mommy! Aaron and Jack are here!" Charlie called from the top of the steps as she saw the guys approaching.

"Dad, over there." Jack pointed toward them as he stood by his father's side.

Holding her hand tight and dragging Emily down the steps, Charlie raced over to them, excited for the day. Upon reaching them, Charlie immediately went in for hugs, which both eagerly returned. And Jack appeared just as happy to see them as they were him, greeting Emily much like Charlie did Hotch; hugs all around. "We should head in." Emily interrupted the kids' chattering. "The star show is going to start soon."

"After you." Hotch said as he motioned for Emily to lead the way.

The makeshift family wandered their way into the planetarium section just in time for the show to begin. Taking their seats, they watched the ordinary room darken and turn into the night's sky. "Look Jack, stars!" Charlie said with wonder. Jack, being the great kid he was, indulged her enthusiasm with equal happiness and a story he remembered his dad telling him about the North Star as the narrator told them all about the galaxy above. The adults, one on each end, shared a brief look of triumph and happiness. They kind of did it. Everyone was happy and it was more than just on the outside. They were really having a good time. And, while they still had their insecurities and issues, that moment, that day really, was worry free. It was just a family day.

Yes, Jack and Emily weren't related and Haley wasn't there. But that didn't create any problems. Haley and Emily talked a little. After Hotch told her that he told Haley, Emily thought it was only right that she called her to talk or chat or discuss, or whatever it was they did, everything. Haley wanted to talk to her too, so she was happy to get the call. Things between them weren't resolved and they didn't go into any in depth topics, but Haley made it clear that her ex husband had his faults and, as Emily knew, he made mistakes, but he was a good father. She wanted Emily to know that she supported that and wanted Jack to know his sister. Emily thanked her and was eternally grateful that that was as far as it went and that the woman was being so supportive about things. Haley wasn't being the bitch she could've been. They were acquaintances forced into a type of dysfunctional modern kinship because of their circumstance, but it was surprisingly refreshing. It was weird was what it was. But for them it worked. She was given the blessing she needed to be around Jack and help forge that bond between the siblings. So there they were doing just that.

The four sat and listened and learned together. They watched the projected stars and planets orbit around with fascination. The kids were enthralled by it; the adults too, but more enthralled by their children. Charlie would ask the occasional, "Is that really out there?" And Jack would always respond in similar ways saying something like, "There are lots of things out there. Isn't it cool?" It was all too cute. But it always was. They just wanted to soak it up.

"Did you have fun?" Emily asked them as the show finished.

"It was a lot of fun Emily." Jack answered first.

"What about you Charlie Bear? Did you have fun?"

"Uh huh. We should do it again. And Henry can come too! He would like it."

"He would?"

"Yeah. And JJ and Penelope and… and everyone. Will too if he wants."

"We'll have to see. That's a lot of people."

"Ok." She looked up and asked, "Did you have fun too Aaron?"

"I did. How about we see the Astronaut section next?"

"Can we mama?"

"Yes. Let's go. Hold my hand though and if you want to see something, ask. Don't run off."

"Kay."

"Same goes for you Jack. Stay close ok Buddy?"

"I will."

Hotch acted as a tour guide as he took them through the different exhibits, the little map in his hand. They each had a favorite thing to see. They each had something they found most interesting. They all had a different thing they would remember most about the day. But the one thing they all had in common was that each of them was happy they were with each other. They were together having a good time and, for the adults mostly, it cemented things. It made them feel like they could tell Charlie and Jack and everything would work out. They always hoped it would, but the more they interacted, the more they wanted it; the more they wanted it all to just be out in the open already and the more they wanted it to just be whole. And it would be one day soon… Maybe?

It would happen. They knew it would, but they wanted it right then and there. They just wanted to rip off the band aid and do it. But that wasn't right and they wanted it to be right. It was a patience thing and they had some talking to do, but it would get done. Until then, they were just living in and enjoying what was. And what it was, was pretty great.

A few more hours were spent perusing the museum before they headed to dinner. As if a tradition was forming, whether a conscious decision or not, they returned to the same restaurant they went to the last time. It was a homey place. It wasn't too fancy and it wasn't too snobby. It wasn't a crap shack either. It had a home away from home type vibe to it; where being there was like hanging out with family in the kitchen creating some of the best childhood memories. Of course, Emily didn't have many of those with her own parents, but she had some great ones with the nannies and kitchen staff she met over the years. It was the idea of it though, that made the restaurant so great. It was their place. It was perfect for them.

"Ice cream time?" Charlie asked as they finished their meals.

"Soon Charlie." She promised to take her out for a scoop or two. "What do you say, why don't you ask them if they'd like to join us?"

"Jack, do you want to come for ice cream?"

"I was thinking you ask Aaron Charlie."

"No, I ask Jack." She responded. "Then he asks his dad." Emily just laughed. Kid logic, though sometimes crazy, usually ended up making some sense.

"Can we?" Jack asked his father. Receiving the affirmative, the family paid the bill and headed out once more.

Small talking in the line for their ice cream, Hotch saw a familiar face heading their way. Before he could warn Emily, the person greeted them. "Hey guys, what are you doing here?"

"JJ?" Emily asked surprised.

"Hi Emily. Hotch how are you?"

"Hello JJ." He said.

"Hi Henry."

"Hi Emily."

"I didn't expect to see you here… together." JJ stated.

"Oh uh…" She was a little nervous. She couldn't help it. And Hotch could feel it emanating off of her.

"We ran into each other with the kids and we thought it'd be fun to let the kids spend the day together." He answered for her.

"Right… Right…" Was she buying it? Even she didn't know he wasn't being completely forthcoming, she was skeptical. "So they're here too."

"There." Emily pointed to a nearby table always in viewing distance.

"Henry!" Charlie all but yelled running from the table as soon as she spotted him.

"Hi Charlie. We're getting ice cream."

"Me and Jack are too. I want chocolate."

"I want strawberry."

"Vanilla's best. You can add anything to it and it's good." Jack added his superior ice cream knowledge.

"Even garbage?" Well, even the brilliant could be smartasses and Charlie was her mother's daughter.

"That's stupid."

"Hey, play nice." Emily told them. "Why don't you and Henry join us Jayje."

"Sure, we'd like that. Right Hen?"

"Awesome!" He cheered.

"Go save our table." Emily requested of the kids. They scampered off after that leaving the three adults alone.

"Been here long?" JJ broke the silence. She still wasn't sure how to deal with the possible deception. And she said possible because she was in denial that Emily would lie about that.

"No, not really." Things weren't like they usually were. Most of the rest of the wait was quiet except for a few words exchanged.

When they joined the kids at the table, ice creams being passed out, they were talking all about their day. "We got to see into outside space. Right Jack?"

"Outer space." He corrected her. "Like the stars and planets."

"Cool."

"And there were rocket ships and marshmallow men. What were they called?"

"Astronauts,"

"Right, those guys. They fly in space."

"I want to see that! That's not fair."

"Mommy said you can come next time. We'll have to ask your mommy. She can come too. Like a party."

"Can we go mom?" Henry asked as he reached to take his cup from JJ.

"Leave?"

"No, to the museum."

"What museum?"

"We took them to the Air and Space Museum."

"You did huh?" She eyed them suspiciously. "I bet that was fun."

"It was lots!" Charlie told her. "But I want Henry to come too."

"Can we go mom?"

"Maybe next time we can all go."

"All of us?"

"We'll try."

"Good, because I want to see the marshmallow men too."

"Marshmallow men?"

"Charlie said the space suits looked like a bunch of marshmallows. Therefore, the men inside them, the astronauts, were marshmallow men." Emily explained.

JJ nodded with a slight giggle as she began on her ice cream. The rest of the night was them playing with the kids, cleaning up after the drippy, melting frozen confection, and a bunch of ignored looks. JJ knew there was more to the story. And she so wanted to ask. She wanted to come right out and ask if, no why, Emily lied to her about Aaron. She wanted to know. And she deserved to know. But the denial bubble was so much easier. That didn't mean she didn't steal a glance every so often. And each time she did, it only added to her conclusion. There was something going on between her two friends. Whether it was the Charlie thing or something else entirely, there was definitely something there.

"This was fun, but little man and I have to get going." JJ stood from the table.

"Do we have to?" Henry whined.

"Say goodbye Henry."

"Bye." He said, though not happily. He was having fun talking about the museum and a new toy he got for getting a perfect grade on his spelling test.

The group said goodbye to their blonde friends and finished up themselves. "I think it's time for us to head out too. It's already eight; time to start getting ready for bed."

"I don't want to go. I want to stay with Jack."

"We'll see him again soon."

"Can't they sleep over? You had a sleepover."

"Charlie, not tonight. Jack needs some time with just his daddy. But maybe some other weekend. Ok?"

"Fine." She huffed, not at all pleased. It was such a good day and she didn't want it to end either. But Emily saw the yawn. Both children were wearing down. It was time to head home.

"You ready bud?"

"Ready dad."

Everyone safe and secured in the car, he followed them home and walked them to the door where he bid them a farewell and a see you later before heading to his apartment with Jack. Though he'd revel in the memories of the day and think about it, the rest of the weekend was strictly guy time. It was him and Jack, no interruptions and no deterrents, emergencies not included. But it was all over so quickly. Time just flew when they were having fun. Their father and son time was rapidly ending.

It was almost time to take Jack back to Haley's. Hotch hated how fast the little time they had together came and went. He wanted to spend every second he could just him and his son, but he also wanted to spend it with Charlie too; all of them together. It was a win-win situation when they were all together like they had been that Saturday, but he couldn't help but feel he was losing out just a little on the alone time with Jack. He didn't get to see his son often and losing any time with him always upset him. But, he realized, it was necessary and Jack didn't mind. He liked being with his friends and extended family. He was close to the BAU gang; all of their kids were because they were truly part of the family. All that aside, their time was once again coming to an end and there was something Hotch wanted to discuss with him.

Jack was a smart kid. He had the quiet wisdom of his father, the nurturing aspects of his mother, and all the good they both had to offer. He was every parent's dream; the kind of kid that invited the bully over for a play date rather than fight dirty. That didn't mean he couldn't be trouble from time to time, because he had his moments too, but he was, overall, a good kid. He was also a little beyond his years. Because of that, sometimes, his parents and adults forgot he was still just a kid. "Hey Jack, buddy. Can I talk to you?" Maybe this would turn out to be one of those moments.

"But I'm playing daddy. Can we talk later?"

"It's really important Jack. I think we need to have this talk now."

"Ok." He put the action figures he was playing with back into the toy chest. If dad wanted to talk, he'd listen.

"What is it dad? Are you sad? You look a little sad."

"I'm not sad, but there's something I want to tell you. There's something I want to ask you…"

"What?"

"Well, you like Charlie right?" He really should've thought it through. Winging it; probably not the best route to take.

"Yup."

"You like playing with her?"

"Uh huh."

"And you have fun with her?"

"Yeah."

He sucked in a deep breath and threw caution to the wind. "How would you feel about having a sister Jack?"

**I think I got a little carried away in this chapter. Oh well. Things that were supposed to happen, didn't, but I always say that and I was, overall, pleased with how it turned out. I'd love to hear what you thought. Next chapter… Well, something happens next chapter; something not small… But that's all I'll say… **

**Bear with the Beth stuff. I know none of us like her. All will be revealed in due time. Her place will be known. **

**The 250****th**** reviewer gets a one-shot. I liked doing it last time. Why not try it again? **

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**

**Guest**** Have a little faith in me. Everything I do has a reason, even Beth. I could've renamed the character, but the end result would be the same. I figured I'd stick with someone most people don't like so no one got too attached. Was the talk worthy? Did it make up for my disappointing you?**

**Emilyhotchnerforever**** I was nauseated writing Beth. And Em will find out eventually. But the JJ conversation was revealed. What did you think about it? Sorry I tricked you about the date. It had to happen. There's a reason. And I'm sorry about the real life thing you got going on. It sucks, but I believe I told you that already. **

**rmpcmfan**** The buildup does make it more fun! Now that you read it, what do you think? Was the wait worth it or did I completely crash and burn? Love the father daughter moments; have to add them whenever it fits. It's a compulsion. And I agree, Charlie is adorable. I think all the kids are. It's just a kid thing. They're all so cute. You just want to squish them and pinch their little cheeks. (Well, most of them… not always.) Enjoy the chapter. **

**inheritancedrottningu**** Grazie amico mio. (Thank you my friend) Hope the wait was worth it and enjoy the update. **

**Wiggle34**** Beth has a purpose. I will assure every one of that. And your thinking is on the right track. I've been vocal about my dislike for her. I'm not sadistic enough to add her for no reason. So she will be a catalyst of sorts. But first, she has to be the girlfriend. Barf…**

**criminalmindfan101**** No, thank you. I always appreciate kind words. And it never hurts to hear that others love reading this story as much as I do writing it. And I will continue to write for your viewing pleasure. This is another meaty chapter, so dive in and have fun reading. **

**Celina79**** Good to know you're still out there. But don't feel bad about the reviews. I don't expect them and I'm still surprised every time I get one, but it is nice to hear from the readers, so thank you for taking the time to write one. There will be some good Charlie and Hotch moments coming. I love those too. And believe me, most readers wish they could take on the role of unsub and send Beth to an early grave. There will be no m*******. I had to write it like that. Mentioning Hotch and that, that she devil and the m word in the same sentence is vile. There will be none of that. Well… we'll see how the story plays out. Anything can happen.**

**Cinnamonfa**** Really, I'm sorry. I tricked everyone with the date thing and no one is happy it turned out to be Beth. I'm not really happy with me for that. But it had to be done. Have a little faith. And I love NYC. He had reasons for the date and Emily will find out. Her reaction… maybe her walls will go up. I think it depends on how she finds out. I know how that is, but you all will have to wait and read. I love that everyone's so involved. It's awesome!**

**HPforever-after**** Oh, Emily's going to find out. It's when and how that determines everything. But trust that Beth is not a permanent character, and I will only write her in when what she does is relevant. I don't want her there anymore than any of you. **

**Jessica Easter**** Now. It's up now! Sorry for the wait, but enjoy it anyway. **

**Rugbygirrl**** Stomach it a little longer. Take some Pepto for the stomach when she makes appearances. Every single one of them has a purpose. Hotch doesn't strike me as a sex on the first date kind of guy. More is revealed in that than sentence than you would think. Dwell on that a little. Beth is… catalyst is a good word for her. **

**greengirl82**** Sorry about your computer. Happy you got a new one. I can' live without mine. I'm very attached to it. It felt natural to have Charlie ask him. She's not the closest with him yet, but she trusts him and knows she can ask him anything. So she wanted to know about her father and he was the man to ask. I love writing the Hotly family moments and I am definitely a Hotch/Prentiss shipper right along with you. Love them, obviously. Had to hint on the date thing… (mild spoiler) It will come into play. **

**MeGkAtHeRiNe**** I think that sentiment is on a lot of the readers' minds. There's consensus amongst us that Beth must die. I will warn you, I'm not going to kill her (not written anyway). And all those things you want for them, I want for them too. They're all possibilities. Just have to keep reading and taking this Hotly ride. **


	30. Team Building

_I do not own Criminal Minds, only the characters I have created in that world._

**So I am a horrible person. My sense of time is majorly skewed as of late and I left you guys high and dry for a long time. I'm sorry! I'm going to set reminders for next time so it'll be faster (something I should've done all along). But I promise, and I don't make promises I can't keep, that this one was worth the wait (and I never say that). I put a lot of time and effort into getting this one right and, though there are still a few kinks in it, I think it turned out alright. **

**Anyway, this chapter involves a case. Though I created a case of my own, profile and all, I decided to save it for another time. For the purpose of this chapter, I borrowed some actual Criminal Minds profiling and Unsub stuff from 7x15, A Thin Line instead. It's a little different, but some dialogue was borrowed and some events. It worked better that way anyway and the end result is the same. **

**Buckle up folks, you're in for another long one and a lot happens…**

Chapter 30: Team Building

He sucked in a deep breath and threw caution to the wind. "How would you feel about having a sister Jack?"

"Are you and mom having a baby?" Jack asked innocently as his father took a spot across from him on the floor.

"Well no…" For some reason, he didn't see that coming. He should have. He was just going to confuse the poor boy. But the thought that Jack would assume it was Haley… What a mess. "No, your mother and I are not."

"Are you getting back together?" It was a quick follow up question that Hotch really wasn't expecting either. Both he and Haley thought that topic was covered in full. But he couldn't blame the boy for asking. He was a child and he was bringing up complicated things. A long lost sibling wasn't exactly a simple shape puzzle for the eight year old mind.

"No Jack. We're not getting back together. We talked to you about this. We love you and we still love each other."

"But not like you're supposed to love someone you're married to?" He finished.

"Yes." Hotch answered. That was the only thing he could answer with much confidence. That part was the only thing he was sure of saying.

"I know." There was a hint of sadness to his tone; expecting, but still tugging at the heartstrings.

"Then why did you ask?"

"Because how else would I get a sister?"

"It was just a question." Hotch realized an eight year old wouldn't understand the situation and asking like he did wasn't the best way to do things. He just wanted to gage how he would react to Charlie. He wanted to understand what Jack could comprehend and how and if he would accept a sibling of any kind. What if he and… What if he got remarried one day and they had children?

"Why would you ask that question? If you and mommy aren't having a baby, then where would it come from? Would it have a different mommy?"

"I just wanted to know how you would feel about having a sibling." That seemed like as good a reason as any. "But your mother and I are not getting back together." He needed to make that clear.

"So it wouldn't have a mom?"

"Everybody has a mom Jack."

"Not Tobin. He has two dads." Yup, he didn't want to discuss that again. Explaining surrogacy wasn't something he wanted to do then.

"Still Jack, to make a baby there has to be a mom involved somehow."

"Then who would her mommy be?"

For the sake of that conversation… "It doesn't matter right now. I don't know."

"Ok." Hotch was thankful for short attention spans. Things were dropped quickly. "But, if you did have a baby, would it have to be a sister?" He looked to his father seriously, like he put a lot of time and effort into the question.

"You wouldn't want a sister?" That was a question he could handle.

"Well, I don't know. Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"Girls like girlie things. And I'm a boy. I like boy things."

"Charlie likes boy things too." He told his son. "You like her, don't you?"

"Uh huh. I like Charlie. But girls like dolls. Charlie likes dolls and I don't. Boys don't like girl things. Can I have a brother? Like Henry. We like the same things and he doesn't poop in his pants like a baby does." Hotch couldn't help but laugh. There was nothing more fascinating than a child's mind.

"That's true. He doesn't."

"Daddy?"

"Yes Jack?"

"How come you're asking me questions about a brother?"

"I'm not asking you questions about a brother."

He rolled his eyes. "Why though?" He wanted so badly to tell Jack the truth, to just let it all out there, and let the cards fall where they may.

"Well," he still wasn't sure how he wanted to approach things, "maybe one day you'll have a brother or sister." His original intentions for the conversation were suddenly unclear. It was a little bit spontaneous; maybe a little premeditated, but definitely in the moment. He thought about it often; about how he would tell Jack, how they would tell Charlie… All of it really. But thinking things and doing things; well, thoughts didn't always translate into reality and his thought process was really being questioned. What was the plan? Did he really expect to be like, "hey Jack, Charlie's your sister, isn't that great," and then imagine everything would be completely fine after that? No… That wouldn't have happened. He would've liked to have told his son and to have him be ok with it, but there were many factors to consider. His son had been an only child for eight years. Changing that could be hard and Jack wouldn't have been given that gestational grace period to get used to the idea. His sister was just a few years younger than him and a friend. Hotch didn't know if that would make things easier or harder. And he was positive there were better ways to handle it than just bringing it up before he shipped his son off to his mom's. But really, was there? He didn't exactly see a right way or an easy way; there were just ways. And Jack, being older, could be like the experimental guinea pig; no, that sounded terrible. Jack could be the stepping stone; that sounded better. If he reacted well, maybe Charlie would too. It felt naïve to be so hopeful when he knew the harsh realities of the world.

"You want more babies?" Jack asked, his brows furrowed and his face scrunched in a curious heap.

"I don't know Jack." Whether he did or not was no longer a choice, he realized. But he definitely wanted Charlie. "Don't you think it would be fun to have someone to play with and talk to and share things with?"

"That's why I have friends dad."

"But this person would love you and spend time with you and be there for you always; even when you're fighting you know they'll have your back."

"Like you and Uncle Sean?" The little Hotchner boy remembered stories his uncle told him about how Aaron always 'had his back' and helped him even when he was a pain. So Jack understood.

Speaking of uncle Sean, Hotch thought, his brother had been avoiding him since before New York and while things were civil during the trip, after, the ice that thawed seemed to firm again. "Exactly." Maybe they were making progress.

"So I'd have someone to play with all the time?"

"Sure." Maybe not all the time, but they'd work something out. That was a problem for a different day; a problem that had yet to be such. For now, Jack was starting to see the good in having a sibling and Hotch was holding on to that.

"You can have another Jack. Then there'd be two of me. That would be cool."

"There can only be one Jack Jack." Hotch stated and tousled his son's sandy mane. Though the conversation wasn't going where he anticipated and he wasn't going to tell his son about his sister right then, he was happy with where they were. It was a light moment and that was all he could really hope for.

"And that's me!"

"Yes. You're my Jack and no one and no thing can ever take your place."

"I know. Just like you're my dad and no one can ever be as awesome as you even if mom gets married again one day." Ah yes, he and Haley chose to be open and forthcoming with the possibilities of the future when they told their son about the divorce.

"_We're not going to be together anymore, but one day your mom might find someone else to love and marry them." He said. _

"_Or your dad will." Haley added making it seem like there was already someone waiting in line for him. "But even if that happens, whoever they are won't replace us."_

"_She's right Jack. No one can ever take our place, just like no one can take yours." He looked to Jack. "Do you understand?" The little boy gave them a sad nod. _

_Divorce sucked._

"Yes." It was at that moment, that Hotch decided it was enough for one day. Clearly, neither of them was ready yet. And though he was desperate for it all to come out, he was really starting to see some, not all, of Emily's reluctance. It wasn't as easy as it should've been. They were changing years of habits and truths. That wasn't an easy thing to do. "Alright bud," he stood, "why don't you put the toys away and get ready for dinner? We can play a few of the video games you like before we have to head back to your mother's." Jack nodded with a smile and gathered the remaining toys in his arms. Hotch watched for a moment before turning to leave.

"Dad?" Jack called out to him.

"Yeah buddy?"

"If I had to have a sister, I'd want her to be like Charlie. She's more fun than other girls and she isn't annoying all the time. I don't think she has cooties. Maybe sometimes, but not always."

"Good to know Jack."

"But I like it just you and me dad. And me and mom." Did things just get a little more complicated? Was there going to be some sibling rivalry when things came out? Was that a one step forward, two steps back thing, or were they just right back where they started?

"Finish up son. Then meet me downstairs."

That was the end of that conversation. Was it successful? Not really. He didn't get to the point where he could spill his guts. And, maybe, he decided, that was for the best. If he wanted to do that, he should've did that with an adult, not his son; his young child. Both of his kids deserved to know. He and Emily agreed on that, but he was being impatient. He could've talked to Haley. He could've gone to Emily again. He could've even talked with Dave; the old man could keep his mouth shut. It wouldn't surprise him if the Italian already knew something was amuck. But instead of going to any of those reasonable options, he jumped a few steps and went straight to his son. It wasn't his finest moment, but he wanted it all out there. He wanted to forge those familial bonds and bring everyone together. Rushing it, he understood, wasn't going to bring that dream closer.

In a way, he was glad he didn't spill the beans. His son's words were echoing in his ears. He liked things the way they were and Hotch couldn't have expected anything different. Jack was used to that. He just got over the last change; adjusted well to shuffling between two separate households, and there Hotch was about to add another game changing piece to the puzzle. So, at least for the rest of the night, he pushed it all aside, like he tended to do, and just enjoyed what could potentially be the last only child father-son time they would have before the truth came out. A dinner, and a few hours of PG video games and they were nothing but smiles. That was the way to finish their time together; not dropping a bomb and leaving Haley to figure it out. That wouldn't have been fair to her and she was already much more understanding than he ever thought she'd be.

"Ok buddy, I'll pick you up for soccer practice this week and I'll call you every night. Ok?"

"Ok dad." He knew the drill.

"I love you."

"Love you too." After a brief chat with Haley, Hotch took his leave, hoping that a case didn't call him away from his family commitment. Soccer time was all him and Jack. That was why he agreed to coach the team. Sure, there was an assistant coach that would be there if he couldn't, but he really didn't want to let his boy down.

Only time would tell what happened.

And time, for all of them, seemed to be moving rather quickly. It wasn't a bad thing. They were just busy. They were well into the month of April and they were busy. It wasn't all the bad kind of busy either. The kids were all occupied. Though still young, after a "long, hard" day at school, they did have homework. Then there was soccer and clubs, and for Charlie there was dance too. It was quite the schedule they kept. Between all that and play time too, there was a lot on their little plates. Things were a little bit more mundane for the adults. Well, mundane if chasing serial killers and working cases was ordinary. For them, it was, but it wasn't boring.

But a heavy work load wasn't the only thing in their lives. Morgan bought a new property to do whatever it was he did with them: flip it, sell it, live in it, socialize in it… Emily was never really clear on what became of his many real-estate endeavors. To each their own she guessed. Garcia and her Kevi-poo, as she called him during the girls' lunch time gab fest, were heating up, becoming a bit more serious. They weren't quite at marriage yet, Garcia made that clear, but they were inching there. Everyone was happy for her. It was about time she found someone worthy of her goddess abilities.

Rossi did what Rossi did. Outside of work no one could really be sure what that was. The occasional date, they suspected, was normal, maybe more often than they wanted to consider. He was a regular lothario after all. He probably wrote often, they speculated; he was an author. They imagined a lot of time was spent with his dog, out fishing, or cooking something up in the kitchen. And based on his video game skill, he spent a good amount of time camped out in front of the TV getting some practice in. But no one knew for sure. He was busy though; in his own right, he was.

Reid read, and since that took only minutes of his time at most, he read some more. He caught up on documentaries and watched Russian films. On occasion, he'd try his hands with the ladies. Morgan tried taking him out a time or two to no avail. The right girl was out there waiting for him. He just had to find her.

For JJ, much like for Emily and Hotch, it was about her kid. And she had Will too. But Henry had soccer practice to get to and they were balancing sometimes conflicting work schedules and late hours with family life and trying to keep their relationship solid. They had to have some grown up time to keep the spark alive. And, intentional or not, she was distancing herself from Emily. It wasn't a major distance. They saw each to her every day. They talked on the phone or via text at night, but they weren't the same. Emily lied and they both knew it; the brunette felt guilty and wanted to tell the truth while the blonde simply felt hurt and wanted to hear the honest facts from her friend. So there was that. She kept herself busy. She kept herself away.

There wasn't much together time outside of work for the group; not really any of them. At least, there wasn't for those last few weeks of April. Hotch's life was one giant balancing act. He had to make time for Jack and coaching. He worked more hours than most because of the travel. Being Unit Chief meant excess paperwork and more files to go through than he knew what to do with. And there was Charlie too. He was just getting to know her. He promised to be around more, and he wasn't going to break that. Plus, he needed to keep up with his training. Then there was Beth. He was dating, which was weird in itself.

Oddly enough, that made Emily's already hectic schedule crazier. Beyond thankful for Sarah's continued help, Emily managed to be the single parent. When they weren't away, she managed to make it home in time for homework and to get her off to dance on those days, soccer on the others. Then they'd have a late dinner and some mom and Charlie time. That was where Hotch usually came in.

He went on his dates, fairly often, usually early dinners because of their differing timetables and early starts. And it was nice. When they had the time, they'd do early morning runs together. After one dinner they had their first kiss. He was experiencing things. He was out there again. But still, something felt… missing. It wasn't Beth. She was great. It was him. When he was with her, he was with her. He enjoyed her company. He liked talking to her and being with her, but there was always something lingering in the back of his mind. What it was, he wasn't sure. But, maybe his subconscious did.

It seemed, after every early evening, he'd find himself headed to the same place. He would always end up on Emily's doorstep. She didn't mind. He usually came just in time to catch the tail end of whatever movie they were watching or to join in on story time. In fact, with the exception of three nights when they were both away on a case and one more where he was out late with Beth, he was there to help put Charlie to bed. He was part of the ritual.

He didn't know such a life existed. It was like, by some miracle, he was given more good than he thought he deserved. An ex wife whom he was amicable with, a son he adored and who adored him, a daughter whose wit and ability surprised him every day, a girlfriend that was, for the most part, understanding, and a women as forgiving and as full of heart as Emily… What more could he possible ask for?

Sure, all the pieces didn't always fit so nicely, but he didn't need that. He had it all. It was a mess, but it was a good one and it was his mess. There was time for his son. There was time for his life. Hotch got the chance to be with his daughter, to become closer to her. That was something they both enjoyed. And once the girl was asleep, he and Emily always spent some time just the two of them talking about everything and nothing at all. Things were looking up.

It was all good… until it wasn't.

The first week of May had barely begun. It was a Tuesday. They were all called into work early; asked to come in for an urgent case. A string of robbery homicides where whole families were being murdered were connected and after the last one, they didn't want to waste anymore time, so the BAU was called in. The Unsub was devolving. The last two murders took place less than a week apart. If the new pattern held true, another could happen at any time and since the plane ride would take a few hours, they needed to head out ASAP.

"Where are you going?" A tired voice called from the bed they shared that night.

Emily placed her bag down on the floor and, knees first, sat down on the bed. "I'm sorry I woke you up."

"Do you have to go somewhere?" Charlie asked as Emily pushed the wild mane from her daughter's face.

"Mommy has to go away to catch some bad guys." She explained.

"By yourself?"

"No, the whole team's going to. I'll be back as soon as I can."

"I know." That didn't mean she wasn't sad to see her go.

"Sarah's downstairs, but it's still early. So let her rest and you go back to bed. Ok?"

"Hug?"

"Of course." Emily would never say no to that. Wrapping her arms around Charlie, she gave her girl a big hug and a kiss to match before whispering, "I love you Charlie Bear. Go to sleep."

"Love you too mommy." Emily pulled the blanket back around her daughter before parting with a smile. Grabbing her bag, she headed for the door. One last look back and her hand went to the dimmer to darken the already dimmed room. "Mommy?"

"Yeah Charlie?"

"Can you turn the nightlight on?"

"Of course." Emily reached down to the socket and pushed in the little night light there specifically for Charlie before attempting to leave again.

"Mommy?"

"Charlie."

"Come home soon. Watch out for the bad guys."

"I'll try." She nodded. "Sleep well baby." Lights off, she stayed there for just a moment to hear the calm, even breathing begin to slow just a little and the soft snores to emanate. That was what she needed to be able to leave.

All the parents had their own version of that with their kids. JJ slipped into Henry's bedroom, kissed his little blonde head, whispered that she loved him, and left before she couldn't force herself to go. She was grateful he didn't wake up. He had a way of telling her he loved her and, unintentionally, making her feel incredibly guilty for leaving at the same time. And she would miss their mornings together even more if she stayed any longer. So, she left remembering it was her turn to drive him to school. They were going to stop at the diner and have, what Henry liked to call, a "momsy." Why it was called that, she wasn't sure and when she tried to ask, she never really got a clear answer, but their momsy would have to wait for another day. He'd be disappointed, she surmised, just like she was. But he'd understand.

Hotch hoped he could say the same for Jack. They, at the BAU, seemed to expect more from their kids than maybe they should. Understanding and patience, disappointment; all of that was par for the course for their children. And, while they didn't really expect it to be ok, they needed them, thus expected them, to deal with it. For the most part, they did. But every now and then it wasn't such a pleasant experience. So, Hotch hoped that when Haley was the one to get Jack from his after school club, he wouldn't be too upset. And he hoped when he called to explain that, while the short interlude of bliss and timeliness was amazing, work beckoned and he was called away, that the boy wouldn't take it too hard. Jack wasn't particularly fond of the assistant coach either, which was rare of the boy, but the man was a yeller. That was going to make it a little harder. But it was just one practice he would miss; hopefully just one and they already had their first games. All of the kids did. So, at least none of the parents would miss that.

They all, adults and children alike, made due. That was the life they led. There were cases to be solved and the parents helped with that and the children found a way to cope with that. But while they were away, they couldn't focus on that. Their minds had to be on the case. They had to help the victims without a voice; to help those that couldn't help themselves.

"San Bernardino California; two home invasions in less than a week only a block apart. Exact same MO; both houses were burgled, power and phone lines cut and they broke in through a back window." Garcia briefed the team.

"In each case the entire family was shot and killed?" Reid asked.

"Yes, that is right." Garcia said before showing them pictures of the two families.

"They took out the power and phones to isolate them." Rossi profiled. "Alarm systems wouldn't work and they can't call for help."

Insert Reid fact on modern alarm systems here. And add Garcia's knowledge of the families to inform him that, though modern systems have backup generators, one family was behind on payment and the other had an older model system. Then JJ asked, "An assailant was killed in each case?"

"Affirmative, but the sheriff hasn't IDed them yet."

"So both families were armed and fought back and shot one of their attackers." Emily confirmed.

"Was that a coincidence or a connection?" Morgan put that out there.

"What concerns me is the frequency of the kills." Stated Hotch.

"Only 4 days apart." JJ informed him.

"Alright," Hotch started as he gathered the files before him, "it's a long flight we better get going. Wheel's up in thirty."

The team continued gathering facts and started a preliminary profile during the flight. Garcia informed them that the dead assailants were identified. One had a sordid criminal past and the other was an honor roll student, but the two grew up about a mile apart. The first thought was that it was gang related. In the end, they concluded that something was just off. It wasn't the normal MO for the gang bangers and the crime scenes didn't give an accurate picture of how many assailants there actually were. They weren't lost, but they definitely didn't have the whole picture yet.

Things didn't get any easier being at the crime scene. It painted a particularly gruesome picture. Blood spatter was everywhere. The mother tried to shield her baby with her body. The ugliness of it all made everyone a little uncomfortable. As terrible as it was to be there, it was also a necessary evil. Being there gave them new information. It allowed them to see the full picture and they learned quite a bit.

Something was amiss. An accurate reconstruction of the crime was impossible. It was just… It was just too messy. But they did know the story they thought to be true, wasn't. The people they thought to be the assailants weren't. They were simply the scapegoats; the patsies. The purpose, they concluded, wasn't robbery at all. There was something worse at play there. It was a message. The crime scenes were staged for the Unsub to convince people to believe that young black gang members were terrorizing the neighborhood. They were hate crimes meant to raise fear and tension.

While they were in California, another murder occurred; another family. This time it was an undocumented immigrant day laborer who was meant to take the fall. The profile called for a white male in his early twenties to thirties. He was believed to be a possible ex con or related to one, a religious zealot, and maybe a member of a white supremacy group like the Aryan Nation. He was determined disciplined but weak minded, vulnerable, but dedicated and driven. Because of that, they determined, he would not likely surrender willingly. In other words, he was dangerous; something that would be proven true.

Meeting with the puppeteer was a real treat. Seeing the man behind the rhetoric was sickening; the way he just look at Morgan and thought he was a lesser human simply because of the color of his skin was disgusting, but they didn't let it affect them. He was still the source. They needed him for answers and there was no way they were going to let their attitudes pave the way for bigoted Clark Preston to get away with whatever part he played in the murders, and they all just knew he had a role in it all; they just weren't sure how he fit in.

Two big breaks in the case came after yet another crime was committed. While checking out the crime scene, they found a boy shot and killed and stuffed in a closet. It was different from the other scenes. The staging had significance which they'd learn later. The other break came from one of the Unsub's fall guys, another immigrant named Ramon Gomez, who managed to escape. He found his way into the hands of the BAU and Emily was able to speak to him in his native tongue. She took him through a cognitive interview; asked him what happened, what he remembered, and things along that line. The information they got from him proved invaluable. It led them to their first tangible Preston connection. Digging deeper into his campaign staff and contributors took them one step closer. Garcia gave them the name Pamela Mills, whose son, Trevor, was the owner of a vehicle that matched the description that Gomez gave them. They had their believed Unsub. Up next was catching him. So they split up; JJ, Morgan, and Prentiss to his work site and the rest of them to his home.

On their way to their designated locations, new information was given to them. It turned out that the Mills family fell victim to a home invasion years prior. When the Unsub was younger, his father and sister were killed by the two assailants, and his mother was so brutally raped and beaten that she suffered brain damage. He hid in the closet during the attack, much like the placement of the body in his latest scene, and called the police once it was over. Clark Preston swooped in after that, paid the families bills, and took over for them financially. He was essentially, their savior. Their profiling skills and experience led them to the logical conclusion that Trevor Mills looked up to Clark Preston as an idol. Preston was the mastermind behind the attacks to create an uproar and further his mayoral campaign support.

Unfortunately, he was at neither of the sites they were sent to. The loss of control and rapid devolvement made Trevor unstable. Reid even found a goodbye letter written by him; a suicide note for his final mission. He was after a high profile target somehow connected to the election and he was going after his prey as they searched in all the wrong places. Thank goodness for Garcia's fast fingers. The boys, minus Morgan, went to secure the current mayor while the rest of the team headed to a separate destination; Councilwoman Ross' home.

"Alright, you two go around back. I'll draw his fire while you flank him." Morgan offered the plan as they stood outside the Ross house.

"You sure you want to split up?" Emily questioned. It wasn't that she didn't trust Morgan to make the calls, she did. Maybe it was just a bad feeling; call it instinct, but there was something nagging at her.

"We got to cover the back and the front in case he runs. Let's go." They all grabbed for their guns and headed into position.

JJ and Emily made their way around the back through the patio doors. As soon as they entered, they saw the Unsub. "FBI." Emily announced, but she barely got the last letter out before the hit came. A shot was fired and the burning sensation flooded through her arm as the force pushed her back.

"You're hit." JJ stated worriedly.

"I'm good. Go. Go." She insisted. JJ listened. As much as she wanted to stay and make sure it wasn't one of those Prentiss understatement moments, JJ knew there was a job to do. Hilary Ross was being chased by an armed and dangerous man. She was an agent; saving Hilary was the priority.

Emily stayed where she was, her right hand tightly wrapped around her left upper arm to apply pressure. It was a flesh wound, she was sure. And it hurt like hell, but she had been through worse. Until everything was taken care of, it was best for her to just stay put and hold her ground as she tended to her wound. From where she sat, she could hear the yells and the gun fire. The local police showed up to aid in the situation, but by then, the battle was already won. The Unsub was dead and the councilwoman saved.

Morgan and JJ raced to Emily's side as soon as the threat was neutralized. Hilary Ross was escorted out of her house for statements and whatnot by a local LEO as the friends tended to Emily. "I got you." Morgan said as his hand replaced hers to apply pressure. He and JJ helped her up and guided her toward the ambulance that was waiting. She was fine. They were just fussing, but she allowed her teammates to help her. She could see they needed it. Morgan couldn't seem to look her in the eyes and when he did, they didn't tell a pretty story. And JJ, who had been somewhat distant toward her, was nearly attached to her from that moment until they made it to the hospital. She would've been glued to her even as they boarded the plane that night if someone hadn't taken over. It was all so much and, though she didn't want them to, she knew they worried. She worried them. And she had just given them more reason for it. She didn't want to give them any more. So, much to her protest, they forced her to ride in with the ambulance to the hospital.

Her entire team waited for her as the doctor examined her and Rossi examined the team. They were fractured. They thought they were healed, but they weren't. Derek carried a world of undeserved guilt on his shoulders. Hotch looked like a piece of him broke again. Reid was trying his best to be calm but anyone could see it was an act. He knew the facts and rationally, he knew she would be fine, but it was Emily. Emily was hurt again and Reid's emotions weren't rational; no one's were. All anyone really saw was that there friend was hurt and in the hospital again. It could've happened to any one of them on any case, but this, pretty minor considering, injury was enough to pull them apart at the seams.

They patched up their wounds, but they were opened again. They were so nervous and so protective of her because of what happened and the moment it all seemed to be completely back to normal again, something happens and now they were unraveling. Sure, it was concealed and most people wouldn't notice, but Rossi could see it in all their eyes. The bad memories were resurfaced. The two situations were vastly different, but it felt all the same. The waiting and horror of not knowing and the pain of possibly losing her just hit them all over again like being t-boned by a Mack truck. It was back. They weren't going to lose her, not then and not because of an immediately treated graze, but that didn't seem to settle them.

They needed closure. Maybe they thought they had it, but if they did, they needed it again. Rossi wouldn't say anything yet. He'd see how the next few days went, but he was thinking more and more that the weekend getaway for the team at his house seemed like a better idea the more he saw. They needed to be united and strong to fight the monsters they saw. It was possible he was wrong, but he was almost positive he wasn't. Still, he was going to wait and observe before he brought it up again.

Hotch walked up to the group after speaking with a nurse to update them. "They finished stitching her up. She's all good. It's going to be a little while for the discharge papers, but she's fine. Why don't you all head back to the hotel grab your bags and we'll all meet at the jet in an hour?" Hotch suggested.

"What about you?" JJ asked.

"I figured I'd stay with her." He wanted to stay with her even though JJ was really the one who should've.

"Ok." The blonde agreed. As much as she wanted to see her friend and to be there, at that moment, it was a task she didn't want. Her friend lied to her and she understood on some level, but she was still feeling it and then she got hurt and it temporarily went away… But if Hotch was offering her a way to let her emotions settle a little, she was ok with that. "I'll grab her bag too."

"Great, thanks JJ."

"Don't worry Aaron; I'll get yours for you." They all stood, ready to leave. "Take care of our girl." Rossi added with a tap on the younger man's shoulder.

Morgan remained there for a moment, even as the rest of the gang left. He spent a majority of the time there on the phone with Garcia assuring her that Emily was going to be just fine, but he wasn't sure he believed it. To him, it was entirely his fault. She was there because of him and it wasn't anywhere near ok. In his book, he failed her once again.

"You ok Morgan?"

Hotch didn't expect anything other than the answer he received. "Fine Hotch. See you on the jet." The dark skinned man needed to rework his poker face. It was amazing how easy one's eyes could betray them. He had to let it go. The other man's issues were something he couldn't sort out for him. Hotch just hoped it wouldn't get in the way of all they've overcome.

Morgan walked away thinking of what he could possibly say to Emily when he saw her. Would she blame him like he did himself? Would she not want to talk to him at all? He didn't know, but he hoped he thought of something brilliant before he saw her on the plane.

Meanwhile, as Hotch made his way to Emily, she was in the room on the phone. "Is she sleeping?"

"She has been waiting up for your call. She fell asleep for about ten minutes but woke up asking if you called yet."

"That sounds like my stubborn little Charlie. I usually call by now. It's late there." There was a three hour time difference. It was nearly eleven there. "I wish she stayed asleep."

"Is everything ok?"

"Yes." She answered a bit too quickly. "Well, no, but I'm fine."

"What happened?" Sarah asked quietly as she moved away from Charlie who was pulling at her shirt asking if that was her mother on the phone.

"There was an incident…"

"An incident?"

"I was kind of, sort of, shot."

"You were what?!"

"Really, it's nothing. I'm fine. It was just a graze really. I'm all fixed up and we should be headed home soon."

"So you're ok?"

"I'm fine. I just wanted you to know."

"Do you want me to…?"

"No." Emily answered before she could finish. "I'll do that when I get home. I want her to sleep tonight and if she knows I got hurt she'll panic. I don't want that."

"Ok." Sarah agreed. "She has been impatiently waiting. Let me go give her the phone so she can finally get to sleep."

Hearing Charlie's voice was like an instant weight being lifted. "Hi mommy. You're late."

"I know baby. I'm so sorry."

"It's ok." She yawned. "Just don't do it again."

"I won't Charlie Bear. I'll try really hard not to." It came out rough and sad. And it was. She knew that the progress they made would be hindered by this setback.

"Mommy?"

"Yeah?"

"Did the bad guys keep you from calling?"

"Yeah."

"Did you get 'em?"

"We did."

"Does that mean you're coming home?"

"Hopefully I'll be home by the time you wake up in the morning?"

"Really?!" The excitement in her voice was magical. It had healing powers of its own.

"Yes, really sleepy head. So go to sleep and mommy will see you in the morning."

"Ok mommy. I love you."

"Love you too. Lots of kisses ok."

"And lots of hugs."

"Night Charlie. Sleep tight."

"Don't let the bed bugs bite."

Emily held the phone to her ear long after the call had ended. She wanted to be home with her little girl so badly, but she was also dreading it. "Who was that?" He startled her.

Her doe eyes looking to him as she put the phone away, she answered. "Your daughter."

"She's not sleeping?" It wasn't a reprimand, he was just curious.

"Wouldn't stay in bed until I called. I promised I would."

"I see."

"Yeah…"

"Charlie's not going to be happy with this." Hotch said matter of fact-ly as he stared at her sitting on the hospital bed, one leg hanging over the side.

Sighing, Emily replied, "I know." And she did. Charlie was just starting to realize that she wasn't going to be broken all of the time from the bad guys and she was about to show up with a new hole in her body with a set of stitches and her arm in a sling. The sling, though, wasn't going to last long. It was off first chance she got. "Want to come home with me tonight?" Her face crinkled as she realized what that must've sounded like. Did it come out as dirty as she thought it did? Was the innuendo only in her mind? "I mean, come with me… to see Charlie. She might take it better if you're there with me."

"Of course." He smiled. "I can take care of you."

"I don't need to be taken care of."

"No, you don't. But I want to do it."

"Ok." She conceded, maybe a little too easily. Just once, maybe she wanted to be taken care of… by him…

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Get me home?"

"I think I can manage that." He held out a hand for her. "Your jet awaits."

"My jet?" She joked. "My, my Mr. Hotchner, you sure do know how to treat a lady."

"Yes… I do." He put a hand on her back and used the other to hold the door open. "After you."

The jet took off less than an hour later. The group was scattered on the plane. After getting Emily situated, Hotch moved to one of his more regular seats and started on the case work. Rossi helped him out a bit. Reid was halfway to sleepy town, listening to Beethoven through his ear buds. And JJ, after telling Emily she grabbed her things and that she was happy to see that her friend was ok, took a row of seats and hit the hay. It was a long case. Rest was warranted for all of them, but that didn't mean it was possible for all of them.

Morgan hesitantly took a seat across from her as he placed a cup of tea on the table that rested between them. All she did was look to him and wait. She had been waiting for him to approach her for the first 45 minutes of the flight. He kept looking over to her and then turning away, so she knew it was coming. She just waited for it. "How you doing?"

"I'm alright." She answered honestly.

"Emily… I…" He stuttered. "I'm so sorry."

"It's ok Morgan." It was ok. Everything was fine. Yes, she knew Charlie wasn't going to be happy when mommy came home with a boo-boo again, but she had faith she could comfort her and get her through that. She didn't know if she could get him through though. "I'm ok. It's nothing." She threw him a smile before teasing him. "You're just mad at yourself because you think your words came back to bite you in the ass." Making her Morgan voice, she mimicked, "Out in the field, sorry doesn't bring people back." She remembered the hard-ass he was during the training sessions. She remembered the way he blew up at one of the other trainees in the exercise. _"Your job was to watch their back, and when you don't do your job, people die." Morgan said to the new agent. _

"_I said I was sorry alright…" The agent said under his breath._

"_I heard you." Morgan snapped. "But out in the field, sorry," he emphasized, "doesn't bring people back." He said. _

"No, I'm mad because I have your blood on my hands… again." He said sorrowfully, barely keeping eye contact with his wounded comrade.

"Don't worry, I'm not diseased." She attempted the humor, but his face just continued to fall. "I'm ok Derek. This wasn't your fault."

"Actually it is…"

She wouldn't let him blame himself. "You're a team leader. You made a tactical decision…"

"And you got hurt… again." It was the way he said that that made Emily truly feel his guilt. It didn't need to be voiced to be felt.

"You did what you thought was right and that's all you can do." She didn't want him to carry the weight. He would've felt angry with himself no matter who got hurt, but because it was her, because it was her after everything they just went through, it seemed so much worse. "The rest of it… That's not up to us. That's the job."

He took in her words as he leaned back in his seat, eyes looking out the cabin window. "You know Prentiss…This is twice now… Twice I could've protected you. Two times I had your blood on my hands when I could've done something to prevent it."

"You did what you had to do Derek. You couldn't have seen this coming."

"It's my job to see this coming."

"No, it's not. It's your job to read a situation and determine the best course of action. Sometimes, it doesn't work out the way we want it. But we got the guy and I'm ok. So it's a win Derek."

"It doesn't feel like a win to me."

"But it is. Yes, I got hurt, but that happens sometimes. And everything with Doyle," the name garnered his full attention, "there wasn't anything you could've done about that either."

"How do you know?"

"I know. There wasn't anything you could've done differently. You helped me and now I'm fine. Stop blaming yourself." He said nothing, just watched her as she leaned forward and reached for the cup. "Thanks for the tea." She said, effectively ending their conversation.

The plane ride felt longer than it should've, but that was most likely because Emily couldn't seem to fall asleep. She didn't know why, she just couldn't. She was anticipating Charlie's reaction. That could've been part of the reason. The little girl seemed to be doing better. The session with Claire appeared to have helped and it made Emily more aware of what to look for and know when to and not to be concerned. But that didn't make the anticipation any easier. Charlie could be fine or she could be traumatized all over. The extent of her injury was nowhere near as bad as before, but her little girl wouldn't be able to grasp that. She was always worried and she just kept giving Charlie more reason to be scared. That wasn't fair for her. Emily believed she was strong enough to get her girl through and she had Hotch and a whole team full of support to help. That had to be enough. They didn't really have another way.

The other reason she couldn't sleep was Hotch. He agreed to go home with her. They had been spending a lot of time together. That wasn't unexpected. He wanted to get to know his daughter and she wanted that too. But it felt like more. He didn't have to stay those extra few hours after bedtime. He didn't have to join her for the occasional glass of wine or late night snack fest. But he did. It felt like he came for Charlie, but he stayed for her. She convinced herself it wasn't that. It couldn't be that, even if she was finally willing to accept that maybe she wanted that, because it just couldn't happen. That wasn't to say she didn't wish it could.

See, there were so many reasons she couldn't sleep and just as her thoughts ran her ragged and exhaustion threw her a bone, they were preparing to land. They touched ground not much later than 5 in the morning, most of them semi rested and all ready to head home. Bags in the SUV, they drove from the airstrip back to the BAU to get to their own vehicles. "Need a ride Princess? You shouldn't be driving with that arm."

"Thanks Derek, but I'm ok." She had a ride. "But Garcia left me a message saying she would be waiting here to personally inspect me and judge for herself whether or not to beat me up."

"Sounds nice." He joked.

"Yeah, but, when I tried to call her earlier, there was no answer. You should probably head in and take her home. Sleeping at her desk probably wouldn't make for a great night."

"Alright Prentiss. Get home safe."

"I will Derek. Tell her I'll call her tomorrow."

"Sure thing."

After saying goodbye to her other coworkers and dodging her friends' offers for rides, though explaining why she accepted a ride from someone else to someone who lives just down the street from her could've been awkward, she met up with Hotch by his car. "Ready?" He asked. She nodded. "Good. I put your bags in the trunk. Let's get you home." He, very gentleman like, opened the car door for her and escorted her in. They were the last to leave, except for Derek who disappeared inside the building.

The house was quiet and dark when they arrived. The only light was the flickering of the TV in the living room and the one at the entrance to welcome them home. Emily directed Hotch to just leave her bag on the floor in the foyer as they made their way quietly into the house. "Emily?" A female voice called. "You home?"

"Hi Sarah. You remember Aaron right?"

"Yes, hello Aaron."

"Good morning Sarah."

"Oh, uh…" For some unknown reason she felt the need to explain her boss' presence. "Aaron was kind enough to drive me home. Doc said no driving with the meds in my system."

"Right." Sarah said. "So, a sling huh?"

"Unfortunately." Emily quipped.

"I don't see it staying on long." Hotch added earning a glare from Emily. He knew her.

"Anyway, what are you doing up? I hope it's not on my account."

"No, it's not. I knew you were coming home and figured that, if it's alright with you, I'd head out now so I can make it in time to take Jill to her Girl Scout camp out."

"Sure, yes. Go. Have fun. And thank you for everything."

"You're welcome Em. Charlie's sleeping. I managed to keep her in her own bed. I figured you'd be tired when you got home and would need your rest. Plus, I didn't know how bad your injury was and sometimes she's a kicker." She joked. "Some of her homework is done. But she wouldn't do the rest. She said, 'Mommy does homework with me. We have to save some for her so her brain doesn't turn to mush.'" That earned a laugh. "What else?" Sarah asked herself. "There's a plate of fresh cookies on the table if you need something to nibble on and I left a permission slip that needs your signature on your desk."

"Thanks again Sarah. Now go. Make it to Jill in time and have fun."

"Great. It was nice seeing you again Aaron. Heal fast Em."

"Drive safely."

Sarah quickly grabbed her things and headed out. Emily was grateful to have such a caring friend look after her daughter when work called her away and never minded spending time with her, but she was glad that Sarah left. That meant it was just the two of them until Charlie woke up. And it would've been a good time to have one of their chats or whatever if she wasn't two seconds from falling asleep the moment her butt hit the couch cushion. "Help me up." Emily mumbled to Hotch who stood above her, watching her in an amused fashion.

"And where are we going?"

"We're going to kiss our girl goodnight and then sleep. We are going to sleep for a very long time."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"I like the sound of that."

"Knew you would."

The pair quietly made their way toward the bedrooms. Hotch walked behind her practically propping her up from time to time. Somehow, they managed to sneak into their daughter's room without waking her long enough to each give her a kiss. Emily lingered a bit longer to make sure everything was in place. She placed Jazz a little closer to Charlie. She knew the little hand would reach for it at some point and if the monkey wasn't near, there'd be no rest. Once that was done, she made sure the blanket was still wrapped around and told Charlie one last time how much she loved her.

"I love seeing you with her."

Emily smiled. "I like seeing her with you too."

"We're doing good."

"Mmhmm, we are." Emily leaned heavily against the wall. She knew she shouldn't have taken that last pain killer. The doctor said to use as needed and she didn't essentially need it, but the fact that she couldn't sleep on the plane and her thoughts kept racing made her irritated and that aggravated her injury. So as they hopped into the cars, she took one in hopes it'd relax her by the time she got home. It did its job, but it also made her very drowsy.

"Come on." Hotch said with finality as he moved her off the wall. "It's time for bed."

"But I'm not tired." She complained, lying without realizing she was. How strong was that pill? She never did have great reactions to them. Add that to the sleep deprivation delirium she had going on and she was a bit of a mess.

"Yes you are. Come on." He escorted her into her room and sat her on the bed. "Pajamas?"

"There." She pointed to a drawer.

"These fine?" He grabbed whichever touched his hand first.

"Fine." She answered.

"Are you going to help?"

"You never had a problem undressing me before." Drugs tended to make her a little flirty. Maybe that was why she rarely took them even when she needed them. That might also be why she reacted so strongly to them; no tolerance at all.

"Ok." He sighed. "I'm going to take that as a no."

He brought the clothes over to the bed and attempted to free her from the sling. "I got it." She pushed him away. "I can do it." The sling was easy to get off; the shirt, however, not so much. Her arm, she realized, was sorer than she thought it'd be and pulling the shirt over her head was not an easy task. So, she stopped midway and dropped her pants first.

Hotch just watched the show. If he wasn't aware of her slightly less than sober state mixed with all the fatigue they were both feeling, he would've been aroused. A gorgeous woman practically stripping for him; he was a male after all. "Emily?"

She didn't answer. Instead, she sat back down on the bed in her underwear as she once again tried to pull her shirt off. She made it halfway, her good arm out of the hole, before declaring, "Done!"

"You are not done." He insisted with a cheeky grin. This woman was half naked and exposed to him and, as much as he loved the view, he knew she wouldn't appreciate him gawking at her. "Ready?" He asked before receiving a nod and pulling the shirt the rest of the way off. "See, all you had to do was ask for help. Is that really so hard?"

"When was the last time you asked for help?" She countered.

"Just the other day I asked Morgan to take some of my paperwork."

"That doesn't count." She answered seriously, though he didn't know if her current attire of navy blue bra and matching underwear was making him take her more or less seriously. He tried not to look too much. He was respectful; just a nice look at her butt…

"You can't look at me like that when you're stoned. Did you really only take that one pill in the car?"

"I'm not high Hotch. I'm just too tired to really care."

"And you still couldn't ask for help." He stated with a gentle smirk.

"Nope. Then you'd think I was broken. Enough people think that already." She said as she laid her head deeper into the pillows as he helped her lie down.

"You're not broken Emily."

"I'm not." She agreed.

"But you are half naked."

"Don't look so shy about it. We've all been naked before. We've even been naked together. Need proof? Check the other room."

"Are you sure you're not stoned?"

"I'm just tired Hotch. I'm tired and I'm scared and I don't want to be scared anymore." Amen to that.

Without hesitation, he laid back on the pillows beside her, taking up the unused left side of the bed. "You don't have to be scared. I'm here."

"You're here." She mumbled as her face seemed to find its perfect spot, smushed up against the cool high thread count cotton of the linens.

"And I'm not going anywhere."

"No?"

"I'm not. And for the record, I asked you for help. I asked you for help with Charlie. I asked you for a second chance. And that was the hardest thing I've ever had to do because I didn't deserve it. But you're you and you gave it to me. So don't be afraid Em. Not of anything." She said nothing. "Emily?" Nothing still. "Emily?" He turned to look at her to find her eyes closed, mouth just slightly parted, and bad arm rested over her torso. "Great. I finally say something right and you're out cold." It was laughable. "Goodnight Emily." He kissed her cheek. "I lo… Sleep well Emily. Things will be better in the morning." Or they'd be harder.

Hotch fell asleep beside her that night. He somehow ended up nearly spooning her, his hand resting on top of hers, wrapped around her waist in a very protective way. It was intimate without being inappropriate. It was very Emily and Hotch and perfect for their brand of passive aggressive denial they seemed to be so fond of. It was one step closer to realizing what they want without taking the step to admit it. But he still woke up feeling guilty. It was almost nine when the sun hit his face and he wiped away the grogginess. He was surprised Charlie wasn't already in the room asking if they were having a sleepover once again without her. Oh the memories…

Then the guilt hit. It wasn't nearly as strong as it should have been, he realized, but it was there. He had a girlfriend. Beth; he was dating Beth. And, for some reason, he thought it was a good idea to sleep with another woman. Just sleep… He wasn't going to feel guilty for being with the mother of his child in any capacity. They were bound together forever and he wouldn't feel bad for spending time with them. He wasn't doing anything wrong. Right? It was all innocent.

He figured he'd think it over more in depth at a later time. It was probably best he got up and dressed before Charlie saw him in her mother's bed; if she hadn't already. With the number of men in Emily's life, and apparently in her bed, it was a wonder Charlie was so normal. She was going to grow up to think her mother a bit of a promiscuous trollop. She wasn't of course, but they were definitely damaging the innocent mind. Derek, him, he was sure Clyde had been there a few times; it was like musical chairs, horizontal style…

Even his thoughts were messed up. He blamed the situation he found himself in; one complicated jumble. There was something wrong with him. He was sure there were a few somethings, but right then, his thoughts were muddled, he felt flustered, and he couldn't stop staring at her. Was it wrong? Probably. But was it his fault she moved so much during the night that the sheets no longer covered her, now, very exposed backside, and left it on full view just for him? He shouldn't have been looking, but he couldn't seem to look away. He also shouldn't have been feeling what he was feeling, but that didn't stop him from feeling it.

"Ok Aaron," he spoke to himself, "get a grip. Put some pants on and go make coffee. You can do that."

Shaking off the, the everything, he slipped on the previous day's slacks and pulled his button up over his undershirt. He didn't want to raise any sort of question he couldn't answer for his daughter. So dressed was best. After a quick trip to the bathroom, Hotch sauntered toward the kitchen for some coffee. By then, he was more familiar with the house. He had been there enough to know where Emily kept most things. Coffee and cups were easy finds. He was just about to head upstairs to check on Emily when he heard feet against the hardwood of the hall.

"Aaron?" The sweet little voice asked as he stepped onto the landing. "If you're here, that means mommy's here too right?"

"Hi Charlie." He greeted her. "Mommy is home, but we got here very, very late, so let's let her get a little more rest."

"But I want to see her."

"I know sweetheart, and you will. Why don't we surprise her with breakfast? She likes that."

"I can pick?"

"Yes, whatever you want to make as long as I know how."

"It has to have chocolate." She stated adamantly. "And we like our coffee in the morning."

"Funny." He said as he took her hand. "I don't remember your mom mentioning letting you drink coffee."

"She does." Charlie responded too quickly, looking to him with a guilty face. "Just a little cup." Still guilty. "A few sips… Sometimes…"

"That sounds about right. I'll tell you what, you be a good helper and I'll let you have a few sips of my coffee."

"Ok." She had a deviant little smile. "But we still get chocolate right?"

"Yeah Charlie. We can make chocolate chip pancakes. Ok?"

"Yum."

The two had fun cooking. They typically had fun doing whatever together, but he really savored every moment. He may not have realized it yet, but it was more than just spending time with Charlie that made him so happy. He liked waking up beside her; he liked the feel of her warm body next to his. He liked helping their daughter cook her breakfast and he liked the idea of the three of them lounging around the big bed eating off those stupid serving trays. It was a nearly perfect image; him with his girls. He just needed his little guy in there too.

But, all of that, as great as it could be, wasn't real. They'd never have that. If only they gave it a chance.

"Mommy's door is closed." Charlie said as they approached the room, Hotch carrying the tray of food, and Charlie sneaking sips of coffee from the travel mug in her hands. Sneaky like her mother.

"Maybe she woke up before we got here." He figured, if she did, she was probably getting dressed. "Knock ok?"

Nodding, Charlie went to the door, tapped on it just enough to be heard, and said, "Mommy, we're coming in." Not waiting for an answer, Charlie pushed it open and walked right in. When they entered, Emily was sitting on the bed, still in her button up pajama top but she added jeans to her attire. And the sling was on. Charlie did not miss that either. "What happened?" The scared look on her face was enough to make both parents just melt.

"Oh Charlie. I missed you so much."

"I missed you too. Did you get hurt again?" There was no deflecting with her; not about that.

"I got a little hurt, but I'm ok."

"How did you get hurt?"

Hotch placed the tray on the night stand as he watched the interaction. Charlie, still gripping the coffee, sat on the bed and looked to Emily for answers. Anyone who looked at her could see she was scared. Her mother was hurt and that terrified her. But they hoped they gave her enough support and taught her the right tools to be ok. Emily really had to think about what she wanted to say. Everything she came up with on the plane suddenly seemed obsolete. "Well, a bad guy had a weapon and when we told him that we were there to take him to jail he wasn't very happy."

"So he hurt you?"

"Yes, but it's only a little one this time."

"How come you didn't tell me on the phone?"

"Because baby girl, I didn't want you to worry. Mommy is fine."

"Ok." There was a hesitancy in there, but Emily let it slide. They'd have to see how things played out. If Charlie seemed to need it, Emily would pull out those numbers Claire gave her and set up an appointment. First, she wanted to give it a minute to sink in. "Mommy?" Sunk…

"Yes?"

"How come you always get hurt?" Hotch wanted to physically hurt himself. It did seem like it, didn't it? It always seemed to be Emily who came home bruised and battered. The thing with Cyrus, getting hit in the head, a car accident that wasn't much of an accident, Doyle… They all had their fair share of injuries, but it felt like she took the brunt of it for them. And where was he to protect her? She was the mother of his child and he let her get hurt. What if the bullet was just a few inches over? She would've been dead…

"Charlie." Emily pulled her closer so the little body was leaning against her right side. "I get hurt sometimes. I know. That happens with bad guys occasionally."

"Can't you tell them to be nice?"

"I wish I could. I wish I could make all the bad people in the world just be nice. But I can't. That's why I do my job; so I can take them off the streets so they can't do bad things."

"But I don't want you to do it. You get lots of hurts."

"I know you're scared mommy's going to sleep for a long time again or end up in the hospital again. Right?" Charlie nodded. "But you don't have to be afraid." Seemed hypocritical. Didn't she, just that morning in fact, say she herself was scared? "I'm going to try really hard not to get hurt, but if something happens, you have people all around you who love you and would take care of you."

"But they're not my mom."

"You're right. And I'm happy they're not because you're all mine. And you're never getting rid of me. I love you Charlotte. You are my Charlie Bear. I love you so much. And I'm sorry that I keep scaring you."

"Don't do it anymore."

"I'll try very hard not to."

"Aaron will protect you." She looked to him. "Won't you?"

"Yes Charlie, I'll do my very best." And from that moment forward, he'd do better than that. He couldn't let anything happen to her. His daughter would be lost without her. He would… They all would be lost without her.

"See mom, no more getting hurt. Now you have to eat to grow up and get stronger."

"I do?"

"Yup. Aaron made us pancakes with lots and lots of chocolate chips."

"Just the way I like them."

"And coffee too." Charlie held out the mug which Emily took.

"Hmm, seems a little light? Did someone drink some?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Not me." She shook her head. "Must've been Aaron."

"Hey. There's only one coffee monster in this room and I think it goes by the name Charlie."

"Nuh uh…"

"Yeah, I think so…" And somehow, the somber mood that quickly took over, just as quickly departed with a little tickling and a lot of laughing. It was exactly how he imagined it to be. And no one could accuse Charlie of not asking the right questions. She really knew how to create a stir.

"Where did you sleep last night Aaron?"

"Uh…" He had to know it was coming, but he was always so blindsided with her.

Charlie seemed to fair with Emily's injury quite well. There were moments of worry, of course, but it was true what they say. Kids are resilient creatures. They had an amazing ability to come back from anything. In reality, Charlie may have been the healthiest, must well adjusted of them all, especially the adults. They all seemed to hover over her the next work week. They would check on her, when on a normal day they wouldn't. They all knew what it was, but no one was willing to admit it; except for Rossi. Rossi was expecting it. Hell, he took part in it, but he knew it couldn't keep going. What would it be like when they were on a case again? Sure, they had a little down time, but when they were out in the field, they couldn't coddle her. They needed to work through their issues once and for all.

Rossi was just waiting for the right time to say something. He already cleared it with Hotch. He just needed everyone else to be willing as well. Aaron was just finishing the briefing when Rossi stood to keep people from leaving. "Don't go just yet."

"What's going on?" Morgan asked.

"I'd like to extend an invitation to you all."

"Another wedding Rossi? What number is that? Should we bring gifts or do you prefer money for the next divorce attorney?"

"Funny Emily. And no, it's not a wedding. I'd like for all of you, your significant others and children included, to join me for a weekend away."

"Away where?"

"My mansion."

"That's not exactly away."

"Well, it is what it is. Consider it a team building experience. I will cook us dinner. We will talk. We will get everything out in the open and we will leave stronger than we went in."

"I know it's short notice." Hotch stated. "But I agree that this is a good idea. We, as a team and as a family, have been through so much and have yet to properly deal with most of it. This weekend can be about moving on and finding closure. If we all agree, I've arranged with Strauss for a different team to be on call until Monday and she even agreed to allow us early leave Friday." Nobody said anything. They all just waited for someone else to be the first. Rossi took that as a sign he needed to reel them in.

"Emily's latest injury has brought everything that happened with Doyle back to the surface." He stated bluntly, getting the attention and stares he wanted. "It's time we talk this through and put it to bed one last time. We all have things that we need to say or questions we need to ask and it's time we do that. So what do you say?"

"Well, since I seem to be the problem, I'll be the first to say I'm in. Charlie and I will be there."

"And I've arranged to switch weekends with Haley, so Jack and I will be there as well."

"Will might have to work, so don't put him down as a definite yet, but I think Henry and I can make it."

"I guess I can move my date around." They all held their tongue, but they all had some sort of funny retort for that one.

"Penelope?"

"You had me at 'I'll cook' or maybe it was 'mansion' that got me."

"Good, Reid?"

"Don't tell us you have a date. We'll know you're lying kid."

"If everyone else is going, I can make it."

"Good. Friday, my house by 5 pm sharp. Don't be late."

Friday came and they all made it on time. Rossi gave them a quick tour upon arrival before showing them to their rooms. It really was a mansion. Their rooms were all on a separate wing of the house. He did that intentionally. That way, should the adults get a little loud with their talking, they'd be on the other side of the house and the kids would be none the wiser. He was a smart man that Rossi and he anticipated things would get a little heated.

But not the first night. The first night there was just about being together and enjoying each other's company. It was about having fun. And they did. Just walking in the door that afternoon, the house was inviting. It smelled of herbs and seasonings as the food scented the air. Rossi made them feel at home, as they expected, but he had his rules too. Kids weren't allowed near expensive things. Though, as long as their hands were grime free, the video games were all theirs. And they took advantage of that. Their parents didn't usually let them do that. They liked the old man.

A few short hours after settling and really exploring the Rossi man cave mansion, the group sat down for a meal. The large table was adorned with a variety of different dishes. There was everything from rolls and pasta to potatoes and steak. "I didn't know what the kids were eating these days. Figured I'd give choices." He explained to them. But the table was beautifully set. The good plates were out and the table pieces were on display. It wasn't what one would expect from David Rossi, but, then again, it was exactly what they expected.

"We have a lot to talk about and a lot of healing to do, but that's better left for tomorrow. Tonight we feast." Rossi lifted his wine glass into the air. "And we drink. And we celebrate."

"What are we celebrating?" Asked Garcia.

"That we're all still here to celebrate."

"Here. Here." Emily said as she raised her glass. Even the kids joined in with their grape juice filled wine glasses. They needed to be part of the fun too.

Dinner was filled with light conversation and laughter. It was exactly what they needed to ease into their therapeutic weekend. It wasn't going to be a trip to the spa, but they'd come out better for what they would have to go through. And it was always best to start out easy. Good food, good people, and good conversation; that was simple enough.

They moved on from there to dessert. Rossi truly was a god in the kitchen. They all agreed never to doubt that again. Cooking lessons would be from him from then on. They were in consensus. His pastry was just as great as his homemade pasta. Penelope, JJ, and Emily were suddenly seeing what his ex wives saw in him. Point was they were just enjoying being with each other; no drama and no case. They were with their families; everyone in one place.

As the sky grew darker, they moved the festivities outdoors. Rossi had a nice set up back there. The patio had cushioned deck chairs ready and waiting just for them. He even lit a fire in the pit to roast marshmallows. "Kids still eat s'mores right?" He asked them. Their response, with a laugh, was a nod. Who didn't love a good s'more?

Well after bed time, the kids were finally starting to nod off. They tuckered themselves out and the parents let them stay up longer than they should have. But it worked. They would sleep well and probably later than normal. Will picked up a sleeping Henry as Jack trailed behind. The boys were sharing a room. "Want me to carry her up for you?" Hotch offered. Charlie was asleep, or close to it, and Emily's arm was still healing.

"That'd be great, thanks." Emily followed behind them as he carried their daughter to the room. After telling Jack he'd come say goodnight as soon as he was done, he tucked Charlie into the bed she was going to share with her mother and they both said goodnight to their girl.

"I'll be down stairs in just a minute."

"Ok."

The group talked and joked until the yawns became too much and most of them turned in. Hotch offered to put out the fire so everyone else could get to bed and Emily took that as her chance to talk to him. "Hey Aaron. Got a second?" No one was around. First names were ok right?

"Sure Emily. What's going on?"

She took his hand and pulled him to the lounge chair directly in front of the flame. "I want to tell her."

"What?" It did seem a little random, but the timing felt right. They weren't going to do it that night and it probably wasn't going to happen that weekend, but she didn't want to put it off any longer. She wanted them to tell their daughter who he was and she wanted to do it soon. Telling him that then seemed like as good a time as any. Plus, she had something he needed to see first.

"We've been discussing it and discussing it, and I think it's time."

"You want to tell Charlie about me?"

"Yes. Soon."

"That's… That's great." He wanted to talk to her about that too. He even brought something to give to her that he should've handed over as soon as it was mentioned, but he didn't see it being that easy. He didn't see things going his way. Apparently, he was wrong.

"Yeah." She agreed. "We just have to work out the where and when. Then we tell her." He couldn't have been happier. "First you have to look these over." Emily reached into her purse that she snuck into the house to grab as everyone was going to their rooms, and pulled out a large white envelope.

"What is this?"

"Look at it."

He pulled the documents from the envelope. "Is this?"

"Yes."

"You had them drawn up?"

"I did. I had them for a while. These are updated and just need your approval. I figured you'd want to look them over, make sure everything's ok. And then, we can sign them."

"Emily… I… thank you."

"You're welcome."

"But why now?" He questioned. "I didn't get rid of the papers I had drawn up."

"I'm trusting that you will." That meant more to him than he could admit. "I'm hoping this is all the proof you need to know that I want this too." It was.

Levity took over as they sat there, the heat of the fire toasting their chilled bodies. Hotch couldn't keep the grin off his face as he held the papers in one hand and put the other around Emily. She had her head resting against his shoulder as she just stared out at the stars. It was comfortable. It was right.

"Aaron?"

"Emily?"

"I'm really glad you changed your mind. I'm really happy you want to be a part of her life."

"Me too. I was crazy to ever think any different."

"Yeah." She teased and let the calm night settle them. Turning her head so her chin rested near his shoulder, she said, "For what it's worth, I wish I told you sooner."

"It's worth a lot." He replied. And for a while, they just quietly sat there and listened to the nature around them. It was soothing to just be there with each other and take in what the night had to offer. "So we're really doing this?" He just had to make sure. He really needed to know it was happening because it all still felt like just a dream.

"We're doing this."

"We're going to tell her?"

"We are."

"Ok."

"Ok." With that, he pulled a folded envelope from his inside jacket pocket and let them. It was fortuitous that he brought it with him. He planned on giving it to her as a final peace offering so there was nothing left as leverage between them, so they'd be equal. And she beat him to it. "I don't need this anymore." He flashed the letterhead just enough that she knew what they were. The custody papers he had made; the same ones he told her about.

"You never did." She told him. "But I get why you had that drawn up."

"I was angry and I needed to protect myself."

"Right."

"But I'm not angry anymore and I don't need protection from you."

"No, you don't."

"You proved that to me time and again." She had no words, just let him speak. But he was done talking as well. He simply let his actions speak. He dipped the corner of the cream colored envelope into the flame until the fire spread through the paper, and dropped it into the pit.

It was cathartic to watch for both of them. The barrier they didn't know was there was suddenly lifted, burned away and in its place a bridge was rebuilt. It was freeing and gratifying. They still had their issues, but with each other, not where their daughter was concerned. With her, they knew where they were going. They would soon tell her the truth and it would be out there. Their issues lie within themselves; with each other. They weren't truthful with what they felt and until they were, that second barrier, that great wall, would still be there. Or, as it would turn out, a new one built.

Emily, apparently, had poor timing.

It was late. They were sure all their friends were already asleep and they were safe from scrutiny. So they felt comfortable with their actions. It was ok for them to be in front of the fire cuddling like the couple they weren't. That was what they were used to. That was what the last few weeks gave them; more progress. They were closer. They were friends. They were more? Maybe…

"Aaron?"

"Yeah?"

"I…" She pulled away from him, turning her body so they were face to face rather than side to side. But, instead of saying or doing anything else, she just sat there and looked at him.

"What is it Emily?" She wanted him in her life; not just for Charlie; though, she was the priority.

Without thinking it through, without truly understanding why, Emily gave into one of their random moments. They've had many before, most of them initiated by him, but it was her turn. She couldn't keep control anymore. She needed to feel his lips against hers, so she made it happen. Not saying a word, she looked into his eyes, put a hand on either side of his face, and connected her lips to his. There was still a lingering taste of marshmallow on his mouth that Emily delighted in.

It was his turn to be caught off guard. The night sure took a turn he did not see coming; several turns. First there were the legal papers and then a kiss. But he responded. He'd later say he was caught up in a moment. He'd reason it away as natural reaction, but it was more than that. Logically, he knew that. He enjoyed the kiss as much as she did. He responded just as passionately if not more so than she did.

It was a good kiss, as they all were. They were compatible. They were good together and if their moments of "weakness" were any indication, they were well on their way to realizing and maybe even admitting that. Or they would've been. But timing seemed to be a problem. Meaning, the timing sucked.

He had to put a stop to it. Not because he wanted to. He didn't want to. But he had to. Taking in one last moment of the kiss; he put his hands atop hers and pulled them from his cheeks as he backed away just a little bit. "Emily. Emily I…" He didn't know what to say. She looked like a kid caught in the act of stealing a cookie before dinner; like he burned her by pushing her away.

"I'm sorry." She quickly said. Maybe it was a mistake; though it didn't feel like one.

"No… No, don't be sorry. I just…" This wasn't how he wanted to tell her. "I'm seeing someone."

"You… You are?" That, she wasn't expecting, nor was she ready to hear it. She finally made a move after it seemed like he made several and… and he was seeing someone?

"Yes. I have been for a few weeks now."

She looked almost angry and he didn't understand it. "So you were what? Leading me on?"

"Leading you on? I wasn't leading you on."

"Hotch… You kind of were." He really was.

"How?" He asked genuinely unknowing.

"You come over almost every free second you have."

"To see Charlie." He quickly added, but he realized the lie in there. It was for her too, even if he was denying it.

"To see her after she's asleep? Was the wine for her too? Or the Chaplain movies we watched?" He saw her point.

"I like spending time with you too." But it was only about Charlie. Right? No… "But it's about her."

"We spend hours talking."

"I know."

"You kissed me."

"You kissed me back."

"And then I kissed you and you kissed me back."

"Well I…" He did. "What else was I supposed to do?"

"You spend nights at our house." She stated. There were a number of reasons why she was led to believe there was more going on and he gave them to her. If she realized her feelings just a little sooner, maybe he would've made the first real move toward something more. But he had Beth now. He was with someone that wasn't her.

"I do. It gets late and you're always kind enough to offer."

"Were you with her when… in New York?" She was worried about being the other woman in his marriage to Haley, but being the other woman's other woman just brought the whole mind boggling thing to a new level. She didn't think things could be any messier. Boy would that weekend prove her wrong.

"No."

"You sure have a way of sending mixed signals." She stated, but deep down she was starting to question everything she saw. Was it just in her head? Was it just what she was feeling?

"What do you mean?"

"We snuggle."

"What's wrong with that? We're friends and when we watch movies or talk, it's just natural."

"It's not. I don't snuggle with Rossi."

"But you do with Morgan." He wished she didn't.

"Well, I don't with Reid." Like that was a caveat that needed stating. She probably would cuddle on the couch watching Solaris or some equally nerdy very Reid and Emily type movie if she wasn't afraid he'd blush up and run away if or when she did.

"That's great." What the hell did she want from him?

"We…" She looked around just to be safe. She didn't need everyone in her business, "we slept together. I'd say that's a pretty big indication that signals are being signed."

"You said it meant nothing." She did say that. He felt the sting of that slap.

"Yeah… well… I lied." It wasn't nothing. It wasn't what it could've been, but it wasn't nothing.

"That's great Emily. You lied. That's so unlike you. But you can't just change your mind. You said it meant nothing and I moved on."

"You weren't clear then… We slept together. We both ignored it. Then you kissed me and things started to change. I don't know when I… It's just I feel something. I thought you did too. But I guess I was wrong."

"Emily…"

"No, it's ok. I'm glad this is out of the way." She didn't feel like too much of an idiot… "It's late." And she wanted out. "I think I'm going to turn in." She stood and gave him one last look. "See you in the morning."

He knew better than to argue with her. He hurt her. That was clear. However unintentional, he hurt her. "Goodnight Emily." He said with a sigh. Was the bridge broken again? How did he always find himself in some sort of mess?

After putting the fire out, he went to bed himself. Both he and Emily were not getting a good night's rest. He tossed and turned questioning if he really did send her mixed signals. He guessed he did; just not so mixed. He was sending her the right signals at the wrong time. It was so typical of them. He realized he didn't even know he was doing it, but he was. The kissing, the New York experience… None of that was planned. Each was just a spur of the moment, feel so much you just have to act type thing and he did. And it all meant something, but he wasn't aware of it; not really. But since they were on better terms, really since he started dating, maybe he had been a little… friendlier? …than he should've been. She was right. He was there all the time. And he said it was for Charlie, and it was, but it was for her too. He just liked talking to her and listening to her and getting to know things about her that he didn't know before. Did he take it too far? Did he mean to? Was it something that he wanted to stop?

Even if he wanted more, even if he wanted there to be more than parents being parents between them, he didn't see it ending well. They were too messed up for it to work. And besides, he was dating someone; someone he liked and cared about; someone much more simple than she was. So he'd make things right. Yeah. That was what he was going to do. He was going to make things right.

That thought process didn't quite work for Emily. She cuddled up to Charlie feeling like a fool. Her spontaneity, the same one that always seemed to work so well for Hotch, failed her. She put herself out there after months of shoving the feelings away and trying not to act on them at all. She finally reacted. She made the move, and she was turned down. She couldn't say she blamed him for it. She turned him down in her own way before. And he was a catch. Of course he found someone.

It didn't stop the hurt though. She wanted him. She admitted that to herself a bit too late. She liked the picture she had of them. Her, Charlie, Hotch, and Jack… She liked that picture. But the one she was living, the real picture, included some bimbo named Beth and she just had to accept that. She needed to find away to fit it all back into the vault. She wouldn't be able to live with herself otherwise. She was already one step toward crazy anyway. She couldn't make things harder for them than they were. So she knew what she had to do.

Everyone gathered for breakfast much like they had dinner the night before. All except Emily and Hotch looked so well rested. Why wouldn't they be? The beds felt like sleeping on a cloud. Too bad their minds were otherwise too preoccupied to notice. A good cup of coffee, Emily told herself, was all he needed to get through the day. But she kept feeling his eyes on her all through breakfast. She needed out and since she couldn't flee and hide away, she just needed something to get her out of that room.

"Why don't I get the dishes?" She offered. And though they protested, they ultimately agreed when the next offer came.

"I'll help her." She wanted out. So did he. He needed her alone so they could talk. But at first, even when it was just them in the kitchen rinsing dishes and putting them in the dishwasher, there was no talking. Someone had to start. "Last night, that wasn't how I wanted to tell you I was seeing someone."

"Don't worry about it Hotch." Emily responded dispassionately. "You're with someone. I get it. I'm happy for you. And I'm sorry that I… you know. It won't happen again."

"That's it?" He expected more. Maybe he wanted more.

"What else is there?" There was a lot more, but she went with denial. It never happened. After apologizing, she'd forget it all.

"I don't know." He really didn't. "I'm… I'm sorry that I lead you on."

"You didn't, I just…" He totally did.

"I did and I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry… I want you to be happy. If the girl you're with makes you happy, that's great. I shouldn't have assumed that any of it meant something to you. I was reading too much into nothing and I accept that." Well, she was trying to. "We can just forget last night ever happened." That was the way they did things; like they could just pick and choose what their memories held.

"We can be friends." Was he really giving the 'we can still be friends' speech? Oh she wanted to vomit.

"We are friends Hotch." She just kept telling herself to keep it together, that she went years not feeling what she could've been feeling for him and she could just not feel it again.

"Right."

"That won't change. We're in a good place. It's probably best we stay right where we are anyway." That was something she wanted to believe or the crushed feeling that she felt would've been too much. "And don't worry. None of this," she motioned between them, "affects things with Charlie. We're still going to tell her."

"Great… That's great." It was, but it felt like things were changing. He wasn't going to be spending his nights going over cases with her or talking nothing with her. He wasn't ready for that to be over. Truth was, neither was she.

But they were going to have to see what came of it. Emily would see how well her compartmentalizing skills really worked, and Hotch would see if he really could forget about it. It was a good kiss. They all were; all of them with her. "And I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have… Let's just put this behind us." They were going to try, but it wouldn't be easy for either of them.

Around mid afternoon, Will could sense the natives were getting restless. The kids were too. And since he didn't really need to be a part of whatever conversation was going to take place there, he offered to pick Charlie up from her dance class then take the three little ones with him to pick up some ice cream for dessert and maybe stop at the park before that. JJ gave him a quiet thank you as the other parents agreed. Rossi packed them some sandwiches and juice and sent them on their merry way. That left the BAU gang to do their thing. It seemed, however, that no one really knew where to begin. Instead of talking, they found themselves sitting around the table, picking at their lunch.

"Now's the time." Emily said, not looking up from her plate. "I know we talked before. And it's ok to bring it up again. If you have something you want to say or you feel the need to ask, now is the time. Whether it's about Doyle or something else, I'm right here. So just say whatever needs to be said. I don't want to be a problem for our team. I didn't think I was after I came back, but maybe that was just wishful thinking on my part." She finally looked up and around to the faces of her friends. "Things changed. I get that. So let's talk about what happened. Let's put it all out on the table so we can move on."

"I think that was well said Emily." Rossi stated. "I think I'll start." He started her off with easy things with answers they all knew. She had to remember to thank him later. He was easing her in because he knew it was uncomfortable for her. It was for all of them. But he opened the door for them and everyone started to ask questions or just talk it out. They needed details, they needed truth, and she could provide that.

"When did you know he was coming after you?" Garcia… Pure, innocent, curious Garcia…

"I got my first text from an unknown number on Thanksgiving." JJ glared at her. She knew something was wrong that day. The change in her was so sudden. "I wasn't sure it was him, not really until you told me Sean McCallister called. Then I knew I was in trouble. I met him at a bar to talk and he told me Doyle was gone. Vanished off the grid…"

"I still don't get why you didn't come to us." Morgan said. "That's what got me the most." They were getting somewhere; into the meaty stuff. "I'm your partner and your friend, but you didn't think you could come to me. You knew you could've. I would've had your back. But you chose not to."

"That's not what happened Derek."

"That's exactly what happened Emily." The anger was good. They tried to contain it before, but they wouldn't work through it if they never let it out.

"Did you know he threatened you?"

"How would we? You didn't say anything?"

"I sat at a table and waited for him. I knew he was watching. I knew he'd show up. And he did. He came to me after watching me for hours and he sat down. He sat across from me and I asked him why I shouldn't shoot him. I had my gun. The safety was off. My finger was on the trigger. It could've been over. I would've been a murderer, but the people I loved would've been safe. My daughter and my family would've been safe."

"Then why didn't you do it? If you could've ended it then, why didn't you?"

"Doyle was a lot of things. Dumb was not one of them. Neither was unprepared. He wasn't alone. He had an army working for him. Some of them were there watching. Others, I'm sure, were out there watching all of you."

Reid looked to her with question. "How do you know?"

"He knew my real name; not surprising." Emily began with a far off look on her face as she recounted the memories. "I told him I had my Glock aimed at his crotch. I would've used it. I wanted to." They didn't know this part of the story. Truth was they didn't know much of it at all. So they were avidly listening. "He told me I wouldn't make it to the car and I knew it. He was right. There was probably a sniper on one of the roofs. He didn't travel alone and never without Liam. But I didn't care about me. I would've taken the shot just to protect all of you; just to end it before it really began."

"So what stopped you?"

"He asked me if lovely Penelope knew who I really was or if she was too busy watching movies with Derek to care."

"He thought I was lovely?" They all just gave her a look. Really?

"So he knew what we were doing. Maybe he just watched us for a while. That was a regular thing for us."

"He had people there Derek. The next words out of his mouth were, 'here you are, all alone while Aaron sits at home with his son.' I didn't want to hear anymore after that. If he knew where you all were and what you were doing, I couldn't take the risk. He knew how to hurt me and he knew that. If anything happened to him, if I killed him there, there'd have been nothing stopping them from killing you just to kill you. I couldn't allow that."

"What happened after that?"

"He told me what he wanted."

"Which was?'

"I was going to pay with the only thing that mattered to me. Her. My life and her; he was going to take them from me. But you guys were safe. As long as I didn't involve you, you were safe."

"We were in danger either way Emily. We were shot at."

"We were shot at in warning. If he wanted us dead, we would've been dead." They could debate it all they wanted and Emily listened to all they had to say, but if they wanted the full story, they had to let her speak. So they did. "You were all worried about me. I could tell. Rossi was telling me I should go on vacation. I'm pretty sure JJ was convinced I was dying of some terminal disease when I asked her to take Charlie if I died. I snapped at Penelope. Morgan came right out and asked me what was going on and Reid noticed my nails. I was a mess and I couldn't hide it no matter how hard I tried."

"You didn't need to hide it. It was our risk to take. You should've trusted us to help no matter what. You should've given us the chance to prove we could help. We would've helped!"

"I didn't want your help. It was like he said. You were innocent. I was not. I wasn't going to get you killed just to save my own ass."

"Not even to save Charlie's?"

"Don't you get it?" Obviously they didn't. "My own government, a government whose laws I swore to uphold, whose allegiance I pledged, used my own daughter for their personal gain. They used a baby to taunt a terrorist. They used _my_ baby to get to him. She had nothing to do with him. But they made her a target. They put her in the line of fire. That's not something you just get over. But I did. I had to. But I wasn't going to let you guys get dragged into it too. I wasn't going to let any other innocents become pawns in the game. I wasn't willing to risk your lives. So, I asked Clyde to take Charlie away. I had her school work taken, I packed her a bag, and I gave her a burner phone, and I said my goodbyes. I told my 5 year old daughter that I loved her for what could've been the last time. My government did that to me. They gave me a job and I did it. And it did nothing but come back to haunt me. He's dead and he's still causing problems." She needed them inside her head. She was opening up in the only way she knew how. "After we were shot at, after it was confirmed for me, once again, that Doyle was coming for me, I knew that was it."

"Why'd you run?"

"I didn't run. Running implies I was getting away. In reality, I was finishing what I started. I knew where he'd be. He left the clues for me; little breadcrumbs he wanted me to follow. So I took the bait. I knew that was the only way."

"The only way for what?"

"The only way to end it without risking anyone else. He wanted me. I thought if he had me, he wouldn't worry about any of you and Charlie was being taken care of."

"So you just up and left?"

"I wanted so badly to say goodbye, but if I said the words… I just couldn't. So during the briefing, I saw my chance. It was like the world played out in slow motion as I took it all in. I knew walking out those doors I might not ever be coming back and you would hate me for it, but at least you all would be alive to feel it."

"So that's it? You made the choice for us and now we live with it?"

"No." That wasn't what she wanted. She didn't just want them to live with it, she wanted them to understand. Maybe that was expecting too much.

"You took our choices away. What if telling us would've changed things. We could've saved you the trouble; could've saved us all a lot of pain. How are we supposed to live with that?"

"You don't have to live with anything you don't want to. If you want me off the team, I'm gone. I'll find another job if that would make things easier. I just want you to have whatever answers I can give you. You deserve that."

"Alright, we're listening."

"What happened next?"

"When I left, I immediately called Clyde. I told him to leave. I told him he had Charlie's passport, to take her and to leave."

"But he didn't. He ended up in Boston."

"Of course he did. Why would he listen to me?"

"So, what would've happened if we didn't figure out you were Lauren?"

"I didn't want you to figure it out. I wasn't proud of that part of my life. I never wanted that part of my life out there for display."

"Not even to us?"

"Not even to myself most days." She said honestly.

"But you left your badge and gun?"

"Maybe I wanted you to come after me on some level, or maybe that was me saying I wasn't coming back. I don't know."

The more they heard, the less they knew what to think. They only had their ideas. They knew what they felt and what they went through but there was a whole other side to the story. Her side was the only side they really didn't know. "So you went after Fahey?"

"I did. I knew he'd have the information I was looking for. I didn't know he'd call Clyde and I didn't know he'd end up with you guys."

"We're good at what we do."

"Sometimes too good…" She drifted, but she continued her story. She told them all of it up to the point where she thought she cornered Doyle. She thought she had the upper hand. "It was a trap."

"We saw that."

"Garcia's screaming scared us half to death."

"I'm sorry." That was all she could say, and it was the truth. She was sorry she put them through that.

"You can be as sorry as you want Emily, but this didn't have to happen. Do you know what it felt like for all of us?"

"We were terrified. We thought we were going to lose you."

"We had to hear him hurt you. We had to…"

"You guys have a right to feel what you feel, and I'm not minimizing that. I hurt you. I lied. And that gives you the right to feel however you want, but you have no idea what happened with me while I was there. You have a sealed statement that I gave while in the hospital, but the truth is, even if you read that, you don't know."

"So tell us."

"Some things are better left where they are. What I did, I did for all of you; to keep you safe and my daughter out of harm's way."

"So you did it for us but you won't tell us what it was. Then what's the point? Why are we here if you're not going to be honest with us?" That came from a surprising source. It was JJ asking.

"You want honesty?"

"Yes. We all want honesty."

"Being there with him was hell for me. It was bad for you. It was worse for me. But I probably deserved most of it and I would do it again for any of you. But you weren't there. You don't know how I felt. You don't know what I had to do…"

"Did you have to…?" He couldn't finish the question.

"Did he rape you?"

"No. No he didn't."

"Then what did you have to do?" She didn't answer. "Emily?"

"I had to beg him to kill somebody." It was a painful revelation for he, as would her next one be, but she had to tell them. She worked on putting killers behind bars; that was her livelihood, but she had to beg for someone to be murdered. Sometimes she felt that made her as bad as any of the people she had locked up.

"What? Why?"

Looking away from them, she answered the question. "Bringing Fahey on the roof for a cigarette was a good call. A solid plan. How were you supposed to know there was a sniper watching?"

"You knew about that?"

She didn't answer the question directly. "There was a camera on the scope. Doyle thought it'd be fun to make me watch. He called in Liam to bring in the laptop. I could see you; Rossi and JJ on the roof with Fahey. If I had to guess, he was probably saying something vulgar. But then Liam spoke. 'First the blonde. Then the goateed fellow. Then Fahey if he still has a shot.'" She mimicked the Irish brogue. "I realized he just wanted me to be her again. He wanted me to be Lauren; the me he knew before it all went bad. And I became her. I had to beg." Her eyes watered. "I had to beg him to shoot Fahey. And that wasn't really like Lauren, but what I said was. 'Kill him.' I said. 'Shoot Fahey and my team has nothing.'" She shook her head, still looking away. "I watched him kill a man that I begged him to kill to save two people I loved. So you can say whatever you want and you can be angry with me, but don't question what I would do for you or what I have done for you. I sat there tied to a chair and prayed for his death. I prayed that whoever was holding that gun was an expert marksman so you wouldn't get hurt. And I can live with that. I can deal with that. But I can deal with you thinking I went off half cocked because I thought it would be fun or because I wanted to hurt you. I didn't do that. I went out there, willing to die, to protect all of you." She practically screamed.

"We're not questioning that Emily. We don't doubt you. We just want to understand. We had to go through this too."

"We had to listen to you being hurt. That, to me, is worse than any physical pain he could've caused me."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." Emily hissed. She just wanted to continue her story. If they heard it all, it'd be over. "I knew he knew about Charlie, but it wasn't until that moment that I learned he thought she was his daughter. He really believed it too. And it threw me. I didn't understand why." They knew what she was doing, but they let it happen. They were all emotional, but it needed to be done. They sat there as she explained what happened next; how Ian showed her what the interrogators showed him. "They gave him pictures of a dead girl who looked just like Charlie. They told him we died. The woman he loved and their child died." Of course, they knew that wasn't the truth. That wasn't really who they were. That woman never really existed and Charlie wasn't his.

She took them through so much of it she barely even knew what she was dong. It was like reliving it and she hated it, but it was a necessity. They worked through it all. From point A to point B, she filled in what they missed. Everything was all just one big emotional roller coaster and they all took the ride. It was up and down through it all. It was very poignant.

"How did you just get over it? You got better and you just let it go."

"You think I'm over it?"

"Aren't you? You look over it."

"I can't dwell on it. That was what I learned in therapy, but I can't escape it either. I want my job. I like doing what I do. And I can't do it if all of you worry about me. I'm not a China doll that's going to fall and break. But I'm not a robot either. I live with what happened every day. I still look over my shoulder everywhere I go. I still set the window alarms at night and sleep with a gun in reach. I can't forget. I live with a physical reminder every day." She questioned whether her next move was wise, but she tried not to over think it. Maybe bearing her soul would let them understand that she's ok and that they all could be. She moved her hand toward the top buttons of her shirt.

"Your scar?"

"That too." She continued unbuttoning her shirt.

"What are you doing?"

"Do you know what it's like to smell burning flesh? Because I do." She ripped the top of her shirt open exposing the top of her bra. It wasn't the most appropriate thing to do, but appropriate wasn't synonymous with right. "He did this to me." She sated as she heard the gasps and jaws opening. "The smell of my skin burning under the… I can still smell it sometimes. He wanted me to remember him, and I will, forever."

"I didn't see that before." Hotch said.

"You wouldn't have. I didn't mention it in the report. When the clothes don't cover it, make up does. That was never for you to see." And she didn't want them staring at it any longer. She quickly started rebuttoning. "I don't even like to look at it. But I needed to show you. You needed to see so we can move on. I got hurt, and then I got hurt again. I've been hurt before, and it'll probably happen in the future too. At some point, we've all been in the line of fire. The only difference is that my past caused this. My past hurt all of us in some way and I didn't do what you expected me too. I almost died and all of you want to protect me. I get that. But that's not the problem. We can work on that. That will fade. I need to know if you can trust me. Do you trust that I have your back? Do you trust that when I say something, it's the truth? I guess, what I'm asking is if you still want me on this team. If you don't I'll accept that." But she didn't want that to be the case. "I'll have to. But if you do, if you want me to stay, then you need to get everything off of your chests so we can out this to rest. Doyle doesn't need to follow us anymore. I've grown. We all have. Can't we just let this be over?" She waited for the answers, not sure what she would get. But she didn't get anything. She was losing them and it scared her. She had to try something. "You guys remember the bad, and, don't get me wrong, I remember that too, there was a lot of bad, but that's not what I remember most. What I remember is listening to the world's sexiest hacker's voice on my voicemail telling that she was angry with me but that I better stay alive because you were coming for me; you were carrying flashlights and calling my name to take me from the dark."

"You heard that?" Garcia asked.

"I remember my best friend," she looked to JJ, "agreeing to look after the single most important person in my world, no questions asked because that's the kind of person she is." Then she looked to Derek. "What I remember most is lying on that floor bleeding thinking I was dying and knowing that my friend was holding my hand. I was dying and you were there for me. I wasn't alone anymore. You were fighting to keep me going when my body was giving up. You were telling me all the things I needed to hear even though I knew you were mad. You told me you were proud of me even though I knew you hated what I did." The tears were flowing. "I remember waking up in the hospital to my family, because that is what you are. You are my family. You took care of me. You supported me. So, above the bad, I remember the good that came from this. I may have lied and neglected a few untold truths, but this experience solidified our friendships for me. I know I can count on you when times are tough. I know you'll be there if I need you. I know who to turn to. I know who you are. And I hope that after all of this, you can still feel the same about me. Because I love each and every one of you. I found a home with you that I didn't think I'd ever find. And I don't want to give that up. But I will… If it's what you want or if it's what you need, I will walk away. I just need to know that you can forgive me. The beatings I can take. I healed from what Doyle did, but this… Losing all of you or you blaming yourselves for something you couldn't have stopped… That I can't take. So tell me. If that's what you want, just tell me."

"It's not what we want."

Once the shock wore off the rest spoke too. "I trust you Emily.

"We all do."

"And we don't want you to leave. Right?" The group responded unanimously and a weight was lifted from her shoulders.

"This was never about you leaving or any of that. We just wanted to know why you didn't trust us; why you felt you had to lie to us."

"It wasn't about trust. It was about protection. And if I could've done things differently, there are things I would change, but no matter what, I'd want to protect you."

A little more talking took place as they worked through the rest of the incident. "I think we can agree to really try and put it behind us. We reserve the right to talk about this in the future, but we can't let it affect us anymore."

"I'm going to try not to feel guilty about it." Morgan said and Emily couldn't have been happier. He shouldn't have ever blamed himself for any of it and she tried to make that clear. It wasn't his fault. He wasn't responsible for what she did and didn't do.

"Good. You shouldn't. All of you pulled me through this and I wouldn't be here without you. If we need to talk about it, we will, but I don't want this to ruin us. I don't want my past to bring us all down."

"We won't let that happen." Hotch insisted with finality. And that was that. No, it wasn't over. There'd be moments where they'd think about it all. There'd be times they were reminded of the incident and the bad feelings would come back. But they could all agree that it was in the past and they were going to do their best to make sure it stayed that way. What happened was over and they couldn't let it affect what they had. They were a family and that was a bond stronger than any one man's crazy could break.

"Now that we got that out of the way, I just have one more question."

"And what's that Derek?"

"Why lie about Charlie? I asked before. Hell, I'm sure we all did. But I don't think we ever got a straight answer. You had five years to tell us about her. Why didn't you?" She wished she had an easy answer.

JJ's eyes were burning her. They had been all day, all week even. But she ignored it, sighed, and answered. "When I began at the BAU, it wasn't relevant."

"How is having a kid not relevant?"

"No one ever asked. I never had to answer. Honestly, the way I was welcomed by Hotch, I didn't think I'd be staying that long. He basically told me my hiring was a clerical error. So, telling you my life's story wouldn't change anything. But that isn't why I didn't tell you."

"Then why didn't you?" Reid asked.

"When I told JJ that Charlie's father is a good man, I meant that." She snuck a look at Hotch to make sure she heard what she had to say. "He was and is a good man, but like most of my past, our history is complicated."

"What's that have to do with us?"

"Charlie's father works at the FBI." She stated. She wasn't going to give much more detail, but she could give them that. There was something to be said about giving enough to satisfy curiosity.

"And he didn't know?"

"No. He didn't know for most of my time there. But listen. When I first started at the BAU, not only did I immediately run into the man who fathered my child, but Doyle was still out there. At the time, I didn't know what he knew. I didn't want to risk him finding out about her, so I kept her a closely guarded secret." She explained. "And that was ok at first, but as we got closer, I should've said something, especially after he was caught. She's a big part of my life that I neglected to tell you about and that was unfair."

"Yeah, it hurt." Garcia stated.

"I know. And after a while my 'he should know first' mentality kind of took over. Then that became me just not knowing how to tell you after so many years."

"You could've just spit it out like ripping off a band aid. Some of us would've been angry, with reason, but we would've gotten over it. It would've been better than being blindsided in Boston in the middle of a case."

"You're right. I'm sorry for keeping her from you. I'm sorry for not telling you sooner. I'm sorry for so many things. Her father forgave me for not telling him. I'm hoping you can forgive me too. I can't promise that I have no more skeletons in my closet, a girl has to have a few bodies buried somewhere, but I promise that I will try to be forthcoming. I will try to be more open about my past. And once we work through it and once Charlie knows her father, you are all on the top of the tell list."

"I can live with that."

Apparently they all could, except JJ. For most of the day, she was nothing but sighs and unease. They had spent hours talking about Doyle and JJ was able to put her feelings about the other things aside because she genuinely wanted to be there and hear it all, but she couldn't anymore. Emily apologized to all of them for everything, but she wouldn't even admit she lied to her.

They were at a place of peace. They accepted there were things Emily wasn't ready to tell them and that she would when she was. They accepted that from that point on she would do her best to be truthful. And they knew they could still count on her despite all that happened. And JJ knew all that too. But she couldn't help but feel betrayed. Why, after everything, would Emily blatantly lie to her? She kept all the other secrets. Why couldn't she be trusted with that one too?

"Excuse me." JJ said as she scurried from the table. "I'm going to get a drink."

Everyone watched her go before Emily stood too. "I need some water. Anyone else need anything?" It didn't matter if they did. She just wanted to see what was going on with JJ. She walked into the kitchen to find JJ's back to her. The blonde had her back hunched, her arms leaning against the marble countertop, and her head down. "You ok Jayje?"

"Fine." She huffed.

"That didn't sound like a good fine."

"I'm fine Emily."

"Is something going on?" Wasn't there always something? Inhaling deeply, JJ turned around. "Is this about?" She motioned for the other room as to say "everything we just talked about."

"No."

"Are you sure? Because, of everyone, you deserve my biggest apology. I'm sure I said it before, but I can never say it enough. I put so much on you and I put you through so much and, for that, I am so sorry."

"Sorry for what?" She snapped. Emily wasn't sure what to make of it. What was with the attitude?

"I'm sorry for everything I put you though; for dragging you into my mess and for asking you to make the tough calls. I'm sorry for being less than truthful when you've been nothing but open with me."

Scoffing, JJ said, "Less than truthful? Is that what we're calling it now?"

"Why are you so angry with me?" Yes, she deserved the biggest apology and probably more, but she was usually the most understanding and forgiving of the bunch.

"I understand that you sometimes just can't say things."

"Ok." Where was she taking that?

"You keep things locked away until you can't anymore. That's who you are. I understand it. That's you."

"Alright?"

"I even accept the half truths you give me and the stalls you use."

"Jayje…"

"You lied to me!" There it was. The underlying cause of all the pain; the lies she told.

"I know I did. That's why I'm apologizing. I lied to all of you and I'm sorry." She felt like she was missing something.

"Not about that."

"Then about what? When did I lie to you? What did I lie about?"

"When we went to the bakery. You lied to me."

"What?" IT wasn't a "what" but a "what!" She did lie. And she knew it would burn her. At the time, it felt like something she had to do.

"I didn't ask you… You just came out and said it, but you didn't even consider telling the truth did you?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You said he wasn't her father. You looked me in the eyes and said he wasn't."

"JJ I…"

"Don't try to deny it."

"I wasn't." She wasn't.

"You looked me in the eyes and lied to me. You didn't even cover it up. You said Aaron wasn't her father."

"I know what I said."

"But why lie? I wouldn't have said anything. Aaron Hotchner is Charlie's father and you…"

"Aaron's my dad?!" Both sets of eyes went directly to the little girl.

Great… Just great…

**I did end it there didn't I? I'm such a bitch… I know, I've been told. Happy belated Easter. Welcome to spring! **

**PS: I had to read over some of the older chapters in order to write this one and I can't believe there were so many mistakes. I was a terrible editor then. Am I better now? How come no one told me I sucked?**

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**

**tiva auggie and annie hp fan** **That's what I like to hear! I am so happy you love this story. It means so much to me.**

**SouthunLady**** Beth won't be in it too much. She's really only mentioned in passing unless her presence in needed. And it pains me too. I have a plan for her. Beth is not the end all. But she's not the real enemy. Does that make sense? It will eventually. I love working through their relationships; all of the different ones. It's raw and real and I enjoy that. Hope you liked this mammoth of a chapter too. Do people like the long ones? Super long?**

**rmpcmfan**** I felt that was an important choice she had to make. It wasn't choosing one over the other and it wasn't about protecting her secrets, it was about preserving the picture and protecting him. It'll come up again. Charlie and Jack definitely need to know!**

**Emilyhotchnerforever**** No need for violence. There will be no murder of characters here (except by an unsub). Though JJ wasn't told, JJ did know. And now she confronted Emily. Uh oh… And I love the banter too. **

**anlemi ****Their friendship is important! I believe rifts are only opportunities for growth. If you don't come out the other side better, it wasn't a strong bond to begin with. Make of that what you will… **

**greengirl82**** Yay! I'm glad. You know, I think that part surprised people. They didn't expect him to tell her he had papers drawn up and no one would expect her to be so ok with it. But I did that to show growth. They can't be afraid of everything all the time and they were honest about it. That has to mean something. And the family moment are some of my favorites. I love writing those. Another little Hotchner girl… It would be adorable wouldn't it? Hmmm… What does the future hold? Snoopy JJ is draining, but she has reason to do it. Foyet huh? Who says I don't have plans for him already? Murder anyone?**

**dcatt**** Happy you're caught up too! I imagine that was a lot of words to get through. Beth… Well Beth is Beth. I think you're right about the evil fan girl thing. I don't think she's the mystery unsub, but I'm so behind on this season I'm still on the first few episodes, so , for all I know she could be it. **

**CalleighJ**** I'm pretty sure I set you up to think there's always a black cloud looming around. I can do that to people. The reactions… I'm looking forward to seeing how you all react to their reactions. It should be fun. I made Beth a little likable right? I didn't want her to be the monster, but I don't want her with Hotch either. And thank you, saying it gets better with every chapter means so much.**

**DaskaFinn ****Cliffhanger! Oh no! And I left you with another one… What an ass! I kind of tricked you with the Jack thing. I wanted Charlie to know first. (I have plans. Big plans)**

**HPforever-after**** Don't be too worried about Beth (notice how I had to just throw in that kiss thing, blah… I just had to glance over that). I think this chapter covered a lot of what you said, didn't it? Charlie knows, in a sense, and Jack is sure to follow and JJ confronted Emily… Crap hit the fan. Emily can't really drag her feet now. She has to react.**

**HGRHfan35**** I hope you find the time for this monster chapter too. I go overboard. Can't help it and not sure I want to. I probably should find a writers anonymous. They are so right for each other. And things will come back to bite them in the butt. Emily did kind of panic, didn't she? But it was a choice she made and she has to deal with the fallout. **

**Celina79**** No, thank you. It makes my day every time I read a comment, especially the really nice ones. Each one means the world. Enjoy the update.**

**Rugbygirrl**** Glad you can deal. No permanent residency for Beth. The family time is the best!**

**Cinnamonfa**** The fallout is a coming… It won't be pretty, but I set it up like it is for a reason… Have a little faith in me that things will work themselves out. Beth is annoying and I'm sorry to inflict her on you. I feel like we're talking about some disease I gave you that you can't get rid of. That is Beth… It's funny. Look forward to those reactions, they're coming. **

**leahloahla**** So much has happened. It's crazy. Thank you so much; I live to astound people. Lol. Things won't always work out so nicely, but they deserved a little break. **

**elianaaa ****I apologize for the long wait. I never intend to do that, but somehow it always seems to happen. You guys are all so great and you deserve timely updates. I try. I do. But it's here now. Enjoy.**


	31. Hate is a Strong Word

_I do not own Criminal Minds, only the characters I have created in that world._

**I did set alerts. That didn't help. Sorry. **

**This chapter is incredibly long. It was even longer, but upwards of 30,000 was excessive even for me, so when the site wouldn't let me upload, I did some 'cleaning up' and brought the word count down a little. It's still longer than some entire stories. **

**Now, on with the show. I bet you're all dying to know if I actually had Charlie overhear that or if it's another one of my almost, but nope scenarios…**

Chapter 31: Hate is a Strong Word

"But why lie? I wouldn't have said anything. Aaron Hotchner is Charlie's father and you…"

"Aaron's my dad?!" Both sets of eyes went directly to the little girl.

Great… Just great…

Emily barely had time to process the giant let down that was her move on Hotch and there she was with another bomb to deal with. If reliving some of the worst days of her life wasn't enough, explaining to her five year old that JJ was yelling at mommy because she's a big fat liar who neglected to tell her best friend that their boss was her daughter's father definitely wasn't going to make it any better. And JJ's guilty, silently mouthed "I'm sorry" wasn't a cure all either. Emily was starting to understand why her mother and father left nannies to raise her. They didn't have to deal with the headaches and heartaches that came from childrearing. They didn't have to deal with all the drama. Then again, maybe that was part of the reason she ended up pregnant at 15. God, would Charlie resent her as much as she did her parents?

"Mommy?" She had to think quickly, but her mind was blank. "JJ?" How was it that a child, a tiny 5 year old girl, could have a more intimidating stare than any criminal they ever faced? How? "Mommy what's going on?" Her little girl looked so scared, like everything she had ever known was just taken from her. "Mommy?" If Emily wasn't so stunned, she swore she could've killed JJ. No, she was going to kill her. This was, most definitely, not how that was supposed to happen. "Mommy, why aren't you saying anything?"

JJ looked to Emily almost as desperately as Emily was looking to Charlie. Oh did she step in it this time. "Charlie, sweetie," _Think Jayje, think…_ "is everyone back with you?"

She nodded. "Will took Henry and Jack into the backyard because everyone was going there to play with the dog." But really, none of that mattered, not then. So, with barely a pause, Charlie looked to JJ with her brow furrowed and her eyes wide. "JJ, why'd you say that? Aaron's not my daddy." And then it was Emily's turn to be on the receiving end of one of those infamous Prentiss looks. "Right mommy?" It was one of the few times she hated how much nature prevailed in procreation.

Emily didn't know what to do. Was there a right way to diffuse the situation? Obviously, she wasn't going to lie. There had been enough of that and she just couldn't do it. Before she could do anything else, she needed out of her stupor. Deep breath in, and exhale… Yeah, that didn't help. Somehow though, she managed to pull on her stony demeanor and do… something. "I really don't like you right now." She said quietly as she walked passed her friend and knelt down before her daughter. "Charlie, we need to talk about what you heard."

"Why? She's lying. You're not supposed to lie JJ. That's not a good thing." No, it wasn't…

Seeing her friend's growing distress, JJ decided to help the brunette out a little. She did help create the current situation. She could at least try and fix it. "You're right Charlie. Lying is bad." That wasn't helping either, she realized, as Emily shot another glare in her direction. She added another sorry to her to-do list.

"Then why'd you lie?"

"Well I…" Crap…

"Charlie, look at mom for a second ok?"

"What mommy?"

"I know you heard what JJ said."

"Uh huh." She gave her mother a 'duh' look as she nodded along.

"And I know you think she's lying…"

"She is!"

"But she's not." Emily tried to remain calm. Every fiber of her being felt out of whack. The mental anguish she was dealing with at that moment, after the already emotional day she just lived through, felt worse than any physical injury she could've ever received. She almost wished for the physical pain. That would heal and she'd have an estimate of when the damage would be done, but secrets were explosive and she had so many that just kept coming to the surface and leaving mountains of carnage in their wake.

"Yes she is!" The little girl yelled. "Tell her JJ! Tell mommy you're lying." The blonde's heart was breaking just as bad as the brunette's.

As angry as she was at Emily for lying to her, even if on some very deep level she understood the reasons why, she didn't want Charlie to be involved. She didn't want to cause such a stir. She definitely didn't want to be the one to break the news to her. "I'm sorry." She said aloud, an apology more for Emily than the upset child. She was sorry, so, so sorry.

"Yeah." Emily simply stated with no emotion, letting her eyes speak for her as she gave her the evil eye. "Charlie, can you sit down please. Come talk to me."

"No."

"No?" Emily was surprised. "What do you mean '_no_'?"

"That's the rule. If someone tells a lie, they have to say sorry and tell the truth. JJ has to do that."

"No baby, she doesn't."

"Why not?"

"Because she's not lying Charlotte. She's telling the truth."

"No she's not." In a moment of pure childhood insolence, Charlie stomped her foot and stormed off. "You're lying too!"

"Charlie." Emily called. "Charlie come back." Emily moved to go after her, but she knew her daughter, she knew how alike they are. Charlie needed a little alone time before they really talked and Emily proved what a great liar she really was.

The brunette stood there, her face engulfed in her palm as the other arm wrapped around her. What was going to happen? How was Charlie going to take it once the news settled? What happened next? "Emily." The soft voice called for her as a gentle hand touched her shoulder. As comforting as it should've been, in that moment, it really wasn't. "I didn't mean for that to happen." Emily said nothing, just continued taking very deep, hopefully calming, breaths. "And I…"

"JJ," she pulled away from her friend like her touch was revolting, stood up straight, and looked to the blonde, "I lived my life believing, for the most part, that the only person I could trust was myself. There were a few people along the way that changed that, and you're one of them. You are my best friend and I know I can tell you anything, including this, but sometimes, that old me comes back. The me that only knows to believe in me rears her ugly head and I have doubts about sharing such important things with anyone. Even you. So yes, I lied. And I'm sorry. And hell, if you want to talk it out or yell at me, then that's fine. We can do that. I'll probably even apologize… again, and maybe grovel a little. But it's going to have to wait because I now have a very confused and frightened 5 year old girl trying to figure out how someone she calls her friend is also her father. So thank you for that."

"Emily I'm…" Sorry… She was just so sorry. That wasn't supposed to happen. She was just angry and she wanted Emily to understand that. She didn't want Charlie to witness their argument and she surely didn't want her to overhear that.

"It's fine Jayje. You don't have to be sorry. Karma sure has a way of showing you who's boss. I guess I deserved this one huh?" It was humorless. She wanted to just crumble.

"No Em you…"

"Yes I do." She quickly cut in. She deserved the pain she was feeling and the look in her daughter's eyes that she knew was coming; the same look she was sure she gave her own mother on a number of occasions. It wasn't going to end well. A humorless laugh escaped her lips once more. "And I didn't think this day could get any harder. It's like going from one excruciating topic to the next."

"Emily…" Again, she cut her off. She didn't want to hear it.

"I'll talk to you later. I have to go find Charlie." With one last pinch of her nose, Emily solemnly walked from the room leaving a guilty blonde in her wake.

"I'm sorry." She said to the fleeting figure. "I'm sorry." But Emily didn't hear any of it. She was already gone and, before she knew it, someone else was there in her stead.

"JJ." The voice caused her to look up toward it.

"Hotch?" How fortuitous…

"We thought we heard yelling."

"You did." She said with a sigh. Of course they heard something. What else could go wrong?

"Why? What's going on? Who was yelling?"

"Charlie uh…" Did she tell him she knew or did she keep her mouth shut? Her mouth seemed to be getting her in trouble.

"Charlie? Did something happen with Charlie?" He asked panicked.

"She's… Emily and I…"

"Did something happen with Emily? I know today was hard on her," especially when she bore all figuratively and literally. "Did something happen?"

"She…"

"She what JJ? Help me out here." He was desperate for answers.

"You should probably talk to her."

"Ok." If he wasn't going to get answers from her, he was ok going straight to the source.

He was set to leave when she said, "But I'd give her a minute." Or a few… A few would be good…

"Why?" Not only was he curious, but he was worried too. JJ looked like she just saw a ghost. And yes, they were all feeling that a little bit after Emily walked them through her experience and they saw the "tattoo" of reminder on her body, but it was something else. "What happened in here JJ?" He demanded more. He needed to know.

What the hell, she already stuck her foot in her mouth once. It couldn't hurt to do it again. "Charlie overheard Emily and me talking."

"What were you talking about?" He questioned.

JJ looked to him, her stare directed from the floor, straight to him. "You." She spoke quietly, her eyes not diverting. "We were talking about you."

"About me?"

"Yes I…"

He waited. "You what?"

"I was telling Emily that I knew she lied about you not being Charlie's father as Charlie walked in." She rushed it out.

"What?!"

"I'm sorry." If Emily didn't want to hear it, at least she could apologize to him.

And he thought the biggest issue of the weekend he was going to be dealing with was trying to understand the mystery that was Emily. Obviously, the universe had other plans for him. He was happy the secret was out, at least to Charlie, but the way it happened wasn't great. Sure, even planning it might not have been perfect, but sitting down and having a conversation would've been a whole lot better than being bombarded by truth from a third party source. Life was so crazy… He just needed to know how his daughter was doing. "How was Charlie?" There was no point in denying it to her.

"She was… upset." Understandably?

"Upset how?"

"I don't think she understands. She kept saying I was lying." Which they both knew she wasn't.

"I'm going… I'm going to go see what I can do. Maybe I can help them, but… Please JJ. Jack doesn't know yet." Neither did the team.

"I get it. My lips are sealed." She answered before he needed to ask. She didn't want to be the messenger again; didn't even want to be one in the first place. "Go, they probably went up to the room. I'll tell everyone that Emily's tired or… or something. I don't know. I'll make it believable. Just…" She paused. "Just make sure she knows I'm sorry. I didn't…"

"I know JJ, and she does too." He gave her one last look before he set off to find the brewing storm. He was excited, no doubt, that she knew, but he knew there was a better time and place and way for Charlie to learn the truth.

Meanwhile, Emily chased Charlie up to the room. When she walked in, Charlie was sitting on the bed holding Jazz tight to her body and sniffling away the tears. "Can mommy come in?" Emily asked from the doorway. Charlie nodded, further pushing the monkey into her body. "Talk to me baby. Tell me what you're feeling."

"I want to go home."

"I don't know Charlie. I think maybe we should stay here and talk about what happened."

"But I want to go home." She insisted.

"Why?" Charlie continued to sniffle as Emily moved to wipe away the tears that were falling down the rosy cheeks.

"You and JJ are lying. I know you are and you're not saying sorry."

"Charlotte, look at mommy."

"No."

"Please." She hesitantly moved her eyes toward Emily. "I know you think we're lying to you and I can see why, but we're not."

"Yes you are!"

"No baby, we're not. Aaron is your dad."

"No he's not."

"Yes. I know it's confusing, but he is your dad."

"Can we go home?" She was quick to ask again. She didn't want to talk and she didn't want to hear what she thought were lies from people she trusted.

Before Emily could answer, there was a soft knock of the door. Hotch was there. When he showed up there, he saw them sitting on the bed together both of them looking so sad. He didn't want that for them. "Can I come in?"

"No!" Charlie yelled.

"Don't be rude Charlotte. Come in Aaron."

"Hi Charlie." He approached them tenuously, unsure how she was going to react. The way she did stung him.

Charlie looked away from him and directly at Emily. "What is _he_ doing here?" She hissed. "I don't want _him_ here."

"Charlie, that's not nice. Say you're sorry."

"Mother please." Mother… Oh no, no, no, no… That was what she called her own mother. It was less personal than mom or mommy and not something she ever wanted to hear her daughter call her. It never felt so cold. Damn it, she was going to have to start being nicer to her mother if only to make her feel better about that very moment. "Can we go home?" Was mother what she was going to use as a tell? Was that what she'd be called whenever Charlie was upset with her? She didn't like it; not at all.

"Charlie…" Hotch was going to try. He had to. "I hear you got some interesting news today." That was one way to put it. She didn't take too kindly to his joke either. She just said nothing, still refusing to look at him. "You're probably a little confused. Huh?" She still said nothing as Emily tried to offer whatever comfort she could. Truth was there wasn't much she could give that would help. "Can I tell you something?" All he wanted was some sort of response. He should've thought before he wished. "I'm a little confused too." Emily continued to watch the very one sided interaction with a heavy heart. This wasn't what she wanted for them. "See, there's this really great little girl and she's my daughter. And she's so amazing, but she's sad. And I don't know how to help her. Do you know how I can make her happy?" She sat there quietly. "It's ok. You don't have to answer right now. I know this is a lot of information for such a little girl. But I want you to know that I'm so excited and so happy to be your daddy." And that finally got him the response he was waiting for from her. It just wasn't the one he was hoping for.

Her eyes hardened as she looked at him and practically yelled, "I don't want you to be my daddy!" She turned from him to face her mother. "I don't want him to be my daddy. I want Clyde to be my daddy. Or Derek. Can't they be my daddy?" It was a desperate plea from someone who didn't know any better but it was just as sad.

"Charlie, we don't get to pick who our parents are." Emily tried to explain. Though she was grateful he decided to come up there and check on them or help or whatever, she suddenly wished Aaron wasn't there. He didn't deserve this and neither did their daughter.

"Yeah we can. Ask them. Clyde and Derek love me. They'll want to be my dad."

"You're right Charlie." A slightly audible "what" was heard coming from Aaron, but they paid no mind to the extra person in the room. "Clyde and Derek both love you so very much…" There was no time for her to add the looming but.

"So ask them to be my dad. They'll say yes!" She assured her.

"I know it's hard to understand Charlie, but Aaron is your dad and he loves you very much too."

"No! I hate him! I hate him mommy. Please don't make him be my daddy." And the tears were rolling again. Her emotions, all of theirs really, were on max setting.

"Charlotte, we do not hate anything." Emily scolded. The crushed look on Aaron's face made her stone façade fall. "I know you didn't mean that. Please apologize Charlie Bear."

"No! I hate him. I don't want that man to be my dad." Emily never saw her so angry. While she was a ball of emotion and more extroverted than Emily had ever been, she had never been like that before. She didn't know how to take it.

"Charlotte Emily Prentiss, that is uncalled for and incredibly rude. Apologize right now!" She never really had to yell at her either. This wasn't good.

"No! I want to go home! I want to leave and be away from that man." She jumped off the bed, still grabbing her stuffed animal, and stood firm. "Please mommy. I want to go home." She begged.

"Not until you behave. I know you're upset, but this is not you." Emily got down on her knees in front of Charlie and took her daughter's hands in her own. "He is your dad Charlie and maybe you don't understand what that means, but he loves you just like I love you."

"Can we go home?" She asked again, her big eyes pleading in ways stronger than any words.

"Yes, we can go home. Please go get your stuff. Ok? I'm going to go talk with Aaron for a minute."

"Fine. You go talk to that man. I have things to do." Charlie said as she forced them out of the room and stomped her little feet against the floor to make her anger known. It wasn't Charlie. It wasn't her little girl doing that.

Emily stood out in the hall, Aaron across from her, with one arm wrapped around her chest and the other pinching at her nose. She had to keep reminding herself to breathe; in and out. She was a capable woman more than able to handle the situation. Right? She was, but in that moment with him there looking to her for some sort of answer or direction when she had none, she was starting to question that. Her mouth opened and closed as she searched for the right words, but nothing ever came. All that passed her lips was the telltale sigh. "I'm having a bad day."

"No kidding." Helpful… "I'm sorry." He was having a bad day too. Not only did he delve a little deeper into Emily's psyche and see some of the scars, both emotional and physical, that he missed along the way, but his daughter, well, she didn't seem too happy with the situation.

"Not your fault." She stated.

"Want to talk about it?"

"I think we have to. Don't you?"

"Yes, we have to talk about it. But I'm asking if you want to talk about everything else. You had to talk about things today that… that you shouldn't have had to deal with. I'm here for you. You know?"

"I know. But I can only deal with one thing at a time right now, and she's more important than my current mental state."

"Yeah…" A silence took over. Neither knew how to approach the situation. They had a plan. They started making one. They were going to sit her down and explain to her, as best they could, that he wasn't just mom's coworker or her friend, but her dad and then they were going to tell her what that meant. They were going to listen to her questions and answer them to the best of their ability. They were going to do it as gently and functionally as they could. They were going to do it right.

They weren't expecting this. They didn't plan on this. And this was not how they wanted it to go.

But they were dealt the cards and folding wasn't an option. So they had to bluff their way through it or hope to hell that the flop was good to them. Though, in their experience, it rarely was and Emily knew her cards. She was a shark at the poker table and things weren't looking good. They'd have to make due. It wasn't like they could just trade them in for a better hand.

"How are you?" Emily asked tentatively. That, in there, it was hard for her. And she saw his face. It was hard for him too.

"I'm having a bad day too."

"You have to be a little excited though, right? I mean, this is what we wanted. She knows." She sounded a little delusional, even to herself.

"She called me 'that man' and 'him.' I didn't expect dad, but she wouldn't even say my name." She stripped him of any title; completely void of any name or meaning. He was simply that guy, that man… Him. He was reduced to nothing. He would've taken going back to sir or Mr. Hotchner if he had to. But she went lower than that. She made him a stranger.

"Yeah…" Tough… It was tough to watch, tougher to hear she assumed.

"She asked for _Clyde_ or _Derek_ to be her father instead of me." Every time he looked at his coworker from that point on, he was going to know that his daughter would rather have been a Morgan than a Hotchner. He was broken, or at least he felt it. And there was definitely no love lost between him and Clyde. He couldn't imagine them being anything more than acquaintances and he'd only be that to please the women of his life.

"There was that."

"She said she hated me." As if he needed to add insult to misery… The only thing that could've made that feeling worse was if Jack shared the same sentiment when he learned the truth. He had to tell Jack…

"I know." She said sadly. She didn't want things to go like that anymore than she did. It was her fault. She knew that. Her actions led them there. But they were finally making real, turn of the corner, progress on the Charlie front and then that happened… It felt like a setback. The personal things, she could put aside. So, he didn't feel the same way about her that she did him. She could convince herself that she had no feelings for him and she might even believe it. She could push that aside and hope it didn't make things awkward. But she couldn't control Charlie's feelings. As a little girl, she was going to feel however she felt. And it might be a short, yet powerful burst of anger, or she could hold a grudge for a long time. They couldn't really control that. They could try to change it and they could try to get her to see reason, but she was still a kid. She was a kid that, though not as often, could throw a tantrum just as well as the next one. "She didn't mean it. She doesn't know what she means."

"Do you think she'll ever accept me?"

"Give her time." She timidly approached him. "I'm going to hug you. Don't read too much into it. Ok?" She didn't want him to think she was going in to cop a feel or anything. He was _seeing someone_, and that would've been inappropriate.

"Emily…" He didn't want her to think anything between them had to change. There was no chance to explain anything or say anything after he told her about Beth, but they were still friends. He didn't want that to change. There'd be a little less late night rendezvous, but they were still parents together.

"Ok?"

"Ok." He just agreed. She really didn't need to warn him or ask permission to hug him.

"I'm sorry." She whispered into his ear as she held on tight.

"Me too." He responded. Releasing her, he asked, "So, what happens now? What comes next?"

"Honestly… I have no clue. I'm going to take her home."

"That's probably for the best."

"I think so. But we have to figure out what to do with her and what to say to everyone." He hadn't even thought of that. What did they tell the rest of them was happening? "And we have to figure out what we want to do with her." Her mind kept going. "And you have to talk with Jack… Jack? He didn't hear anything right? We were loud, but it was just bad timing that Charlie heard right?"

"Jack doesn't know, but I'd like to tell him as soon as possible. Today if I can."

"Right. Good. You should." She seemed a bit dazed and he didn't blame her. He was feeling it a bit himself. "Tell him… We can… I don't know. I didn't want it to be like this."

"Hey." Seeing her so emotional was making him more so and he didn't want to let it show. "He didn't hear anything. No one else did. So we don't have to worry about that yet." His heart was breaking and he knew she'd think it was her fault. He didn't want that. "We'll… We'll figure this out. We're good at that."

"I'm supposed to be the one telling you that."

"It's time I tell you that."

"If you… If you want, why don't you try to come over tomorrow? I'm going to try talking to her and I'm hoping this anger won't last long. We can try talking with her together and see how things go."

"I think I'm going to try and sneak out of here too so I can have that talk with Jack. Maybe, if things go well, I can bring him to Charlie's soccer game after his and we can try to get them together too. It could help things."

"Yeah, ok."

"I think JJ's coming up with some excuse for why we're up here. So, if you want to sneak out, I'll just go along with whatever she said and you should be ok." All he wanted was for the clock to turn back. It used to be that all he wanted was for Charlie to know, but he'd take it back. If she had to find out like that, he would've waited. He would've… He didn't know. He just didn't want the sadness he was feeling to overcome him. Charlie was always so sweet and lovable, and she still was. But she was also angry and, like with her mother, that was a fierce storm to be up against.

"I really am sorry this is happening like this."

"I know you are. Neither of us was ready for it to happen like this. Too little too late I guess."

"I should…" She motioned for the room she needed to return to. She didn't want Charlie to storm out there and create a scene; something she was totally capable of at that moment.

"You should." Right… But he didn't want to let her go; either of them. He wanted to be with her and their daughter to work through things right away and he wanted to take them and Jack out and celebrate the birth of a new family rather than mourn the death of the old. Maybe that was hoping for too much too soon.

"Mommy, I'm ready. Let's go!" Charlie came out of the room like a girl on a mission, her rolling bag in one hand and stuffed animal in the other as she brushed passed them.

"Charlie! Wait for mommy." But she didn't. She was marching her little butt right out of that mansion no matter what and no waiting for anyone. She wanted out of there. "She's not usually like this." She had the need to let him know that so he knew she wasn't a total failure as a mother even if she felt like that sometimes. "She's never really like this."

"I know." He assured her with a hand on her shoulder. "You better go catch up with her."

"I have to get my things." She was torn. She knew Charlie couldn't get any further than the car without her, but she still wanted to be with her. She also couldn't just leave her things there.

"Go, take care of her. I'll make sure you get everything you've left behind."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, go."

"Ok." She nodded but had yet to move. She was forgetting something, probably more than one thing. "My purse. I need my purse." The keys were in there. She needed those. Was she always that scatterbrained? "I need my keys which are in my purse…"

"Emily, breathe. Where's your purse?" He knew she just wanted to get to Charlie. They both wanted that. And they both wanted that to happen before Charlie passed by any of the other houseguests and told them something they weren't quite ready to share with the rest of the world yet.

"Um… It's in the room. I think…" Was it? Or was it downstairs with everyone?

"Let's go get it and I'll walk you down." How was he so calm when she was freaking out? Wasn't it supposed to be the other way around? What was wrong with her? She never lost it quite like that.

"Ok." She had to hurry. Charlie didn't need to be left unattended in Rossi's museum of expensive, mostly imported Italian, things. Her hospital bills did enough damage to her savings. She didn't need to owe her coworker for destroyed property.

It was an easy find, right where she left it on the chestnut desk, right next to the lamp. He quickly handed it to her and helped usher her toward the entrance. Charlie was pacing around the foyer with her hands crossed over her chest, occasionally kicking the wheels on her bag as they stood at the other end of the long hall and watched. She obviously wasn't happy. Did they expect her to be?

Charlie caught them watching and immediately stopped. "Mommy! What took so long? It's time to go. We have to get a move on."

"Well, she's demanding today." Emily mumbled unhappily. It was, most definitely, not the reaction she was hoping for. "I guess we better go before she alerts everyone to our hasty exit and questions are asked."

"Mommy!"

"Bye Aaron. See you tomorrow?"

"Count on it." He said. As worried as he was, he was looking forward to the next day. Sleeping on it would help… He was almost sure of it. "Bye Charlie." He was attempting some normalcy… some something…

What he got, however, wasn't the same civility in return. Instead, he got the Prentiss glare and an angry little scowl. It was scary how much of himself he saw in that look. "Charlie don't be rude. Be polite and say goodbye."

"No."

"Please, for mommy." She was very aware that she was begging her five year old for a little comfort. All she wanted was one kind thing to come out of the girl's mouth directed to her father even if it was just goodbye said without the animosity that seemed to take over her tone.

"Bye." She spat as she stomped out the door. Emily was not looking forward to any of what came next. Apparently, a kind goodbye was too much to hope for so soon.

"It'll pass." Emily said, though she was unsure who she was trying to convince; him or her.

"I'm sure it will…" He agreed, but he too was unsure.

"See you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow." He said in parting. "Hey Em…"

"Yeah?"

"Give her an extra hug for me tonight. Ok?"

"Sure Aaron, a big one." It was the least she could do. She gave him a wave as she headed out. Charlie was already by the car waiting to be taken home. Honestly, Emily had to admit that she was happy to be out of there too. Though she knew she wasn't going into much easier territory with Charlie, it kind of felt like she could breathe again; like she wasn't suffocating in a sea of her own past. But, she'd probably feel that way when Charlie started asking questions. It would come, she knew, she just didn't know when.

Elsewhere, JJ fielded the first round of questions in the mansion. While Emily took care of Charlie and Hotch took care of her, she was left to give them their alibi. It was all so convoluted. She understood it. They had to deal with it themselves before others got involved, but that didn't mean the lying or misdirection was any fun for her. So, after a moment to pull herself together and understand the magnitude of what went down, JJ went to face the firing squad.

"Are you ok? We heard yelling. Where's boss man?" Garcia was quick to question the other blonde. "Where's the Emster and Jujube?"

"Um…" She thought of several different things she could say, she just didn't know which to use. "Emily and I were arguing." Truth… "I was upset that she didn't tell me… so much…" Another truth; there was the brand and Hotch and so, so many more things.

"Well we all are Hon. Is that what we heard?" She asked concerned, the rest of the group listening in.

"Yes." JJ was quick to reply. Everything she was saying was truth, but the more she said, the less she could be mad at her friend. She could've told the truth, but out of respect for her friend, she didn't. Wasn't that what Emily was trying to do, at least a little, for Hotch? Emily needed someone to talk to and she went to JJ, but some of the things she said didn't exactly paint him in a good light. So, to protect his image and his reputation, she left out certain things. "But then Charlie walked in and got upset. She ran off and Emily went after her."

"So where did Hotch disappear to?"

"You know… Emily's arm is still healing and she can't lift Charlie so he went to help her out if she needed it."

"Why didn't you?" What was it, an interrogation?

"Hotch had a few things he wanted to talk to her about too, so he offered to help." Again, it wasn't a lie. Was what she was feeling the same thing Emily felt every time she fudged the truth just enough to make it what she needed it to be? Was that vagueness always accompanied by that hollow feeling she didn't wish to know again?

"Ok."

"Mama!" Henry yelled from across the yard the moment he spotted her, subsequently running toward her.

"Hey my big boy." JJ took him in for a hug. "Did you have fun with daddy and your friends?"

"We went to the park mama."

"I know. I bet that was so much fun. And look at you, you managed to keep your clothes clean this time."

"Where's Charlie? She was supposed to play with me and Jack after she saw Emily."

"Charlie had to go home." Hotch answered as he walked out onto the patio.

"Is everything alright Aaron? Are they ok?" Rossi asked, his voice laden with worry.

"Yeah… Yes. Everything is fine. Emily and Charlie just need some time alone with each other to work through some things." He explained as honestly as he could. "Actually Dave. I know it was supposed to be a weekend thing, but I think we accomplished all we're going to with Emily gone, so Jack and I are going to head out too."

"We are?" Jack questioned. "What are we going to do?"

"I don't know yet Jack. We'll figure something out. Go up to the room buddy, and get your things together. Make sure Dave's house is just the way it was when we came in." He turned back to the group as Jack left. "I don't want to ruin the rest of the weekend. You guys do whatever you'd like, but I think this is for the best. Jack and I need a little father and son time." He knew Jack would approve of that. He loved spending time with his dad. "Emily sends her regards. She apologizes for the quiet exit, but she just wanted to get Charlie home."

"Are you sure everything's alright?" Rossi had to ask. They were all wondering it anyway.

"I assure you, things are fine. It was an emotional day and that little quarrel with JJ just pushed her over the edge a bit. I think Charlie picked up on that and needed to get away from here." He wanted them to accept that, for it was the truth. "We accomplished what we came here for. We got what we needed to off of our chests. I think we'll be ok." They all felt that too. They just didn't know the rest of the truth yet. Would that change their minds? "I think we'll be stronger."

"Ok. You and Jack have a good time. I'll call Emily later to check on her." Rossi pardoned him for his need to leave. He didn't feel the need to voice it or lead on that he knew anything at all, but he knew there was more to the story. He knew there was so much more to the saga that was Emily and Aaron; more than they probably realized themselves and definitely more than he would've guessed.

A few more words were exchanged before he went to help Jack get their things together and then sort through Emily's as well. The Hotchner men said goodbye to their friends, Hotch spending a few extra seconds with JJ as a way of saying both "thank you" and "we'll talk more later." However, he did wish there was a way to not so openly say that things would work out between her and Emily. What happened was done and though emotions were high and Charlie wasn't handling it very well, things would be ok. He hoped. It was only the beginning.

"Ready to go Bud?" Hotch asked as he ruffled his son's hair.

"Ready dad."

"Let's get home then." Hotch smiled as he watched his son's dimples appear. He had to wonder if those would still make an appearance a few hours from then when he was being told about his sister. Or would he be like Charlie? Would he be angry? Upset? Happy even? Would he truly be able to understand?

All he knew for sure was that there were only a few more hours ahead of them that would be the same. Jack would only know himself as his father's only child for a short while longer. And Hotch wanted it to end on a happy note. So, before anything else, he wanted to have some father son time away from the drama and free of the news because, if he didn't take it well, at least they'd have a final good memory before the tornado.

"Where are we going dad? You don't live here." Observant little boy he was.

"I know Jack. We're not going home yet."

"We're not?"

"Nope." As they stopped at the red light, he took his eyes off the road and looked to his son. "Remember you told me you wanted to try playing real baseball?"

"Yes." He nodded excitedly. Jack also happened to say that he wanted to learn to shoot guns like his daddy, but Hotch figured that was something he'd have to learn at an older age, and even then, it would be a paintball gun with a ton of protective gear. "Are you going to teach me?"

"Do you want me to teach you?" Obviously, he knew the answer. Jack had been hinting at learning for a while. It was something he always wanted to do with him too. It was one of the few good memories he had with his own father and brother and it was something he always wanted to pass onto Jack, but until recently, he hadn't shown much interest. As soon as he did, though, Aaron wanted nothing more than to teach him to play. And even though it was an impromptu decision, it would've happened eventually.

"Please daddy!"

"Well, we can't get out on the field today because I don't have everything we need. We'll have to go to the store to pick up a glove that fits your hand…"

"Can I get my own bat too?"

"You can pick out a bat too."

"Awesome!"

"For now, I thought I could teach you how to use the bat and hit the ball."

"How are you going to do that if you don't have a bat?"

"You want to go to the batting cages Jack?"

"Now?!"

"Yes, now." Hearing the exuberance in his voice made Aaron just as giddy. He couldn't control it. God, he just hoped it lasted.

"That's so cool! Are we almost there?"

"Ten minutes Jack. We'll be there soon."

The young boy sat happily back into his seat with his pearly whites on display and a satisfied expression on his face. He was excited. They both were. He didn't know things were going to change for him and his family in the very near future, but at the moment it didn't matter. All he saw was the idea of an awesome afternoon with his dad and finally getting to play real baseball; not catch or whatever with a wiffle ball, but the real thing and with his dad to boot. So yeah, he was looking forward to it. The rest of it could wait.

"Is this it?" He asked Aaron as they pulled into a parking lot that surrounded a large building and a large caged area.

"Yeah. See right over there, that's where we're going to go."

"We're going into cages… Like animals?" He asked curiously, following his dad out of the car.

"No Jack. Those are batting cages. It's so people can practice their swings without worrying about where the ball goes or accidentally hurting someone else."

"Ok… Cool."

Aaron paid for the afternoon and got them fitted for the helmets they needed. Jack picked out the red bat. "Red's my new favorite. It used to be blue, but I like red now." He told him.

"Ok." was Hotch's response. He liked red too. So he picked out a similar bat and got them settled in the cages. First up was the stance. He showed Jack the proper position and then helped him get it right. "Elbows up. Just like that." Of course, it wasn't that easy. He had to do everything backwards knowing Jack was a righty where he was a lefty.

"Like this?" Jack asked as he threw a practice swing.

"Good job! That's perfect Jack." He was a proud papa bear. "I think you're ready for the pitch. What do you say?"

"I'm ready!"

The two looked like the adorable pair they were, with their blue protective helmets on and bats in hand. "Ok Jack, I'm going to hit this button and then the ball is going to come at you. Just hit it like we practiced."

"Ok." Hotch made sure Jack was in the right spot before turning the machine to the slow pitch and turning it on. The first one didn't go so well. Jack wasn't really expecting the ball to be shot at him quite like it was and he jumped away. Hotch did the dad thing, assured him all was going to be ok, and then stood behind him to help him with the first hit. And when they did it, when Jack hit the next pitch, he couldn't contain the happiness.

Jack cheered, "I did it! I did it!"

"You did." Hotch cheered right along with him. "Want to try without me now?" He nodded. "Ok. Get ready."

Jack hit it all by himself and he was struck with accomplishment. He was so proud of himself and Hotch was proud too. They spent a few hours there. More hits were made, even a few possible homeruns. And there were misses too. But, overall, it was a good afternoon. It was just the afternoon Hotch was looking to have with his son. They finished the boys day out with a hot dog dinner and chocolate milkshakes with extra whipped cream.

"Thanks for taking me to play daddy. I'm good at it, just like you." He said in between gulps of his shake with so much self-confidence in each word. "It was so much fun. Maybe next time Henry could come or Tyler."

"What about…" Careful, he told himself, careful… "What if we brought Charlie one day? The three of us can come and you can teach her how to hold the bat just like I taught you. And you can help her if she's scared of the balls coming at her like you were."

"I wasn't scared!" He got defensive, but quickly relaxed. "Besides, why would she want to go? Does she like baseball?"

"We'd have to find out."

"Why do you always want her to come too?" There was no ounce of jealousy or disdain in his voice, but Hotch couldn't help feeling his stomach drop.

"I want you and her to be good friends."

"Why?" Kids and their quests for understanding why…

"Because she's important to me." And he hoped, to him too.

"Why?"

"Jack…" He admonished. Normally he was all for the whys. He never minded them so much, but he outgrew that phase some time ago and he didn't want to answer all the whys while trying to avoid telling him. "Do you not… Do you not like her?" He couldn't handle it if he got the answer he feared.

"No."

"No you don't like her?" Heartbroken…

"No I do, but you always talk about her. She's my friend. Is she your friend too?"

"Yes Jack. Charlie is my friend and so is Emily."

"I like Emily too." He insisted. "Sometimes it just has to be us guys, dad."

"Ok son, just us guys…" He laughed.

"I have to go to the bathroom."

"Ok buddy. You know where it is. Don't take too long. I'll be waiting right here. And remember to wash your hands."

"I know dad." Jack said as he made the short trip to the bathroom, always in Hotch's line of sight.

Though he didn't want to miss a second with his son, Hotch was happy for the break. He was asking questions Hotch didn't know how to answer and, he took the moment alone to make a call he needed to make. "Aaron? I wasn't expecting to hear from you until later. Is everything alright? Do you have to work?"

"I don't have to work. Everything's fine Haley. Well, it's not. It is but it's not."

"What's going on?"

"Would it be possible for you to meet Jack and me at my apartment in a half an hour?"

"Aren't you still at the team building weekend or whatever it was called?"

"No. No, we ducked out early."

"Are you home then?"

"I took Jack to the batting cages."

"He was saying he wanted to play with you."

"I know." Hotch felt the need to let her know that. He listened too. He wasn't always there, like she liked to point out, but he still knew his son. He was aware that Haley wasn't actually accusing him of anything. "And he did really well out there. We might be going to little league games instead of soccer next year."

"You wouldn't mind that, would you?"

"No, but whatever he wants, I'll be there for." He sighed. "So, do you think you could meet us as the apartment?"

"Are you going to tell me what's going on?"

"Charlie knows…"

"She does?!" She sounded shocked. "That's great!"

"Yeah…"

"Isn't it?" She questioned. Divorced or not, she could still read him. "It's not?"

"The way she found out… It's not really going well, but she knows and I have plans to talk with her tomorrow. Now I just need to tell Jack."

"Is that why you want me to come over?"

"I tried to bring it up before…"

"And?"

"I don't know Haley. He only knows how to be an only child… Can you help me with this? I don't know how to bring it up and I don't know how to handle things if he reacts like she did… Please Haley." He was begging and he was ashamed, but he didn't care. He was terrified of his son's reaction. All along, he was more worried about how Jack would react than how Charlie would. And since she didn't react well at all, he didn't hold high hopes that everything would work out with him.

"I offered to help when the time came Aaron. I meant that. And that time is now. We're still parents together no matter what. I have something I need to finish up. I can be there in an hour."

"Really?" It didn't surprise him at all.

"I'll be there. It should give you enough time to get home and get him cleaned up."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Bye Aaron."

"Hey Haley."

"Yeah?"

"Thanks again."

"I'll see you soon Aaron." She said as she hung up. And it was just in time because Jack was back and Aaron was as ready to face the music as he'd ever be. "Did you have a good time at the batting cages?"

"I did dad. Can we get my glove soon? Tomorrow? Can we get it tomorrow after my game?" No, they had other plans.

"We'll talk about it later. Let's get home ok?"

"Alright."

They got home in one piece, but Hotch wasn't sure they'd finish the night that way. Well, he wasn't sure he'd end the night still whole; not emotionally. He was already teetering on split in two. Jack could be perfectly fine, though he was prepping for the worst. He had to pull it together. He wasn't going to lose it before it even began. When they got home, he sent Jack to wash up and change into his pajamas a little early. Maybe, he figured, if he was already dressed for bed when they had their conversation, he'd be less likely to try and leave with Haley later… His reasoning was pathetic.

"Dad, what are we going to do now? Can we play a game?"

"Um…" He looked to his watch. Haley would be there any minute. "A little later buddy. Why don't go make sure you have everything ready for your game tomorrow and then we can figure out what to do for the rest of the night?" It would buy him some time until his mom arrived.

"Ok."

Jack was gone not five minutes when the doorbell rang and Hotch went to greet her. "Thanks again for coming over. I know it's getting late, but I think this needs to be done tonight."

"I agree Aaron. Of course. Where's Jack?"

"He's in his room. He should be back shortly." He escorted her deeper into the apartment.

"Do you want to give me the short version of what happened with Charlie?" He did. He gave her the abbreviated run down of events as best he could recall. Even though it just happened, he had been trying to push it away to just be with his son without that burden of sadness he was carrying and that made it all seem so far away; so distant and so fuzzy. But it was very real and that was finally starting to set in.

"I'm sorry."

"I don't know what was worse, her calling me him and that man, her asking for someone else to be her dad, or hearing her say she hates me."

"I'm sure it all hurts." She comfortingly placed her hand on his. "But, hopefully, she'll realize she's getting a great dad and soon, none of this will matter."

"That'd be nice."

"Mom?" Jack immediately asked upon his return. The timing was questionable and his appearance caught them by surprise.

"Ready?" Haley asked as Aaron as they sat a little straighter.

"What are you doing here? Does this mean I have to go home? Did work call dad? Are you going to miss my game?" He rapidly asked his questions.

"Come sit down Jack." Hotch directed politely.

"But dad…"

"I don't have to go to work," he started to explain and hopefully ease the boy, "and as long as nothing changes, I will be coaching your game tomorrow. Your mother's here because we have something we want to talk to you about."

"You do? Both of you?"

"Yes Jack, so please come sit down with your dad and me." Haley took the lead.

He did as asked and took a seat, but he didn't know what was going on. His face wrinkled in question. "Am I in trouble? I didn't do anything wrong. I really didn't mean to trip Henry when we were at the park. I apologized. I promise I did."

"You're not in trouble."

"But we are happy to hear that you didn't do that on purpose and you did say you were sorry."

"I did!" He was quick to say. "Well, if I'm not in trouble, then why's mom here?"

"Is she ok? Are you ok mom?"

"Oh Jack." The parents couldn't help but see how much he took after both of them. "Everybody's fine. I'm fine Bud, I promise. We just want to talk to you about something."

"It must be important. Mom never comes over here." He stated.

"Yes Jack, it is important." Aaron told him.

"What is it dad?" He sounded worried, but hopeful too. Maybe they were together again or… or maybe they'd all live in the same house again. He didn't know and he didn't realize that wasn't a feasible dream.

"Jack um…" He wasn't usually much of a stutterer. "I… I… Remember when…"

Haley, pitying Aaron's current state, took over. "Remember when dad asked you how you felt about having a sibling?" As they waited for Jack's response, they were all too aware that the conversation had officially begun. But it seemed to be the only productive conversation being had that day.

When Emily and Charlie arrived back at casa Prentiss, neither had spoken. There was the brief exchange as they got into the car. Emily simply told her daughter to buckle up and made sure it actually happened, but otherwise, nothing; not even the customary radio station chat they almost always had. Charlie just sat in the back strapped into her booster seat and stared out into the distance much like her mother did many a time before. Emily took every opportunity to glance back at her daughter through the rearview mirror, but was reluctant to say anything. Even if it was killing her to remain silent, she knew the girl had to stew a little. That was what they did. Sometimes, they just had to let the news sit a little and really sink in.

"We're home." Emily stated cautiously as she finished parking the car. "Do you need help getting out?"

"No." There was no anger in her voice or any emotion really. That scared Emily. She just wanted things to be alright. What mother didn't?

"Ok." Emily just kept an eye on her as she grabbed Charlie's things and what little of her own stuff she brought with her. She followed the girl onto the porch as she patiently and very quietly waited for her mother to open the door.

Still as polite as ever, she said thank you as Emily held the door open for her and even did what she was always told to do and took off her dirty shoes before heading onto any carpeted surface. But she wasn't herself. She had way too much on her five year old mine to be anything close to the exuberant child she normally was. Emily allowed it. Time, she figured, would help. But she wasn't sure of that. She wasn't sure of much other than she didn't like it at all.

Charlie went straight into the living room, Emily following just behind. They both sat on the couch on opposite ends in silence. Her little mind was working overtime and Emily could see that on her face. As fascinating as it was to watch, it was just as equally painful to witness. She didn't turn on the TV or play with any of her toys; she just sat there and fiddled with the necklace around her neck.

Emily let it go on for a good hour before she decided enough was enough. The two of them couldn't waste away on the sofa because their minds were too full and they weren't talking about it. So, Emily tried to reach her daughter. "Charlie, baby… Charlie?" It took a while but her doe eyes finally found her mother as she was pulled from her daze. "Will you talk to me Charlie Bear?" She just shrugged. She didn't know what she was thinking. She didn't know what any of it really meant and she wasn't sure what to ask either. "Please? Tell mommy what's going on in that pretty little head of yours."

"I don't know." She said quietly. And she didn't know. She didn't understand any of it really.

"Are you sad?" Emily questioned.

"I don't know." Charlie repeated.

"You don't know what you're feeling?"

"No." She said almost stubbornly. So much like her father, Emily thought.

"Do you want to talk to me?"

"No."

"You don't?" She was hurt.

She shook her head and turned to her mother once more. "Mommy?"

"What is it Charlie?"

"I'm tired."

"You're tired?" It was still early. She never liked naps. "Are you feeling sick baby?"

"I'm just tired. Can I go to my room?" Emily didn't want to say yes. She wanted them to talk and she wanted to answer any questions and she wanted to help her understand what she could. But no, that wasn't really an option. When she talked to Claire, she was told to push, but not too far. She had to be the judge of what too far was. There were certain things and certain times where she was going to have to put her foot down. That wasn't one of them.

"Yes, you can go to your room. Please take your bag with you and I'll be up in a little while to go through it with you."

"Ok." Charlie said as she left the room, shoulders slumped and thinking face still on. All Emily wanted to do was hold her in her arms and hug it better. If only it was that easy. She was really hoping Hotch was having better luck talking with Jack. They needed something to go well.

That had yet to be determined though. Haley and Aaron were waiting for Jack to give any response, but truth was, he just looked a little confused. "Do you remember that Jack?"

"Yeah. Dad asked me about having a sister and then I asked if you were having a baby together. But he said you weren't. Are you now?"

"No Jack, I'm not having a baby." Haley explained.

"Then why are you guys asking again?"

"Well…" Now or never… Now or never… "I'm bringing this up again because… because you do have a sister."

"I do?" He asked confused.

"Yes."

"Daddy had a baby?" He asked his mother, still as confused as ever.

"He did." She stated.

"By himself?"

"Well… no."

"With you?"

"No." She answered once more.

"No Jack." He sighed. How did he explain to his son that his parents decided to take a break from each other when he was just a toddler and that led to a liaison with someone close to both of them that then led to a baby he met years later? Was there a way to simplify that so it made sense? "I had a baby, but it was not with your mother and it was not by myself."

"Then how? You said there has to be a mommy to have a baby. So where's the baby's mommy? And where's the baby?" And the hard questions began.

"You can do this Aaron." Haley encouraged him. "Just tell him the truth."

He nodded before bringing all his attention back to Jack. "She's not a baby Jack." Hotch felt like they were taking an agonizingly slow route to ripping off the band-aid.

"She's not? Then what is she?"

"I know it's confusing Jack, but she's only a little younger than you."

"How old is she then? Because I'm eight."

"You are. And she's five."

"She's old." Jack said.

"She's not old. She's just not a baby."

"But where is she and where's her mom?"

"Uh…" He cleared his throat, taking a quick glance at Haley. "You know her Jack."

"I do?"

"Yes. Her mommy's Emily." They waited for the pieces to connect in Jack's head, but sometimes, they didn't quite make sense in their own. Still, they gave him a second to make an attempt at it.

"You and Emily have a baby?"

"We do."

"Where is she?"

"What your dad's been trying to say is that Charlie's his daughter. Charlie is his baby with Emily."

"Really?" His face scrunched as he let it play in his head. His dad and Emily?

"Do you understand what that means Jack?"

"Yeah." He said, everything clicking in his mind. "Charlie's my sister…" It was still a little confusing, but he understood that much. He was a brother and he had a sister.

"That's right." Haley responded.

"And how do you feel about that?"

"Ok." Jack stated nonchalantly, like the news didn't affect him all that much.

"Ok?" And he was worried more about Jack's reaction… He was a little too easy going. Things couldn't go that well right?

"Yup, ok."

That was all they were going to get? "What are you feeling? Happy? Sad? Mad? What?"

"I don't know." He answered. "It's cool I guess."

"You do understand what this means don't you?"

"Yes daddy. It means Charlie's my sister. I'm a smart boy dad."

"You're right son. You are." Neither parent would argue that. "And you're really ok with this? You're happy to have her as a sister? You think it's cool?"

"Yeah, I mean, I like her so it's ok that she's my sister. My friend has a little sister and he likes her. He says his dad told him he has to protect her when he's not around. So I'll have to protect Charlie too. I can do that."

That made Hotch happy. "That would be really great of you. You're going to make an awesome big brother."

"Having a brother sounds so much easier. Are you sure we can't make her a boy?"

"I'm very sure Jack." He laughed. "But I'm happy you're ok with this."

"I am. Charlie's cool."

"Do you have any questions for your father or me?"

"If you have any more kids, can you make them boys?"

"We don't really have a choice in that Jack, but, if that ever becomes an issue, we can certainly hope."

"Ok."

"Do you have any other questions for us?"

"I…" He did, but he wasn't sure about asking it.

"What is it Jack? You know you can ask us anything." Haley assured him.

"Charlie's not a baby." He stated plainly.

"Right." They encouraged him to go on.

"Why isn't she a baby?"

"Well, she grew up, just like you did."

"But why wasn't she here with me and you and mom when she was a baby? All my friends' brothers and sisters were babies first and Charlie's not."

"It's complicated Jack."

"That's just what you say when you don't want to tell me something. Why can't I know?"

"It's not that we don't want to tell you. It really is a complicated thing…"

"See Jack, Charlie lives with Emily." Haley tried her hand.

"I know."

"And she always lived with Emily."

"Ok." But that didn't answer the question. He knew that, or he assumed that Charlie always lived with Emily. "But why wasn't she here?"

The adults looked to each other. Neither knew how much to tell him, and Haley wasn't sure how much Aaron wanted him to be aware of. It was a delicate situation. Too much wasn't good for his little boy brain, but too little would leave him curious and asking more questions. "Let me try," He said to Haley. He had to attempt to make his son understand even if he would never fully understand himself.

"I'm here for support." Haley reminded him quietly as she gave him the go ahead.

"Alright Jack. This is a little difficult to understand, so I'm going to try and explain it as best I can. Ok?"

"I'm listening." He waited as his father looked to be battling some internal demons, though, that was not how he saw it. Aaron was just trying to figure out the right thing to say and the right way to explain things.

"When you were just a little boy, I uh… Mom and I were fighting a lot."

"Like before you got divorced?"

"Yes, like that." He looked to Haley to make sure she was comfortable with where the conversation was going. She gave him a nod and gentle shoulder tap to let him know she'd back wherever he wanted to take it, within reason of course. "We were fighting so much, but we didn't want to do that. Especially not in front of you."

"So what'd you do?"

"We took a little time out."

"From each other?"

"Yes. We wanted to be the best parents we could be for you, but we needed some time to ourselves." Even if they still lived in the same house and did all of the same things, that was what they had. They were separate, but together.

"You got divorced before?"

"No, not quite." He sighed. Never in his life did he picture this conversation happening. Sure, if Jack grew up to be as inquisitive and truth seeking as he appeared he'd be, Hotch knew there'd come a time when they, as parents, would be on the other end of an interrogation, but in that picture, Jack was a teenager who looked too deep into the family's dirty laundry for a genealogy project or something of the sort; not an 8 year old trying to understand the difference between fidelity and the breaking of vows. "But we did go through a separation. Do you remember what that means?"

"Uh huh."

"Good. So your mom and I separated, but we still lived in the same house and took care of you together."

"What about Charlie?"

"Charlie wasn't born yet."

"Why not?"

"I'm getting there Jack. Do you want me to finish?"

"Yes please."

"Ok. Emily has been a friend of daddy's for a long time."

"Longer than mom?"

"No, no, I used to work for Emily's family, but I hadn't seen her in a long time, so I was happy when I saw her." Despite all the bad at the time for both of them, their time together was good. "And we spent a lot of time together." That sounded better than a weekend together. "And that led to Charlie." That seemed like enough. It felt like enough. And at eight, they weren't going to go into the birds and the bees. He wanted to wait a few years for that one.

"That was a long time ago right?"

"Yes, you were still very little."

"And I'm big now and so is Charlie. But I'm bigger than her."

"You are." He agreed.

"But Charlie wasn't little with me."

"She was, but not here."

"But why?"

He was squirming. Haley noticed. He was sure Jack noticed too. But he couldn't help it. He didn't know how to explain it and definitely not how to explain it in a way suitable for tiny ears. "See, when Emily learned she was pregnant with Charlie, she got scared."

"She did?"

"Yeah… yeah. She was scared and nervous and when she tried to tell me, your mom and I were back together."

"You were?"

"Yes Jack. We wanted to be together so we could be the best parents we could be for you."

"Really?"

He nodded. "And when she saw us as a family, she was nervous to tell me about Charlie because she didn't want to hurt out family."

"Emily wouldn't hurt us."

"You're right. She wouldn't. But she was nervous anyway because of the baby."

"A baby wouldn't hurt us either. All they do is cry and poop. And we like Charlie. Even mom. Right mom?"

"Right Jack. Charlie is a great girl." And that's true now. At the time, however, she wasn't positive she would've been as forgiving. They got back together, yes, but they were still on shaky ground and that could've been the final crack that broke the ground they walked on.

"See dad. She didn't have to be scared. Did you tell her that?"

"No, I didn't."

"That's not nice."

"No, but I didn't see Emily. She thought it was best for us to be a family and for her and Charlie to be a family."

"Without us?"

"She wanted you to have the best life possible and she wanted Charlie to have the same."

"So she didn't like me?"

"No, no it's nothing like that. She likes you Jack. She thinks you're great, but she wanted everyone to be happy and that was the only way she thought it would happen."

"But that's silly."

"Maybe." There was more to it than that, and, maybe for the first time, he was truly starting to understand a little more about Emily's choices. "I think she was just afraid that I wouldn't want Charlie in my life so she didn't tell me for a while." That sentiment wasn't meant for Jack. It wasn't really meant for anyone but himself as things kept clicking like the final piece that made everything make sense. "But I do want her in my life." He did. He does. He always would…

"Why would Emily think that?"

"I don't know." He was quick to respond. "But we know Charlie now and that's pretty great isn't it?"

"Does that mean she's going to live with you now and you're going to be a family without me?"

"No, never. I could never be a family with anyone if you weren't part of it."

"Jack." Haley interrupted. "Your father and I both love you very much. That won't ever change."

"I know."

"Your dad's just trying to tell you that Charlie's going to be a bigger part of your life now. She's your friend, but she's also family."

"She was always family mom. Just like Henry." How did they get so lucky with him?

"That's true. But now she's going to be around more once things get settled. Are you going to be ok with that? Think you can handle sharing your dad?"

"I'm good at sharing." He said with a gentle smile. "But you're still going to be my coach and teach me baseball right?"

"Yes Jack."

"Just me and you?"

"Just us boys."

"Ok." He could live with that. "You didn't tell me if Charlie was going to live with you. Is she?"

"I don't know Jack. Sometimes, when mommy's and daddy's aren't together, all their kids don't live together, like you and Charlie." Why didn't he just use that explanation from the beginning? "So, probably not all the time like you live with mom, but maybe she'll stay over here with me on weekends like you do. I'm not sure yet."

"Will I see her more?"

"I hope so. Would you want to?"

"Sure. I think so. That's ok, right mom?"

"Yes, it's more than ok Jack. She's your sister. I want the two of you to spend as much time together as you want."

"Ok, cool." The three of them talked a little more. The adults explained a few more things as best they could, and then, they were really all talked out. They said what needed to be said. They all had a pretty good grasp on the situation. What else was there? If Jack understood everything and had no more questions, Hotch was going to call this one a win. It was going a million times better than he expected and the total opposite of the way things went with Charlie.

"Do you have any more questions Jack?" It was pathetic, but he was really hoping for a no there.

"Just one."

"Ok. What is it?"

"You said babies are made in a mom's belly when a mom and dad love each other so much that they make a baby. Does that mean you love Emily and your love made Charlie?" Leave it to Jack to really ask the hard questions.

"It's more complicated than that." Hotch tried to get away with that, but Jack was much too smart to let it slide.

"No it's not. Do you love Charlie?" He questioned his dad, Haley watching with a hint of amusement playing on her face.

"Yes, I love her just like I love you."

"Do you love Emily like you love mom?"

"Uh… Yes. Yes, I love your mother, we are friends, and we have a child together. And I love Emily the same way."

"If you love her, are you going to marry her?"

Where did kids come up with these questions? "Probably not Jack."

"Why not?"

"That's just not how it works."

"I think you should." He said nonchalantly, like it wasn't a major life decision he was weighing in on. "You smile a lot when you're with her and we always have fun with her."

"We do huh?" He nodded. "Well, I'll take that into consideration Jack, but don't count on it ok?"

"Ok dad. Just think about it."

"I will."

"Good, because I like it when you're happy." He stood from his seat and made his way to the fridge to grab a juice box. "And don't worry dad. I'll be the best big brother ever!" He sounded excited by the prospect; so jubilant and so very Jack. Hotch wasn't sure why he ever doubted that to be the case; Haley either.

"I know you will." He definitely believed that. "Hey Buddy?"

"Yeah dad?"

"Would it be ok if we went to see Charlie and Emily tomorrow after your game? We can pick up your new bat and glove next time you come over. Charlie's a little confused right now about me being her dad and I think it would be nice for us to go see her."

"Ok. I'll make her feel better. That's what brothers do." He was such a little natural.

"You're the best Jack. Why don't you say goodnight to your mother and head up to your room? We'll play a few games before it's time for bed,"

"Alright. Love you mommy." He gave her a big kiss and a hug. "Goodnight."

"Night Jack. I love you. I'll see you tomorrow night."

"Bye." He waved before running to turn on the video games.

"That went well I think."

"Because our son is… amazing."

"He is. He definitely is that."

"At least one of them took it well."

"Give her time Aaron. She didn't exactly find out in the best of ways. Let them interact a little. It could help. Having Jack around could make it easier for you and her too. So just don't force it and let nature take its course. Right now, she probably doesn't know what to think."

"You're right."

"I know."

"Thanks for coming here and doing this Haley. You didn't have to."

"Yes I did. He is my son and you are my friend. I love you both too much to let you go through this alone. And you will get through this."

"I know. Still… thank you so much."

"Goodbye Aaron." She gave him a friendly hug. "Go have fun with our son and try to get some sleep tonight."

"I will."

The rest of the night was easy. Although he was still worried about Charlie and how he was going to get through to her, Jack was ok. He underestimated his son and that was his mistake. He assumed the worst and didn't even consider another possibility. But boy was he pleasantly surprised. So, he played the games and hung out with his son because even though things had changed, they were still the same. They were still father and son, for better or for worse. That was what mattered. It was easy.

And at least it was for someone.

The same could not be said for mother and daughter. Charlie was giving Emily the cold shoulder without really meaning to. She spent the majority of the evening tucked away in her room. Even as Emily went in there to unpack the weekend's worth of clothes and take out the soccer uniform for the following day, silence reigned supreme. Every attempt at conversation as thwarted and it was breaking the older brunette more and more each time. She couldn't stand it.

Dinner was silent save for the clinking of the dinnerware and the occasional exchange of meaningless words. Who was she kidding anyway? She couldn't eat. She just watched as her daughter exhibited all of her own bad habits. The nails were slightly bitten and picked. Her food was being played with. And she was quiet. She was Emily on a bad day. And that scared her mother. But still, she allowed it, because Charlie needed to work through the first wave of emotion by herself and when she was ready to talk, Emily would be eagerly waiting.

Unfortunately, that wasn't coming fast enough for her. So as night fell upon them, Emily decided it was time to try again. "Charlie, will you please talk to me? Please tell me what you're feeling. If you're confused, that's ok. Or if you're angry at mommy, that's ok too."

"I'm not mad at you mommy." Words… lovely, lovely words…

"You're not?"

"Uh uh…"

"Then what is it baby? You can tell me anything. You know that."

"Is Aaron really my dad?"

"Yes Charlotte. He really is." She sighed. He was a great man and they both knew that. Charlie just didn't understand. "But you like him right?"

"He was my friend."

"He is still your friend. You know that right?" The girl just shrugged, her hair bouncing with the motion. "He loves you and so do I."

"I don't want to talk anymore." She said quietly. "Can you read me a story? Please."

"You know I will." At least she talked a little. Emily would take that as a good sign.

"I want that one." She pointed to a book on her nightstand.

"Ok Charlie. Get into bed and I'll be right there."

Emily quickly changed into her pajamas and joined Charlie back in her room. The girl was already in bed, Jazz snuggled up next to her, patiently waiting for her mother. With just a little bit of tucking in, Emily took a seat on the edge of the bed and began reading. The choice was an odd one. It wasn't a regular for them. In fact, it rarely left the bookshelf. Every once in a while, it would find itself in the to read pile, but it was seldom there. As Emily started reading, she realized why it was an appropriate time for the book; maybe even what Charlie was thinking of every time she read that book. Hell, maybe there was even some insight into why Clyde bought the book for her that day. It all made sense.

"And daddy said to Baby Bird, 'I'll always find you. I'll always come home to you.' Baby Bird gave Daddy Bird a big hug and Mommy, Daddy, and Baby Bird were all happy again… The End." Emily closed the book and swept the hair from her daughter's eyes. "Did you like that book?" She received a tired nod. "Good. I love you Baby Bird. Sleep tight."

"Mommy?" Charlie's had reached out from under the blanket to hold onto her mother's. "Will you cuddle with me?"

"You want to cuddle in your bed?"

"Yes."

"Ok, move over munchkin." Emily climbed into bed with her daughter, squishing onto the twin mattress as they held each other. Charlie's little hands held on for dear life even after she fell asleep. Why? Why was she holding on like that? They moved passed that. She used to do that when Emily first got hurt because she didn't want to lose her. Was that the case there? Was she afraid of that? Was she afraid having her father around meant losing her mother?

Emily didn't have the answers, but she was going to do everything in her power to make things ok for everyone involved. But, that could wait until morning. Then, all she wanted was to hold on a little longer and offer whatever comfort she could give. The next day would be difficult for all of them, she was almost certain, but there was no more running for any of them.

Come morning and nothing had changed. Charlie was still a little withdrawn, but a little more participatory. She wasn't as silent. And that was a start. She helped make breakfast. She helped set the table. So she was as close to being herself as she could be while still so utterly not. "Pancakes came out very yummy Charlie. You did a good job."

"Thank you."

"I wanted to talk to you about something Charlie Bear."

"What mommy?"

"After soccer today, Jack and Aaron are going to come over."

"I don't want _him_ to come over to my house." She stated with attitude.

"This is our house and _Aaron_, will be coming over. They want to see you play in your game. Isn't that nice?"

"No!" Maybe the quiet was better?

"Charlie, can you just tell me what you're feeling?"

"I don't want to go to soccer today." She pouted.

"You don't?"

"Nope."

"But you were so excited yesterday. You're not now?" Her head shook. "No? So you don't want to see all your friends and wear your little jersey?"

"I can still wear it. And they can come over."

"Don't you want to play with your brother?"

"My brother?" Her entire being shifted, Emily's too. Of all the things to say, that one should've been said earlier.

"Yes, you and Jack have the same daddy. That makes him your brother." With everything else going on, not once did she think to explain that before. She was so worried about making sure she was ok, that she forgot about the other important details. How did she let that escape her mind?

"But you're not his mommy."

"No, he has a different mom. Haley's his mom. But you're still his sister."

"Nuh uh."

"Yes, you are." She said with a smile. That would be something that, though might take a little getting used to, she was sure Charlie wouldn't mind. "There are so many things about all of this that I know you won't understand."

"Yes I will."

"Ok well, there's a lot _I_ don't understand then. And it's confusing, I know. But Aaron definitely is your dad and Jack is definitely your brother. They're both your family now."

"I never had a brother before."

"No, no you didn't. It's going to be fun, right?"

"I like Jack." She stated, indirectly answering the question.

"I know you do."

"Mom…" Emily waited for her to finish swirling her food around and look up. "I think I want to go to soccer."

"What changed your mind?"

"I don't want to let my team down." She said honestly, but there was a little more to it.

"Ok, finish up then we'll get ready. Alright?"

"Alright." She was actually eating after that. Things with Hotch were still unsettled, but Jack was the key. All she needed to know was how things went with him and Aaron. Did it go well? Did he understand better than Charlie did? She had to know, so she sent Hotch a text to ask him just that.

The response came fairly quickly. _Went well, talk later? _He wrote and then asked the details of Charlie's game once more. The boys were going to meet them at the field and then they'd head out together. They all needed the day to go well, but, according to Hotch, one kid was happy and Charlie seemed to warming up to the idea of an extended family, so, she had some hope. They weren't high hopes; she learned her lesson about that, but there was hope still.

Charlie was dressed and ready for her game soon after and they were at the field not long after that. To Emily's surprise, Charlie seemed to be keeping an eye out for the Hotchner boys, or at least one particular Hotchner boy. They were early, like they tended to be, warm ups hadn't even started yet, and Hotch already told Emily they might be a little late. Emily just didn't have the heart to tell her that she might not see them before she started playing.

"I don't see Jack mom."

"I know. He and Aaron aren't here yet."

"I don't care about that man. He doesn't have to come."

"He wants to come Charlie, to cheer you on. That's nice of him. He loves you and I know you love him."

"Whatever." She hissed.

"Please drop the attitude Charlie. Jack _and_ Aaron will be here soon, but right now, I see your team, so grab your water bottle and I'll walk you over to them."

"Fine." There was still attitude in her voice and Emily wasn't happy with it, but she understood it and because it was a mild infraction, she decided to let it slide.

"Good luck Charlie Bear, and remember to have fun. Win or lose, just have fun. I'll be on the bleachers."

"Are you going to save a seat for Jack?"

"Yes, I will save two seats for them."

"You only have to save one for Jack. He's little."

"No Charlie, I have to save two and you know why." Emily bent down so she was more eyelevel with her daughter. "Don't worry about anything right now. Just have fun playing soccer with your friends. Don't worry about anything else until later."

"Ok."

"Love you. Have a good game."

"I will. Love you mommy."

The game began without any sign of Hotch. It disheartened her a little; made her insecurities pop back up and had her questioning his word. But he made that go away. He said they might've been late and they were. Jack played for a different district so it was farther away and took a little more time, but they made it just a few minutes into the first half.

"Glad you guys could make it." She greeted them.

"Me too." Hotch responded.

"Hi Emily!"

"Hi Jack. How was your game?"

"My team won."

"That's great Jack. I bet you were awesome out there. I wish I could've seen it."

"Maybe you and Charlie can come next time. My sister should be there." Both adults peaked at the word. It rolled off his tongue so naturally, like he said it all the time. His sister…

"Daddy told you about Charlie?"

"Yeah. He said that she's my sister because he's both of our dad. I said that means I have to protect her like a big brother should."

"That's… that's incredibly sweet of you Jack. I know Charlie's excited to have you here."

"I need to be here for her. That's what brother's do. But don't worry Emily. You don't have to be scared."

"I don't?" She looked to Hotch in question.

"No, Charlie being my sister won't hurt our family." He stated plainly. "It just makes it bigger. Now there are more people to love and I know daddy loves us both. So you don't have to be scared. Mommy's not mad either."

Wow… "Oh-kay?" Again she looked to Aaron. What just happened?

"This kind of makes you my family too. Right Emily?"

"Umm…" Did it? _Aaron, a little help…_

"Yes Jack." He got the hint, pointed, begging eyes and all. "It makes Emily part of your family."

"But we've always been a family too. Right Dad? Everyone at the BAU is like a family. That's what you always tell me."

"I agree with that too Jack." Emily said with a smile. Hotch wasn't lying; things apparently went well. "We are all one big extended family. That won't ever change. Now you just have a sister."

"By blood."

"Yes, but that doesn't make it any different. Does it?"

"No, I love her just the same, but now I can say she's my sister. Does she have the same last name as me and dad?"

Seeing Emily was a little overwhelmed, or at least emotionally overwhelmed, Hotch decided to give her a break, "You know what Jack? Not all siblings have the same last name, like you and Charlie. But that doesn't change anything either. How about we talk about this more later? Charlie has the ball." He pointed to the field. Charlie saved the day… or the moment…

The three of them cheered on the girl as she dribbled the ball, so much so that they distracted her; more like he did. Momentarily caught up as she heard his voice cheer her name, she lost the ball and Emily knew, in that moment, that the day wasn't going to get any easier. Charlie was beating herself up and she was going to blame him. She saw it coming like a freight train set on a collision course, but there was no stopping it. She simply let it happen because there was no other choice. She sat back down on the bleachers and watched as her daughter scowled around the grassy plain.

They still cheered for her. Emily always did and that wasn't going to change. And she wasn't going to stop the boys from participating because she could see that was all they wanted to do. They wanted it to work, just as she did, and just as she knew that Charlie did too. So, she wasn't stopping it, even if it did throw Charlie for a little bit of a loop. Maybe she needed that to move on and understand; throw her off balance to help her find her new course… It was wishful thinking.

As the first half came to a close and Charlie huddled with her team for halftime, Jack asked if he could play on the nearby swings until the game started up again. Hotch agreed, just made him promise to stay in sight. Emily and Hotch, though they exchanged a few glances throughout the half, hadn't really said much to each other, but it seemed like as good a time as any. "That must've been some talk you two had." Emily said when she was sure the boy was at a safe distance away.

"Yeah, it was."

"I was almost expecting it to be worse for him."

"Me too, but I'm starting to think you were right all along." She had to admit, it felt pretty great to hear that one. She was right… What woman didn't love hearing that? "We had to do it right. We had to be the ones to tell them. We didn't get that chance with her, but I did with him and it worked out."

"So it went well?"

"It went better than I could've hoped." He leaned back into the stands. "We explained the situation and he understood, for the most part, that Charlie is now part of this family and what that meant. He asked some questions that Haley and I did our best to answer. In the end, he just wanted me to know that he was going to make the best big brother he could."

"And I know he will." She agreed as she looked over to him gracefully playing by himself. "When did he become such a little man instead of just a boy?"

"I ask myself that every time I see him and I never get an answer. He just grows more and more each time. I'm so proud of him. And not just because he's taking this so well."

"No…" She looked from her lap to him. "You have a lot to be proud of. He's an amazing kid and he's got a great head on his shoulders. Who knows, maybe he'll be the one who gets through to Charlie."

"That'd be nice." He agreed. "What happened after you left?"

Just as he told Emily about his talk with Jack, she told him about her lack of conversing with Charlie. It hurt him, again, like it hurt her. But they just had to take it and hope she'd just talk to them soon. It was something they both knew well, something they both did well; a person couldn't make someone else talk until they were ready. Charlie wasn't ready and she didn't understand. The best they could do to help her was to give her time and make her understand.

The second half felt longer than the first. It was the anticipation. Jack had returned as soon as the starting whistle blew and they once again went on to cheering, but each of them was anticipating the after. As soon as the game was over, the "family" began. Jack got a playmate. Aaron got to face her and spend time with her both knowing they were father and daughter. And Emily had to deal with the inevitable fallout which she was anticipating to be great. She was both looking forward to it and not at all…

"Ready?" Emily asked as they stood, the game now over and the teams lining up to do the customary end of the game rounds.

"Are you?" He asked.

"Not even a little." She answered. "Come on Jack, let's go congratulate Charlie."

"Let's go get my sister." Hearing that would take some getting used to but it wouldn't get old. The three bypassed the rest of the parents and family to make it to the reason they were there. "Hi Charlie." Jack greeted as soon as he saw her.

"Hi Jack!" She was still excited to see him even if that meant seeing Aaron too.

"You did really good out there. You almost scored a goal. That was awesome."

"Thanks Jack."

"Hello Charlie." The girl said nothing, just moseyed over to her mother's side like a shy child hiding behind her parent's leg.

"Charlie." Emily scolded quietly.

"Hi." She'd greet him; she just wouldn't do it happily.

"I don't know about you two, but I'm ready to go."

"Me too!" Jack said happily. "We're coming over to play Charlie. Isn't that cool?"

"Sure." She said halfheartedly.

"You don't want me to come over?"

"I want _you_ to come over." She specified.

"Then why do you look so sad? Your team just won. You should be happy. My team won today too."

"You did?" He nodded. "Cool. Did you score a goal?"

The kids continued their talking ignorant to the parents' presence. Emily used that to her advantage. It meant the fireworks she expected would wait until later and later meant in the privacy of her own home. So, she and Hotch just ushered the children to the car as they let them continue on. It was nice to see them so friendly and so the same. Nothing between them changed yet everything had. They were still the same Jack and Charlie, friends, just now siblings too.

Despite their inner turmoil, that helped Emily and Aaron feel a little freer and hold onto their hope a little tighter. At least something was going right. They were sure there'd be moments in the future and there'd be times where the kids wouldn't know what to do or how to handle each other's new role, but that wasn't a problem for the present. They were, and their relationship was, the light in the otherwise dimmed situation. And that light was very welcomed by the pair.

They got back to Emily's without much issue. There was a brief interlude where Charlie tried to convince the family that there was no need for Hotch to come; Jack was more than welcome to ride home with them. But that didn't fly and Emily made it clear that they were both coming. But that was the worst of it… up to that point…

The day was actually going well. Well, at least, in the sense that it wasn't dramatic. Jack and Charlie talked and they played as Emily and Aaron talked and watched. But there was a lot of avoiding on Charlie's part. Hotch made the effort. He tried to engage her and Emily tried to help him along. But it was all in vain because that girl was as stubborn as they came and she wasn't willing to budge. She was set in being angry with him and neither adult knew what to make of it or how to change it. It was a live and learn type of thing and they were definitely living and learning.

All they could do was sit back and let it all happen, even if that wasn't what they wanted. "So, how's Sean doing?" Emily needed small talk. Things between them weren't awkward yet, but they weren't normal either.

"I don't know."

"What do you mean?"

"He hasn't really been talking to me; ignores my calls, that kind of thing." He explained.

"Do you know why?" She questioned.

"No, I have no clue." She might've had an idea.

"You know…" She hesitated. "Your brother and I have been talking…"

That got his attention. "You have? Talking how?"

"Well, before the trip to New York, he paid me a little visit."

"He did?"

"Mmhmm." He imagined it was right around the time he had his own visit with him. It would make sense.

"What did he say to you?"

"He wanted to meet Charlie."

"Did you let him?"

"Of course I did Aaron. She fell in love with him." Hotch looked at her like she was crazy. How was that possible? "He brought chocolate." Ah…

"Think that will help me?" He asked jokingly.

"I don't know. His were pretty good… and he made them himself." She teased.

"At this point, I'm still willing to try it."

"We're going to talk to her. I'm hoping this time with Jack will help her."

"Me too." They sat in quiet and watched the kids a little longer as they sipped on their coffee.

"So, I uh… I told him what happened between us… Told him what was said…"

"Emily…" His tone was chiding. He didn't tell his brother. He didn't want his brother to know. He was ashamed of it and having anyone else know just made it worse, though, now he understood his brother's reluctance to speak with him. "If I wanted my brother to know, I would've told him." He was angry and she didn't blame him, but she did what she had to do.

"He showed up at my door Hotch. I let him in. What was I supposed to do when he kept asking? He said you two talked. I wasn't… I wasn't trying to step into your business. That was my business too." She looked to him. "And for honesty's sake, I send him emails from time to time about what's going on. I try to leave you out of them." She added that quickly, "But I always include pictures and whatever."

"Does he answer you back?" Because he wasn't answering him.

"He hasn't recently. I give him the updates, we share the occasional call. With the restaurant doing so well, I assume he's just busy."

"Yeah, you're right." It had nothing to do with finally seeing his big brother mess up… Hotch was surprised he wasn't gloating. Obviously, his brother was a better person than he ever gave him credit for. He had to talk to him, and soon. The two continued to discuss the matter amongst other things, none of which was the them situation, as they gave their children a chance to settle in and acclimate to the new them.

Jack and Charlie played like they always did. As soon as they arrived at the Prentiss house, and Hotch helped Emily bring the things she left at Rossi's in, they gave the kids lunch and off they went. They talked, as kids did, about kid things. Mostly they just played. Charlie was good at convincing the Hotchner boys to play her girlie games. And even though Jack was a no go on the dress up tea party, she conned him into wearing a crown and shawl to be the king of their castle. Though, Jack did call the shawl a cape and the crown wasn't all that feminine, Charlie still counted it as a win.

"Let's play something else. The king needs a break." Jack proclaimed. Being a brother was exhausting, but he could handle it just like he said he would.

"But I was just about to take over the castle. I was going to rule the playground." She whined. "Queen Charlie!"

"You can still be the queen." He told her. "Just of something else."

"You can't be a queen without a castle Jack. Don't be silly."

"I'm a boy Charlie. I can't be a queen ever."

"I can't either if we don't have a castle!" Charlie professed.

"You can be the queen again later ok Charlie?"

"Fine. But then what do we do now?" A devious smile found its way onto her face. "Will you play tea party with me?"

"No."

"Why not?" She huffed.

"I don't like tea parties. I'm a boy Charlie."

"So what?"

"Boys don't play tea party."

"Yes they do."

"No."

"Clyde plays tea party with me."

"Is he your imaginary friend?"

"No, he's my real friend and mommy's too."

"Ok."

"And… and _he_ played with me too."

"Who?"

"_Him._" She pointed into the house.

"Dad?"

"Yeah… him." At least there wasn't as much malice in her voice as she said it that time. She remembered how much fun they had playing with her tea set; the three of them, him included.

"Ok… but I don't want to play that. Maybe next time. Let's just take a break ok?"

"Alright." She gave in. He was her brother after all. "We can… Oh, we can play with the dough me and mommy made! It smells like apple and you can eat it, but it doesn't' taste great. It's for playing. Do you want to do that?"

"Sure Charlie." They played some things he liked; he'd suffer through some she liked too.

They snuck into the kitchen and Charlie pulled out the play dough that they kept in the fridge. She looked so eager to play with it that he couldn't help but feel it too. But, for a while, he observed her as only a brother could. "I'm happy you're my sister Charlie." Jack said out of the blue.

"You are?" She questioned with a twinkle in her eye that had been missing since the mess started.

"Yeah." He answered honestly. "You're my friend. And I'm your friend too right?"

"Duh Jack, you're my friend."

"Sometimes you're too girlie…"

"No I'm not." She was quick to protest.

"Are too."

"Well sometimes you're too boy-y."

"Charlie, you're a girl. You're supposed to be girlie. And since I'm your brother now, that means I have to get used to it. But it also means you have to listen to me too because I'm older and I know better."

"I don't have to." She insisted.

"Yeah you do. My friends say that their little sisters listen to them and they listen to their older brother. So you have to too. But I won't be mean. Ok? I'll be nice to you as much as I can. Sometimes I'll be angry because that's what happens because we're people. But I'll still love you and I'll still want you to be my sister because I like having you as my sister. Do you like having me as your brother?"

"I do Jack. I like having you as my brother." She said with a hug. Forgetting the dough that was still in her hands, she wrapped her arms around him.

"Good. So you'll listen to me?"

"Whatever."

"Now that that's out of the way, we need to talk." He said seriously.

"We do?" She asked curiously. "About what?"

"About dad."

"Your dad?"

"Our dad."

"I don't want to talk about _him_." She was adamant about that.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't."

"But why not?"

"Because I don't Jack!"

"You're not supposed to yell Charlie. That's mean. Besides," he cajoled her a little, "dad told me he loved you very much. Just like he loves me."

"Maybe I don't want him to." She said shyly.

"Yeah you do."

"No I don't. I don't want him to. I just want me and mommy and you and Henry and Clyde and all of mommy's friends, because they're my friends too, to be my family."

"Daddy's your mom's friend too."

"Well he's not mine!"

"Yes he is."

"No!"

"Yes, that's why he plays with you like he plays with me. He tells good stories."

"My mommy's and Clyde's are better." She rebutted.

"Ok, but he tries hard. I bet he told you some stories. Right?" She reluctantly nodded. "And you like playing with him right?" This time, she gave a shrug. "You like when he comes over and you said he played tea party with you… That was fun right?"

"Yeah…" She gave in.

"I think he thought it was fun too. He wanted you to play with us yesterday."

"He did?" She was surprised.

"Yeah. See, he's not so bad."

"Whatever." She couldn't admit it one way or the other. In her mind, he was still the problem or a problem.

Jack was good at getting her to see that things were good. As they played, he kept slipping in some cool things about having a dad, more specifically, their dad. But even so, through all of it, there was still something bothering him. "Can I ask you something Charlie?"

"What?"

With a little hesitation, he asked, "How come you don't call dad, dad?"

She froze, hands dropping the red dough in her hands. "I don't want to play with you anymore." Charlie quickly stated as she rushed away. In her haste, she ran right past her parents, not giving them a second glance.

"Charlie? Charlie!" Emily called out for her. She stood, keeping Hotch where he was. She imagined it had something to do with him. "Let me see what's wrong with her. Go make sure Jack's ok." Did he have a choice otherwise? Charlie wouldn't have been receptive to his company or his help…

"Go." And she did. They both went their own way to conquer a child.

And as Hotch tried his hand with Jack, Emily walked into an interesting sight. She walked into Charlie's bedroom to see her stuffing clothes into her backpack. "What are you doing?" She asked.

"I'm running away." Charlie stated with complete sincerity. Emily wanted to laugh. She remembered doing the same thing many times as a child. "Don't laugh mommy. You need to pack."

"I do?"

"Yes. You're running away with me." She informed her.

"Where are we going?"

"Far away where no one will ever find us." She explained.

"Why?"

"Because… Because I don't want to be here anymore!" That was the best she could come up with.

"Why not Charlie? I thought you loved this house." Emily took a seat on the bed as Charlie worked around her. She really was good at packing. Emily wasn't sure if that made her happy and proud or a little sad.

"I do. I like my room and all my toys and the playground." She stilled her hands and looked to her mother. "We can take those with us."

"The house has to stay. I don't think we'll be moving that anytime soon. And the playground, well, we could take that with us, but we'd have to take it apart. Your room too…"

"We'll have to find a way to take it all with us."

"Hey Charlie…" Emily's hand landed atop Charlie's to stop her from adding anything else into the bag. "Sit down, please, and talk to me."

"Ok." She huffed. "What mom?"

"Tell me what's happening here. Why are we running away?"

"Because…." She started sadly, her wet eyes looking up to her. "Because we need to."

"I think Jack and Henry and all of our friends would miss us." Emily tried to rationalize.

"They can visit."

"Or we could stay."

"I don't want to stay."

"Why not?"

Something at the door caught her attention. "Because of _him_." She pointed to Hotch as Emily followed her finger.

"Because of Aaron?"

"Yes. I don't want to be near that man."

"Charlie," she tried to calm her, "that man is your father and our friend. Why are you so angry? Can you tell me that?"

"I'm not angry!" Clearly…

"Yes you are. You're yelling."

"I'm sorry." She didn't want to be in trouble. Jack was there. She still wanted to play even if she said she didn't. Running away was already a forgotten idea.

"I know this is so complicated, but we want things to work for all of us. So if you have questions or you want to talk about anything, we're both here."

She gave it some thought. "Why is he my dad?"

"Well, we made you together. That's why."

"Why him? Why didn't you make me with Clyde?" Emily dreaded the day the conversation would hold a higher rating and what she did or did not do with Clyde was questioned.

"Because," Hotch stepped in, "your mom and I care about each other very much, so we made you." That was a good explanation for Jack…

"I'm not talking to _him._"

"You have to talk to both of us Charlotte. This attitude you've been throwing around won't be tolerated for much longer." She sighed. "Just tell me what's wrong. Tell me why this bothers you so much. I thought you liked when Aaron came over."

"I did."

"And you liked when he read you stories and helped put you to bed."

"Yeah…"

"None of that has changed Charlie. You can still like those things."

"Yeah." Hotch added. "And I still like those things. I love those things. I love every minute I spend with you."

"Well I don't!"

"Why Charlie?" Hotch asked with sorrow. "Why don't you like those things anymore?"

"Because I don't think I like you now."

"Why don't you like him sweetie?"

"Can I go play on the swings with Jack?" She quickly tried to get away. As smart as she was, she still didn't understand the situation. But she did comprehend one thing. He was her father. He was her father and he was there and he knew, but he wasn't always there and he never told her. In her little girl brain, it didn't make sense. To some adults, it probably wouldn't have either. She was just trying to understand the only way she could. And, unfortunately for Hotch, it meant making him the bad guy.

Emily could see the sadness in Aaron's eyes and she knew it was her fault. She needed to step in and make things better, but she really had no idea how. "Sure honey. You can go play on the swings, but you know the rules. Stay where I can see you and if I call you, you have to come."

"I know." Even as she walked away, slightly hunched and not at all her normal self, Emily just felt horrible. What if that was how it all ended? What if the happy world they worked so hard to create was over?

"Why didn't you let me talk to her?" Hotch asked with a bite of anger. He was going to say something. He was going to talk to her. He was going to make her see that he loved her even if she didn't know it.

"What were you going to say Aaron?"

"I don't know. Something; I was going to say something." He didn't know what.

"I know you're upset. This isn't what either of us wanted. Believe me, this," she gestured around with her hands, "is what I've been afraid of all along. It's not how I wanted things to turn out." She shook her head. "But it's what we have and now we have to deal with it."

"That's not good enough." He hissed. And she hated to admit it, but he was right. That nearly killed her.

"I'm sorry." But it wasn't over. There were still things to try and stuff to do…

Huffing, he offered his explanation. "Jack told me he asked her why she doesn't call me dad and she ran away."

"I think she's scared that if she accepts you, she loses me."

"That's not going to happen."

"Or… or that she can only have one of us and she'll have to choose. Maybe she just doesn't understand where you've been. I don't… I don't know…"

"Me either." He didn't want to do that. He didn't want to have this breakdown right there and then. There were still two kids there to take care of and one that was in some serious need of guidance they didn't know how to give. It seemed the eight year old had it more figured out than they did. How fair was that?

"I… I don't know how to get through to her. She won't talk to me. She doesn't say anything that will help me help her. How do I help her? How do I fix this?"

"I wish I knew."

"I guess we should get down there before something erupts." Emily conceded. "At least she's not mad at him."

"Yes, I'm happy about that too." And it was one of the only things about the situation he could be happy about. At least the kids took to their new kinship like nothing at all. It was the rest of it, the new dynamic and everything else, which had him worried. "Let's go."

He wasn't angry with her, not really or not only. He blamed himself too. They were where they were because of both of their choices, but that was a hard pill to swallow. He just wanted Charlie to acknowledge him like she used to; in ways that weren't the equivalent of vulgar name calling. _Him. That man._ Those were the only ways he was addressed. And, frankly, it sucked… hard.

The rest of the day was, by no means, stress free. There was a building tension around them. Every time their attempts with Charlie failed or Hotch tried saying anything to her and he was turned away… It just grew. And the adults weren't making it easier on themselves. They wanted one problem at a time, but that wasn't realistic. On any given day they had a good handful and that day wasn't any different. And their other problem was them.

Emily wanted to be a them for so many reasons and he… didn't. Though, his actions, clearly said otherwise. And she understood him. He was with someone. She was too late. It was still a relief to admit it to herself, something he had yet to do. But, out there or not, it wasn't much easier. Now they were just doing a different version of the dance they've always done. And it was a little awkward; would definitely take some getting used to. Still, too late or not, she was happy it was out there. She didn't have that weight pressing on her anymore. He did.

The slight unease, though, they could've both lived without. They were stuck with each other; for better or worse. And they'd live through both, but they didn't want it to be uncomfortable; not for them or their children. Yet it was. Contained to them, it was awkward. Emily couldn't shut her feelings off. They were out there and, as much as she tried, the box refused to be stuffed and closed again. It was about accepting them and moving on from them. She didn't know how to do that with him around all the time. But he needed to be around all the time… Conundrum…

As for him, he was, well he didn't know what he was. Charlie wasn't taking it how he would've hoped and it hit him where it hurt the most, but he was doing his best to just try and take it in stride. It wasn't working. And he could see it wasn't working for Emily either. He wanted nothing more than for their closeness to give them comfort, to offer her a hug or, or something. But was that ok? Would that give off more mixed signals? With the sadness in her eyes, did it matter? His feelings were still buried deep. He couldn't feel them when he felt them for someone else too… or just for someone else… Or… something.

He could see her holding back. He was holding back. They were sitting farther away than they've been. It was like pre-reconciliation Hotch and Prentiss rather than friends and parents Aaron and Emily… Just like he didn't know where he stood with Charlie, he didn't know where he stood with her. He didn't want to send anymore mixed signals, though if he was willing to admit it they weren't mixed, just signals, but he needed his friend. Despite everything else and whoever came into his life, he needed her. He just needed to control himself; no more passionate moments where his walls were down and his emotion took over…

"Hotch? Are you listening?" She didn't blame him if he wasn't. She barely knew what they were talking about. They covered Jack, touched on Charlie, and used work as a distraction as much as they could…

"Yes, sorry. You were saying that we'll figure something out with Charlie." He was listening. He was just also thinking about his relationship with her.

"Yeah. I know it seems bad now." They both knew it was more than bad; it was bad for all of them. "But we have to find a way to give her some control over the situation without letting her control everything. That was what Claire told me."

"And how do we do that?" It sounded bitter even to his own ears.

"Obviously," her tone matched his, "I don't know because we wouldn't be here if I did." They were angry for the situation, yes, but the anger that they were spewing was more for each other and the inevitable shift back in their relationship. Neither wanted that. "I don't see you offering any ideas."

The bickering wasn't what they wanted either. So he took a deep breath and said, "You're right…" He didn't have any ideas. They were just bubbling with so much emotion that they had to let it out somehow. "I don't have any ideas. I just know that I want her to be a big part of my life and for that, I need her to be on board."

"I know Hotch." She said. "We'll get her there."

"Really?" He didn't seem all that optimistic about that.

"I don't know how… yet, but she will get there."

"I want to believe that." He admitted. "I'm not sure I do."

"Aaron…"

"No, listen." Ok… She shut her mouth and listened. "She went from wishing I was over all the time to wishing she never met me. We let her sleep on it and it didn't seem to help. I think it may have even made it worse. And yes, she gets along with Jack and that makes me incredibly happy. They accept each other and they know what their relationship means, but I find myself jealous of my eight year old son Emily. That's not alright. I'm not ok with that. I can't accept that this is the way things are going to be. I don't want her to hate me, but I don't want to push her either. This rejection… I wasn't expecting this. I prepared myself for bad, but I didn't really prepare myself at all. I think I was deluding myself in the vision of perfect."

"Nothing's ever perfect Aaron, but if I could make this as close to it as I could, you know I would."

"I know." His hand found hers from across the couch. "I know you would, but the truth of the matter is you can't. We are both so out of our element here."

Quiet settled over them, their hands still intertwined without them really noticing. It was natural, and they were distracted. They were thinking. There was so much to figure out and so much to sort through. And they needed each other both for comfort and support. But, maybe they needed to do it alone; together, but not… Emily felt the squeeze on her hand and quickly pulled it away. She couldn't. It wasn't… She just couldn't accept it.

"Maybe we have to do this the hard way." Emily said, though the meaning was unclear. Which problem was the this?

"What do you mean?" He asked ignoring the way she snatched her hand away like it was on fire and the uncomfortable rigidness her body took as she did.

"Well, maybe I'm the problem…"

"Emily…"

"No, listen." The authoritative tone got him quiet, as it always did. "Maybe I'm blocking the path from her to you. Does that make sense?"

"No." It didn't.

"I've almost always been there. When you were with her… I've almost always been there too."

"Except for when I was watching her." And when she was in a coma…

"Right. And when I left things were fine between you. She easily warmed up to you and asked you things that, I think, she may've been afraid to ask me."

"About her… me?"

"Yes. We need to get her back to that place. A place where she trusts you."

"Again, how do we do that?"

"I think you need some alone time with her. Do something with her, just her; no me and no Jack."

"Do what? I don't want to get her in the car kicking and screaming so people call the cops thinking I'm kidnapping her, just so we can get somewhere and have a bad time."

"You won't have a bad time."

"You don't know that."

"No, I don't. But I do know her and this isn't her. So we have to try something and if it's forcing you two together then so be it."

"And you think this will work?"

"I think we have to at least try it. Don't you?" Still keeping an eye on the kids, Emily and Aaron, cohesively, worked on a plan.

"So next weekend, she's coming over to my house?"

"Who's going to his house?" Charlie asked suspiciously. Damn her and her bad timing…

"Come sit down Charlie." Emily instructed.

"I don't want to." She said nervously, shying away from them.

"Please." Emily tried and it worked. Charlie gingerly made her way onto the couch between the parents, cozying up to Emily. "Where's Jack?"

"In the bathroom."

"Ok." Seemed as good a time as any to bring it up. "Your dad and…"

"_He's_ not my dad."

"Your _dad_ and I thought it would be good for the two of you to spend some time together."

"No."

"Charlie, Aaron would like you to spend next weekend with him."

"All weekend?!" Her eyes bulged.

"We'll take it one day at a time, but we'd like it to be the whole weekend."

"Will you be there too?"

"No, just you."

"I don't want to."

"You may not want to, but it's something you need to do."

"Well I'm not going!"

"Yes Charlie, you are." Emily demanded.

"Why are you making me do this?! I hate you!" She screamed at Hotch.

"Charlie, that is incredibly rude. He isn't making you do this. I am."

"Fine, then I hate you! And you can't make me go!" She yelled as she stomped away. Emily remained motionless. _I hate you…_ Never had words hurt her so.

"Emily? Emily…"

"I… she…"

"It's ok." He pulled her closer and fought against everything they'd been pushing away to just hold her. She needed it. He needed it. "It's ok." He repeated.

"No it's not." She cried as she pulled away. She didn't have it in her to go find Charlie and she knew it wasn't really an appropriate time to be breaking down with both kids in the house, but she couldn't stop it. Charlie said she hated her, ran away, slammed the door, and that was that.

As Emily sat there slightly dazed, Hotch was still trying to comfort her. But after a few failed tries, he knew better. Jack wandered in at some point looking for Charlie. Emily hadn't even noticed as he told his son that Charlie was probably in her room and asked him kindly to please go check on her and stay in there until it was time to leave. The day was not going how they wanted. So he just sat there beside her, unable to help her, unable to feed off of her strength, and let his emotion and thoughts fester.

"Did I make this happen? Is this my fault?" It took everything in him to say no. That was the truth even if he didn't feel that way. In some part, it was her fault. They didn't know because she didn't tell them. But he could've fought harder to tell her sooner. He could've…. There were many could haves and what ifs… But thinking them wouldn't change where they were and Emily needed him to be the strong one even if she was trying to be strong for him. Neither wanted Charlie to be so confused and hurt. Neither wanted her to take it out on them. And neither ever wanted to hear the dreaded "I hate you."

"It's not your fault." He told her. "Talking to Jack, explaining things to him… I understand now, why you did what you did. I get it. I still may not agree with it, but I get it. And it led us here. Both of or choices and our actions led us here, but here's ok. It hurts me and I can see it's hurting you because she's so confused, but she knows. She has two parents and a brother she loves. She has all of us and now she knows that. So we'll get through this. It's not your fault. You gave me her and that's one of the two greatest gifts I've ever received… It's not your fault."

"She wanted to run away Hotch. She was packing her things so we could run away. Is that what I taught our daughter? I taught her to run away when things get tough…"

"No… No that's not what's happening."

"Yes it is." She wept. "It is! I taught her to run away and to keep things in just like my parents did. And now… Now she hates us… She hates me." She squeaked as she face palmed.

"She doesn't hate you." Emily gave him a pointed, 'what do you know' look. "She said it, but she doesn't mean it."

"And if I said that to you, would you believe me?"

"No, but it's different for you. You're all she has ever known. I'm new. She could hate what she doesn't know, but she can't hate you… not when she loves you so much."

It took a while and there was a lot of back and for the between the two, but they finally calmed. They were… more settled; not ok, but ok enough to get through the night and finally face their children. That wasn't all that ok, but it was Hotch and Emily ok, whatever that meant to the average person. "Thank you for all of this, but it's getting late and I know you need to get Jack back to Haley's."

"I can stay." He offered. "Or… I can't stay now, but I can take Jack home and come back. We can talk… I can come back."

"No you can't." She told him sorrowfully, but with finality.

"It's not a problem Emily. I want to be here for both of you."

"I know you do. But it is a problem… For me. You staying here right now…. That's not good for me. I said I had feelings for you and you said you didn't feel the same way." She could see him amping to protest so she quickly added, "And that's ok." It was. She couldn't make him feel what she was feeling just like she couldn't magically unfeel what she felt. "But I need to get over these feelings and I can't do that with you here being sweet to me and taking care of me. Let me take care of myself."

"You can take care of yourself with me here." He tried to reason.

"No…" Her head shook. "I can't. I can't take care of myself and help Charlie with you here because… Because I can't not think about kissing you every time you just innocently touch me. When you hug me, I can't help but hope for more. When you tell me things are going to be ok, I want to believe you. And they will, but I can't… I just can't. Please respect that. We'll stick together for Charlie and Jack and we still work together, but… But that's where it has to end."

"Emily…"

"At least for now." She added. "At least for now, that's how it has to be so we can parent together and work together. That's how it has to be. So when you're here, you're here for her, and that's it. We interact for work and kid purposes only. For now." She practically begged.

"Is that… Is that really what you want?" Say no…

No. "Yes. It's what I want."

"Ok." He conceded. "Ok, I guess I'll see you at work tomorrow."

"Goodbye… Hotch." She was careful not to say Aaron. She needed the separation. For her sanity, no matter how easy it would've been to hold onto him a little longer, she needed it.

"Bye Emily." He left her there to clean up what was left of her damp and tear stained face to go see Jack and Charlie. He knocked gently on the door.

"Go away!" He heard his daughter yell before listening to a hushed conversation through the door.

"Charlie, that's mean. You're not supposed to do that."

"I don't care."

"Yes you do."

"Fine." He could practically hear the eye roll. "Whoever's there, you can come in, but not for long."

"Thank you for letting me in." He said as he entered.

"It's you." That was not a tone he wanted to hear again, so full of disgust.

"Yes. I wanted to see you before Jack and I leave."

"Why?" Before answering, he moved deeper into the room and asked Jack to head downstairs and get ready to go and then politely asked Charlie if he could sit. Maybe cordiality would get him somewhere. "I don't care." She told him with crossed arms and not looking at him

"I know you're mad at me and your mom, but you made us both very sad." She wasn't talking, but he could tell he got her attention. "Mommy's so sad because she thinks she made you sad. But she just did what she thought was best for you. I want to spend time with you Charlie not just because I'm your dad because I cared about you so much before I even knew." He did? "And if it's possible, I love you even more now. You are one of the best kids out there and I am so proud to be your dad even if you don't like that I am. I'm no Clyde or Derek, but I love you and I can't wait for next weekend so we can have fun together." He stood, brushed a curl from her face, and said, "I'm sorry we hurt you Charlie. We didn't mean to. I'll see you soon."

"Bye." She said, a little softer than she spoke to him all day. It was a start and even though the ache was still there, it was less so.

"Come on Jack." Hotch said as he sauntered into the living room where his son was conversing with Emily.

"Bye Emily."

"Bye Jack. Don't wait so long to come see us again, ok?"

"Ok." Hotch started to lead them away. "Aren't you going to say bye dad?"

"I already did." In more ways than one and he couldn't do it again. "How was your day with Charlie?" Hotch asked as they were buckling into the car. He was hoping for a little more all together time, but at least the kids were together.

"It was good. We had a very good talk." He told him.

"What kind of talk?"

"She's happy I'm her brother and I'm happy she's my sister. So we're going to make this work. You have nothing to worry about dad. I promise."

"If you say so Jack."

"I do." He stated confidently before continuing. "I think she's a little sad, but I'll make it better. I know she likes us."

"I hope you're right son."

"I know I am."

They arrived at Haley's sharing many other thoughts before they did. Jack was always capable of making things seem better even if they weren't and that time was no different. So as they parted, he gave him an extra big hug and a quiet thank you before telling him how much he loved him. As Jack left, Haley asked how things went, but Hotch didn't know how to answer. "I'll let you know when I do." He said, and, by some chance, she understood.

The day wasn't a success, but it wasn't a complete failure either. He still had one more thing to do though, and, as much as he would've liked to, it wasn't to return to Emily's. No, that was something he couldn't do. He made his choices, right or wrong, and he had to respect that; respect her. She asked and he didn't like it, but he could give her that. Still there was something he needed to take care of and he didn't want to put it off.

He pulled into the apartment's parking structure then headed into the building fighting the urge to drink. He wasn't a big drinker, but since the mess began it started to be a bit more of a frequent habit. It wasn't an issue, not an addiction; sometimes something just needed to dull the pain. Sometimes… But, for this, he needed to be sober. Settled into the apartment, showered and changed, he scrolled through his numbers and pressed send when he got to the right one.

"Hello…" There was a pause.

"Hi Se…" He was cut off.

"You've reached Sean Hotchner. I'm busy right now. Try calling again later or leave a message." Nice message.

"Sean, this is enough. I know you're ignoring my calls and it has to stop. Jack misses his uncle and I'm sure your niece would like to hear from you. Apparently she loves your chocolate." He sighed into the receiver. "Look, I know I've made mistakes with you and with my family, but I'm working on fixing them. That means with you too. Call me back. Please. We need to talk. I don't want to. I really don't have the time to, but I'll come to New York if I have to Sean. And don't test that. It's not a bluff. Just… Call me back or show up like you're good at doing. You have my number. Don't make me call mom. Bye." Did he really just say he'd call their mom? He felt like a kid all over again after Sean stole one of his toys. "Give it back or I'll tell mom." They were still those kids, still having the same fights, they were just older. Not much had changed though, and that was what he wanted for his kids; just a better, less dysfunctional version of it.

It was time to call it a night. There was so much to sort through and he didn't want to. Sleep. He'd sleep on it and pretend he wasn't crushed by both Prentiss women in the morning when he had to face her. And Beth… Crap, he promised to call her to make plans for… for next weekend; plans he'd have to put on hold. He had a far more important date… with his daughter. It was going to be a long night, and not just for him.

After the boys left, Emily did her best to compose herself completely. Jack missed the tears, but she knew Charlie could read her well and she didn't want that. She didn't want her little girl to see the hurt. When she made it upstairs, Charlie's door was still closed. It was rarely closed; only when Emily left it ajar to keep the noise from waking her. But it was closed. And she was positive if it had a lock on it, it would've been that too. It was like the teenage years early. She said it to herself over and over, but she was afraid of what those years would hold. At least she'd have someone to share it with; kind of… Hotch would be there in responsibility even if he wasn't there with them physically all the time.

She didn't want to think about that either; not about him and what they wouldn't have. So, ignoring it, she knocked. "Charlie it's mommy. I'm coming in."

"Ok." The voice was quiet, but heard as Emily let herself in.

"Hey Charlie Bear. Did you have a good day with Jack?" She shrugged. Yes, she had a lot of fun with him, but the other him, not so much. And she couldn't help it. She was a little mad at mom too. "So, I think it's time for a bath and then bed. What do you say?"

"Ok." The barely there responses were not ok with Emily, but she didn't have much fight left in her that day. Talking with Hotch was exhausting. Being told by her daughter that she hated her was draining. Add to that the day before and it was just a rough couple of days.

In what felt like a muted conversation, Emily readied Charlie's bath, got her clean, and helped her dress for bed with little real talk between them. Emily hated every second of it. Charlie did too. But they still did it. "Want a story tonight?"

"No."

"No?" That never happened, but Charlie shook her head. No story. "Oh. Ok. Hop into bed then." She couldn't help but feel more defeated than she already did. She wanted to hear the words, 'I didn't mean it mommy. I could never hate you.' Then, she'd be ok. Until then, she felt cold inside. Icy or not, she wanted her daughter to feel the warmth. "I'm sorry about today baby." She said as she sat on the bed next to her. "But you and Jack had fun, right?" A small nod emanated from under the covers. "Good, I'm glad. I'll try to make it so you can see him whenever you want." Nothing. "We'll talk about your rude behavior in the morning. I know you're upset but stomping around and slamming doors is against the rules. You know that. So before school, we're going to talk about punishment. But, tonight, just rest and we'll figure it all out together. I love you Charlie." Nothing still. "Goodnight."

"Night." And she felt colder. She didn't get her 'I love you too.' It was depressing.

Her bed felt empty. Her heart unfull… She was at a loss. She usually had a plan. She usually knew how to rebound, but when it came to all things Hotchner, her daughter included now, she just didn't know what came when and where to go from one second to the next. The situation she found herself in did nothing but cut into her beauty rest.

Alone in the Eigengrau of night, after tossing and turning for hours, Emily suddenly had a thought. It wasn't one she had often. Her instincts rarely told her to call this person for comfort or support. In fact, it was never a number she thought to call without good reason, but something was telling her it was right. Above and beyond everyone else, maybe this person could provide her just the comfort she needed. They were in a better place. That was enough, but if she pulled through this time, Emily would know it was real.

So she picked up the phone and dialed a number she memorized many moons ago even if she never thought to use it. "Hello, Emily?" The voice answered.

"Mom?" If she pulled through, she'd finally believed she had a mother.

"What's going on Emily? It's late there and it's early here. Did something happen? Is everyone alright?" The worry was clear.

"Everyone's fine mother." Except for her mind…

"Then what the hell Emily." It was barely passed 6 am in Paris. The ambassador was still lying in her bed waiting for the alarm.

Emily inhaled, held her breath for just a moment, and then spit it out. "I just wanted to call and apologize."

"Apologize? For what Emily?"

"I know I wasn't an easy child. And I don't think I was any easier as an adult." She confessed.

"Are you sure everything's ok dear?" That wasn't her Emily. Her Emily kept things locked away, apologized and took responsibility for her mistakes, but wouldn't willingly and randomly create situations where apologizing was necessary.

"I'm just… I'm sorry I was so hard on you."

"You don't have to be sorry Emily. You had your reasons for acting out. Lord knows I didn't make life any easier for you. Neither did your father. All the moving… It did a number on you. I should've tried harder to give you a grounded childhood. I see that now. But you turned out ok."

"I don't know about that." Emily laughed humorlessly. She was a mess. Did that constitute ok?

"I do. Look at you. You have a beautiful little girl who thinks you hung the moon." Not then she didn't. "And still, after everything that has happened between us and how easily it could've been to just not say anything about me, or worse, say only bad things, you gave her all of our good memories. She didn't have to know who I was. I was well on the way to never knowing she even existed, but you chose to rise above it and give her a better version of me than you ever had. That says so much about you and your character. You think so much about others that sometimes you get a little lost."

"I'm feeling a little lost right now." She admitted miserably.

"Tell me what happened Emily. I know in the past I haven't been there for you, but I want the chance now. I may be a few decades too late, but I'm here for you now."

She was crying again. Her mother's words along with everything else just got to her. She just needed someone; even if it was her mother. "Do you remember when I was 8 and I decided to run away."

"How can I forget Emily? The police were called. We thought you were kidnapped. Your father and I were worried sick."

"I was sad."

"I know."

"You promised we were going to stay longer."

"I remember."

"And you lied. We were barely settled in and we were leaving again."

"Yes."

"I finally made a friend."

"Isaac. I remember. He was Ambassador Bartley's son."

"He was the first friend I made in a long time and you were taking me away from him." She recollected. "I didn't want to leave. I didn't want things to change. I just wanted to stay there."

"You made that very clear."

"So I packed my bag."

"Yes, your designer luggage."

"Of course you'd remember that part." Emily teased.

"There's no forgetting that Emily. It was part of a set and we had to get rid of it after. It was ripped and muddied when you returned."

"And I was grounded for that."

"Rightfully so. That was not an inexpensive toy you ruined and you did nearly give us a heart attack."

"I honestly didn't think you'd notice I was gone."

"Emily dear, we weren't always present, but we did always try to know where you were and what you were doing." For some reason, that was a scary thought. She hoped they didn't know that at all times.

"How long did it take you to realize I was gone?" Emily asked out of genuine curiosity, not to get a rise out of her mother.

"We didn't get to check in as often that day. Both of us were in meetings because of our impending departure. So we didn't realize you were gone until we returned home that night. Your nanny thought it was ok to let you wander off."

"It wasn't her fault."

"No, of course not. You were a very convincing 8 year old."

"So I was a liar, even then?" Great.

"I didn't say that Emily."

"You didn't have to." She wanted to go back to the story. Reminiscing was easier than the present. "Do you remember what I told her?"

"I do, because it was in that moment I knew we were in big trouble." She should've known earlier. "You told her I was sending you to stay with family friends a few hours away from where we were staying. You called the car service, which I then regretted teaching you to do, and somehow managed to convince her that we assured you that you didn't need your nanny with you; that it was acceptable for you to go alone. How did you do that?"

"A girl has to have her secrets." Wasn't that the truth?

"Why that woman let my child get into a car without any adult supervision is beyond me. You could've been taken."

"She did try to call you."

"Oh, but sweet little you knew we were unreachable."

"I just wanted to stay."

"We spent two days looking for you."

"I know. That was something you held over my head for many years."

"They were two very long days and you delayed our move."

"Which was what I wanted."

"Yes, but the trouble it brought, I doubt, was part of your plan."

Emily laughed as she thought about it. "You did find me though."

"Yes, we found you in Isaac's stables soaking wet, muddy from head to toe, shivering, bruised, and broken."

"I wasn't broken."

"Emily, you hid in the stables over night, decided to take one of their horses for a joyride…"

"At least it wasn't one of their cars." She interjected.

"And you were thrown off the horse into I don't even know what. The doctor said if the suitcase you fell onto didn't break the fall, you would've sustained much greater injuries."

"But I didn't. I was ok."

"Yes. We were all ok once you were home." Somehow, she doubted that. "Emily, not that I'm not enjoying this talk, why are you calling in the middle of the night to reminisce?"

"Charlie's upset with me." She answered sadly.

"And she tried to run away?" Elizabeth guessed.

"At first, she wanted me to go with her. She started packing her bag and told me I needed to get mine." The ambassador thought that was an adorable picture, but she knew there was more to the story.

"Why were you running away?"

"There's someone in her life that she's not ready to accept."

"She'll be ready one day." Emily was surprised she didn't ask more questions. "Until then, you just have to let her feel. I didn't let you do that. Don't do what I did." It was fair advice, but Emily didn't think it'd be that easy.

"She told me she hated me."

"Oh Emily… dear. Is this the first time this happened?"

"Yes." She croaked.

"It won't be the last."

"What?!" It couldn't happen again… She'd… She'd die…

"Emily, I don't have enough fingers to count the number of times you told me you hated me or you wished I wasn't your mother. It happens and it will happen again. Just wait until she grows up and realizes that's a surefire way to hurt you." Did she really do that? "But don't take it personally."

"How can I not?"

"You know she loves you. She's just upset, like you said. So don't let it get to you. It hurts, I know, but she didn't mean it."

If only she could just pretend. "Thanks mom." She was careful not to say mother as often. It wouldn't be a habit she could break, but she'd make a conscious effort not to purposefully sting her mother. Did it though? She wasn't sure.

"Anytime Emily. Now, I'm going to make up for all those times I wasn't there and you were almost definitely up after bed time, to say get to bed Emily. It's late and you need rest too." She laughed. It felt motherly. Emily liked it.

"Mom?"

"Yes dear?"

"I like talking to you like this." Without all the added drama and purpose; just to talk.

"Me too Emily."

"Maybe…" She hated that she sounded like such a vulnerable child. "Maybe Charlie and I can come for that visit once school is on break."

"I would really enjoy that Emily. Spending time with both of my girls… I would be delighted to have you here."

"Do you think you'll still be there then?"

"If I'm not, I'll come to you. I'd really like to see the both of you. I'm not going to guilt you for keeping me from her for so long, that's the Emily I created, but I would like to make up for some lost time and see a little more of you." It was the 'you' part that Emily felt the most. As much as she assumed it would be all about Charlie, it was about her too. Her mother wanted both of them in her life. She wanted to be a mother and a grandmother…

"I think that can be arranged mom. Did you get those pictures I sent?"

"I did. Soccer I see. You wanted to play once."

"I don't remember that."

"No, soccer wasn't what we wanted you to play. We put you into dance lessons and tennis."

"I wonder if that's why Charlie likes dance; all those absurd looking pictures of me standing awkwardly in tights."

"I don't know."

"I'm sorry I woke you up just to talk."

"I'm not."

"You should try to go back to bed."

"Yes, you too, goodnight Emily."

"Good morning mother." Emily and her mother both hung up the phone feeling slightly accomplished. That was one of the best conversations they had ever had. And, surprisingly or not, it helped her sleep a little better. She was still terrified of what came next and what tomorrow held, but she slept better anyway because if she could heal even a little of the brokenness between her and her mother, she could attempt to heal the rest. There was hope when she was starting to lose it.

When she woke up alone, a little of that newfound hope dwindled. Charlie usually ended up in her bed… But, she chose to see it as her little girl growing up rather than losing the one unconditional love she ever had. The morning was starting to suck too. And she had to discipline Charlie for acting badly. And she had to face Hotch which she was hoping would be easy if she could just stuff everything, all the baggage, away when she was around him.

She knew one thing that would help ease the edge. She snuck into Charlie's room, the soft rays of sun illuminating just a bit of her ivory face. The shadows cast across her cheeks and hair whisping every which way didn't make the sight anything less than beautiful. She needed to repair what needed fixing between them. That was her only goal; well, it was on the top of the list. Until then, she needed to soak up the perfectness of the innocent. She was still Charlie. She was just growing up. That meant feelings and independence. The separation that she didn't want was something she'd have to eventually encourage. That… she didn't want to think of that. It was too far in the future to worry about when she had a full plate already.

With a last glance at Charlie, one last whiff of the still morning air, she left the room and went about her morning routine. Charlie was up and at 'em earlier than usual. Emily thought not to question it. She was up before the alarm and was getting ready on her own. Emily was ok with that; she was trying to be. She simply sat there, dressed and ready for work, breakfast just about ready to be eaten, and coffee in hand. Thank God for coffee! She was just about to plate up the food when the phone rang. That was a number she was never unhappy to see.

"Hi." She answered.

"Hello darling. Rise and shine."

"I've been awake for an hour Clyde. I've risen and I've shined."

"I finally heard your message. I'm sorry I didn't get back to you sooner. I was on assignment."

"Undercover?"

"Just a short visit."

"I'm sorry I bothered you then."

"Never be sorry. You know I'm here for whatever and I like to feel included. How's the little bugger doing?"

"You know Charlie, she's…"

"Just like her mother. So she's probably not doing as well as you'd like…" He knew her; both of them. "What can I do?"

"I don't know Clyde. I don't even know what to do. I mean, she asked if you could be her father instead… I don't know what to do to make this better."

"I'm afraid, as a father to none, I do not have the answers. But I'm more than happy to talk with her should you wish."

"She might actually listen to you." Emily deadpanned.

"She listens to you as well. She'll probably just like me better right now."

"Nice Clyde. That's really helpful."

"Aw, don't be so sad love. Tell me everything you can." They spent the following five or so minutes going everything that happened from the feelings confessional and rejected kiss to talking Doyle with the team to Charlie finding out and her reaction. There was a lot of ground to cover and not a lot of time or privacy to go over it all. But he did his best to offer what he could and Emily accepted it. "We can talk more in person. I think it's time for a trip to America, don't you? We have much to discuss on both ends." He stated a little cryptically.

"We do?"

"Yes. Something has come up that I need to share with you."

"Ok?" Did she need to be worried? At the rate they were going she'd be grayed before year's end.

"I'll see you soon love."

"Soon Clyde." With a sigh, she hung up the phone. It was going to take more than coffee to get through the day. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back after inhaling the last sip of the dark liquid.

"Who were you talking to mommy?" Emily's eyes shot open.

"That was Clyde." She stated.

"Why didn't you let me talk to him?"

"He had to get back to work, but he said he misses you and will see you soon."

"Really?"

"Yes. And in the meantime, I think it's time to talk about yesterday."

"Do we have to?"

"We really do."

"Ok."

"Sit down and eat while we talk." Breakfast, needless to say, wasn't as lighthearted and calm as it normally was. Charlie was grounded, as much as a five year old could be. Really it just meant no playing outside for the week. Emily was hoping it would be a two bird one stone type thing. It would help her behavior and, by week's end, she'd want outside so bad that when Hotch took her, she'd be more willing."Do you understand Charlie?"

"Yes." She said as she ran over to Emily and surprised her with a big hug.

"What was that for?" If she knew that grounding her meant hugs, she would've started with that approach.

"I'm sorry I hurt your feelings mommy. I really, really do love you." Emily found her arms wrapping around her a little tighter as a tear escaped her eyes. More beautiful words were never spoken.

"And I really, really do love you too." Hope… She had hope…

**No cliffhanger this time! And when or if we make it to 300 reviews, the reviewer gets another one shot. **

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**

**rmpcmfan**** Thank you. The hashing out needed to be done. Otherwise, the story would've been at a standstill forever. I kept putting it off, but it was time to write that. Well, you have your answer. It's out there. She knows… Let the games begin…**

**SouthunLady**** We talked about this, but the mixed signals were almost second nature to him. He doesn't realize he's doing it. I think I'm writing him as a terrible person and that's not my intention. Oh well… Get ready for some Botchelinum Clemmentitus next chapter. I took her out of this one, but I think she'll fit in the next one. Prepare yourself. And it felt right to have JJ confront Emily. Friends do that. **

**ramona**** Yes, that is one way. Probably not the best way, but a way.**

**dcatt**** I did end it there. That refresh button probably took a bit of a beating though, huh? I am evil. I embrace it. It works. I was told before that I'm the only angel with horns hiding under her halo. Maybe that's true. Lol Enjoy the update, apologies for the long suffering wait. **

**Celina79**** So much did happen! I like the cluttered chapters, but that could just be a me thing. There was so much about the Doyle/Lauren storyline they could've done on the show and didn't and I wanted to touch on a little of it. I'm glad you liked that. He does need to open his eyes or at least make a more informed decision after some self reflecting. **

**smiling steph**** BECAUSE I'M EVIL! Sorry, I couldn't help it. I don't use cliffhangers all that often, but when I do, they're usually important. **

**emmasong95 ****Ok, thank you. I don't want to see Emily hurt either, but I think that what happens needs to happen for her to grow and fro everyone to grow with her as a character. I cringed a little as I wrote the 'we can be friends' line. I was like, really? The bread crumbs to coupledom are laid and ready to be followed Hotch just has to pick up the trail. Get it? Just remember that as you read. And Charlie heard! Crazy stuff. (I absolutely love long reviews)**

**tiva auggie and annie hp fan** **Thank you. Enjoy the new chapter.**

**Emilyhotchnerforever**** Jack and Charlie… they always had a god relationship. You think things will change now that they know? No one likes Beth even a little. That's ok. She's not a major part of the story. But she might be in the next chapter so brace yourself. Hotch might have some BC time that no one likes. But, could it be eye opening? JJ did reveal the secret! Bad JJ!**

**Rugbygirrl**** Everyone's hating on Beth. No one likes her, but I assure you all that she has a very distinct purpose. Definitely a big oopsie on JJ's part. Uh oh! Charlie found out, and not in the best way…**

**CalleighJ**** The confrontation has been brewing and was necessary, but Charlie finding out like that… Definitely unexpected. You should be happy while you freak out because it's out, but it's not all out… Not to everyone… So a happy freak out? And thank you so much. Enjoy the update. Maybe it will help you figure out whether or not to be happy about what's happening. **

**elianaaa ****Thank you! Sorry I wasn't speedy about updating, I know it's annoying. But, super happy you love the story. As for the team… You'll have to keep reading to find out how that goes. **

**lovelyja**** Thank you, thank you, thank you! That was a good chunk of wordage you read through… That was what I was going for. As in character as I could be without them having been in the actual situation. I'm happy you feel it's accurate. It makes me smile. Glad I could be the one to restore your faith in these stories =) I love all the Aaron, Emily, Charlie, and Jack interactions too, in any combination. I find some of it adorable as I picture it in my head. And the thoughts, I think, are important to the reader because action's great, but it's also great to know why they make the choices they do without being completely overwrought with thoughts. And don't be sorry, I love long reviews. Thanks again.**

**HPforever-after**** I could see him being upset about that too, but he has other things to worry about. Uh oh… But relief is a definite. And yes, poor Emily. I think my heart broke a little for her as I wrote that. Crushed… For Beth… vomit… There are breadcrumbs that always lead the two back to each other, Hotch just has to find them… Is that at all comforting?**


	32. Getting through the Week

_I do not own Criminal Minds, only the characters I have created in that world._

**First off, thank you so much to all the readers who have been so supportive. Several of you have reached out to make sure all was ok and, honestly, it was very sweet of you and very much appreciated. And thank you to anyone who is willing to stick by the story even with the huge lapse in updating. Simply put, things have been crazy, and not in the best of ways. I can apologize profusely, and I am. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But the fact of the matter is real life happens. Things I didn't ask for nor would I wish for came into my life and took over. I can't help that. So all I can do is apologize, hope that people are still reading, and live my life writing when I can and enjoying it even if the only audience is myself. **

**Ok, now that's said, this chapter was broken in two and is mostly filler. Still, enjoy. **

Chapter 32: Getting through the Week

Monday blues… If Wednesday was a hump day, Monday was… Monday… Enough said. And a Monday after a particularly tough weekend sucked that much more.

It was a surprisingly good morning after the rough weekend though. A grounding was never taken so well. But Emily still had to face her coworkers. She had to see JJ again; her best friend who she had kind of been avoiding. The calls came almost immediately after she arrived home that Saturday and they continued to come periodically after that. Emily just needed a little space from her, not only to deal with the fallout, but to process. She deserved JJ's anger. She wouldn't refute that, but Charlie shouldn't have ended up as collateral damage to their friendly dispute. She could take it, Charlie could not…

Emily couldn't help but feel like they were gyped; like they were robbed of the chance to do it right. And the thought was only reinforced when she saw how well Jack took everything. It was the boy's character, yes, but the situation made it easier to stomach. Charlie didn't get that. She wasn't afforded that chance. She was bombarded with too much too quickly and her mind couldn't process it all. And they were left with the sadness and angst that created instead of the joy and unity they could have experienced. Because, for two children who hadn't grown up together, Charlie and Jack were very similar in nature, both strong and capable and understanding so beyond their years. That was something that could be said about all the BAU's children. So then, why did Charlie react such as she did? The only explanation Emily could see that the two would've had such vastly different reactions was the way they found out.

And she blamed JJ… a little. Mostly, she just blamed herself. Still, seeing everyone, explaining her abrupt departure and all it entailed, well, it didn't appeal to her in the least. But she made it into work like the skilled professional, adult she was and faced them all. As she passed them, she wished them a good morning and gave a brief, rehearsed apology slash explanation for her disappearance and hoped they left well enough alone. For the most part, that was exactly how it played out. They all had their own questions and Garcia said she needed a little more dirt at a later time, though Emily felt there was more to it than that, and Derek was just a concerned friend. For a profiler, Reid was never very good at reading more into her words than the obvious, which she was thankful for. With Rossi, it seemed like he accepted her words, but the look he was giving her made it seem like he knew more. She didn't doubt he did. He was Rossi after all and they weren't exactly as careful as they could've been about their many secrets. But he was kind enough to leave it at that and not push her. It was another thing that made her thankful.

Or she was thankful… until she ran into JJ. "Morning." Emily greeted the blonde after she felt the blue eyes staring at her for several long minutes of avoidance where she simply stood there and poured a cup of coffee in the break room. It was a dreaded moment. She knew it was going to come but she didn't know how it would be and what would become of it. She could feel anxiety induced gray hairs breaking through her scalp…

"Oh thank god, you're talking to me." A smile took over and relief flooded her.

"Yup." She responded curtly, not intentionally angry, but it was there.

"But you're not looking at me?" Her happiness deflated.

Emily stopped her stirring, the coffee could wait, and looked to her friend. "Hi JJ." It was plain, cordial, and lacking any real luster.

Immediately, JJ became apologetic. "I'm sorry Emily… I… I didn't mean for that to happen."

"I know you didn't." She softened a little, reminding herself that her friend really wasn't who she was angry with… mostly.

"But I… and it did… I'm just… I'm sorry Emily. I can't say it enough. I'm sorry…"

"I know you are." Emily interrupted.

"What? You do?"

"Of course I know JJ." She sighed. "I know you. I know you didn't mean for this to happen and for her to hear. But it did…" Again, she let out an audile exhale. "It did happen and she did hear."

"And I'm…"

"You're sorry. I get it JJ. I'm sorry too. "

"You are?"

"Yes. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you the truth when you asked and that I made you feel like I didn't trust you and for lying. I'm sorry for all of that… But I'm not alright with what happened." She wasn't alright with it at all.

"I'm not either. I didn't want that Em. I just… I just couldn't stop myself. I was angry and… Well, I finally reached the point where I could and had to say something… and if I had known she was there…"

"You wouldn't have said it in front of her… I get it, I really do… I get all of it. You were right to be upset with me. I've been a terrible friend to you."

"No you haven't."

"Yes I have." She admitted painfully. "I haven't been fair to you. You deserve more than I've given you." The more she said, the more she realized the BAU's break room wasn't really the place to be getting so emotionally charged, but there was no time like the present and she needed to get it out of the way in order to have one less worry. "I've kept things from you when you've given me no reason not to trust you. And I do trust you JJ. You're my closest friend." Her and Clyde…

"And you're mine Em."

"But why?" The question was rhetorical, but something she might need an answer to at some point. The anger turned into something else though, remorse maybe… It was more on her than she realized. She was never taught how to be a good friend. She never had many of her own. But she did what she could. "Why do you want me as a friend? I don't really know how to be one. Clearly… Look at where we are Jayje. You asked me a question, one you already knew the answer to apparently," and that was something she'd question more later, "and I couldn't be truthful with you. I knew you'd have your questions, but you'd give me time to answer them and I still couldn't say it. What kind of friend is that?"

"Emily…"

She wasn't done. "From the moment we met, everything I've said to all of you has been a lie."

"That's not true." JJ wasn't expecting this Emily, this emotionally vulnerable Emily, especially not out in such a public place where her coworkers could see…

"It is." She shook her head, realizing for the first time how true it was. "First it was a lie about my last job; a desk job, that's what all the paperwork said…"

"You had to do that. It was part of your cover."

"Then it was just a lie of omission. People didn't ask if I had a child and I didn't offer that information… But then you asked. You asked and I said no…I said no and I chose to lie to all of you…"

"Well, we were still new to you and you hadn't told him yet."

"But I should have and I could have… It's just I made a mess of all of this and I'm sorry. I'm sorry to everyone and I'm sure I'll have to say this so many times again, but Jayje, I'm so sorry for the lies and omissions and everything…"

"I know you are. I accept your apology Emily." That was all she wanted. "I love having you as a friend. You've been a rock for all of us."

"A lying rock…" Emily mumbled

"You've been a rock." JJ repeated with emphasis. "You're always there for us. And now you need us to be here for you again. And that's ok. We all want to do that. I'm not mad at you… anymore. Ok? I get it. I do. And I'm sorry Emily."

"I know you are JJ. I get it."

"So you keep saying."

"I just…" Emily paused. What did she need? What was she trying to say and how could she say it without hurting one of the only true friends she had ever had more than she already did?

"What?" JJ asked, looking slightly concerned.

"I just… I need a little time… Ok? I just need to figure things out for her… with me… for all of us…"

"I understand that Emily, I really do, but I'm here for you. You don't have to do this alone."

"I'm not alone." She said, though sometimes she felt that way. "This is just something that we have to figure out together; me and him… as her parents with her and without everyone else." She said solemnly, meeting the eyes of her friend. "We were going to tell her. Him and me… We made plans."

"Of course you did."

"We were going to sit her down, tell her in a way she could understand. I'm not sure what that was yet. 'I know you've had a lot of questions about your dad Charlie. But now you can find out all about him because he's right here. He's Aaron.' I didn't really know what to expect, but I had expectations. We'd answer her questions and explain things and then, assuming she took it well, we'd do something special to commemorate the moment… That didn't work out. Those expectations are gone now. She's angry and confused and sad and I don't know what would help…" She sighed. "And we have to clean up another mess. All my life is, is mess after mess… And don't get me wrong. I wouldn't change most of it. Sometimes I think I've learned to enjoy the messes. But I would change this. I would change how this happened."

"I'm so sorry Emily. I didn't mean for this to happen. I would change it if I could too."

"But you can't… I don't blame you JJ. This one's on me." She moved away from the counter she was leaning on. "I just need a little time. Ok?"

"Time from… me?"

"Yes." She answered quickly, the blue eyed woman's head falling low in hurt. Emily was quick to correct her mistake. "I mean no, not from you. Time away from this." She explained.

"I don't think I understand." At all… She was confused. "Are you planning to take some time off?" Ignore everyone…

"No, no I don't think so. That would get everyone curious and we're not ready to tell them anything yet… And I want things to be as normal as possible for Charlie and if I stay home she'll probably think I'm hurt again. And, then I'd just have ample time to stew on things… No, I just… I need us to not talk about this. If you're angry with me, then you deserve to be and I'll understand, but I can't talk about this now, not until I can work through this with them."

"I'm not… I'm not angry. I was. I was hurt and mad, but I think I did enough damage with that. Don't you?" She joked, a humorless laugh passing between them. "I just want you to know you can talk to me… about anything Emily. I wish you knew that."

"I do Jayje. I know that." She just still didn't know how to use that; how to let herself freely do that.

"Then don't push me away." It was a plea.

"That's not what I'm doing." She said defensively.

"You are." It sounded bitter. All she wanted was to be let in to the Emily fortress, especially when it involved a mess she helped to make. "I can help." She offered.

Emily's head snapped skeptically as her eyes hardened and she let down her controlled demeanor. "You have a time machine?" She sniped.

Shaking her head the blue eyed woman responded, "No…" That wasn't in her realm of capabilities but she would've if she could've…

"Then there's nothing you can do."

"I can try." She pushed. She knew she was in, but she wasn't being let all the way in.

"No…" She shook her head. "If you want to help… then just let it go."

"Emily…" She couldn't just let it go. How could she do that? How could she let her friend suffer alone when she helped cause the problem?

"Not forever… For now… Just let it go for now. Let me talk with Hotch so we can work on fixing things for our daughter. Give me a minute to catch my breath because it feels like I've been holding it all weekend. I'm just drained JJ. I'm drained and I still have so much to do… Please… please just give me this… If you want to be mad, you deserve to be. I'll respect that and when I can, I will apologize again and again until you accept it… but right now… right now I don't have it in me. I have so many skeletons being exposed and I need to dust this one off a little before we examine it for clues. So please, just give me some time to work through this, to get a little head start, and then I promise, I promise to come to you when I'm ready… I want to talk to you Jayje. I want to answer your questions and hear what you have to say, but for now I just need you to be you and pretend like you know nothing about this."

Desperation oozed off of the brunette, her posture slacking and head bowed low as her hands leaned heavily against the counter top, her body unable to hold its own weight. JJ just watched her for a moment, worried that the combined stress might actually cause the stone wall that was her best friend to collapse. Her comrade was in pain; mental pain from an emotionally grueling weekend. They all got what they wanted; answers. But this was the cost. She bared all, stripped herself naked, so to speak, and now she was crumbling. Yet, she was still a pillar of strength for everyone else. "Emily…" She attempted to find the words. Saying no, that she knew and she wanted to help, though that was right there on the tip of the tongue, would only create and uncomfortable rift in their friendship that neither wanted. Enough damage was done already without causing more. "What can I do?" That was all she managed. She couldn't quite agree to the request yet. How could she let it go?

"There's nothing you can do. Just this."

"There has to be something else."

"There's really not…" Emily moved away from the counter and faced the shorter blonde. "Look, we have a plan or… well, we have something. The rest just takes some time to sort through."

"I don't know what that means Emily."

"It means that I need you to just be you, but to not bring this up for a while. We can have lunch if you want. We can gossip like we do… Everything can be the same if you accept my apologies, but I can't talk about this right now." There was just too much unpacked clutter in her mind she needed to sort.

"For how long?"

"Just give me a week Jay… Just a week. Come Monday I'll either have great news and you'll be the person I want to share it with or I'll need my friend to listen to me gripe after I apologize profusely for the lies and mistreatment once more."

"Monday?" JJ asked cautiously. She wanted Monday to be there already, but if she had to wait just a little longer, it was ok because there was an end date in sight. There was a chance to get in the doors and once she was in she wasn't leaving ever again.

"That's all I'm asking for. Just give me a week."

"Ok Emily. I'm going to do this. I'll pretend everything's fine and we have nothing important to talk about, but at the end of this, after we get through the next 7 days, I need more. I need you to really let me in that head of yours." It was a fair demand, but it was most definitely a demand. The time had come for Emily to learn to let people in and let people be there for her.

"I'll do my best to make that happen." Emily nodded as she spoke. She would do it. She would try…

"You better Emily. I am your friend, and, I will say it time and again, I am here for you no matter what with no judgment. Your past is in the past. What's done is done. But I'm here when you need someone to let it all out to. And I'm here when you don't too."

"Thank you JJ." Emily finally felt enough weight lift off her to sip her coffee. "Want a cup?" She offered and just like that, the mood shifted.

"Oh god. Yes, please." A friendly smile on each of their face, Emily poured the coffee and they each went on about their day… Just like that, they were normal again. There they went again with that temporary band aid to hold things together. But it would last for the duration.

Things were a little awkward; a tension in the air that not everyone knew existed and, if they did, didn't know why. That would last the rest of the week as JJ took a blind eye to the situation like she was asked to and the pair of brunettes dealt with their familial issues in secret. Hotch was right about there being some hostility between him and Morgan. It wasn't intentional and he did his best to contain it, but he couldn't help that every time he looked to the darker man, he heard Charlie ask for him to be her father; _Derek_ to take his place… That was something he'd have to reconcile with time, but wasn't sure he could until things were better with her and Charlie saw him as her father.

Still, he'd try to be professional just like they all were. Sometimes it was hard because they were such a close-knit group, but they always seemed to manage and this time would be no different. It was just one day at a time, each one they got through without too much drama, a victory.

He and Emily were working on things though. She was going to wear Charlie down and Hotch was going to give her the best weekend he could. It was simple and seemed easier than it would be, but it had to work out. It just had to. Only then could things really be back to normal or, better yet, the new normal where the family was finally whole.

Monday ended as well as it could have, like an illusionist's trick where an invisible hand moved them all forward but it seemed completely on their own. By the time the day was over, all Emily wanted to do was have some quality Charlie time and possibly begin to pound out the rough edges. And that was what she was on her way to do as she gathered the few files she wanted to take with her and stuffed them into her bag.

"Heading home early?" Rossi's voice pulled her back before she could head for the door.

"Not early, just on time for once."

"Got special plans?"

"Just a quiet dinner with my girl."

"How's the little rug rat anyway?"

"Same as she was when you asked me this morning Dave. Is there something on your mind?"

"Let me walk you out." He offered, moving to get the door for her.

"Sure. Ok." She didn't see the harm in that and it was clear he wanted to talk. So about midway through the deserted walkway and tired of waiting for him to say something, she asked, "What's on your mind Dave?"

"Can't a gentleman such as myself walk a pretty lady to her car?" He feigned hurt.

"Not if he knows what's good for him." She joked, but continued to walk beside him to the elevator as he gave one of his charming Rossi smiles.

Waiting for the elevator doors to close behind them and the lift to begin moving, he turned to her and asked, "Is something going on Emily?"

"What do you mean?" And why was it they always had the "what's up" talks in elevators where there was no quick exit? He so did that on purpose.

"Why did you really leave this weekend? Is there more going on than Charlie being upset?"

"No, she was definitely upset. It was a hard weekend Rossi." Harder than even he could realize. "For all of us."

"It was Emily. I know it was. Having to talk about everything couldn't have been easy… bringing up the memories…"

"I'm ok Dave." She was quick to say after seeing where he was leading. As much as talking about all of that hurt and showing them the brand was something she never wanted to do, she did it and there was no taking it back. The pain of them knowing and the emotions of reliving it all… that wasn't and couldn't be at the forefront of her mind. She had other problems. Her personal demons could wait.

"You sure?" He asked skeptically, a telling look on his face.

"It was a hard weekend, for many reasons, but those things needed to be said. It hurt to talk about, but you needed to understand my side of what happened and see what I went through in order to understand why I put you through what I did. I'm surviving it. I'm doing ok."

"You are kid, you are." He said with a reassuring hand on her shoulder opposite the injury. "So how's your arm?"

"What?" She questioned.

"You know, the gunshot wound. How's it doing?"

Oh, she smiled. "Good, good. Healing just as it should."

"Yeah?" There was deviousness to his words. "JJ said it was still a little rough that was why Hotch stayed behind to help you out with Charlie." Her interest was properly peaked.

"Right… I still get a little pull and soreness, but it's ok."

"And there wouldn't be any other reason he'd stick back to help…" He said, a certain glint in his eyes. He was hinting at something. That much she could pick up on. It was the what he was insinuating that she couldn't discern.

She played it off as best she could, trying to stay coy. "No other reason I can think of. You?"

"None at all." But the smirk that curled at the corner of his mouth said otherwise. His mind was coming up with several reasons, the real one not quite in there, but there were some concrete theories brewing. "He left shortly after you did you know."

"No, I hadn't realized that. Huh, I wonder why. Hope it wasn't on my account." She played it cool.

"Even the guest of honor leaving early and taking a small crowd with her couldn't rain on our parade."

"I wasn't the guest of honor, but I'm glad my departure didn't ruin your good time. I don't think rain could really even rain on your parade Rossi." She teased.

"You got that right." A laugh was shared and the remainder of the ride held a much easier tone. He still knew something, that was clear and she didn't know what, but she didn't think he knew about the Charlie and Hotch connection. That'd be a bit of a stretch even for him. And she was right. He suspected there was more going on between the two, but, like others, he assumed it was them doing the lover's dance, so oblivious to the feelings they shared. And he thought many times before, of some creative ways to open their eyes. But if they were doing it on their own, all the better. Nature was going to take its course. As the elevator came to a stop on the parking level, Rossi spoke, "Tell the little lady that Dave gives her a big butterfly kiss."

A gentle laugh as the two passed through the doors, she responded, "Whatever you say you big softie."

"Watch it. Someone might hear and ruin the word of mouth I worked so hard to create."

"Bye Rossi. See you tomorrow."

"Have a good night with your daughter kid. And take care of yourself too."

"I will." She said as they parted, Rossi going in one direction, Emily the other.

Rossi was still on her mind the whole trip home. There was something about it all that made her a little worried they were about to be found out. And, that wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing, they, or she, didn't want another Charlie situation with the team. She wanted Hotch and her to be the ones to tell them when they were ready; when they had things more settled and figured out and only sooner if it was a last resort. There would be no accidental overhearing with them. If they were to know, they'd hear it directly from one of two mouths. That posed a bit of a problem though. She wasn't going to ask Charlie to lie if she saw them and she wasn't going to keep the team at a distance, probably couldn't even if she wanted to, so there wasn't much choice. They were going to have to tell the team, and soon. Step one, make Charlie understand and accept the situation. Step two, tell the team and hope for the best.

Emily got home around 5:30, just enough time to change before surprising Charlie by picking her up from soccer practice. She already told Sarah she had the afternoon off and all she wanted was some good mother daughter time. After quickly getting out of her pantsuit, Emily checked her watch. She needed to head out, no time for anything else. Grabbing her keys and locking the door behind her, she was at the practice in no time.

Arriving, she made her way to the other parents; catching up with other "soccer moms" she hadn't seen in some time. "Oh Emily, it's so nice to see you. Where have you been?" It seemed to be a running theme with those women to get as much gossip out of her as possible; the only father of the group enjoying the attention of the lonely housewives being taken off him for a bit. "Any man in your life?" They'd ask. "Where's Charlie's father?" That was a question they never failed to ask. And another would usually follow it up with, "Oh, is it that handsome guy with the accent? The Englishman?" They were the only reasons she didn't enjoy the extra time with Charlie, but even their questions couldn't ruin it.

"Mommy!" Charlie yelled as the mass of children came running towards the parents. "You're here!"

"Hey Charlie Bear, I thought I'd surprise you."

"You did." She smiled sweetly, and with as much kindness as Emily could feign toward the nosy women, a genuine parting with team dad James, the pair made their way out. "Where's Sarah mommy?"

"At home I suppose or with her friends. She had the afternoon off. It's just the two of us."

"I like it like that."

"Me too." Emily said silently to herself. "Let's get home ok."

Charlie was still grounded. That hadn't changed in the course of a day, but Emily needed to shake it up a bit to get her to be more open to the idea of spending time with Hotch. So she made the punishment a little more relaxed. They did homework together, but they always tried to do that. They cooked together, which Emily enjoyed with her but usually limited to only meals when groundings were in effect, no baking allowed, and they ate together; the last part a must if schedules permitted whether there was trouble or not.

"Did you bring me cake?" Charlie asked after dinner. "There was cake in the fridge. Is it for me?" Her eyes were wide with hunger. Girl loved her sweets.

"Sorry baby. You know the rules. No dessert when you're grounded."

"No fair." She pouted, her arms folded. "Why aren't you grounded? You were a bad girl too. But you get cake."

"Well, I'm an adult Charlie. And you may not like what happened, but I wasn't being a bad girl. I didn't break any rules or misbehave."

"Yes you did!"

"No, I did not." She sighed, resting her fork on the plate. "Charlie do you understand why you're in trouble?"

"Because I was a bad girl."

"No, because you weren't behaving. There's a difference. You're not a bad girl. You just weren't being very nice."

"I'm sorry mommy."

"Thank you Charlie. I accept your apology, but you're still grounded and I think you owe Aaron an apology too."

"No I don't!"

"Do not yell Charlie. I will ground you for another week if I have to."

"Please don't mommy. I'm sorry. I'll be good. I want to play outside and do fun things."

"I know. Let's talk about why you misbehaved. Do you know why?"

"Mommy…" She whined. "I don't want to talk. I want to play."

"Sorry Charlie, we need to talk."

"Fine." She huffed. "I don't want him to come over anymore."

"Who?"

"Mr. Hotchner." Emily cringed at the name. Well, it was better than saying him or that man… progress, she guessed. "And I don't want to go to his house ever."

"Why not?"

"Because he's not my daddy. " She said calmly… maybe too calmly.

"Yes he is."

"No. I don't have a daddy." Charlie met her mother's eyes and said, "I just have a mommy, and a Clyde and Grandma and all our friends and Uncle Sean, but no daddy."

"You do have a daddy."

"No." She said nonchalantly, like it didn't affect her as much as it clearly did.

"Yeah." Stubbornly, Charlie just shook her head. "Do you know what makes Uncle Sean your uncle?"

"Because you said he was."

"I did, but do you know why?"

"No."

"Well, Sean is Aaron's brother."

Face slightly furrowed in uncertainty, Charlie asked, "Like Jack is my brother?"

"Yes." Emily answered; glad she was accepting at least that much of the situation. "Like that."

"Did they grow up together?"

"Yeah, they did. Sean is a little younger than your dad, like you're a little younger than Jack."

"How come Uncle Sean didn't tell me he was my dad's, I mean Mr. Hotchner's brother?"

"You know baby, I think he was so excited to meet you that that really didn't cross his mind." She answered. Charlie looked around thoughtfully like she was going to find the words she wanted and the answered she needed on the plate before her. "Is there something you want to ask?"

"No." She mumbled, though clearly there was something on her chest.

"Are you sure?" Emily goaded. Charlie shrugged. "You can ask anything."

"How come…" She stopped.

"How come what?"

"How come Jack is my brother now, but wasn't before?"

"Jack has always been your brother from the moment you were made."

"But you're not his mom like you're my mommy."

"No. Sometimes brothers and sisters have a different parent."

"Do I… Do I have to share you now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you going to be Jack's mom too now?"

"I care about Jack very much Charlie." Emily said as she moved to kneel next to her daughter. "But you are my number one; my one and only Charlie Bear. And no matter who comes into our lives, we will always have each other. Jack has a mom and I'd love for us all to spend more time together, but he still has his own mom."

"Are you going to marry him?"

"Jack?" Emily asked surprised, missing the obvious person Charlie was referring to.

"No. Are you and Aaron going to get married like other mommies and daddies do?"

So much for a simple, easy, carefree dinner… "Not all parents are married. And your dad and I have no plans to be either." She seemed to accept that… for now… But the questions would come again.

And a different kind of question was about to come. "Mommy?"

"What is it Charlie?"

"How was I made?"

"What?!" Oh God…

"How did you make me? How did he get me in your tummy?"

"Well, you see… Your dad and I… we… I just wanted you so badly and I didn't even know it, so your dad gave you to me…" That made sense… right? Enough sense at least…

"Did he want me too?" She asked quietly.

"Yes, he most certainly did Charlie. We both love you so very much."

"Ok." She mumbled.

"Ok, so… How about just one bite of that cake each?"

"Really?" Her eyes lit up. Nothing could separate a girl from her chocolate, and boy did Emily feel she needed a nice bite of it.

"Yes, but just one. You're still grounded." But a mouthful of dessert meant less talk about baby making. Emily could only tackle so many touchy moments at one time. Wearing her little girl walls down to let Hotch in was hard enough without giving her false hope for a picture perfect ideal family that her father made clear didn't have them as a couple or explaining a sexual liaison with a man she only barely knew. Yeah… she wasn't anywhere near the realm of head space she needed to be in for that.

"Ok, only one." Charlie's voice pulled her from the cloud her head was in.

It wasn't a completely successful night, but they were getting somewhere. They knew it was a process and steps were being made. She really hoped that as the day neared, Charlie would be willing and open to the time with her father so they could actually have fun. Emily had faith they'd get there. She really did.

Hotch's night didn't end on such a high note. The day went well, ok at least, and when he got home after coaching Jack's practice, all he wanted to do was wind down a little, maybe even call Emily to see how she was doing, if she was ok, how things were with Charlie… well, just to call her. But as he reached for the phone, punched in her number, and was about to connect, he realized he couldn't. He couldn't do it. She asked him to give her space to work through things. He could call about Charlie, which was part of the plan, but how would he separate the two? How could he not ask about her and ask her to lean on him when they shared something as precious as their daughter? Like it or not, they were connected. He just had to be the idiot that sent out the wrong signals… or the right ones. He didn't know which it was. His mind was a mess. The situation was messy. It was all messy really.

And he still wanted to call her. He could, he decided. He could call her and get a simple update on Charlie, maybe even press his luck and see if his daughter would allow him to say goodnight… Yeah… He could do that. He should do that. He does that with Jack and just a short time ago he was there in person tucking her in. A phone call couldn't hurt… It couldn't…

He hesitated once more before hitting send, the ringing sounding through the line. "This is Charlie, who is calling?"

"Charlie?" That wasn't who he was expecting. "It's da- Aaron."

"Oh." Was all she said, hesitant herself.

"Charlie? What did I tell you about answering the phone? Did you pick up? Who is it?"

"No one." She said, ignoring the man's presence, and then hanging up. He was no one… The words lingered as he held the phone in his hand, still to his ear like it was a mistake; like she was still there ready to talk to him. But she wasn't… She wasn't…

He was… He was so beyond ready. His head in a trance, he barely made out the sound of his phone ringing and the vibration of the device in his hand/ _Emily._ That's what the ID said. "I'm sorry." She said as soon as he picked up, no other greeting but that.

"No, I am. I shouldn't have called."

"It's ok…" But it kind of wasn't.

"No, you asked me for space and I'm not giving you that if I call all the time."

She didn't disagree. It was hard for her. She wanted to pull away, but he kept holding her still, drawing her back in when she just wanted distance. "We still have a daughter. You're allowed to call. You did call for her right?"

"Uh… yes. Just for her." Everything he did was with his children in mind, well almost everything, but as much as that call was supposed to be about Charlie, it was about Emily too. He couldn't really deny that.

"Good. And she knows better. She shouldn't have hung up on you. She knows it's wrong and now she's in bed early. I'm sorry she did that." She paused, a barely audible sigh. "She's just not quite there yet."

"I know. I shouldn't have called. I knew she wouldn't want to talk to me, but I had to try." And talking with Emily like he was… he wanted that too.

"She called you Mr. Hotchner… It's a step up…"

"I guess so." It was, but that she hung up on him after simply stating who it was, left him feeling defeated.

"Don't say it like that. You better appreciate the effort I'm putting in here." She was joking, of course, but a part of her was serious too. "I almost had to have a sex talk with our five year old Aaron," a slip of the tongue, she needed to call him Hotch… "A sex talk…"

"Really?" He laughed. They fell into their easy rhythm, exchanging quips, idly talking, it was what he wanted and she needed away from. But it was easy and it felt right to be so friendly, to talk about their daughter and their lives, filling each other in on what they missed in the few hours they were without each other after they left work… But all of that went against everything she asked for and he promised to give. Emily needed space from his mixed signals and he needed to realize he either had to give that to her or admit what he really wanted letting the cards fall where they may.

Unfortunately, they weren't going to make such progress that night. They just fell into place, stuck in their ways, good or bad. And about an hour into their talk, they were interrupted. They were laughing about something or other when Hotch's door sounded. Someone was there. "Hey Em." He said as he got up from the seat he hadn't vacated once since they started talking and moved towards the door. "Hang on a second. Someone's at the door."

"Ok." Her voice sounded husky, almost flirty. He was just hearing things… But did that mean he wanted to hear that? He pushed it out of his head and just walked through his entry way, an innocent, boyish smile plastered on his face. "Better hope it's not some UnSub trying to seek revenge."

"I'd hope he'd have the brains to know knocking at my door isn't the best way to catch me off guard."

"Or it's the perfect way. Who'd expect that?"

"I guess you're right." He laughed as he pulled the door open. Not looking to see who it was, unusual for him, he said, "Hope you're not here to kill me."

"That's how you greet me?"

And then he saw her, his smile fading slightly. "Oh… Hi Beth."

"Hey Aaron." She greeted as he waved her in, the phone still at his ear.

"Just one second." He told his girlfriend. He debated what to do next. Talking with Emily like the weekend never happened was, for lack of better words, great. He didn't want that to end, but his… girlfriend was there standing in his foyer expecting some attention. Could he blow her off? Could he part with Emily? Decisions, decisions… In the end, the end of a very short battle, he knew what he had to do. It wasn't a matter of want. It was need. For her sake, he needed to do what she asked of him. "I'm going to have to hang up now. I'll see you tomorrow Emily."

"Goodnight Hotch."

"Give Charlie a hug from me, even if she's in trouble."

"I will. See you at work. Good night."

"Night." He said before reluctantly ending the call and turning the other brunette in his life. "Hi Beth. I didn't expect you tonight."

"I thought I'd surprise you."

"And you did." But was it a good surprise?

"Can I come in?" She asked waiting for some other sign he was happy she was there.

"Of course, come in." He said and ushered her in, exchanging a brief hug and a simple kiss.

"I feel like I haven't seen you in a while. And you didn't call last night like you said you would. I got worried."

"I'm sorry." He totally forgot. "Things were a little crazy." And that was the truth. He had meant to call her though. He needed to reschedule their tentative plans.

"Oh yeah?" She cuddled into him as they settled on the couch. "Does it have to do with Emily?"

"Emily?" Why would she assume that?

"Yeah, that's who you were just talking to right?"

"I was. Uh… Emily and I are having a little trouble with our daughter." He explained.

"What's wrong with Charlie?" She questioned curiously.

"She's just having a hard time right now." He didn't ever explain everything to Beth. He talked about his kids, about the good things, but he never explained the situation other than he and his wife divorced and have Jack and Charlie came from his relationship with Emily.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Not really, but the pleading look on her face, the one that says "you never open up to me" made him think it was something he needed to do.

"It's a complicated story."

"Well, it's good I'm free all night." She offered a kind smile and turned to face him rather than nuzzle into him.

"Ok…" And he told her. He gave an abridged version, of course, and details were spared, but he gave her enough to keep her content. She knew about the separation and his past with Emily, though he fudged it a bit to make things look a little less precarious. She seemed satisfied with his attempts to let her in, but she also realized how far he was keeping her. It was like he kept her at arm's length at all times. She didn't know half of what was going on in his life. She didn't like it.

"So Emily Charlie's mom and Emily your coworker are the same people?" She was only just putting that together. Emily wasn't a terribly uncommon name. She just thought it was coincidence.

That was what she got from that? "Yes. We've been working together for around…" he did the math, "five years now."

"And you have a kid together?"

"We do." Where was she going with this?

"A kid that she hid from you?"

"Not hid." Well, yeah…

"It kind of sounds like she did." Beth stated with a crinkled look on her face, not understanding why he didn't see what she did. "Here's a woman you knew for a while, slept with you, got pregnant, kept the child from you… And then she had the nerve to start working under you, became part of your team and wormed her way into your life and still decided not to mention your daughter to you… That seems like she purposely hid her to me." There was a disdain in her voice he wasn't completely comfortable with.

"It's not like that Beth. She had her reasons." He hated that he needed to defend Emily's actions, because the wound was still raw, but he needed to. Whether he agreed with what happened or not and whether or not he understood, Beth didn't have the right to judge. She didn't have kids. And she certainly didn't know their story. She couldn't understand.

"Reasons good enough to keep a daughter from her father and a father from knowing his daughter. And what about your son? Didn't he have a right to know her? What kind of woman does that?"

"Don't talk about her Beth. You don't know her. And Jack, he does know his sister. We both do. That's what matters." Maybe talking to her and opening up even a little wasn't such a good idea.

"I just don't understand why you didn't try to get full custody of her. Who's to say she won't keep her away from you again?"

"Beth, I really don't think that's any of your business and I'm asking you kindly to please refrain from saying anything more about the situation. It's much more complicated than just the facts. There were other factors and mitigating circumstances. It's not something I expect you to understand, but we're dealing with it as we see fit. That doesn't include you."

"Ok." She said sadly. "You're right."

"Thank you."

"I just…"

"Just what Beth?" He sighed.

"Well, how do you work with her everyday knowing she lied? How do you trust her to do the work you do?"

"We've had issues, even issues with that, but we worked through it. We're ok now. And we're making things work."

"Oh… ok… It just has to be hard. That's all. I don't think I'd be able to do that."

"We make it work."

"I don't doubt that." She said a glint in her eye as she moved forward to kiss him. "You're much too kind a man not too."

"My daughter is important to me." He stated, pulling away from her to put some space between them.

"I know Aaron. Your kids are all you ever talk about." His eyes narrowed. There was something about the way she said that that he didn't take as a good thing.

"Why do you say it like that?"

"Like what?" She asked innocently.

"Like it bothers you. Does it bother you?"

Laughing she responded, "God no Aaron. If anything, it makes you more attractive to know you're such a good dad." But there was still that feeling.

"Ok." He said, but he was still skeptical.

There was a bit of tension in the air, but Beth was determined to push past it and just enjoy their time together cuddled up with each other. They made do. "So, I was thinking that this weekend, instead of staying in town, we could drive up to my family's cottage. It's a bit of a trip, but it's a nice place and I think a quiet weekend, just the two of us, sounds really nice."

"It sounds great." He spoke honestly.

Perking up, she moved off his shoulder. "Yeah?"

"Yeah it does, but I can't this weekend."

"What? Why? We had plans to do a weekend for a while. What's changed?"

"They were tentative. I'm not canceling on you… Charlie's coming over this weekend."

"Can't you reschedule?"

"No." He said appalled. "This is the first time she'll be spending time here with me Beth. It's important that she feels safe and comfortable. This needs to feel like home to her. I need her to like spending time with me. And I can't cancel on her even if I wanted to. That's not how this works. She needs stability and accountability."

"Ok, ok, I get it. I'm sorry I was just looking forward to this. It was supposed to be… Well, I was just looking forward to this."

"I know and I was too, but it'll have to wait."

"We can still go to dinner right?"

"No, I'm sorry Beth. This weekend is strictly Charlie time. I'm having a hard enough time getting her to trust me again. I can't add my girlfriend to the mix too."

Again, she perked up. "But that's what I am right? Your girlfriend?"

"I think so. Am I wrong?" They had that conversation already… Hadn't they?

"Yes, of course…" A silence took over for a few very long moments before Beth spoke again. "So… Is Emily going to be here this weekend?"

"No. Well, not really. I'll ask her to come if I need to, but I'd really like it to just be Charlie and me. I want us to get through the whole weekend together without the need to cut it short for any reason.'

"So you won't be spending much time with her then?"

"Emily?" She nodded. "No, not really. She'll be at Jack's soccer game and I'll see her at Charlie's dance class, but that's it."

"I'd like to go to a soccer game sometime… maybe meet the kids one day."

"It's something we can talk about down the road." Not yet.

"You don't think I can stop by one this weekend? Just to see my man in action coaching the little kids to victory."

"We could lose."

"Who could lose with you as their leader?" The teasing continued. "Seriously though, do you think I could just pop by the game for a bit? I won't be seen if you don't want me to. I'd just really like to see you with your kids." And scope out that Emily chick.

"I'll let you know ok? It's not that I don't want you to." Though he wasn't sure he did either. "I just have to make sure Emily's ok with it first. Charlie needs to be comfortable."

"Ok, sure. That's fine… Just let me know." Her fake smile was on. She wanted to be ok with that. She really did. "Tell me, what's Emily like." He looked at her funny. Why was she asking? "… And Haley too." She added. "What are they like?"

"They're women?" What was she expecting him to say?

"I know that. But what are you like? Are they… nice?" Pretty?

"Yeah, they are. They're both good people and great mothers."

"Are you friends with them?"

"Of course. It makes things better for the kids that way."

"But beyond that, are you friends with them?"

"I guess so…" Why wouldn't he be? "Yes, we are. Despite the past, we are friends."

"Oh… great." Her smile lied. That made her a bit uneasy. She knew he came with this baggage, but she wasn't aware of how to handle it yet. She'd have to get used to it if she wanted their relationship to go anywhere. And she did want that. She just hoped he did too.

"It is." He agreed, not seeing her dejected face. She didn't want to lose him to the past, but she didn't know she could compete with it either.

The night went on without much fan fare at either household. Charlie got a good scolding for her stunt with the phone call, and Hotch escorted Beth to the car after explaining he had an early morning. And once she was gone, an act done much to her chagrin, he once again debated calling Emily. He realized that, though he'd like to and it wasn't too late, he assumed, he just couldn't. They said enough and he'd see her in the morning. Until then, he had to make it work. He would call, but try to keep it strictly Charlie just like she asked and at work, nothing would change. That was the way it had to be. Or, that's what he was trying to convince himself as he went to sleep that night.

For Emily, however, it was a little harder to just let things go. He called. He was allowed to call. She wouldn't stop him, especially not when she stressed the importance of him being consistent with their daughter. But she was angry with herself. She called back after Charlie hung up on him because she knew he'd be hurt. She needed to check on him and apologize; comfort him. But it was messing with her sanity because then they had a conversation, a friendly one, that was like old times before she stupidly blurted out her feelings like a bad case of verbal diarrhea. She was letting herself be further drawn to him and that wasn't ok. He didn't want her. He had someone else. She had to accept that. She had to try.

"Ugh." She grunted to the empty side of the bed; the side she secretly wished was his… The side she wished someone would fill someday before she ended up with empty nest syndrome and a hundred cats…

In the moment, she really wished she felt comfortable talking to JJ about her feelings for him. That's what best friends were for she assumed, to talk, do stupid things, gossip; all the things she never had friends to do with growing up. And if they were feelings for anyone else, hell even if they were feelings for Derek, she probably would've gone to JJ right away. But it was Hotch. It was Aaron and he didn't feel the same. She couldn't make things any more awkward within the team by crying to JJ about her unrequited lo-feelings.

She'd just have to wait for Clyde to show up. He was a non team member willing to listen to her gripe. Yeah… she'd talk to Clyde…

The next day was, well, just another day; more of the same yet totally different. JJ held true to her word. Though she attempted to bring it up, she quickly dropped the Hotch subject and acted normal. It was a test of her will, but they even went to lunch with Garcia at that café they frequented. Both the blondes were amused by her skilled avoidance of the sex talk with Charlie. But Emily was skilled enough to leave out the lead in to that little bombshell of a talk.

"I was so scared I was going to have to explain sex to her. God I didn't know what to say. There's only so long a kid will accept a daddy's magic bean makes its way to a mommy's tummy and grows a baby before they tell you you're nuts. And I rather I am the one to actually explain things to her and not through some other kid telling her the wonders of the human body."

"What about her father?" Garcia's oddly not Garcia like way of asking caught them both off guard. It was just… so unexpected from her. She knew things, she searched for things, and they were all aware that if she had the capacity to be hard or the stomach to handle crime scenes, she could probably do their jobs better than they could, but this wasn't her. It was so blunt and not at all sparkly. It just was. "What does he have to say about the big cowboy ride?"

Still shocked, Emily tried to muster some answer. "He… uh… He agrees she's much too young to learn about that in any way other than what she knows…"

"Anyway…" JJ tried to break the anxiety. Something was up. "I remember when Henry asked me about that." Talking her godson was a surefire way to get Garcia to be PG again. And though she knew Garcia knew about Hotch, though she wouldn't come out and admit it for some plausible deniability, she could see the secret was weighing on her. Things were going to have to come out and sooner rather than later. "He asked if he could put a baby in me so he could have a brother. When I told him that wasn't how it worked I wanted to punch myself in the face…"

Crisis averted… Temporarily… And the rest of the afternoon was simple.

Hotch called that night, again. It was an attempt to speak with Charlie. That was what he told Emily… and himself. Once again, his attempt was futile as she refused. Emily said she was warming up to him again. That was what she said when he called. But it didn't feel like that, not at all. And that night, he didn't have it in him to fight the urge to talk with her. He needed Emily's calm reassurances that their daughter didn't hate him. He needed that and he believed she was ok with doing that. But then their call got cut short. Clyde was calling. Damn Clyde…

That was when Emily learned he'd be in Virginia sometime Friday either morning or night. He planned to be there earlier and was on his way. Actually, he was already on American soil, but he had some business to take care of before he could head her way. Just a few more days… A few more days to what, she didn't know, but to something… And hopefully it was something good.

Wednesday was particularly interesting for Hotch. By that time of the week, things were in full swing. The work week was halfway through and his first weekend with Charlie was rapidly approaching. And after anxiously waiting for any word from his brother and contemplating a spontaneous trip into the city just to see him, the call finally came.

"Sean." He practically sneered as when he answered. It took him long enough to call back.

"What's with the hostility big brother? I'm just calling like you asked."

"And you couldn't have done that any sooner or picked up one of the numerous calls you ignored?"

"Where's the fun in that?"

"There's nothing fun about this Sean."

Playful tone gone, Sean spoke seriously, "You know what Aaron; I know you're the eternal good child and I'm the screw up, but I'm not the one who messed up here. That's you. So don't get all high and mighty 'this is all your fault' on me ok. Because me not wanting to talk to you and not answering… that wasn't a whim. It was for a reason."

He sighed and took a calming breath. "You're right. I'm sorry. Emily told me she told you what happened."

"Yeah…" The disdain in his voice was evident. "Sometimes, Aaron, I don't know how so many people see you as the good guy." He let out a breath. "I don't know why she wants anything to do with you."

"The truth is, neither do I. But I don't understand why this is bothering you now. I mean, that's why you've been ignoring me right?"

"And I've been busy. I know you have little faith in me, but my restaurant's actually doing very well. Not everything's about you."

"But this is."

"Yeah, it is. I don't get you man."

"What I did and what I said was done in a moment of passion. I was angry. And that doesn't make it right. Nothing I can ever do would make it right. But it's done. I can't undo it. Emily is accepting that it's in the past. Why can't you? I told you I did some pretty messed up things. And we were fine when we came to New York for the opening. So what changed?"

"We were fine in New York because that was my night. Fighting with you was not something I wanted to do then. And mom was there. You know how she likes to play peace maker between us and you know she'd have to know what it was about. You are going to tell her eventually aren't you? That's her grandkid you're not telling her about. She's old and being heartbroken about that probably won't keep her around longer."

"Are you guilt tripping me?"

"I'm trying to get you to see this doesn't just affect you Aaron! " He yelled. "She may be your daughter, but we're family too. When you turned her away you cut us off at the knees too."

"I know that. Things have changed Sean."

"How? How have they changed?"

"Emily and I are on good terms."

"Then why hasn't she said anything about that?"

"She said, out of respect for me, she kept any updates about me out of her emails except for a few things, but she has told you that I've been trying, that I've been there. I know she has. You're choosing not to see that; not to acknowledge that. You've been looking for my faults all our lives and now you've finally found one to use against me. You're not the screw up, I am. Are you happy now?"

"No Aaron, I'm not." He shook his head like his brother could see through the phone. "None of this makes me happy. I just want you to figure things out. That little girl is amazing. Getting to meet her, even if it was behind your back, was great. I see the updates Emily gives me and I can't help but think what you're missing out on because you're being a dick. You have two kids in your life now. I want to be able to see her just like I can see Jack without having to worry about saying the wrong thing and letting the cat out of the bag."

"Well, you don't have to worry about that."

"I don't?" There was surprise in his tone.

"No. Charlie knows who I am. If she doesn't already, she'll know who you are…"

"And mom too?"

"Well… when the time is right she'll know about her grandmother and mom will know about her."

"When did this happen?"

"The past weekend was a busy one. But that doesn't really matter. She knows and I'm determined to get things right. You don't have to worry about that. I want her to be a part of all of our lives forever, permanently without worry. We're working on the legality of it all, making things official and…"

"And what?"

"And, she's spending the weekend with me; just the two of us for the first time."

Skeptically, Sean asked, "Really?"

"Yes, it's Jack's weekend with Haley and Emily will help with the transition, but it's happening. It's really happening. This is what I want."

"I'm happy for you brother." His tone softened. Yes, he was angry at Hotch for his idiocy, but the way he spoke was so genuine that he couldn't hold on to all that anger. He knew what it was like to mess up and Hotch, though he liked to point out his flaws, was always there for him in the end. It was his turn to do that. This was what he wanted too; a united family. "I got to say, I wasn't sure things would work out, and maybe I'm still not. I was intent on staying angry at you for taking over my role as the bad seed."

"I could never do that." Hotch joked. There was still a heaviness between them. That was decades in the making and wouldn't be resolved by one decent conversation, but things still felt lighter. They both said some things they needed to say. "I'd have to crash the family car into the mailbox or set mom's favorite linens on fire because I was smoking pot to do that."

"Hey, those were both accidents."

"I know." He laughed.

"You're really trying Aaron? You've apologized and now you're going to make things work no matter what?"

"I am Sean. I am." He sat deeper into his seat allowing the cushions to envelope him. "I'm doing everything I can. All the papers are filled out. My name is officially on the birth certificate, signature and all. We're just waiting for all the legal stuff to be processed. I'm her dad. She's mine Sean. I'm not letting her go even if she wants me to."

Compassionately, he asked, "She giving you a rough time?"

"Like you wouldn't imagine." The hurt was still clear as day.

"Want to tell me about it?" And Hotch did. He unburdened himself to someone other than his counterpart, someone who wasn't Emily. And it helped a bit. It wasn't the same as talking to her, but he felt relived to let it out and talk about it with his brother. It felt good to have that relationship, as dysfunctional as it was. "That's tough man, but you'll get through it. I'll even send some of those chocolate your way to help you out a little. But what about the other girl, you gonna let her go?" Sean asked after

"Other girl? Beth?" He asked confused. Did his brother know about her?

"No, Emily. Wait, who's Beth?"

Ignoring the question, he asked one of his own, "Emily? What about Emily?"

"We'll get back to that. Who's Beth? Does Aaron have a girl?" Sean asked mockingly.

"I'm…" He hesitated. "I'm dating her."

"Big brother's back in the game. Good for you. Tell me about her." He wanted to know what was going on in Aaron's life. It was never his intention to push his brother away; he just needed to remove himself from the situation in order to cool down. Yes, his brother told him about the Charlie thing before and warned him he did some stupid things, but to hear it from Emily… Well it affected him.

"She works in a museum…" He gave up a few details, divulging what he knew about Beth and allowing his brother to say his piece.

"I have to say, I didn't think you'd go for a new girl. I thought you'd see what's in front of you."

"What do you mean?"

Mumbling could be heard through the receiver as Hotch anxiously waited for a response. What did he mean? "Sorry Aaron. I'm in my office at the restaurant. There's some sort of issue with our shipment. I have to go take care of this."

"Wait, what did you mean?"

"I just didn't think you'd go for this Beth chick when you have so many other options, maybe ones you can't really see."

"Why are you being so coded? You're not one to disguise what you want to say."

"Look, I'm just saying don't screw this up Aaron. Not with your kid and not with Emily. They're good people. She's good people and she's good for you. Open your eyes a little and see the possibilities with what's there. Just think about that ok. And feel free to stop by the restaurant whenever you're in New York. Oh, and call me again sometime. I promise to actually pick up."

Realizing he wasn't going to get the answers he wanted, Hotch sighed and said, "Alright Sean. Go take care of business. We'll talk soon. And ship me some of those chocolates. I think they'll come in handy."

"Will do. Bye Aaron."

"Bye Sean."

Hanging up gave him a strange sensation. He was happy because his brother finally got back to him and they were talking again. He unloaded and Sean genuinely listened. That part still surprised him. His brother always surprised him. But even with all the good that came from the call, he still felt a bit… confused maybe? He didn't understand what his brother meant about Emily and Beth. Why would he screw it up? He knew Emily was good for him. She was good for a lot of people, especially their daughter. He just… He didn't get it. It was obvious, but it flew right over his head. He didn't like that feeling. Nor did he like that foreboding yet hopeful feeling he had in regards to the upcoming weekend; the whole future really. Things needed to go well…

For the rest of the week, Emily avoided any close quarter situations that would allow Garcia to bring up the father subject again. It wasn't that she didn't want to be open with Penelope. That was her friend and if she could have no more secrets, she'd happily unburden herself. But it wasn't just about her. Hotch and she agreed they needed time and privacy to work it out without the added pressure of the team's thoughts and opinions; opinions he didn't think would boost his ego at all. And she was barely holding her head above water. Getting into it with another friend would cause her to drown.

That aside, things seemed better with Charlie. She still wasn't gung-ho about the weekend, but with every day, Emily was wearing on her. It became a very routine week, just a different routine. Emily always came home earlier; on time. She picked Charlie up from whatever the day's activity happened to be. They'd have dinner and talk. Charlie would fill her in on her day and Emily would happily listen before trying to sneak in the Hotch subject. Charlie was resistant at first, but it became progressively easier after that first Monday conversation. By Wednesday, she still refused to talk to him on the phone, but Thursday was a little different.

Dinner was over and there was no dessert, so the two girls were working on some homework when Emily asked, "Did you think of anything you wanted to bring with you to your dad's this weekend?"

"No. I don't want to go."

"We talked about this Charlie. You're going, but I promise that I'll be right here if you need me. You just let me know and I'll be by your side so fast you'll think I was magic."

"Why can't you come with me?"

"I wish I could, but this is your time with your dad. You don't need me there."

"I always need you mommy. Forever and ever, even if I have a daddy now."

A smile overtook her face. Not only was Emily hearing words mother's yearned for, but she admitted Hotch was her daddy; even if not in so many words. "I'm not going anywhere Charlie. I know things are changing and that's scary, but it's a good change. I know you never really asked me about your daddy…"

Charlie cut her off, her small finger tracing the upturned corner of her mother's mouth. "It made you sad. He made you sad." Is that what she believed?

Shaking her head and taking the girl's hands into her own, Emily was quick to squelch her beliefs. "No, he doesn't make me sad. I was sad because you didn't have something I know you wanted. It's very complicated, but he couldn't be here and I know you wanted him to be."

"No I just wanted you. Only you mommy. And maybe Clyde… And Henry… And…"

"Ok, I get it Charlie Bear. But I know you want a daddy just like all the other kids. And now he's here. So please, for me, just give him a chance. If you don't have a good time this weekend, we won't force you to do it again, but you have to try."

"Fine, but I won't like it."

"Whatever you say Charlie Bear. Do you want to talk to him when he calls?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm going to color now." She said and left the room.

And when Hotch called that night, she did refuse to talk to him. And per the routine, he still asked that she pass along his message before bedtime. "Dad says goodnight and he loves you." Emily told her. Up until that point Charlie simply ignored that statement and, unknowingly, accepted the extra hug Emily gave on his behalf. She knew she was pushing it by saying it, but it was necessary and Charlie needed to realize Hotch was a part of the everyday. He was her father, so that came with the territory.

"Ok. Goodnight Aaron." Charlie mumbled and cozied into her bed. It still wasn't dad but it wasn't Mr. Hotchner either. "Night mommy. Love you lots."

"I love you more baby." She kissed her daughter's sleeping face. "Sleep well." Making sure the blanket was on, the window wasn't wide open, and the nightlight was shining, Emily retreated to her room and stripped down for a nice, hot bubble bath and some quiet music. A little relaxing time to herself was just what she needed to wind down. There was still so much on her mind and Clyde would be arriving at some yet to be identified time the next day. But the bath helped. It soothed the day away.

Slipping into her pajamas, hair still slightly damp, Emily made her way to bed. She smiled at what she saw. Somehow, Charlie managed to sneak in and take over her bed, curled up in between the pillows in the center of the mattress. She must not have heard her over the soft sounds of the piano that she had lulling her. Her little girl was precious. Not having her there for the night would be hard. That was what she thought as she snuck into bed next to her, grabbing her book off the end table and setting the alarm.

Eyes on her little girl and phone in hand, Emily made the decision to go against her better judgment. She couldn't call him. They already talked and that had to be enough. But a text was innocent right? It was just a text and he would want to know. _Charlie says goodnight Aaron. _She sent.

It didn't take long for her phone to go off. An incoming call from Hotch, as it was listed… "Hi." She answered.

"Hey… Did she say that or was that just you trying to convince me she's coming around again?"

"I wouldn't do…"

"Yes you would."

"Ok, I would, but I'm not right now." The hand not holding her phone rested on her daughter's back as she spoke quietly. "She didn't talk to you on the phone, but this time, she said that. No more that man, no more Mr. Hotchner. You're Aaron. I know it's not dad, though she did refer to you as that earlier… That'll take time, but you're Aaron. That's a good step."

"It is."

"I know you wish it was more. But she really is coming around. She's not fighting me so much about this weekend either. It's going to work."

"You keep saying that."

"Because I believe that."

"At least someone does." He mumbled.

"Come on Hotch. We talked about this. You haven't seen her…"

"Because she doesn't want to see me. I can barely get her to speak to me."

"What I'm saying is you haven't seen her when we talk about you. She's not as tense and unsure. She promised to try. We had a good talk."

"A good talk? She's five."

"And she's smart." Emily said defensively.

"I know. I'm sorry. I'm just worried."

"Listen Hotch… Aaron. She didn't talk to you on the phone, no, but tonight was different. When I told her you said goodnight, she said it back. That's a first. So I'm just going to be grateful for that."

"Me too." He spoke softly. "I'm happy about that. I just… I want this weekend to go well so badly that… I don't know. I know I'm putting too much pressure on it like it's make or break. It feels like it is. For us, it is."

"It's not." Assuring it was not.

"It feels like it is. I just want to get it right but nothing I come up with seems good enough."

"Well, what have you thought about?" He shared his ideas; some grand, some simple, all something unnecessary. "You don't have to make this anything more than what it is." She told him.

"It has to be special. She has to want to come back."

"She'll want to. She will. You don't have to make some big spectacle. Spend time with her, maybe take her to the park or show her some place you like to go. Find something you both like and do that. It can't and it won't be some huge ordeal every time she goes over there. Simple Hotch. Keep it simple."

"Simple… I can do that."

"Ok…" She paused and listened to the sounds of his overanalyzing brain. "Hey. Did I mention Sean finally responded to one of my emails?" She needed to put an end to it.

"He did?"

"Yeah, I know you said you talked to him and I should expect something, but I don't know. I've been sending things fairly regularly and he rarely responded."

"What did it say?"

Pulling up the email on her phone she read. "Uh… It said, 'Emily, she's cute and getting cuter every time I see her. She has her uncle's looks I think. Definitely not my brother's. You know I'm kidding. She's all you and that's a good thing. I look forward to seeing her again. I'm trying to make some room in my schedule to head down your way. Maybe I can take the two kiddies camping like Aaron and I did as a kid. And hey, I'm sorry I haven't been the best at responding. Busy, you know, with the restaurant and all, but I also just needed to step away (not from you or her) just so I wouldn't be so angry at my brother. He's an idiot sometimes, but at least he's willing to admit it and try to make it right. Keep him in check ok?" She skipped over a small section of the email at that point. It wasn't meant for him to hear and it wasn't something she wanted to reread. She was supposed to be letting him go not finding even more reasons to hold on. "I promise to be better about keeping in contact. I've been told I'm an awesome uncle. What do you say, a special delivery from the dessert menu shipped first class over night? The chocolates seem to be a Prentiss favorite. It makes a great apology don't you think? Alright, duty calls. You know how that is. I'll make time Emily. Tell Charlie I said hi. Talk soon. Sean.'"

"He said he'd send me chocolates too. To bribe Charlie into liking me again…"

"I don't think that'll be necessary."

"We'll see."

"Yeah, we will. We'll see I'm right." She yawned. It was getting late and that relaxing bath only made her more tired.

"Hope so." They continued to talk back and forth. He told her more about the conversation with his brother, even brought up the possibility of introducing Charlie to his mother, officially as her granddaughter, sometime in the not so distant future. Emily agreed that was important, but they decided he needed to get Charlie to like him again first without meddling mothers around. There was no arguing with that. "I know my mother will be happy to have her in the family. I don't think one person who Charlie has met hasn't been instantly taken by her."

"Charlie will love her too. They really hit it off when they met, so I don't see that changing." She responded, unconsciously sinking into the bed as he talked.

"… And I was thinking about what to tell the team. I'm not ready for them to be involved more than they are. JJ's occasional looks of disdain through the office window are bad enough. We're all such strong personalities and I know Morgan will have an opinion. They only know me as the bad guy. And I guess I am, or I was, but, even though I'm sure they wouldn't do it purposefully, I don't want Charlie to hear such low comments about me before she has the chance to decide for herself what kind of father I am." He continued talking, rambling a bit, completely unaware of the sleeping brunette on the other side. "Emily… Emily? Are you there?" He listened carefully to the soft breaths slow and just barely heard through the receiver. "Are you asleep?" Adorable he thought. "I wish I was there." He said knowing she wouldn't hear him. He should've hung up then, but he didn't right away. Instead, he lust let the calming noises of her sleeping self to soothe him. Too long would've been creepy, but just a minute or two was enough to make him feel like things would be ok. They would. She would see to that; he had no doubt. "Goodnight Emily. Talk to you tomorrow." He said.

And as he was about to end the call, he heard a sleepy little voice ask, "Is someone on mommy's phone? The light is on it and I heard voices. Who's there?"

"Charlie?" He asked, trying to get attention of the scared girl.

"Who are you?"

"It's ok Charlie. It's just me, Aaron."

"Oh." She rubbed at her eyes, the late hour wearing on her.

"I'm sorry if I scared you. I was… I think mom fell asleep while I was talking to her."

"Mommy did. Her eyes are closed and I can hear her breathing."

"Ok. It's late Charlie. You should go back to bed."

"Ok." She said and snuggled up to her mother's warm body.

"Bye Charlie. Goodnight."

"Wait!" She yelled, quietly enough not to wake Emily.

Panicked, he asked, "Is something wrong?"

"No." But her voice said otherwise. She was timid and quiet as she asked, "Will you be nice to me?"

"What are you talking about Charlie? Have I been mean?"

"No. When I go to your house will you play with me and do fun things with me?"

"Of course Charlie. I can't wait to do so many things together, just the two of us."

"And if you're no fun I can go home to mommy right?"

"I promise. If you want mommy, I'll make it happen."

"Ok." Her eyes were getting hard to keep open. "Night Aaron."

"Goodnight Charlie." He gave her a second, waiting to hear the telltale soft snores before whispering, "Daddy loves you." With a new found belief that all was going to be fine, he hung up the phone just hoping she heard him and believed that he truly loved her.

Overall, it was a good night; the best one all week.

In the morning, Emily woke up before the alarm to Charlie nestled into her side, the blanket almost completely covering her tiny form, and her phone resting between their two heads. Then it hit her. She was talking to Hotch when she fell asleep. She'd have to apologize. She didn't realize how tired she was or she would've politely ended the call or at least tried harder to stay awake. Falling asleep on him was just… embarrassing. But she'd deal with it. In the meantime, she'd have to push it out of her mind and get ready for the day.

Not knowing when Clyde would be arriving, he was one for surprises, Emily wanted to get to work a little early for a head start on the day's paperwork. And, cases permitting, she was hoping to cut the day short as well to spend a little extra time with Charlie before she went to Hotch's and the house became kid free. She didn't like the thought. Shaking it off, she slipped out of bed, careful not to jostle the girl too much, and prepared for the day. Clothes, coffee, extra coffee, and then breakfast. She went with simple. It was a Friday, it was early, and Charlie really wasn't all that picky. So toast toasting and eggs cracked, she woke up Charlie and got her day started too.

Sarah arrived just as they finished eating. Since she didn't know when Clyde would show up and she wanted to get to the office, she asked Sarah to come that morning to take Charlie to school. She didn't like losing that time with Charlie, but they could do more when they were fully awake in the afternoon than when they were half asleep in the morning trying to prepare for the rest of the day. "Thanks for doing this Sarah."

"No problem. You gave me the afternoon off the other day and I'm not working tonight, this is the least I can do since you're paying me anyway."

"Still, thank you. I know it's early."

"I was up."

"Ok. Clyde might show up at some point. He likes to come with no real notice, so if he pops by, don't be alarmed. He'll let himself in with his key. But if he thinks I'm the only one here, he sometimes tries to scare me, so just be weary."

"Alright." She laughed. "I'll keep an eye out."

"Great. Um…"

"I have this Emily. I know you usually take her in the mornings, but I've done his before when you're away. There's nothing to worry about."

"Ok. Thanks again."

"No problem. Go."

"Charlie!" She called. "Sarah's here and mommy's leaving."

"You're not taking me to school?" She asked as she ran into the room, stopping right in front of Emily.

"Not today." Emily answered.

"Do you have to go away again?" She really hated the sad eyes.

"No, I just need to go into work a little sooner today, but we'll have all of tonight together to make up for it."

"We will?" Sad eyes gone.

"Yeah and there might be a surprise for you too."

"Really?!"

"Yes, now give me a hug so I can go."

"Love you mommy. Be good at work. No ouches. Ok?"

"I'll try my best. Have fun at school and learn lots of things."

"I will. Bye mommy."

"Bye Charlie." She walked away, sending a wave back to them. "Bye Sarah."

When she got to Quantico, it was populated little more than a ghost town. She passed the occasional person on her journey to the BAU floor, but it was still early enough that the only people there were the ones that had to be and the workaholics who chose to hide away there. Whatever the reasons, anyone there was already hard at work and not wandering the halls. Maybe her mind was just thinking too much. Why did it matter where everyone was or what they were doing? She has been there before both earlier and later than she was then. She knew what to expect. So why was it suddenly food for thought?

Her mind was so scattered with all things unimportant, she didn't notice the figure heading her way. The figure, lost in their own thoughts as well, didn't notice her either. But both got a somewhat unpleasant wakeup call when they crashed into each other, their combined belongings falling wildly about the floor. A grumbled "I'm sorry" came from each of their mouths as they reached to pick up their things. At least she finished her coffee in the car.

Finally, the two caught each other's eyes. "Hotch?"

"Emily?"

"Hi."

"Hi." They were like an awkward pair of exes who still wanted each other but found reasons not to be with each other. It was just… weird. "Sorry I knocked you over."

"No, it was my fault."

"Let me help you up." He said and offered her his hand.

"Thanks."

"What are you doing here so early?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

A soft laugh, he answered, "I'm hoping to get out of here on time today."

"And here I was trying to get a head start so I can get done early. I don't know, my boss is a bit of a stickler for the rules."

"I'll see if I can work on him for you. Seems like a hard ass." He joked.

"He is."

"Hey."

The playfulness was simple between them, natural, and it wasn't stopping as they made their way through the last of the hallway and through the glass doors. "Are you denying it sir?"

"No. I don't think I can."

"So I'm sorry about last night." She said after the calm took over.

"Last night?"

"Yeah, I fell asleep on you." Her cheeks flushed a pale pink in embarrassment. She didn't understand why she was, but she was.

"Oh, don't be sorry. You falling asleep was the best thing that could've happened."

"Excuse me?" She asked confused. Should she have been offended?

"I'm sorry… It's just that… Well, Charlie picked up your phone and we talked."

"It was a good talk?" Emily inferred but still questioned.

"Yes."

"That's all I get?" She asked as they stood outside his office. No one else from the team was there yet.

"Come in."

Nodding as he held the door open for her, Emily said, "Ok."

"You were right." He said as he closed the door behind her.

Eyes scrunching in slight confusion she asked, "About what?"

"Everything. You were right about everything."

"Not that I don't love all of this, and telling a woman she's right about everything is great, but you're way too perky. Why? And what was I right about?"

"Things are going to be great this weekend. We're going to have a good time and Charlie's going to come around. I know it. We just had to give her a little time."

"That must've been one hell of a late night talk you two had." How did she sleep through that? She was a fairly light sleeper. "How long did you guys talk? It was a school night you know. And what did you talk about?"

"It wasn't a long talk, but she called me Aaron and hearing that from her and not from you made it better. And she seemed ok with the thought of spending time with me." He gushed. "We discussed some things and I'm… I'm excited Emily. I'm excited for this weekend. I'm excited to spend time with her and get to know her as my daughter and as her father. "

"I'm excited for you." She said with a smile. Watching him so happy and hopeful made her feel more of that too. "Her too. I know she wants this just like you do."

Her smile warmed him, and though he yearned to reach out to her and hug her, to do something to show his gratitude and immense… care for her, all he came up with was, "And I wanted to thank you."

"For what?"

For so much… "I know she wouldn't have given me this chance if it weren't for you. You said you'd get her there and you did." He found her eyes and held her gaze. "So thank you Emily."

"You're welcome Aaron." The stare becoming too much for her, she took a subconscious step back and attempting to avert his gaze and focus more on the topic at hand. "Did you figure out what you're going to do yet?"

"I think I've come up with a few things."

"Care to share."

"Maybe later." He needed to be solid about his plans and have a settled back up first before sharing it with her.

"Ok. Then I guess I better get to work like I planned so I can skip out without worrying about the boss getting on my ass." Inappropriate… so inappropriate.

"You do that." Thankfully, he just smiled and nodded rather than read too much into her awkwardness.

"Right, I'm going to…" She made another awkward hand gesture as she walked to the door, practically running into it on her way out. Could she be anymore juvenile? Gosh, she was like a teenager crushing on the senior boy who she knew she couldn't have but still wanted. "Control yourself." She scolded her mind. "Or at least stop embarrassing yourself."

She kept repeating it over and over to herself, just forcing herself to concentrate on the paperwork and case files on her desk. Just like so many other things, it was harder than she thought. He was on her mind. He and Charlie were on her mind. Telling the team was on her mind. Her inane awkwardness was on her mind… So much was brewing in there.

"You look flustered." She knew that voice, it wasn't Hotch.

"Clyde?" She turned from her desk to face him, her mind still so full, but room enough for him. "Look at you." She gave him a big welcoming hug. "You're all scruffily." Her hand ran over his facial hair. "For assignment?"

He nodded and said, "No time for a proper grooming. I think I'm keen."

"You should keep it. It's sexy."

"Ah yes, that's what I like to hear." He joked.

Still smiling, but sitting back down she asked, "What are you doing here?"

"I told you I'd be arriving today, did I not?" Smug as usual.

"I meant here, here and so early."

"What's it you Americans say? The early bird catches the worm. Or in this case, the earlier bird gets the upper hand."

"You call this the upper hand?"

"You are surprised so, yes Love, I do."

"Ok, you win. You got me." Her hands went up in mock surrender.

"Good of you to admit Darling. It's good to see you."

"And apparently," she changed to an accent that mimicked his, "we have much to discuss on both ends."

"Lovely. You were always good with that."

"You flatter me Clyde."

"Don't let it go to your head."

"Look who's talking Mr. Ego."

His Cheshire grin taking over his face, Clyde sat down on her desk. "So what was on your mind?"

"What's not?" She huffed, turning her chair back toward him.

"Does it involve him?" He tipped his head to the office she only recently left and that was now empty as Hotch seemed to be making his way over.

"Be nice." She warned him.

"Always Love."

"Clyde, didn't know you were stopping by." Hotch said as he approached them.

"Wasn't aware I needed to fill you in on my travel itinerary." He said snidely.

"Ok." Emily abruptly stood between the two males sensing the testosterone storm they were producing. "Hotch, Clyde's in town visiting me and Charlie. Don't worry. His arrival doesn't change the plan. Charlie still goes to your house tomorrow." She moved her pointed eyes to Clyde. "And Clyde won't interfere with that. Will you?"

"Of course not Love."

"Good." She looked to them both. "Ok, so now that that's over, Clyde was just leaving."

"I was?"

"Yes, I have work to do. You have a key. Let yourself in." She hugged him again and said, "I'm glad you're here." Letting him go she said, "Now go. I'll see you later."

"Goodbye Agent Hotcher. It was a pleasure seeing you again." Hostility in cordiality…

"You too Clyde." Apparently it was a skill they shared as he spoke through clearly gritted teeth. "So he's staying with you?" Hotch asked after Clyde passed through the doors.

"Yes… Is that a problem?"

"No… No, it's not." He shook his head. "Are you and he… have you two ever… Are you…"

Eyes scrunched and brows furrowed, Emily asked, "Are you asking if we're together?"

"What?"

"Because I don't think you have the right to ask that. I mean, why would you care? You're dating Beth."

"Right. I was just… Right." He moved away. "See you at the briefing." And with that he shooed away to his office and away from the awkward. The day promised to be different.

Hotch seemed a little lighter the rest of the day, but still so tense. He gave her the occasional mix of a questioning, hard glare and relief filled happiness. It was confusing. Thankfully, no one else seemed to pick up on it, and if they did, they assumed it was an anomaly not worth mentioning. Well, there was JJ who seemed to notice it and kept looking between the two, but she kept her mouth shut. Just another thing to add to Monday's list of things to talk about; it was growing.

She decided to worry about that later. There were still a few says to get through and Clyde had something he deemed serious to discuss with her. Who knew what that could be… In the meantime, she was just doing her job, praying there wasn't a case, and watching the minutes tick by. When the clock struck three, her files were filled and filed, the stack of manila folders diminished to none, there had yet to be a case, and she was itching to get out of there.

Could she? Could she just make a run for the door and hope for the best? No, she couldn't do that. But, she could suck it up and go ask Hotch even though they had barely spoken two words since that morning that weren't case related. Yeah, she was a big girl. She could do that.

Thankfully, she was spared from having to build herself up with another private internal monologue. Hotch walked down the steps that separated the offices from the bullpen and walked directly to her desk. "I thought you had an appointment in a half hour. What are you still doing here?"

"An appointment…" She nodded catching on to his act. "Yes, I do. Thank you for reminding me. I don't want to be late."

"Of course, you better go then."

"Thank you she said quietly to him as she pulled the strap to her bag over her shoulder. He nodded and headed back to his office.

"Hey now Princess, where's your skinny butt think it's going."

"Doctors appointment." She stated simply waving to him. "See you Monday." Immediately, she raced toward the door without making it look like she was running. She wanted to get home and she wanted to get there before having to explain where she was going to any other team members.

It worked. And she had just enough time to make it to the school and pick up Charlie. Of course, she was excited to have her mother there. That was always something she enjoyed especially since it was usually Sarah who got her, the girl's memory was golden and she kept asking what the surprise was. "Were you my surprise mommy?"

"No." Emily answered.

"Then what is?"

"You'll see when we get home."

Then there were a million and one questions and a few random guesses. Charlie covered her bases. Big, small, furry, doglike… they were all questions she asked. But, for a girl with great memory, she forgot that Emily told her Clyde would be visiting them soon.

When they finally got home, Emily made a show of it. Walking through the door she called out, "Anyone there?"

"I'm right here mommy. Who else would be there?"

"I don't know." She said coyly. "Why don't we check?"

"Check where? No one's home. We're the only ones who live here mommy. Duh."

"Are you sure no one else is here?" Emily asked with a smirk as she took her daughter's bag.

"Yes."

"Really sure?"

"Uh huh."

"I thought I heard some ruckus in here." The Brit said as he approached.

Charlie's eyes going wide and teeth glittering through parted lips, she yelled, "Clyde! Mommy, Clyde's here!"

"I know." Emily bobbed her head and watched as Charlie ran into the sandy blonde's arms.

"How are you my Darling?"

"I missed you Clyde."

"I missed you too." He said as he held her tight.

"Are you staying?"

"For a bit."

Now back on the ground she looked to her mother, "Does this mean I get to stay home?"

"No. Tonight we'll all spend some time together, but you'll see Clyde again once you get back."

Pouting she said, "But you'll have fun without me."

"Darling, how could we have fun without you? It'll be all dull without the Charlie monster."

"No tea parties?"

"None whatsoever."

"Promise?"

"Would I lie to you Lady Charlotte?"

"Never!" She laughed. "Will you come play with me now?" She faced her mother again. "We can play right? You too?"

"If that's what you want. You are officially not grounded."

"Really?!"

"Yes, let's play." Emily encouraged, hanging the back pack up and joining in on follow the leader as Charlie dragged Clyde behind her.

They three of them dressed up in costume for an extravagant "proper" tea party. Clyde, much like Aaron had been, was always a good sport about it, even when she went all out. They played outside, something Charlie was anxious to do almost immediately after the ban was lifted, the adults acting like kids right along with her. And they finished the night with some take out and a movie until Charlie fell asleep on the couch. It was a fun night, even if Clyde was itching to talk to her and her to him. It would happen. Things were just different that day.

It wasn't their normal routine, but it was time to alter it. Assuming all went well over the next few days, and even if they didn't, the routine was bound to change. He was part of the equation and they had to make room for him. Sometimes that would mean losing other things and sometimes it would be gaining. But the fact was things were changing. For the better though…

"I better get her to bed. Tomorrow's going to be a busy day for her."

"Ah, going over to play house with daddy."

"Be nice Clyde."

"When am I not?" She just gave him a pointed look. "Ok. Let me carry her up. You do what you'd like Darling."

"Thanks Clyde."

As Clyde carried Charlie to her bedroom, Emily broke out the wine. What was one glass between friends? "Red or white? Red or white?" She contemplated.

"Talking to oneself is not a very good sign."

"Jesus Clyde." She jumped.

Sly smirk on his lips he said, "Let's go with this one." He took a bottle from her hands and poured into the glasses.

Settling down, both in loungewear, the two simply sat back and relaxed. "You said you wanted to talk about something." Emily stated as she swirled her wine.

"Not tonight Love. Tonight we drink."

"Like the Brits do." She joked.

"Yes. We have later for talking. Now we drink."

"Here here." She raised her class. "Are we drinking to anything in particular?"

"To the future Darling. To new things that come our way and the changes life brings."

"Well… ok. I can drink to that." Even if it seemed to carry more weight than she cared to analyze right then…

And for a little while after that, they just enjoyed the company. They talked about old times; reminiscing and teasing about the first case they worked. It was in that moment Emily wished she could feel a love for him different than the one she felt. He was her friend, more than that even, but she didn't feel for Clyde the way she felt for Aaron. If only she could just transfer feelings…

"You live in your mind Emily, always thinking."

"You give me a lot to think about Clyde."

"So I do." And he was going to give her more later. "But you look tired. Maybe a good night's slumber is in order."

"Maybe."

"Off to bed then."

"You're bossy today Clyde."

"You like it."

"Maybe I do. You'll never know." She teased. "Your room's all set, but I'm sure you know that and you know where everything is. Help yourself." She got up and walked over to him giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Goodnight Clyde. I'm glad you're here."

"Me too. Goodnight darling." Emily escaped to her room and after a brief conversation with Hotch, succumbed to sleep.

The morning was complicated. It was D-day… Saturday. Her baby would be gone for a whole weekend… It was something that happened before and would happen again. Charlie had sleepovers and with cases they spent some time away. But it just felt so different; so permanent. She had to get over it. She had to.

The smell of breakfast was helping… kind of. "Look who cared to join us Charlotte."

"Mommy look. He made Craps."

Laughing, Emily corrected her, "Crepes."

"Mmhmm. And they're yummy."

"They are."

"I remembered you liked them. Thought it'd make the day a little easier."

"Thank you Clyde. You always know what I need."

"Sit down and eat Love."

"Still bossy."

"He's a bossy pants mommy. Like you."

"Like me?"

"Yup."

"Ok." She just smiled and accepted the plate that was handed to her wondering why everyone else was up earlier than her. "When you finish, go get ready for dance ok?"

"Ok."

"And make sure you pick out a few toys you want to take with you to Aaron's." Emily was waiting for the protest, but it never came.

Instead, Charlie quietly looked to Clyde then back to her mother and simply, almost resignedly, said, "Alright." The look they shared didn't go unnoticed, but she didn't want to press it and change Charlie's mind.

"Great, thank you."

"I'm all done. Clyde fed me a lot. He said I had to eat plenty so I can get big like you and dance like a ballerina without breaking any bones."

"Well I guess you have to listen to him then."

"He said I should. He knows things."

"I bet he does… Ok. Go brush your teeth. I'll be up as soon as I finish my coffee."

"Ok."

When Charlie was gone she asked Clyde, "You talked to her. What did you say?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"You'll tell me eventually."

"Another talk for later I presume."

"Absolutely. An interrogation… I need to know for future reference."

Taking the last sip of her coffee and finishing her breakfast, Emily made move to clean the dishes before helping Charlie. Clyde quickly shooed her away, and though she didn't normally allow guests to do such tasks, he was more family than guest and the morning was just getting away from her.

When she got to Charlie's room, the girl was sitting on her bed, dressed in her dance outfit, hair a mess, and surrounded by a mountain of toys. "I didn't know which to choose." She said when she saw Emily stare seriously. "Can I take them all?"

"That's way too many Charlie Bear. How about I do your hair and we'll talk about what to bring?"

"Ok."

Emily sat behind her on the bed, gently lying the hair ribbon down and brush in her hand. She gently ran the bristles through the rich mane and tamed the waves. "Who will brush my hair when I'm with Aaron?"

"Well," she said, "I guess you can do it. Or, you can ask him."

"Would he want to?"

"Yes, I know he would."

"But what if it hurts?"

"Then you tell him to stop and show him how you like it so it doesn't hurt again."

"And if it still hurts, can I call you?"

"You can call me whenever you want. Mommy's not going anywhere, but it's important that you try to have fun."

"I know." Her shoulders slumped. "Clyde said that too."

"He did, did he?"

"Yeah…"

"You'll have a good time. I know it."

"But I can come home if I don't right?"

"Yes." But, as much as she wanted Charlie with her, she hoped that didn't happen.

"I'm scared." She said quietly, mumbling as she leaned back into her mother.

It's ok to be scared. But you don't need to be. If you need me, I'll be there for you in a heartbeat, but Aaron loves you. He just wants to spend time with you and be your dad."

"I have to be brave."

"You just have to be you, no matter what that is."

"I can do that."

"I know you can."

Finishing up her hair, the two finished packing her bag. Two toys were selected. "And I have to bring Jazz." She said.

"Of course." Emily agreed. Ultimately, Emily over packed. She wasn't sure what she needed for what Hotch had planned. He called and they went over his ideas, but what if what she packed wasn't enough? Did he have clothes there? Did she need to give him some? She was unsure how it all worked, but she was an excellent packer and it would be figured out. It was a trial and error period.

As Emily was collecting all the things Charlie would need for her soccer game, the girl asked, "Are you still going to watch me play? I like when you come."

"I will be there Charlie. I wouldn't miss it. And after, I'm going to go with you and Aaron to watch Jack play. Won't that be fun?"

"I guess."

"I think we have everything." Emily declared to an unreacting Charlie. She was nervous. They all were.

"Go get your shoes on and say goodbye to Clyde. I'll be right behind you."

Gathering her purse and changed into something more appropriate for the public, Emily took Charlie's bags and made her way downstairs just in time to overhear the other two occupants talking.

"You can't leave until I get back. You promised." Charlie said.

"I did. I will be here Lady Charlotte, dressed in my finest for a lovely tea time."

"Ok. I like that. Lots of tea." She gave him a hug, wrapping her little arms around his neck. "Bye Clyde. Love you."

"Love you too poppet."

"Ready Charlie?" Emily said, breaking the lovely moment.

"Yup."

"Let's go." She swatted her daughter's butt playfully to get her going. "See you when I get back Clyde."

"Alright Love." One text sent asking Hotch if he still planned to be there for the whole class and then they were off. Emily took the car ride to finish preparing Charlie for what was to come.

That morning, Hotch was a barrel of nerves. Charlie would be coming over. Presumably, the whole weekend would be just the two of them. Emily made it clear that if Charlie got too uncomfortable, they'd cut it short, but that she wanted them to have the time together and she would help facilitate that. The plan was to add small doses of her into the equation. Emily would still be at the soccer game and agreed to hang out with Charlie at Jack's since his was later in the day and the whole thing would start after dance class. That was the plan.

Emily figured that would be neutral territory. She'd sit through the class, though he was more than welcomed to join, and then they would say their goodbyes. Charlie would go with her father and she would go home…To a Charlie free home… That, she wasn't looking forward to; being home alone without her for two whole days… At least there was Clyde… and booze…

But that was all an issue for later. He worked up the courage and walked with his head held high, into the dance class, eyes searching for his girls. "Over here." Emily called. He followed the voice and then moved to the benches she sat on. "Glad you could make it."

"Happy to be here." He returned the sentiment and took the seat next to her.

"I've got her bags in the car. We can grab them after." Emily said after the class was in full swing and most of the parents dwindled out.

"Bags?"

"Yes Hotch, more than one. Even at five, she's still a girl. And, I wasn't sure what you'd have there, so I packed extra. There're some clothes in there I labeled and I figured, you could keep them at your apartment for her, help her feel more at home. There are some toys too, but they come back with her. I'll go through the play room to see what she can keep there too."

"That's great. Thank you so much Emily."

"Still, there's not too much in there, so you still need to do a little shopping or make a list of what you need so I can pack more for next time."

"I appreciate that."

"And on top of her clothes there's a file."

"A file?" Why did she need a file to come over?

"Yes, it contains a list of allergies, doctors' numbers, and all the necessities, just in case, but I'd expect a phone call before that's needed. What else?" She asked herself. "Oh, make sure Jazz is with her wherever she sleeps. If she wakes up without her, it won't be pretty. And she might want to cuddle but she might be nervous about asking, so…"

"Emily, it's going to be ok. Take a breath." He was supposed to be more nervous than her. Why was she so nervous? And how was he so calm? Internally, he really wasn't. The butterflies were on overdrive.

"I know it is. I just want you to be prepared and have fun."

"I'm going to do my best."

"And she will too."

"So we'll be fine."

"I know. You'll call me if anything…"

"If she so much as stubs her toe you'll know about it." Class was ending and parents were coming back. "I promise. Nothing happens that you don't know about."

"Thank you." Their hands found each other. "I know she's in good hands."

"This is going to work."

"It's going to work."

The music that was playing stopped and pulled their attention. A group of 20 girls and boys all clapped and pranced their way toward the growing group of parents and other adults. "Showtime." Emily said, just hoping they were as prepared as they thought.

A perky smile on her face, Charlie greeted them both, hugging her mother's side and shyly saying, "Hi Aaron."

"Hi Charlie. You're a very beautiful dancer."

"Thank you."

"Do you have your dance bag?"

"Uh huh."

"Ok, then let's go out to the car and get your things."

The family left the studio and moved to the parking lot where they switched out Charlie's dance bag for small luggage. She didn't travel light. "Ok Charlie. I think we're all set. Are you ready to go to the apartment?" He didn't want to say my apartment. It was there's and Jack's even if it was tiny and not at all big enough anymore. He'd have to work on that.

"I… I think."

"Ok Charlie," Emily started, bending down to Charlie's height, "Aaron's going to take great care of you and I'll be home if you need me. Just tell him and he'll call."

Nodding, she looked up to her mother's eyes and asked, "Will you be sad without me here?"

"I will." She answered honestly.

"I don't have to go if you'll be sad. I'll miss you and you'll be lonely. I can stay with you so you won't be lonely. I don't want you to be alone."

"I'll be ok Charlie. I'll miss you, but Clyde will keep me company." Hotch cringed at that. Damn Clyde.

"Are you sure? I can stay."

"I'm sure baby. You'll have fun and I'll be ok. Don't worry at all."

"You'll call if you need me?"

"I'll call anyway." She said and pulled Charlie in for a big hug.

"I love you mommy."

"I love you too." She said, speaking into her daughter's hair reluctant to let go. But she had to. "Have fun Charlie. I'm always here if you need me."

"I know."

"Be a good girl."

"I will."

"Ok, go with Aaron." She said near tears. It was just, so hard…

Watching them walk away felt surreal. It was like the end of an era. For so long it was just the two of them. There was no one else to really consider and no one else that fit into the equation. But there was an addition now and that addition came with a subtraction of time. It was one big math problem they were living. But she knew it was different. It was the end of just the girls. Or it was the beginning of what should have always been. She didn't know which way to see it or how she really felt in that moment.

But she was off now. Charlie and Hotch were on their way to his place and she was just happy she'd be going home to Clyde. It was a change, but thus the weekend began… Oh boy…

**For the 300****th**** reviewer, who was technically 301 because 300 was a guest who I could not PM, the one shot should be up within the next few days. That's my next project to tackle. And next chapter, I promise some fluffiness and mighty cute family moments. **

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**

**SouthunLady**** As always, thanks for your kind words. I think people were expecting the bad reaction from Jack, but it felt right to write it the way I did with him being the natural big brother. But that doesn't mean it'll all be sunshine and rainbows. Just saying… Jealous Hotch you say? Hmm… Time will tell. I warned about the Beth appearance in this chapter, but look for her again in the next. I broke her appearance into two. **

**Ann**** I do apologize for keeping you waiting so long. It's never my intention but it always seems to happen. Still, thank you for the review and enjoy this one. It's another long one just like you asked for. **

**Emilyhotchnerforever**** Jack's funny like that. Charlie is being a kid. They have realistic, sometimes unexpected, reactions to hard situations. I loved the mother daughter talk between Emily and her mom. It was fun to write and not something that happens all the time between them. Yes, got to love Clyde. **

**MotherBalls**** Absolutely love your name by the way. Mother balls. He he… And thank you. I'm glad you've found the story interesting thus far and hope to keep you entertained. Hopefully the not so coupley couple can figure things out soon right?**

**dcatt**** You're welcome. And thank you for the review. I wanted to get it all in one chapter, no cliffhangers and waiting. Glad that made you happy. **

**sourgummycandy**** I'm happy you found it worth the wait. Hotch giving Emily a bit of a hard time is key. He needs to really figure out what he wants first. Slow build… But she does have Clyde and JJ if she'd let her. It'll all work out eventually… hopefully… **

**rmpcmfan**** I'm not much of a Haley fan, especially not on the show. She was a bit of a bitch. But I wanted her to be a good person and someone that just wants what's best for the people she does or has cared about. That's what I tried to achieve. And I loved the Emily/Elizabeth talk. I spent a little extra time with my mom after writing that too. Clyde's a favorite of mine. I think it's the accent =) We'll see if he can get through to Charlie. **

**123a456e**** Yeah, that updating soon thing… sorry about that. Still glad you liked the last chapter. Enjoy this one too. **

**MeGkAtHeRiNe It's back, hopefully you don't need to reread it all to catch up. Next chapter, lots of Hotch and Charlie time. **

**Rugbygirrl**** Protective Jack could get him in trouble on the playground lol, but he sure is adorable. My brothers liked to torture me too. Not fun… Jack's a good boy though; much nicer. Let's see what Clyde does for the girls. **

**Storm-SA**** Ok, I'm going to reply to all your comments in one thing. Let's see how this goes. When I first read that I was like, well, that's nice, what a bitch. Lol But then I continued to read the comment and I'm like oh, nice… Thank you! Beth seems to kill everybody. Nobody likes her, me included, but she's necessary and you'll see why. But yay for bonus points. I think that means I'm winning. Glad you liked the group session. It was interesting to write and I think it came out alright. **

**justicegrl **** Yay. The more hooked on Hotch/Prentiss, the better I say. Paget Brewster once said if her character could do something she'd like her to kiss Hotch (not in those exact words or anything). I tried and failed to be timely with my updates, but they're always long. I think that helps balance it out. They did have to endure some pain, but I think every parent gets that at some point. I remember telling my mom I hated her and the heartbroken look. Kids do that. I'm not sure about the child psychologist. One day at a time. The way kids react is complicated. Charlie's complicated. **

**HPforever-after**** Hotch did feel hurt, but he hurt her too. It's a give and take thing. People get hurt, but the good outweighs it eventually. **

**Lexie4MorganPrentiss**** Not a fan of Hotly! What?! How is that so? Lol Still, glad you liked it. I'll try not to hold your taste in couples against you =P**

**Taylor**** Thanks for the review. Happy you like the story. And Charlie needs some time to adjust. Let's see how she does… **

**LaceyoftheTypewriter**** I like when people are obsessed with my story =) Is that weird? Probably… But thank you so much. I love that Hotch and Em dynamic. And yes, Charlie is complex for a 5 year old, but I think that's true for all in that age group. You wouldn't believe the things I heard come out of some of their mouths. It's nuts.**

**blakstarsing ****Thank you! Burn… Yeah that's about right. I knew that would hit where it hurt so to speak. Beth will be sticking around a while longer… How long? Well, we'll see when I can drop kick her ass to the curb. Lol **

**elianaaa**** I did notice how long it took. I apologize. Things happen. But the update's here now. And it's long too. So hopefully that helps. Enjoy. **

**inheritancedrottningu**** Thank you so much. Big compliment. Sorry about the lack of updating. But enjoy…**

**leahloahla**** So much did happen. Crazy huh? The team building was a particularly strong moment. It was important for them to be closer and understand all sides. Showing the brand was something I deliberated b decided to go with. Glad you liked it. Charlie being mean is a heartbreaker. Everybody liked the talk with Em and her mom. I loved writing it. It helped me realize how important a mother/daughter relationship is. **

**Lktwh13****Thank you. Again, I apologize for the wait. There's so much more story left to tell and it will get told. Still happy to rope you into the Hotch/Prentiss corner. Support the ship! Lol enjoy the update. I'll try not to keep you all waiting too long for the next. **

**Guest**** 1) Thank you. 2) Poor Charlie indeed. She's just so lost. 3) Hate is definitely a strong word. But it didn't last all that long… **


	33. The Weekend's Hard Sell

_I do not own Criminal Minds, only the characters I have created in that world._

**First off, I want to say how much I love all of you readers. You stick by me and my flakiness when it comes to updating. And you leave me reviews that make me smile even when I don't deserve such praise. And to top it off, you nominate me for Profiler Choice Awards. What?! How'd I get so lucky? I hope you all feel even half as appreciated as I do. **

**I thought you deserved an update. It took me long enough right. I just wanted to let you know how eternally grateful I am for all of you who read and stick by this story whether you comment or not. **

**Now, to ruin a nice author-reader bonding moment… I owe you all a huge apology. I try to be timely and then life comes in and I get wrapped up in things… It's no excuse and I'm sorry I kept you waiting. But it's here now. **

**Don't mind the man mistakes you will find. This is unedited for now. I just wanted to post.**

Chapter 33: The Weekend's Hard Sell

Holding her hand felt… magical. It all felt magical… Like he was reunited with her having the father and daughter moment he yearned for. That was a lot of meaning to put into a safety precaution… holding hands as they walked across the parking lot to his car, but that was what he felt. He felt fatherly, more so than before, and possessive and protective, and so many other adjectives. He was just excited. His little girl and him…

"Aaron?" Charlie asked as they approached his car, stopping them just short.

"Yeah sweetheart?"

Her eyes squinted in the sun as she looked up to him. "Where do you live?"

Gentle smile tugging his lips he answered, "I live in an apartment not too far from here. Let's get in the car and we'll go there."

"Ok." She said timidly, looking back to the direction they travelled to see her mother, who was watching from afar leaning against their car. Charlie sent one last wave before allowing Aaron to help her into the backseat.

"I got the purple seat." He told her as he made sure she was strapped in to the booster seat. "You like purple right?"

"It's my favorite."

"Great." Neither knew what more to say. Charlie wasn't sure what the situation was and Hotch didn't want to mess with the good feeling he had brewing just yet. So they stayed quiet. The little girl looked around the car and out the window as her father continuously looked back at her through the mirror like she would disappear if he didn't have eyes on her at all times.

When they finally got to his apartment, tiny in comparison to the house she lived in, Hotch's nerves went from fluttering butterflies to swarming… beetles or something. "Is this your house?" She asked effectively popping the bubble his head seems stuck in.

"Yes."

"The whole building?" her eyes were huge as she stared up at the big brick building.

"No, a lot of people live here. I live on the fifth floor." He explained. "If you help me with the bags, I'll let you press the buttons in the elevator."

"There's an elevator?"

"Yeah."

"Cool. I'll help. I want to press the buttons." Letting her, probably wasn't the best idea. They ended up making a stop on every floor, but it was worth it to see her face light up every time the door opened and she could look out, make sure no one was there, and press the close door button. "Can we do that again?" She asked as they stepped out onto their floor, nearing their final destination.

"Maybe later." He laughed. "Let's get these bags in and get you settled and then we can talk about what you want to do today."

"Alright." She sighed, but dutifully carried on stuck to his side.

"We're here." He announced as he stopped in front of apartment 5D. He suddenly found himself self conscious. What if she didn't like the place? What if she expected more? He had the same thoughts the first time Jack came over there, but at least with him he had a past. With her, he really only had the present. "Can I help you with the bag?" So much like her mother, Hotch realized, she refused to let him carry it all for her. It wasn't too heavy, but heavy enough for her that he didn't want her to drag it all the way to his apartment, but she refused help. I "I can do it." She had said. "I'm a big girl." And he knew she was, but that didn't mean he didn't want to help. So when she nodded, he was actually grateful. It was like a concession to him, his first prize; his first win with no real fight.

Charlie walked into the apartment and took it all in. It wasn't like her new house. They lived on the ground and he lived in the sky. Looking out the window, though timidly, she could see the far away street. It was like her old home, only without the view of the cool buildings her mommy told her were called landmarks. Hotch watched as she continued to find her own way, hesitantly exploring the uncharted terrain and looking at the different knick knacks, stopping only when she reached a photograph. Gently running her finger over it, she said, "This is mommy's picture. It's not by her bed anymore." Innocent eyes found his across the room. "Did you steal it? Stealing's bad you know…"

"You're right. Stealing is bad." He said as he made his way to her, taking a seat on the couch near where she was standing. "And I did take this." He felt a little ashamed, but he didn't want to lie. "That was bad of me." She nodded. "But I didn't have any pictures of you and I loved this one." He stuck out his hand to gesture for the frame. "And your mom knows I have it."

"She does?"

"Yes. But if you'd like me to give it back, I guess I can do that."

She thought about it, looking around the room again before responding, "You can keep it, as long as mom knows."

"Ok, thank you." He said and placed the photo back. "Want to see where you'll be staying?" Her head bobbed up and down as she shyly bit her lip. "Follow me. I'll show you around." He gave her a tour of his apartment. It wasn't anything fancy and it wasn't all that big, but for the time being, it was enough. Though, now that he was thinking about it. He'd need a bigger place. If the kids came over at the same time, they'd want their own space and that room wasn't big enough for two beds and playing area. It would work for a little while.

"Is this my room?"

"For now, yes. It's yours and Jack's."

"We share?" She asked.

"For now. We can add some things you like and make it both of your room."

"Like a room sleepover."

"Just like that."

"I guess that's alright. I'm good at sharing."

"You are." He agreed. "So Charlie, what do you want to do today?"

"I don't know." She said shyly, still trying to warm up to the place and even to him, though she was doing a very good job so far.

"Ok. Well, are you hungry?"

Her head shook. "Nope. Clyde made me and mommy crepes for breakfast and I ate so much. I'm still full."

"He did huh?" He feigned happiness. Clyde was already rubbing him the wrong way, like bad chaffing on a hot day. "If you're not hungry, do you want to go out?"

"Where would we go?"

"You need some things to keep here… in case you decide to come back." He was quick to add. "We can go shopping."

"Do I get a toy?"

"We can pick out a couple."

"Ok."

"Alright, get changed first ok?"

"I can do that." She jumped off the bed and

"Ok. I'm going to wait in the living room. Come out when you're dressed and we can go."

"Is mom going to be there?"

"No, it's just going to be us… Is that ok?"

"I… I guess so…" But she was nervous. He could tell. And the truth was so was he. They could be nervous together. They'd have to get through it with each other.

So as Hotch went out of the room to await Charlie, Emily was then back at her house anxiously pacing the kitchen with anew cup of coffee. "Darling, if you're going to walk to and fro you might as well wear mop socks and do some cleaning."

"Funny Clyde. You pick now to try and be funny… Really?"

"Relax Love. As much as I dislike this Hotchner character, he's not going to kill her."

"No, but what if she needs me? What if she's scared or…"

"Then he'll call you. Please sit. You're giving me an awful headache. And you know how I get when that happens."

"Even more unbearable." She hissed.

"Ah, she kids. If only she'd sit."

"God Clyde," she sighed and slumped over into the chair across from him, "Why did I agree to this?"

"I feel I'm the wrong person to ask Love. I question that myself."

"Nice Clyde. But if you don't like it, why did you encourage her?"

"Who said I did? I told her he was an evil man and she needed to stay away."

"No you didn't. I know you Clyde. Beneath this brutish exterior, you're just a softie."

"Only for the Prentiss girls."

"Ugh." She all but screamed, practically slamming her head against the table. "Why did I agree to this?"

"Because this is what you wanted; him in her life… and yours."

Her head snapped up. "Mine?"

"Don't look so surprised. You drive me mad. I'm in need of a mid morning cocktail."

"What are you talking about Clyde?"

"Oh Emily, Love. Why can't you see it?"

"See what?"

"You sleep with him when you barely know him…"

"Hey!"

"It's true, and that's not really you. I know that. So there was a reason Darling. You did, and you had his baby. Even if you kept her from him, whatever the reasons, you wanted him in her life, but you also wanted him in yours. You took a job working with him for years."

"Do what?" She still wasn't getting it, or not accepting it.

Giving her a hard look he explained, "You slept with him again Emily."

"I haven't… in a long time and he was there… We were drunk… It was hate sex."

"You tell yourself what you like, but the truth remains the same."

"And what truth is that Clyde?"

"That you love him."

"I do not! Not like that anyway."

"And he loves you too."

"No he doesn't." She adamantly stated, emphasizing it with a shake of her head. "I don't know how you come up with these crazy notions. Maybe your tea was spiked, but it's ridiculous. He doesn't love me. If he did, he wouldn't be dating someone else. And I… I admit, I have feelings for him, but I… I can't feel that way. This has to be about Charlie. I don't love him."

"Are you trying to convince me… or yourself?"

"You know what Clyde… Let's not talk about this. You said you had something to discuss with me, so now's your chance. Discuss away."

"Ah, ah, ah, Miss Prentiss. First we talk about the angry child and how she found out about daddy dearest."

"Seriously?"

"I don't kid Love."

"Yes you do."

"Only with you. But the matter is neither here nor there. What happened with Charlie? What you told me over the telephone was not nearly the whole story. Hardly adequate and then we were unfortunately cut off."

"As I remember, you cut us off and said you had something to discuss with me too."

"Deflection Love. You first."

Sighing, she said, "Next time I have a secret like that, make sure I don't keep it so long ok?"

"I'll do my best." He laughed. "Now put your phone away. I see you sneaking texts to lover boy, but they're going to do just fine."

"How did you even… Wait, never mind." She put her hands up in surrender. "I'm putting the phone done now agent. Please don't shoot."

"Never Love." He laughed. "Now talk."

"Well…" And with that, she divulged all in detail.

Elsewhere, Hotch and Charlie were heading out. It wasn't he was nervous, well he was, but the texts he was getting from Emily were both comforting and completely freaking him out. _How is she?_ That was the first text that came not even a half an hour after they parted. He told her things were ok. A few more sporadic ones came with words of Charlie wisdom; things she liked and what he needed. The next one made him laugh. _Don't be afraid to punish her if she does something wrong. She knows what happens when she's trouble. Time outs work._ He wasn't sure he'd be able to put her in a time out or even be angry at her or that she could really do anything for him to get angry at, but he'd humor her. _Stop worrying Emily. I have your Charlie Bible and I'll memorize it all. The time out bench I use for Jack will work for her too. We're going out. She's ok. _He sent.

_Ok. Have fun._ That was the last text they exchanged.

And fun was what they'd try to have. But he never felt more uncomfortable than being a man in a woman's world. Even being married, he didn't really feel that way. Haley had her world and it was separate from his. She didn't need his input on girlie things and what to wear, whether pink was prettier than yellow or if she could get both sparkles and ruffles. He was so out of his element. Thank god he picked the toy store first.

"Do you want to ride in the cart?" He asked her.

"I'm a big girl and carts are for babies."

"Right, of course." She was a big girl. How did he not know that big girls didn't sit in the cart o be pushed around by their dad?

"Mommy let's me walk by myself. I just can't run away alone."

"Well same rules apply alright? You can look around, just stay where I can see you."

"I can pick out anything?" She asked.

"Within reason. Why don't you look around a bit? I'm right behind you."

He watched her like a hawk as she perused. It was their first outing together. He sure as hell wasn't going to lose her in a store at a mall while they were looking for toys. She was interesting to watch too, not just because she was his daughter, but the way she did things. She'd walk the aisles as he trailed just behind her and she'd look around, up down and all around the shelves until something caught her eye. Then she'd stop and look at it; observe it closely like she was weighing the pros and cons. Maybe she'd pick it up and examine it closer. If she liked it, but wasn't sure, she'd hold onto it a little longer before putting it back. He had to wonder if that was a habit she got from her mom or a habit of her own making.

"Do you like that Charlie?" He asked her after she went back to a tea set for a third time. Her big eyes looked to his as she quietly nodded. "Do you want to get it?"

Bashfully, she asked him, "I don't have money. It's in my bank."

"You have a bank?"

"It's a cupcake with sprinkles."

"A real one?"

"No silly. It's to hold money. But I don't have money here."

"Sweetheart," he knelt down next to her, "I don't want you to spend your money even if you did have it with you. I want you to have things that are just yours when… or if… you come back over. So if you want a tea set then you tell me which one you like best and I'll get it for you."

"You will?"

"I will. Some things I will say no to because you don't need it, but I want you to have stuff you like."

"Ok." She said and turned back to the box. "If I get this one… will you… will you play with me?"

"Of course I will."

"Ok. Do you like this one or this one?" She pointed to two different designs.

"Which do you like? The ladybugs or the butterflies?"

"I asked you."

"Um…" Was it a test? Would their future rest on him picking the right one? How ridiculous did that sound? "I think I like the butterflies. They're blue and green, but the cup is purple and you like purple."

"Ok. Can I get this one?"

"Yes. Can you put it in the cart or would you like me to do it?"

"I can do it." She said and walked over to the metal object, standing on her tippy toes to gently place the box of fragile objects down into the opening. "I did it."

"Great. Let's see what else we can find."

Charlie loosened up some, as did he, and they managed to find a few toys to take home. He decided that, no matter how bad he wanted to, he was going to listen to Emily and not go overboard because of some "misguided sense of guilt" he might have. She did a good job raising their girl and she may want for nothing but she didn't have to be spoiled. Charlie knew the word no and he had to get used to saying it. It was hard though. It would've been easy to just say yes to any request. "You want a useless giant purple monkey that would take up more room than they had so she could come home and be Jazz's adoptive purple monkey mother because you think they look so much alike even when they don't…. Sure. Where's the harm in that?" Of course he said no. The plush animal needed to keep its home hanging from the display shelf, but actually saying it, no matter how ridiculous the request, was hard. He would buy her the world and more if he could. And he did splurge, perhaps more than he should've, but they were starting at ground zero. He didn't have much for her. Some of it might have been guilt for not being there or trying to buy her love a little or even both, but he honestly didn't see any wrong in it.

So he bought just shy of a toy store. That didn't make him a bad person and one splurge wasn't going to spoil her too much. She was still Charlie. He couldn't imagine her being any other way. All in all, the toy store was a success. They were both still awkward and he imagined the next store would make it worse for him, but at least they were more, well less like strangers and more like friends starting over. They were working on that clean slate. But, she was one complicated little girl with all the emotions and feeling of the five foot eight version of her just wrapped in a tiny little package. An adorable one no less, with eyes that could melt a heart of ice, but that wasn't really the point.

The point was they were doing ok; could be much worse and could be better. "Ready for the next store?"

"I like shopping." She said with the first full smile she gave him since everything began.

"Great. We're going to take these bags to the car and then we'll get some new clothes."

"Clothes?"

"Yes. You need clothes for when you come over."

"But I have some; lots. I have a whole ginormous closet full of them."

"I know but those are for mommy's. You need some to keep at the apartment too."

"So I get new ones?"

"Yes. We're going to buy some things."

"Cool." And that was where the ruffles versus sparkles debate would come in. But first they had to get there.

Hotch wasn't much of a shopper. For the duration of his marriage, Haley was mainly in charge of that. He picked up his business suits or told her what he liked but that was really where it ended. And before that, he was pretty much a kid wearing a wardrobe mandated by his mother. Yes, he was self-sufficient and shopping wasn't a genius sport, but he still felt so lost and incompetent; a man in a woman's world. Stereotypical, he knew, but true for him at least. He didn't know the first thing about what little girls liked to wear. He had a son and he grew up with a brother.

"Can I pick out my own clothes?"

"Yes, but you just have to check with me first before we buy anything."

"Kind of like with mommy. She says she gets final approval because I'm only five and she's the one with the cash."

"Well, you are only five, and this time I'm the one with the cash." He smiled. At least e an Emily were on the same page on that front. There'd be no outrages clothing choices.

"Ok." She shrugged and walked closely to him, but not willingly offering her hand.

"Pajamas first?" He asked her.

"I like pajamas! Can I get one with animals on it? Or princesses? Or… or… something I like? Stars? Or skulls? I like that. Maybe both!"

"We will definitely get something you like." He laughed. "This way." Grabbing a cart, they headed toward the girls' section. He wasn't ready for skulls.

He liked helping her sort through racks and pick things out even if he didn't know the right input to give. Everything was perfectly beautiful on her and he couldn't imagine a time he'd tell her otherwise. The pajamas were the first task. "I don't like that one." That was her response to most of what he picked out. His style was too "boyish and not cool."

"Ok Charlie. If you don't like any of these, which ones do you like?"

"Those ones." She pointed. In the sea of pastels and neons, she went for dark and, to him, ominous. They looked too grown up for his little girl. He'd realize most of what they'd end up getting would make him feel that way, but that was what she liked. And he had to like what she liked too, at least in part. They would always see eye to eye on wardrobe, but he'd pick and choose his battles while he still could.

"Those?"

"Uh huh. Look it has skulls on it! And it's glittery. I like this one." The glitter offset the rebel skulls… a little…

"You sure you don't like this one with the cupcakes? It would match your bank."

"But my bank's at home with mommy and you said these are for your house." Her nose scrunched with the logic.

"Yeah. But…" What was his argument? He didn't want her to start in on the teenage rebellion before she was even a teenager? That wouldn't fly. "It has shorts and pants so you can wear it when it's warm and cool out."

"Can't I get both Aaron? I have lots at mommy's and the cupcakes are cool too. Then I'd have a bunch of pajamas; enough to last forever and ever."

"Or until you grow another inch and we start this all over again." He mumbled, but he knew he was in trouble. She just had to say Aaron and he was willing to cave; serious trouble. "You can get both." He conceded way too easily. His resolve was fading with her.

"Yay!"

"Alright, let's look at some other things before we leave with just pajamas."

"Every day would be a pajama day like a sleepover." She said cheerily. "It'd be so awesome."

"But then we couldn't leave the house."

"We can just put on shoes." The duh was missing, but he could feel it there.

"I don't think so. You need some real clothes."

"Fine, but every day in pajamas would've been cool, just so you know."

"I'm sure it would've been, but we don't need to find out."

"Are you sure? We can buy all of them and have lots of sleepovers. Mommy would have to come of course."

"Of course." He added as he let her lead the way.

"And you'd be there and Jack can come too. It'd be so much fun."

"It would," he agreed with a bod, "and maybe we can work on that one weekend." They had to get through their current weekend first. "But not this weekend. Let's just find some clothes until then." Again he let her lead, trailing right behind her and only guiding her when it was needed. She had his sense of direction, he decided. She knew where she was going whether she had been there before or not. Maybe he was just trying to see more of himself in her; he wasn't sure, but, real or not, he saw him in her as much as he saw her mother. And he loved it. He loved seeing the things she got from him, even if only biologically. He saw them in Jack and now he saw them in her too.

The smile was impossible to hide. Because he loved it/ His heart as so full in ways he didn't know it could be; in ways he thought only Jack could ever fill. She was his. She was with him. Soon she'd accept him… he hoped. There was little more he could ask for. Except maybe a little less shopping, he thought to himself. The girly things he'd have to do were going to take some getting used to. He'd have to work on that and sooner than he realized as Charlie dragged him through a mess of skirts and denim. The latter he could handle. The former… not so much. As a man he understood the appeal of a skirt, not on kids of course, but in general on a woman. On his daughter, however, he did not. He didn't think he ever would. The reality of his overprotective streak was starting to set in. With her it would always be a battle. It was different and scary and he knew how the other half worked. He knew how they'd look at her and the thoughts they'd have… He was so not ok with that. No one was allowed to have any kid of…. Thoughts…. About his Charlie, It just wasn't allowed. It was… It was not something he wanted to think about. Not now… Not when he was realizing just how deep in trouble he was. Oh god…

"Did you hear me?" Charlie's voice barely registered with him through his living nightmare. "Aaron?" He was going to be that dad… the one with the intimidating stare… "Aaron?" And the almost equally intimidating gun. "Aaron?!" Boys beware. Daddy Hotchner was coming their way. And this little girl had a whole army of armed men and women to stand behind her. Poor future suitors…

"What?" He finally responded, shaking vigorously to clear the thoughts. He was barely facing the present; no need to bring the future into it just yet. Not that part of it anyway.

"You're not listening to me." She pouted.

"I am." He lied then berated himself for doing so. "I'm sorry. I was just looking at all the nice outfits and thinking how pretty you'd look in them." That was true, though he was also thinking how terrified he was of all things low but and mini. The greys were coming. Would Em… Would Beth like a silver fox? Did he really just refer to his future self as a silver fox?

"I like clothes Aaron. Me and mommy really like shoes. She has a whole closet full of them." She made wild hand gesture. "Sometimes she lets me play with them. One day I'll have as many as her."

"Really?" He'd need a second job.

"Yup. A whole closet full. All different kind and colors and styles."

"That's a lot of shoes." He listened to her go on learning everything was such a new experiment with her. And it was amazing. It was all new, it was all fresh. And it was all perfect, if not a bit complicated and confusing too. But he'd have the time and space to work through it all and figure the differences between raising a boy and raising a girl. It was an experience he was, though fretting at times, looking forward to.

He tired quickly from the sheer number of clothes she wanted to try on. And he was the idiot who took ten minutes to figure out what size she should be wearing even though Emily wrote it in the "all things Charlie" she gave him and insisted she tried things on before they agreed to buy anything. She took it from there and turned it into a mid-store fashion show exclusively for him. He was ok with that, enjoying it, but only because it was him spending good times with her; it wasn't the actual activity he was enjoying.

"Shoe time?" She asked him giddily with her dimples bigger than he'd ever seen. How could he resist that face?

"Shoe time. Let's go." Pushing the filled carriage together, they made their way to the realm of all things shoes.

Her face lit with wonder as she passed through the aisles; aisle after aisle of buckled this and Velcro that and boots and ballet flats and whatchamacallits… He was so out of his league, but her happiness gave him happiness too even if it came from an activity that was so incredibly boring for him. It was fun with her whether it was something he enjoyed or not.

"I like this one." She said, her eyes wide and her tone an astonished hush as she stared at them. Of course she'd like those. It was an Emily shoe, something he'd seen her wear before, just in a child variety with sparkles and shine. "They're so pretty." He didn't know how he was going to tell her no.

"They're very nice." He agreed. Trying to buy himself a little time to come up with an answer to the inevitable question.

It was the fourth pair of shoes she looked at and the only one she liked; not at all practical. He needed her to like a nice pair of sneakers to play in, nothing fancy. "Can you help me find one for my feet?"

"Uh…" No? "Charlie, sweetheart, I don't think these are the shoes we need today." That sounded good… Please work.

"But..." Her smile faded and the pot set in. "But they're so perfect."

"That may be…"

"They have sparkles Aaron and they're so pretty."

"I agree."

"So can I get them? Pretty, pretty please?"

In the midst of his bumbling lack of response, an attendant walked by. "Is there anything I can help you with?"

Taking it upon herself to answer, Charlie responded, "I'd like this in my size please."

"Charlie." Aaron scolded, but not really; just mildly admonished.

"These are very nice shoes."

"Uh huh."

"Is this your daddy?" The woman asked as she kneeled down next to them and took the shoe in hand. Charlie nodded, though a bit unsure of what she was supposed to do. "What does he think of them?"

"He says they're very pretty, but he doesn't think I need them. I think I do."

"I think you do too." Said the attendant, working as if on commission. "But I think what dad says goes, so it's really up to him cutie." Turning to Hotch she asked, "What do you say dad? Want to get your little munchkin here her size?"

"I don't know."

"Please." Charlie pouted again.

"Oh look at those dimples." The lady said, noting the slight indent in the little girl's cheeks. "She looks so much like you."

Damn it! It was like she knew exactly what to say to get him to cave. "Fine. You may get this pair if they have one that fits you, but then you have to pick just one of the sneakers you tried on so we can get out of here."

"That sounds like a good deal to me." The lady added.

"Ok! Thank you!" Charlie jumped up and hugged Hotch's leg. Instantly, he felt gratified. Yes, he felt a little like he was buying her affection, and he caved way too easily this time, but, did it matter? It was worth it. And he was willing to lighten his wallet if it made her happy.

"You're welcome. Let's see if we can find one that fits." He turned to the attendant and told her what size they needed. As she left to get the right shoe from the back, he helped Charlie sort through the other pairs they looked getting her to agree on the black sneakers with the purple laces.

"I liked these from the beginning. I just wanted the other ones more."

He could do nothing but let out a gentle laugh in his amusement. She was something else. "So does that mean we're getting these too?"

"Yes. I like these a lot. They've got purple and there's a star inside." She lifted the shoe to shoe the inside of the tongue. "See."

"I do. It's really nice. Why don't we say thank you to the nice lady that helped us and then get out of here?" He had one more stop they needed to make to follow through with the plans he made for the next day. It was contingent on this one item.

"Ok." Loading the last of their items into the cart; a whole wardrobe in there now, they made their way to the woman, offered her their thanks, and then off to the register they went.

Raising a girl was a small fortune. Of that, he was now sure. But his girl was happy, so it was money well spent. And he was about to spend more.

Dropping the abundance of bags off in the car, they then went to the other side of the shopping plaza. "Where are we going?" She asked as she reached up for his hand then, quickly as she realized what she was doing, pulled it back.

"Well, I want us to do something fun."

"Shopping is fun. Penelope says so. So does mommy. And JJ." Notice how they're all women…

"Ok… You're right. I just want us to do something extra fun."

"Like what?"

"Do you know what I like to do when I have time?"

"What?" She asked genuinely. She did want to know.

"I'm training for a race."

"You are? Like a race I have with my friends? I'm good at those. Sometimes I win. But not always. Sometimes I'm too slow and sometimes I let the other kids win so they can be happy too." Be still his heart…. His daughter was a saint.

"That's really sweet of you Charlie. And yes, it's a little like that. There's running, but there's also cycling."

"On a bicycle?"

"Yes."

"Are you good?"

"I don't know. Maybe. I hope I am, but maybe you can tell me what you think."

"How?"

"I was thinking we can go into this store." He pointed to a specialty store; a sports store. "They sell all sorts of sports things. We can take a look around and see if there are any bikes that you like, and a helmet because that's important to. If we find one that's good for you, the two of us can go riding tomorrow."

"Really?"

"Does that sound good to you?"

"Uh huh." She nodded vigorously. "Very good." A beat passed in silence as they approached the store. Charlie stopped mid-step and looked to him. "Do I get to pick that out too?"

"You get some say Charlie. We'll get one you like, but it has to be within reason."

"I don't know what that means, but it sounds ok."

"Glad we can agree on that."

It took a little doing, but they left there with the perfect set of wheels. It was yellow with a lavender seat and handles; a kid's cruiser. It wasn't race material, but it was perfect for her. She loved it. And there was a helmet that matched it pretty well so she didn't put up any fight with that; much to his relief. The shopping excursion was officially complete.

Was it always that exhausting to shop with girls? He was a professional bag carrier is seemed and chauffer. But tired or not, he'd do it again.

With all the store stops and meals, the day wound down fairly quickly as night approached. They were tired, or he was, and he didn't want to do much to get her riled up, so he asked her to watch a movie with him. Surprisingly, they both made it through the movie. The movie was safe though. There was no talking, no possibility for awkwardness or rejection, and there was no need for forced interaction. They could simply be and enjoy each other's company.

And then it was bedtime. "Hey Charlie, time for bed."

"But I'm not tired." She said with a yawn.

"That yawn proves you are. I put your new toothbrush in the bathroom. Go brush your teeth."

"I don't want to go to bed yet."

"Brush our teeth and then we can talk about it." She didn't really want that either. She wasn't sure what she wanted. She was having fun so far, but she was still pensive.

"Do I have to?"

"Yes."

"Fine." She got up and huffed away. Hotch knew the dramas of bedtime. He had many years of practice with Jack.

When she returned, teeth cleaned and attitude unaltered, she still put up a fight. It was their first disagreement of the night… ever really. "I said I don't want to go to bed!" She was tired and she was getting cranky; Emily warned him that, like any kid, Charlie had her moments. He just never witnessed one before. And she was just so unsure of it all, like sleeping on it would change things and maybe in a way she wasn't ready for.

"Charlie, please calm down."

"No! I don't want to go to bed. I'm not tired and I don't want to sleep." It was late and she was yawning. They had a long day. He knew she was tired, possibly overtired, and he knew children fought it, but it felt like more. He had to handle t right and set a precedent, but he didn't know what precedent to set.

"Charlotte!" Uh oh, breaking out the whole name. "Ok, I think we need to have a little talk." Emily practically mapped out how to handle these things too, and he'd heed her advice, but he had to figure out some of these things on his own; learn what works for them and draw his own lines.

"I don't want to talk to you." She whined. Yeah, she was definitely tired.

"You don't have to talk, just listen." He moved from his seat to be closer to her. He kept a safe distance all night, but no more. She couldn't dictate everything. He was the adult; not her and as much as he'd never like to yell or scold or punish he knew he had to do it at some point.

"I don't want to do that either."

"But I'm telling you that you have to and you will." He sighed. "I know all of this is hard for you. It's a difficult time. And, honestly, it's hard on me too." That got her curious enough to look to him and pay attention. "I haven't been in your life long Charlie and that makes me sad. Every moment I missed with you makes me sad."

"But I'm with you now. You don't have to be sad."

"No, I don't have to be sad anymore." He answered with a half-smile. "Because you're here and we're getting to know each other. It's not always going to be fun. Sometimes you're not going to like the things we have to do, but I want our visits to be good. That means listening to me. Just like with your mom, attitude is not tolerated. The same rules you have at home, we have here. I want you to enjoy your visits and one day consider this a home for you too." He wasn't delusional though. That would take time. "We're not going to rush anything. I'm not going to make you do anything that I know you don't do with your mom, but you have to follow the rules. If we need to go over them, we can, but I think you know them."

Shoulders slumped and heaving a sigh, she said, "I do."

"That's what I thought. All I ask is that you behave here like you would at home." There'd be time to set more rules later and if she continued to act out or, rather, took it to a different level, he'd be forced to take real action. But until then, he just wanted to talk with her. That was all. "Think you can handle that?"

"Yeah."

"Good. I'm glad to hear it. Now," he stood, "brush your teeth and then head to the bedroom."

"Ok." Sulking, she hopped off the couch and headed for the bathroom.

Knowing the day's good mood and easy feel was then gone, Hotch decided to perk her up with a phone call home. He knew that would do the trick. "Things are going fine Emily. I promise…. Yes, I already told you… No…. Emily, she just; she's just being a kid and testing the boundaries." He laughed. "I know Emily, but I don't want to yell at her or punish her unless it's necessary and right now it's not. And no, I don't need you to do it for me, but I appreciate the offer… Really, everything's fine. I'm handing it. Actually, all things considered, I think it's going pretty well… Yes, plans are still the same for tomorrow. She seemed excited when I brought it up… We'll be safe. I promise… Ok Em, you know I, uh… You have to stop worrying. Things are ok and I don't want her to be upset if she hears you're upset. She's coming, just please, don't say anything that will make her more… sensitive."

"Are you talking to yourself?" Charlie asked as she walked in.

"No actually, there's someone on the phone for you."

"Who?" She questioned.

"Why don't you say hello and find out?"

Taking the phone from him, she spoke into the receiver. "Charlie speaking. Who's this?"

"This would be Emily. Charlie's mommy."

"Mommy!"

"Hi Charlie. How has your day with Aaron been?"

"Good."

"Yeah? You don't sound sure."

"It was good. We went shopping, but I think he's mad at me."

"And why would he be mad at you?"

"I wasn't being very nice."

"You weren't? That doesn't sound like you."

"I know." She huffed.

"You sound tired."

"I'm not!" She snapped.

"Charlie!"

"I'm sorry mommy."

She knew Hotch told her not to get involved, but that's her kid and she had a right to be involved. "If you promise me you'll apologize to Aaron, I think we can let it slide."

"I will." She promised.

"Ok."

"Is Clyde still there?" Hotch grimaced in the background.

"He is. I told you he would be. He's not going anywhere just yet."

"Can I talk to him too?"

"Sorry Charlie. He is on the phone with work still." Has been on and off all day. "But he's going to come with me tomorrow, so you'll see him at the game."

"Fine." She said sadly. She didn't want to not see him. She never got to see him!

"So, are you going to tell me all about your day?"

"Yes!" Charlie then perked and started to animatedly tell the tale of Hotchners shopping. She was, after all, a Hotchner too. And Emily eagerly listened; as did Hotch. He stood at the doorway giving her just a little privacy as he listened to one half of the conversation in awe. She was magnificient; how easily she went from sulking to peppy to whatever… It was… She was just so wondrous.

"I think I heard a yawn baby. Sounds like it's time for bed."

"But I don't want to."

"Charlie, please just try."

"I make no promises."

"Charlie…"

"Are you going to bed?"

"Yes, soon." Soon was relative.

"No story?"

"Not tonight." She wanted to, so bad, but she needed Charlie to let him in and hopefully a story telling would help that.

"Fine."

"Good. I'm so happy you had a lovely day with Aaron. Thank you for telling me all about it. Now, you know you can call me any time if you need me. I love you. Sleep well Charlie Bear."

"Love you too mommy."

"Bye."

"Bye bye."

Both parties reluctantly hung up the phone, clinging to it just a little longer than necessary. But, ultimately, they did hang up and severed their connection. They'd see each other in the morning, they reminded themselves. "Knock, knock…" Hotch said as he tapped on the frame.

"You can come in. It's not my room."

He frowned, but moved closer. "It is your room. While you're here, it is."

"But it's really Jack's room. It has all of his things."

"It has some of your thing now too. And we can change it around so you both have space in the room."

"Ok." She didn't quite sigh, but she wasn't exactly enthusiastic.

"Maybe next time," and he was hoping she'd agree to a next time, "we can move things around for you and make it the way you like it."

"Maybe."

"Ok then…" Clearly talking with Emily wasn't the heal all he hoped it'd be. "Well, it's getting late. Would you… Would you like me to read you a story?"

"No thank you." His stories were great, but she was really hoping for one mommy's stories. She always told her a story. Why did that have to be different just because she was with him?

"Are you sure? I'll make it a good one."

"No thank you." She sounded a bit defeated and he deflated "I'm tired."

At least she'd admit that. "Ok, get into bed then." He pulled the blankets down for her as she climbed toward the head of the bed. She allowed him to tuck her in and once she was settled, Jazz and her securely wrapped in blankies, Hotch remained there. "It's not too late to change your mind about that story. I can still read you one or make one up for you."

"No, that's ok."

"Ok. Do you want the nightlight on? I always put it on for Jack even though he says he doesn't want it. I think I'm going to do the same now."

"I don't need it. I'm a big girl."

"You are, but this way, if you need to get up to go to the bathroom, you can see."

"Alright."

"And you know my room is right down there if you need me."

"I know."

"If you need me or anything at all, don't hesitate to come get me. Wake me up for anything."

"Ok."

He didn't want to leave her. Not like that. She still seemed sad. "I had a lot of fun with you today Charlie."

"Me too."

"Good. Goodnight Charlie. I want you to know I love you."

"Goodnight Aaron." She said quietly. She really was tired and ready for sleep. "I'm sorry I wasn't being very nice."

"It's ok. I know you didn't mean it." He brushed a stray lock of hair from her face as her eyes drifted close. "Sleep tight sweetheart." Her eyes fluttered one last time before she was out. "Daddy's here. I'm not going anywhere." After just watching her sleep for a few minutes, seeing her peacefulness and enjoying her actually staying in his house; there with him… his… he retreated to his room and readied himself for bed. Late for her was still a bit early for him, but it didn't hurt to hit the hay a little early now and then, especially when there were plans for the morning. Plus, he could get a little work done before actually sleeping. He was looking forward to tomorrow, but dreading it all the same. By day's end, she'd be gone again. And, though not permanent, any and all distance between him and his kids was a strain.

It was a pain he learned to live with when it came to Jack and would have to do the same with her. It just sucked. Even with her still there, thinking about her going again hurt.

He needed a file to distract him. Or sleep… Both… He'd go for both. If he didn't, he wouldn't be able to let go when the time came. And a federal agent couldn't very well kidnap his own children. And he couldn't allow himself to call Emily and talk about it. He could call his brother, but he didn't want to. He needed to find a way through it on his own.

Before settling in for the night, he checked his cell. There was a missed call from Beth; two. And a voicemail… And a text. _Wondering if you thought anymore about me coming to the game tomorrow. Let me know. Miss you. Call me when you get a chance._ She'd have to wait, he thought as he returned his phone to the table. As much as he liked spending time with her, this weekend wasn't about her. It was about Charlie and his relationship with her. For the foreseeable future, that didn't include Beth. At least not now… maybe never. He didn't know.

And it wasn't the time to think about it. It was case time. Arsonist in Arkansas or Murderer in Miami? Arsonist file was on his nightstand so he went with that. But not halfway through, he was out as well. And for a short while, the house was quiet and still. Both occupants were slumbering, but one, not so restfully.

The dark night had settled, the outside creatures chirping and winds blowing, leaving one tiny little girl up way past her bed time. The unfamiliar place and lack of her mother to cuddle up to, along with the raging thoughts of a five year old mind left her restless. She may have slept for a little while, but she was up now and just couldn't fall back asleep. Gripping Jazz tight, she peered around the room. She wondered if her mom was still awake and when she'd see her again. It wasn't that she didn't feel safe there because she did, just… Why did Jack have such scary things in his room? Why did he need that creepy monster picture on the wall? So what if it was a cartoon, in the dark it was still scary.

Charlie didn't know what to do. She could sit there. She could stay awake and scared alone, but she didn't want that. Really, she just wanted her mommy. "I'm a big girl. I've got to be brave." She reminded herself. She promised her mom and Clyde she'd do her best. And she was, but that didn't make her miss her own room and mom and Clyde. She just didn't know how to go to Aaron anymore. He was her dad, but did she really understand what that meant? Not really…

Deciding she couldn't stay still any longer, Charlie got out of bed and wandered the house a bit. Looking at the pictures was nice even if the house wasn't filled with them and the light wasn't exactly luminous. He had a picture she drew for him hanging up and that made her happy, but she was still so confused about what to feel. She always knew talking about her dad made her mom sad, though she didn't know why exactly, but she did always want one like Henry and the other kids she knew. She never had that. There were men in her life her mind almost pretended were her father. Clyde always came close and then Derek was great too. But she never really had it. So now that she had one, what did it mean? What did it mean for her and her mom? Would mommy be sad all the time? She really didn't want that. Mommy needed to be happy. It kind of seemed like Aaron made her happy, but how was she to know? Could she ask her mom? And what if she got sad?

There was so much to rationalize for someone whose reasoning and logic skills weren't yet fully developed. How was she to handle it? Clearly not well since she was alone in the dark, not sleeping when she should be. She didn't want to live there. It wasn't her home. Her things weren't there. Her pictures weren't there. Her mom wasn't there. It was just another house to her. But was that how it was supposed to feel? He was her dad… whatever that meant. She should feel different. And she did… but why? What was different?

"Ugh." She sighed. Tired she was, but sleep didn't seem like an option. She needed… something.

Searching, Charlie looked for something to do. She didn't want to get in trouble and she knew she should've been in bed, but it just wasn't going to happen. And there was nothing to do. Jack's things were there, but they weren't really quiet middle of the night toys, so she was lost. Deciding to try sleep again, Charlie returned to Jack's room… her room? Their room? She went back to the room and wrapped herself up in the duvet. The eyes were staring at her. How could she sleep with that?

Then it struck her. The phone was in the other room. Her first homework assignment of the year was to memorize her number and she learned it with her mom too. She could call mommy! That seemed like a great idea. She said it was ok if she did. Once again climbing out of bed, she tiptoes her way into the living room, took the phone off the cradle, and, suddenly, as if afraid of the bumps in the night, ran back into bed, squeezed her teddy tight, and called the number.

"Hotch?!" The voice answered, pure panic in her tone. "It's late is something wrong? Is it Charlie? Oh God…"

"Mommy?"

"Charlie Bear? Is that you?" Emily's tone softened. "What's wrong baby? Why aren't you asleep?"

"I can't sleep. I don't know why."

"Where are you Charlie Bear? And where's Da- Hot- Where's Aaron?"

"He's in his room." She answered almost shyly. "…sleeping."

"So he doesn't know you're on the phone right now?"

"No."

"Ok." She sighed. Things must not have been going as well as she thought when they talked earlier. Despite the little attitude rough patch, she thought things were pretty decent. "Ok Charlie Bear. Tell mommy what's going on."

"Is Clyde still there?"

"Of course. I promised you, and so did he, that you'd get to spend some time with him before he had to go back home."

"Can I talk to him please mommy?"

"You don't want to talk to me?" Was it wrong that she was a little hurt by that?

"After."

"Ok."

Placing her hand over the phone, she quietly spoke to Clyde, "Charlie would like to talk to you. Whatever she says, just try not to make anything worse."

"Me?" She squinted her eyes and glared. "Alright love, I'll try."

"I'll be right back." She whispered as he put the phone to his ear.

Nodding, he then focused his attention to the girl. "Hello little darling. Why are you not dreaming of puppies and falling down rabbit holes?"

"I don't know…" She huffed.

"I believe you do."

"I can't sleep Clyde. I tried really hard just like you said. I promised I would. I was a good girl."

"But…?"

"I miss you."

"And I miss you as well. I'll see you tomorrow however, so that's no excuse."

"And I miss my room and my things."

"Your things are going nowhere. You know that. All will be the same upon your return."

"But…"

"Charlotte, what is it?"

"I'm scared Clyde. And I… I miss mommy. I wish she was here too."

"Well, that's ok. Do you remember what I told you?"

"That I was a big girl?"

"That's true, yes, but what else?"

"Umm… That mommy will miss me so much too but it was important I try my very best…" She mumbled. "Because he's my daddy and daddies are important." She told him. "But I did try and I miss my mommy. It's scary here."

"Why's that? What's frightening you?"

Sniffling, she just said, "I… I don't know."

"Mommy told me you had fun shopping today. Did you?"

"Mmhmm. I got a new bike." She said excitedly.

"Isn't that wonderful. Lots of new things there then."

"Yeah." She got quiet again. "Can I come home? I miss you guys and you're going soon."

"Is that really what you want Love? Don't you want to know your dad?"

Before she could answer, a gentle knock sounded on the opened door. "Charlie? What are you doing awake?"

"Aaron?" She asked.

"Are you ok sweetheart? It's late. You should be asleep."

"Are you mad? Am I in trouble?"

"No. You're not in trouble and I'm not mad. I just want to make sure you're ok."

She nodded. "I called mommy."

"That's ok." He assured her as he took a seat on the bed next to her. "I bet she was happy to hear from you. Probably a little nervous because it was so late though, huh?"

"Mmhmm. I think I scared her a little. I just wanted to talk to her."

"It's alright. Are you still using the phone?"

"Oh." When he came in, she forgot that Clyde was still on the other end. "Uh huh. Hold on." She told him and put the phone to her ear. "Clyde. Are you still there?"

"It's mommy baby."

"Ok. I miss you mommy."

"I miss you too, so much."

"Really?"

"Yes, but I'll see tomorrow and we'll see you at your game to cheer you on. Ad afterwards you get to hang out with me and Clyde. We'll have lots of fun watching Jack play."

"Oh-kay." She drew out the word dramatically.

"Aaron's there right?"

"Yeah. He just came in to check on me."

"Ok, good. Tell him what's wrong. Talk to him and if you still want to come home after, you call me and I'll hop right into the car to come get you.'

"Alright. I love you mommy."

"And I love you Charlie Bear. Be good like I know you are, but know you can call me anytime ok?"

"Ok." One last round of byes and Charlie hung up the phone with a sigh. It was time to face him, and that was more terrifying than the dark she came to fear there.

"What's going on Charlie? Is there something wrong?" He asked after he kindly took the phone from her. He just wanted to hug her and soothe her and make things better because she looked so little and scared. And he knew her well enough, he saw her brave faced in a hospital bed, to know that she was a tough kid. And it killed him to see her like this.

"I don't know."

"Are you feeling ok?"

"Yes."

Ok, he thought, he could handle this. "Can I try reading you a story? It would mean a lot to me." She nodded. "Why don't we read it in my room? We can lay in my bed and I'll read to you until you're ready to go to sleep again."

"Ok." She said timidly. Hotch stood from the bed and held his arms open for her. He was the father of a fragile and sensitive, yet strong and brave little girl. He was going to nurture that ad take whatever over and affection she'd give and allow him to give back. He was thrilled when she allowed him to carry her. Even more thrilled when she fell into the embrace, resting her head on his shoulder and wrapping her arms tightly around his neck. "Can't forget this." He said as he hunched just enough to grab Jazz and tuck the purple toy into their arms. He reveled in the fatherly feel that took over; how light ad perfect she felt in his arms. She just fit.

"Here we go." He whispered to her as he gently placed him down. "And here's Jazz."

"Thank you."

"Now, get comfortable. I'm going to grab a book."

"Ok." He returned shortly with a book I hand and a warm cup of cocoa.

"When I was a kid and I couldn't sleep, my mom would bring me hot chocolate."

"With marshmallows?"

"Extra marshmallows." He assured her.

"Thank you." It didn't need to be said to be felt. The smile he got was thanks enough.

"You're welcome. Ready for that story now?"

"Yes."

Hotch took his place and pulled the covers up high enough to cover their waists. Opening the book and making sure Charlie was alright, he began to read. The little girl sipped at her drink as she listened intently. She wasn't ready to say it to him, not quite yet, but she was enjoying his company. She was comfortable with him too. He even noticed how she inched a little closer every now and then. By the end of the book, she was practically cuddled up to him and any move would jostle her. Though, he wasn't complaining. This was all he wanted with her. Noticing she was nearing sleep, he carefully took the half emptied cup from her hands and put it aside.

"Your bed is comfy." She mumbled into his side.

"You can stay in here tonight. If that's ok with you." He didn't want her to be uncomfortable with anything.

"Mmhmm." It was more an unintelligible murmur, but he knew what she meant. And, the fact that she was asleep right after was answer enough.

He savored the moment. His daughter, who he has had ups and downs with lately and more of the latter for a while there, was by his side, literally. She was comfortably sleeping next to him. He was her protector and comforter. And, though a warning call with words of wisdom from Emily helped guide him through, he did it on his own. He soothed her and helped her. It was great. And, in the late hour with her there, he easily fell asleep too.

Back at the Prentiss household, Clyde was trying to get Emily to relax a little. They were both very much awake. "She's fine love."

"Is she? My baby misses me and…"

"And she's in good hands."

"You don't even like him. Why are you supporting him?" Logically she got it, but her emotions were everywhere. That happened when a mother got a call from her child in the middle of the night.

"I'm not. I'm supporting her and you. You and I know the importance of a father… or rather, the lack there of." Both their fathers were pretty absentee. Hers had work and his had booze. "She gets to have hers. She wants that. And I know you do as well. There are going to be bumps and bruises along the way, but it's all par for the course. It's not all smooth sailing."

"I know… I know that."

"So listen to me. She's fine. If she weren't you would know. No more worrying. Let me distract you work has had me occupied all evening and I haven't had the chance to discuss with you one of the many things I wish to discuss."

"And you want to do it now? At midnight?"

"Yes. I feel it is something you will need to sit with and will require some time."

"And now I have to know… What is it Clyde?"

They spent what portion of the day he wasn't on the phone, discussing what has happened with Aaron and Charlie and just catching up. Every time he attempted to bring up the topic, something intervened and kept him from completing the thought. But there was nothing now. He was going to get it out and leave her a little lost.

"Really?" She asked when he finished.

"Yes." He stood and kissed her cheek. "I know you. You'll want to think about this and analyze and live in your head for a while. We can discuss this more tomorrow. Goodnight." With that he parted.

He was right. She wasn't sure what to do with that. It was… It was a lot to take in and think about. It definitely kept her up until the wee hours when the heavy lids became too much and exhaustion just took over. And morning came much too quickly. Like a zombie, she found her way into the kitchen with a large pot of coffee brewing. Sitting in the dark with her massive cup, she just let the thoughts start up again. There were too many and she wasn't sure what to do with Clyde's… proposition…

"Morning." She said when Clyde entered.

"Good morrow Love."

"Coffee?" She asked.

"Please."

She set a cup down in front of him and poured from the pot. "Cream and sugar's on the table."

"Thank you." Taking a sip, he relaxed into the chair across from Emily. "How did you sleep?"

"I didn't. Not much. There was too much on my mind." Charlie… What they talked about… Hotch… Everything…

"Did you give it any thought?"

"Yes… No… I don't know."

"What does that mean?"

"It means… That's a lot to think about Clyde. I don't… I don't know what to say right now."

"I don't expect an answer immediately. I feel I know what you'll choose, but I had to put it out there."

"I… You know I love you Clyde I just…"

"I know Love. Just think about it."

"I… I will."

She definitely would, but she couldn't then. They had places to be and things to do. First up was Charlie's game. She was thrilled to see them both there and even non-combative when Hotch yelled and cheered for her too. And then there was Jack's game. Charlie eagerly jumped at the chance to see her brother, much to the delight of her parents. And the boy was happy to see her too, if only sparsely.

And during the game, Charlie happily sat with Clyde and Emily, talking their ears off. Emily was never more grateful for her distraction. She was thrilled to see that whatever Hotch went with worked because the girl was genuinely excited to go back with him after the game.

"We've got plans mommy; big, super fun plans."

"And I'm not invited?" She asked playfully.

"You can come if you want."

"No, no thanks. But I think I'll have to pass this time."

"Ok. It's going to be fun though. You're missing out."

"I bet."

She was positively delighted with the change in attitude. The day was going well for them all. There was a bit of a hiccup though. At Jack's game, a woman kept watching her. At first she thought nothing of it; another parent there perhaps, but she was staring at her kid too. It was weird and awkward. And she couldn't quite make out the face.

Later she learned it was Beth… Hotch's Beth. And that opened a whole new door of issues to deal with. How was she supposed to feel about that? Were they that serious? Why was she there? Was she going to be around Charlie? Yeah, she made note to talk to him about that when they had some time to discuss it privately. Clyde did his best to mediate her mind but there was only so much he could do. He knew how she worked. It was another mess o add to the ever growing pile. They were similar that way. But she would come to him when she was ready and he'd do what he could in the meantime.

After the games were over and goodbyes said, Charlie and Hotch were alone once again. "Ready?" He asked her.

"Uh huh." She responded.

Clicking the buckle of her helmet to secure it on, Hotch then hopped on his bike so they could begin their excursion. And an excursion it was. Not only was it fun for both of them, but it was fairly therapeutic. By the time he dropped her off that night, more progress was made than he could've anticipated. He realized, he just had tos top being scared of her rejection and words and be the dad he knew he was.

Doing that worked, more than he knew.

When Charlie was being tucked in that night, after telling Emily all about the bike ride with her father, she stopped her mother from leaving. "What is it Charlie?"

"I love you mommy."

"And I love you."

"I think…"

"What?"

"I think I'm going to like having a dad." Emily smiled.

"I think you will too."

"But I always want you too."

"Same goes for me kid. You're stuck with me."

"Good, because I wouldn't want my dad if I couldn't have my mom too."

Emily was… a bit confused… and happy that Charlie was so much more open to the reality of Hotch's new role… And, also, a little sad to see her daughter so grown up. She sounded so wise and mature. Her baby was getting older. Confused still, though, because why would her daughter think she couldn't have both a mother and a father? It wasn't a one or the other situation… There'd need to be a little clarification on that one. One more thing to talk with Hotch about.

But it'd have to wait. "Night Charlie."

"Night mommy." Emily smiled one last time at her daughter and retreated to her room. She still had so much to think about. And she needed to keep track of all the things she needed to talk to others about and who she needed to talk to who about.

Come the start of the next week and she was sure it was going to be an interesting day.

Emily was right about that. The work day sure was interesting. The briefing was, surprisingly, light and upbeat; definitely two words rarely, if ever, associated with murder and crime. But Hotch was, well he was happy. The occasional smile that he couldn't keep off his face made Emily's heart flutter, but it also made things pretty uncomfortable to have a superior grin as he discussed a serial killer who liked to mow down his victims in a semi-truck. Garcia even made a comment about it, "And he wants to have me drug tested. It's like someone shot him up with happy juice or he finally let out some of his happy juice if you know what I'm saying." Unfortunately, they all knew what she was saying.

And she had to talk to JJ at some point. She did promise. But, despite all the weird and the massive amount of thought crap to sift through, it was a good day; a good Monday.

It was for Hotch too. He sat there gleefully in his office clicking through the different entries on the website, carefully inspecting each one. So wrapped up in his search, he didn't even realize Dave was walking into the room. "Don't tell me you've got that many reports to do. I know you take work home and it's still too early for there to be a pile on your desk to sift through."

"It's not work." He stated.

Oh, personal then?" Nosily, he walked closer to sneak a peek of the computer. "Real estate hunting?" He questioned.

Not filtering his thoughts, so absorbed in the hunt, he said, "My apartment's too small. I have two kids now who I want to offer a home not just a place to crash. So I'm looking at houses."

Brows deeply furrowed, Rossi leaned a little closer and asked, "You have two kids?" Uh oh…

**So, that concludes the update. And a cliffhanger… Oh no! And I skipped some good moment, I know. It' part of the master plan. You have to stick around to find out the cute and serious details missing from the weekend. **

**Ok, so this chapter is unedited, like I said in the opening author's note, but will be updated when I have more time. And when I do, I will write the personal review responses I usually include. For now, though, please accept my virtual hug and huge thank you for reading and reviewing and sticking by this crazy ride. **

**You are all awesome! Seriously… beyond awesome! Thank you all so, so much for finding my work worthy of any nomination and more than that, your time. I'm so thankful for all the support I've gotten thus far on this writing journey.**

**Be prepared. I, once again, took most Beth moments out of this chapter, but I can't promise the same for next.**

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**


	34. Resolution in Revelation

_I do not own Criminal Minds, only the characters I have created in that world._

**So, I'm very, very late at this, but thank you all so much for voting for me in the Profilers Choice Awards. I'm beyond honored to have won anything. That was where I wanted to start, with a moment of gratitude to let you know, that slow at updating or not, I haven't forgotten this story and I will not forget it. Your views, reviews, and just general support is amazing and very much appreciated. Thanks so much for all your continued support. I'm a very lucky girl, I know. Now, sorry for the very, very long inexcusable delay… Read on and try not to hate me too much…**

**Chapter 34: Resolution in Revelation**

Uh oh was right! He really just said that. Immediately stilling, he became rigid hoping that time would magically reverse itself if he was still enough. It was a fruitless dream though. It wasn't going to happen. It took him a second after the fact to realize what he even said and by that point, it was too late to do anything about it. The bell was rung. It couldn't be unheard. He felt both relieved and anxious at the same time. He was unburdened, but it could go either way…

"What?" That was all he could think to say; his fix all word of wisdom… What a winner… What? What, what?

"I've known you a long time. I heard about Jack when he was born, but never another. That seems like something I'd know about. Since when do you have two kids?" Rossi gave him that patented Rossi stare where one brow was raised… it was that all knowing skeptical look he got from time to time. "Aaron… Am I missing something here? Last I checked, the census bureau only had one Hotchner child registered."

"And that's still the case." Technically…

"But there's something you're not saying. Who's this other kid? What's going on?" Was he having a post-divorce meltdown and imagining children he didn't have? Rossi was sure he would've caught that earlier, so it had to be something else.

"It's… it's nothing…" It was anything but nothing; something… so much more than something. She was everything. Both children were everything to him, to the situation… just in general they were everything.

"Is this new girl of yours pregnant?" He hadn't been dating long. Rossi doubted he has done much more than kiss the woman. Then again, times have changed and so had Aaron. What did he know?

"What? Beth… No?" He couldn't imagine her ever being pregnant. She wasn't the most apt when it came to children and boundaries. The weekend proved that. Catching on to his own tone, he turned it down a little. Even tempoed, he restated it. "No, she's not pregnant."

"No, I didn't think so." Dave put his hands on the desk and leaned forward. "So tell me Aaron if she's not pregnant, who is? Or was? Who's the other kid?"

"I… You see…" Was there a way to talk himself out of this one? Was there a way to keep the truth between the three, well four since JJ knew too, of them a little longer? No, he thought. JJ knew. Emily had to her to go to if she needed. And, while she may not have brought it to the blonde herself, she could still confide in her friend now. He should be able to have a third party too; someone other than his brother or Emily herself to talk to. "I have another child." Even knowing that, he was reluctant to say more. It wasn't that he thought it'd be unfair to Emily. He knew she'd understand, and Dave was the most likely to understand the situation and all it entails. It was… They kept it close to the vest for obvious reasons, but it was more than that. There was also the privacy and space to deal with it on their own, in their own way, without watchful profiler eyes and opinions. And, beyond that, without the team knowing, she was still just his. There weren't any added complications or pressures. There were no judgmental stares and thoughts. But, he guessed he'd have to prepare himself for all of that. They weren't planning on keeping it a secret much longer. Who better to practice with than Rossi?

"I gathered, but I'm going to need more than that Aaron."

Ignoring the older man's wise cracks, Hotch just followed his own train of thought. "Have you ever done something that you probably should've regretted, but never could?"

"How is that relevant?" He had a number of those moments, but didn't see this as the opportunity to discuss them.

"I don't mean something bad either, just something that isn't expected; something with a little moral ambiguity,"

"What are you even taking about?" Rossi really wasn't following.

"I always lived my life doing what was right. I did well in school because it was what was expected of me. I went to law school because my father did and that was what was mapped out for me. I've always done what was deemed right for me by someone else. But, somewhere along the line, that stopped. It wasn't working for me. Not then and maybe not now either."

"I suppose… we all have moments like that?" Realizing this was Hotch's roundabout way of getting to where they needed to be, Rossi rolled with it.

"There were circumstances that made me question where I was and the mind frame I was in and… and she offered me solace." She who? Rossi wondered. "She gave me the escape I needed at the time and the feelings I craved. She didn't ask questions or expect anything from me. She didn't want me to be something I wasn't or couldn't be. She was just there and that was what I needed. She was what I needed."

"So you slept with a woman," He concluded. "Big deal. We've all done it. You're a divorced man with needs. It's natural."

Rossi was missing the bigger picture; something rarely said synonymously with the old man. "You don't get it." Apparently not…

"Then enlighten me. Please."

"I wasn't divorced… at the time. I wasn't."

"So you cheated?" He asked skeptically; not appalled or judgment filled, just with a tone that made it clear he found that hard to believe. That didn't sound like the Aaron he knew then or now.

"Not exactly… Well, if you want to get technical, then yes, but…"

"But what?"

"We were separated and agreed to…" What was a delicate way to word it? "Pursue other options." That seemed like the best way to put it. Haley dated other men and he… Well, he had what he had with Emily.

"And you did?"

"In a sense, yes."

"Was it serious? Clearly it was if there's a kid involved. Why didn't I know about this?"

"I wasn't exactly broadcasting it to the public." And he wasn't really around at the time. At that point, he was an old mentor he exchanged a few random telephone calls with throughout the years.

"Ok. What happened in your marriage is between you and Haley. Fair enough. As long as you know I'm here to talk to about whatever with absolutely no room to pass judgment." He stated clearly. "I assume it happened towards the end of your marriage." Though he'd be wrong. "How old is this kid? A newborn? A few months old?" That'd be the assumption.

"It's a girl…" He clarified. "A daughter… And no… No she… She's not a baby."

"A toddler then?" Aaron shook his head no. "Then how old is she?" He didn't want to play a guessing game. This wasn't 20 questions. It was share time, questions optional, divulging not.

"She's… five." He could hear the way his voice changed with the word, cracking like a pubescent boy.

"So you've had a kid for years now and no one knew. What? Are you taking a page from Emily's playbook now?" Right away he noticed the change in the younger man at the mention of Emily. It wouldn't be noticeable to most, but it was to him. The boss man just hardened and steeled himself as if trying to keep the secrets locked in. The blocks were starting to piece together and things were becoming clearer. "Oh… Oh! I get it now. It's all making sense. I don't know why I didn't see it before. She's yours. Isn't she? She's your daughter." Aaron just looked to him, almost afraid to admit it. Proud as he was to be her father, he knew actions and moments would be called into question.

He didn't have the words to answer. Saying yes didn't seem to suffice, but it answered the question perfectly. Just yes… "Yes."

Emily was about to get into a situation just like that; a bound to be emotional talk with a good friend. Though, if she could come up with a reasonable excuse to get out of it, she would've. Probably… Or not. It was a promise after all and she has broken enough of those.

But that wasn't the point. She knew it was coming and she prepared herself as best she could. It wasn't going to be so bad… Hopefully. She was actually sitting at her desk rummaging through some older case files when JJ made her move. "Want to take an early lunch?" The blonde asked.

"Oh… um… I was supposed to meet Clyde." Not a lie and she did have to give evasion some effort even if only to fail. But, given the look on her friend's face, she knew even attempting it was stupid. "But I can call him and tell him we'll just have to stick to dinner. Give me ten minutes and then we can go."

"Alright." JJ said. "Don't go anywhere." She made it very clear she was watching her; making sure she didn't flee.

"Just have to make a quick call and put this stuff away. I'm not going anywhere. Promise." She assured her, but even as JJ walked away, she kept a look out. Emily was not escaping her this time. And for once, she wasn't planning on running. There was no need and no plan to run.

So, after doing exactly what she said she was going to, Emily put the last of the files securely in the drawer and grabbed her bag. Walking up to the blonde's desk she asked, "Where do you want to go?"

"Somewhere quiet." She stated.

"And private so we can talk without anyone from the bureau stumbling upon us and eavesdropping." She was paranoid. She had reason.

They settled on a café a few streets over that was less frequented by FBI and government employees because it was a little pricey. Emily planned on paying anyways; the price wasn't as much an issue as privacy was and she was willing to lighten her wallet a bit for it. "This place is nice. Fancier than I would've thought. Not much of a lunch crowd." JJ said as they were being escorted to their table.

Overhearing, the woman seating them said, "You beat the lunch rush. Give it another hour or so and we'll be turning people away." She pointed to their seats. "A waitress will be by shortly."

"Thank you." Emily said as the woman walked away. "So…"

"So…"

"I uh… I guess we have some talking to do." She was nervous.

"I guess so." JJ waited.

"How was your weekend?" Emily stalled. She wanted to talk. She wanted to let it all out, but there was still this instinctive filter that stopped her no matter how hard she tried to shut it off. It was broken, and, maybe, she was a little broken too. Wasn't everyone in their own way; her just more so than others?

"You know, the usual. Played with Henry, went to a soccer game, had some family time, tried not to think about everything you're avoiding…" She added snidely. "Typical weekend. Yours?"

"Mine wasn't so typical."

"Do share."

"I'm sorry JJ."

"Oh don't you dare!" She was getting angry; no not getting. She was angry. "You can't do this. You don't get to know talk about it. There's no 'sorry JJ.' We're talking. Here and now. No excuses." Her face was red with rage as she huffed. She waited! She wasn't letting Emily use her spy evasion skills to get out of it.

"Ok… I deserved that. Maybe I should've been clearer. I'm sorry… that I made you wait and put you through this, but it was the only way I knew how to get through this week. And it wasn't fair to you. You're you… You're an amazing friend and you… You put up with my inability to be… well, any kind of decent friend. I admit… I was angry with you; upset with what you did."

"You know I didn't…"

"I know you didn't mean to break the news to her, but you did. And… it hurt. It hurt me because I couldn't do what I planned on doing. I didn't get to play through a vital piece of my daughter's life. And it hurt Aaron that she didn't take it well at all… She said she hated him Jayje. She said she hated me. I… She never said that to me before…"

JJ reached her hand across the table to take her friend's, "Oh Em. I'm so sorry. I know that hurts."

"But none of that matters. Yes, it hurt, but I'm an adult and I can handle it. My daughter, however, was a confused mess."

"Was?" JJ caught.

"Still is… But it's better now. She's doing better. I think."

"I'm sorry Emily. You say you know that, but I still need to say it again. I am sorry." She emphasized.

"Ok, so we got that out of the way." Emily smiled, breaking the slight air of tension. "Now, I need some coffee and some comfort food so we can move onto the rest."

"That can be managed." JJ smiled and waved over the waiter.

When the ladies got there coffees stirred and food in front of them, the real talking began. JJ was the first to speak. "So, you asked me to wait. And I did. Something went down this weekend. Spill."

"I honestly don't know where to begin."

"The start's usually a good place."

"It also helps to know where that is." Emily laughed to herself. There were no clear lines in her life. The ones she set were drawn in sand and quickly faded by the changing tide. Things were meshed and others separated, but one thing rang true through all aspects of her life; she wasn't setting all the rules. Fate seemed to do that.

"Something had to have happened."

"Clyde's here, obviously… and thankfully. I don't think I could've survived without him."

JJ was hurt, but decided not to let it show. Her friend needed someone to lean on and she chose him instead of her. Ouch, but understandable she guessed given the situation. Still stung like a bee though. "What happened?"

"Charlie spent the past few days with Hotch." Emily disclosed, deciding to just jump in.

"She did?!" JJ asked. "How did that go?"

"I think… I think I was more of a wreck than her." Emily said.

_Emily had to fight the urge to follow them home. It was like she was letting go and she wasn't ready for it. What if Charlie started to like him better? She knew that wasn't logical. Charlie had to just like and accept him first before there could be a better, but still… It was a fear; a real one. That was their reality. Charlie needed to learn to let him in and lean on him and Emily needed to learn to let her go and allow them the room to grow together without her in the equation. It was devastating and heartbreaking just to think about. _

_She didn't even know how long she as sitting in her car after they left, but she just couldn't seem to move. If she stayed routed there, it wasn't parting. It was like she was waiting for the class to be finished and she was going to go in and get Charlie any second. But that wasn't the case. She was sharing Charlie now. Charlie wasn't coming home… yet. _

_They were gone though and she was just stuck. _

_Her phone rang and pulled her from her trance. The car was long gone and she was still staring at it's phantom image. "Clyde." She answered._

"_Is that any way to greet a friend?" He teased._

"_It was perfectly friendly."_

"_Yes, of course. So, where are you Darling?"_

"_I'm…" Don't say… Don't say…"I'm on my way home."_

"_How long have they been gone Em?" Her sigh matched his. How did he know?_

"_Not… too long…"_

"_Come home Love. You'll be alright."_

"_It's not me I'm worried about."_

"_He'll be alright too." He laughed._

"_Clyde!"_

"_She will as well. You know this. If you felt she was ill taken care of with him, she would be with you right now. You need to let this happen like you wanted and come home. I'll make us a tea and brunch spread. We'll dine together."_

"_Clyde I…"_

"_No Emily, you must return or I'll be forced to retrieve you."_

"_I… "She thought it over. She knew him. He would come and he would take her by force if need be. "Fine. I'm coming. I'll be there soon."_

_Upon her arrival, she was in immediate need of consolation. She was a mess; a real hot mess. But Clyde was Clyde and did what he always did. He picked her up and helped her out._

"You could've told me. You could've called me. I would've been there to help you or just keep you company. I wouldn't have made you talk about it."

"I know Jayje." She did. "I know." She just didn't know how to accept that all the time. She wasn't alone anymore. She didn't just have Clyde she had a whole family.

Sighing, and anxious to hear the rest, JJ decided to bite her tongue. "Next time, just call me. Ok?"

"Ok."

"Say it."

"Next time you're the first person I call."

"I better be." She joked, though, joke or not, she was serious. "Right now though, I want you to tell me more. What did you and Clyde talk about?" She wanted to know his secret to breaking down all the Prentiss walls.

"We'll get more into that later." Possibly. They'd have a whole lot of dirt to dig into. Emily wasn't holding back… mostly. But what they talked about, his proposition… it was a game changer. She needed to think about it to know what she thought about it and she couldn't have other's thoughts in there too… Too much thinking. But she wasn't holding back…

And neither was Hotch. Rossi was just what he needed; an ear to bend and a friend to share with. "I… Well…"

"She is, isn't she?"

"She… she… yes." He conceded, bowing his head under the heavy burden of the lies he was holding onto. "Charlie's my daughter." Pressure seemed to be relieved with every word. "My daughter with…"

"With Emily." He interrupted flabbergasted. How had he not seen it? Those dimples and that frown… it was all Aaron. She was Emily, but that was Aaron. "How… when… I don't even know what to ask."

"It's all a lot, I know." It was for him too. "But she is mine; my daughter."

"Wow." He was still stunned. It all made sense now, but he wouldn't have guessed it. He wasn't sure how he missed it, but he still would've never guessed it. "So, five years and you've said nothing?" Then he remembered, "Didn't Emily say her father wasn't in the picture? Was that a lie to cover it up?"

"No… umm… I… I wasn't in the picture for a while." His head hung in shame, but the older man got it.

"You didn't know?" He gathered. Oh that Emily… she was… exactly how he imagined any daughter he would've ever had; very introverted, always full of secrets, troubled but not in a way that people take notice of…

"No, I didn't. Not for some time."

"When did she tell you?" He was doing the calculations in his head, figuring out when all the changes started happening, looking for the details he overlooked before or wrote off as something else.

"In the hospital… after Doyle. She was heavily medicated and just coming out of her coma when she first said it. I thought she was just out of it and thought little of it. She could've been seeing anyone with all the drugs she was on, but then it was confirmed." He explained. "She let me know it was the truth."

"You didn't take it well."

"Not at all." And he regretted every moment he wasted on anger.

"Aaron…" He could only imagine. "She wasn't right then." And he knew there was more to it than the Doyle baggage, which would've been more than enough to handle. Add in raising and finding a way to care for a child and then whatever Hotch did and anyone would've been a wreck. But, he had to sympathize with Hotch. He understood his pain too. He was a wreck in his own right. "What happened?"

"She uh… she sent me to her house where things were left for me explaining everything; showing me everything." His hand ran over his face. "I… I made a mess of things after that." He admitted. "I, for lack of a better word, freaked. I panicked and reacted purely in that panic. I just… lost it."

"I saw her after that many times. She was physically, though struggling, doing better, but emotionally you could see she was hurting. I thought it was because of all she went through and I'm sure that's part of it, but you are too. Aren't you? Maybe a bigger part of it… What did you do?" He didn't ask with accusation or malice. Truth was, he understood in some ways. Rossi experienced the loss of a child and, though Hotch was gaining one, it must've felt like he lost one too because he missed out on those vital childhood years. He gained something, someone wonderful and perfect, but he still lost someone he would never really know.

"I… said some things." That was putting it mildly or sure.

"I'm going to need a little more than that to go on before I can say anything."

"I… I'm not sure I'm ready for this conversation." He thought he was and he wanted to be, but he wasn't ready to be the known bad guy. It was one thing when his alter ego of nameless deadbeat dad was whispered about after the first, of what he perceived to be many, Charlie revelations, but it was another to give those thoughts merit because of his own moment of idiocy.

Angered by that, Rossi stood, hands fisted and resting against the head of the desk as he leaned over it, standing intimidatingly above the other man. "Well get ready Aaron because I need to know if I'm going to fight to defend you should the need arise or fight against you. We're friends, but I'm not naive enough to believe you infallible. We're profilers. We know what the masses are capable of. I need to know what you did if you want my support. But, bear in mind, I am your friend and I want to help you through whatever and be here for you whenever. I'm here for Emily too though." Finishing up, his hands reluctantly unclenched as he took a deep breath and sat again.

"I was lost Dave." He sighed. "I never felt anything like it in my life. How was I both so thrilled and so completely angry at the same time?"

"Both powerful emotions… they can leave you stupid."

"And they did." His head shook with the memories. "I went into her house with questions, but I left with more. I learned Charlie was my daughter, but it didn't seem real. And though there were a million others on my mind, the only one I really heard was my voice asking how she could do this to me. How could Emily keep her from me? And, I think, in that moment, through no real forethought or conscious intent, my mind made the decision for me. I wanted Emily to feel what I was feeling; hurt the way I was."

"So you made her feel that way?" It was a natural assumption. He saw where they were headed and it wasn't a pretty road.

"I'm not even sure why I did it. Why I said what I did… But the look on her face…" And he hated to admit, never having done so before. "It gave me this twisted sense of satisfaction." And broke him all the same.

"Yeah? And then?"

"And then it eventually wore off."

"But not before you were a major _stronzo_." He threw in some Italian for good measure.

"Yeah…" And he was shameful of it. "I did some damage. I'm still trying to make up for it, even if just to myself."

"What is it you said Aaron?"

"I…"

While he figured out what he needed to divulge and realized he needed to bear all truths, Emily and JJ were in the midst of discussing how her side of the weekend went.

"Clyde did that?"

"He's a better guy than people give him credit for. Beyond his brutish English exterior is a real gentleman caller."

"Huh… And he's sexy too. So, why hasn't he made you an honest woman?"

"I don't know how much of an honest woman I can ever be." She joked. "But that kind of relationship… it wouldn't work out."

"Well, how would you know?" They were off topic, but JJ was dying for a little more dirt on that front too and she was milking this whole fee speech thing they had going on. "Oh my God!" The blonde nearly screamed, eliciting strange looks from the few other patrons there. Now, blushing almost as badly as Emily was, she mouthed a sorry to them before refocusing on her friend. "You totally slept with him!"

"What? No… I…"

"So did." Her eyes shined with the mischievous glint of gossip. It was juicy. She couldn't help but bring out her inner Garcia. "Don't lie."

"We tried it… once… a relationship."

"Oh yeah? And?" More please…

"And it… didn't work."

"Em… you've been holding back on me." But that was nothing new. "I need the details, like the real details."

"I thought we were discussing the Charlie Hotch situation, not my love life."

"Your love life?" There was that smirk again.

"My past romantic interludes." She corrected.

"So you admit there was an interlude?"

"I can't win can I?"

"Nope, you're going to have to talk to me… Me, your best friend who tells you everything and would willingly keep all your secrets if given to hold onto."

"I get it Jayje. No need to guilt trip me. There was a thing… a brief thing between us that we both agreed was nothing more than what it was."

"Which was?"

"Really awesome sex between two close friends?" Was that enough to divulge?

"Oh it was awesome?!" Her teeth were on full display. "Do tell."

"It was a long time ago… He is… well you've met him. Would you have any complaints?"

"No… No I don't think I would." Oh god, she so wouldn't.

"He's great… he's perfect… and the sex was… definitely at the top of the list."

"Then why aren't you together? What's stopping you?"

"We could potentially be amazing together, but we could also be a disaster. I know he has always been there for me and he is one of the few outside the team I know I can always go to. And I can't lose that. We barely see each other as it is and we make the effort. Getting into a relationship would make that worse. We're both happy with what we have. Our jobs and our personalities… it's like he's the male me of England. It won't work. We missed our window and now we lead separate lives. I love him and I know he loves me, just not in the way we need for a romantic relationship to work." But god, if they did, life would be so much easier.

"Ok… I guess I can understand that… Still, if he's who you want, you can make it happen… But wait, before you said at the top of the list? But you've had better?" She asked curiously.

She nodded sheepishly. "Just with one person."

"The guy you want to be with… Who?" And then, JJ realized, with the look on Emily's face, it could only be one person. "Hotch?"

"I don't know how to explain it. It was… perfect… I don't know… Maybe I just want it to be more than it was because of Charlie."

"No, no… I think, maybe, you had real feelings for him even then. Having Charlie just reminds of those feelings. You know what you feel and I think he feels it too. He's just a little… dense right now." If only she knew the half of it… Emily would tell her…

"I don't know… but I don't really want to think about it either. He has a girlfriend… I'm…" single and pining… "The focus is Charlie and family."

"Ok, fine, I'll take that. But before I cut you a break and we go back to the original topic, let me just say, don't forget about you. You have needs and wants; you deserve someone too."

"Thanks Jayje." She said sincerely.

"Ok, so that's that for now… Tell me more about the weekend."

"Clyde did all he could for me, but he kept getting called by work. There was an emergency he had to attend to and as much as he hated it, there was no ignoring it."

"Yet, he still made you feel better?"

"Yes… and no. We had a lot to talk about. He wanted to know what went on with Hotch and me, especially after a talk we had before he flew in. And he had something he wanted to talk to me about too. It just seemed, with all the calls, most of the talking was him trying to keep me from calling or texting Aaron to see how Charlie was doing. Finally, he just took my phone away and promised if anything came in from him, he'd return it. I was pissed, but I knew he was right… We agreed to the weekend for both their sakes… so they can bond and Charlie can understand the situation better, so I had to give them their father daughter space. And Clyde did what he could to take care of me… pamper me really."

"He's good to you."

"He is." Better than she deserved. "And he made me feel better. Distracted me when he could… cooked for me… Everything… And Charlie was so excited to see him when we went to the soccer games."

"Oh, he went with you?" Her eyes sparkled with mischief, like she was in on a secret that Emily wasn't aware of.

"Of course…" Emily responded, unsure what JJ was thinking or what that look meant. Why wouldn't he have gone with her?

"And? How did our Unit Chief take that?"

"Well, how was he supposed to take it?" She asked confused. "It was fine. He knew Clyde would be there. And I'm sure Charlie probably told him…"

"But how did he react?"

"Uh… He seemed perfectly ok, just happy that Charlie was happy?"

The blonde sighed, her friend could be dense sometimes. "Why don't you just tell me what happened?"

_Clyde and Emily pulled into the field's lot, her eyes instantly scanning the area for his car. When she found it, she sat there for a moment just staring until Clyde's hand landed just above her knee and gave a gentle squeeze. "Ready Love?"_

"_Absolutely. I miss my little Charlie Bear."_

"_Then what are we stalling for. Let's go see our little Charlotte."_

_The gentleman he was, Clyde opened the car door for her and offered his hand, leading her toward the field where children and parents were just beginning to gather. They were early still, but purposely so. Emily made it a habit and it was one Clyde had formed as well. Something about the early bird and the worm… _

_Arms locked at the elbow, the two found their way to the players, intently searching for Charlie. Only, Charlie wasn't there; not with the other kids. Instead, she surprised them both by sneaking up behind them, running toward them and yelling, "Mommy!"_

_Incredibly happy to see her girl, Emily smiled and pulled away from Clyde so she could drop to her knees and hold her arms wide open for her daughter to fall into. "Hello my baby!" She greeted._

"_I didn't know if you were going to come!"_

"_I said I would. I always come to your games when I'm not on cases."_

"_I know. And Clyde came too!" She then switched to him and gave a big hug._

"_Hello Darling. Ready for some football?"_

"_It's soccer Clyde." They always did their little spiel. Soccer or fooball…_

"_In America maybe. It requires a ball and you use your foot… football. That's what we Brits call it."_

"_But this is America. You have to call it soccer."_

"_Anything for you Charlotte, but just you."_

"_Charlie!" Hotch ran up to them too. "No running away from me like that."_

"_I'm sorry." She said bashfully. "Mommy's here!"_

"_I can see that." He said with a smile before looking to the older woman. "Hello Emily."_

"_Hi Aaron."_

"_Ah Mr. Hotchner. How do you do?" Clyde spoke, sensing he was being ignored by the man. And that was the truth. Aaron was ignoring his presence as best he could. If he said nothing, it was like he wasn't there… Or, that was what he wanted anyway._

"_Clyde." He managed some cordiality. _

"_Lovely day for some football." Charlie pulled on the cuff of his shirt. "I meant soccer."_

"_Yes it is." Hotch said in mock cheeriness. _

"_Hey Charlie Bear." Emily interrupted the tension. "Why don't you go be with your team? I think they're starting stretches and you don't want to miss that. I'll be in my usual spot, so you just have to look for me and I'll be there."_

"_Alright. But don't go anywhere." She said sternly before hopping along to her teammates._

_With her gone, Emily took Clyde and started walking, cuing Aaron to come too. "So… how was… last night after the call?"_

"_I sent you a message. You know how it was." He had an anger that he couldn't explain and knew he shouldn't be feeling. _

"_Come on. I need more." She didn't want to se his anger either, so she chose not to. _

_He softened. He understood her attachment. "It was good. She… let me read to her… She fell asleep in my arms and it felt… it felt right."_

"_Oh Aaron." Her hand instinctively went to his, but she stopped herself and put it on his shoulder instead. Giving a squeeze, she said, "I'm happy it got better." And she was so happy…just a little left out too. "She didn't fight you too much?"_

"_Not at all. She's… well an angel."_

"_You're just saying that because she's our kid." She teased. "We know she's a little monster No need to lie, Clyde knows all about it."_

_Hotch's smile fell. "I'm sure he does." He pulled away from Emily who wasn't sure what happened, and said, "We should grab seats before they're all gone." _

_Emily looked to the bleachers. Not one seat was filled. Baffled, but reluctant to ask, she just said, "Sure. Are you going to sit with us?"_

"_That'd be fine." He spoke formally as if they hadn't known each other for years or shared such intimate times together. "We'll need some room for Jack too. Haley's dropping him off shortly."_

"_Not a problem." She responded. "I can't wait to see him."_

"_I'm sure he'll be happy to see you too."_

_As they walked to the bleachers, Clyde leaned in and whispered in her ear, "That was quite a spectacle."_

"_Shut up Clyde." She knew it was weird. She didn't need him telling her that. _

_They found their spots and sat in silence, Emily cozying up a little too closely to Clyde for Hotch's liking. Much too close and friendly. But he wouldn't let it show. Shaking it off, he waved to his daughter who was warming up with her team before excusing himself. "I just got a text from Haley. I'm going to grab Jack. I'll be right back." Not that he needed to explain that to her… _

"_I'll be waiting." Did she really just say that? "I'll be waiting." She mimicked in her head. What was wrong with her?_

_He simply nodded and took off. When he returned with Jack, the boy seemed happy to be there. "Hi Emily!" He greeted with a big smile. _

"_Hey Jack. You look like you've grown a whole foot since I last saw you. Are you on steroids?" She joked._

"_No way!"_

"_Nah, you're too good for that."_

_Hotch wouldn't admit it, still in a stage of denial, but he loved watching the brunette with his son. It seemed so… so natural… so meant to be… No, no, he wouldn't think like that. "Push her away." His subconscious told him. "Don't let her get any closer." But it seemed almost impossible. He wanted to cringe at every lean and whisper she shared with the blonde man. He wanted to smile at every laugh she shared with his son. And he ached to know what was going on behind those eyes. _

_He attempted to ignore her as best he could without being obvious about it. "Just focus on the game Hotchner." He said to himself. "Good job Charlie! You're doing great." He cheered. The girl was the real reason they were there. He just had to keep his mind on her and not her mother. _

_Charlie's team won. She even got a goal, one that had the entire family up and screaming, cheering on their little megastar. And no one was more excited than her. Getting to celebrate with not only her mom and Clyde but her brother too, and father too she kind of realized, was icing on her little cake. _

"_Are you coming to Jack's game with me and Aaron?" Charlie asked as they were getting ready to go._

"_Of course. We're going to hang out while Aaron coaches the team." She ruffled her daughter's hair. _

"_Is your boyfriend coming too?" Jack asked Emily and Clyde, sending chills down Hotch's spine and surprise coursing through all the adults. _

"_Boyfriend?" Emily asked, ignoring the daggers she felt, though couldn't look to be sure, Hotch's eyes were throwing at her._

"_Isn't he your boyfriend?" Jack asked pointing to Clyde. He was hoping his dad still had a chance because she seemed to make his dad happy. _

"_Clyde's not mommy's boyfriend!" Charlie laughed. "But that'd be cool. He's not your boyfriend though, right mommy? Even though you have sleepovers, he's not right?" Emily's cheeks flushed red. Hotch's too for a much different reason. _

"_Uh…"_

"_No young Hotchner. Though an honor it would be, I am not her boyfriend."_

_Hotch heard nothing after his daughter's revelation about sleepovers… "Let's go kids." Hotch rushed them, keeping his anger repressed. He needed to get in his car and away from her. Boyfriend?!_

"They needed to get there early before the rest of the team." Emily justified Hotch's odd behavior.

"Wait, wait, wait." JJ interrupted.

"What?"

"Em he rushed off." JJ explained like that was explanation enough.

"So, he had to get there to meet the team." She said.

"Oh Emily, for a profiler, you can be really blind sometimes." She took offense to that.

"Hey, what does that mean?" Did she tell her or let her friend figure it out on her own?

Tell her… "Em, he was jealous of Clyde."

"I guess that'd make sense…" JJ perked up like things were finally making sense with her friend about the relationship she knew she wanted. She was disappointed. "I mean, it's clear he envies Charlie's relationship with Clyde. And she was so excited to see him…"

"That's… that's not what I meant." Poor oblivious Emily…

"Then what did you mean?"

"He was jealous… of Clyde…" she got that. "…and you…"

"Jealous?! Jayje, that's ridiculous. Why would he be jealous of my friend being there when his girlfriend was there too?"

"His girlfriend was there?!" What?! Forget about the rest…

"Yes, I didn't get to that part yet."

"Oh, then please… continue…" So she could once again make the point that, girlfriend or not, their boss was so totally jealous.

If only the two realized that Rossi to the same conclusion as JJ by the end of the night. First, though, that had their own version of that conversation to get through. "Oh Aaron…" Rossi was at a severe loss for words as Hotch finished explaining the events that were the revelation.

"We worked it out Dave. I'm not proud of myself… But somehow… she managed to forgive me. So you can be pissed at me. I'm pissed at me, but I can't hang on that mistake anymore. And I can't have you holding it over me either." He stood up for himself.

"I'm not holding it over you Aaron. I'm surprised and disappointed, but, as you said, Emily found a way to forgive and, well, it's not my place to forgive you or not. What's done is done. We all find a way to move forward."

"That's it?" He expected more.

"That's it."

"Ok." He was still a little lost. Had he misjudged how the team would react to his paternity news? If Rossi was any indication, then he had. But it was Rossi after all…

"Does Haley know?"

"Yes, she does."

"And Jack?"

"Him too."

"How did they take it?"

"Better than I thought they would. Haley was… supportive. That was a difficult time for both of us and each of us strayed from our vows. I expected her to be angry… furious, but she accepted it as best she could. And even though she was a little hurt, she even helped me explain it to Jack."

"That was big of her."

"I know."

"And Jack was Jack about it?"

"Yeah, he was kind of excited; just wants to be a great big brother."

"Sounds like him."

"He's great. Both of my kids are."

"So tell me Aaron, why's this coming to me now. It may have been an accident, but I know you. It's been a secret for months now. If you didn't want me to know, you wouldn't have let it slip." He was better than that. There was a wall there something like Emily's just nowhere near as tall to climb.

"I… we're going to have to tell the team eventually. More and more people are finding out… And… and Charlie found out that day we were at your house… You're my friend Dave and I think I just needed you to know. Emily has JJ and… and Clyde. But I have my ex-wife who I can't tell everything to, not about this, and my kid brother who, yeah I know I can talk to him, but we were never that close. We live in separate worlds."

"You have me Aaron as your friend and confidante." He made it clear. "You both do."

"Thank you."

Clearing his throat, Rossi asked, "So she found out at my house huh? That's why they left in such a hurry?"

"Yeah, she didn't take it well."

"No, well, that's not something someone takes lightly."

"So I noticed." He said plainly. "Jack though, he took it so well. I should be, and I am, grateful for that. I guess one out of two isn't so bad…"

"He's excited to be her brother."

"More than you can imagine. He loves her. And she loves him. They were close even before they knew."

"They're both good kids. Must take after their moms." He winked. "How are things going?"

"I told you she spent the weekend with me for the first time."

"And?"

"She was reluctant at first, but she came around."

"What did you do with her?"

_Not to Hotch's liking, Charlie ended up riding to the other field with Emily and Clyde. Emily reasoned it would give her a chance to get the girl cleaned up a little and changed out of her sweaty soccer gear. And since he had a day planned for the two of them, he couldn't really argue with that. "Fine." He hesitantly agreed. "See you there." With that, he quickly took Jack's hand and fled. _

"_Why are you walking so fast Dad?"_

"_I'm not. Come on." He didn't mean to sound grumpy, but he couldn't help it either. He needed away for a second to collect himself. _

"_Are you angry Dad?"_

"_What?" He stopped. "No, I'm not Jack. I just don't want us to be late."_

"_Ok." He sighed. His dad seemed unhappy and that made him unhappy too. But, he had soccer to worry about and that was enough for now. _

_Just as Hotch was a hotbed of emotional suppression, so was Emily. Things felt awkward with them and she couldn't understand why. And she didn't want it to be. And Clyde was profiling her. She hated when he did that, but she ignored it. She just wanted a little time with her daughter, no other baggage involved. _

_Things got a little awkward at Jack's game. When they got there, the players were just about to take the field and they took the open spots on the bleachers, Charlie nestled in between the two ready to tell them every detail of every minute they were apart. They didn't mind it one bit and it helped keep Emily from thinking about much else. That was, at least, the case until midway through the first half._

_She felt like she was being watched, like someone was doing a surveillance job on her. Maybe she was just being paranoid, she thought. It wouldn't be the first time… Ever since Doyle, and honestly even before that, she had been on high alert; more susceptible to seeing things where maybe they weren't. But no, she definitely felt it. Her eyes scanned the vicinity. No one suspicious. _

"_Should I be worried Darling?" Clyde leaned over Charlie to whisper in her ear. From across the field, Hotch was witnessing their encounter; one much too intimate for his liking. Clipboard in hand, his fingers wrapped around it even tighter. Damn Clyde… "About something other than your boyfriend wanting to make my head the ball in this game?"_

_She pushed him away from her. "You know he's not my…" He so said that on purpose! "He doesn't care about you being here."_

"_I beg to differ. I believe he's trying to murder me with his eyes as we speak."_

"_No he's not." _

"_Ok, he's not." He pretended to concede. She was going to see what she wanted to see and see what is when she was ready. "Then tell me what the matter is. I'm feeling a sudden sense of déjà vu."_

"_I just… I…" She pulled Charlie in for a hug, pushing her ear into her side and covering the other with her hand so the girl didn't hear and worry. "I feel like we're being watched."_

_He immediately mimicked her earlier action and looked around. He didn't want to admit it either, but he felt it too. "You mean other than by lover boy over there." He made light, waving coyly to Hotch who was, indeed, looking their way._

"_Stop it Clyde."_

"_Mommy, what are you doing?" Charlie squirmed out of her mother's grasp._

"_Nothing sweetie. I'm sorry. Watch the game."_

"_Nice Love." Clyde teased. _

"_Stop. I'm being serious Clyde. I feel… off." She said. _

"_I understand." He did. And then he saw it. "I do believe you're being observed."_

"_What? Where? Who?" Her voice was fast and panicked. _

"_Relax Darling… Observed in a nonthreatening, possibly even an admiring way."_

_Her body eased, the tension leaving. "Is he good looking?"_

"_She…" He emphasized. "Is no Emily Prentiss, but she's no hag either."_

"_She?"_

"_Over there." He discreetly pointed and she followed his lead._

_When she looked, something struck her. She saw that woman as they arrived, but, though she wasn't looking either, hadn't noticed her since. Squinting, she tried to get a better look. "Flattering… I guess." It just didn't feel like that was the type of attention she was getting. But, she brushed it off and turned her mind to the game. "Let's go Jack!" She cheered, but her insides were still racing. Something still felt off. _

_By halftime, the feeling was worse. Every time she looked anywhere in the direction of that woman, it seemed like she was watching; staring at the three of them. She kept a close eye on her, but it did little to settle her. The woman's eyes spent a little too much time on her daughter for her own comfort. Something just felt strange and she couldn't shake it, but she did try to ignore it. The other woman didn't scream psycho to her, just a little… predatory. _

_Testing the waters a bit, Emily took Charlie's hand and walked by her to go see Jack. As they passed her, she stared intently, looking them up and down. Emily swore there was a scowl and a hiss. But why? What did she possibly do to her?_

"So she was there? How'd you find out who she was?" JJ asked.

"You wouldn't believe it… I didn't believe it…" And it didn't go over well.

"_Nice coaching." Emily said as they approached him, Charlie immediately heading toward her brother. _

"_Thanks."_

"_She's having a good time." Emily struggled to find conversation as he refused to meet her eyes. "Kept talking about spending time with you. She actually can't wait for your 'date.'"_

"_I can't wait either." He finally looked to her with a smile. "I only get her to myself for a few more hours and I want to make the most of it."_

"_I won't take away from you time with her. You know that right?"_

"_I know."_

"_And I'm sorry if bringing Clyde made you uncomfortable."_

"_What? No, he didn't."_

"_If you're sure."_

"_Yeah… Why would that make me uncomfortable?" He asked rhetorically. _

"_Just… Just checking…" She stuttered before trying to change the subject. "So do you know that woman over there?" She asked, slyly pointing over her shoulder. "She's been watching us."_

_He looked. "Damn it." He hissed. _

"_You know her?" _

"_Yeah… I promise I'll explain later." _

"Wait a second. Your girlfriend was there? At the game?" Rossi asked as he was getting caught up on events.

"Yes. She just… came."

"Uh oh…"

"Uh oh?"

"Tell me what happened." He said instead of explaining.

"_Hi Aaron!" Beth greeted sweetly. _

"_Beth? What are you doing here? I thought we agreed…"_

"_No, you never got back to me." Maybe that should've been a hint… "So I thought I'd stop by and see you."_

"_This isn't ok Beth."_

"_Come on Aaron." She leaned in to kiss him and caught his cheek instead. "It's harmless. I just wanted to watch you coach. Don't be mad."_

"_I'm not… mad." Lie. "I… You just shouldn't be here. My kids are here."_

"_And their mothers…" She added._

"_No, just Emily. Haley is with her sister right now."_

"_So… that's the Emily?" She pointed to the brunette who was now wrapped up with Clyde. "Who's the blonde?"_

"_That's her... That's Clyde."_

"_Oh, boyfriend?" That made her feel better… so much better. _

"_He's a friend… yeah." He guessed. _

"_He's handsome." Great, another woman in his life falling for the Brit's charms. _

"_Sure."_

_Beth didn't like his tone; picked up on his jealousy right away. She wondered if he realized it too. "Look, I'm sorry I just showed up. I just really wanted to see you and… and to see you being a dad even if I don't meet your kids."_

_Just then, Charlie ran over to him. "Aaron! Mommy's taking me to get some snacks! I told her I had to tell you because she taught me I always have to let an adult know where I'm going!"_

"_Ok Charlie. Tell her I'll be there in just a second alright?"_

"_Ok. But hurry because I'm hungry and we need to be back before Jack plays again. I can't miss anything!"_

"_I'll be right there, I swear."_

"_Ok." Her toothy grin lit him up as he watched her hop away. She was happy and that made him happier than he could've imagined. _

"_She's… breathtaking." Beth tried to pull his attention as he remained fixed on his daughter._

"_She is, isn't she?"_

"_You could've introduced us you know. I don't bite."_

"_I told you Beth." She got his attention. "We're not there yet."_

"_Fine." She put her hands up in surrender. "I guess I have to accept that." She didn't really have a choice. "She's pretty gorgeous."_

"_Yeah." He said wistfully looking at the mother and daughter. Beth was unnerved. She was talking about the child, but he seemed to be talking about the mother. She didn't like it one bit and, she realized, he was the only one who didn't see what he was doing. She wanted it to stay that way. _

"_Do you mind if I stay? I mean, I'm here now…"_

"_I… guess it wouldn't hurt. You are here. Just, don't introduce yourself to my kids. I don't want them getting confused and they have enough going on as it is."_

"_Scout's honor." She promised, fingers crossed behind her back. "I love seeing you like this." She flirted._

"_Like what?"_

_She moved closer wrapping her arms around him and making sure she did it in a way that Emily saw. "So protective and fatherly… so manly. It's sexy."_

"_Yeah?" He smiled, taken by her words. _

"_Yeah, almost makes up for missing our getaway."_

"_I already apologized for that Beth." He sighed and pushed her away, never really full embracing the hug anyway._

"_I know." Her eyes rolled. Apologizing didn't help that he ruined the weekend she planned for a kid he could see anytime… _

"_Look, I have to get back. If you're going to hang around, that's fine, but we need to talk about this later." Uh oh, a fight, she thought. The plan was never to be found out. She just wanted to see her… Just wanted to feel things out and know if she was being crazy or not… She wasn't… "Later ok?"_

"_Sure Aaron. Call me later."_

_Leaving Beth, he returned to his bench as the players started to return. "Sorry Emily. You didn't have to wait."_

"_I did." She laughed. "Charlie didn't want to leave Jack alone."_

"_Cute."_

"_They are. They're going to be trouble the more time they spend together and the more they learn what being siblings mean."_

"_We're in for a world huh?"_

"_We sure are." She agreed. "So… that was?"_

"_We'll talk about it after the game?" He asked her hesitantly. He heard her when she said she didn't want Charlie to meet any women he may be involved with_

"_Uh… ok?" What if she wanted to talk about it now? "I'm taking Charlie for a bit…" Emily said, "I promised her some chocolate." Maybe his brother was right and that was the key to her heart… huh…_

"_Just not too much alright?" She looked at him curiously prompting him to explain. "I just… We have plans. They involve food."_

_Aww… "Don't worry. I told her one and that's all. She, unfortunately, has my sweet tooth."_

"_Ok, so we'll meet up after the game?"_

"_Yup, you'll know where to find me."_

_With that, Emily joined Clyde and Charlie at the concession stand before getting back to their seats. When they got back, the whistle was just about to blow and start the half. Attention on Jack, they didn't notice when the woman from earlier approached. _

"_Hi, you're Emily right?"_

"_Uh… Yeah…" She responded uncomfortably, unconsciously shielding Charlie and pushing her in Clyde's direction. "You are?"_

"_Oh… sorry. I'm Beth." Her smile was sickeningly sweet as she extended a hand. "Aaron's girlfriend." That part she wanted to be clear. "It's great to finally put a face to the name."_

"_Likewise…" She guessed, though a pang in her heart reminded her what a liar she was. _

"_I heard all about you." Beth lied. "And that little cutie. You must be Charlie." Inserting herself, she introduced herself to the child. Emily wasn't sure how the situation happened; how she seemed to lose all control or when Hotch thought it would be ok to do the one thing, the ONE thing, she asked him not to… but there they were. Her and her daughter meeting his girlfriend. Her stomach just dropped… "It was so nice meeting you. I'm sorry I can't stay longer, but I have some things to finish up for work tomorrow. Bye Charlie. Hope to see you soon." Beth said before making a hasty exit. She didn't want to give Emily much time to respond to anything she said. _

_Seeing the tension radiating and the thoughts racing, Clyde put his hand on Emily's balled fist and whispered, "Take a breath Love. It'll be alright."_

_Alright? Alright?! What the hell was alright anyway?!_

"She just walked up to you and introduced herself as his girlfriend?!" JJ asked.

"Yup…"

"I wonder how he felt about that."

A scowl on her ivory face, she said, "I know how I feel about it."

"Em…" There was a vulnerability JJ could see that, no matter how hard she tried to conceal, she just couldn't. "Hey, talk to me. What happened?"

She didn't know where to start… "You know… I… I told him I liked him." She said meekly… a side to Emily JJ could honestly say she had never seen before.

"What?" That was huge… Anvil huge.

"Please don't make me say it again…"

"What happened?" She smiled. "Was it romantic? Did he kiss you? I bet he did." She was fangirling. The bubble would be burst though.

"Not yesterday… And there was no… It was…"

Never seeing her quite like that except for the few times she broke down, also over Hotch… or Charlie but that was a given. "What did he do Em?" She didn't respond. "Don't tell me he said he didn't…" Of course he did. He was in as much denial as Emily was… or used to be… "He's just lying to himself Emily. Tell me what happened. When? Something?"

"It was at Rossi's." She admitted.

"Rossi's?! And you haven't said anything?"

"Well, JJ," the repressed emotion was bubbling in her. "A bomb was kind of dropped and I had to sort through the carnage before I could even begin to deal with anything else." And now, it was really hitting her. He had a girlfriend, one she wasn't sure he was serious about… Now she was.

Oh ouch… that one stung a little. She guessed she deserved it though. "I'm sorry. You're right. That was more important… But…"

"But what?"

"But now you need to let me be here for you… A girl who is your friend and who can understand…"

"I don't know what there is to say."

"Anything… everything…"

"I just don't know where to start."

"Tell me what happened when you told him." And she did… She relived that embarrassing, heartbreaking moment as she shared with her best friend.

Hotch was reliving a memory of his own.

"_Hey Em, where's Charlie?" He asked as his colleague approached. She looked upset. _

_And boy, was she. "What the hell Hotch? Seriously, what the hell?"_

"_What's the matter? Did something happen?"_

"_Did something happen?! I thought we talked about when and how to handle introductions to girlfriends. Springing her on us at a soccer game your first weekend with her… That isn't the way to do it."_

"_What are you talking about?"_

"_Beth? You brought Beth here. And you didn't even give any warning. What the hell?"_

"_Emily I can explain."_

"_Explain what?"_

"_I didn't invite her. I mentioned the game and she came."_

"_Whatever Hotch. Look, I'm not ok with this. If you wanted her here, fine, but I deserve some warning… Our daughter needs some warning. She's just getting used to the idea of you in her life. Daddy's girlfriend's not a concept I want to get into with her just yet."_

"_Please don't be upset. I didn't want this and I didn't want to hurt you."_

"_I'm not hurt." She responded quickly. "I just thought we had an agreement and I'd like to think I can trust you enough to take your word."_

"_You can."_

"_Look, I'm not going to ruin your day with Charlie, so go have fun…" But it wasn't over. It so wasn't over for either of them. _

"_Em…" He tried to grab her arm before she could walk away. "Please."_

"_It's fine. I'm going to say bye to the kids and then I'm leaving."_

"_Emily…"_

"_You ok Darling?" Clyde appeared out of nowhere._

"_Everything's fine. I just want to see Charlie and then we can go."_

"_Wonderful. Shall we?"_

"_We shall." Clyde wrapped an arm around the brunette's shoulders, Hotch watching them go. He was unable to get in a word once the blonde man appeared and he wouldn't get one then either. He could just watch uncomfortably as Clyde's hands touched Emily… innocent as it was, all he could think was, "Damn Clyde."_

Rossi was having a nice laugh in his head. These kids just didn't see the world as he did. They were excellent profilers, but so lost when it came to anything romantic. And, no, he wasn't one to talk, a mess in that department too, but not for the same reasons. They were blind to it, to what was in front of them. He, on the other hand, found it too often and usually with the wrong women. "So, not only did your girlfriend show up, which if I know my Bella, didn't make her happy, but her pseudo sexual ex-partner was there to make you jealous."

"I wasn't…" He was quickly going to refute the claim, but Rossi's words suddenly struck him. "Pseudo sexual? You think they want to…" He didn't need to finish the thought.

"Oh, I know they have. Just look at them. Do they want to again?" He didn't think so… He thought she had a different guy in mind. "I don't know."

Well, now he was unsettled… He already had his fears that he would lose Charlie to Clyde before he ever really had her… And now those same fears were edging toward the surface about Emily… Not good… "It doesn't matter." He lied. "She can be with whoever she wants."

"Keep telling yourself that Aaron."

"She deserves someone who treats her well. And I don't like him, but if she does… I guess I have to be ok with him. At least I know he'll treat my daughter right."

Noting the solemnness of his friend's words, Rossi chose not to push it any further and instead go back to the topic at hand. "It suits you, you know."

"What's that?" Jealousy? Jealousy he wasn't feeling… Who was he trying to convince with a silent conversation between him and that voice he called himself.

"Having a daughter." Having Emily's daughter… He wished to add. He also wished to add a whole lot of other things. Again, he knew when and where and it was not then…

"It's one of the best things in the world. Already so much different than having a son."

"She's a lot like her mother that one."

"Are you trying to tell me that's going to make it harder?"

"You said it, not me."

"Don't worry Dave, I won't tell her you think she's stubborn."

"Don't forget that you are too…" Dave thought, instead saying, "Thanks. Now, let's discuss this daughter of yours." And maybe her mother too…

One of his favorite topics! With a super smile and a levity, he gushed about his little girl and all there was to her; everything he was learning about her with every moment they spent together. And Dave was happy to listen to it all. It would also work in his favor if he primed the boss before asking more about his relationship with Emily and what all of it meant. He wasn't sure Aaron really even knew that though. Time would tell; maybe it was a question for a different day.

For Emily though, that day might be too late. His revelation would come, but it might be after she resigned herself to them being just… them. Separate… Together parents, everything else separate. Talking through it with JJ was the first step to that. She spared few details as she divulged.

"Wow." JJ responded.

"I know…"

"Wow…"

"You said that."

"It's just… I didn't expect that."

"Clearly, I didn't either." Or she wouldn't have said anything at all. She never misread signals so badly before. Ugh…

"Oh, I'm sorry Em. He's an idiot. He's really an idiot.

"No, for the most part, he's a great guy." She defended him. "He just… wants to be a great guy for someone else."

"No! I refuse to believe that. And even if it were true, you deserve better anyway."

"Thanks." But she was questioning it. It was starting to feel more and more like she was destined to be a spinster.

"I can't believe it." His denial, or utter blindness, was worse than she thought. The reaction, though unexpected, she guessed wasn't completely out of line. He was, generally, a decent guy and he was involved, though she chose to use that word lightly; "involved." It didn't seem serious to her. What he could have with Emily, what she knew they both wanted and now at least one was willing to admit, that would be real and serious.

"It is what it is Jayje. I accept it. I'm happy for him. I just want him to be happy and for my kid to be happy. That's all."

Instead of asking what about her happiness, seeing her friend shutting down, JJ simply said, "You're a bigger person than I am Em. You'll find someone. I know you will." Emily, though, wasn't so sure about that. She put herself out there and got burned. That was all she really knew. And she wasn't really in the mental headspace to do it again… not any time soon. "It'll be ok…"

Would it?

Hotch was kind of asking himself the same thing. He knew they needed to have another talk. She just needed to let him explain he didn't invite her. She just showed up. That wasn't on him. He did what he could to keep that part of his life private, but he wasn't ashamed of her. He wasn't going to hide it, especially not from someone he was seeing. He couldn't do that. And she couldn't ask that of him. But still, they had a lot to talk about; the one thing they weren't all that good at. So, even with all the talk of Charlie and telling Rossi just how awesome she was, that thought lingered in his mind. Would things still be ok or become ok once they talked?

"You still with me?" Rossi asked.

"What? Yeah, right here."

"Finish telling me about your day with the little princess."

"Oh, we had… a great time. We needed a great time."

"_We've got plans mommy; big, super fun plans." Charlie said to her mother._

"_And I'm not invited?" She asked playfully._

"_You can come if you want." She invited her, not bothering to see if her dad was ok with that. Why wouldn't he be?_

"_No, no thanks. Sounds like a good time, but I think I'll have to pass this time."_

"_Ok. It's going to be fun though. You're missing out."_

"_I bet." She laughed, her daughter just too cute. "Come give me kisses so you can go have fun."_

_Charlie jumped into her mother's waiting arms, immediately peppering her face with kisses. "Love you mommy!" _

"_Love you too, so much. Go have fun alright? I'll see you when you get home."_

"_Bye. Bye Clyde." She gave him a hug for good measure. _

"_Have fun Charlotte." He told her. And she planned to. _

_Walking over to her father, she put her hand in his, looking up to meet his eyes, she said, "Ready."_

"_Me too. Let's move." _

_With Jack already picked up, it was just the two of them. Hey got on their bikes, Charlie excited to break hers in, and started on the trail. He picked out an easy trail, one for beginners with lots of scenery. She wasn't in training, he told himself, they were just having fun. "Faster! Let' go faster!" She yelled as she saw the approaching hill. He was too nervous for that. What if she fell or a car came. It was the one part of their ride on the road… He was becoming that nervous parent again, but, from the stories he heard, it was warranted with this little dare devil. _

"_Whooaa!" Her voice all jubilee as they went down the hill. He joined in, also throwing his hands in the air and steering without them to try and impress her. He didn't even care if he made a fool of himself. But her watching him caused her to lose focus and practically slam right into a fence, wobbling and nearly going down. She didn't though. She was ok. "That was so cool!"_

"_It was."_

"_Let's do it again." _

_He looked to his watch and felt his heart beating rapidly. They were both running short on time and in danger of him having a heart attack. When she nearly crashed, he panicked and his heart just stopped. Now, it wouldn't stop going. Yeah… They couldn't do it again… "Maybe next time alright? _

"_Aww, please?"_

"_We can't today, but I have a picnic for us. There's a basket in the car and a blanket for us to set up. Aren't you hungry?"_

_Rubbing her tummy, she nodded. "Mmhmm."_

"_Food time?"_

"_Is there dessert?"_

"_Of course."_

"_Yay!"_

_A few minutes later they were back where they started and grabbing their things from the car. Hotch let her have final say, but he picked out a spot by the fountain for them that she too happened to love. They set up and unpacked. Charlie was extra excited about the piece of chocolate cake he brought just for her. Score! Still though, he felt a distance between them though. There were moments, but she was holding back, keeping him at length much like her mother. _

"_Want to throw a coin in the fountain and make a wish?"_

"_Can we? Please!"_

"_Here." He handed her a coin and left one for him. "Close your eyes, think hard, make a wish, and throw it in."_

"_Got it." She said, her eyes tightly closed, deep in thought, and then she tossed it in. _

_He followed suit, desperately hoping his wish would be fulfilled. "What'd you wish?" He asked._

"_I can't tell you silly. Then it won't come true." _

"_Of course." He better not share his either then. A comfortable silence took over as she swirled the water with her hand. "Can I ask you something Charlie?" He blurted out, throwing caution out the window. He needed to understand what was going through her head in order to make it better. _

"_Ok."_

_He was reluctant to ask since it seemed they made some progress, but he couldn't be afraid of her any more. He was the parent. She was the child. "Why are you so upset I'm your dad? I thought you liked me. And you asked me all about your dad…" He stopped himself there. Furthering that argument left him open for counter attack and he didn't want to open that can of worms. _

"_I do like you." Charlie stated as she looked down at the fountain rather than at him. _

"_You do?"_

_Nodding she said, "Uh huh. But you lied to me."_

"_I didn't mean to."_

"_Yes huh. You didn't tell me on purpose. That's a lie. Mommy says it's a lie of… of a mission, but still a lie." Damn it Emily for being a good mom and teaching their kid right…_

"_You're right." That got her to look to him, "It's a lie, but I didn't want to lie."_

"_Then why did you?"_

"_I… It's complicated." She sighed… Isn't that what grownups always said?_

"_Did I do something bad?" She finally looked to her father with her eyes glistened with unshed tears actually holding his gaze. _

"_What do you mean Charlie?" He moved to wipe a tear from her cheek._

"_Did I do something bad to make you not want me?"_

"_I do want you Charlie. I love you and I want you. Nothing could ever change that. What makes you think I don't?"_

"_You live with Jack…"_

"_I used to. Now he lives with his mommy and I see him as much as I can."_

"_I never lived with you." She stated. _

"_No, you never lived with me." The turning in his stomach provided no ease. _

"_Did you not want me to live with you ever?" His heart was being pulverized by her face._

"_Oh Charlie, if I could be with you every second of every day, I would."_

"_I never had a daddy. All my friends have daddies, but not me. I liked to pretend Clyde was my dad. He'd make a good one and he loved me so much. But he wasn't my daddy…" She looked to him, her big eyes so hard, yet so easy to read. "You are."_

"_I am… And I couldn't be happier about that."_

"_But you never said you were and neither did mommy. Was that because you didn't always want to be my dad?"_

"_Never." He moved closer. "The moment I learned about you and forever on, I've loved you. And I wanted you. You are my daughter Charlie. Your mom and I have a lot to figure out, but I love you. I love being your dad," he lovingly rested his hand on her cheek, thumb brushing away another tear. "Always."_

"_But… but…"_

"_No buts. I love you. I. Love. You." He emphasized. "No matter what, I am your dad and I want to be your dad." He told her. _

"_Do you mean it?"_

"_More than anything Charlie."_

"_Ok."_

"_Ok?" That was it?_

"_I think… I think… I miss mommy. Is it time to go?"_

_He sighed. There was progress, but none at the same time. "Yeah, it is."_

"She's quite the kid."

"I know."

"Seems you broke through to her a little; made some headway."

"Yeah, we talk every night just like I do with Jack."

"Now you just have to make some headway with her mother."

"What do you mean?"

"What do you think I mean Aaron? Think about it…"

He wasn't sure he wanted to start. If he did, he'd see all the things he was ignoring and never be able to pretend they weren't there; much like Emily. And Emily wanted to be done thinking about it… about him. Neither had it easy.

Standing, JJ said, "Come on Em. We need to get back to the office before they send out a search party."

"JJ?" Emily grabbed her hand nudging the blonde to sit down again for just a minute. She had no problems complying.

"Yeah Em?"

"How do I get over it?"

"Over what?"

"Over my feelings for him… Being with him… I felt complete. For the first time in my life, even as broken as I was, I felt complete if only for the short while. And things have changed. I know I can't fully separate myself from him like I normally would. We have a kid together… But I can't hold onto this hope and want either when it's not what he wants. I'm not even sure what I want."

JJ was sure. She knew it. They both wanted each other. They just weren't good at feelings. But, it was something only they could figure out with each other. And JJ had an idea on how to move that along. "Well, as Garcia would say, 'the best way to get over one guy is to get under another.'" She laughed. "And there's a really cute guy over there checking you out right now if you're interested.

Was she interested?

**Oh geez… What's she going to do? How many want to kill me? I know, you're not alone… But, good news! Beth's true color are showing. I'm thinking next chapter will jump ahead a little to get the ball really rolling if you know what I mean ;) I'm pretty sure no one does but me, and I'm totally ok with that. I have these plot bunnies in my head since I stated this story. There were things I wanted to happen and still do and are taking forever to get to, so I need to move it along. We'll see what comes of it. **

**Hope you guys are still out there and reading this. I know I'm not the best updater but you guys are all pretty great about it. **

**Anyways, hope you enjoyed the update. And, until net time… Next time where I promise something good will happen and I might reveal a bit about Clyde's proposal… We shall see, mis amigos. **

**And now I'm off to study for 3 tests, write a paper, do four homework assignments, and then, hopefully after finishing at least one of those, shoveling snow. Yay me! I think I'll need a coffee drip… Espresso IV anyone?**

**SouthunLady**** All answers in due time my friend. Patience is a virtue… lol Seriously thank you. I can't say no to my nieces and nephews. That's where that came from. I especially can't say no to my little mini me. It's hard. Glad you liked the update. The house issue may be addressed soon. And Clyde's "thing" will be too… In time… You know how I roll…**

**inheritancedrottningu**** Ah yes, exams. Glad I was able to offer a break from those. This new chapter was my interlude for them. Enjoy it. **

**sourgummycandy**** The proposition will come out in time. Possibly next chapter. There'll definitely be impact. And I'm working on the rest of it. I need to fit in some couple goodness… We'll get there. **

**123a456e**** Than you! And I think this chapter answers your Rossi question… Hope you like it. **

**bellairmenna ****Thank you so, so much! Fanfiction is an amazing world because anything you want can happen and there are some pretty great stories out there. Sorry the update didn't come quickly like hoped, but enjoy it anyway if you're still reading. **

**blakstarsing**** I love Hotch as protective dad too. It's sweet and potentially annoying when the kids get older.**

**rmpcmfan**** Don't feel bad, sometimes I forget they don't know too… and I'm the writer. That could be a problem. Lol Enjoy the update. **

**Lktwh13**** I have returned once more! All hail. Just kidding. But you're right, there are a lot of plot points being juggled. I'm happy to hear you feel I'm handling it well though. Thanks for reading and enjoy. **

**greengirl82**** Not a fan of Beth either, but she's a plot point; a means to an end. **

**emilyhotchner-and-olicityfan**** Got to love the bonding moments. Those are some of my favorites. And yes, there's a general consensus that Beth sucks. She won't be around forever… **

**Kimmy123**** They really could use the frying pan treatment to have some sense knocked into them. But, then, since I'm the creator of their thoughts in this story, I'd be hit twice by the pan and… ow… I need all the brain cells I can get. Beth does tend to rub people wrong.**

**Rugbygirrl**** Beth tends to give off that vibe. Kind of creepy. Here's another long one for you where things with Rossi and a little more about the weekend are revealed. Enjoy. **

**SKYE51399 **** History cass huh? Lots of reading. At leas this abundance of words is more fun right? Less grueling. **

**CMObsessed ****It's here. It's here. It's here. Enjoy.**

**Guest**** I will do my best. Thank you.**


	35. Father Dad Daddy

_I do not own Criminal Minds, only the characters I have created in that world._

**Quicker update and super long to boot! I think I expect a lot of love and hate for this chapter and you'll see why once you finish it. There's a whole lot going on in this chapter as it spans over a couple months, but that was necessary to get the story to where I want it to go. I could sit and write every little detail of everyday and not get tired of it, but you all might and that could get a little boring I'm sure. Anyway, I have no reason to apologize this time! Yay me for finally being semi timely. But, don't expect another one for a while. Midterms, papers, and other story updates take precedence for a bit. I'll work on it though, so try not to hate me just yet. **

**Now onto the story… Quite a ride in store I assure you. Oh, and keep in mind this is unedited and may be a bit choppy at times. It was either update and edit after midterms or edit/update after midterms. And since I figured you all wouldn't want to wait a few more weeks, I went with the former. There will be a few changes, nothing major to impact the story, just some stuff I know I left out, so when I edit, I will delete and reupload the chapter rather than just replace it so that if you'd like to re-read it with the changes you can. **

**Now, without any more interruption on my part, I give you the story…**

Chapter 35: Father. Dad. Daddy.

Time from that point on seemed to just fly by and things had definitely changed… for the better mostly.

Turned out, Emily was interested, or, she tried to be. Her girls, meaning JJ and Garcia, encouraged her to get out there, hell, even the men in her life told her to go for it. And she listened. Maybe JJ was right and the only way to get over Hotch was to move on. He was happy. Why couldn't she be?

"_Oh Gum Drop, he's a looker. If you don't want him, I do." Garcia told her. _

"_I don't know… I guess, I don't know if I'm ready."_

"_Not ready?" JJ asked. "When was the last time you went on a real date?" Angry sex with their unit chief wasn't considered a date either. Oh yeah, she didn't forget about that event not spoken about. _

"_I went on a date…" Oh god, had it really been that long? So long she couldn't really remember… _

"_If you can't remember, we need to get you out there."_

"_No I… I went out… before everything with Doyle happened…" Right? She did didn't she?_

"_Let's face it, you need to get laid and since you refuse to ride that metro of a Brit that adores you, you need to find someone that can get your engine revving."_

"_Garcia?!"_

"_What?!" She didn't say anything wrong. Why were they looking at her like that? "Don't act like you aren't thinking the same thing." She said to the blonde. "You know she needs to get that lamp rubbed and let tha genie out to play…"_

_Shaking her head, JJ said, "Ok Em, so I wouldn't have said it… quite like that, but she's not wrong."_

"_See Gum Drop."_

"_What do you mean she's not wrong? I don't need a man or my… lamp rubbed." Were they really having that conversation in a government building? Could they be anymore politic? Nothing screamed hat like a little sex talk and maybe some scandal. Maybe they could get Hotch to deny her, "I did not have sexual relations with that woman." They'd get him to say. It'd be a regular old political party in there. Morgan, she thought, better not walk into the office because she'd never live it down. His teasing would be relentless. _

"_No you don't need one, but wouldn't it be nice to have one?"_

"_And not have to take matters into your own hands." Garcia added. Leave it to her…_

"_Penelope that's…" Not something she wanted to discuss. Matters of the body and relationships were things she was taught to keep private growing up. If you were having sex, it didn't matter if people knew and were gossiping about it, which they did frequently in that circle, it just wasn't something you willingly discussed. Maybe that was why her friends now were so perfect; so different from what she grew up with, so open and warm and they brought out a side of her that never really got a chance to be before them. "I'm not… doing that." _

"_Then you're just not having any fun at all? There's something wrong with you." That wasn't inaccurate. She was sure there was a boatload of things wrong with her. _

"_And, you know if there was another guy that's keeping you from jumping right into bed with this magnificent hunk a hunk a burning love… Maybe your Vanilla Adonis as you called him…" Baby daddy, boss man extraordinaire… "Then that's ok…. Just don't wait forever." To tell him… or the rest of the team about him…_

"_Vanilla Adonis?" She was confused. Who was that? "I don't think those words ever came out of my mouth."_

"_Oh they did." JJ informed her with that devious little grin of hers._

"_I don't remember that. Was I dying at the time? Hopped up on morphine? What the hell was I even talking about?"_

"_You were… not yourself." JJ explained. _

"_Umm… You know? Who, what, when, where; none of that's important." That thing with the thing and the pills… no one needed to be reminded of that. Garcia was not looking to get into trouble with the super spy. "What is important is honesty." JJ scoffed. Oh Garcia… "And knowing what… or who… you really want." She didn't know that, not for sure. "And once you figure that out, you just got to go out there, grab him by the balls, and make him call you mama."_

_What?! Oh Garcia…_

Needless to say, the Garcia-ness of it all did the trick like it tended to do. Emily agreed she'd call the guy and set up a date. JJ was proud of her friend for taking the step and was sure to "accidentally" mention it in front of Hotch. She was hoping it would set something off in him… Who knew if it actually worked? If it didn't, she didn't really see it, not more than the initial reaction anyway. Then again, she wasn't sure what happened outside those BAU doors between the two most guarded people she had ever met.

"_So, did you do it?"_

"_Do what?"_

"_Call Chris?" JJ reiterated._

"_Yes." She said nonchalantly. It was nothing… Just a date. No big deal…_

"_Oh." She clapped, taking a page from Garcia's playbook. Seeing their boss' curious stare, she amped it up for good measure, "Emily's got a date." She sung. "Emily's got a date."_

"_Gum Drop finally did the deed!" The other blonde yelled as she approached. A crimson colored Emily's face. That was so going to be taken out of context. "When did it happen? Where is he taking you? Oh, I'm just so excited!" She looked at her two friends as she sat on Emily's desk. "Why is it we're more excited looking than you? Shouldn't you be the one jumping for joy here? Maybe praying to the blemish gods that your face remains perfectly clear and absolutely gorgeous?" JJ just watched the scene. Garcia did the dirty work for her. And, if her profiling skills were as good as she though they were, she swore she saw a smirk on Rossi's face as he saw Hotch. And Hotch, well, he was… less than happy. _

_Phase one commence… _

"_Ok. Now that you've officially said yes, I did some digging…"_

"_Oh Garcia… Tell me you didn't."_

"_Oh, but I did mone mi. And he's amazing. So damn handsome… Just think of the siblings you could give Little E. They'd be equally as magnificent."_

"_JJ, make it stop. She's already making me barefoot and pregnant and I don't even know the guy." Emily playfully pleaded. _

"_Cupcake! No whining. It's like what I tell JJ about Henry. The world would be a better place with more mini yous in it. Think of all the beauty."_

"_And, sweet as that is, it's not happening."_

"_Fine." She huffed, "I'm retreating to my lair. Find me when you see reason and wish to give me a litter of little godchildren to bespeckle with my awesomeness."_

"_She's something else."_

"_Tell me about it."_

Emily was unaware, but Hotch did see the display clearly. He knew he shouldn't have been, but he was upset by it. He knew the threat that came with Clyde. They had their history and Emily came to rely on the Brit in ways that maybe should've been reserved for him. But a new guy… Who knew what came with that? Would they be happy? Maybe… Would Charlie like him? He hoped not at the same time hoping she did… Could they fall in love and get married and have children together? God he really hoped not, the thought sickening him, making his head spin. Jealousy, he heard Dave's voice in his head. He was feeling jealousy and he shouldn't have been… He had a girlfriend. She had the right to find the same… Didn't mean he had to like it.

If it did, well, it wasn't happening so it didn't matter either way. But god, he couldn't help but wonder. Was that how she felt too? So uncertain? In ways she did, but it wasn't something she was willing to show or he could really know…

He needed to get his head on straight and that started with Beth. Since the soccer game incident, things were strained for a bit. What she was thinking showing up was just beyond him. He thought he made it clear she wasn't to be there when they talked. Guess he thought wrong.

"_Aaron, you actually called." She sounded surprised that he was a man of his word. _

"_I said I would." _

"_I just thought… You're not mad at me are you? I know I shouldn't have gone, but… I just wanted to see you…"_

"_Look Beth, I understand that, but this is still new. My kids aren't ready to meet you and I'm not ready for you to meet them. I… I like you Beth. I would like to get to know you more and spend time with you, but that can't happen if you can't respect my wishes." He told her as clear and politely as he could while getting his point across. He didn't want to give up on her yet, but he wouldn't stand for any games. _

"_I'm so sorry Aaron. I really didn't mean anything by it…. You just. You didn't say I couldn't come, not really… And I just… I'm sorry. There are no excuses."_

"_There really aren't Beth. I don't know what you were thinking introducing yourself to Emily either. Why?"_

"_I just..." Honesty, she told herself. That was what he'd respond best too. "I guess I was jealous. I know that's a terrible excuse, but I was."_

"_Why? Jealous of what?" It was his turned to be surprised. _

"_We've been together a few months now. We've gotten close…"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_And in that time… it's just there's another side to you… this beautiful, loving, dad that I don't get to see. There are little glimpses every time you mention them and I guess… I just needed to see it in person." She sighed. "You're so different around them or when you talk about them. And I… I love that side of you. I guess I just wanted to be a part of it in some way. But I truly am sorry."_

_He didn't know what to make of it. When he saw Emily's hurt face after she met Beth… It hurt him too and he felt like he betrayed her somehow, in ways that went beyond just a minor violation of faith and trust. It was like, like he was breaking her. And it was breaking him. But he didn't know what he wanted either. Being with Beth was nice, but it too was proving to be more complicated than he had hoped. "I can't understand why you thought showing up and budding in was a good idea though."_

"_I don't know… Please, just give me a chance to make it up to you." She pleaded. "I care about you Aaron. I might… I might even love you… But I… we'll never know if you give up on us because of one stupid mistake. I'm sorry… Don't hold this against me. We could be great together."_

"_This wasn't the way to prove that. You caused issues with Emily. Our daughter was… We agreed Beth. There are real reasons why I didn't want you meeting my kids yet." He explained, his hand rubbing his temples. He was exhausted. The conversation was exhausting. _

"_I just wanted… I can picture us together. I can picture us giving Charlie and Jack siblings… I just wanted to see what it was like. And it would be amazing… Can't you picture it too?"_

_Could he? He didn't have an answer. He tried to imagine what it'd be like. More kids… her pregnant, swollen with their love… But he couldn't really see it. Besides seeing the past with Haley, her pregnant with Jack, he could only ever imagine one other person having his child. He had moments where he saw her, radiant and beautiful, glowing with the light of new life. But it wasn't Beth he saw._

_It was only Emily… He saw little Charlie rubbing her mother's stomach, speaking to the child within. He saw Jack doing the same… The team gathered as they awaited the birth… _

_He couldn't think like that. _

_It's never happen… And make he'd think like that about Beth… in time… _

"_Beth, I'm getting a call from work. We'll have to discuss this more later."_

"_Do you forgive me Aaron?"_

"_Yes." He guessed… for now… Well, at the very least, he bought himself more time…_

After that, he did a lot of thinking about chances and right and wrong and all of that… That was weeks ago though, and he did give her a chance, just never finished that conversation. He didn't know he wanted to either. Plausible deniability and such… Truth was, Hotch had a lot on his mind. It had been nearly seven months since he found out about his daughter and things were finally starting to feel better; like they were going somewhere. So much had changed both with that and with everything else. And he was about to learn just how drastic that change was.

It was coming. He just had to wait for it.

And Emily would see it too. Her life was changed just as his was. She had a partner in the duty that was childrearing, but with that new shared responsibility came the added job of mediator. She had to be the go between, the peacekeeper, and the gateway between their daughter and him. It got exhausting at times. As did fighting her feelings.

Hotch was, unintentionally she believed, doing just what she asked him not to… But that was a separate problem. Since one problem seemed temporarily averted for him though… Time to move on to the next. First up was training. His race was only a few weeks away and he wanted to make both his children and himself proud.

Emily, meanwhile, had some relationship stuff of her own to work through. It was nice at first. Having dinner with someone who didn't need to be reminded to chew with their mouth closed or not to wipe their mouths on their sleeve was a pleasant change. Chris was handsome and sweet and giving; a doctor no less. He cared about her. He pampered her; bought her flowers on every date, offered his jacket when she was cold, even do something special with Charlie if it made her more comfortable. There was nothing about him not to like. But was that enough? He was enough, no doubt. How could he not be? But was it enough for her? She didn't see how it couldn't be… But she didn't quite know what she was feeling, just that there was this persistent nagging feeling in her gut.

As perfect as it was, something just wasn't right. And she could ignore it for the first few weeks. Things were going well… until their relationship moved to the next level. Emily was no prude, but she tended to make a guy wait a respectable amount of time. She did with Chris at least. But that was when things started to go south…

He was great. He really was… They just didn't have it. That spark was missing.

It was what she wanted, just not who she wanted. And it was ripping her apart. Because every time he kissed her, when his hands touched her, she wished more than anything it would give her the feelings she craved. But all it did was make her yearn for Aaron more. His face was who she saw. His name was the one she wanted to call. It couldn't happen though…

When would she get her happy ending?

The problem was, Emily and Hotch seemed to fall into that comfortable rhythm again. It felt like… like old times where things were simpler and good, which only made things worse for her. Normally, that'd be a good thing, but she asked for some space and now they were spending time together in ways that were civil and friendly, family like… That was just confusing for her already overworked mind.

But she did nothing to discourage it, and he paid little mind to the possible repercussions of it. It was her fault, really, that old patterns were reemerging. He was coming over more, conveniently dropping by just in the nick of time to join the two of them for dinners. She didn't mind. It was nice to watch the progression of her daughter's relationship with him. They were getting closer and more comfortable. She no longer fought them when it came time for weekends at Aaron's.

And now, the little girl was about to astound her once more.

The school year was rapidly coming to an end. It was June already and only a few weeks remained. Those were usually the easy weeks filled with fun lessons and end of the year parties for the children. It also meant Fathers' Day.

See, mother's day was nice and easy. They made cards and art projects to bring home like they did every year. And Charlie did something special. This year marked a bit of a change. Though she got the customary greeting and love from Clyde, he relegated the responsibility of celebrating the day to Hotch. He considered it a test of the other man's ability. If he was worthy of the Prentiss women, he'd come up with something special.

And he did. Hotch made it work with both mothers of his children. He knew that Haley had a tradition on Mother's Day. She and Jack would go with her sister to visit their mom. But first, Jack and Hotch would give her flowers and breakfast in bed. That year, divorced or not, would be no different. Knowing their day would start early, Hotch got to Haley's just in time to wake Jack and help him prepare breakfast before she woke up. And she was surprised, happily so, to get such treatment. Jack presented her with his card and a teddy bear he picked out for her when he was over the last weekend.

"This is for you too Haley." He told her as he passed her an envelope.

"Oh Aaron, you didn't have to."

"I always got you a card. Together or not, you're still his mother. That love will always be there."

"Yes, it will. Thank you." She tapped the card against her palm "This means a lot to me."

"I know. And everything you've done for me and our son means a lot to me. I don't take your kindness and forgiveness lightly. You didn't have to be as accepting of everything as you have been." He said sincerely. "A card and breakfast barely seems like enough."

"It is though." She gave him a hug. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. And have a good day with your family. I'm just going to say goodbye to Jack and then head out. Give your sister and mother my regards."

"Really?" She laughed.

"Or don't. She never really did like me. The divorce was probably the last nail in that coffin."

"Yes. But, I'll tell Jessica."

"Great. Happy Mother's Day."

"Thanks again Aaron."

As he went to see Jack, Haley slipped the card from the paper that hugged it. It was a simple card, nothing to elaborate, but the message inside was everything and more. Written below the standard greeting, was his own personal message.

_We've been through a lot together since high school. We've had our ups and downs, but I don't regret any of it, and though our love for each other has changed, the love and respect is still there. Our son was the best thing we ever did together and I owe so much of that and who he has become to you. I wasn't always there and you did it all without me. Thank you for being such a good person and for raising our son so well. Happy Mother's Day. You deserve the best. _

_Love Aaron_

"Thank you too Aaron." She whispered to the empty room. She knew they didn't work anymore. They just haven't been a good fit for a while, but that didn't make him any less of a great guy.

After spending a little time with his son, he headed back to his apartment to be with his daughter. It happened to work out that Charlie was with him that weekend and Emily, though he could tell even without JJ and Rossi hinting that she was upset not to be spending the day with their daughter, was too kind to tell him she didn't want to be away from her daughter that day. Their friends, clearly conspiring behind their backs, made it clear to him Emily was a little devastated.

What she didn't know, was that he had plans; special plans for her. He just wanted her to think he didn't.

Rossi, doing his friendly supportive thing, conspired with JJ to come up with something that would push them together.

"_I know you know about them." He said cryptically, cornering the blonde one afternoon on her way out of the BAU._

"_Jesus Rossi. Don't sneak up on people like that." Her hand rested over her heart, her pulse racing. _

"_Sorry. Can I walk with you?"_

"_Sure." The elevator doors closed behind them. _

"_I know." He said plainly like it explained everything._

"_Know?"_

"_About Charlie… and the two most stubborn people I know."_

"_Emily told you?"_

"_Aaron let it slip." He said nonchalantly and looked to her. "And I know you see it too. So what are we going to do about it?"_

"_About what?"_

"_Don't play the blonde. You know what I'm talking about. What are we going to do to make them see it too?"_

"_I don't know what you're going to do, but I'm going to help my friend get ready for her date."_

"_I heard about that. Good for her, but you know as well as I do it's not what she wants."_

"_I know."_

"_And it's not what he wants either."_

"_I saw." She responded. "But he has a girlfriend and he told her he couldn't be with her. She deserves the chance to try and find someone while he figures out she's what he wants."_

"_I know you've got something going on in that pretty blonde head of yours. What is it?"_

"_I don't know what you mean."_

"_He's buying a house you know?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_Yeah, for him and the kids when they're there… I'm sure he's hoping to fill it with a wife sometime too. Maybe even someone we both know…"_

_JJ sighed. She wasn't sure she wanted to "get into bed" with Rossi so to speak, but two heads were better than one when it came to the rock wall they were up against. "Alright Rossi, I'm listening, Tell me what you have planned."_

They had a plan alright, and it was subtle enough that it just might work. They just had to see how it played out. And Mother's Day was the perfect place for the real starting line. It would prove to them whether Hotch really cared for Emily or not. They truly believed he did, and they'd be proved right.

"_What are your boys doing for you on Mother's Day?" Emily asked JJ as the gang sat around the office. _

"_Will and I took Monday off and we're keeping Henry from school that day so we can go visit my mother."_

"_That sounds nice."_

"_You?"_

"_Uh… Charlie won't be with me." She said dejectedly. "No plans to see my mom."_

"_So, you're going to…" _

_Before JJ could ask her question, Emily quickly interrupted. "Treat it like any other day." It was just another day, and it really wasn't that big a deal, but it was the first day, the first holiday like day where she wouldn't be with her daughter. And that hurt her. Realizing it would be the first of many hurt her more. "Because that's what it is; just another day…" But it really didn't feel that way. "Excuse me for a second guys." Emily quickly vacated her seat and went off to get some air. _

"_What's wrong with her?" Morgan asked._

"_She's been biting her nails all morning." Reid added. "That's not a good sign."_

"_She's… fine." JJ told them. "She just… It's a mom thing. Nothing to worry about."_

_She went to follow Emily when Rossi once again snuck up on her. "He's got her this weekend huh?"_

"_Yeah. It's hard for her."_

"_Think he's smart enough to do something with her?"_

"_I hope so… But…"_

"_But it's Aaron and as smart as he is, he's equally as stubborn and, thus, sometimes oblivious,"_

"_Exactly."_

"_It's hitting her hard huh?"_

"_She's trying not to show it, but it really is." A soft smile on her face, she looks to Rossi and says, "I'm pretty sure she has a breakdown every weekend she's with him and away from her. I try to schedule our Girls' Nights when I know Charlie will be with him."_

"_Very tricky Agent Jareau. Get her drunk and problems forgotten."_

"_Yeah, that would only work if she had more than a glass or two. But she tells me that she can't, just in case Charlie needs her."_

"_She doesn't trust him?"_

"_No… She does. It's not that… I think… she just… She's afraid of losing her, letting her go."_

"_Maybe Aaron needs to show her that's never going to happen."_

"_What are you going to do? Slap him upside the head and beat it into him?"_

"_I've got a better idea."_

"_Why do I not like the sound of that?"_

"_Just you leave it to me. Go take care of our brooding girl. I've got groundwork to lay down."_

"_I'm not even going to question that."_

"_Better that way."_

_They both saw what the other two didn't; what was blatantly being ignored by them. And it was time someone did something about it. So, while JJ checked on Emily, Rossi set a plan in motion. First, he needed Garcia. "Hey Kitten." He greeted as he knocked on the open door to draw her attention. _

"_Hey Rossi. What can I do you for?"_

"_I need your help. Think you can do a thing?"_

"_Anything you need, I'm your gal."_

"_Awesome."_

_Part one, done, now onto Aaron. And there was no way the man was going to refuse. He was going to make it seem like his idea… Oh the power of suggestion. _

Hotch supplied the older man with all the information he needed for Garcia. He had her hack into a restaurant server and set a reservation for three at this upscale place where Emily mentioned going with her mother as a kid for brunch; one of the good memories she had of her childhood. And now the same place would surely build another. When Hotch told him what he normally did with Jack and Haley and how he wanted to do it again, but wasn't sure if it was appropriate to bring Charlie too, he was quick to offer his babysitting services and knew Aaron would have no problem picking up on his subtle cues.

"_That would be perfect. Emily would love that."_

"_I agree." Rossi said. "You should do it."_

"_But, it's cutting it kind of close. I don't think there will be any reservations left."_

"_Leave that to me. I know some people." A certain hacker friend…_

"_And you're sure you're ok with watching Charlie for a little while Sunday morning? It will be pretty early."_

"_Anytime with her is time well spent." He patted the younger man's shoulder. _

"_I think so too." He smiled. "Thanks Dave."_

Everything was set. All JJ had to do was make sure Emily was up and getting ready before she left with her family. Plan in motion. Ready, set, go…

So it wasn't that easy. Nothing ever was, but in the end, it was an idea that came from Hotch. It just took a little nudging. The Saturday before, Aaron took Charlie shopping again. He couldn't exactly ask Emily to pack Charlie her Sunday best without tipping his hand, and, well, he had one last gift in mind for her that required a trip to a very nice store with a special little helper.

"_What do you think? See one you like?" He asked as they wandered the boutique._

"_I don't know." She thought carefully examining all the fabrics. "They're all very pretty."_

"_Do you have a color in mind?"_

"_Mommy likes to wear black a lot. And she looks really pretty in red."_

"_So black or red?"_

"_Uh huh."_

"_Alright. We can start with that." He took her hand and together they searched the store. _

"_Aaron look!" Charlie ran over to a less visible area of the store from the entrance and stopped in front of a dress._

"_Wow." He said. "That's a really nice one." Emily would look… stunning in it._

_As if they had a neon sign saying "almost sold" a saleswoman found her way to them. "Hello there. Can I help you find something today?"_

"_I want this one." Charlie pointed. "Please."_

"_Aren't you cute honey, and good taste too. But this one's a little big for you."_

_Charlie's dimples came out as she smiled big. "It's for mommy. Part of her surprise."_

"_Oh, well then, that dress would make a lovely surprise." Charlie nodded enthusiastically. "What does daddy think?"_

"_He thinks he likes it too." Charlie answered for him._

"_Is this what you want?"_

_Mesmerized by the thought of Emily in that dress, a darker red lace, a-line dress with a black band at the bodice, stopping at the knee… He knew she'd look spectacular. "I think so." His daughter kept nodding. Even if he hated it, it was the one they were getting; good thing he couldn't seem to get the image of her in it out of his head._

"_I'm sure your wife will look wonderful in this."_

"_Oh she's…" Why fight it? "Yes, she will."_

"_Do you know her size or measurements?"_

"_Um… yeah actually… I think." Was that weird? Weird that he remembered her sizes from a few dalliances and chance encounters with tags, but could never remember Haley's? It was a simple thing, but also very telling…_

"_Wonderful. I believe we have that in the back. Let me go grab it for you."_

"_Thank you." Aaron said, and following suit as the polite kid she was, Charlie thanked her as well._

"_Now that mommy's all set, what about you sweetheart?"_

"_Can we look for one like mommy's? I want to be just like her."_

"_I don't know if they have one just like that in your size, but we can look alright?"_

"_Ok. But it has to be close ok? Really, really close."_

"_I promise to do my best." He told her. _

_Just as they started perusing the area, the woman came back, dress in hand. "We had it!" She told him excitedly. "Last one in that size. Must be kismet."_

"_Must be."_

"_Are you finished shopping or would you like me to hold this at the register for you?"_

"_We have one more dress to pick out." He gestured toward Charlie. _

"_Ok." She nodded. "Let me just put this on hold and I'll be back to help you out."_

"_That'd be great, thanks."_

_She returned quickly and asked, "So, what would you like to wear honey?"_

"_I want one just like mommy's. Can you find one for me?"_

"_One just like mommy's huh?" She smiled kindly. "Well, that dress really must've been the right one for you. We just got a new shipment, haven't even put them out yet, but I think I have just what you're looking for. Would you like to try it on?"_

"_Yes please!"_

"_Follow me." She motioned for them to come with her and then set them up in the fitting room. "Now I'll be back in a jiff." _

"_I can't wait to see the dress Aaron." She sat on the bench impatiently, jittering with the anticipation. _

"_Me either." And he really couldn't. She was so excited and he was thrilled He found himself looking forward to the next day and seeing the two of them all dressed up again. _

"_Here we are." The woman presented them with a dress similar to the one they picked out; almost exact save for the white band and bow in place of the black. _

_Charlie gasped dramatically, in such a little fashionista kind of way. "It's amazing."_

"_It is." He agreed. _

"_I grabbed two sizes that should fit her. Why don't you help her try it on?"_

"_Ready Charlie?"_

"_Uh huh. Can't wait."_

"_Are you ok if I help you?"_

"_Yes please."_

"_Alright." He smiled. She did most of the work. He just had to zip up the back in the end. But boy, was he speechless when he saw her. No matter what she wore, she was beautiful, but then, she was even more so. What do you think?" He asked as they stared at her reflection in the 360 mirror. _

"_Wow, I love it."_

"_Me too."_

"_Can I get this one?"_

"_Is this the one you want?"_

"_Definitely."_

"_Then yes."_

"_Mommy and I are going to match and be perfect fabulousity." He really needed to speak to Emily about limiting the girl's Garcia time before she started speaking hacker chic. "Are you going to match us too?"_

"_What do you mean?" He wasn't wearing a dress no matter how much he loved her. _

"_You have to match too."_

"_I don't think they have anything for me."_

"_Actually sir," the woman interrupted, having returned once Charlie came out from behind the curtain. "We have a tie that would go well with this. Your family could all have something cohesive."_

"_Show me." _

"_Yay." Charlie squealed. _

_He settled on a tie. Really, Charlie picked one out and he went with it. It wasn't too… feminine. Simple red with white and black stripes. "Black for mommy and white for me." Charlie explained and he took that logic as creed. Paying, the two left the store completely satisfied. _

"_Are you happy about what we bought?"_

"_So happy. We're…" She became a little quiet, her hand gripping tighter onto his as they walked to the car. "We're going to be like a real family."_

"_Oh sweetheart. We are a real family." And it killed him she didn't think they were. _

"_I know… But like a real, real family."_

"_What makes a real family real?" She just shrugged. _

"_I don't know."_

"_I think we're a real family."_

"_Ok." He wasn't liking the way she answered, but he also knew she was too much like both her parents. They wouldn't get more out of her until she was ready to say more. _

"_Let's head home."_

"_Alright." She said she hopped into the back seat. _

The next morning, Emily woke up to a surprise. The doorbell sounded at seven sharp waking her from her sleep. The plan was to stay in bed until she had to get out of it and just sleep the day away. Apparently, the have to part came a little early. And it was a persistent wakeup call too, the ding dongs coming one right after another. "I'm coming!" She finally yelled. "What the hell?" She snapped. "JJ?"

"Hi Em. Good morning to you too."

"Aren't you supposed to be on your way to your mom's?"

"Yes, but I was asked by a very cute little girl if I could please make a quick stop first." She explained.

"Oh yeah? And why would said little girl want you to do that?"

"Well, someone had to deliver these." She handed Emily two white boxes, neatly bowed with a card slipped under the ribbon.

Accepting it, she asked, "What's this?"

"Guess you're going to have to open it to find out. You'll have to fill me in on everything once I get back. I suggest you open it soon. Happy Mother's Day Em."

"Happy Mother's Day JJ." The blonde was on her way and Emily was left a little baffled. Not too baffled to not open the boxes though. Card first.

_Emily, _

_Charlie thought this would look amazing on you. I had to agree. Wake up. Shower. Put this on. And be ready by 9. We've got a special day planned._

_Happy Mother's Day. _

_We can't wait to see you. _

_C and A_

Well that was… unexpected and weird and pleasant too. Her hands traced over the ribbon, delicately reaching for the end and she pulled. The velvety bow falling to a shapeless pile. Pulling the top off the bigger box, she moved the tissue paper away from what lie beneath. Revealing the fabric, she gently took it in her hands and removed it from the cardboard. It was a lovely dress, she wouldn't deny that. She just didn't know where she'd be wearing it.

But, she'd follow directions. She had a little while to get ready for whatever it was she was getting ready for, so a cup of coffee and a nice bath seemed in order. And she went about it with a smile on her face. Hanging up the dress and matching shoes that came in the other box, she couldn't help but think they had good taste.

Checking her watch after drying her hair, Emily saw she had about 45 minutes to get ready. Before that, though, she wanted to call her mom. They've been talking more lately and even if she did send a card, if she couldn' see her, Elizabeth at least deserved a phone call.

"Bonjour, ceci est ambassadeur Prentiss."

"Bonne Fête des Mères."

"Emily?"

"Hi mother. How's France treating you?"

"It's lovely here and it misses you."

"The country or the woman in the country?"

"I'd say both."

"I miss you too mother."

"This is the first you I get to actually wish you a Happy Mother's Day too. You're a mother Emily. My little girl has a little girl."

"It's crazy isn't it?"

"I believe we've both come a long way and we've both found love in our children."

"Insightful mother."

"Where is my granddaughter anyway?"

"She's… with her father."

"Oh… Oh! You didn't tell me about them being so close just that he was back in your life."

"I'll be sure to fill you in another time."

"I'd like that."

"Actually, they have some sort of surprise for me today. I have no idea where we're going or what we'll be doing, but I was given clothes and a time for when I'll be swept off my feet."

"Sounds lovely dear. Maybe he isn't as much a miscreant as I pictured him to be."

"I feel I should take offense to that."

"You never had the best taste in men Emily. Do you remember Harvey?"

"I choose not to remember him." She laughed. "Let's not go down that road right now. This one's different. He's a good guy and he's trying to be there for her. That's all I can ask for."

"But you want more?"

"What? Mother… No… no I… We don't need to discuss this. I just wanted to call and wish you a Happy Mother's Day so you didn't think I forgot."

"I receieved your card. I was going to call and thank you as well as wish you the same a little later. But I'm glad you beat me to it. I appreciate it. I haven't always been the best mother, I know that…"

Emily didn't want her to finish that. "It's in the past mom. We're getting better; working on it. That's what matters. I love you and Charlie loves you. You have to know that."

"I do Emily. And I love you both so much. Thank you for defying expectations and breaking free the mold we set for you."

"Anytime." She joked. "I have to make this a quick call mother, so I can get ready. But Charlie and I will video chat tonight if it's not too late. If not, then tomorrow."

"I can't wait."

The call lasted just a little longer before she hung up and got to work. She wanted to look nice; be fitting of the dress. Makeup done, hair brushed, she slipped into the dress and looked into the mirror. Perfect fit. She had no doubt it would be. She loved it. And the shoes… The shoes were even better; another addition to her collection and feet happily housed. It was nice of him to think of her.

At nine on the dot, they arrived to pick her up. Dressed up just like her, they came in and called for her. "Mommy?!" Charlie yelled. "Are you ready?"

"Coming right now." She yelled and grabbed her bag before meeting them. "Don't you two look good." She greeted.

"Mommy! Happy Mommy's Day!" Charlie ran to her. "Look, we match!"

"Oh wow, we do. And you look stunning Charlie Bear."

They both did, Hotch thought. "You do too mommy. So pretty. Do you like it?"

"I love it." She looked to Hotch as she hugged her girl and mouthed, "Thank you."

He offered a silent "you're welcome" and wished her a Happy Mother's Day too. "Charlie was right. She said you'd look good in that." And his first reaction was just simply, "Wow!" Though, he thought that wouldn't be quite as respectful or tactful. There were thoughts in his head better left unshared.

"Thank you. You look very nice too." She put Charlie down.

"He matches us too!" Charlie pointed out.

Examining him, Emily nodded. "So he does."

"We have a surprise for you. Are you ready?" The girl asked.

"Not going to tell me where we're going?"

"Nope, then it wouldn't be a surprise."

"I guess it wouldn't."

"I got you presents too Mom, but you have to wait 'til later. Now we have to go. Right Aaron? So we're not late?"

"Late for what?" Emily tried one last time.

"No spoiling the surprise Emily. You'll find out soon." He teased. "Ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

"Trust me, you'll like this."

"Ok."

He lead them to the car, opening doors for them and doing all the stereotypically guy things to do. Emily tried to discern where they were going, but Hotch was a vault and they taught Charlie too well. She kept searching for clues, looking out the window and watching where they were going. She knew the area, but they could've been heading toward any number of things that required fancy get up. For all she knew, they were having an overdressed picnic. Though, she couldn't figure out how they could possibly be late for that though.

The not knowing was kind of making her anxious. It wasn't that she didn't trust Hotch because she did. And she knew he wouldn't do anything she wouldn't like with their daughter there too. It was supposed to be a surprise for her so she should've just sat back and enjoyed the ride, but, well, she blamed control issues for why she sat there with her leg shaking as her daughter tried to keep her engaged.

"Relax." Hotch said quietly as he put his hand on her knee to still the bounce. "I'm not kidnapping you. This is supposed to be fun. I promise you, promise, it will be."

"Ok. You're right."

"I know." He smiled. "We're here."

"We are?!" Both Prentiss girls got excited, Emily looking out the window anxiously.

"Oh Aaron…" Her heart melted, any doubt she ever felt disappearing and those walls around her feelings for him that she desperately tried to rebuild suddenly starting to dissolve. "You remembered."

"I did."

"But… I told you about it…" She thought back in astonishment. "Like 15 years ago in passing… How?"

"Some things you just don't forget." He told her.

She felt like crying… a good kind of crying. Thankfully, Charlie popped her head over the console and asked, "What are you slow pokes doing? We're here and I'm hungry." She patted her stomach.

"Ok little monster. We're coming." Emily told her.

The family made their way into the restaurant. It was crowded, as it usually was and still, had its privacy. They were escorted to a table littered with extravagance from real silver utensils to a tablecloth that probably cost more than any piece of fabric meant to protect and decorate a block of wood ever should. The whole kit and caboodle adorned their spot. "I can't believe this place is still here. I thought it closed a lot time ago."

"It did. They closed for a few years to remodel, but it reopened last year."

"It's… wow."

"Mommy are you happy?"

"So happy baby."

They had a wonderful time. The food was amazing, the talk was interesting, and the atmosphere was just right, but the company was what made it perfect. The three of them… it was nice. It was comfortable. It was what she wanted and denied herself. Him too, though he was still in the denial stage, lesser so, but still there. And the look on their little girl's face made them feel a warmth they couldn't even imagine. They ate and talked and had the complimentary photo they were offering special for the day…

It was more than she dreamed of, especially when she planned on spending the day in bed… This was so much better. Better than what they normally did too, cozying up in front of the TV for a movie marathon and chocolate fest. But one thing remained the same. Charlie gave her an adorable card with her own little greeting inside. And when they got home, she'd put it on the mantle like she always did, though the first time in their new house.

She didn't think a day got any better than that.

"Thank you Aaron. Thank you so much for this. You didn't have to…"

He stopped her. "Yes I did. I knew you wanted her to be with you today just like she had been every year past. This time, I just wanted to be involved too. You're her mother. This is your day."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Here." He passed her an envelope. "Don't read it until I leave alright?"

"Sure."

Charlie was wiped out from their long day. After brunch they walked around the area and visited a few shops. It was a simple way to just spend time together. And that was all they needed. But it was enough to tire the girl out. "I'll carry her upstairs then leave you to it."

"Ok. And thanks again Aaron. I had… a really great day."

"I'm glad. Me too. See you tomorrow."

Once he was gone, with Charlie napping and a little time to herself, Emily finally opened the card. She didn't know what to expect. In all honesty, before the day, she wouldn't have expected anything at all or generic greeting card at best, but he kept surprising her.

_Emily, _

_Thank you for the gift you've given me. She is… something I never thought to ask for but couldn't imagine my life without. Thank you for looking past my mistakes and failures and allowing me into both of your lives. You are a better person than I could be. We've both made our fair share I suppose, and we've both had our reasons, but we got here. And I wouldn't change now for the world. She is, without a doubt, your daughter. And I think that makes me love her more. _

_You did amazing with her. No one can ever say otherwise. And you did it on your own. It's because of that, because of the strength I know it took and the courage I know you possess, that all the bad we've put each other through is forgiven. You are the mother of my only daughter and I wouldn't pick anyone else for the job._

_Today is not nearly enough to express my gratitude, but I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless. I remembered this place being one of the few good memories of your childhood you've ever shared and I just wanted to make today special for you. You deserve it and so much more. _

_Happy Mother's Day._

_Love, _

_Aaron_

His words meant so much to her, more than she could express. She didn't feel she deserved them, mostly his forgiveness. But he gave her that. He lifted a weight off of her that was so constricting, but she did her best to pretend wasn't there. It was about time they both released themselves of the guilt they felt; her for keeping the secret, and him for his reaction to it. In doing that, they were free. There was still some of it there. It would never truly go away, but they weren't confined to those feelings. She needed to hear that she was forgiven just as he had to hear it from her in order to reconcile his actions with himself.

That day was the real turning point for their family. They all eased into routine. Weekends went well and surprise visits weren't huffed off. Emily actually found herself taking part in it. Normally when he dropped by, besides for dinner if that happened to be when he came, she gave them some space, but then she started to participate. She no longer avoided him, but embraced his presence and fell back into those old patterns she tried to stay away from. He noticed it, and she did too.

And things were going well. Now, back in the present, they were getting through June and still things were going good. It was a Monday morning when it happened.

The team was gathered in the conference room going over their cases when two of their phones rang. They both reached for the device, ready to hit the ignore button and apologize to the rest of the team, but then they saw who was calling.

"It's Henry's school." JJ said.

"Me too; Charlie's school." Both moms were worried. "I have to take this." Emily said to Hotch, her face written with concern; his showing the same as she and JJ left the room. He wanted to follow, but knew he couldn't. Rossi was watching him though.

The two conversations nearly mirrored each other, going a little something like, "This is she… Yes… Ok. An incident? What kind of incident? … What?! … Is everyone ok? … Good… Right… I'll be there as soon as I can."

The women looked to each other, simultaneously saying, "We've got to go." When they returned to the briefing, they quickly muttered their apologies and told everyone they had to leave.

"What's wrong with my chickadees?" Garcia asked.

"We don't know. There was an incident." Emily explained looking directly to Hotch.

"What kind of incident?"

"Henry and Charlie seem to have been in some sort of… well… fight."

"A fight? Oh my little scrappers. Are they ok?"

"They've assured us that they're both fine, physically."

"Charlie fell and has some scrapes, but that's the extent of it." She was getting impatient. Neither minded telling them everything. They wanted to know out of friendly concern, but they really needed to get to their kids and see the damage for themselves. "We really should get down there."

"Look." Hotch interrupted. He saw the pleading look on Emily's face every time he looked at her. He needed answers and she needed him. His daughter needed him. "Why don't we all take an early lunch? We'll reconvene in an hour or so and hopefully have a full team."

"Alright." Everyone agreed and made to leave.

Before Emily could reach the door, Hoch stopped her. "I'm coming too."

"Are you… Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure. That's my kid. I need to know what's going on too."

"Ok, let's go then. Now."

The three of them arrived at the school as quickly as they could in a hurry to see for themselves that the incident, as it was called by the school, was just a minor infarction. They waited to be buzzed in at the doors then rushed toward the principal's office.

"Ah Ms. Prentiss," the principal shook her hand in greeting, "Ms. Jaraeu," then JJ's, and finally, he turned to Hotch. "And…"

"Agent Hotchner." He said almost possessively.

"I wasn't aware were making this a federal matter."

"Oh, Principal Paley, this is Charlie's father."

"Well, nice to meet you."

"You too sir."

"Why don't we take this into my office?"

"Where are our kids?" JJ asked first. She wanted to see Henry.

"I assure you both Henry and Charlotte are just fine. She is icing a bruise in the nurse's office. You can find your way there as soon as we're finished talking."

The three agreed, though they would've preferred to see the kids first, and took the seats across from the desk. "It would seem like your children started a fight with some of our older students here."

"They started it?"

"That doesn't sound like them?"

"A teacher witnessed their attack."

"Attack? You make it seem like they're part of some sleeper cell and carefully planned this out."

"Listen Miss Prentiss, this isn't the first time we've had issue with Charlie. She's a good kid, but she and Henry physically assaulted two other students. We have a zero tolerance policy."

"Well, are the other two in the nurse's office having their bruises iced and scrapes cleaned up?" JJ asked.

"No, they were sent back to class."

"As I recall, the last time this happened, the one other time, the same older kids were picking on a student and she was defending them. What's the story this time?" She said angrily. It felt like an attack on her kid and she did not like that at all. She looked over to see a frustrated Hotch check his phone. Why the hell would he come when all he was going to do was look at his screen?

"A teacher saw Henry about to punch one of the kids as Charlie pushed one away."

"So no one saw how it started?"

"No but one can infer…"

Hotch stood up angrily, "One can infer nothing. These are two bright kids who were taught well and they know violence is not the right choice. So if they hurt anyone or attacked anyone, and I emphasize the if, then they were clearly provoked and I find it unsettling that you are disciplining two first graders and allowing two what, second or third graders off the hook for the same thing. What is it Mr. Paley? Are these students' parents' board members? Promising an endowment to the school for a free pass?"

"Mr. Hotchner, I do not like what you are alluding to!" The principal mimicked Hotch's actions as the girls watched in bewilderment. They weren't sure what was happening… A male thing maybe?

"I'm not alluding to anything. I'm stating that there is something wrong here if you are letting two juvenile delinquents with several other incidents on their record off the hook and pinning whatever this is on two innocent kids."

"I have no idea what you mean."

"I mean, Sam and Michael Kyle are bullies and I won't stand for my daughter, for our kids, to take the fall so they don't make mommy and daddy councilmen look like great parents come election time."

The graying man faltered. "I don't believe I said the names of the other kids involved."

"No, you didn't, but that's the perk of working in the FBI and having world class analysts at your service. We have access to information otherwise unavailable. And if you check the camera feeds, which I'm sure you were just about to do, you'd clearly see that they pushed my daughter… pushed a tiny little girl that was half their size and she and Henry were simply defending themselves. Meanwhile, you were given a generous endowment to your pension. Now, do I need to make a call to get this resolved or are you going to let us see our kids?"

"Fine. Go, Miss Prentiss and Miss Jaraeu know the way."

"Thank you." He waited for Emily and JJ to stand, which they did, still a little bemused. "Oh, and Mr. Paley, I suggest you look into receiving that pension a little early. I hear the Vice Principal is eager to step up to the plate."

With that, he went to meet with Emily and JJ in the hallway. As they waited, they tried to figure things out. "What just happened?"

"I have no idea, but that was…" Emily started.

"Hot?"

"I wasn't going to…"

"Because it was. He was all fiercely protective and that was kind of sexy." Hell yeah it was, Emily thought. "It's ok to admit it…"

"Yeah… But really, what just happened?

"Looks like our sexy hacker friend came through for us."

"But… Hotch… She sent the information to him…"

JJ patted her friend's back. "Seems to me you're going to need to talk to her sooner than later." Not looking forward to that.

"I suppose it's a must. Look, Hotch is coming, let's go to the kids."

Both gave Hotch a thank you and told him to follow them. The kids were fine. Charlie had some redness and bruising on her knee and arm, but that was the extent of it; typical of a fall. And Henry just had a little redness on his arm. They were both ok and that was what mattered, but Charlie looked miserable.

"Oh Charlie Bear, what happened?" Emily immediately asked walking to her daughter and scoping her up. The girl just started crying, words unable to escape through the sniffling. Hotch's heart broke.

"Henry, are you ok?"

"Yeah mama. I'm ok." He told JJ.

"Can you tell me what happened?"

"They were being mean."

"Who was?"

"The big kids."

"Can you tell us what they did Henry?" Hotch asked, eager to know what had his daughter so upset… He felt useless and getting information was the only way he thought to help.

But he shook his head. "I can't."

"Why not?"

"I promised."

"Promised who?"

"Charlie."

"Well, you can tell me Henry, I'm your mom and I love both you and Charlie very much. We all just want to know what happened."

"Am I in trouble for being a bad boy?"

"You're not in trouble yet. I know you're a good boy Henry, but fighting is wrong. Can you please tell me why you thought it was ok?"

"They made her cry mama!"

"Who cry?"

"Charlie! They made her cry. They were being so mean."

"What were they saying?"

"Mean things."

"Like what?"

"About her… and her mommy." He said quietly and quickly glanced over to Hotch. "And her daddy too."

Now his heart was really breaking. It was because of him that she was crying her eyes out, gripping onto her mother like everything was about to disappear. "What, what did they say?"

"Today was share day." He told them.

"Oh, you met with your third grade buddies?" Right, Hotch remembered something about that. Charlie told him that everyone in her class was given an older buddy.

"Yeah, and we had to talk about our families."

"So what happened?"

"They started making fun of her. They called her a bad word."

"That was very wrong of them. What did they say?"

"I'm not supposed to say bad words."

After some narrowing down and creative word play, they learned the kids told Charlie she was a bastard. "That little shits." Hotch wanted to yell.

"Henry, can you please tell me what else got you and Charlie so upset?"

"They were just being so mean to her and then they pushed her. I had to help her mama! I had to just like she helped me!"

"I'm not upset with you Henry. I understand you were trying to help your friend. But now you need to help her again and tell us what was said."

"They called her stupid because she calls her dad Aaron and she didn't have a real family. And… and they said he probably wasn't even her real dad because her real dad doesn't care about her. They told her, her mommy didn't care about her either. But I know she does. Emily loves Charlie!"

"I know baby. It's ok. Come on. Let's check on Charlie and then we can go."

After hearing that, Hotch was livid and he knew he had to do something. So he went over to where Emily and Charlie were now sitting, the little girl still sniffling, but the tears dying down. Kneeling before them, he rubbed a circle on her back. "Hi Charlie."

"Huh- hi." She hiccupped.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" She nodded into her mother's shoulder. "Ok. You know Charlie, your mommy and I love you so very, very much."

"I know." She whispered.

"And what those boys told you…. It's not true."

"Yes it is. We're not a real family." There is was again. Just like she said a few weeks earlier. "They said Jack wasn't my brother because I don't see him all the time."

"Oh Charlie." Emily said and squeezed a little tighter, but before she could say anymore, Hotch took over.

"You know, Jack asks about you all the time."

"He does?"

"Yeah, he really does. And just because we don't all live together or see each other every day doesn't make us any less of a family. Jack tells his friends all about his little sister and how great she is. And I tell everyone I can how amazing my beautiful little girl is and how lucky I am to be her father. I know what those boys said hurt your feelings, but none of it is true. We are a real family. We're not like every other family, but everyone is different. I love you Charlie. Mommy loves you, and no one can ever take that away from you sweetheart. We all love you so much and we are a very special kind of family."

"You hear that Charlie Bear?"

"Yeah…"

"Can I give you a hug?"

"Mmhmm." She peeled herself from her mother's arms and allowed him to hold her. His arms wrapped around her, encasing her in his love, because that was all he had for his little girl; his amazing, resilient, strong little girl and he wanted her to feel that. "I love you Charlie." He whispered into his ear. Her arms then wrapped around him too, a desperate cling to him. She loved him too. She'd say it to him soon. "I love you so much." He looked to Emily and said, "Let's get her out of here."

All of them left the school, Charlie staying with Hotch as much as she could. None of them could return to the office. It just wasn't happening. And since it was just a briefing and not a case that was going to call them away, Hotch called the rest of the team and told them to just work on their consults and paperwork. There'd be a double briefing the following day.

Before leaving that night, once he knew Charlie truly believed what he said and was then safely tucked away in dreamland, he told Emily Garcia insisted they have a talk soon, something compounded by the fact that Hotch was acting as an intermediary. "I should've known she really did know…" There were hints and everything. She was just trying to ignore it. Guess that hadn't worked for anything else, so why would that be any different? "Thank you for being so great with her today."

"It was nothing. Everything I said was true. And, she hinted that something was off a while ago. I thought simply telling her we were a family would make her believe it. That didn't work, but I hope this did. I love her. We all do." He looked to her for added emphasis. "We are a family."

"I know. A weird one but we're all kind of a family, eccentric aunts and uncles too."

"Isn't that the truth…" He sat across from her. "Does it get easier?"

"What? Being a parent? You tell me. Jack's older, how's that going?"

"I meant seeing her so sad. It's just… It's different with her. With Jack, when he gets upset, even as a kid, I knew how to fix it and I knew it would just roll right off of him, but…"

"But she's a girl and it's different…"

"Yes."

"It really doesn't. When she started walking, the first time she fell she cut her lip open. She cried for a second and I cried for like ten minutes after that. Or the first time a kid picked on her… My heart just broke. But she handled it so well. I wanted to see how she handled it before I stepped in, and she just told the girl that she was being very mean, that they could no longer play together, and that she would tell if she kept doing it. I was so proud… and sad. She was growing up and becoming her own person. I don't think that ever gets easier."

"I don't think so either. I guess… I guess I should go."

"Yeah."

"We have to show her we're a family. As different as it is, we have to make sure she knows."

"We will."

"That means telling the team too."

"I know."

"We have to figure that out."

"Just not today."

"Of course not."

"I'll talk to Garcia. Then we'll worry about the rest."

"I uh…. I guess I should tell you Rossi knows."

"Should've realized… He's been, well, very Rossi like and fatherly lately. I think he suspected something anyway. And… I'm glad you have someone to talk to."

"Me too. You do realize Morgan's not going to be happy he's one of the last to know."

"Yeah, I know. I'll let him win a round during hand to hand. It'll lessen the blow."

"Alright." He laughed. "See you tomorrow. And give her another hug for me later."

"Will do. See you tomorrow Hotch."

"Goodnight Emily."

Once she was alone again, checking on Charlie one last time, he made her way to her room. Pulling out her phone, she sent her friend a text. _Come to dinner tomorrow? Charlie time then me, you and some talking?_

The response came quickly. _You know it Gumdrop. Give my girl some love._

That was one thing taken care of. That would be a talk a long time coming and it would be one more step toward having the secret completely out there. She wanted her team, her family, to know so they could truly be a family.

After that, she searched through the contacts for a certain number hitting send once she found it. "Hello."

"Haley?"

"This is she."

"Hi Haley. It's Emily."

"Oh. Hi Emily. What's going on? Is Aaron alright?"

"Yes, yes he's fine. I'm sorry I didn't mean to worry you and I apologize for calling so late."

"It's alright. What is it?"

"Well, I am calling about Ho-Aaron actually. He's fine, it's just… I had an idea and I need a little help. Charlie would like to spend some time with her brother too. If you and Jack were ok with it, I was wondering if he could spend the night Saturday."

"You know Sunday is…"

"I know." She quickly stated. "That's part of it. If you're uncomfortable with it, he doesn't have to stay the night, but it would mean a lot to Charlie and Hotch, and well, me too, if he could be with us Sunday."

"I have no problem with him spending time with his sister. I'll make sure he's ok with it, but I think we can work something out."

"Thank you so much Haley."

"It's no problem. Jack loves her. They need some time together too." There: another thing settled and more plans to be made. She never thought the day would come where she and Haley could or would, willingly pick up the phone and talk to each other. It wasn't like they were great buddies or anything, but they were more than acquaintances at least. Their civility was great for their kids, and it fostered the possibility for better relationships between the group.

Come the next day and Charlie was in a much better mood. On the way out the door, Emily was sure to remind her to ignore any bullies and try to avoid any fights, but, she added playfully, she loved her even if she was a trouble maker. The day from then on was uneventful and felt like it was dragging on. She assumed, it was because she was anticipating that night and her talk with Garcia.

"Still coming tonight Pen?" Emily asked on her way out, thankful the work day was over and she got to go home to her girl.

"Why of course E. Chateau Prentiss oh-600 sharp."

"See you then."

With no surprise, Garcia showed up with a bag full of goodies. "My brunette beauties!" She called as she came into the house. "The oracle comes bearing presents."

"Penelope!"

"Juju B!" Charlie was ecstatic to see the blonde and made her play all the kid games they both loved. They were cute together. Emily watched on as the two "kids" did their thing and she did the dishes. The talk was coming though, and she could feel the anxiety building. Was she mad? How long had she known? How had she known? So many questions and Garcia had as many, if not more, of her own.

Garcia started them off. "You know Em, you don't have to hide from us. Especially not me. I know I'm a big gossip, but I can keep a secret. I would've kept your secret. Hell, I've been keeping it." And from there the talk went… Well, it went… They settled some things, learned some things, surprised each other, and in the end, grew a little closer for it.

It was good and hard and raw and honest. But it was necessary. "You need to tell the rest of the team."

"Trust me, I know."

"They won't think any different of you."

"Says you…"

"Says me the all-knowing."

"It's not me I'm worried about. I… I deserve whatever bad thoughts Morgan will have, because, let's face it, he's the one most likely to be angry. Keeping this secret has been wrong on so many levels and not telling all of you made it worse. So I'd deserve whatever gets thrown at me, but Hotch doesn't. Morgan knows some things and came up with this idea of what a bad guy Charlie's father is… But he didn't know all of it. And that's my fault, but it won't change his anger toward Hotch. And that's what I'm worried about."

"You know Em, I love you, but you're doing exactly what you don't want us to do."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you judged how all of us would react and how you think we'll feel, but you're not giving us the chance to prove you right or wrong."

Damn it Penelope! "You're right."

"Of course I am."

"I love you PG, you know that?"

"Oh I know."

"And we're going to tell them. Swear it."

"Soon?"

"Very. I promise."

"Good. Love you E. Thanks for letting me have some Charlie time on a school night, but now it's late and this hacker girl needs some sleep. Super-agent looks like she could use some too."

"Agreed. Night Garcia. Thanks for… just being you."

"Wouldn't want to be anyone else." And no one would want her to be.

The next morning they were called away on a case. Any plans to make plans were put on hold. It was a nasty one. A serial arsonist was terrorizing Nebraska. Thankfully, they were able to catch the guy before he lit the last fire. It turned out to be just a kid; a teenager. That always made the job harder. But putting away anyone who killed eleven people by burning them alive was an easy task to do. Prison was where he needed to be and where he would stay.

The world was safer for it.

They made it home just in time for the weekend, something Emily was grateful for. She told Haley, as she was sure Hotch did, that they were called away, but that she didn't want to change plans if she didn't have to. Now she didn't have to. Because of that, she was happy, and the weight of the case just slid right off of her. Those monsters would not be getting in her head. She had more important things; more important people, on her mind to worry about.

On Saturday, when she and Jack arrived, Emily invited Haley in for some coffee and snacks. They had a nice conversation and talked like friends would. They weren't labeling each other or anything. Calling each other friends seemed like a far reach, but whatever. Haley was unsure of the brunette at first. She knew what she knew and thought what she thought, but she was also aware she didn't have all the facts. Emily was a good woman though, that she knew. And she would make her ex-husband a very happy man if they could get their acts together. She had a feeling they would. It might take a few good knocks to the head though.

"Tomorrow should be a fun day. Aaron will be so surprised."

"In a good way though right?" Emily asked like a teen in need of approval.

"In the best way. He'll be spending Father's day with the people he loves most."

"And they'll be spending it with him." She stated as if she wasn't one of those people, but Haley knew better. She hated that her once husband could love someone else, but Emily was… She fit him. That was clear to her. They didn't have to be best friends for her to see that. So why couldn't they seem to figure it out? "I thought I'd let the kids pick where we go. We all went to the Air and Space Museum and had so much fun, I thought we could do something like that tomorrow."

"You're letting them pick?"

"Well, I'm giving them some options."

"Smart choice."

"They get some leeway, but complete autonomy would put me in… I don't even want to know."

They chit chatted for a while as the kids played nicely but eventually, Haley excused herself saying she was meeting with her sister. After giving Jack a goodbye, she was on her way. Emily then called the kids over. "Want to help make dinner?" She asked, to which they both eagerly agreed. "Ok, come on."

The three conjured up something edible and sat around the table to eat. Emily reminded them the next day was Father's Day and asked them if there was something they really wanted to do with their dad. Some of the ideas were a little out there, but, eventually, she got them to settle on just one thing she could agree on.

"Mommy?"

"Yes Charlie?"

"Can I have the special paper?"

"Are you going to make something?"

"Uh huh and Jack too. He's going to help."

"Ok, I'll get it out."

"Awesome! Come on Jack, let's go set up!"

They worked on their little arts and crafts project until it got late and Emily told them it was time to brush those teeth and hit the hay. She read them a story before tucking them both in. Jack, being the sweet boy he was, thanked her for letting him come over and see Charlie. "You don't have to thank me Jack." She told him. "She's your sister. That makes you my family too. You're always welcome here. Don't you forget it ok?"

"Ok. Night Emily."

"Night Jack." Such a sweet boy, she thought as she switched off the light.

Charlie snuck into her room just as she was about to fall asleep. "Mommy?" She whispered into her ear. "Are you asleep?"

"Yes."

"But you talked?"

"What's wrong Charlie Bear?"

"I can't sleep."

"I can see that. Why not?"

"I'm excited."

"For tomorrow?"

"Uh huh. I never… This is the first time I have a daddy." Oh... Oh! She called him daddy!

"You know what?" Her head shook. "This is is first Father's Day having a daughter. I bet hes even more excited that you."

"Really?"

"Yes. But you won't have any fun tomorrow if you're tired, so you need to get some rest."

"Alright…"

"You can stay and cuddle with me if you want."

"That's ok… I'm a big girl." And she had other plans.

"Alright, go to bed baby."

"Night mommy. Love you."

"Love you."

When she woke up that morning and went to check on the kids, she found Charlie's bed empty. A panic set in as she practically sprinted toward Jack's room, her heart racing. But she could finally breathe again once she opened the door. Charlie and Jack were both in bed, holding hands. He looked like he was protecting her from the potential dangers of the world, keeping her safe from the monsters. It was the cutest thing. Now using the phone she had tightly in her grip in case she needed to call for help, she snapped a picture.

Early as it was, she had a feeling her profiling counterpart would be up anyway. So she sent him the picture with a few words. _Come spend the day with them?_

_Anytime. _He answered quickly. _Be there at 8._

He needed a shower and change first. But as soon as he was done with that, he was on his way over there. Emily was sure to wake the kids so they could get their little project out and help set up. "We want to make him breakfast." They told her, so she broke out the ingredients for waffles. Cut up fruit and freshly whipped, whipped cream was set up on the table next to their cards and gifts. They were so anxious and giddy, especially Charlie. As wonderful as Mother's Day was, Charlie had a few of those already. This was the first Father's Day where she had a father there to celebrate. Of course, she still made her customary card for Clyde, because, well, he was a surrogate for so many things and he'd always hold that place in her heart. But this year, she had the real thing. It was new and fun and incredibly amazing to witness.

The kids perked when the doorbell rang. "That's him!" They were sure. Emily went to get the door as they finished getting ready.

"Hi Aaron,"

"Hi Emily." His smile was already out.

"Happy Father's Day."

"Thank you."

"The kids are impatiently waiting for you."

"I didn't know you had Jack over."

"Well, it was part of the surprise, so act surprised alright?"

"No problem." Truth was, there'd be no acting. The greeting he got was enough to shock him. Jack spotted him first.

"Dad!" He exclaimed and ran to him. It was a fitting greeting with lots of hugs and special wishes for the day. But that was typical. It never got old, for sure, but what came next set the tone for the rest of the day. Charlie ran down the stairs when she heard the commotion. She told Jack she had to be dressed pretty for their dad, not in her pajamas so she ran upstairs to change before he could see her.

And when she got back down there, she was a little timid. Emil assured her it was ok and that he was excited too and that seemed to be all she needed to get going. Silently, she ran to him and wrapped her arms around his legs. "Happy Father's Day daddy. I love you!"

The room seemed to still. His heart stopped as if his entire body had to stop in order to capture the moment that happened. She called him daddy. She said she loved him… And there was no prompting or coaching. It was of her own volition. He felt whole. "Come here sweetheart." He lifted her up. "I love you too." He said as he hugged her. "You have no idea how nice it feels to hear you call me daddy."

"You are my daddy."

"I am."

"And I love you."

"I love you too. So much."

The rest of the day could've been disastrous and it wouldn't have mattered because having his two children around and finally being called and accepted as her father made the pay absolutely perfect. The fact that it wasn't disastrous was just a bonus. Before leaving the house, the kids gave him their art project, a drawing of their family, the four of them, Haley, and the team. That was their family and they knew that. And there were the cards and gifts too. Even reading the words I love you daddy on paper coming from both his kids created enough warmth to melt the polar ice caps.

When they went on to part two of the day, he couldn't help but cringe just a little and then shrug it off. "Should I be worried she picked the spy museum?" He asked as they walked side by side, their eyes trained on the kids.

"Afraid she took after me a little too much?"

"Uh…"

She laughed, nudging him a little. "It's alright. I don't want her to take after that part of me either. Truth is, both kids wanted this place, why, I don't know, but it's what they wanted. Something like spies get the bad guys like you and daddy."

"They're something."

"They are. I tried to get them to pick the zoo, but Jack started talking some cartoon spy and this place won."

"Blaming my kid huh?"

"Blaming both of them." She teased. "But we'll have fun."

"As long as you don't teach them any spy ticks."

"I would never." She pretended to be aghast. "Those are going with me to the grave… or until Charlie starts dating and needs to hide the guy from daddy."

He stopped and grabbed her hand, looking her dead in the eye. "You're joking right? I mean you are joking…"

"Of course I am!" She stated. "Besides… Our daughter's never dating. That's just that."

"Amen."

"We should go catch up with them."

"After you." He motioned for her to lead the way.

They spent hours exploring the museum looking at all the different things. Hotch's mind wandered a little to what Emily's life with the CIA had to be like, but he tried not to let it faze him. They were having much too good a time to let anything Doyle related get them down. But he did see it was hard for her to see the kids love the idealized spy life. It wasn't a life she'd recommend and definitely not something she wanted for them. But, she too let it go for the day. It was just a museum and a momentary childhood fancy. Nothing to be concerned about.

"How about some food?"

"Ice cream?" the kids asked.

"Um, how about real food first? Then we'll talk flavors."

"Ok, daddy picks." Charlie said. "It's daddy day, so he has to pick."

"Whatever daddy wants we can get." Emil assured her.

Seeing Charlie stand there with her fingers crossed and mouthing "Pick ice cream," he played along. "Hmm… Anything I want… Well, let's see… How does ice cream sound? And then some French fries?"

"Yum!" the kids agreed.

"You're such a bad influence." Emily teased him as she wrangled the kids and headed for the car.

"Hey, well you're just no fun. I mean, ice cream after food. Who does that?"

"Ha ha. Come on you big kid. Let's get some ice cream in that tummy."

The family decided to go to the park so the kids could play and they could eat out on the nice warm June day. They spent a few hours running around, the adults too acting like kids. To an outside observer, they were any old nuclear family; mom, dad, two kids, just missing the dog. But they were so much more than that and they wouldn't have it any other way.

"I don't know who's more exhausted, me or the kids." Emily said as they got in the car, both children nodding off in the back.

"I'm thinking me."

"Always have to win."

"I am the oldest."

"I'll give you that one. I'm in no rush to reach my forties."

"Are you saying forties are old?"

"I'm calling you old, old man."

"Nice Emily. I'll remember that."

"You sure? Dementia might start to set in soon."

"You're going to get it for that one, just you wait."

They joked with each other the whole way home. First they dropped off Jack. He carried his sleeping boy in and was greeted by Haley. "You tired him out huh?"

"I think he tired us out."

"Yu have a good time Aaron?"

"I did. Thanks so much for letting him be a part of it too. It wouldn't have been the same without him."

"I'm glad Emily wanted him to be with you all today. She's… She's good to him too. I respect that."

"She loves him, considers him family too."

"Good. I would've had to kick her butt if she didn't."

"No need to worry about that." He laughed. She put an image in his head that would stay for a while. "You know Haley, you'll never understand how grateful I am… we both are, that you're being so good about all of this. You could've easily been a real…"

"Bitch?" She finished for him.

"Yeah, but I should've known that's just not who you are. So thanks for that, and today."

"Thank her. It was her idea. I just went along with it."

"I will." He looked back at the car. "Back to our regular weekends next week?"

"Yeah. Bye Aaron."

"Bye Haley."

He got in the car and sighed a content sigh. "Everything ok?" Emily asked.

"Everything's perfect." He told her. "Absolutely perfect." And the feeling only intensified as he looked into the back seat at his girl. She was his and she knew it too. Yeah, things were good.

Arriving at her house, Hotch carried Charlie to bed and then joined Emily on the porch. "I'd offer you something stronger, but we have work tomorrow." She joked as she handed him a glass of water.

"Water's perfect, thanks."

"I know it wasn't as fancy as brunch and not nearly as sentimental, but how was your Father's Day?"

"I wouldn't have changed even one bit of it."

"Even the spy museum."

"Even that. Only the look on your face when you were lost in those dark memories. That I would change." Her face flushed. "But the rest of it… Thank you… thank you for giving me that and making my first Father's Day with Charlie so perfect."

"You made my day special. I had to do the same for you."

"You didn't have to, but I'm so happy you did. I had a great day with you… all of us together."

"Me too."

He leaned back into the seat, a look on her face she didn't know how to explain as anything but happy. "She called me Daddy Emily! She… She told me she loved me." Several times and each time felt just as amazing as the last.

"I know." She said with the biggest smile. She was so happy for him to finally hear it and know she meant it. She was so happy for all of them.

"And… and I owe that to you." He put his hand on hers.

"No, you owe it to yourself. She just needed to see everything you said was true. And she knows that now. You're her daddy. Forever and always."

"Emily… there's…"

"What? What is it?" His demeanor changed so quickly she didn't know how to respond. Was something wrong?

He turned to her so their bodies were practically touching, his knees resting right next to hers and his weight leaning closer to her. "I've been doing some thinking and there's something I wanted to talk to you about…"

"Oh God, is something wrong?" Was he changing his mind about Charlie? Was he planning on taking her? Her mind was so trained to think the worst, which was where it went.

"No… nothing's wrong per say…"

"Per say? What does that mean?"

"I just… Maybe… Maybe it would be better if I showed you."

"Showed me... Showed me what? Please Hotch you just have to spit it out I'm kind of freaking out…" He silenced her with a kiss. "…here." She finished, stunned. Did that just happen? "Ok…" She liked it. It was what she wanted, and without thinking, she went in for another. It deepened and god did they both enjoy it, but the gravity of the kiss finally hit her. "No! Stop. Stop Hotch, stop!" She pushed him away and jumped to her feet. "What are we doing? What the hell are you thinking? I won't do this again… I can't… You're seeing someone…"

"Emily…" He tried to interrupt.

"You are seeing someone. And I may not like that, but I refuse to be the other woman again. Last time I didn't know, but this time I do! I won't do it! I won't!" She had angry tears fighting in her eyes.

"Emily please listen to me…" Again he went unheard.

"You can't do this to me! It isn't fair. You told me you didn't want to be with me, you got yourself a girlfriend… I try to move on." And fail to… "And then we get close again… I put my feelings aside and make us work as friends for our children and you… You go and kiss me!" She shook her head. "I can't do this. I'm not doing this. You need to go."

"Emily!" He reached for her, but she rebuked, snatching her hand away like he was a flame she must avoid unless looking to be burned.

"I don't want to hear it! You need to go" Se stomped away.

"Please!" He begged and pleaded. "You don't understand…

_He saw what Rossi was doing. _

_And he understood why he meddled. _

_Point received, lesson learned, things will be done. _

_He was acting like a real idiot. He saw that now. He just wanted the best of both worlds. He wanted a little bit of everything and that wasn't fair to her. It wasn't fair to either of the hers that were currently, in some way, romantically linked to him. He wanted what was new and fresh with Beth. She was so uncomplicated. With her he wouldn't be breaking any rules. He would just be a guy dating a woman and having a good time. But he enjoyed his visits, as he called them, with Emily. _

_He wasn't a bad guy. He just wasn't willing to settle for once in his life. He didn't know which he wanted more; the woman he could see a life with and knew understood him but came with so many impediments, or the new woman with whom he had a connection and offered him a fresh start, but might fall into the same rut he had with Haley. She might not understand the job. She might not understand his need to do that job… She might not understand him._

_But he wouldn't know unless he gave her a chance. She was simple. She was easy to be around like a good friend and he just needed to know what it could be before he made any sort of decision. He did that... He enjoyed that… But it was time to make a real decision. _

_He picked up his phone, dialed a familiar number, and waited for and answer. "Aaron?"_

"_Yeah, it's me. Can I come over? We need to talk."_

"Emily wait." But she was gone, the door slamming behind her. "I broke up with Beth… To try and work things out with you…"

**OH NO! Misunderstanding central people! But you finally got it. Ding dong the witch is gone… Beth, while not the bad guy, was never the right girl for him. Let's just hope he didn't realize that too late. **

**I kind of lied about getting insight into Clyde's proposal. It was supposed to happen in this chapter, but the chapter kind of took on a life of its own. Next chapter though, that will be mentioned as well as some team interaction and maybe a surprise visit with a family member? Hmm… We shall see. **

**Hope you enjoyed it! Until next time…**

**bellairmenna ****It does usually take me a long time. I can't help it. I do try but somehow it still ends up being a while. I'm sorry about that. I feel quality should far surpass quantity, so it may take more time, but I try to make it long and worth the wait. I'm happy you agree it is. Those family moments and touchy feely emotional things are my favorite. Plenty of that in this update. Thanks for reading and enjoy. **

**HPforever-after**** Triathalonhussy… Hmm… well then I think you'll really like this chapter.**

**123a456e**** Your wish is my command…. Ok, not really, but I updated fairly quickly. That's a change right? A good one… and I think most people will like what happens in this one. Hope you're one of them. **

**SouthunLady**** Get rid of BC huh? Well, that can be arranged… As for their eternal blindness to jealousy and feelings, well, profiler or not, denial is a very powerful blanket of concealment. It makes them very stupid where reality is concerned. Something tells me the meddling duo will get the point across… after reading, what do you think? A Rossi job well done?**

**blackstarsing**** I agree. They're blind and it's fun and annoying. You want to knock some sense into them or lock them in a closet together… Hmm I think I just gave something away that may (or may not) happen… Garcia might have some tricks up her sleeve… What?! Shh… You didn't hear that from me… lol**

**rmpcmfan**** Hotch needed a Rossi talk huh? Yeah he needed a friend and he got one. Don't worry about Clyde. I love me some Clyde and he's not going anywhere. He'll always have a place with the Prentiss girls. No doubt about that. Plus, there's that little issue of the proposition that needs to be addressed. Whatever could it be?**

**sourgummycandy**** Well, if you're reading this before the chapter, I'd go do that first and stop here. But yeah, that love interest… didn't last very long. When you feel something for someone else, you can't always just bury it and hope for the best. She didn't want to lead him on and make it worse later. Didn't take too long this time. No need to hold your breath lol. Enjoy.**

**peannoir**** I'm not going to disagree. At points, he is treated unfairly, they all are, but that's how life works sometimes, and there was a reason for it that is explored this chapter. You treat those you love the most with the harshest criticism. Maybe they all just really love Hotch lol. In my mind, Charlie's really adorable too. I don't think I made Beth too much of a bitch, did I? A little on the jealous side, but not like she's a real villain, just a road block of sorts. **

**ViSav77**** Thank you. So glad you found and enjoy the story. Hope the net installment keeps you just as speechless. Enjoy it. **

**inheritancedrottningu**** I do it because I have to. Lol It's just a character flaw… Kidding, come on you know you like it… Was this quick enough? **

**emilyhotchner-and-olicityfan**** I always love what people have to say about Beth. It's never nice and always entertaining. You'll love the ending part of this chapter though. I agree, Clyde is amazing and they are all beyond blind when it comes to their feelings. So is the way with the stubborn I suppose. More family moments coming up. **

**EverythingSunny ****Thank you so much. Good characterization is a great compliment. I do what I can, so thanks. And what a traitor! I love Clyde and I have to say, I thought about making them a couple… Wonder if that's what the proposition was about… Hmmm… Wonderment. **

**Lktwh13**** Thanks! It's hard to find a way to tell the same story at two different places without being redundant, I'm glad you liked the way I did it. I guess it worked! Yay me!**

**Guest**** Thank you so much! Here's more! Enjoy my friend. **


	36. Fools in Love

_I do not own Criminal Minds, only the characters I have created in that world._

**I MET PAGET BREWSTER! Just had to get that out there. Seeing her at the Thrilling Adventure Hour was amazing. She's amazing... But I digress. Sorry about the delay, thanks for being the great readers you are, now onto the main attraction. **

**Also, I just finished finals and writing about 3 big papers, so my editing is pretty much shot. If there are a lot of mistakes, I apologize. Just ignore it, and if it really bothers you, let me know what it is and I'll correct it.**

Chapter 36: Fools in Love

He never got the chance to explain to Emily that she wouldn't be the other woman; that things with Beth were over and done and he never got to say the words that would get her to understand what he was feeling. Hotch stood outside her door like one of those idiot men in a stupid made for TV rom-com. Desperate to get Emily to speak to him and knowing, feeling, she was on the other side listening to him, he pleaded through the door, but the later it got and the quieter the street became, the less hope he had. Eventually, he had to call it a night or isk the neighbors sticking their nose in their business and calling the cops on him.

"Just give me a chance. Hear me out. Find me when you're ready." He said right before going, still reluctant to move from that very spot. But he needed to. He wasn't going to turn into that crazy guy again.

Emily sat there on the floor leaning against the door. She understood alright. He kissed her, again. And again, he was leading her on. It wasn't like this was the first time it happened. It wasn't even the second. And every time, it played with her emotions. It wasn't like they weren't all over the place already. What was he doing to her? Did he want to fill up her compartments so much that they all broke open and flooded her, filling her so completely that she just lost it and left her with no other choice than for to end up locked away in some psych ward?

That was where she was headed if he kept leading her on. He told her he didn't want her. Now he did… But he was with someone… She just broke up with someone… Why was he doing this to her? Why? Just why? And why then at that moment when things seemed to be so ok and settled between them?

"Mommy?" Charlie snuck downstairs looking for her. "Mommy?!" The call was a little more panicked and pained.

"I'm right here." Emily responded, forcing herself off the floor and wiping away at the tears. "I'm right here Charlie Bear. I thought you were in bed."

"I was, but I missed you and daddy. Where is he?"

"Oh… Um… He had to go back home. But he told me to give you a super big hug when you woke up."

"He did?"

"Yup, a special hug just for Charlie he said."

"Cool."

"Yeah, want that hug now?" She nodded. "Get over here then baby."

"Mommy?" Charlie asked, still holding on to her mom. "Were you and daddy fighting?"

"No, why do you ask?"

"I heard loud voices and now you look sad, but you were happy all day."

"I'm not sad." Emily lied, even a lie to herself. She had no idea what she was feeling, but sad was part of the list.

"Yes you are. I know. I have eyes and I can see mommy." Her small hand reached up to her mom's face. "I don't like when you're sad. It makes me sad too."

"No reason to be sad. I promise I'm ok Charlie. But, you won't be if we don't get you back to bed."

"Can I go in your bed?"

"Of course. Let's go." Emily quickly shut off the lights and followed Charlie to the bedroom. She tucked her in before heading to the bathroom to change and brush her teeth. Something told her sleep wouldn't come easy that night. Nightmares always came when she was emotionally charged. And she definitely was that.

But cuddling with Charlie helped. If she couldn't sleep, at least there was that comfort. Around midnight, though, the tossing and turning was making her crazy. Well, she guessed, it was as good a time as any to make that call she needed to make. It was around 6 am there. It was fine to call. Softly, as not to wake the child from slumber, Emily slipped from bed and grabbed her phone. She hit the number on the speed dial and waited. The voicemail came instead. "I know it's not too early so you must be on a case or at the office. I need to talk to you… about things… and about that proposal you gave me. Call me when you can Clyde. I'll be up. Talk soon."

Well, so much for that.

Morning came much too quickly and her back was aching. She must've fallen asleep in her chair when she decided to read a little. Not a good idea. So not only was she still an emotional ball, but she was sore too. Great. "Ugh." She groaned. "Get it together Prentiss. Get dressed, go about your day, and work like nothing changed. Because nothing did."

By the time she was done with morning mom duties, she was beyond ready to get back into bed and just collapse. She didn't know how she was going to survive the day. Or deal with Hotch… Maybe she should've called out. "No!" She yelled at herself as she pulled into the Quantico garage. "You're an adult. You don't need to run from this." No more running. That was a vow she made with herself. It wasn't really working out so well.

Of course, though, the one person she wants to avoid is the first she sees. "Morning." He greets her.

"Morning Sir." She responds.

"Sir?" She was reverting, building those impenetrable walls again. He had a lot of work ahead of him. "Emily about last night…"

"Not here. Not now."

"Then when?"

The elevator stopped about to open. "I don't know Hotch. Sometime… Maybe never. We'll see." She said before walking away.

Eight hours and counting until the work day was over and she could let the breath she'd be holding go. Until then, she had to keep it together and hold it all in. But that wasn't working well for her either.

"What's wrong Em?" Emily sat there staring into space, head resting heavily in one hand. "Em?" JJ tried again. Balling up a wad of scrap paper, JJ threw it at her friend. "Hey Emily."

"Huh what?" She snapped out of her trance looking around the room unfocused.

"You've been quiet all day. I practically had to spill coffee on you to get your attention at the briefing. What's up?"

"I'm…" Not going to push her away… "I need to talk to you… about something."

"Ok. I'm all ears."

"I can't here. Do you have time later?"

"For you I do. Why don't you bring Charlie over and Will can keep her and Henry occupied while we have some girl talk?"

"Are you sure? I don't want to impose."

"Em, come on. I told you to talk to me, now you want to talk… Do you really think I'm going to turn you away?"

"No… No I don't."

"Good. I'll see you tonight."

"Yeah…"

"You going to make it to tonight?"

"I'm going to have to."

"It's not Charlie is it?"

"No… No, she's perfect and now that Paley's gone at school, I don't think we'll be getting any more of those calls either."

"We better not."

"No… So I better get to work. But thanks you know… for…"

JJ jumped in. "Anytime."

Focusing on work wasn't easy, not for Emily or Hotch who were so focused on avoiding those awkward moments that the tension was palpable, not for JJ or Rossi who were both worried about their friends, and not for the rest of the team who clearly sensed something amiss. In short, it was a very unproductive work day. They were professionals though, and even if they didn't get quite as much as they normally did done, they still did what they had to.

"Emily, can we please go somewhere and talk?" Hotch tried to catch her before she left.

"Not today. I can't… I just need to think. Let me think."

"You think too much… Sometimes it's better to just say what's on your mind. I want to know what you're thinking."

Her eyes narrowed and face contorted, "Trust me, right now, you don't." She shook him off of her. "If you'll excuse me, I have to get home to our daughter. We have plans tonight. If you'd like to see her today, come early before we head out or late and be there for bedtime." She wasn't going to tell him not to come, but she was hoping that he stuck with a phone call that night to give her a little space to process.

"Ok…"

"Ok. See you tomorrow Sir."

"Emily wait." She stopped before the elevator doors closed and waited for him to say something.

"Yeah?"

"I just wanted to say…" No, he told himself, she asked for some time. Respect that. "To say…" He had to think of something. "Have a goodnight."

Though she felt that wasn't his original statement, she accepted it and wished him the same before hitting the close door button. Home and Charlie. That was all she could think about for the next hour at minimum. And it remained all that was on her mid; mostly. After sending Sarah home, her focus was all on her daughter. "Do you have homework?"

"I _always_ have homework." She stated with exaggeration.

"Homework is important."

Huffing, she said, "I know. It just makes me so exhausted." Overdramatic little thing she was.

"Really? Hmm. So you're going to be too exhausted to go see Henry and JJ? Oh well… Maybe next time."

"No! No, I want to go. I won't be too tired. Promise!"

"I'll have to think about it." She teased. "Get your backpack please and meet me at the table. I'm going to make a snack. Apples and peanut butter or…"

"Chocolate?"

"No chocolate. But you can have the chocolate yogurt with the apple."

"Yes please."

"Ok, go please."

Emily's mind was occupied with thoughts not Hotch or Clyde related for at least a few hours, but completely blocking it out wasn't a game she'd ever win. Was she being too hard on him? Should she have heard him out? What was she going to tell Clyde? Did she want it? Could she do it? Why was he taking so long to get back to her? It wasn't like him.

She was getting more and more anxious as the clock ticked and the time passed. She really needed to talk. "Mommy, is it time to go yet?"

"Almost. Go get your shoes. I'll help you lace them."

"Ok."

Impatience was setting her a frenzy. Her watch wasn't moving fast enough. Was it broken? So many thoughts and the one time she wanted it to speed up, time seemed to slow down. Just her luck. "Charlie, come on." What was taking so long?

"I'm coming." She came down wearing mismatched socks and with a pair of dress shoes. "I want to wear these."

"You know what?" Normally she'd protest. Those weren't shoes for playing. But it was a five minute drive and then indoors. It would be fine. "Fine, put them on."

"Awesome!"

Honestly, she needed to get things off her chest so bad, the child could've came down wearing a tutu and a wig and Emily probably would've caved. Or not, but she was feeling like she could've. And she was rushing them. She was on edge, pushing the speed limit, and incredibly anxious. She felt like a horrible person for practically pushing her daughter out of the car and to the house. Clearly, there was something wrong with her.

"Hey. Come in." They were greeted by Will.

"Charlie's here Henry." He called out, the little footsteps becoming faster and heavier.

"Charlie!" He yelled as he came and took her hand. "Come on, we can play in the basement." They ran off.

"I better go keep them out of trouble. Jen's just putting some clothes away in our room. Go on in."

"Ok, thanks Will." Kids off and playing, Emily found her way to the room, gently rapping on the frame.

"You're here." JJ said.

"You doubted me? I'm hurt."

"No… well, maybe a little."

"I guess I deserve that."

"No, I'm sorry. You can come in. I'm almost done in here." Emily entered, but did not sit. She was seconds away from pacing. "You look tense." JJ surmised. "What's going on?"

"I have a lot on my mind."

"Clearly." She stated plainly. "Come on, I come to you with all my problems and complaints and happiness… Everything. I'm here for you too."

"I know. I just… There's so much in here." She tapped her head. "I don't even know where to begin."

"How about you sit and tell me why you and Hotch were so weird today?"

"You noticed?"

"Yeah."

"I thought we did a good job covering it up."

"You did. I just know there's something to look for." And she was looking. Honestly, they were all looking. And when someone goes looking, she usually finds something.

Emily sighed and allowed her friend to drag her to the bed, sitting her down on the edge. "Talk to me. Did he do something to upset you?"

"Yes… No… Maybe… I don't know…"

"Well, it can't be all those things."

"Oh trust me… It can." It was. Ok, she breathed. Now or never. "I've been keeping something to myself for a while… And honestly it wasn't even that I was keeping it a secret… I just didn't think it would amount to much. I didn't think I'd actually consider it. But… but it's there and I've been thinking about it." She rambled. "A lot… thinking about it and then this happened and I'm thinking about it more. And I don't know why I am. I mean, it's crazy…"

"Em, slow down. What are you talking about?"

"You see… I… Clyde and I talk… a lot and when he came to visit last…. Well it was more than just him trying to keep me sane."

Oh juicy details please! "What was it then?"

"It was… Well, it was… He did come to see me, to support me…

"But…"

"He also wanted me to know he got a new job… a promotion."

"That's great for him. What does it have to do with you?"

"His new job comes with certain… benefits."

"Benefits?"

"Like bigger office, more pay… Hiring allowances."

"That's great… Oh. My. God!" It hit her. "He offered you a job?!"

"_Emily Love. I know it's rather late, but the way your mind is going, I don't see you getting much sleep anyway."_

"_Gee Clyde, how nice and comforting."_

"_We've been interrupted by one thing or another since my arrival. There is something I needed to tell you."_

"_Should I be worried?"_

"_This is probably the only time we'll have to talk about it and I didn't want to just throw it on you before disappearing."_

"_Ok…" She sat up in bed. "Now I'm worried. What is it? It sounds serious. You're not dying are you? Oh God! Are you sick?"_

"_Nothing like that Love. No worrying. It's good news." He assured her. "I received a promotion."_

"_Really?! Clyde that's amazing." She said and hugged him. "Congratulations. Tell me all about it." He did. He told her all about his fancy new office and all that came with it. "You're the big man on campus now." She teased._

"_Absolutely. But there's one more thing."_

"_Uh oh…"_

"_My first act in my new role is to hire someone to take over my team and run the London Gateway Office."_

"_Who do you have in mind?"_

"_I was given a list Darling. One with a few suggestions… You are on it."_

"_Me?"_

"_Yes, at the very top."_

"_Are you… Are you offering me a job?"_

"_I told my superior you'd say no. You have a life here and a family… Dare I say a love…"_

"_Clyde…"She cut him off._

"_But I owed it to you to at least present the opportunity. Because it is a rather big chance, a major career move…"_

"_It is." She agreed, but the thoughts weren't really registering. _

"_I brought this." He took a file out that she hadn't seen him bring in. "It contains all the details. It's a very good deal." And as much as he wanted her to take it, he wanted her to stay right where she was and figure out what happiness was too. She deserved that. "Very fair offering. Much more than I made in that position."_

"_It's because I'm just more fabulous than you Clyde. Its time you realized that." She didn't know where the joking came from when nothing really seemed to make it into her brain. _

"_I've always known that." He scooted his chair closer and planed his hand on her knee. "This is the career opportunity you have always hoped for and you deserve it more than anyone."_

"_But…?"_

"_But it is a major decision, one that you need to think through thoroughly."_

"_Of course." She studied his face. "You don't want me to take the job?"_

"_If you want to take it, I won't stop you. In fact, I'd love nothing more for you and Charlotte to come and stay with me, to live the English life and live normally… But you have a life here; one I'm not sure you've figured out yet."_

"_I can't tell if you want me to take it or are trying to keep me as far away from you as possible."_

"_Never. I'd never want that. You have no idea how happy I'd be to come home to you and Charlie after a long day at work; to be greeted by your smiling faces. Not live so far away from you… be there for you… But I can't help but think, should you take it, it'd only be because you were running away. You run, but you don't need to."_

"_I still can't tell what you want."_

"_I want you to take the job… I want you to be in London and drink a nice cup of tea with me in the evenings like we used to…"_

"_I believe it was less tea and more lots of booze with a morning tea chaser…"_

"_Good times Darling."_

"_They were great times."_

"_Em… I want you to take the job… But I want you to be happy more. Do what makes you happy, but really think about it. And know, if you do want to take it, you will have me there with you. We will make some arrangement work. You can stay with me as long as you'd like… forever if you wanted and I'd be your support every single day." He squeezed her hand. "If that's what you want, I will help you move, pack you up and travel with you. Build a life with you. We'd be like those people in those terribly American movies where good friends raise a kid together, however, wed do it completely platonically." Because he knew her heart belonged to Hotch._

"_Clyde…"_

"_No need to decide now."_

"_I don't think I'd be able to anyway." She stared at the file. "It's a big deal."_

"_I know. I contemplated bringing it up. My boss insisted. He said you showed great promise. I told him your life was here and a move was not likely. Still, here I am…"_

"_I… I appreciate this? I'm a little at a loss here Clyde."_

"_Listen to me Emily. I love you. And yes, I want you to take this job because it would mean being closer to you and being able to keep a better eye on my girls, but the fact of the matter is, it's your life and your decision." And they weren't just hid girls. They were __**his**__ too. "Do what's best for you and Charlie. I will support you no matter what. If it happens to be London, you know you have a home there whenever you want. If it's here, then you stay here and be happy and nothing will ever change between us. Just don't run. Figure out what it is you want."_

_All that and the only thing she could say was, "I love you too Clyde."_

"No… Well, I mean yes. There was a job offer."

"What's the job?"

"I'd be running the London office."

"London?! That's…"

"I know, very far away…"

"Emily!"

"I know…"

"Em…

"I know…"

"And you're really thinking about it?"

"I honestly don't know. Yes, I'm thinking about it. How could I not? It's an amazing opportunity. But I don't know."

"Do you really want it?"

"I don't know." Her friend's blue eyes looked sad and that was not what she wanted. "I have a life here. It's like having to choose between two families. I have Clyde, who offered me the world and even my mother in Europe… And here I have all of you."

"There's something else… I can see in your eyes. There's something that's making you consider it more. Something happened. What did Hotch do?" A spark of anger lit the last few words. I he did something that would make her friend flee, she was going to kick his ass.

"You see something in my eyes and it's automatically Hotch? That's… a big leap."

"No… I've seen that look before. You only get it when something happens with him."

"Good to know there's a tell; a very specific yet not at all identified one. What makes you think he has that much power over me?" He did, clearly, but she wanted to know what the blonde thought.

"Just tell me… Emily please…"

"He kissed me."

"What?! That's great." But the brunette's look told a different story. "Not great?"

"He's in a relationship JJ. Beth is his girlfriend. And he kissed me. In what world is that great?"

"But it means he feels the same about you that you do him…"

"That's not enough… It's just not enough."

Curiously, not getting the whole problem, JJ asked, "Isn't it what you want though?"

"Of course it is!" She responded quickly. "It's all I've wanted… for longer than I care to admit. But this isn't the first time he has done this. He likes to kiss me or… or sleep with me… and then we both… and I know it's not just him… I do it too… But we both choose not to talk about it. We ignore it and pretend it never happened so we can function. It's fine. It works for us. The problem is… He does it again. And he expects that to be ok…" A humorless laugh escaped her. "He makes me crazy… I just… He kisses me, we sleep together, we hang out… You'd think that means something… To me it did. He gets to me… What he does gets to me. It affects me. And I realized how I really felt… no more ignoring it… But then he practically spit in my face and told me it was nothing… Our signals were crossed he said." She vented, internalizing the scream she wanted to let out. "That wasn't his intention. Then what was?!" She huffed. "How can someone send out those signals and not mean to? I mean, is it me? Was I reading more into it? Or was it really there? It wasn't what he wanted. He said so. He's in a relationship. But he spent all his time with me… me and Charlie… I guess… I guess I should've seen it was just about her. And that's ok. It should've been, but it felt like him being with us," especially all those late night moments it was just the two of them, "felt about me too… I should've known better. I should've known better than to let him reel me in or allow myself to let him get to me."

"Ok Em. I'm going to stop you there." She was completely stunned by the sheer volume of words and feelings expressed from the brunette. It was so unlike her to just let it all out and even rant. "Do you realize what you're saying?"

"Of course I do… I'm the one saying it." JJ smiled, holding back the laugh she so wanted to let out. Oh Emily… sweet, blind Emily… "Why are you smiling? I'm ready to rip out my hair or cry on your shoulder until we're floating on your bed like it's a life raft and you're laughing!"

"I never realized how overdramatic you can be."

"I am not."

"You so are."

JJ laughed again. "Seriously, why is this so funny to you?"

"It's not. It's not funny."

"Then why are you laughing?"

"I'm not."

"Yeah, you really are." She pouted. She wouldn't laugh at her if roles were reversed.

"Can you just tell me everything? What happened?" Emily was reluctant. She wanted to know what the blonde found so funny first. "Please?"

"It was Father's Day. We all went out, like I told you. Charlie and Jack chose the International Spy Museum, so the four of us went there after Aaron came over for breakfast." JJ liked that she was getting some detail. "Jack spent the night so we could surprise him; you know… Make the day important and special for him and for Charlie too. It was their first one together where she had a dad and he had his son and a daughter. So we made it fun and memorable… for all of us. It was a lot of fun. It was… just so light and normal… We were like… it was like we were…"

"A family?" JJ finished.

"Yeah. The four of us were like a family. We went out for dinner after, which turned out to be ice cream and then dinner. The kids kind of suckered him into it. Really, Charlie pouted him into coercion. Honestly, she could've asked him for a car she couldn't drive for another ten years and he probably would've said yes… She started calling him Daddy…" They both smiled at that. "Anyway. The kids were tired and we were exhausted, plus it was a school night, so we brought Jack back to Haley's, and Hotch came home with Charlie and me." JJ watched with fascination. It was as if she was seeing Emily relive the memory, so deep in thought and whimsical. "He tucked Charlie in and we talked for a bit. Then he kissed me." And just like that it was over…

"No lead up? Nothing?"

"He was sitting next to me. We were talking."

"About?"

"Honestly…" She thought back. "Not a whole lot. I got us a drink, water nothing stronger." She felt that needed to be clear. It wasn't a drunken mistake of a kiss, it was a conscious decision. "And we briefly talked about the day, shared a joke or two and then he…"

"Kissed you?"

"No, not then. He said he had something he wanted to talk about."

"What was it?"

"I… I'm not sure?" She said, herself confused.

"You don't know?"

"No… He uh… he said maybe he should show me and kissed me…"

"Em…" JJ shook her head in frustration. She seriously wanted to slap some sense into the woman. Her friends were the most ridiculous pair ever! They were so made for each other but always set up roadblocks to keep them apart.

"And now you're angry. What did I do? Why?"

"Because you are so damn stubborn and blind."

It was hard not to be a little insulted by that. "And how's that?"

"I don't know what's going on with him and Beth. But, clearly it's not going well if he's kissing you."

"That doesn't make it better."

"You're right… It doesn't… You know Em… As strong as you are, you run when things get tough. You don't run away though, more run to the problem and from the people who could make it easier for you. It's like you make things harder than they have to be."

"I don't do that on purpose. I just try to protect everyone. I can't be the reason someone else gets hurt." She rather it be her.

"Shouldn't that be our choice? Maybe we're all willing to accept a little piece of the hurt so it all doesn't fall so hard on you."

Maybe she deserved to have it fall on her… "I suppose…"

"And did you ever think that that kiss was his way of telling you he was wrong and he wanted you to give him a shot?"

"No, because I don't live in a fantasy world."

"See, frustratingly stubborn!" JJ flopped down on the bed, one foot hanging off the side. A silence passed and then Emily gently fell back on the other side. The two just lived a whole conversation in their minds, processing some things that needed processing.

"Jayje…" She said staring up at the ceiling. "I'm going to France. Want to go to France?"

JJ laughed. "Yeah, let's go to France. I can see the Eiffel Tower right now. Look, right there in the corner. Isn't it beautiful?"

"Ok smart ass… I'm not kidding. Go to France with me."

"Excuse me?" Was this a weird run away from our lived type thing?

"I'm going to France. I've decided that Charlie and I are going to visit my mother. You should come. You always wanted to go… You should go."

"I can't just go. I have…"

"They're invited too. That was implied." She finished.

"Ok, but I don't think I can afford it."

"JJ." She turned her head. "Look, it's not all finalized. Though it's been a semi formulated plan for a while, there's some stuff that needs to be worked out. Like, I need to talk with Hotch about both work and Charlie. Guess I can't just pick her up and go anymore…" Well, that hit her like a ton of random bricks. "But, if you agree… I want you to come as my guests… on my tab."

"Em I couldn't accept…"

"Please… consider it a favor… It's my mom and I could use my friend."

"Em…"

"Please just think about it…"

There was a quiet before she spoke. "Garcia is going to be so jealous."

"I'll make it up to her." She laughed. "Does that mean you're in?"

"I have to talk to Will, but if we can work it out… How could I say no?" Exactly what Emily was thinking.

"Great." She smiled and sat up. "We have stand down next month. I was thinking that would be a good time to go." Though she wasn't sure how she was going to survive that long. "The kids are out of school by then and we can make arrangements."

"You know…" JJ sat up too. "You're going to have to talk to him…"

"Don't remind me." Emily pouted.

"Maybe you should hear him out." For the love of God, please! "You didn't even give him a chance."

"And I'm not sure I want to. I doubt Beth would appreciate me giving him one."

"Emily…" She chastised her with just the name. "You don't know the story. For all you know, she's not in the picture anymore."

The brunette sighed. "Even if she's not… He still chose her. I put my heart on the line and he chose her. Now he has to live with that." And so did she. She was barely surviving it. Why would she make herself all raw and exposed again?

"So you're punishing him…"

"No…"

"And you're punishing yourself."

"Jayje…" She wanted to roll her eyes, but couldn't bring herself to do it. "That's not what I'm doing."

"You are. Because I know he wants to make things right with you. And you've both made some pretty big mistakes in the past… Don't make another one… This doesn't have to be another one." She released Emily's hand and threw the pillow she was holding at her friend. "Think about it. I'm going to grab a drink."

"Sure…"

Think about it… All she did was think… Her mind was a cesspool of thoughts. But sure, why not add more to the pile? Nothing her busy mind couldn't handle. Right? What was one more thing?

The girls chatted more. Well, JJ did her not really lecturing, but totally lecturing thing and Emily listened. Eventually, though, it got late and the Prentiss girls went home. JJ was happy her friend was so open. And she didn't even have to beat it out of her! Emily willingly came to her. As frustrating as what she said turned out to be, she was so happy to hear it and have her friend seem so freed from that wall. A small hole was thrown through the stone like a bullet through glass. She could finally see inside even if just limitedly.

It was a massive stepping stone in their friendship. She was finally allowed to be the supportive rock at a time when it wasn't physically necessary. There was no hospital or life threatening injury; just two friends being friends and relying on one another. And apparently, taking a family trip to France together. Right, she wanted to do that. "Will?" She needed to discuss it with him first and she just hoped that while Emily was planning this trip, she wasn't also planning her move… London was too far away for her to live… JJ just wouldn't accept that as an option.

Emily wasn't so easily pacified. She felt better for talking about everything, but it was still weighing on her. She still had so much to work though. And talking about it wouldn't give her answers… Unless she talked to the right people. But she was avoiding them… him.

She dreaded the next day at work. She dreaded the lack of sleep she was going to get because of the mass rush of thoughts in her head. It didn't help that Charlie decided to kick and cling that night. Moving her back to her bed lasted all of ten minutes before the little soccer player came back to use her as a human shaped ball. The phone call with her mother left something to be desired. Their relationship was better, but the insecurities were still there. Intentional or not, her mother knew what to say to play on them and feed her hungered mind. And Clyde didn't answer. That wasn't new, but he was expecting her call, so it was worrisome.

The early morning call was even more so. "Prentiss." She answered sleepily. She had only just gotten to bed.

"It's Clyde darling."

"Clyde. Are you alright?"

"Brilliant."

"I know when you say that like that you're usually lying. And you know the time difference. You don't usually call when it's 4 am here. So what is it?"

"I'm sorry my call is such an inconvenience."

"You know that's not what I said. And you know when you do that it's your way of deflecting. Tell me what's going on."

"You seem to know so much, I might as well hang up and let you have this conversation alone."

"Clyde."

"There was an incident."

"What kind of incident?"

"Reminded me a bit of our time in Venezuela."

"There was an explosion?! Are you ok? Is anyone hurt?"

"Just minor injuries on my part." He sighed. "Had to pull my mate from the rubble."

"Like you had to with me…"

"It reminded me of you. I needed to check in."

"I'm glad you called. You know I'm here for you too. But I'm ok. We're not there anymore. We caught that guy and we made it out of there alright. But are you? How's the other guy doing?"

"I'm fine. And if I remember correctly, you broke your foot and were a pain in the ass for weeks."

"Yeah, yeah… Are you both ok?"

"I am. He's in surgery. Something about internal bleeding."

"I'm sorry Clyde. That has to be hard for you." For such a hard ass and gruff kind of man, he was actually quite the softy at times. "Are you close with him?"

"He's a friend."

"Talk to me Clyde." She knew that, as they have shared many calls like this over the years after a bad case, he just needed to let it out and say what was on his mind. And she wanted to do that. She could spare some sleep hours for that.

So she listened and she supported him like he usually did her. It made her forget, temporarily, her issues. Once he was calm, she spoke with him about why she first called him. What she had to say made him happy. That made her happy too. And she was eased enough to sleep again. She set the alarm back to give herself an extra thirty and fell asleep. Unfortunately, that extra time was nowhere near enough and came way to fast.

The alarm flew across the room as she went to smack it, forcing her out of bed. So much for snoozing. She really didn't have time for it anyway. The little bit of time she set aside for sleep did little for her but set her back with everything else. So she rushed to dress and ready. There was no time for a real breakfast, not for her anyway, but always for Charlie. She pulled out a fresh muffin and threw together some eggs and fruit, setting it on the table before waking her daughter. She too was behind schedule and moving slow.

It was just going to turn into that kind of day; the lagging, behind schedule, never ending kind of day.

"Sweetie, can you please finish up so you can go get dressed and brush your teeth?"

"I'm still eating."

"I know. You're taking awfully long today."

"Is daddy going to call?"

"I don't know. Maybe, if you finish up and get ready, we will have time to try calling him."

"Alright." She put a giant bite of muffin in her mouth.

"Careful there."

"Done!" Well, that was one way to get that finished. "Be right back mommy!"

Running, Charlie nearly slipped on the stairs terrifying her mother. "She's going to be the death of me." Making sure the girl was alright, she sent her the rest of the way and returned to the kitchen for coffee; much, much needed coffee.

That didn't go as planned either. A shrill boom distracted her as she was pouring and in her haste to check around her, she knocked over the cup. Its contents spilled all over, including on her. "Shit! Mother Fu-"

"Oh, mommy said a bad word!"

"Charlie… Don't start…" Check the attitude… She didn't do anything. Sighing, she collected herself and said, "I'm sorry. Mommy didn't mean to swear. What was that noise?"

"I dropped my backpack down the stairs. It rolled down like a slinky!" She said with a toothy grin.

"Please be more careful."

"But it was cool."

"Next time use an actual slinky."

"It's broken."

"Ok." Can slinkies even break? "We can get a new one."

With a sense of excitement, she asked, "Now?"

"No. Now is school. Get your shoes." Ignoring the stinging burn of the coffee on her skin, Emily quickly wiped up what she could, grabbed Charlie's lunchbox, slipped it in her back pack, grabbed her own bag, and waited by the door. There was no time to change without both of them being late. She'd have to take from her go bag once she got to the office. Until then, a coat on the rather warm day would have to cover it up. It was freaking June and she was wearing a jacket.

Only one more week of the school drop offs though, so at least there was that. She'd get a few extra minutes of sleep then… maybe. There was time to ponder that later. She had to get through the day without incidence first.

"Whoa there Princess." Morgan threw everyone's attention to her, "You look like crap and I beat you here. That never happens."

"Rough morning." She said gruffly as she pulled off her coat.

"You weren't kidding. Here." He grabbed a go cup from his desk. "You can definitely use this."

"You are my new best friend forever. A God among men. I love you Derek Morgan." Coffee! Oh she wanted it, craved it… needed it. "Oh I could so kiss you right now." Smiling, she gratefully took the cup. "Thank you."

"No problem Princess. I got your back."

"What happened to you?" JJ asked as she walked in.

"Ugh, coffee…" Was the answer she gave. "I should change."

"And make it quick." She pointed to boss' office. "Looks like we're about to get a case." Wonderful…

"Damn. I better do this then." She was about to rush off and change, but her boss' commanding voice kept her from it.

"Briefing room. Now."

"Crap!" She hissed. JJ just gave her a sympathetic look and followed them to the room.

"What happened to you?" Hotch asked as the annoyed agent entered.

"Not now." She hissed. His clear concern did little for her but irritate her further. It was kind and sweet and she, for some crazy delusional reason, found it condescending.

"Ok…" Brows were furrowed and looking at her before he cleared his throat and drew the attention of the group back to him. "Tell us what you have Garcia." He started, handing the reigns over to the analyst.

"Men are being murdered… gruesomely…"

As the briefing finished up, Hotch dismissed them. "Grab your go bags, make your calls, and meet at the jet in an hour. We're headed to Wisconsin."

The cacophony of chairs moving sounded through the room as everyone but two agents left the room. Emily still sat there, pulling her stiff and stained shirt from her body. Wearing it was uncomfortable. "Want to tell me what happened?"

"Not really." She hissed.

Ok… He understood she was upset with him and clearly having a rough day. In all honesty, he got why she wasn't thrilled with the kiss. But he also wished she gave him the chance to explain. "It was nice talking to Charlie this morning."

"Yeah… She wanted to talk to you." That made him happy. Only one thing would've made him happier.

"I would've liked to talk to you too."

"Well, we're talking right now."

"You know that's not what I mean Emily."

"Yeah… I know. And, actually, there are some things I need to talk to you about too. But not here and now. We have a case and we agreed a long time ago that we can't let the personal get in the way of the professional." And what she had to say would blur the lines.

"Ok." He sighed. He just wanted her to hear him out and he wanted to hear what she had to say. "We'll talk when we get back then. It's important Emily. You can't put it off."

"What I have to say is important too. I won't put it off." It was time sensitive.

"You should go get changed."

"Thanks."

"And Em?"

"Yeah?"

"I didn't want to hurt you. I'm sorry if I did." He couldn't leave well enough alone…

Emily simply nodded and walked out. She didn't need more on her mind as they were about to jet off for a case. Maybe he didn't mean it, but he was hurting her. Every pull at her heart, every touch of her emotions, everything he did hurt because, sweet or not, she knew it was unattainable. She felt toyed with like a bone being dangled before a dog but just out of reach.

Sitting in the ladies room, she angrily scrubbed at her top. She sat on the counter next to the sink, her phone ringing in her ear as she waited for an answer. Sarah finally picked up as her hands worked so hard she nearly tore the fabric. "We've got a case. I need you to stay with Charlie." She stated. Sarah made no issue of it, happy to do her job. "I'll call tonight. Tell her I love her."

"I will."

As the minutes passed, she remained there until JJ went looking for her. "There you are!" JJ exclaimed. "I was looking everywhere for you. When I saw your car still down there I got worried."

"Nothing to worry about. Here I am."

"You're in a mood today."

"It's been quite a morning." And night. "I'm tired." Lack of sleep does that.

"I can tell. Did something happen?"

"No." She managed to just say coherently as she yawned. "Well, yes and no. Nothing happened. I'm fine." Mostly… definitely physically… "Phone call with Clyde. He was having a rough time."

"And you decided to take over the burden." She joked.

"Yes. I thought it was about time I did. Took the scalding coffee to the body just for him."

"What a friend!"

"I know. I'm awesome." She didn't even have it on her to add any enthusiasm to it. Instead, it was stale and lackluster.

"I don't think you're going to salvage this in here. A drycleaner might be able to get it out though."

"Yeah."

"Want to talk about it?"

"About what?"

"About what else kept you up last night? About what happened with Clyde? About everything that's on your mind?"

"We already had that talk."

"Maybe we need to revisit it."

"Maybe, but right now." She looked to her watch. "We're supposed to be halfway to the airstrip."

"Yeah, we are. Drive with me?" Not only did she want to talk with her friend, but she didn't trust her to drive in that state. She really looked like if she sat still long enough, she'd pass out. And sure enough, that was what she did as soon as they got in the car, so JJ was grateful Emily didn't put up a fight. "Em, wake up. We're here."

"Hmmm…"

"Oh Em. As adorable as you are right now, we're already late."

"I'm awake. I'm up, just waiting for you to turn off the engine."

They offered their apologies as they boarded the jet. Everyone else was already there just waiting for them so they could take off. It didn't take long for them to settle and lift off to commence. With a pitcher of caffeine in her, Emily was alert enough to make it through the case review. It was another sick one. But then, she asked herself, weren't they all?

They got lucky with an early lead. Just a few short hours after touching down, a new murder presented them with a clue. A woman was killing the men; torturing them and dismembering them. And Hotch was her type. So was Rossi… But the younger was better bait. He was more age appropriate, so they were sending him in the next day.

Him going undercover left her on edge. If anything happened… She'd have to explain that to their daughter. She'd have to feel something herself… She was feeling something either way. It wasn't like it was particularly dangerous. He'd simply be going into a law firm pretending to be a potential client looking for a divorce attorney… Nothing too horrible. And they'd all be around just in case, though the UnSub, Sally Meyers, wasn't likely to strike during the day, in the middle of her office…

But, it was the remote possibility that something could go wrong that had her stomach in knots. There was something he wanted to say to her. There was something she assumed she needed to hear and was just too afraid to be hurt again to actually listen. If something went wrong, she'd never know what it was. And it would be her fault. It would have so many implications, serious or minor, she knew any injury to either him or herself would hurt their daughter. Even months after Doyle, she was still worrying.

Their job was doing that to her…

Yet another thing to weigh on her…

No one else seemed to be remotely affected by it which led her to believe there was more to it than the facts she'd been giving herself. She was worried more than just because he could get hurt, more than because he was a friend and colleague, more than that he fathered Charlie, but because she was hurting and pushed him away and wanted so badly to let him back in.

She just didn't know how.

Thankfully, though, she'd have time to figure it out. It went seamlessly. He put himself out there, fit her bill to a T. Sally Meyers couldn't resist the perfect victim. He was just what she was looking for. They found the tracking device she put on all her victims and waited for her to come to them. He was held up in a faux apartment as the team sat outside keeping a look out. They knew she'd come, it was just a matter of when.

They got her as she made her approach and took her straight into interrogation before she even came within ten feet of their man. It was a weight lifted. The case was closed and they didn't even have to stay long. They had her singing like a canary and in her cell and to the hotel they went. Their jet needed refueling and they needed rest, so they were staying for the night, deciding to leave around noon the next day.

Somehow, in the wee hours of the night as they parked their butts on the bed and settled in for a movie, the girls ended up talking relationships. It was a topic on the brunette's mind. Emily envied JJ and Will. They had their problems. Most couples did. And they might not be a forever couple, but, at least in the present, they were happy. They co-parented and lived together happily. Sure, the spark might not still be there; they were past the honeymoon phase, but the love was there and the normalcy of it all made them happy and comfortable. Emily couldn't help but want her own version of that. But, reflecting on her past romances, she wasn't sure she'd ever end up with that.

"JJ?"

"Yeah Em?"

"Is it as sad as it seems that my most functional relationship was with a terrorist… as someone else…?" Someone that wasn't her in any other way but the physical aspect. Then again, maybe they had more in common that she thought. Both the real Emily and the Lauren act were strong women on a mission. They left a path of lies and destruction where ever they when and lived a very different kind of life. They were dysfunctional at best. Maybe they weren't so different. Maybe neither of them truly felt they deserved forgiveness and love…

JJ reached her hand over and grabbed Emily's. "It's extremely sad." She wasn't going to lie. There was a reason Emily was asking. She knew the truth. "Heartbreaking." She stated. "But it won't always be."

"Yeah…" The thoughts lingered between them. It felt extremely heavy in there. "Well, at least any future relationship has to end better right? I mean, how many people can really want to kill me?" It was a joke, but it wasn't funny. In their line of work… That number could be endless. And her deflecting humor… not good for them.

"Can I ask you something?"

"I think you just did."

"You know what I mean."

"Me saying no, never stopped you before."

"Do you think about him? Was being undercover… Was that real?"

"I don't know how to explain it. You know… It's kind of crazy because I was Lauren, but I wasn't. I like to say it was Lauren that felt those things… those feelings, but it was me. I lost myself completely for years. I had no one really; no one to be me with. Tsia and Clyde were in contact with me… but it was scarce. He was my constant. I knew he was always there. My job was to get close to him in any way possible. But it didn't feel like a job. It felt real. He was the connection I needed. I was a paid whore."

"Emily." She didn't like her talking about herself like that. It was not ok.

"It's the truth Jayje. I spent a lot of time ignoring the realities and that only fueled the fire. It made me do a lot of stupid things. My country paid me to get close to him and if it meant sleeping with him, well… there was money being exchanged. That's what a prostitute does right?"

"But Em… That's such a cold way of thinking about things… And it…"

"It makes me look bad?"

"I wasn't going to…"

Emily shook her head as if to let her friend know it was alright. The disgusted look on the blonde's face had less to do with her than it did the way she was speaking, and she knew that. "I know it does. But, I'm a different person now. I'm a different person than I was before then. That time of my life changed me. But I wouldn't change that time because, ultimately, that's what led me to Charlie. And there is no life without her."

"Doyle was so many things… And he still haunts you."

"Yeah, it's true. He does, and I think about him sometimes… And it makes me see myself where I've beena nd who I've become… But I also see that he was also my only long lasting relationship."

"Was it really a good one though?"

"If you can get past the lies we both told each other… At least, when it came to me, he was a good guy… He had a temper and sometimes it didn't go well for me, but it… It was… It was a relationship… Of course he ended up in prison planning his revenge and I got knocked up by my future boss and teenage fancy."

"You have a real way with words."

"It's a gift." She teased, giving a sense of lightheartedness she wasn't really feeling.

How did they get onto this topic? "I wish I knew you then."

"No you don't… I was a mess. I lived in isolation even after I came in from the cold. My head was… I couldn't begin to explain it… My worst day now is still better than a good day then." Emily turned on her side to face JJ. "I wish I knew you though. You would've been a great influence on me… I probably would've corrupted you like many a young mind I have before… But I would've been better for having you in my life then, like now…"

"That's… Thank you…" JJ smiled. "Well, I still wish I knew you before then. Before Lauren…"

"I wasn't that great then either. Just ask Hotch."

"I think he'd agree you were pretty great. He must've seen something in you." Still does…

"Hmm… I guess…"

"Can I assume from the way you that you were with him when we left that you still haven't tried to talk to him?"

"When would I have done that?"

"I'm sure you could've found some time."

"No, I couldn't. Work is separate from personal. On a case is not the right time to have the kind of conversation you're thinking about. I needed a little time to think things through."

"And?"

"And I still don't know anything."

"Do you want to hear what he has to say?"

"Yes… and no…"

"Why no?"

"I don't want to be hurt again… More importantly, I don't want to hurt anyone again. I caused enough damage with him and with my daughter. I don't think I can live with myself if I cause more."

"Em… You both did your fair share of hurting, but if you don't at least hear what he has to say, you're only hurting yourself… and maybe you're still hurting him too."

"What are you saying?"

"Maybe you owe it to yourself to just hear him out. Maybe it's good, maybe it's not… But wondering isn't helping either."

"Maybe not. Enough about me though. How are things with you and Will?"

"We're doing ok."

"Just ok?"

"Yeah…" Though most of their conversations outside of work gossip and frivolity revolved around their kids or consisted of feelings, and usually involved JJ having to work extra hard to get Emily to open up, JJ was never shy about sharing with Emily. It was something she loved about her blonde friend. And she and her live in beau were at that seven year itch stage. They were in a rut. They were close and they loved each other, but JJ had to question… if she hadn't been willing to accept his proposals after years together, would she ever? Was there a reason? Will was a good guy, but they were forced together after Henry and, there were no regrets, but maybe that wasn't what they wanted; wasn't where they would've ended up without him. But, at the same time, they were happy with what they had. Why ruin it? JJ thought to herself that she was doing the same thing Emily was. The brunette was avoiding what could be, and so was she. She loved Will, but was she in love with him? "We talked it over and we decided travelling could be good for us, even if it's not just a couple's thing. It will give us some time with each other and time to get out of our routine." Spice things up.

"I'll make you a deal… I was going to talk to Hotch about this before, but the case got in the way…"

"I'm listening."

And they talked. A plan was finalized. "You have yourself a deal Ms. Prentiss. Let me know what he says when you talk to him."

"Will do." Emily was going to get to do what she needed to do and JJ and Will would get a little alone time to rekindle their fire. "In the meantime, I'm off to bed. Night Jayje."

"Night Em."

It wasn't exactly a restful night for Emily, but it was better than the previous one. The team met for breakfast late the next morning. "Almost ready to go?" JJ asked through the bathroom door.

"Why don't you go ahead? I have a call to make and I'll meet you down there. Tell everyone no need to wait for me."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I'll be there soon."

"Ok, I'll order some coffee for you."

"I knew you were my best friend for a reason."

Dressed and ready to go, Emily paused and pulled out her phone. "Morning Emily." She was greeted.

"Afternoon mother."

"To what do I owe a phone call? Is everything alright?"

"Yes, everything is just fine. We're about to get on the jet and I wanted to run something by you before it got too late."

"Well, what is it dear? Please don't tell me you've changed your mind about visiting. Skype calls and long distance just isn't the same as the real thing."

"No, no changing my mind." She resisted the natural urge to be snarky and tell her she could come visit any time too. "But that is what I wanted to talk about."

"Ok."

"I would like to bring some people with me. I've seen your housing, it's surely big enough. I just wanted to make sure you were ok with them staying with us or I will make arrangements for other lodging."

"Of course you can bring people Emily. Is it a boyfriend? Charlie's father perhaps? I would like to meet him at some point…"

_Oh mother…_ "And at some point, you will. Just, not this trip. No, you remember Jennifer don't you?"

"Ah yes, your good friend."

"I've invited her and her family."

"Wonderful. They have a child around Charlie's age if I remember correctly. You'll both have a playmate."

"That's the plan."

"I have no problem with them staying at the house. There's plenty of room for everyone."

"Great. Thanks mom."

"Also room if you want to bring any male suitor too."

"Mother, please…"

"Ok… Tell me something Emily. Is he ok with you taking her out of country?"

"I suppose he'll have to be."

"Emily… that's no way to keep the peace."

"What you mean is that that's not very political of me… I know. I don't think he'll have a problem with it, but I will be speaking to him soon." He might not have a problem with a short visit with her mother, but taking Charlie and moving to London… She saw him having big qualms about that.

"Do it please. I'd hate not to see you because you couldn't work this out in time."

"Mother…" She was again reminded that they were still them and they would always have these things that just annoyed each other. "We'll be there alright?"

"Ok. Please call my assistant with the head count and details when they are finalized. We can get an itinerary set and I'll arrange transportation for you and your guests."

"Yes mother."

"And please, keep that hostile tone to a minimum. You know I abhor it.'

"I know mother. I apologize. We'll talk soon. I have to go."

"I love you Emily."

"Love you too mom."

Sighing, Emily put the phone away and met with the team. It was surprisingly jovial for such a gruesome case, but they all had their ways for putting the ugly behind them. Being together was one of them. It wasn't forced or awkward, though, she seemed to be stealing one too many glances in her superior's direction, and the same could be said about him.

Breakfast was coming to a close though, and it was time to head home. Their stolen glances would have to wait for another time; like on the jet. They were much stealthier there, but they managed to catch each other's gaze for the first time. They knew the other was looking and it was slightly unnerving. They both knew there was much to be said and they wanted to say it.

Emily wanted to give into the feelings. She wanted to let the flame she desperately fought to put out ignite once more, but she couldn't allow herself to do it. She couldn't hurt or be hurt again. But that kiss… looking into his eyes, something she had been avoiding… it all resonated within her. And damn him for toying with her. He was a taken man. He shouldn't have even been batting a lash in her direction. All it got her was confusion. The one kiss broke down wall after wall inside her that were previously impenetrable, and now just lay a path of destruction like the after picture of a war zone… pure chaos.

For him, it was a different kind of war zone. He was on the offensive and the defensive. He made the first strike with an opponent who was on his side… some friendly fire to kick off the battle. Only, he saw it as an act of peace. He saw it as an addendum to the treaty they were agreed upon. He never saw it as the missile it turned out to be. Sometimes, taking that show not tell approach was so not the right choice. That was why it wasn't his go to. He was the articulate kind, an ex-lawyer… Explaining things and arguing things was what he could and did do. Yet, when it came to her, that seemed to be the only thing he could never do right. Well, it wasn't the only thing, but it certainly topped the list.

Did he screw things up? He hoped not. The moment wasn't planned. He planned on saying nothing, just enjoying Father's Day with his kids, and, by extension, her. But the feelings were released once he was free of Beth. Those emotions he bottled to make his relationship with her work just all came at him at once. Beth was great, but she wasn't Emily. He couldn't just have any brunette to fill in for the other. It wasn't the same. And what he felt for the brown eyed profiler could never compare. Even he didn't know how deep it went until he allowed himself to finally feel.

Once it was out, though, there was no containing it. His plan had been to talk to her, to tell her that he heard what she said, he broke up with Beth, and he was done sending mixed signals. He knew what he wanted and it was her. It was a good speech. But in the moment, emotions running high, euphoria of the day sending him higher, the only thing that felt right was showing her what he wanted.

Clearly, that wasn't the right choice. Honestly, he wasn't sure what he was thinking anymore. In some ways, he understood her reaction, and, in others, he couldn't understand it at all. She was brave enough to tell him how she felt, maybe that was braver than just doing…

Then it hit him. He rejected her. She asked for space… And then he went and did that… She thought it was another one of his mixed signals.

Idiot! He was an idiot. No wonder she was so up in arms about it. It wasn't her rejecting him. It was her protecting herself… from him. Him and his stupid idiocy.

"Hotch… Yo Boss Man, you with us?"

"What?"

"We're here. We can get off now?"

"Oh, ok."

"What were you doing? Sleeping with your eyes open?" Maybe metaphorically.

"You could say that."

"Weird."

"I know. Go and head out Morgan. Let the team know we'll meet up 9 o'clock sharp on Monday."

"What about you?"

"I'll be out in a minute."

"Alright. Later Hotch." Morgan took one last look at his colleague before getting off the plane.

Hotch took a moment to himself. Lost in thought for so long, he missed half the flight. He even missed when Emily came back aboard the plane. "Emily?"

"Geez!" She jumped. "I didn't even see you there. What are you still doing on the plane? Everyone else already left."

"What are _you_ doing back?"

She reached down into the seat cushion and pulled something up. "Lost my phone. This was the last place I had it." Debating whether to stay or go, Emily chose to sit. "So, want to tell me what's on your mind?"

"Why does there have to be something on my mind?"

"Come on Hotch… Aaron. For most of the plane ride we were playing musical gaze trying not to catch each other, and then you just spaced out. And here you are, still on the plane just sitting here, alone… thinking or whatever. I can only assume there's something on your mind… Maybe something you want to say."

"There's a lot I want to say Emily, but I can't say it until I know you'll hear me."

"I can hear you just fine. Now seems like a good time to tell me."

"I guess it does. But, we should probably get off the jet first."

"Ok, we can do that." Emily stood and held out a hand for him. "I uh… I could use a ride. I drove here with JJ. I was going to take a cab, but it we're going to the same place…"

"I'd be happy to drive you."

"Thanks."

The two left the plane together before heading to the car. The ride was silent, but it gave them both some final time to think. And it did give clarity.

For all the mistakes she made, he made them too and for all of his, she had her own. They were both just human, doing their best not to screw it all up too bad.

Sometimes, it just didn't work out.

And sometimes it had a great amount of potential that lay dormant as the idiots figured things out…

It was uncertain in which category they'd fall. Would they let love squander away or would they realize just what they could have?

Someone had to make the first move out of their stalemate, though. So, the two face to face, standing in the nearly empty parking lot in Quantico, Emily uttered, "I have something to say. You have something to say. Let's talk."

"My office?"

"It's a date."

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**

**bellairmenna I lie when things make people go "aww" because it makes me go "aww" too. It was a very cute moment. I felt all giddy writing it because, well, even as the creator of this AU world, I don't feel in control of the characters so when things like Charlie calling him daddy happen, I'm excited too. And you weren't the only one screaming with joy because the bitch was gone. Thanks or reading and letting me know what you think.**

**blackstarsing Head out of ass. Lol Yes, that was accomplished. We're working on Emily (me and Hotch and JJ) we're in cahoots to make that happen. She's a stubborn woman you know. It takes some doing. Glad you liked the chapter. Enjoy the next.**

**renruta Aww, glad you're all caught up and enjoying the story. Thanks, I did well on midterms and finals are over too so hopefully that means better updating until summer courses start. And it makes me really hppy to know you find this realistic. I try. Hope you like this chapter too. **

**SouthunLady Thanks girl. Glad it wasn't too cheesy. The daddy thing was my favorite thing, one of may favorites to write. Hotch has been a bit whimpy, but we talked about it. It leads to something, I promise. (something good) You shall see my friend. You shall see and you will enjoy. Lol Bitch be gone, now let the chasing begin… hehe**

**Detective Rumskey Thanks so much. Realism is something I aim for so glad it's working out. Enjoy the next one.**

**Lktwh13 People love to hate Haley, but I didn't want that. Sometimes people just don't work out and it's not because of one or the other or that they don't love each other, but because they just don't fit anymore. That's what I wanted with them so they have almost a Clyde and Emily friendship (to a lesser degree).**

**123a456e Fluffiness and fun right? Not all the time, but a nice in between calm isn't it? Let's see how long that lasts.**

**EverythingSunny Thank you! I appreciate it. Enjoy the next update. **

**emilyhotchner-and-olicityfan She is gone! And the friends are working on getting them together. Ain't it cute? Lol Protective Hotch is a 10 on the hotness scale, agreed. Seems like ou really liked that chapter. I'm glad. Still so much to come. Enjoy.**

**Tanyaleefr It will have to come to an end at some point. But, fear not, there's stil such a way to go. So enjoy the ride and thanks for taking the time to let me know what you think.**

**rmpcmfan She did jump the gun. I think this chapter explains why a bit. There's some insecurity and fear there and sometimes that gets in the way of seeing what's there. It happens. It'll get better though. Enjoy**

**inheritancedrottningu I can surprise you all from time to time by not taking forever to update. Lol Anyway, enjoy this one, hopefully I can surprise you again with a quick update.**

**HPforever-after He is single! Emily is a very smart woman, but she's afraid of getting hurt too. What woman isn't? But she'll get there… probably…**


	37. A Talk or Two

_I do not own Criminal Minds, only the characters I have created in that world._

**So, this chapter, I think will create a love-hate reaction. It's both closer to what we all want and not at all there. I debated which way to take it. Wrote it one way, then another, and then decided to go with the original idea so that the stuff I wrote earlier (for a later chapter) will make sense and be as powerful as I feel it to be. **

**Just remember there will be a major pay off in the end whether there's this grand talk or not… Just… don't shoot me after reading this and there will be gratification…**

**Also, this chapter is barely edited by me. There will be mistakes. I'm human. **

Chapter 37: A Talk or Two

"I have something to say. You have something to say. Let's talk."

"My office?"

"It's a date." She nodded.

After throwing her go bag into her car, Emily met Hotch in his office. It seemed as if their stalemate was meant to continue in silence. Hotch was being weary, unready to make the first move and scare her off again. And Emily was trying to collect her thoughts without sounding demanding and harsh.

"Charlie know we're home?" Hotch asked.

"No, I called Sarah and told her we arrived but asked her not to tell Charlie yet because I had some things to take care of before I got home."

"I see." He didn't know where to start. He knew he had to, knew mostly what he wanted to say, he just wasn't sure where the beginning started, where the middle began, and where the end even happened.

"Let's cut to the chase." Emily fidgeted, but held firm. "I want to and I'm ready to hear what you have to say…." She had no idea how ready he was to hear what she had to say and say all that he had to express. The moments that lead them there weren't all that different for him. Where she had JJ, he had the all-knowing Rossi to guide him.

"_Aaron, if you stare at her any more, she's going to say something. She might think you've gone crazy." It wouldn't be the first time one of the Prentiss girls drove him there. _

"_I'm not staring."_

"_Are you kidding? You can't even try to deny that. Every time I so much as look in your direction, your eyes are right on her. Glued on her like a kid with candy."_

"_I'm not staring at her, just… observing." He tried to explain. _

"_Why do we always have to do this song and dance? Just tell me what's going on. Please don't make me ask."_

"_It's a possibility… I may have screwed things up with Emily." He conceded. _

"_How much of a possibility? I swear, the two of you should be labeled chronic fools."_

"_That's great Rossi. Thank you or your help."_

"_I'm tired of pussyfooting around the obvious here Aaron. The two of you are so compatible for one another it's almost sickening. If any two team members were meant to break the fraternization rules, it's the two of you. You guys already have a kid together, what's so bad about taking that step? What would it take to knock some sense into the both of you?"_

"_Rossi I…"_

"_Aaron, come on. I want you both to be happy and I don't want our team dynamics to change. But you have to see that there's something there that can't be ignored or placated by being with another woman."_

"_You're right…" He agreed. "Which is what I wanted to tell her."_

"_What?" Rossi wasn't expecting that. He was ready to give another impromptu talking to. _

"_Yeah…" He was proud to bring the older man to silence. It was a feat indeed. "We spent Sunday together with the kids and at the end of the night, I planned on telling her I wanted to give us a shot."_

"_Interesting… And what about Beth? What does she have to say about that?" Bases needed to be covered. _

"_I'm going to assume, not much. We broke up."_

"_For Emily?" Rossi wanted to smile, but kept it to himself. Inside, though, he was screaming, "Finally!"_

"_No…" Oh, who was he kidding? "We weren't working. She was… Great, but she…"_

"_Wasn't the woman you wanted? Not the right woman for you?"_

"_Exactly."_

"_So you broke up with her huh?"_

"_Yeah. It was time. She was getting possessive and inserting herself in my life with my kids. I was holding onto her to avoid what I really needed to, but wasn't ready to, face."_

"_I'm proud of you for realizing that. So then what went wrong with Emily?"_

"_She… Didn't react well."_

"_Do I need to talk some sense into her now? I swear there's something wrong with the lot of you." _

"_I was caught up in a moment." He explained. She jumped the gun, but he pulled the trigger. _

"_Tends to happen often when it comes to her." He thought aloud._

"_I know. So… I kissed her… instead of telling her I broke up with Beth and I wanted to build a relationship with her that went beyond colleagues or friends or co-parents." He explained. "We'd still be all of that, but we could be more."_

_Patting his shoulder, Rossi said, "Good for you." He was thrilled by that. It meant the whispers in the ears and the subtle suggestions worked and the rest was in their hands. He and JJ were free of the job, well that part of it anyway. And then, he recalled what he said. "She didn't react too kindly to it?"_

"_Not really, no."_

_Oh Emily… "What did she do?"_

_He laughed humorlessly and shook his head. "It was like I was poison and she just realized she took a bite of the toxic fruit."_

"_That bad?"_

"_Yeah, that bad. It went well at first… really well, but then she snapped. She pushed me away and started freaking out .I couldn't get a word in edgewise to even attempt to explain. Eventually she told me I needed to go and locked me out of her house."_

"_That sounds like our stubborn girl. Take her off guard and she pushes it all away. Her compartmentalization is as big a curse as it is a gift… For both of you."_

"_I'm not the one locking things away!"_

"_Anymore." Rossi corrected. "She still is. She has to."_

"_Why? Why does she have to?" He asked, genuinely concerned and curious._

"_Emily's… She's a complicated one."_

"_Don't I know it…"_

"_She… Look at her parents. Look how she grew up and all she has been through. There was a lot of hurt in her life. There were many times she was told to shove it away and keep it private. Now that's all she knows. Very few people have earned the right to see all of Emily, especially the vulnerable side. And once she lets you see it and you hurt her, things get harder. Like it or not, you have hurt her… yet, you share more with her than anyone ever has. Maybe you should think about that. She hurt you. But you hurt her too, maybe more than anyone else. So she's reluctant, and she jumps at the slightest movement to protect herself from perceived danger. See things from her perspective and you'll see how to broach things again… Should that be what you want." Hotch looked like it all sunk in. Rossi was right. He hurt her too and that made her more reluctant to let him in again. He just couldn't be ok with that. "You'll figure it out kid." Rossi offered one last pat on the younger man's shoulder. "In time, you will." He said before walking away. He had work to do that he was actually paid for that came with problems he might actually solve. . _

"I want to and I'm ready to hear what you have to say…." She started. "But I need to talk first."

"Ok." He agreed. That gave him more time to really think about how to make her listen.

"First, let's start with the easy stuff… We have annual furlough coming up."

"I know."

"I'd like your permission to take Charlie to visit my mother in France that second week."

"You… you want to take her to Europe?"

"My mother would like to see us… and, god help me, I actually would like to see her too. We're reconnecting."

"That's great… for you…I'm happy for you… But… I won't be able to see her for a week… You'll be across an ocean. What if something happens?"

"If something happens, and that's a big if, we will deal with it. I will deal with it like I have all her life." She said a little defensively. "We can set up a call schedule and do video chats. It's just a week."

"A week is a long time."

"It is, but we need this. I need this."

"I don't really feel like I have a choice here."

"You have a choice. You always do…"

"I don't want you to think I'm doubting your ability to care for her." Because he could see in her eyes that she felt attacked and that wasn't his purpose at all. "I just… We've fallen into a routine. It's hard to break. It'll be hard not to call or see her whenever."

She smiled. "It's a week Aaron… And I actually wanted to know if you had plans the week before that, the first week off…"

He shook his head. "I was just planning on spending time with the kids."

"Well, what about taking Charlie for the week?"

"The whole week?"

"Yes."

"That would be great. I'd love that."

"You can get her that whole week to make up for the week she'll be in France with me."

"I'll take what I can get." He agreed, telling her that it would work for him as long as they set up a schedule for calls and whatnot.

"Now that that's settled, her dance recital's that Saturday…"

"I didn't know that." His brow furrowed. He should've known that. She talked about her dancing all the time. "Why didn't I know that?"

"Because I'm telling you now?" She scrunched her face in an apologetic way. "I'm sorry. It's a little late notice, I know…I'm not used to this… Sharing dates and details… So I forgot to mention it… But, I did get a bunch of tickets for us and Charlie wanted to ask if Jack and the team could come. I don't know how much fun he'd have there, but at least the option's open. We have a tradition. We always dress up and go to that fancy restaurant across the street. She thinks the makeup makes her a grown up so we have to go to a grown up place. I made a reservation for four if you and Jack want to join us."

"I'd like that. I have to check my schedule with Jack or talk with Haley, but I will definitely be there."

"Good. That will make her happy." It would make him happy too, and her; all of them. "Then, after dinner, she can go home with you."

"You sure? I'm not complaining, but don't you want her until Monday?"

"Well…" She started tentatively. "I'll be in Europe by then."

"What?"

"I thought I'd go early, do some travelling on my own."

"And what about Charlie?"

"If you didn't want to take her, I either wouldn't go or I'd take her too."

"And how is she getting to France if you're already there?"

"The plan, as long as you agree," because she didn't want to fight with him, "is that she flies out with JJ, Will, and Henry. But if that makes you uncomfortable, I will make arrangements to come back here to fly with them."

"JJ's going?"

"Yeah, they'll be staying with us at my mother's place."

He sighed. "It really doesn't make sense for you to fly back… It's fine if she flies with JJ. I'm not exactly thrilled that Charlie's going to be so far away from me… but I appreciate that you're including me in this and asking me about my feelings." He heard Rossi in his ear reminding him to see things her way. She was making an effort. It wasn't a hardship to let her do something she technically could do without his say so. Why make trouble when there was no need.

"I want you to be included in everything when it comes to her. Everything you want to be." She told him, but they both knew it wasn't question of what he wanted to be involved in; he wanted to be a part of it all. He had half a mind to invite himself on the trip with them just so he didn't miss out on anything. Suggesting that, though, he knew, was not the way to go about things.

He needed to play Mr. Fix it Man and she was the key to solving their life puzzle. And a complicated puzzle it was. A lot of fixing needed to be done.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking and…" And what? She wanted to tell him so much, to say that she wanted that kiss to mean something and wanted him to feel the same. She wanted to say that he was a factor in whether she took the job offer or not. She wanted to tell him that he couldn't keep toying with her. He couldn't keep making her the other woman she swore never to be. She wanted to tell him all of that and so much more. Instead, she took a safe route. She wasn't telling him what her trip was about. She wasn't telling him that she was heading to London, not France. She wasn't going to mention the job unless she had to and, since she wasn't sure about it, there was no reason. No, there was no real reason for her fragile heart to be exposed. There was no real reason to be the strong person she knew she was… in every aspect of life except for matters of the heart… No, she said none of what she wanted to say, certainly none of what needed to say. Avoidance was a skill and she knew how to expertly maneuver the Hotchner hill. "And…" She had to say something though, and what she went with was a truth of its own. "We've talked about it and we've been putting it off… But we need to tell Morgan and Reid about us… Not us." She quickly restated, "But about Charlie and us… that she's yours… Rossi knows. JJ knows. Garcia found out. They're the only two that don't know and Morgan's going to kick my ass for not telling him right away." She was beginning to ramble… This family of a team she had were the only people who made her nervous enough to do that. Maybe that was what real family was? You love them and want to be the best you for them, so you're terribly worried about disappointing them. Her lies and deceptions were sure to do that. "I don't want to put it off any longer. I just want it all out in the open… And I… I can do it myself. That's not a problem. Or we can do it together. It's up to you… Whatever you want. We can do it before I leave… or when I come back… But I'm thinking that we should say something before so that Morgan will have some time to cool down. He's… He's going to be upset with me and you…"

"I can handle Morgan." He loved when she rambled. It didn't happen all too often, but it was adorable when it did. "I'm not looking forward to it. And, like I said last time we talked about telling them, I'm worried about how he'll react." They both were. "But I can handle it. And the longer we wait the harder it will be. So, we should do it before you go… So, soon."

"I'll set something up with them. Do you want to be there?"

"Umm…" He should be there… He really should, but he knew Morgan's temper. The darker man heard some war stories, he formed some strong opinions about Charlie's "deadbeat" father… He really didn't want to explain to his kids the possible black eye. "Do you want me there?"

"I do, but no…"

"Ok?"

"I think it's best I do it on my own. I can take Reid to that Renaissance Fair he wanted to check out and then get a work out in with Morgan. He might go a little easier with inanimate targets in sight."

"Good idea."

"It's settled…" She said. Fidgeting again, she realized she couldn't ignore the real topic anymore… The kiss… All of what she needed to say, she really didn't say. Mostly, because she was conflicted… and, when it came to him, a cowardly lion. But he had something to say and she could at least hear him out. "Ok, now I'm done. Say what you need to say. You wanted to explain and I owe it to you to listen."

"Alright." He settled in. "I care about you." He started.

"And I care about you too." She responded, afraid of what he could say, afraid to hope and be vulnerable, open to hurt.

"I kissed you."

"Yeah." She scoffed. "You did." And just thinking about it brought about an anger she couldn't quite place. Who was she angry at? Him for doing it or her for allowing it to bother her so much?

"There's something here Emily." He gestured. "Between us."

"There's nothing here Aaron. You said as much."

"I wasn't thinking then… I didn't mean it.

"You're dating someone. What about Beth? Did you forget about her? You kissed me and you're dating someone. We can't ignore that. We can't ignore all that has happened." Emily was getting worked up. Honestly, they both were and both needed to. They had the tendency to keep things locked away and that stood between them and unity. That inevitable blow out of sorts, that combustion had to come. They needed brutal honesty once more. It worked for them, as terrible as it was. Their denial made them a match that could easily be struck at any moment. But they wouldn't always be like that.

"Aaron." A voice interrupted before he could say what he wanted to say.

"Damn it." He hissed. "Yes Chief Strauss."

"Oh," the older woman said as she came further through the door, "Agent Prentiss."

"Ma'am." She nodded politely in greeting.

"I didn't realize you were here too. I saw the light on and wanted to discuss some reports while you were here." Her eyes narrowed as she looked back and forth between the agents suspiciously. "Am I interrupting something?"

"No ma'am." Emily answered quickly and stood. "We were just going over a potential case. But, I think we're done here." She looked to Hotch and let him know that the interruption was the excuse she needed to get out. "I'm going to head home to my daughter. Thanks for the input. See you Monday."

She rushed out before he could even say her name. He knew once Strauss showed up, they were done talking anyway. It wasn't a conversation they should've even had in that building, but they thought it was safe late on a weekend night. "What can I do for you ma'am?"

"I need some detail reports about your takedown. Callie Sotta's lawyer already filed a complaint so I'm getting heat to make sure it was all by the book."

"It was, no question."

"Just have all the reports written and on my desk Monday morning.

"I'll send the team a memo and we'll have everything ready for you."

"Good, thank you."

"Anything else?"

"Yes, I need you to go over these with me. Walk me through them and then I can finally get out of here."

"Let's see what you have."

As Hotch spent the last few hours of daylight at the office, Emily headed home. Parked in the driveway, she sat there for a moment. She needed to breathe. She knew she was a coward, but she was damaged, maybe even broken. When it came to Hotch, she rather live with the secret hope and just cope with what is than be toyed with. She felt so un put-together when it came to him. His feelings for her fluctuated like a rapid cycling bipolar. One minute he was pushing her away and the next, they found themselves tangled. She could live with the comfortable, more than friends, but friends relationship they had. Sure, it was confusing at times and it worked her mental abilities to keep it together, but it worked for them. It allowed their daughter to have her functional dysfunction of a family and it allowed her to be around him, even if not quite in the way she wished. But it worked as well as anything could.

But he kissed her. He kissed her and that wall broke and then… it seemed like he wanted more. If Strauss hadn't interrupted, it looked like that was where the conversation was going. And she wanted to hear it. So, so badly she wanted to hear that, because that was what she really wanted… him. But she didn't want him to change his mind. He couldn't say it and not mean it. So when the exit came, she took her cue.

If that made her a coward, then so what? Someone needed to keep them afloat.

Right?

"Keep telling yourself that Prentiss." She told her reflection. "Get it together and get in there."

When Hotch called that night, and he did, Emil pulled a very immature move. She had Charlie answer the phone. She saw his name on the caller ID and was quick to pass the phone. "Charlie, it's daddy."

"Yay!" She squealed and ran over to take it. "Hi Daddy! Are you home now too?" She asked. "Cool… yeah… Uh huh… I had lots of fun… Will had to work so Sarah took us to the park and people from school were there so we played with them too." Emily listened to the one side of the conversation.

"I hear there's a dance recital coming up."

"Yeah! I get to wear a pretty costume and dance with all my friends."

"I can't wait to see it."

"You're coming?"

"Of course. I wouldn't miss it."

"Henry's going to come too. Is Jack?"

"Hopefully. I'm going to try to have him there too."

"Cool!"

"I missed you while we were away."

"I did too. You and mommy need to stop so I don't miss you so much."

He felt saddened by that. Another child was hurt by his job constantly taking him away. Problem was, both he and Emily would be lost without it. "I'm sorry that we travel so much."

"That's ok. You have to catch the bad guys! Are you coming over?"

"I wish I could, but not tonight."

"Tomorrow?"

"Maybe. I'd really like that."

"Me too."

"Ok sweetheart. It's getting late and I know it's bedtime, so you better go get ready."

"Alright…"

"I love you Charlie. Goodnight."

"Love you too daddy."

"Is mommy around?"

"Uh huh, right here." She went to Emily. "Mommy, for you."

"Oh…" Great. "Thanks." Before putting the phone to her ear, she spoke to Charlie. "Go brush your teeth."

"'Kay."

"Hello." Emily greeted Hotch.

"Hi Emily. We need to finish our talk."

"Do we really?"

"Yes. I didn't say anything I needed to say."

"I don't understand what else there is to say."

"You'd be surprised. And you'd actually know if you'd sit down and listen without interrupting. I need you to hear me out."

She sighed. "I know."

"We can't put this off either. There's no Beth anymore. You are not and never were the other woman."

"Hotch… come on…"

"No Emily. Hear me."

"I hear you. But… I don't know what to make of it. I… I don't want to be the reason you break up with someone or miss out on something… I can't."

"Emily we were…"

"I have to go Hotch. Charlie's waiting."

"Emily…"

"Just give me a moment to breathe Aaron."

"Fine." He huffed. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight."

"Night."

Both were frustrated, and rightfully so. Emily was upset with herself. She knew she was running, and not in the way she normally was. This time, she was truly running away from what scared her instead of running to it. She was terrified, and angry with herself because of it. Aaron had to wonder if he wasted too much time. He did what he did so he could know for sure what he wanted. But he was sure now and it might've been too late. And that was on him. He scared her off, pushed her away, and roped her in all in the same foul swoop. But it wasn't over. He'd give her the second to get her bearings straight, but then he'd get it all out there and show his hand. She had the courage to do it first, and he folded before he gave himself the chance to see the cards. Denial did that to him, but he hoped she didn't do the same. He knew how she felt and hoped she still felt the way she did, but it was time she knew the truth about how he felt too.

If only she could let herself hear it.

He'd force her to if he really needed to because he knew this wasn't her. He knew that they had this crazy ability to make each other act out of character. Maybe that was what made them so right for each other. They may not work out, but there was so much feeling there, so much ignored and repressed feeling, that it drove them mad. And they had to at least try their hand…

But, until she was in a situation where she had to face him, she wasn't going to dwell on it too much. It was officially Charlie time. The remainder of her weekend was all about her daughter. If Charlie was awake, that was what her mind was on… mostly. Her skills were wearing down and she couldn't push it into a compartment. Things with him, if she was honest, were never really neatly packed. Instead, they were scattered just below the surface ready to pop out when she wanted them buried the most. He seemed to have the same problem, though he was never as good at it as she was.

When Monday rolled around, Emily didn't make plans to avoid him, but that did seem to be her subconscious move. He wasn't going to say anything. They said from the beginning their personal lives didn't exist at work. They could talk Charlie and have brief conversations, but that was the extent of it. As of late, they seemed to be ignoring that rule. And they were almost caught in a conversation about a not yet existing romantic relationship… by Strauss no less. They couldn't chance it any more.

So neither was going to bring it up there, but that didn't stop the awkward feelings they were having. It was like a high school crush where everything felt so big and momentous, but they were the only ones seeing it that way. Thankfully, the only ones that could notice were the ones looking for something, looking for changes.

By Wednesday, both profilers were being cornered by their friends. "What happened to that talk you were supposed to have?" Rossi asked him. "You two may be able to hide whatever's going on from the Reid, the socially unaware, and Morgan who even if he noticed you acting all squirrely isn't going to question it… But I know to look for it."

"We did talk…"

"And?"

"And then Strauss interrupted."

"The office Aaron! You chose to talk here?" Stunad! His angry Italian was flaring.

"I know… We were already here. I had work to get done. It was convenient."

"Well, convenient doesn't always equate to best."

The conversation flowed much like that for the girls too. "You're avoiding him."

"Not intentionally."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"You said you were going to hear him out. When I asked if you talked, you said you did."

"We did… just… not completely."

"Not completely?"

"I had the intention of hearing him out. Whatever he had to say, I genuinely wanted to hear."

"But?"

"But then Strauss interrupted and I saw that as an out I didn't even know I wanted." She spoke quickly.

"Emily!"

"I know Jayje…"

"There's something wrong with you!"

"That's… Yeah, I can't argue with that. I'm sure there's a lot wrong with me."

"You're running from him."

"No!" She shook her head. "Ok, yes, but not on purpose. I want to hear him out, but I keep convincing myself not to."

"Why?"

"Because… because I'm a big freaking idiot."

"No you're not…"

"I am. We keep having to talk. Do you know how annoying that is? It's just one talk after another without any progress. We talk and things change, but then we regress again." Maybe that spoke more about what they should do than any words could. Clearly there was a reason they always ended back where they began… they loved each other…

JJ wanted to laugh. "Emily, people talk. Communication's important."

"Yeah… and so is action. Problem is we're either talking about hurting each other or actually hurting each other. And I don't want to be hurt again."

"Wow."

"What?"

"You're afraid and, this is the first time I've actually seen you run from what you're afraid of."

"I'm not running…"

"You are."

"No. I can't run from him. I'm just. I'm running from what he could say. Whatever it is, good or bad, it can change us. We've been ok. We get to this place where everything seems good, you know? And then, then something inevitably changes things. Like a kiss… or a spontaneous declaration of unrequited feelings… and then suddenly they're not so unrequited."

"You're confused." She surmised.

"Of course I'm confused." Emily stated. "We evidently care about each other. That's not the issue. But is it really more? Should it be this much work just to be in an ok place?"

"Em… the best things in life are worth fighting for." JJ's head bobbed toward the opening school doors. "You'd fight to make her happy, wouldn't you?"

"Is that even a question?"

"So, fight for yourself too. She's happy when you're happy. And as long as you ignore what's between you and him, you're not happy."

"I'm happy." She lied. She was happy, but she wasn't at the same time.

"No, you're sad and scared. It's ok. Honestly, it's nice to be on the opposite end of this. You even seem stronger for it, if possible. But, don't do it to yourself. Hear him out completely, say your peace. Do what you need to do. Because it's eating at you. You're not being yourself."

"I know… I know what I want. But even if he wants the same… I don't know that we can make it."

"Don't know until you try."

"You're just a barrel of sayings today, huh?"

She pushed her friend playfully. "Come on Em. The kids are waiting."

"Thanks for telling me what's what."

"Oh yeah, anytime. This is fun. No wonder you like to be so put together. What happened?"

"Funny." The two peeled away from the car they were leaning on and went to take their kids home. They were off in time for pick up and it thrilled them. The girl talk helped too.

The guy talk wasn't so bad either.

"You two are going to give me an ulcer."

"Well Dave, it's not my fault she doesn't want to hear it. Maybe she doesn't feel the same anymore."

They were the reason he was greying. The whole group of them from the eccentric tech to the stony leader. They were his crazy, mind boggling, mess of a family. "Are you stupid?!"

"Uh… no?"

"I'm this close to locking the both of you in a supply closet just to keep you both from fleeing each other. You'll end up one of three ways."

"And what are those?"

"Fighting, talking, or naked."

"Dave."

"The only reason you two are so dysfunctional is because at any given time one of you is running from the feelings for the other. Doyle and her being hurt brought many things to the forefront. And with that came the feelings that were denied for so long. You can't lie to me Aaron. When you knew her working for her mother, something was sparked."

"I was in a committed relationship."

"Yeah? And what's your point."

"My point is clearly we know why none of your marriages worked out."

"Nice… What I meant is that something was sparked. Being in a committed relationship doesn't mean you don't feel anything else. It means not acting on it and not looking for it. You didn't look for her. But she came anyway. And when the opportunity to be with her presented itself to you and you were available, whether conscious or not, you took it. You both did, and now you're both playing musical feelings. One of you is up while the other is down. You're dating other people and then you're not." His hands gestured wildly. "You have a kid together. You're making a family. When it comes to feelings, you both refuse to be in the same place at the same time. Stop looking for excuses. Stop being afraid of what could happen and go for it. Just the two of you, no third party relationships… Figure it out because I'm not joking about locking you in a room together." He promised. "Now, my date awaits me. Get it together."

He didn't know if he should be thankful for that conversation or just confused. How did others know so much more about what he was feeling before he even did? Was he right though? Were they both just flip flopping because they were afraid? Neither of their romantic pasts worked out very well. She was never married. He was divorced. She left behind a string of broken hearts. He had only ever, truly, been with one woman. And then, there was his short lived, but enlightening, interlude with Beth.

They both came to the realization that they made each other functional and dysfunctional at the same time. When they were on the same page, as rare as that was when it came to anything but the kids, they were amazing. But when they weren't, it was like they had to schedule their lives. They had to set times to meet and talk because spontaneity always led to more. And more led to trouble. But why was it trouble? Why couldn't they just give into it?

Were they too damaged? Too thick headed and blind? Maybe they were just too skilled at denying feelings. That was definitely part of it. But it didn't have to be. They were both determined not to let it be. But, they were still waiting for the right time. And right times were hard to come by.

Though they knew it would happen eventually, they wanted it to happen naturally. Going with the flow, they continued on without broaching the topic. Calls at night were normal. Work was normal. They were normal. But, they would talk. It would happen and things would change.

Thursday, Emily cemented plans with Reid and Morgan. "Reid, have plans Friday night?" The team all agreed they wanted to come to Charlie's recital so it left a small window of time to get things done.

"No?"

"How about going with me to the Ren Faire?"

"You're going?" He asked with an enthusiasm that only he could express over that.

"Yup and I've got an extra ticket with your name on it."

"You want me to come?"

"Yeah Reid. It's been a while since it was just the two of us. It's time we had some fun again."

"Oh… ok. Cool. I'm in. I can pull out my authentic medieval garb and brush up on the appropriate lingo for the time period."

"Sometimes Reid, you take all the fun out of being a nerd."

"I don't mean to."

"I know you don't Spence. I'm just teasing. We'll have fun."

"Have fun doing what?" Morgan asked as he walked into work that morning.

"Oh Emily and I are going to the Renaissance Faire. Did you know…" He went off on his tangent until the other agents couldn't take it anymore and gracefully made an exit for coffee.

"So you're going out with the genius, you and Hotch seem all chummy, JJ practically lives with you, Garcia gets girls' night, and I wouldn't be surprised if Charlie started calling Rossi Grandpa. What am I chopped liver?"

"Very good looking chopped liver."

"Oh you know I'm delicious. Too bad you're not getting any."

"Aww, someone's jealous."

"No way… But seriously, I haven't had any time with either Prentiss princess. What's up with that? Are you avoiding me?" Not trying to…

"No, of course not."

"Then what?"

"Well, I was actually hoping you would want to spend some time with me this weekend too."

"I don't know. Might be too busy." He teased.

"Come on. I wanted to spend some time with you… talk to you… You know you're going to miss not seeing this face for two whole weeks."

"Yeah I am. What did you want to do?"

"We could hit the gym. I can kick your ass."

"Oh you're on. Name the time and place. I'll be there to show you who's boss."

"Alright. I'll let you know when."

"Ok. Let's get to work before someone comes looking."

By the end of the week, everything was set and ready to go. Plane tickets were booked, travel documents ready and waiting, mother talked to and itinerary made, and speeches for Morgan and Reid prepared. She was ready… almost. There still seemed like a mountain of things to get done and face. But she'd do them all.

"So, I'm going to go out with Reid Friday and talk to him after the faire." Emily told Hotch during their nightly chat. Charlie had just fallen asleep as Hotch and Emily told her a story.

"And Morgan?"

"Derek and I are going to do an early workout Saturday. I thought it best to do it before we're all together and they hear her call you daddy."

"Definitely. No more finding out by surprise. That has happened too many times already."

"I know. So, Charlie's going to be with her dance class from 7 until 10. They like to have a moral meeting or something and they hand out trophies for the older girls and Charlie gets her 2 year trophy this time. It's fun for the kids and she's excited. Then I'm going to meet her there. They have an hour dress rehearsal and I have to drop off the costume. Parents are the only ones allowed there so if you want to come, you're more than welcome."

"Em, slow down."

"Right, sorry. I still have a list of things to get done before I leave and… I never left the country without her." She said sadly. That was a reality she had yet to face. Charlie never really travelled without her either, just with Clyde and they didn't end up going nearly as far as she had hoped at the time.

"I know. Take a breath."

"I'm breathing."

"Good. I wanted to say thank you."

"For what?"

"For trusting me to have her for a week all to myself."

"She's our daughter Hotch. I trust you with her no matter what."

"I know, but it wasn't always that way. And I want to thank you for talking to Reid and Morgan."

"It's better that way."

"I don't disagree. I just wish it wasn't all falling on your shoulders."

"It's my penance. It's a problem of my own creating."

"We made this problem. We could've told them right away."

"I love them Hotch, but we couldn't. We needed to figure it out for ourselves first and, for the most part, we did. So now it's way beyond time to fill them in. We waited longer than we had to and now it needs to just get done with limited damage."

"Are you sure you don't want me to be there? I don't want you taking all the flack."

"I'm sure. If there's flack, I can take it." He really needed her to not be able to "take" so much. Maybe then she'd rely on him and let him help her more.

"I know you can. That doesn't mean you have to."

"Yeah, it does. I'll be ok. I can take care of myself. And it's not like they're going to hurt me."

"Not physically."

"It'll be fine Hotch. It has to be."

"I'm sure you're right."

"Thanks." No one ever got tired of hearing that.

"I…" What did he say? Did he try talking to her then? Didn't he want to talk in person? Should he just do it anyway?

"What is it?" Emily asked after he paused.

"I guess I should let you go huh? Let you cross some stuff off your to do list."

"I don't have a to-do list." Embarrassed, she hid the small notepad like he could see.

"For some reason, I don't believe that."

"I don't."

"You do. And I love that about you; one of the many things I love about you." Love? She was blushing. He was hoping she didn't get scared away by his slip.

"Thanks Aaron." She said, not wanting to leave a lingering silence. "I… uh… I do have a lot to do though, so I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Goodnight Emily."

"Goodnight Aaron."

She released a heavy breath as did he, both asking themselves a variant of what the hell was that. He was one sentence away from just coming right out and saying he loved her, something he didn't think either of them were ready for, something he didn't truly admit to himself. Sure, they loved each other. The whole team loved each other. But the two of them, while they could possibly see it happening, were not at that point yet. Maybe the rules of dating had changed, but he figured they should at least be dating before he blurted "I love you." Was he trying to freak her out?

The problem with the two was that they were finally facing their feelings. That was the good news. The bad news was that since the rejection, Emily was incessantly trying to suppress them. She knew she couldn't deny them, but she could make them less, so to speak. She convinced herself it was for the best and that she'd just get her heart broken anyway. But now, he was facing it and all he wanted was to tell her he wanted them to be all they could be, to wake up and openly look forward to being with her…

He wanted her.

She wanted him.

They were idiots not to just go for it.

But life is a complicated mess of complications and they were the biggest web there was. Something always seemed to be in the way. Usually, it was their own insecurities and emotions holding them back.

Patience was necessary for the observer, but they'd get there. And it would be worth it. Until then, they both had things to take care of before that penultimate moment. But it was coming, and they knew that. They were preparing for it.

Emily put her list away, too confused and tired to worry about it. Not much of a last minute person, she realized that was what some of it would have to be. Saturday night she'd be all alone and could finish everything before her early flight. She was uncomfortable not being prepared for the trip. It was harder than normal because she had to make sure there was enough packed for Charlie to stay with Hotch and then a carry on and luggage for her flight. Another list needed to be made for Hotch so he knew what he needed to repack for Charlie later on.

"Ugh." She was frustrated. Too much feeling… Too much to do.

And morning came too quickly. "Mommy." Charlie woke her up before the alarm.

"What's the matter baby?"

"Why are you sleeping in your clothes?" She looked down at herself. Yeah, she definitely didn't change into her pajamas last night.

"Ugh… I forgot to change."

"That's silly."

"It is, very silly. Why are you not sleeping?"

"You were dreaming loudly."

"I was." She said curiously. "What did I say?"

Shrugging she answered, "You were grumbling a lot and you said love you."

"Hmm… Anything else?"

"I don't know. I was sleeping."

"You should still be sleeping. Give me a kiss and go back to bed ok?"

"Where are you going to go?"

"I'm going to get ready to the day and make us a super special breakfast."

"Mmm." She mumbled as her eyes shuttered with sleep. "Chocolate."

"Sure." She whispered. "There'll be chocolate."

"Oh-kay…" Smiling, Emily took a moment to watch her girl. She was going to miss her so much that week without her… so, so much.

She was even going to miss making breakfast in the morning. Travelling for work didn't feel quite the same. This was a pleasure trip… there was more guilt in the separation. No, she said to herself. She didn't need to feel guilty. Her daughter needed time with her father and she needed some time for herself to think and breathe and just be. It had been nearly a decade since she had that chance. Who knew when it would happen again?

No guilt, she used her early wake up wisely, spending the extra time to finish up her packing and whatnot. A few chores and tasks taken off her list, she moved on to feeding her kid.

"Charlie, breakfast!" Emily called.

"Yum!" The girl squealed as she saw the table.

"Eat up. I'll be right back." Emily quickly ran up the stairs, pulled all she'd need for her night with Reid out and laid it on her bed. Grabbing the last of the files she needed to hand in before vacation started, Emily returned.

She soaked up every last minute with her daughter on any given day, but more so then since she knew she'd be without for a while. "Why are you staring mommy? It's weird."

"Because you're gorgeous kid." Emily peppered her with kisses.

"Stop it!" She giggled. "You're getting germies all over me."

"I am?"

"Uh huh."

"Ok, ok, I'll stop." Emily pulled away. "Go get your stuff. It's time to go."

The day was an easy one. Even if a case came in, unless it was a consult, it was passed up to another team. They, mostly, just spent the day together talking and, occasionally, working on the few files they had. Emily finalized plans, or rather went over everything again, with JJ and handed off the plane tickets. Charlie would be hanging out at her house while she was with Reid, so she made a note to discuss it once more later that night.

When they day was up, her real day started. "You want me to pick you up after I drop Charlie off?" She asked Reid. "Or do you want to meet me there?"

"I'll meet you. My place is out of the way."

"Ok. See you tonight."

"And me tomorrow, right Princess?"

"And you tomorrow Morgan so I can kick your butt and show you how a real woman works."

"Oh I see it every day." He joked.

"Nice Morgan." She picked up her bag and did one quick sweep of her desk to make sure she had everything shed need. "I better go. See you tonight Reid. Bright and early Morgan. Be ready."

"Bye Princess."

"See you Emily."

Before heading to the elevators she turned in the opposite direction. One last stop… one of her last few stops. "I was wondering if you'd grace me with your presence."

"Of course I would. You know I can't live without some Garcia time."

"Could've fooled me." She pouted. "I feel like persona non grata. I think I've been replaced."

"Never. There's no one out there quite like you."

"That's true."

"It is."

"So what can I do for you girl wonder?"

"Still coming to Charlie's recital?

"You betchya! Got to spend some time with my mini E and E the first before you start jet setting with Blondie and leave me all to my lonesome."

"Aww, PG… You know I'd take you too. But I'm actually trying to work on my relationship with my mother. And, don't take this the wrong way because I love you and wouldn't change a single thing about you…"

"I'm sensing a but… I'm not liking a but…"

"But my mother is my mother… And she's…"

"A Nazi?"

"So to speak."

"I met her. I get it. She's nice, but very proper. No offense taken. I'm just too awesome for her."

"That you are my friend. And as much as I'd like to watch her go insane."

"You want mommy to love you."

"Something like that. But next trip, you're so on it."

"Let's make it somewhere warm… a beach with great Wi-Fi preferably."

"I'll do my best."

"And I'll need some extra girl time with Juju B and my edible gumdrop."

"You got it." She reached into her pocket. "Here. This is your ticket for tomorrow. I'll save us all seats, but try to be there on time if you can. Some of the other parents get really annoyed when people show up after it starts."

"What kind of place are you sending her to? Do I need to find a better dance school with nicer parents? I'll run background checks."

"I love you for offering, but it's a really good place… and I had some checks run when I had problems with a few of them."

"You had problems… Wait… Have you been cheating on me? Do you have another hacker on the side?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Emily smiled and headed for the door.

"I would." The blonde followed. "I would like to know."

With a backwards wave, Emily simply said, "See you tomorrow Garcia."

"Not cool Em, not cool."

Cool or not, it gave her a much needed laugh as the nerves about the impending talks were getting to her. She put everything off and it just made it more work for her in the present. There wasn't much time to dwell on it though. As soon as she got home there was immediately something to do. Charlie helped her, though, making it a bit more fun.

"Why do you need so much clothes?"

"I'm going to be away for a while."

"Can't you just wash them?"

"Sometimes, but I still need to have a few choices."

"Where are all my clothes?

"Am I going to be gone with you as long?"

"Well, you're going to be spending some time with your dad first."

"Without you?"

"We talked about this Charlie Bear."

"But I'm going to miss you."

"I know." Emily whispered as she pushed everything aside and pulled Charlie into her chest. "But we'll talk every single day and do our video chats just like when I'm on a case."

"Can't I just come with you? You can carry me in your suitcase. I'll fit. And I'll be good, I promise."

"Oh…" She cooed. "You're always so good Charlie Bear, and I hate being away from you for even a second. But you like spending time with daddy. And you'll see Jack." She explained. "Then JJ's going to take you on a cool airplane and we'll be together again."

"But that's a loooong time." She embellished. "Like a million years."

"Not even close. You'll have so much fun you won't even miss me."

"Nuh uh! I'll miss you lots and lots."

"Me too."

"Not even close. You'll have so much fun you won't even miss me."

"Nuh uh! I'll miss you lots and lots."

"Me too." She squeezed a little tighter. "But we're going to have so much fun."

"And I get to see grandma right?!"

"You will see grandma."

"And climb the tower?"

"Uh… sure… We can _see_ the Eiffel Tower."

"And climb it?"

"We can definitely climb the stairs."

"Not the outside?"

"Umm… no. Sorry Charlie."

"Al-right."

"Can you do me a favor?" Emily asked her.

"What?"

"Can you go into your room and get all your dance stuff?"

"But you already did it."

"I got it out. Can you bring it in here?"

"Ok."

Charlie left allowing Emily just enough time to change and get ready for her time with Reid, but it also left her mind open for thinking. It was no doubt she was going to have fun with Reid. But there was no telling how the conversation was going to go afterward. And Morgan… he was unpredictable. Angry, she knew that for sure, but what else would he be? What kind of anger would it be?

Those were some of the thoughts she had, and she was worried. Her life didn't seem to have a whole lot of middle ground. Things tended to start at one spectrum extreme or the other and it took a lot of work to get to that neutral center. She just wanted it to go well.

"Mom!" Charlie yelled. "You're not listening!"

"I'm sorry. When did you get back in here?"

"Forever ago. You were 'noring me."

"I didn't mean to. I was just thinking."

"About what?"

"About how much I'm going to miss my little monster and how excited I am to see you dance tomorrow."

"I'm going to be so awesome."

"Yeah you are."

"Do you have to go tonight? Can't you stay with me?"

"Well, Spencer's probably already there waiting for me."

"He can come over. He can sleep in your bed. We can have a sleepover like when Derek did."

"You don't forget anything, do you?"

"Nope."

"I do need to go Charlie, but I promise that if I get home early enough, we can cuddle on the couch with some ice cream."

"Ok!" She smiled. "You should leave now so you can come home early."

"Glad you're so quick to get rid of me now. Get your shoes on and we'll go."

Emily's nervous energy must've been pretty transparent because JJ picked up on it right away.  
>Why do you look like you're about to pee your pants? You're only seeing Reid." She was quick to divulge the deeper reason for their friend time as they aptly called it. "Good for you. It's past time."<p>

"I know." Anxiously, she left the Jareau house after her best friend offered her some words of wisdom and wished her good luck.

She was going to need it.

When she got there, she found Reid hunched over a booth correcting the poor lady running it on the historical accuracy of the garb she was selling. "Leave the poor girl alone Spence."

"Emily?! You scared me."

"Sorry. Hi." She greeted with a quick hug.

"Hi." Why did it feel like an award first date encounter? They knew each other for years and it was not a date at all… well, a friend date.

"Where to first?"

"I'll follow you milady." As in the old days, he made a hand gesture accompanied with a bow.

"Thank you kind sir."

They had a good time, both admitting they really missed their nerdy alone time catching up on literature and things only they could fully enjoy. Gluttonous, they splurged on a food booth or two and hit up a couple souvenir stands. Charlie wouldn't forgive her if she didn't bring something home. And while she was out, she might as well grab something for Henry and Jack too.

"So, want to go to that really sketchy food truck with the amazing baklava and eat 'til our heart's content. If you don't give me one statistic of the likelihood of food poisoning or possible bacterium, I'll even throw in hot chocolate. My treat."

"Not one statistic?"

"Resist the urge."

Reid agreed, but it would be tough for him.

"I bought this for Charlie." Reid handed her a small bag.

"Oh Spence… that's sweet. You didn't have to."

"I know."

"When did you even have a chance to grab this?"

"You ran to the bathroom."

"What is it?"

"Look." Emily opened it up and saw a small package, not really true to the era, but nonetheless, very Reid appropriate. A little book of Renaissance magic and magician's tools.

"You're trying to turn my little angel into a nerdling."

"I thought that was a given… She's your daughter."

"Hey. True, but hey." She playfully nudged him.

"So… As much as I'm enjoying this. We haven't had the chance to do this in a long time… You've been biting your nails all night…"

"Stupid bad habits." She muttered.

"Is there something the matter?"

"No… nothing's wrong." Reid would've accepted that and Emily wanted to leave well enough alone, but that wasn't her. She rarely let fear stop her and now wasn't the time to start. "But as much as this was about spending time with you, there is something I wanted to talk to you about."

"What is it?"

"It's about Charlie…" And so it began.

Emily had to admit, telling him was a relief, a little less luggage for her to bring on her trip. His reaction was also very Reid, which was both comforting and disconcerting at the same time. The things he said weren't… they weren't what she was expecting. They weren't not what she was expecting either, if that made any sense. He took it well, she supposed. It could've gone better too. Really, he got to her. It wasn't so much his reaction as what he said. Not intentionally on his part, his words really affected her. They got her mind racing again, going against all the things she'd been trying to convince herself to do and making her realize her life and choices impacted so many others.

Great… Just what she needed.

JJ was a little concerned when Emily went to get Charlie, sure to ask if she was ok. "Yeah," she responded, "Just thinking about some things…"

"It went ok?"

"It did, yeah." Emily brushed off the rest handing the blonde a shirt and book for Henry that she picked up.

"That's adorable. He'll love it. Thanks."

"See you tomorrow."

"You will and then you can tell me all about what went down with Reid and how things go with Morgan."

"You got it." She wasn't avoiding anymore.

It was another restless night for the profiler. After spending the evening cuddled with her baby, a scoop of ice cream each… yes, she deserved the second dessert… She needed it. And, chances were, Morgan was going to work her hard the next morning. She was looking forward to getting it over with. Morning came and she was up at the crack of down. All the bags were packed. Everything Charlie needed for travel and her week with Aaron were in the trunk. Her bags were in resting in the foyer ready and waiting for the car service to get her later.

Gym clothes on, Charlie's dance stuff ready, and breakfast done, she woke Charlie. "Remember to have fun today ok?"

"Ok. I'm going to be so good. No mistakes!"

"But even if you do, that's ok. I'll still be proud and you'll still be awesome."

"I'm always awesome."

"You are." She bent down. "Now kisses before you go with your class."

Charlie slobbered on her cheek. "Love you."

"Love you too."

Now time for Morgan, she sighed. She knew he'd be accepting. That wasn't what worried her. It was Morgan. He loved her and she loved him. They were close… But this could divide them, push them apart like her secrets already seemed to.

But she didn't want to go in with that attitude. That would just turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy. So, she went into the gym, head held high, attempting to ease her mind. Mind over matter, she chanted. All would be ok. "Ready to get an ass whooping Princess?" Morgan greeted her.

"Confident are we Hot Shot?" Their banter was so natural and effortless.

"I can take you."

"You haven't yet." She added with a wink.

"I've been going easy on you."

"Keep telling yourself that." She linked her arm in his and started walking toward the mat area.

"Come on Princess, you're wounding my pride."

"I'll take it easier on you."

"Easier?!"

"A girl's got to have her skills."

"Oh… Oh now you're on." He teased. "Let's warm up."

They got into a rhythm, throwing some practice moves and working with the bag. It never hurt to learn a few new moves. But the point, other than to hang with Morgan and keep heart healthy, was to talk. "There's something we need to talk about Derek."

"Uh oh. Am I in trouble?" He joked.

"It's not a joke Derek."

"Alright." His smile faltered. "What's going on?"

"I want you to hear me out ok? Without jumping to conclusions or making rash judgments."

"What's this about?"

"It has to do with me… and Charlie…"

"I'm listening,"

Unfortunately, she decided on the worst possible second to say what needed to be said and really drop the bomb… That would cause friction later… And the way things went down was enough to end their session early, neither thrilled with how things went. There'd be a mess to clean up when she returned, but it was her mess…

Yay her…

Emily took her time showering and getting ready, skillfully and strategically placing her make-up. Satisfied, she went to the performance center to meet with Charlie and grab some early seats. Hotch tried calling her, but she was still at the gym with Morgan, so he sent her a follow up text. _Just wanted you to know can't be there early for the dress rehearsal. Picking up Jack now. See you there. Want to hear how things went._

She was ok with that. The nosy parents didn't need to start with the looks again trying to figure out who he was and what he was doing there before, not so coyly, trying to meddle their way into conversation. Most of them were just too fake for her. Not all, but most…

After wishing Charlie luck one last time and seeing her off to the closed doors backstage, Emily headed to the lobby. Everyone arrived on time, twenty minutes before the show like she suggested. After the round of greetings with the team and kids, Emily and Hotch migrated aside. "Here, I bought this for Jack." She pulled out a bag. "I got one for Charlie and Henry too. Thought they were so cute."

"Thanks. We can give it to him at dinner." Hotch accepted the bag and looked at her. "How did it go?"

She should've known he'd be no nonsense, right to the chase. "It was… hard, as expected and… it went…" She did her patented lip thing. "Reid was easier than Morgan."

Examining her closer, he said, "Your lip is bleeding." His voice was rough. "What happened?"

"Oh… What? It is?" Her hand moved to swipe at her lip. She thought it stopped, and she thought she covered it up.

"Did he hit you?" Hotch whispered angrily, trying to keep his voice down as not to draw the team's attention. "Did he do this to you?!"

"Hotch… It's no big deal." She tried to reason. And it wasn't… her own fault really. Bad timing…

"Did he do this? Answer me."

"It's… He… Yes… No… Really, it's nothing." No matter what she said, he was going to be angry. It wasn't what it looked like, and even saying that looked bad…

"He did, didn't he?" He wrapped his hand around her arm to keep her from bolting. "What happened?"

"Can we not talk about this here?" She shielded her face from the prying eyes of the team and the everyday look-e-loos. "We have enough of our business out there. And this isn't a big deal."

"Then why are you hiding it?"

"Because it looks like a big deal and requires explaining. But today's about Charlie."

"He hit you in the face."

"No… No, it wasn't like that."

"Then what was it like? Please tell me."

"It was an accident. I'll explain later. Right now, I need to run to the bathroom and then we need to get to our seats." She stopped herself. "And don't say anything or do something stupid. Leave him alone."

"Fine." He huffed.

And the rest of the event was spent in this awkward tension and glares. The seating arrangement, though meant to help, did little for them. It was like a tragic symbol of her life. Morgan was on one end next to Garcia, constantly looking to the brunette pair, to her with guilt, to him with anger. Hotch held steady on the other end sandwiched between Rossi and Jack. He too had a face, his trademark frown turned into a narrow eyes stare aimed directly at Morgan. And Emily sat uncomfortable in the center of it all, just trying to focus on her daughter as JJ squeezed her hand. The tension was palpable. There was no way the blonde would be oblivious to it, so she offered what comfort she could.

Poor Emily was desperately trying not to think, to just watch the kids all prancing around and enjoy their rendition of dance, but, for the most part, it only worked when Charlie was on. Otherwise, she kept thinking about what Morgan and Reid said.

So much had happened with all of them, to all of them, and between all of them…

Was she causing them more trouble?

Was the trouble worth it?

How would the two ways her next actions could go affect them all?

She couldn't wait to escape it all, at least physically, for a little while. Mentally, she was stuck with it though. There's no escaping your own mind. A round of applause pulled her to her feet to join in as the dancers took their bows. Garcia presented the excited, tutu wearing ballerina with a bouquet of flowers bigger than she was giving the child such innocent delight.

The smiles were plastered on everyone's faces even if they weren't all feeling it. Morgan was avoiding Hotch and vice versa. Rossi kept offering her a comforting look as JJ did that mothering thing she did so well. The kids were… well kids and they didn't sense anything. But the adults realized it was time to head out before things came to blows. The talks were actually perfect timing because it gave everyone time away from each other to think and do whatever they needed to resolve their feelings.

Dinner with Hotch and the kids was nice. They did discuss what happened to some degree, but not enough for his liking. Too bad, she thought. She told him enough not to be completely upset with Morgan, but the rest would have to wait. "We can talk fully and completely when I check in with you after my flight."

He had no choice but to accept that… Accept that it was another talk she would be postponing.

But, she wasn't running completely. After a heartfelt and sad goodbye with Charlie, Emily practically had to force Hotch to remove the girl from her because she couldn't do it herself. She waved to Jack and shared a quick word with Hotch reminding him of the list and final details.

"I'm going to start crying." She told him. "I need to go… Just take care of her and we'll talk soon ok?"

"Ok, have a safe flight."

"Thanks." She nearly ran. For a vacation she was supposed to be heading to, she wasn't as happy as she should've been. And that wasn't ok.

She couldn't leave the country without at least attempting to deal with the last bit of luggage she left behind. Morgan and Reid's words played heavily on her mind. What they both said though so different from each other, was also so similar. It sent the same message. And it completely rebuilt her resolve. She didn't know what to do anymore. That fear that was beginning to lessen was suddenly back in full force.

Yet, she fled the airport and ended up there, knocking on his door to deal with that. Everything had to be dealt with before she could make any next move. It hit her, she was knocking on the door of a house with two small sleeping children in the middle of the night… or really early in the morning. What was she doing? She was about to leave when the door swung open.

"Emily? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be boarding your plane?"

"I moved my flight. I have a little time."

"Ok." He felt no need to question it more than that. "I'm glad. Come in."

"Thanks…" She was timid, so unlike her. "So, any good plans this week?"

He'd play her game. "I don't know. I keep trying to come up with more fun things for us to do, but I'm pretty sure my bag of tricks has been emptied."

"Our life is pretty mundane, but it's also pretty perfect. We do normal things. It's not about the grand gestures. Sure, we'll do little day trips, go to the aquarium or that children's amusement park, but it's the normal things that make our life so great. We sit around and color or watch TV together. Not everything has to be big to be right. So don't go crazy. Just keep it normal."

"I will. Thanks… But… our plans… that's not why you're here."

Shaking her head, she responded, "No, it's not."

"Well, I'm glad you saved me from having to invite myself onto your trip just so we could talk. We needed to do this before you go."

"I know, that's why I'm here."

"I want to say so much to you but I don't think you'll really hear it." He told her as he escorted her inside. The kids were asleep, the house was quiet, and the sun was barely up.

"And I don't know you'll really mean it."

"We can be amazing Emily."

"Hotch… Aaron… I'm a mess…. You're a mess… Were both messes. Getting into this. That's just a disaster in the making."

"We don't know that."

"I do know that… Everything about us has always been bad timing. When I said how I felt you said you didn't feel the same."

"I was with someone then… I couldn't admit it."

"Right… you were with someone…" Way to remind her…

"Listen to me Emily. Beth and I, we're over. I broke up with her before I kissed you, not after…"

"Why? Why would you do that? You said you were happy with her."

"I was happy with her… As happy as I could be. But it wasn't right. I knew that. I had to end it because if I'm always thinking about you, I'm clearly not thinking of her. It wasn't working. I couldn't keep lying to myself. And I went in with the intentions of telling you just that, but you never gave me the chance."

"So what? You lose one relationship and suddenly I'm what you want?" It came off angry, and maybe she was, but really, she was just trying to rationalize in her head. It was like he was telling her what she wanted to hear, but not when she wanted to hear it. It didn't feel true. It didn't feel like it was supposed to.

"Emily…"

"Hotch please…" She begged. "I can't hear you say anymore. I know I said I was ready to listen before, but I'm not. I'm not avoiding… Not anymore. I know how I feel. I just… I need you to really consider what you want to say… Because… Because I have… There are feelings and you keep… I keep… Please, just really take the time to think this over before you say anything else."

"But Emily…"

"Please…" She was retreating. He saw it. Anything he could say, any romantic gesture or proclamation he could make would just be read as another attack. Her shield was up and armed.

"I need you to hear me this time. I gave you some space, but no more…" He told her. Even knowing there was a good chance she'd block it out and deflect it, he had to hope that she'd eventually hear it, that even if she didn't fully accept what he said them that it would hit her as she sat on the plane or lounged at the Louvre.

"And I need you to think about it. If you tell me what you know I want to hear… I'll believe you and you'll break me if you change your mind."

"I'm not changing my mind."

"My heart is in shambles. It's in a million little pieces being tethered together with tape and glue, barely strong enough for me to lock in a box and hope it heals." She sighed. "You do that… You pull it out of that box and shatter it a little more every time I see you."

"Emily I want this."

"Yeah… You said that." She looked into his eyes. "Now you say that. But not that long ago you were perfectly happy with someone else. You were telling me that the time we spent together was nothing more than friendship and you pushed me away. I accepted that… Then the cycle began again and we kissed… again. My heart can't take it anymore. Aaron, I want you to be happy, but I want to be happy too. If you don't want me, then fine. I'll find a way to be ok with that again and we'll find a way to make this really work for our daughter, but this has to stop. And if you do want me, fine, great, even better. Then we can try this. But you need to be sure. There's no changing your mind. You can't keep playing this never ending game of tug and pull and admitting things to each other… admitting feelings… that's going to open a can of worms for us personally, but professionally too. We have to think about that. Take some time. Figure things out. Really think things through. I have some thinking of my own I need to do."

"I don't need time. I'm sure about what I want."

"And I'm not sure you are."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that… I'm saying I hope you have a really good week with our daughter. JJ will be here Saturday night to pick her up and she's going to be flying with them to France. When the week is up, we'll be back and I'll have made a decision about my place in this team and hopefully you'll have what's in your heart all ironed out." She stood abruptly, walked over to him, and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. "I'll see you when I get back. We'll talk then; a real talk."

And she left, Hotch sitting there on his couch at a loss.

What just happened?

**So, more to come on all those conversations. I wanted to leave a little to go with next chapter. There's a flow people. Trust. I promise the next few chapters are not to be missed. (Which was why I've been torturing you with the lack of real adult, needed conversations… call it a delay of gratification if you will. It's good for the spirit sometimes)**

**Also, I put it on my other stories and I'll do it here too. My friend suggested I give you all my twitter name. It's MDwrites19 Feel free to stop by and say hello or remind me to update because I'm taking an astronomically long time. **

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**

**Lktwh13**** I know! Next chapter there will be more of the talky talks… and the one after that… not to be missed. And France, I mean hell yeah, I wish I was going! You think Hotch will make a transcontinental appearance? I don't know… Hmm… Thanks for reading!**

**justicegrl ****Does this count for a delay? Sorry if it does. There's reason to my madness. They are two idiots huh? They make me pull my hair too… Maybe I should do something about that**

**inheritancedrottningu**** Thank you! Hope you enjoy this one too.**

**Guest**** Thanks. Enjoy the update.**

**carrie**** I hurried as best as my mind and fingers would let me! Lol Enjoy the update. Hope you like it. **

**123a456e**** Thank you! I will do my best to update again ASAP. Hope this long one can tide you over until then.**

**rmpcmfan**** An ah-ha moment has been had. I think they admit they like each other, just not the depth of said like and they're not allowing themselves to hear the other say it to them… Idiots I tell you! You're going to like the next few chapters.**

**HPforever-after**** Let's not get to custody battles just yet…. Things will be happening before that's even remotely in the cards (if ever). It's a hard offer to pass up though, especially when times are tough at home for her and the team…**

**renruta**** Thank you. I'm proud to say I kept my 4.0 intact. And now I'm being lazy and forgetting all I learned. Enjoy the update.**

**smilin steph I love her too! I was too nervous to do more than say hi, but I did get to meet her. And it was amazing. She's incredibly sweet. **

**SouthunLady**** It always makes me happy to make others happy. =) Especially with my writing… Emily is a stubborn one. I think they all are in their own ways. I like the opening up and close JJ/Em friendship. I love Clyde, but I don't think he will or can rescind the offer. It's out there now. But, she doesn't have to take it… It really should be her choice, not one her meddling friends make for her… Just remember, I'm writing this so you know how it'll turn out, don't you? Like a little… THE TALK isn't really the talk… think series of small talks that lead to big moment.**

**CSIcorrespondent ****TAH is the best. And meeting her was great. Thanks. Enjoy this new one.**


	38. What's there to Know

_I do not own Criminal Minds, only the characters I have created in that world._

**Ok, so here's the rub bub. Yeah, I can't believe I wrote that either, even more why I have no desire to delete that… Any who, I've had this chapter and the next done for about a week now. I'm uploading this one now and the next in 2 or 3 weeks. They're generally long, so I think that's fair. My intensive summer course is kicking mu butt, 6 hours of one class a day followed by homework and work and 2 tests a week… It's a lot so I don't know when I'll have time to write. That's why I'm spacing out what I have done. But the next chapter… Oh the next chapter… That one… Do not miss it. That's all I'm saying. **

**Ok, so it's 2 am. I'm going to leave you to read so I can get some sleep and peel myself out of bed at 6 to get to class. Coffee shall be my best friend. Read on people. **

**Chapter 38: What's there to Know**

When Emily left, Hotch felt a little lost. He stayed in that very spot for a good hour or so longer just thinking about it all. She all but came right out and said she still wanted to try a relationship with him, which was what he wanted too. But then why was it so hard? Why was she fleeing the country without cementing that they would give it a fair shake when she returned? And, most importantly, what was there to think about?

All she had to do was give in. All she had to do was forgive him and give into what they were both feeling. He was ready to do that. He was giving in to her… finally. Hopefully, she'd be ready soon too. He'd give it more thought as asked, but he was sure what he wanted. The owed it to themselves and to their kids to try.

"Daddy?" Speaking of kid…

"Hey sweetheart. You're up early."

"I'm not tired anymore."

"Ok." He patted the spot next to him and waited for her to climb up. "Did you sleep ok?"

"Uh huh." She already missed her mom, but it was fun with Jack and daddy.

"Good." He smiled and let her sink into the couch. "I loved watching you dance yesterday. I didn't know how great you were."

"I practice lots. I have talent, but practice makes it better. That's what everyone says."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yup. And my friend Kylie is older and she's going to a dance school. That's cool, right?"

"It is. Is that something you want someday?" He didn't know if he liked that idea.

"No. I like books too much. All they do is dance." That's his girl. "I'd get bored."

"What do you want to do when you grow up?"

"I'm going to be a mommy like my mommy and a superhero too. And I want to be a teacher or a doctor. Maybe president."

"Just maybe?"

"Yeah. I can't work too much. Then I wouldn't have any fun." Oh, a child's logic.

"I think you'll be amazing at whatever you do." She snuggled up to him and he took the opportunity to engage her further asking her questions and talking about whatever came to mind. He enjoyed getting to know her more and more each day. He loved his kids more than life itself and he couldn't see anything ever changing that. He wondered though, if they were one of the potential costs Emily was talking about. If their relationship went sour, how would it affect them? On the flip side, if it went well, wouldn't it be worth it? Why didn't she see it that way?

His thoughts stopped once more when the sounds of a stomach rumbling "You hungry?" She nodded. "Breakfast?"

"Can I help?"

"I couldn't do it without you."

"Can I wake up Jack first? He can help too!"

"Go ahead. Tell him we're making Grandma's home fries."

"Grandma?" She questioned. "My mommy's mom?" She didn't cook. Charlie was almost sure of it.

"No, my mom. You've met her before." Twice actually, just not as anything more than a friend of the family.

"Another Grandma?"

"Yeah, you ok with that?"

"I never had two grandmas."

"Well now you do."

"Is she here?" Her eyes wandered around. She didn't see anyone else the whole time she was there.

"No. She lives a few hours away from here."

"Oh." She found herself slightly disappointed.

"You'll get to meet her soon. How about, for now, I teach you one of her recipes?" She smiled and nodded. "Great. Go wake up Jack and we'll get started."

The three of them had a good time working together. It was what he wished he had every day. He could see it. He could picture mornings waking up with Emily, sitting down with coffee and the paper as they woke up a little. The kids would come down in the morning rush hurrying to get ready for school. Weekends would be spent cooking breakfast together and being together.

It could be great. He hoped she saw that too.

That morning, an idea was sparked in his mind. He was telling Emily not to put things off and stop running away, it was time for him to do the same. There was something he had been meaning to do and had yet to approach. It was time.

"Alright kids. As much fun as breakfast was, we made a big mess. Go wash up and get dressed while I clean up."

"Ok." They agreed, the two playing and laughing as they took off. "I'll beat you." Jack promised.

"Nu uh!" She argued.

Hotch had to admit, he liked the sounds of having children in the house. With one, it was still quiet. With two it was like life was finally alit in his apartment. It didn't feel like a crash pad he was forced into after a divorce. It finally felt like a home. They were his home. He found an immense comfort in that.

When they came back down, actually dressed in suitable clothing, matching and everything, socks included, he instructed them to get on their shoes because they were going out. "Where are we going dad?" Jack asked as they got in the car.

"We have to pick up a few last minute things for camp. You start tomorrow Jack."

"Why did I have to come? I could be playing with my toys."

He laughed. "Because you're not old enough to stay on your own, and I need both of your help with something."

"What?" They both asked.

"You'll see." Teasing them with that bit of information was fun… for a moment. But, it ultimately led to an annoyingly large amount of questions as they picked up the few things left on Haley's list that Jack needed for camp.

"Now can we know where we're going?" Jack asked exuberantly. He just wanted to know!

"We're going to look at a few houses." He finally gave in.

Jack was quick to ask, "We're moving?" Charlie, on the other hand, became very quiet all of a sudden.

"Well, maybe. Right now we're just going to look at a few places and see if there's anything we all like."

"Cool. Do I get my own room?" Jack was the only kid in the car that seemed excited. Charlie, she just looked sad.

Hotch assured them he wanted to find a place that gave them each their own room and that they were all comfortable with. A few weeks prior, before things with Emily went down, they narrowed down the houses he should look at. She was a great help, and she had a good eye. That's why, she told herself, he asked her. In reality, he wanted her to be a part of his home too, even if not living with him.

All the houses they looked at were three bedrooms. Some were nicer than the others, others looked so much better in the ads. But one thing held true throughout, he could have a life in any one of them as long as he had his children there too. As he watched them dance around and search the house, claiming their perspective bedrooms, he could feel it. None of the places they looked at were going to be his, but he could feel it. Home was coming to him. He'd find his place. He could see himself and the kids working on a fixer upper and Emily recruiting Morgan to help with the heavy lifting, assuming they'd be on speaking terms by then, and all of them working on turning the house into a dream home.

He could imagine so many things. He just wondered what it'd take to make it happen. What would it take to make that dream come true?

"Did you guys like any of those houses?" He asked as the day came to a close. They were on their way to drop Jack off and then, by the time they got back to the house, Emily would be calling for Charlie.

He listened to their input, though one child was much more forthcoming than the other, as he let his thoughts go. Something Emily said had hit him, in such a random way at a random time, but it led him to believe, before he jumped into making Emily give them a chance, he needed to talk to his son. So, reaching Haley's house, the three of them went inside. Greetings were given and Charlie told her brother goodbye, but before they left, Hotch asked for a moment with his son. Haley agreed to spend a few minutes of girl time with his daughter as he helped his son with his bags.

"Jack." Hotch approached his son as the boy put their purchases on their bed. "Can I talk to you a minute?"

"Ok dad."

"I know there have been a lot of changes in your life lately, and I'm sorry for all of that." He apologized.

"It's ok daddy. Mom says that we have to adjust to change and I'm so good at it." That was just the thing, he shouldn't have to be so good at it.

"We're both very proud about the way you've handled it all." He ruffled his son's hair. "But I don't want to make any big changes before talking to you."

"Are you changing something dad?"

"You seemed happy that I might get a house. Would you be happy with that?"

"Yeah! My room's too small to share with Charlie. She should have her own. She's a girl."

"Ok." He laughed. "I'll make sure you both have your own room when I find a place."

"Cool. And a blue room? Can it be blue? Or green? Or green and blue?"

"We can pick out colors when the time comes."

"Yay!"

"Jack… Would you be ok if I dated someone? If there was a woman in my life the way mom used to be?"

"Would she be my new mom?" Jack asked with confusion. What did he mean?

"No, you're mom is your mom. No one and nothing can change that. I love your mom. You know that. I want to know how you feel about me dating." He should've asked before starting with Beth in the first place. Emily was right. Their decisions effected everyone, their children most of all. And it wasn't like Emily could just be cut from his life if things went sour. So Jack's permission before moving forward was necessary.

"Who are you going to date?"

"If it's ok with you, there's someone very special I want to go out with."

"Emily?" Jack asked plainly, not blinking an eye.

"How did you guess that?" Hotch was curious. Was it that obvious to everyone? Everyone but them…

"Don't be stupid dad. You stare at her and she stares at you and all the people in the movies mom likes always do that before they kiss. Do you want to kiss her?"

All the time. "Yeah, I think I do."

"Gross. Grownups kiss too much, but you can kiss her if you want. I like Emily. I don't want to kiss her, maybe on the cheek, but not like you want to. If you want to kiss her, you should kiss her."

"Ok…"

"I like her."

"Me too son, me too."

Happy with the way things went, Hotch kissed his son goodbye and told him to have lots of fun at camp. "I'll miss you." He added, but Jack assured him they'd be ok. His dad had Charlie to keep him company, so he wouldn't be lonely and he would be with his friends.

Speaking of Jack's little sister, Hotch noticed she hadn't said a whole lot that day and he had to wonder why. What was going on in that head of hers? Was she pulling away like her mother tended to do? Was she keeping her emotions in a box? What was she thinking about? Clearly, she got the overthinking genes from both her parents, not exactly a good thing.

"What's wrong sweetheart? Do you not want me to move?" He asked her after helping her ready for bed.

Instead of answering, she asked her own question. "Is mommy moving with you?"

"Into the new house? No… No, mommy has her own house."

"Am… am I moving with you?"

"As much as I would love to have you live with me all the time, no. You live with mommy."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why don't we all live together?"

"It's complicated."

She groaned. "I don't like when grownups say that."

"Ok…" It wasn't like he could blame her. No one liked that answer. "Not all parents live together with their kids."

"Don't you love us?"

Without thinking it over, he answered immediately, "I love you both very much." Wow, he did. He loved her. He loved Emily… "But, that doesn't mean we're going to live together." He was glad she accepted that answer and moved on.

"Are you going to move really far away?"

"I could never move far from you and Jack. Ever." He spent a little more time talking it over with her before Emily's call finally came in and, after a brief exchange, he left Charlie to talk to her.

The day in England started late. With the time difference, Emily's plane didn't arrive until the afternoon.

"Clyde!" Emily yelled as she exited the gate at London Heathrow Airport.

"Darling!" He responded immediately sweeping her into a hug. "Good to have you here."

"It's good to be here again."

"No faux accent this time."

"No need for that." She used the accent. "I'm not here for business."

"Ah, pleasure then." He smiled. "We should get on that. Let's get you to the flat."

"Bags first."

"How dare I forget?" They spent a good hour at baggage claim before they got everything and he chivalrously offered to carry them. "You really are a girl aren't you love?"

"I sure hope you knew that all along."

"Must you really bring so much for a week here?"

"A week here and a week with my mother, plus some of Charlie's stuff. And you've heard me talk about my mother. Who knows what she has planned. I need my options."

"Indeed you do."

Clyde paid close attention to her, giving her a good look over every now and again; nothing suspicious on his part, but just enough to gage where her head was. Arriving at his home and offering her some tea, the two settled down on the balcony to enjoy the summer evening. "Are we going to address that nasty little bruise on your face or am I meant to ignore it?" He finally asked.

She knew it was coming. "It's nothing."

"You got it on the job then?"

"Not really."

"Clearly you didn't punch yourself… Did someone do that to you?"

"_There's something we need to talk about Derek."_

"_Uh oh. Am I in trouble?" He joked. _

"_It's not a joke Derek."_

"_Alright." His smile faltered. "What's going on?"_

"_I want you to hear me out ok? Without jumping to conclusions or making rash judgments. Just, just really don't overthink things."_

"_What's this about?"_

"_It has to do with me… and Charlie…"_

"_I'm listening."_

_In between their exchanges, not stopping their combat, Emily eased into the topic. "I told you we've been seeing her father lately…"_

"_Yeah, said you were letting that jack ass back into your life."_

"_Morgan. Seriously. He's a good guy."_

"_Forgive me for not being on board that train."_

"_What I'm trying to say is… He is…"_

"_An ass." Derek finished. _

"_No… Look I know you have these ideas about him and I did nothing to fix that…"_

"_He upset you. He hurt you. How does that make him a good guy?"_

"_Because he is… I hurt him too… a lot more than he hurt me. I didn't tell him about her. He didn't know to be there. That's on me."_

"_And he still messed with your head after he knew. I don't know why you're defending him."_

"_Because…" She said as he threw a hard jab… "He doesn't deserve your ridicule. And I can't tell you who he is if you're going to be a dick about it."_

"_Oh, so now you're going to tell me who he is?" He laughed, just continuing with their bout. "What changed?"_

"_Honestly… so much." Their sparring was slow and not at all to their usual high geared pace, just enough to keep them going as they talked. "I know I've kept… a lot… from you in the past, but I don't want to do that anymore. I feel like we lost so much of our friendship. And it's my fault. But I don't want it to be that way. I want us to be like we used to be."_

"_We can get there."_

"_Right… I'm glad you think so too. That's what I want. So how do we get there?"_

"_You have to start letting me in. Next time I ask you to trust me and let me help you… let me."_

"_I'll do my very best." She promised. "I want you to know, Derek, that I didn't keep everything from you because I didn't trust you. I wanted to let you in, to let you all in."_

"_Then why didn't you."_

"_Because… Because it felt like I had to."_

"_Why? To protect us?"_

"_Yes." She could tell the answer wasn't what he wanted. The conversation was hitting a nerve with him, evidenced by his increased speed. _

"_Maybe we didn't want protecting."_

"_No, maybe not. But I did. I had secrets… I'm going to have secrets that I can never tell. That's part of my past. But I want to tell you what I can."_

"_What I don't get, Em, is keeping her a secret. I heard your song and dance about protecting her and the father not knowing… But what did telling us have to do with that? It's not like we saw the guy. Us knowing had no effect on him."_

"_But it did." She said quickly._

"_Yeah? How's that?"_

"_Because… Because we work with him." She said weakly. The moment of truth was approaching and she was nervous. She was realizing, while the gym may have been a place they both found comfortable, a place they used to go to together all the time, it wasn't the ideal situation for the conversation. Flying fists and surprise information catching you off guard spells disaster._

"_Very funny." He laughed. "That ass hole's no agent."_

"_Stop calling him that!" She said in the heat of things. "He's your boss!" That wasn't how it was meant to go. _

"_What?!" He exclaimed. Her words came out just as his hand went for a head shot. And, in the shock of the words that left her mouth, both parties stunned, he couldn't stop it and she couldn't block it._

"_Damn it Derek!" She whined, her hand on her face. "When I said bring it, I didn't mean your fist to my face."_

"_I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Are you ok?" She pushed him away. "I'm fine." _

"_Crap. You're bleeding." If he didn't feel guilty before…_

"_I am? Is it bad?" She didn't want to have to explain that. _

_He gently took ahold of her chin and looked closer. "I don't think it'll need stitches, but you'll have a nice bruise."_

"_Great…" She allowed him to guide her to the benches so he could help her out. _

"_I'm sorry…"_

"_I know…" She said quietly, searching for his eyes to add, "Me too."_

_Tight lipped, he looked her over. "Are you alright?"_

"_I'm ok… Are you?"_

"_I don't know."_

"_Please talk to me Morgan."_

"_I don't know what to say."_

"_Tell me you don't hate me for keeping this from you… Tell me you can forgive me. Just tell me where your head's at. Tell me nothing has changed." That they were still a team…_

"_Are you dating him?" He asked as he took the offered ice from a gym attendant and applied it to her face._

"_No… No, we never dated."_

"_Do you want to?" She shied away from him. _

"_If I did, what would you think about that?"_

"_You can't do that."_

"_Wh-why?"_

"_When did you become this liar Em? I love you but I don't know how to trust you anymore. I want to, I really do… I've known you for a long time, but after this year, I feel like I don't know you at all."_

"_I'm sorry." She was holding it in. Her face hurt. Her heart hurt more. _

"_Hotch Emily… It's Hotch…" He couldn't wrap his mind around it. "This team is hanging by a thread with Strauss. We've been thrown one hurdle after another with you. And we roll with it because we love you, but when is it going to end? What's gonna come out next?"_

"_Derek…"_

"_No, you know what…" He paused. He didn't want to say anything he'd regret. Everyone involved was still someone he cared about and worked with. He didn't want to hurt them, but he was hurting. "You should go."_

"_I don't want to leave things like this."_

"_Go take care of yourself and I'll see you at the recital."_

"_Morgan…"_

"_You need to go Emily. I need to work this out and calm down. I don't know what hurts more; that I trust you with my life and you can't trust me with anything or that I'm the last to know. That's what last night with Reid was about right? JJ and Rossi obviously knew. He doesn't miss a beat and JJ did know about Charlie before any of us. I'm guessing Garcia found out somewhere along the way. And if she's keeping a secret…" There was no need to finish that. The blonde didn't know how to keep secrets… unless she felt she really had to or it was no one's business (but hers of course). He shook his head, clearly angry and upset. "Are you actually telling me because you trust me or is it just a necessity?"_

"_Derek I've always…"_

"_No." He knew what she was going to say. "You didn't. If you did, this wouldn't be happening right now. Everybody has their secrets… But you… You're a vault. I don't know if half the things you've said over the years are true anymore."_

"_Derek…" _

"_I come to you time and time again asking you what's wrong, asking you to trust me, to let me be your friend. It's all a lie."_

"_It wasn't… It's not. I love you Derek. You mean so much to me."_

"_Yeah? Well it doesn't feel like it."_

"_I'm sorry." Her voice pleaded for his forgiveness. _

"_You should go. I need to work this out before I get to the recital."_

"_You… You're still coming?" Did that mean he forgave her?_

"_You may not be my favorite person right now and I don't know how I feel about seeing him, but I love that little girl. I told her I'd be there and I don't go back on my word."_

"_I know you don't. Thank you."_

"_I don't get it Em."_

"_Get it?"_

"_For years, you kept her from us. We forgave that. In your world, it made sense. You were even trying to protect her. With Doyle out there, I guess I understood that. But then you kept her father from her… Hotch is a lot of things… But a bad dad? I don't think so."_

"_I never said he was…"_

"_I didn't think he was… Until I saw how much he hurt you. All the times you cried over his actions."_

"_It was my fault… I made a mess and… How was he supposed to react? How would you?"_

"_If one of my one night stands told me she had my kid, I'd be skeptical, but I'd handle it like a man. I wouldn't run away or push her away, I'd make it work. I sure as hell wouldn't look at her like trash for raising my kid all those years. I'd be pissed as hell, but I wouldn't take it out on the kid."_

"_You think he looks at me like trash?" She felt a pang in her heart. She was afraid he'd look at Hotch differently, and he did, but she didn't put much worry into him looking at her differently. She felt she'd deserve whatever came her way. But she didn't expect his words to hurt so much. Was that how he saw her?_

"_Come on Em… Don't you?" Once he cooled down, he's realize he didn't mean it. It was just a culmination of left over feelings about her time spent with Doyle and now this… _

"_No… No I don't. And I think I'm going to go before either of us say anything we regret. He's the father of my daughter. And he's our boss. I had my reasons for doing what I did. Were they good ones? Probably not, but it felt that way at the time. I trapped myself in a corner and that was the only way I could try to get out. What I did was wrong, the way he reacted could've been better… But really put yourself in his shoes. No matter what, we're still a team Morgan. He's still our boss. Remember that when you see him."_

"_Some boss he is. Drill sergeant at work, ass at home. This team is so fucked. Do you have any idea how messed up this all is?" He was trying to understand it all and not doing it very well at all. He was angry, of course, and upset with both involved. They didn't tell the team, which was understandable for a little while. But she had years to do what needed to be done. He talked to her, told her things, and she kept everything from him. And, he thought as he searched his brain, neither party looked very good in the situation. Both appeared to have made many mistakes and it all added up to faults and blaming. It formed opinions; strong opinions. _

_Sadly, knowing that it wasn't going to be resolved in one sitting, Emily "I better go."_

"_Wait, Em." He called. _

"_What Morgan?"_

"_Answer one thing for me."_

_She stopped. "Anything."_

"_Do you love him?"_

"_What?"_

"_Do you love him? Is he worth breaking this team apart? Because that's what you'd be doing. Maybe you could get past the rules. No one listens to it and people fraternize within the bureau, but if things go wrong… If you guys don't work, we break. That fit we have now just stops fitting. Is it worth that?"_

_The sad thing was… She couldn't answer. Was it worth it? Was there a choice? And he didn't get the answer, just the back of her head walking away. There'd be brief apologies shared later that day, but the things said would stick with both of them._

"You let him land a shot Love? I thought I taught you better than that." Clyde poked fun.

"I wasn't expecting it. I let my guard down." She explained. "It will heal."

"Ah, never an easy thing for you, letting go, exposure."

"And now I kind of wish I didn't do it."

"I don't believe that." He said whole heartedly. Much like himself, she was a very closed off individual. The job they had forced them to get close fast and rely on one another. Eventually, that became a lasting open friendship. But that was a very secluded bubble they found themselves in. Not just anyone could come in.

"No?"

"No. Care to know why?"

"You'd tell me either way."

"Because I know you. You'd hate yourself for keeping it from them any longer. If I know you like I feel I do, you likely aren't happy with yourself as is."

"You got me there."

"You can't change what has already happened. You can't redo what's already done. You taught me not to dwell in my regrets Em. Perhaps you should heed your own advice. We live in the present, not the past. Don't beat yourself up about that which you have no control over. " He handed her a liquor glass to replace the tea. The night called for something stronger. "Don't overthink it all. Forget about all the rest and simply figure out what would make you happy."

"And how do I do that? My decisions can affect so many other people and so many other parts of my life." She stopped. "And…"

"And what?"

"Do you think it could ever really work Clyde?"

"Could what work Darling?"

"Aaron and me… as a couple? Do you think that has any chance of ever working out?" She asked quietly, her eyes searching out at the London skyline.

"Do you doubt it could?"

"I don't know." She told him. "It could, I suppose… But it could go terribly wrong too. At what cost is it to even try?"

"Why are you thinking so negatively? You were never all that bright and shiny, but never such a pessimist either."

"I just… worry."

"About?"

"Everything."

"Someone say something to you? Should I put on my boxing gloves and, what is it they say, put him through the ringer?"

"A lot of some ones said a lot of things Clyde."

"Care to be more forthcoming? Was it Morgan?"

"Him too, but mostly Reid."

"Ah, the genius. What did he say?"

"When I told him about Charlie, he took it very well. He asked me why I didn't tell him before and asked if I trusted him, so I explained things as best I could. It wasn't a perfect reaction, but it wasn't horrible… Then he goes with what he knows."

"And that would be?"

"He tells me all the statistics on interoffice relationships and all about our dysfunction. And I don't think he meant it as anything more than him being him talking with me… But he asked what would happen with the team. He asked what problems it could cause… what happens to the rest of them? It's just he brought a lot up that I need to think about and consider."

"All you need to consider is whether your happiness is important. If they truly love you, they'll all support it, whether they approve or not."

"Do you support it?"

"Oh Darling… I've been supporting this long before you realized it was what you want. My life should become much easier now that you have." He kissed her cheek. "I'm glad you're here Love. Unfortunately, I have a meeting I must attend in the morning. I just couldn't get out of it. So, I will be turning in for the night. As always, make yourself at home. I love you. Don't say up all night thinking either."

"I won't."

"You lie."

"I won't, I promise." And it was a promise she'd keep. She would think, of course, but for the first time, what she wanted was becoming clear. And apparently, her subconscious would be sending signals her way too in the coming days. Long after her late, on her part, call to Charlie and into the wee hours of the morning when her body finally caught up with the time zone, Emily fell into a peaceful sleep. The rest of her week in England, she hoped, would consist of easy days where clarity would come easy and stress would melt away. She'd see how close to that she came.

As for Hotch, his time with Charlie was going well. On Wednesday morning, he got up nice and early, packed a small bag for both of them, threw it in the trunk of his car, and prepared an easy to go breakfast before waking Charlie. "I sleepy daddy. Go away." She grumbled. It was much too early for her liking.

"I know sweetheart. But we have to get you dressed and ready. You can sleep in the car."

"Where we going?" She asked, her voice muffled by the pillow.

"You'll see."

The idea of a surprise was enough to get the tired child up and about. She zombied her way through getting dressed and all the normal routine before Hotch helped her get strapped into her booster seat and on the road they went. They travelled for a few hours, a trip made a little longer by the several bathroom and food stops they had to make along the way. By the time they arrived it was mid-afternoon and the nerves he'd been ignoring finally hit. Taking a deep calming breath, he went to pull his sleeping daughter from the backseat.

With her securely in his arms, he made his way to the door. His finger lingered over the doorbell before he finally pressed it. Waiting, the nerves just wouldn't calm. It would be ok, he reminded himself. "Aaron! You're here." She greeted excitedly, almost waking Charlie. When she saw the child, she felt confused her brows furrowing, but she held off on questions. "Come in. Come in. What are you waiting for?"

"Is the room ready?"

"Yes, you know where it is." He excused himself to go lie Charlie down and let her nap. It was a long ride.

"Hi mom." He finally greeted her properly. "Sorry." He apologized. "She made it through the entire ride wide awake, but ten minutes from the house and she conks out. I was hoping she'd be awake when we got here."

"Aaron." She stopped him, signaling for him to join her on the couch for a cup of coffee. "That wasn't Jack."

"No, no that wasn't Jack." He agreed without going into further detail.

"When you called and said you were coming for a visit and asked if I could get Sean's old room ready… I assumed you were bringing Jack or even… Maybe a significant other and you were just trying to placate me with the second room. That's a child."

"She is a child." He confirmed.

"Aaron." His mother scolded. "Not that I mind… but why? Who?" She asked

"I've been meaning to talk to you about this for some time now. Actually, I'm glad she's napping so I can do this."

"Do what Aaron? Who is she?"

"She's… She's your granddaughter." He didn't know whether to look away or look for her reaction. He was just putting it right out there and that would be that.

"My… my granddaughter… But how? Who? What?"

"There's a lot I need to tell you. But… She's my daughter."

"Oh Aaron…" She was taken aback, her body flooded with a sense of euphoria. Another grandbaby… a granddaughter. She finally had another and one of each to boot. So, clearly it didn't happen quite the way she imagined it to, but it did. And the happy feeling was stronger and more persistent than anything else. "A little girl Hotchner… Tell me everything." The smile on her face washed away any and all nerves he may have had. "Everything there is to know about her." And how she came to be in his life.

"She's… she's absolutely amazing."

"Any girl of yours would be amazing. Tell me more."

"She's so beautiful and funny and curious. The way she sees the world is… it's so fascinating… And God, she couldn't be any more like her mother if she tried. Smart as a whip and… she just…" As a mother watching her son talk about his child, Helen couldn't have been more proud. The smile he had when discussing her was infectious. She knew, in that moment, no matter what the story was, that child and her mother were family. They'd be as much a part of her life as her children were, just like Haley and Jack were. And she could listen to the details forever. "You should see Jack with her. They took to each other better than I could've hoped. He's so protective of her already."

"You were the same way with your brother." She informed him. Already, he told her stories about the girl and facts, but he seemed to glance over some of the most basic information. "How old is she? What's her name?" Helen had yet to see more than the dark hair on the girl's head.

"You've met her before." He answered, this time looking away.

"I did? When?"

"Actually, twice now."

"Twice?"

"That's… She's Charlie. She's five, and she's my daughter with… with Emily."

"Emily? The one I met on your team? The one that was in the hospital? The one at Sean's opening?"

"Yeah, that's her."

"But… Why didn't you say anything? Why didn't she?"

"I know it's confusing, but we had a lot of sorting and figuring out to do on our own before we told everyone. Somewhere along the line, I just lost track of my plan to tell you." He looked and sounded sincere, as he was, but the truth she saw was enough to want to cut him some slack. Who was she kidding, the fact that she finally got another grandchild was enough for her to grant him that. "I'll answer any questions you have the best I can."

There was a give and take session where she asked what she needed to ask regarding the situation and how it all came to be. And he answered with what he could. There were still some things a guy just didn't talk about with his mother, but he was forthcoming and truthful.

"Emily seems like a good woman who made some bad choices." She told him. "And I'd like to be mad at her for keeping this sweet little girl from her family, from you and me, your brother, hers… but, from what you tell me they were the wrong choices made from a good thought. I'm choosing to accept that that's the past… I just want to get to know this blessed child as my granddaughter. As your daughter."

"You're going to love her mom."

"I already do son. I already do."

"Daddy?!" Charlie called out for her father. Waking up in an unfamiliar place was frightening. But her voice alone, no matter the tone, warmed the older woman's heart.

"Go get your baby. Bring her to me." The excitement in her voice couldn't be missed. The situation didn't matter, the past had no influence, all that she cared about was making that little girl comfortable and happy and part of her family.

Hotch responded to Charlie's calls telling her he was coming pacifying her as he rushed to her. "Hey sweetheart. Have a good nap?"

"Are we here? Are we at your mommy's?" He let the cat out of the bag at some point during the ride. She was persistent in her pursuit of truth; a little agent in the making, already a skilled interrogator.

"Yeah." He picked her up off the bed and wiped the sleep from her eyes. "She's in the other room and excited to play with you again."

"Does she still like me?"

"Oh sweetie, she already loves you." She smiled and nestled herself into his body. "Ready?" Charlie nodded into his shoulder as she shyly hid there. She was nervous and she didn't know why. "Mom." He called out as he walked into the living room. "This, is Charlie. I know you've met her, but this is my daughter." He said it with so much pride that it didn't even matter that he was repeating himself.

"Hi Charlie." She went to greet her. "Do you remember me?"

"Uh huh. You played with me and Jack on his birthday."

"I did. And you know what?"

"What?"

"I had a lot of fun. Maybe we can talk a little and you can tell me what kind of things you like so we can play some more."

"Ok." She warmed up, finally separating herself from her father. "Do you like tea party? Or, or drawing?" Her eyes widened with a hopeful wonder. "Those are my favorite."

"Then you're in luck little lady. I just so happen to have a vintage tea set I was saving for a special child that came into my life. And I think that girl is you."

"Me?"

"Yeah. Want to see it?"

"Yes please."

In no shock, the two got along very well. As much as Helen loved her grandson, she loved having a girl in her life. Her entire life was spent around mostly men. Her mother died when she was a teen leaving her to be raised by a father, she married her husband not long after high school, she raised two sons, and she was blessed with a beautiful grandson. But, there were things you just couldn't do with boys. You couldn't braid their hair or play dress up. You couldn't do the tea parties and fun frilly things. Sure, it happened from time to time with boys, but it wasn't often, and it didn't happen with any of her boys. So she jumped at the chance to finally do all of that with Charlie. She wasn't going to waste a second.

"Daddy, play too?"

"Yes Aaron, join us." She also wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to see her tough guy son break out his feminine side. That would be a waste of an opportunity.

The three of them spent the next few days really bonding. He loved watching two important people in his life interact as more than a friendly acquaintance kind of way, but as a family should. He didn't have the easiest childhood, what with his father's philandering and abusive tendencies and then his eventual death from cancer, but his mom was always there for him and his brother. He was happy he was the one that gave her, her first grandchild and then her first granddaughter as well. He was happy he was the one that could help bring some life back into her aging body. And Helen, well, she was just happy her son was happy. She hadn't seen anyone besides Jack bring back such a smile to his face for some time now, but Charlie did that for him. She had a feeling there was another someone who helped with that too. But that was something for her to get into later. Until then, she was enjoying getting to know this new little being more, and the more she did, the more family resemblance she saw.

"Do you like cooking Charlie?" She could always pass on a few family recipes to a willing learner too. That always made her happy.

Emily couldn't say her time away was going quite the same way. She was enjoying it, of course, but she missed her girl. She missed her friends. She missed it all. At the same time, she loved being around Clyde. He was her original family, the first person who helped her understand what that meant and gave her the sense of belonging. The two worlds, one in London and one in Virginia, just didn't seem to mesh. To have one constantly meant little of the other. It just wasn't fair. All her family should be one, but it all felt like she had to choose favorites.

Clyde though, like he usually was, was being great to her. He took her out to pubs and for fancy dinners. He shopped with her, a dreaded pastime for him, but something he'd do for her. "I'll be your bellhop, your bag boy." He told her. Who was she to turn him down? That was what she called excellent service.

Midweek, she joined him for a very special meeting, thinking going in there, that she'd find clarity. In the end, it just made her more confused. She was being given the chance of a lifetime, but that would mean giving up something she worked so hard to build. But wasn't this chance the ultimate goal? …Career wise. What was more important? What was she to do? Could she pass it up? She didn't see who would. She was basically being wooed. The money, relocation costs, the perks… Who would say no?

"That went swimmingly." Clyde whispered in her ear as he guided her out of the restaurant.

"It did. I didn't expect… any of that."

"You're a wanted woman Love." Too wanted maybe.

"Yeah…"

"I told you not to come, to say you were busy."

"I thought it would help me decide."

"But it only made you more confused."

"Exactly." Which was what the guy wanted. He wanted to make the offer so perfect it was near impossible to say no. Clyde tried to warn her.

"You'll figure it out. Your heart just has to catch up with your mind. You know what you want Darling. When you stop analyzing it all, it will become clear."

"I hope you're right."

"You shall see."

She went to bed that night overthinking, wondering if making the leap, whichever one she chose, or not making any at all, would prove best. What was the fallout of each choice? The benefits? The everything… everything had a cause and effect and she tried to figure it all out. Needless to say, she didn't find answers that night. She, instead, fell into a restless slumber and even found herself in a nightmare or two. She swore her ulcer was going to eat a hole through her stomach.

But there was no time limit on figuring things out. Clarity could come at any moment, in any form.

"_Mama!" The small voice called. "Dada!"_

_The whine that followed really pulled them out of bed. "I got it." She turned to her partner._

"_You sure? You didn't sleep much last night."_

"_Neither did you." She said suggestively. _

"_True, you go. I'm beat."_

_Smiling, she walked down the hall and peered through the other doors on the way. No one else was awake, yet thankfully. "Hi baby."_

"_Mama!"_

"_You couldn't sleep huh? Too excited for your big day." She walked over to the crib where the baby's hands opened and closed. _

"_Up." He told her. _

"_Yeah, come to mama big boy." She pulled the little boy into her arms, his little head resting on her shoulder as she ran her hand through his thick, dark mane. "Happy birthday. I can't believe you're one today, can you?" _

"_I know I can't." Both heads moved to follow the voice. "Happy birthday buddy!" He kissed his son. "He's getting so big."_

"_I know. It makes me sad. I miss him being so little before he could walk and throw things and love you more than me." She joked._

_Wrapping them both in a hug from behind, his mouth at her ear, he whispered, "We can always work on having another."_

"_He turns one and you want me to pop out another. I'm not a baby machine."_

"_But we're really good at making them."_

"_Mmm… We are." She cooed. "Really good."_

"_So we should get on that."_

"_You mean you want to get on me."_

"_That too."_

"_I think he's hungry." She told him. "And we already have three kids."_

"_Then what's one more?"_

"_You really want another?"_

"_I'd love it. Wouldn't you? Maybe Charlie and Jack could get a little sister this time. And our little boy here would have a sibling closer to his age. It would be great."_

"_You just want to see me pregnant again."_

"_You're always beautiful, but even more so when you're carrying __**my**__ child."_

"_You're possessive."_

"_I'm in love with a gorgeous woman, living the dream. I should be possessive."_

"_When did you become such the charmer?"_

"_About the time I married you."_

"_Smooth." She put her son down in his play pen. "I'll tell you what." She smirked and walked over to him. Kissing him, she seductively told him, "I'm going to get him a bottle. When I come back up, a shower will be running and there will be room for one other person."_

"_Oh really?"_

"_Really, and if you're really good, we might even have time to work on the next little Hotchner. At the very least, we can practice."_

"_I like practice."_

"_Me too." She stepped away and playfully swatted his butt. "Better go get that shower ready huh? Only so much time before the others wake up. No practice with the kids running around."_

Thousands of miles and several time zones apart, and they both awoke from similar dreams. It was a good dream. They could both see a future like that; them and their kids. Happy. They could be happy.

But there was an alternative to that. There was a broken dream and a family torn apart after a nasty split. He was lucky with Haley. They were amicable. He wasn't lucky enough to get that twice. Really, who was? Even though there was a lot to think about and just as many reasons not to, they realized their feelings were real and strong, and also kind of powerful. As a team, as a family, all their lives were intertwined. Their decisions, their choices acted as dominos, but not all dominos were bad. In any game, there was a winner at the end. And the losers didn't have to come up empty. That was something they were just coming to grasp.

It didn't have to end the world if things didn't end with the perfect image of happily ever after. That wasn't how the world worked. There could still be happy though. Imperfection was more perfect than any idea of perfection ever could be in the first place.

No matter what the outcome would be, they both realized they wanted something to happen between them. They just had to get there and make everything else work too. There was a lot in their lives they didn't want to lose. So, there was still some consideration to do. It was just a dream and there was no guarantee their futures would look anything like that or that they'd have any future together at all. And even if they did, what did the rest of their life look like? Were they happy? Did they still have their jobs?

It was safe to say though, the good dream had Aaron wide awake in the middle of the night. It was their last night there. He wanted to get an early start and have a quiet few days at home with Charlie before his race on Saturday and Charlie's departure after that. But that vision of the future made him want it more. To, hopefully, clear his mind a little and get back to bed, he left to fetch some water. Maybe that would help.

"Aaron?" She startled him.

"Mom, what are you doing awake?"

"Me? I heard someone prowling my kitchen. I thought it might be my little sweetheart and needed to check. But it's you." Ouch mom, he thought. "What are you doing up?"

"Just… had a weird dream and couldn't get back to sleep."

"Want to talk to me about it?"

"It was really nothing. It was a good dream actually."

"I can tell by that little grin. You used to do that all the time as a boy. It's how I knew you were having a good dream when you tossed and turned rather than a bad one." Helen pinched his cheek. "Was it about her?"

"Her?"

"Emily." She stated and before he could protest, she continued, "I don't want to hear about it if it's one of those - those sex dreams… but it was about her, wasn't it?"

"I… Why would you think that?"

Without answering, she joined him at the table. "Tell me about Emily. I've spent all this time getting to know your daughter with her, but very little about the mother herself."

"What's there to say?" So much. "She's what I imagine Charlie to be like when she's older. Though, I sincerely hope she's not nearly as stubborn and pigheaded and fiercely independent as her. You've seen Charlie and you've met her, you know she's a beautiful woman. Charlie had to get her looks somewhere, right?" His dimples flared. "She's the type of person that runs herself into the ground trying to take care of everyone else and forgetting to take care of herself unless someone steps in to remind her. She's loyal and so annoyingly independent, but once she lets you in, you never want to do anything to change that…"

"Oh, my boy… You love her… I saw it when you first brought her up after that danger she found herself in, and I see it now when you talk about her. You really love her." It was something she hadn't seen in her son for some time. There was happiness there, buried under the tough exterior and baggage.

"I… I think I do…" He admitted. "If you saw that before, why didn't you say something?" Save him from the mental mindfuck he put himself in.

"Oh Aaron. I'm your mother. If I told you that you were in love with this woman, would you take my word for it? No, no you'd deny it and suppress it just to prove me wrong. This was something you needed to figure out on your own… But I think you did, and I'm glad."

"Me too."

"Does that mean you're together? Is there a future Mrs. Hotchner? Some wedding bells coming your way?"

"Mom…" She was pushing it.

"Alright, alright. So when do I get to see her again? Why didn't you bring her with you this time?"

"She's in Europe, and we're not together. I just wanted to officially introduce you to your granddaughter."

"And I couldn't be happier that you did."

"What's on your mind mom?"

He could tell there was something on her mind. There was something in the way she said that. "You, Aaron, are an incredible man. I remember in high school when you joined that ridiculous play and did some horrible acting just to win Haley's heart… And I saw the heartbreak that came when years later it didn't work out. I love Haley dear. She is a great woman and she gave my son and my grandson happiness. But she was never going to understand your work. You two, for all the love and memories you shared, out grew each other. I so hoped the two of you would make it, but she wanted you to do the 9 to 5 life with no travel and no bad guys. And that just wasn't my boy. This woman though. This Emily, she has to get it because she lives it too. She is with you on the daily grind and understands why you do what you do. So don't be afraid of what could happen. Don't be afraid to put your heart on the line for her and fight for her. Be the romantic I know you can be and win her heart. That little girl deserves to see her parents happy. Jack deserves to see you happy again, to understand that love is more than his the arguments his parents had. And I have a feeling she will do that for you. Maybe you for her too. The way you interact with her is so natural. I saw it in New York. You're drawn to each other and, for whatever reasons, you're fighting it. But instead of fighting each other, fight for each other." She stood and moved to her son. "Think about that my boy. This old woman needs some sleep. I love you."

"I love you too mom."

His mother sure was an enlightened woman. Where was she when the whole mess began? He could've used her wisdom. Taking her words to heart, he felt he could finally get some rest. He turned in for a few more hours before it was time to go. He was sad to leave his mother. Charlie was too. They took to each other the first time they met, and it was only natural they still got on so well.

"Remember what I said Aaron. Do what's best for you. You can get a new job. You can't get a new love. Make that work first. Your family will still be there." She spoke quietly as she squeezed him tight. "And you." The aging woman slowly made her way to Charlie's eye level. "It was very nice spending time you. Don't be a stranger with Grandma, you hear?"

"I had fun Grandma."

"How 'bout a hug for this old lady?"

"You're not old." She said as she easily slid into Helen's arms. "You're pretty."

"Oh Aaron. Isn't she a doll?" She smiled. "I love you both. Have a safe trip home."

A few final goodbyes and one last hug, and they were on the road again. As planned, the rest of their time together was quiet, just the two of them having some father daughter time and playing games. That kind of thing. Saturday morning, came and it was time for race day. The whole team agreed to be there except for Emily. After their incident – or whatever – and her semi impromptu fleeing of the country, it was clear she wouldn't be able to make it there.

"You're going to do so good daddy! I made you a sign with Jack!"

"You did! Thanks sweetheart."

"Is Jack going to be there? Or Grandma? JJ and Will and Henry? Penny? Or, or Derek and Spencer and Dave?"

"Jack's still at camp and Grandma can't make it, but everyone else should be there." Now that they were on speaking terms again. It was amazing what not avoiding things could accomplish.

"Awesome."

"You're going to stay with them while I race, ok?"

"Ok." She agreed with a nod. Shortly after their arrival and his check in, the rest of the team appeared in one big group. "Penny!" Charlie immediately ran to them, Garcia greedily wrapping her in a hug and engaging her.

"Hey now. Don't forget about Mr. Handsome here."

"Derek!" She switched arms. "I finally get some chocolate."

"I see Miss Garcia here has been teaching you some nicknames." She nodded vigorously. "Be careful with that kid." He winked and set her down.

"Spencer." She hugged him, and as he usually did, he awkwardly returned the gesture. "Mommy read me a story all about the different stars. I'm as smart as you now!"

"Smarter I bet."

They all gathered together, Hotch making his rounds of greetings and everyone wishing him luck. Finally, Garcia saw her opportunity.

"Here's some money." Garcia handed a bill to each of the kids. "Why don't you see if one of these big men will take you to the concession stand and buy you some treats while simultaneously protecting you from those steroid filled gigantamos who clearly ate their Wheaties and don't need to be filling up on whatever junk they have there?" She needed them gone, and, thankfully, Will volunteered himself. The techie waited for Will to depart with the kids before she pulled out her serious face. "Why is Emily not in France?!" Garcia, not so calmly asked JJ.

"What do you mean?"

"Why is she in London?"

"She's in London?" It seemed like a collective question, several voices melding into one.

"And why is she calling me about some guy who turns out to be the head honcho at a different alphabet agency asking me for the deets?" JJ squirmed a bit hoping no one caught it. But they did. "Oh no. You know something. Spill right now missy or I… or I… I max out all your credit cards and take out a second mortgage in your name!" She threatened, but the blonde was still hesitant.

"I don't know…"

"Don't lie to me! I did some digging. Her passport dinged in Heathrow. London has some of the most surveillance cameras in the world. I checked video feed. She met with that guy." She flashed her phone which had a picture of Emily shaking hands with a man they didn't know. "Why?"

"_I love him JJ. I can admit that. But I also have to think of the team and what I've already done to us. I can't just demolish us completely. That can't be on me… Sometimes…"_

"_Sometimes what?"_

"_Sometimes I wonder if the team would be better off without me on it. We're a family, but not all family is meant to work together…"_

Quickly, she assured her friend that wasn't the case. She didn't think too much of it then though, the job offer slipping her mind. She knew Emily was confused and that talking with the guys had her wounded, but she didn't think it would be enough to make her want to leave… It was just something she said; a thought spoken out loud. It wasn't supposed to be more than that, or she hoped.

"Oh no!"

"Oh no? Oh no what? I don't like the sound of that at all."

"She said something before she left… I didn't read between the lines. I thought she was just venting." The group all crowded around her.

"What? What is it?! Speak Sunshine! Speak!"

"She's going to kill me for saying this…"

"But?"

"But she got a job offer… To work for Interpol again… overseas."

"No! She said no right?! She had to have said no. Tell me she said no. Why are you not telling me she said no?!"

"It didn't look like she was going to take it… But…"

"Why is there always a but?"

"But she seemed really confused lately. And… And after what happened with Morgan and Reid…"

"What happened with them?!" Garcia stared them both down. Morgan looked a little guilty, Reid oblivious. If Morgan didn't tell her about it, it had to be bad.

"I think she might be thinking about it… I think she might really do it." The blondes both deflated, a somber note hitting them all.

Hotch's mind was racing with what he heard. What?! He… he couldn't lose her… He couldn't lose either of them… And he wouldn't. He wouldn't allow it. It wasn't even an option. Overseas… He'd never see them. How would he survive that?

"Look." Morgan pulled Hotch aside, but not far enough away to keep the prying ears from overhearing. He was just grateful the kids were getting a slushie with Will. "I know she told you what happened with us. And I know I said some things to you when I stopped by…" They may have patched things up enough to be civil, but there were still issues between them that would just take a little time to blow over. "But you can't let her go. We don't want her to leave. We work because we're a unit. All of us… Together. It doesn't work without her. You need to stop her. You need to… You need to tell her how you feel man."

"Where's this coming from? Is this just because you don't want her to go or do you actually mean it?" It was a far cry from the words he spoke not that long before,

"I'm sorry for my outburst with her. And I'm sorry for the way I handled things with you. I was wrong. I was seeing red. All I could see was that Emily kept another thing from us and so did you. And then she… It was like she was… it was like the team was being threatened and… It doesn't matter. I was worried about me and how I felt. But… I was wrong. You don't need it, but if you want to be with Emily. You have my permission." A chorus pronouncement of "all of ours" rang behind them. "You deserve to be together. To be happy."

"What changed your mind Derek?"

"Charlie." He answered plainly. "I heard her call you daddy… And suddenly, it made sense. She deserves a father in her life. For the most part, you fit the bill. You're a pretty good dad. You have your faults, made your mistakes, but I've known you long enough to know you don't do stupid. You don't make choices without thinking them through, so those mistakes you made with them… I know they weren't to hurt her. It's their business to forgive you. I'm just not going to stay in the way."

"Thank you."

"But remember Hotch. They're our family too. We all love her, just like you. We've got eyes on all of you."

"I got it."

"Good. Now go do your thing and we'll be here cheering you on. But then come up with a way to keep her here. We all have to keep her here."

How was he supposed to run and bike and swim for hours after that? He could be losing his family!

He needed to fix this. He needed to make her see what she had there… with him and their family.

He wouldn't let her run. And he wouldn't run either. She wouldn't be closing off from him. Not this time, not ever again… He wouldn't allow it because none of them could lose her, not even to another continent.

"I have a better idea. But I need your help." He told them. There was no way he'd be able to do the race with that news hanging over him.

And so the quest to keep the team together and their family strong began. What they didn't know was that Emily's mind was already made, with or without whatever came next…

**What's the plan? Oh I can't wait for you to find out. The next chapter makes me happy. It'll be a little bit of a wait, but you'll know when to expect it. If I find time in between everything to write more, I might upload earlier.**

**I'm also sad to say there are only a few more chapters left. Maybe five or so. Knowing me, we can't be sure, so probably a little more. My fingers just get away from me when I type. I'm thinking about a sequel though. I already have an idea, which I happen to love, but I don't know. Anyone interested?**

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**

**greengirl82**** Sorry for your loss. I didn't expect a review from you, though I tend not to expect them from anyone so I'm always pleasantly surprised. I appreciate you taking the time to write one. I'm glad you caught up and have enjoyed it. JJ probably should've gotten more heat for that. If there was room to fit it in in my endlessly long chapters I would've added it. Actually, I did writ out a little scene but it got cut out. **

**Guest**** Thanks so much. They really do need to kiss and get together. That supply closet idea's looking pretty good huh? **

**HPforever-after**** Come on now, if they told her that, what would there be to think about? I'm pretty sure my mind automatically goes to "what's more dramatic" so when thinking ahead, go with that. They really do need to get their shit together though, don't they? Soon… **

**Guest**** Thank you! Junk shall be figured. I swear. Scout's honor. That will be explored to some extent this chapter. **

**finolagrace**** Thank you. Glad you liked it. More has arrived. **

**sourgummycandy**** Aww, that's sweet. Thanks so much. If only it could never end. Bu, soon it will. Thee may be a sequel though if people want it. If not, I may use my ideas as a new story it just won't have Charlie in it, which would be a little sad, no? Honestly, I'm with you on that, sometimes I don't know what to do with those two either. **

**123a456e**** Thank you. New chapter that didn't take months. Yay me. **

**Celina79**** Don't worry about it. Any review is a nice one and very appreciated whether done religiously or sporadically. They can be frustrating though, I agree. I think it makes for a good story though. That may just be me. I love it. Life is frustrating sometimes. Now time to step away from frustrating and work on molding their hearts to one yes?**

**SouthunLady**** Very violent there huh? Should I run and hide so you don't want to punch me? They're both kind of screwed up. They love each other though. They'll figure it out.**


	39. From Paris, With Love

_I do not own Criminal Minds, only the characters I have created in that world._

**I decided to be nice and not make you wait the whole three weeks. **

**It's a little shorter than most of my chapters have been, but still long. And boy do I like it. This chapter was one of my favorites to write. It's so… well you'll see what I mean. It's different. It's… dare I say… well, read and then let me know what you think. **

**Chapter 39: From Paris, With Love **

Emily made up her mind. Clyde was right when he said it would come to her. He tended to know things like that, like her own personal guru; knower of all things Emily. It took some time, but she had it figured it out. What she wanted was clear, and though she had her fears, she knew it was the choice she had to make. This… move, would be what was best for her and Charlie. It was right for them and that was all that mattered. Maybe it would hurt some people. Maybe they wouldn't care. But her mind was made. All that was left was making it official and telling the people she needed to tell.

First, though, she had a plane to catch and a week to get through. Then everybody would be aware of her decision. "I am going to miss you Love."

"Me too. But you'll see me again soon." She promised.

"I will." He had no doubts.

"And Charlie too. I didn't tell her I was coming to see you. She'll be jealous."

"Charlotte is always a lady, the green of envy is not a color she wears."

"You know that's not true. We all have our moments."

"I must say I'm a little green myself. The last time you were in France I happened to pop by for afternoon tea up in the Alps and now you're heading there without me."

"Someone has a job to keep them here." She told him. "Besides, we'll be seeing more of each other. France isn't going anywhere."

"Some days, I miss the old times when things seemed simpler."

"I was pregnant, terrified, paranoid, in a hormone frenzy, and hiding out in the Alps. How is that simpler?"

"I knew how to help you then. Now we're treading in murkier waters Love. New territory for us all and I'm afraid my guidance is limited."

"I'll take what I can get." She hugged him. "You're more helpful than you know. Goodbye Clyde."

"See you soon Emily. Be safe, and try not to knock anyone out in the bathroom this time." He winked at the nod to their past.

"I'll do my best."

The boarding call notice sounded through the airport as she headed for the terminal. Not too much longer after that and she was putting her French to good use. Getting her bags, she immediately searched the area for a sign with her name written on it. In the sea of family members waiting to get to their loved ones was a very Rossi looking man holding a sign that read "Prentiss."

In a thick French accent, he spoke to her. "Mademoiselle Prentiss?"

"Oui."

"I am Donovan. I take you to Ambassador."

She nodded and he gestured for her bags. "Merci Donovan."

She had forgotten how much she missed this kind of relaxing travel, even if it wasn't pure vacation, where she got to explore without looking over her shoulder or running for her life or even trying to reacclimate to yet another move. It was nice. All these places were her second homes. She grew up in so many of these places, so just getting back to them, for whatever reason, was a welcomed experience.

Donovan offered to take her multitude of bags inside once they arrived and she wasn't in a position to turn down help. Her mother, in true Elizabeth fashion, greeted her with a kind hug, a double cheek kiss, and a brunch spread. "It's so nice to have you here Emily." Despite their growth, both as people and mother and daughter, they still weren't, by any means, that typical warm mother-daughter pair.

"Thank you mother. I'm glad we can have this time."

"I know everyone will be here tomorrow, so I was thinking, if you're not too jetlagged, that we could go to that bakery you used to love as a child and pick up some of our old favorites for everyone. Maybe we could go out for a nice dinner beforehand. It'll give is a little alone time to catch up and just spend some time together."

"I'd be happy to."

"Great." The two of them spent the rest of their mother daughter time truly trying to get to understand and learn about each other. It was something they were never really in the place to do before. It was so different from the relationship they always had. She learned her mother loved the color yellow all her life because her mother would always have sunflowers in the house. Every new housing they found themselves in as Emily was growing up always had them in there too. "It was what made home, home." The Ambassador explained. "I hoped it would help you feel that way too." In some ways, it did. To that day, whenever she passed a sunflower, she was struck with a vivid image of her mother's antique vase full with bloom.

They were, for the first time, experiencing each other for the person they were at that moment, not who they were in the past or who they weren't. It wasn't about who they wished the other to be. They were simply learning. Their relationship was still flawed, and it probably always would be. The past couldn't be erased, but they were both really trying. And in that, realized that it didn't take much effort to just be themselves. They would disagree, with them it'd probably be often, and they would argue or be angry, but they would get over it. They wouldn't allow years to go by without talking or allow them to alienate each other to the point where it felt necessary to hide such crucial parts of themselves from the other.

"Mom, I had a really nice day with you today. I'm glad we had a little time just the two of us."

"Oh, me too dear. I know we talk more now and we've had our moments, but this felt different. We've never really done this."

"Makes you wish we didn't spend so many years jumping down each other's throats."

"I do wish we could have that time back, but it doesn't matter. I had little to do with it, but I'm so proud of the strong, beautiful woman you have become; of the incredible mother you are because I know you didn't learn that from me. And I thank god every day for you and that beautiful daughter of yours that brought us together."

"Me too." And not to ruin the good feelings they had building… "Speaking of… Can I ask one favor of you mother?"

"What do you need dear?" Elizabeth asked as she poured them a night cap.

"I know you're still curious about Charlie's dad and our relationship with him."

"You have a relationship with him?"

"Mom…"

"Ok, I'm sorry, continue."

"I know you want to know everything, and if she brings him up and you want to ask her about him, that's fine. But please don't drill her. Don't put her on the other said of Ambassador Prentiss. She's your granddaughter, so please don't try to pull details out of her and get a name. If you have any questions, you ask me, please. I just, I want to be as honest as I can with you." They weren't at a secret sharing completely open stage quite yet. "But I don't want to ruin what progress we've made either." The bounty of disapproval and scolding for sleeping with the boss wasn't going to win her any brownie points with the Ambassador. That much she was willing to wager on.

"I just have one question." She stated.

"Ok…" Emily agreed hesitantly, waiting for the ball to drop.

"Does he treat you well? You and Charlie, does he take care of you and treat you as you should be treated?"

"Yes." There was no hesitation.

"Then, any and all of my questions will be within the normal realm of curiosity. I know you're just beginning to learn to trust me – and I wish I could say trust again but I doubt you ever have – but I don't want to condemn your choices or judge you, I just want to be a part of your lives. I know you'll tell me everything when you're ready."

"Thanks mom." It was a good moment for the two of them, strengthening the ties they were trying to forge between them. They were getting there.

"I love you Em."

"I – I love you too mom." Her mother said it before. She was told she was loved, but this time felt real, like it wasn't one of her mother's obligations, but something she truly meant.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I must be getting to bed. There are some foreign dignitaries flying in tomorrow and I have to meet with a few people at the embassy in regards to this dinner we're having this week. I do hope you and your friends will join me. I bought a table."

"I would love to join you mother."

"You lie. I know you never liked these events."

"But I did them, for you."

"I so appreciate it. I do."

"I will ask JJ about it once she arrives. Will you be home in time to see them once they get here?"

"I should be."

"Ok, goodnight mother."

"Goodnight Emily."

Early the next morning, she could hear her mother leaving. Deciding against going back to sleep, excited for her daughter's arrival, Emily jump started her morning. A French roast brewed as she became more familiar with the house. She'd give some credit to her mother's job. It may have caused some problems for her growing up, but they never skimped on housing. It was one of the few perks she supposed. She didn't want to dwell on the issues of the past that job caused them though. Instead, she wanted to take her coffee out into the front balcony and enjoy it under the morning sun.

She was in for quite the surprise though.

Innocently sitting on the veranda, coffee finished and just taking in the beautiful garden that surrounded her, she was disturbed by the sounds of an incoming car. It had her curious. Her mother certainly wouldn't show up in a cab when she had a car and driver, and JJ wasn't set to arrive for hours. Not to mention the plan was for a car, with her also in it, to be sent for them, not a cab. So who was it?

She followed the footpath to the driveway, stopping to wait by the small statuette. Squinting, she tried to see who was in there. She saw nothing but a shadowy silhouette. Helpful.

"Emily!" Shock went through her when she heard the voice.

"Aaron?" Was she imagining this? What was he doing there?

"Emily. Hi." That smile… oh that smile.

"Hi? That's what you're going to say?" No explanation of why he was there, why he was thousands of miles from where he was supposed to be, on her mother's estate. "How did you get through the gates? You're not on the security list."

"Flashed my badge."

"Abuse of power. Power you don't really have in this country."

"I needed to get in somehow."

"Aaron…"

"I'm supposed to be doing a triathlon right now." He interrupted, her cute furrowing brow making him melt.

"In America right? You do know this is France? You're in Paris."

"I know."

"So why aren't you there doing that? Why are you here?"

"I'm exactly where I need to be."

"Aaron…"

"No, listen to me Emily."

"Ok, but Aaron…"

"No, no talking. Just shut up and hear me out." Probably not the best way to get to his point, but it was effective. She stayed quiet. "I know you were in London. I know you were with Clyde, and we all heard about your job offer."

"JJ…" Her silence didn't last long. She was going to kill her friend. The blonde had no business telling anyone what she said in confidence. She better have had a good reason.

"I couldn't just let you go. I can't let you go." He explained. "We are… complicated on the best of days. We're up and down and we run from each other like little kids with cooties. Maybe others couldn't get it. Maybe they won't see what's there. But we make sense Emily." He told her with conviction, his hands resting on either shoulder. "I flew thousands of miles to tell you that. We make sense. We are messy and complicated, but that's what makes us so great. When we give ourselves half a chance, we make it work. We overcome. We persevere. We fit."

"Aaron."

"No, listen. You can't take that job. I'm sure it's a great opportunity. I'm sure being near Clyde would make you happy, but you just can't."

"Aaron…" He wasn't letting her get a word in edgewise.

"It would break me. It would break my heart. I'm not sure I'd survive it."

"You…"

"We're a family Em, I just got you both in my life and I'm not ready to lose that. We need to stick together. The good, the bad, the catastrophic… We can get through it all as long as we're together. I've made mistakes. We both have. I thought for so long that was a reason we didn't work, but I see I was wrong. Our emotions overpower us. They make us do crazy things because we ignore them. But we shouldn't ignore them anymore." He got down on the ground.

"Aaron." Emily looked around. To any observer, they'd seem like fools standing there in the middle of a driveway, a grown man down on his knees holding both her hands in his as he practically groveled. But it didn't matter what others thought. Her heart beat rapidly, swelling with emotion.

He kneeled there, looking her directly in the eyes. "I'd march a freaking drum line down this driveway just to tell you how much I need you in my life. I'm down on my knees and begging you to stay; to stay with me. I want a chance Emily. Give me a chance to prove what you mean to me. Give us a shot at happiness. Because I know there's something here. We can't keep ignoring it. We can't keep being afraid. We may not be the best at feelings, but I know what I'm feeling right now. I know what I want. And that's you. I want you and Charlie. I want to take you on a real date and treat you like a gentleman should. I want to wow you with romantic gestures, surprise you with your favorite wine, have bouquets delivered to your house or at the office, stay up late at night just talking to you because your voice is the only thing that gets me through a hard day." She helped him from the ground. "The team will support us. We can deal with Strauss when the time comes. Our kids want us to be happy. We can make each other happy. We can show them what happy is. I've thought about it all. It may be hard at times and it's going to take some learning and work on both our parts, but I want to go the distance with you. I want to grow old with you. And I'm hoping you want all of that with me."

"I don't know what to say." She was stunned, her mind working overtime to process and figure out if it was all real or just something it conjured up.

"Anything… Say something."

"You can't just swoop in here with some big romantic gesture because you think I'm moving away, and seriously think that makes all ok. Life's not a romantic gesture. It's not real and I want real."

"So you're not happy to see me." He deflated, though his spirits were soon lifted.

"No… I am. I just… God Hotch! I want all of that with you. I want to go on this crazy roller coaster ride with you… But I want this to last. I want this moment, this feeling to be forever, but this isn't the real world. This is the dream, the honeymoon. What happens when we fall from the clouds? What happens if this feeling is motivated by panic? How will it last? How will we make it work?"

"My motivation isn't panic. I've known what I wanted since the moment you came back into my life and I was just too chicken to admit it. I didn't want to see it because I had a commitment to make my failing marriage work for our son, but it wasn't going to work. And when it comes to us, when we come down from this cloud, I'll still feel like the luckiest man alive to have you by my side. We'll catch each other if we fall. No more thinking. If you shut up and just let this happen, it can. We can last. I know it. I know I hurt you when I turned you down. But I wasn't ready then. I was searching for you in all the wrong places and now here I am, knowing this, with you, is exactly where I have to be and exactly what I need. I'm ready. I want to be with you and only you. We've wasted enough time not talking, not figuring it out, not allowing ourselves to feel, and just making things harder. Please don't tell me it's too late."

"You're…" Don't think, just do. "You're not too late."

"I'm not?"

"No."

"Does that mean what I think it means?"

"It means shut up and go with it. Just kiss me already. This time, just know, once it happens, we're all in. I'm all in."

"I can do that."

"You're not supposed to be talking. Can't kiss if you're talking." He wasn't going to argue. All that was missing from the moment was the clichéd rain as they stood there in a Parisian driveway, lips locked, his arms around her waist, hers around his neck.

"Wait." He said, breaking them from their oral embrace.

"What? What is it?"

"Does this mean you're not taking the job?"

She smiled against his slightly stubbled cheek. "I was never going to take the job Aaron. That was never an option."

"You weren't?" He was surprised, thrilled, and every other synonym there was. That meant she planned on coming back to him. She was turning down what he knew to be an amazing offer for a life right where she was.

"No. I may ignore it sometimes and I don't always know how to read it, but I do know that my heart wasn't in it. I love it here. I love Europe and England and the culture, and it would be a great place for Charlie to grow up. But it's not where we're meant to be." She smiled and leaned into him again, bodies close. "We have a life there Aaron. I found something I was searching for all my life in DC. I found a family with our team… with you. I could never give that up."

"We could never give you up either."

"We're doing this." Emily stated, though it came out more like a question.

"We're doing this." They were finally, _finally_, doing it right and giving into what they were feeling. It had been a series of missteps and almosts and jumps and falls and still, it ended there, with them getting together even after it all.

"So… do you want to come in?"

"I thought you'd never ask."

"Well you wouldn't let me talk."

"You can talk now."

"I don't want to take things slow." Emily stated bluntly as she guided him into the house. "We spent years taking it slow. I don't mean we fast track everything. I don't mean we jump right to marriage or moving in and I'd really like that date you were talking about, but we don't need that awkward get to know you stage. We've known each other for years, fought this… this thing… for years. We know each other. We know how we feel."

"Yes we do." He agreed and pulled her into a deep hug. "Fast, slow, doesn't matter as long as we're both in this."

"And we are. I am. I am so in this."

There was no more talking. There'd be time for later. Right then, they were just tied of holding back, tired of hiding their overwhelmingly strong feelings, and just acting purely on that pent up love and passion. It was about damn time.

The words they both wanted to speak rested on the tip of their tongues. And they'd happen, but first, they were enacting a show not tell method of sharing. Their tongues were busy elsewhere. "We should…" She spoke in between their heated kisses, her breaths coming out in pants. "Move this to my room."

"Ok." He had no idea where he was going and no desire to let her go, so, still entangled, they danced their way to her room, hands always on the other, their faces rarely separating. He was giving her one last chance to take things slower. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes. No matter what happens next, this, us, right now, it's not a mistake. This isn't the first time we'll be doing this. I know what I've been missing, and I don't want to miss it anymore. I want this."

That was all that he needed to hear. He pulled her closer to him, their bodies touching once more. She allowed her hands to rest on his back, slipping under his casual polo, her nails gently scratching at his muscled skin. He worked his way through the buttons of her shirt, one by one revealing tiny teases of her pale flesh.

His finger ghosted over the scar on her stomach before going just above the bra line to her brand. She shied away, her head bowing in shame and discomfort. But he wasn't having that. "Hey, don't do that." He whispered quietly, his heart hurting for all she had been through. "I've seen it before Emily. You showed it to us and it changes nothing. I'm sorry the last time we were… together, I didn't notice it, that I didn't pay more attention to making you feel ok with yourself. It doesn't define you. It doesn't scare me away. It's just a part of you. It makes you more beautiful than ever. You fought. You survived. We all have our scars. Some of yours are just physical. Don't shy away from me. Let me feel you… I accept all of you. Every scar, every imperfection. Everything."

Instantly soothed, she felt comfortable in her own skin for the first time in who knew how long. "Thank you." She said, placing her hand atop his on the clover.

"You are… absolutely beautiful Emily." He brushed away the stray hair blocking her face, his gaze never leaving hers.

"And you are an incredibly amazing man Aaron inside and out."

There was no more hesitancy in their actions. She let Hotch remove the rest of her blouse before she pulled his shirt over his head, his dark hair getting tousled as she did. It wasn't like their last encounter. It wasn't rough. There was no anger. Where before, a moment of heated passion spurred by an intense argument and festered, repressed feelings led them to each other, this time was more about their unadulterated love for one another. It was a passion of a different kind. It was the remnants of years of neglected feelings and compartments finally becoming undone all being expressed in one primal act. Slow and gentle, it was a way of expressing just how deeply they were feeling without the actual words. Sometimes, sometimes words were needed and sometimes actions spoke so much louder.

They tangled their bodies together, touching all the right places, mingling together as if one. Nothing ever felt so right to either of them than being there, together, in each other's arms, feeling it all and pushing the rest away. All roads always led them back to each other. There was no more denying it. They deserved it. They deserved to try for their human version of the happily ever after.

Carnal bliss was part of that.

But loving each other was the biggest part of it. It might've felt all so surreal, but it was very grounding. Just being together felt like something finally clicked back into place. They were… dare they think it… happy. They were happy. And they hoped everyone would be happy for them, but that was a thought that would come later. Then was just about them. The baggage, the mistakes, the fights, the good, the bad, the ugly – all of it was a forgotten memory, just a piece of the puzzle that brought them where they needed to be.

Sure, there were parts of their history they'd like to do over, but if those things needed to happen to bring them to this moment, this moment where even the worst of things did little to ruin their euphoria, then they could accept that and be grateful those times made them appreciate the little things that much more.

Sweaty and short of breath, still laying naked in their afterglow, Emily rested her head against Aaron's chest as she snuggled up beside him. "I'm not normally this easy." She broke the serious love spell that was cloaking them with a little humor.

"Only with me?"

"Only with you."

"I can live with that. I won't tell if you won't."

A calm content settled upon them as they stayed in the comfort of each other. "Do you ever think about more kids?"

He didn't think the question random or out of place. It didn't scare him, nor did it scare her. With her, he realized nothing was off limits. It didn't need to be. "Yeah… Yeah, I can see it."

"I… I had a dream the other day about us… In the future. We had a son."

He couldn't stop the smile as he stared down at the beautiful woman he was with. "Really?"

"Yeah."

"That's weird. I had a dream like that too."

"It's not the first time I had a dream like that. We had another daughter in one. At first glance, she was Charlie's little carbon copy, but then when I saw her, really saw her, as she called me silly for calling her by her sister's name, all I saw was you. She was even taking care of me. 'Daddy's orders.'"

"Taking care of you?" He questioned.

"Apparently, I was pregnant again."

"We really know how to live it up in these dreams, don't we?"

"We do."

"It doesn't have to all be fantasy."

"You want more babies with me Hotch?" Her voice held a playful tone as she nudged him, but she wanted to know his thoughts on the subject too, maybe not necessarily then, but at some point. She could see it, but she didn't want to pressure their new relationship with talk of a future they were not ready for. But then, maybe they were more than ready for all of it. They weren't strangers jumping into bed. None of it was new to them. They had over a decade's worth of time and memories under their belts.

"I want it all with you Emily. The house with the fence, the dog, the houseful of little yous and mes. I want it all, but I'd be perfectly happy with the four of us: me, you, Charlie, and Jack, just being a family."

"I want it all with you too. I want everything with you. No holding back. Whether there's more to come or it's just us for the rest of time."

"I'm all in. I'm showing my hand here, no bluffs. This isn't just a whim for me." Which, let's be honest, was something he knew she worried about. "I don't just jump continents and grovel on the pavement for just anybody. I thought about it like you asked, but I didn't need to think. I just had to listen." He fell deeper into the pillows. "With Haley, when it was good it was great and when it was bad it was… it just was. The happiest moments we had were in the beginning and with Jack. And I didn't get that start with you and Charlie. I wasn't there for most of it, but things have always been different with you. I want to come home at night not because I'm exhausted or it's the only way I see my child, but because I want to be there. I'm not worried what fight we're going to have that night or questioning whether you'll be happy with me or upset about the job. I come home to you and our daughter and there's a life in me that I've been missing for years. You, Charlie, Jack… This family and the one I picture with all of us together, it brought that feeling back to me. I'm where I'm supposed to be with who I'm supposed to be with. You Emily… I choose you. I love you."

"You? You love me?" It stunned her. But it shouldn't have. They were words she yearned for and she felt their truth.

"I love you. I love our daughter. And I love the life we're going to create with each other."

"I love you too." In that moment, the world felt whole. Everything they ever questioned, the choices they made up to that point, both good and bad, it all made sense to them. They had to go through all of that to understand the gravity and depth of their love. They could survive all that and still be standing. Together, their love could endure anything.

They finally felt whole. "I love you." She repeated with an enormous smile, one only matched by his.

"And I'm going to spend the rest of my life showing you how much you mean to me."

"We'll go on vacations together and I'll make breakfasts in the mornings for our hoard." She spoke of their future, no longer letting that nagging feeling of pushing it get to her.

"Our hoard huh?"

"A whole bushel of little rugrats."

"All with your beauty." He added.

"And your strength."

"Your stubbornness."

"My stubbornness? Your stubbornness."

"Your smile."

"Your dimples."

"Your everything."

"You are my everything."

"And you're mine." He told her, holding on to her for life. He had her this time, and he wasn't letting her go again. Come what may, they'd face it together. "Now, I have exactly five hours before I need to get back to the airport. How do you propose we spend that time?"

"You're not staying?"

"I can't. I came here to tell you how I felt and hoped this was how it would go."

"With me naked?"

"With us together." He corrected. "But I wasn't sure if that would be the outcome. So, I figured I'd come and you'd feel the same and then I'd leave before you could change your mind or things would go terribly and I'd need that quick turn around."

"I'm not changing my mind." She promised. Now she had it, she didn't think she could give it up again.

"Good."

"And I don't want to leave this very room until we absolutely have to."

"I don't see a problem with that. We can do – quite a bit – without ever leaving this bed." Amen to that. They had years to make up for. That dalliance in New York served its purpose, but this was the real thing. This, though maybe not conventional, was the start of something amazing.

They really just spent a lot of the time talking, amongst other less verbal things, and figuring out them as a couple. It even came to them tossing out words like, "boyfriend and "girlfriend." It was new and nice to actually know who and what they were to each other. They were friends, family, coworkers, but they were also significant others. They were each other's everything, their "meant to be."

Sadly, though, their time in the beautiful bubble that was their Paris interlude was coming to an end. They hung languorously around Emily's room, refueling themselves with leftovers and indulging in each other. It was so natural and simple they didn't understand why it took them so long to get there. Dressed again, trying to force herself to want to leave this little bubble they were in, all Emily wanted to do was be lazy with him. And, honestly, he wanted the same. They may have been in one of the most romantic cities in the world, but they could've been anywhere and it still would been the same. They were in the best place in the world within those four walls simply because they were together, reveling in the reposed novelty, of finally giving in, talking, and loving.

"You should know, since it was brought up before… The house, picket fence… a dog."

"What did you do?" She asked nervously.

"I may have promised Charlie a dog."

"You what?"

"She was pouting and… You know what. We don't need to discuss this right now."

"Yes we do!" She stood from the lounge chair in attempt to hold her ground. It wouldn't last long.

"Really? I have to leave for the airport in an hour. I can think of better things for us to do."

"Yeah, like what?"

"Well, I could take this," his hand moved to the thin strap of the camisole she just put on, "pull it like this." Grazing her shoulder, he used his thumb to brush it down, distracting her.

"Mmm hmm, and then?"

"And then I could put my hand here." It went straight to her waist. "Pull here." The other worked on the bottom's ties. He continued to tell her step by step what he'd do as he did it. After loosening the strings, his hand slipped through the band until the material fell from her hips and down to the floor.

"Are you trying to distract me with sex?"

"Is it working?"

"You are much too overdressed."

"What are you going to do about it?"

"Hmm." Her eyes squinted with a devious glint. "I don't know what you're going to do, but I – I am going to take off the very little I have left on and let the warm spray of the shower caress every curve. Sure wish I had someone in there to help me scrub."

Slowly losing her underwear and bra as she walked away, she left him drooling and impatient to follow. As quick as he could he stripped himself of all fabric and joined her. Emily had no idea what had JJ thinking it was better in theory than execution. From where she was standing, her back nestled against his front, the hot water flowing on them, jetting against their already scalding skin – it all felt pretty great. The whole room felt like fire and it had little to do with water temperature.

Hotch turned her, pushed her against the wall, and begin kissing her, nipping at her neck slowly making his way lower. Their hands were everywhere, taking in and exploring everything the terrain had to offer. He was just about to make the last move when a noise startled them causing them to nearly slip, knocking down a few bottles to save themselves. A voice followed the noise.

"What in God's name?"

"That's my mom!" She yell whispered in his ear. What was she doing back? Was it that late already that she was done for the day? He just gave a devious grin and went about soldiering on.

"Emily, are you ok in there? I heard something."

"I'm," She gulped as he hit a sensitive spot he knew she loved, "Fine. Mother."

"What is this mess? I raised you better than to throw clothes around."

"Mmmm…" Damn it, what was he doing to her? "Sorry." Not sorry at all.

"It's fine, just please pick up before your friends arrive."

"Oh God!"

"What was that?" Her mother asked.

"I'm going to kill you." She whispered to him, only making him go at her harder. "I said I will."

"Good, speaking of, I have the driver on the phone."

"Think he can hear us?" Hotch spoke seductively in her ear, his mouth taking a break from her neck, but the rest of him, still working her.

"St-stop…"

"Hmmm… Can't." He continued his ministrations, teasing her as she continued to talk with her mother.

"Oh-kay…"

"Do you want to drive in with him?"

"Or have something drive into you?" Hotch broke her concentration.

"Or should I have him go directly to the airport and pick them up?"

"In!"

"Speak up Emily. I can't hear over the water."

"Oh there, right there." Oh the double entendres.

"You want him to go straight there?"

"No. Oh god… Here. Have him come… Here!"

"Ok Emily, no need to yell." What was her problem? "When you finish up in there, join me for tea if you'd like." Thank god she was gone!

"That was…"

"Are you trying to kill me?" She interrupted him.

"I was going to say that was great, but… no. If I wanted to kill you, you'd be dead instead of just jello."

"I had no idea you were so… naughty."

"I think you did."

"Yeah, I did. I have to say, I'm not used to this side of you."

"You get all of me now."

"And you get all of me." She kissed him.

"So what do you say? We _finish_ up in here and you go have some tea with the Ambassador?"

"No, absolutely not. There's a lot more_ finishing_ to be done here. No time for tea. I'm not leaving your side until you're on that plane."

"I like the way that sounds. I'll be glued to you."

"And I'll enjoy every minute of it."

Time moved much too quickly for their liking. Eventually, they did force themselves out of the water, their skin pruned from the exposure. Toweling dry, they dressed, this time to remain that way. "You look handsome in my clothes." She told him. "You make a T-shirt look good."

"You're just being nice."

"No way."

"I like it better when you're in my clothes."

"Me too."

"We should get going."

"We should." She agreed, but held on to him tighter. If he wanted to make his plane, they did have to leave. She'd have just a little more time with him there before Charlie's plane arrived.

It took some coaxing to get them out of the house, but they managed. Without her mother seeing him, she told her mother she was off and then escorted him into the waiting car. She was sad to see him go just as he was sad to go, like their being apart would suddenly put an end to the magic they felt. "I wish you were staying."

"I wish I could stay." He pulled her into his arms.

"You can. My mother would… Well I'd make her understand."

"No, you need this time. As much as I love you and want to be here with you and Charlie, you guys need this time with your mom."

"I know." She said quietly. "It just feels like once you're on that plane, it's all over."

"It's not though. We won't let it. I'll be back in DC counting the days until you're back, planning a very special date for the two of us."

"Our first official date?"

"Absolutely."

"We sure like to do things backwards."

"We work better that way."

"We do." She agreed.

"Normal's overrated."

"It is," Her grin faded. "They're about to call your flight. You should get through security."

"I don't want to let you go."

"Me either. But we have to." She backed away a little, putting some room between their bodies. "Thank you for coming after me."

"Thank you for making my job easy. You already had your mind made when I got here."

"I did, but you made it solid. You came here and made me feel I was making the right choice, that you'd be there no matter what, right beside me, loving me."

"And I promise to do just that. I do love you Emily, for longer than I can admit."

"I love you too Aaron." She got on her toes and went in for one last breathtaking kiss. "Now go, before I start to cry. Fly safely and call me. Ok?"

"Every day, for you and Charlie. Now that I have you, I'm not letting you go."

And she was so thankful for that. "We'll deal with the team when I get back?"

"Don't worry about that. Just enjoy France. I know I have."

"Me too. And don't think for a second we're not discussing the dog issue back home."

"I was hoping you'd forget."

"You almost achieved euphoric amnesia, but you'll have to try again some other time." She teased. "Bye."

"Bye." It felt like a sad goodbye because their time alone as a burgeoning couple was so short, but it was also a happy one. It marked the beginning of a real relationship. There'd be no hiding, not from those that mattered at least, and it would be real. It was all either wanted. And they couldn't wait to be together again.

For a few minutes, Emily just stood there. She watched him walk through the gates until he was out of sight, and then she just stood there for a moment. Her watch reminded her of the others' arrival, but leaving that very spot was hard. She was excited though, to get her hands on her daughter and see some of her friends, so she made her way to them meeting them at the baggage claim area. The driver was waiting for her call to wrangle them up when ready.

Her happiness from her time with Aaron rose even more when she saw Charlie's smiling face come her way. "Mommy!" The girl yelled and Emily ran to her. "I missed you."

"Oh Charlie Bear." She held her close. "I missed you so much."

"Mommy, we're in France now!"

"I know. Are you excited?"

"Uh huh. And so is Henry. He fell asleep though."

"I can see that." She looked over to the blonde carrying her son, her boyfriend looking for their luggage.

"I wanted to stay awake. And I did!"

"I'm glad you were awake so I could give you a giant hug when you got here."

"Me too."

"Why don't we go help Will and JJ with the bags?"

"Ok."

Henry was beginning to stir when they joined them, JJ placing him on his own feet as he mumbled a hi to Emily. "Hi Jayje. Will."

"How ya doing Emily?"

They exchanged cordialities as she went in for a hug with JJ. "I'm happy to see you."

"Are you kidding? We're in freaking France. I'm happy to be _here_ and see you. Thank you for this."

"You're welcome. Come on let's get your bags and I'll call the driver. We can get settled, my mom bought these amazing pastries, and later, if you're up for it, I want to show you around a little."

"Sounds great."

Emily was like a kid in a candy store the whole time. A smile was plastered on her face and there was no getting rid of it.

"So, Em, how was your week away?" JJ asked as they had their first moment alone. The kids were safely playing with the Ambassador and Will offered to give them some girl time while he helped Donovan with the bags.

"I missed everyone, but it was nice to get away for a little while."

"Do anything exciting?"

"Just relaxed. Drank a lot of wine. Read a book. It was exciting to me."

"Spill."

"What?"

"You haven't stopped smiling since we got here. You look… happier than I think I've ever seen you." Emily's cheeks flushed. "Oh. My. God. He came here, didn't he?"

"Who?"

"Oh you know who. He came here and both of you were all hot and bothered. He totally made you swoon. Is he still here? Should I ask your mother for a room in a different wing?"

She laughed. "You just missed him. He boarded his plane just before I met you at the gates."

"I knew it! He didn't tell us what he was doing, but I had a feeling." She was more than happy for her friend. She looked so – so – smiley and bright. He was genuinely happy for them. "You need to tell me all the steamy details." She pleaded, stopping for a second and getting all serious. "There are steamy details, right?"

"Let's get a drink Jayje. I'll take you to a restaurant down the road once the kids are asleep and I'll tell you all about it."

"You bet your ass you will." She already loved Paris. "I bet it was like a movie. From Paris, With Love."

Emily thought it was better than any movie. It was life. It was hers. And she couldn't wait to begin the next stage of her life with him and their kids.

Come what may, she believed they could survive it.

**So? What did you think? Happy about that there get together? I had fun writing that so I really do hope it came out ok. I did update earlier than I said. That's a nice change, right? And it would've been even earlier, but I couldn't get onto the site for some reason. But, I for sure, almost for sure, will not be updating until school's over and my birthday passes. So, the end of the month at the earliest probably. Not too long away I suppose. Hang in there. **

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**

**Sourgummycandy**** The waits haven't been that long lately, have they? I'm trying. But, I am glad you feel it's worth it. You tell me, do you think what Emily decided and what Hotch did will make everyone happy? No hearts broken right, unless in a good way? **

**greengirl82**** I love writing the dreams. Anything can happen there. The things I'd like to happen but that just don't fit in this story can be parts of the dreams. It's fun. So, yeah, probably more of that.I actually did think of having Beth at the triathlon. I wasn't going to make her a stalker or anything, just that she would be there to see Hotch cheer him on and get the closure she needed, but I just didn't feel it fit. I wanted Beth out of the picture to just move on with the Hotly show. Low blows do seem to come in abundance, huh? JJ, though probably should've gotten more flack, was upset and accidently struck back. And Morgan, I feel has a temper that he can usually control, but he was hurt and lashed out. Families work that way sometimes. There are dig and apologies… It all goes hand in hand.**

**Guest**** Thank you. Hope you enjoy this one and liked how Hotch and Emily handled things.**

**justicegrl**** Your wish has been granted! It's up earlier than I planned because I just couldn't keep it to myself anymore. Garcia, though she's not a lead in this tale, is always fun to write. Her techie genius ways make her and endless source of potential good times. Enjoy.**

**rmpcmfan**** Do you think I'd send Emily to London? Well, maybe I would. But if I did, she wouldn't be going alone. Have a little faith in me. **

**Frizz-B Girl ****I really did have to stop there. I'm just maniacal like that. I am definitely considering a sequel. I absolutely love this story. It's like my baby and now it's like I'm a few years (chapters) away from sending it to college. This one is so astronomically long and I feel the ending I have laid out in my mind will work really well for a sequel or, if no one's interested, I'll come up with an ending that brings complete closure. But I'm hoping people will want to read more because I don't want to give up writing Charlie.**

**123a456e**** Thank you. Updated earlier than I said I would. Yay! Enjoy. Hope you like how things turned out.**

**Hyacinth Blue**** =) Aww thank you so much! I really appreciate the kind words and am truly touched that people have taken to this story as much as I have. Charlie and the gang have very much become real to me too. I don't want to see the story end because of that. So, a sequel's a very real possibility. We have a few chapters before the end of this one, but I had the second half of this story already plotted in my mind. It was supposed to be a part of this one, but I feel it might work better as a part 2. We shall see. Thanks for your interest in in though. **

**inheritancedrottningu**** That is cheating, very, very mean cheating on my part. I'm sorry. On the upside, it's a week earlier than I said. That's something, right? Hotch had to tell his mommy! Everyone else knew, it was her turn to find out and get some Charlie time. **

**Blackstarsing**** I loved writing the dreams. They're always such fun. I should really include more. It was a very Hotch centered chapter and I don't do that enough. I'm glad it went over well though. I didn't make you wait as long as I anticipated. That's soon… sooner anyway.**

**SouthunLady**** lol Glad you don't want to punch me. My very pale Emily-esque complexion bruises way too easily. I'm a timing master, what can I say? ;) Hotch has grown a pair, for sure. Charlie finally met Helen as grandma. Yay. And they had to bond. What grandma doesn't want a granddaughter to play with? Yeah, Morgan could use a little knocking around. Not Reid though. He didn't mean any harm. Summer studies, I wouldn't call fun. Hard and time consuming, definitely. Fun… well that's debatable.**


	40. Homebound

_I do not own Criminal Minds, only the characters I have created in that world._

**Ok, again, I'm earlier than I said I'd be. Good on me. Birthday weekend's over, school is finished for a few weeks, and I've had this chapter done for over a week, so it was due to go up. I loved reading all the comments from chapter 39. So thanks for that. Now, on with the chapter. Enjoy.**

**Chapter 40: Homebound**

Ask anyone who had ever visited, and they could tell you even a week in Paris, anywhere abroad really, has the ability to be life changing. JJ, Will, Emily, hell, even Hotch who was only there a day, wouldn't give an answer any different. Their lives were effected. And maybe it wasn't so much the place as it was the time and effort, but whatever it was, it was amazing. They all left the country to return home with a healthy glow about them that came from a lot more than the light tan they received exploring the streets of France.

The kids' excitement at seeing the things they only ever saw in pictures up close and personal was fantastic. Charlie was accustomed to pictures of her mother's youth. She saw her mother standing at the Eiffel Tower, photographed with famous art, and so much more. And now she could say she experienced it too. "Now I have pictures just like yours mommy." She told her one night. "Only better because we're both in it and so are our friends. It's the best!"

"I couldn't agree more my little Charlie Bear."

"Now we're really the same mommy. Expensive travelers."

"Expensive?"

"Uh huh."

"I think you might mean extensive?" She offered, though expensive wasn't far from the truth either, just contextually unsound.

"Ok, then that's what we are."

"I love you kid." Emily laughed. Her daughter was just so darn cute.

JJ's excitement rivaled that of the children's. She was a small town girl who never had the chance to leave the country. "If only we had the money… You'll find a man one day honey." Her mother would tell her. "And on your honeymoon, you make him take you wherever you want to go." The honeymoon had yet to happen, so it was all new to her. Of course she saw pictures, dreamt about exploring foreign lands, and thought one day it'd be a possibility. She'd work, save up her money, and just take off. But life got in the way. There was college, then the academy, and then a job that made the money and then Henry. Not that she'd change any of that, it was just that something always seemed to keep her grounded. Just as it was for the kids, getting to experience it was just so thrilling.

She got to do things she never thought she would. Having Emily as a tour guide didn't hurt either. The memories would last forever. The experiences were better than any material possession they could buy.

"Mother hired and au pair for our stay." The brunette informed her their first night there.

"Wait. An au pair? Seriously?" Did they really need that? Didn't that waste a lot of money?

"Yes, now we have no excuse not to attend her gala or do what she wants at her beck and call."

"A gala?"

"Yes, I'm expecting you to be my date. Will too, of course. Play your cards right and get enough wine in me, and who knows what can happen." She joked.

"Hmm, I don't think Hotch would appreciate that much."

"You never know. Remember… I've seen all different sides of him." With a wink, she walked away. "My mother's personal shopper will be bringing some dresses by for us later." She called back from the door.

JJ was enthralled by the trip. Her life was good, there was no doubt about that. And even with the downs they had with her sister growing up, she wouldn't change the life her parents gave her and the home they raised her in. But it was nice living in Emily's world for a while. It was so… Lavish and not at all what she was used to. It was the city to her rural upbringing.

She was treated like a royal princess. In reality, she knew Emily was pulling out all the stops to make her have the best experience possible, and Emily's life in the upper class political world wasn't nearly as great as the trip made it seem, but that didn't change the experience she had. When racks of dresses showed up for them to try on, she felt like a little kid playing dress up. She was an adult sized Barbie. People even tried to dress her! Was that what Emily went through growing up? To her, it was magical, but, with the person Emily was and her need for privacy, she didn't see the situation being as much fun for her.

"Em, this is amazing." She awed as they made their way into a grand Parisian ballroom, the entire room decorated in golds and silvers, the attendees adorned in fancy dreads.

"As much as I don't like coming to these things, the first few times are actually pretty fantastic, definitely get awestruck. But, stick with me if you really want some fun."

"Why does that sound like trouble?"

"Trouble does seem to find me." She smirked. "But, it's usually more fun that way." Nudging her friend, she leaned a little into her. "Seriously, things are about to get interesting. Follow my lead."

"Your lead?" The blonde asked.

She was quick to catch on to what that meant. As a man approached them, Emily wrapped a hand around the blonde's waist and pulled her closer. Francois, as she learned was his name, was no shy man. His opening greeting, Emily translated, was something akin to a very poor and oddly erotic pick up line. Her face scrunched in disgust when told exactly what he said. It sounded better in French. The rouse didn't end there though.

"Please Emily," he spoke with his heavy accent, "allow me this dance."

Instead of accepting, she pulled JJ even closer. "Sorry Francois, I can't leave Jennifer… my date."

"Your date? Her?" He was shocked.

"Yeah." Emily played the loving girlfriend and hugged JJ. "Isn't she beautiful?"

"Magnificent… But I thought… Your mother is always, how is it you say, trying to fix us up? Why did you not just tell me you were not interested?"

"I did… often." Since she was in her teens, every time they saw each other.

"But you did not say you preferred women…"

"Oh… Jennifer… Yeah, no… She's my friend Francois. I'm not a lesbian."

"But you just…"

"Wanted you to get the picture…" She stepped away from JJ and moved toward Francois. "You're a good guy Francois, but my mother tried to get us together as children. That was never going to work. We've had our fun, made some of these functions bearable for each other. But since then, every time I've seen you, you've tried something and I tried to let you down politely, but I just had to have some fun this time."

He nodded. "I can take the clue." Well, it was about time.

Once he was gone, JJ laughed. "That was…"

"Just be glad he left when he did. I was this close to kissing you just to prove a point."

"Not sure if Will would be upset with that or turned on."

"Well, he is a guy…."

"Why haven't you taken me to one of these things sooner?"

"And subject you to this madness? No way." She held her arm out to link with her friend. "Let's go find Will. Maybe he'll be by the bar. A little booze will help us get through this."

"I am having fun Em."

"Ok, then the wine will help me get through this. And I'll drink yours too. Extra for me. You just keep having your good time and then make sure I get home safely at the end of the night. No funny business."

"Alright." She laughed and went with her to find Will.

The rest of the night went well. Although a bit of a third wheel with the couple, Emily found the party much more bearable with company there not trying to pick her up or bore her to death, sometimes both, and as a bonus, earlier that night her mother informed her she no longer felt the need to set her up with "suitable" men. Her exact words were, "I gave up on that a long time ago. I only did it to annoy you after."

"Mother!" She couldn't believe that. Well, maybe she could. It was payback for being such a hard child. That was what she reasoned.

"And now that I know that I have a granddaughter to consider, none of these men are good enough."

"Oh, so they're good enough for me, but not Charlie?"

"No Emily. They were never good enough for you either, but I didn't understand that I didn't want them for you until I realized that if they were to get involved in your life, it also meant in her life, and if it became serious, possibly reached marriage, then Charlie would have a childhood much like yours with the constant moves and changes. That wouldn't be fair."

"No, it wouldn't." She agreed. That was one thing she definitely didn't want for her kid. It sucked for her and she wasn't willing to make someone else suffer through that, which was a major reason she turned down the job. She didn't want Charlie shuffling back and forth between continents.

"And I don't want her to find the same troubles you did. Your father and I did our best when we didn't know what we were doing, but it wasn't good enough. You're a much better mother than I ever was."

"Mom…" Their new relationship was becoming much more open, and that was great, but she wasn't used to the touchy feely moments they kept having.

"No, it's true Emily. You give her a dedication and love we didn't know how to give you, or, maybe, weren't willing to give at the time. I'm proud of you for it." Emily shied away from her mother's praise, slightly uncomfortable with this side of her mother she was seeing so much more often. "Don't do that. I know I didn't give you many compliments or tell you how proud I was of all you've done as you grew up, but that doesn't mean I don't feel it and don't mean it now. And, I think that guy in your life, the one that was over the other day… He's good for you."

"Bu- How?"

"Oh, I know. I know many things Emily." Suddenly she felt as she had on her 13th birthday when her mother made her attend a gala instead of having a party and she decided it was a good idea to take the prime minister's son into a closet for seven minutes in heaven. Her mom just so happened to catch them. "Next time be less… vociferous if you don't want to get caught."

"Oh god…" Her hands flew to cover her reddening face.

"Yeah, you said that then too."

"Oh… Jesus." Her head fell into her hand in poor attempt to hide herself.

"I do hope you let him into the main house next time. I'd like to meet the man that, clearly, makes my daughter so happy. And he did fly all this way, I'd imagine unless you met him in the few hours you were without me, which I find unlikely though not impossible, he at least deserved a tour of something other than my daughter." She could just groan. That was all she could handle. Her mother knew she had sex. Ok, so most parents realized that at some point, but still… The Ambassador heard her and Aaron… Ugh. "Don't be so bashful. It's not like I didn't know you've had sex before. You do have a child. She had to get here somehow. Besides, we all do it. I know I do."

"Oh mother…" How did they get there? What was happening? And where was her prim and proper mother who thought s-e-x was a swear word? She wanted her back… the cold, unfeeling, distant mother who couldn't even give her _the talk_ as a kid.

"Though the men I've entertained in recent years make me miss your father more than I have."

"You did not just say that." Why did she have to paint that picture? Was it her form of retribution? _You sleep with some guy in my house, I make you picture your father and I naked and getting busy. That's how we made you, you know? _ "Please take it back… You're doing this on purpose. I think I'm going to be sick."

The ambassador smiled and, with a shake of her head, said, "Time to get ready Emily. The car should be here in a few hours."

She didn't know how long she stayed in that very spot, head bowed down, eyes scrunched close, but the next thing she knew, JJ was by her side. "Em, you ok?"

"Ugh… I need to wash out my brain."

"Alright… What happened?"

Shaking it off, she finally looked to meet the blonde's eyes. "Do you ever talk to your mom about sex?"

"All the time." She responded nonchalantly.

"Really? And it's not weird?" Should she have been shocked? It was just another way JJ had the childhood she could have only dreamed of, filled with people who cared enough to spend time with her and talk about things even the uncomfortable simply to make them a little less taboo and make sure she was well taken care of.

"No, we're really close."

"You know, sometimes I hate you Jennifer Jareau. My mom and I couldn't even stand in the same room without it being awkward up until a few months ago."

"We grew up in different worlds."

"Well, you're about to experience mine. We should get changed. The tailor delivered our gowns this morning. They're hanging in the closet."

"Wait!" JJ called to Emily as they readied to go. "Why did you ask if I talk with my mom about sex?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Come on! You brought it up…"

"I just got the image out of my mind."

"Image of what?"

"My parents… naked… together…" She made a gagging noise.

"Why were you thinking about that? You're not supposed to think about that."

"I know…"

"So…?"

"My mother may have heard…"

"Heard?" The blonde asked, not getting it. "Heard what?"

"Me… and my company… together…"

"You and… Oh. Oh!"

"Yeah… We're never discussing this again."

"Are you kidding? We are so discussing this…. All the time."

"Let's just go."

The gala, they would all agree, was more fun than they thought it would be. It was a new world for JJ and Will, which, in the end, made them appreciate what they had. Emily pointed out several couples that she met over the years, most of whom looked so perfect but were on the brink of divorce and in constant battle since she met them. JJ realized that what she and Will had wasn't perfect on the outside or the inside, but it was special and worth working on. It really helped them cement their relationship to see the cold world and failed ones Emily grew up around. Those romantic Parisian dates Emily set up for them didn't hurt either.

They were more solidified, as was the girl's friendship. That first night in the bar of a local restaurant was fun too. Emily spilled all there was to spill, much to the blonde's content. It was one of those rare moments when Emily had no filter. She didn't hide anything from JJ or keep any details to herself, for the most part anyway. They didn't need to talk all intimate details. Some things needed to remain marked personal and confidential.

"I knew he had it in him."

"He definitely does."

"I'm so happy for you. For both of you."

"I'm really happy too."

"I can tell. You look so relaxed. It looks good on you."

"Thanks Jayje. Think the team will be ok with it?"

"We all just want you to be happy. It might be a little bit of an adjustment, but I think so, yeah."

"Ok…"

The next day, Emily had a surprise for the couple. After breakfast with her mother, Emily decided to take them to the Eiffel Tower first and get that out of the way. It would take up most of the day, but Emily had something else in store for her friends. "Wow, this is beautiful."

"Right? Now, quick, take your pictures then get into that car that has been following us around."

"Is this like a really bad kidnapping ploy?"

"Oh honey, if I wanted to kidnap you, you wouldn't see it coming. I most definitely wouldn't give you warning."

"What's going on?"

"Look, I know you and Will have been having… problems lately. But I also know that you feel you haven't had any adult time, so I'm trying to give you that."

"How?"

"Well, you'll find out once you two get in the car. I had my guy time, you have yours, and I'll take care of the kids."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"Are we dressed ok for whatever?"

"I'm not sending you to the opera. You're dressed fine. But that's all I'm saying. So, let's take a few pictures, you say goodbye to Henry, and then you and Will get into that car and go have some fun."

"Ok… Thank you."

"It's the least I can do."

"I'm pretty sure this trip was more than enough."

"Just enjoy it ok?"

"We will."

Emily sent them off to a vineyard owned by a family friend. When they arrived there, they were greeted by Eva. "You must be Jennifer and Will, yes?"

"Yes. Hi."

"My name is Eva. Emily says to follow this map and…" she disappeared for a moment only to return with a basket and blanket in her hand. "And to take this. I've added one of our most popular wines per her request."

"Never pegged Emily for such a romantic."

"Ah, you do not know our Emily quite so well then." Eva told him. "Like good cookie. Tough outside, gooey inside."

"She's right." JJ agreed. "Thank you."

"Thank Emily. And before you leave, come see me. I owe Emily a case. You can take it to her."

"Will do."

They followed Emily's instructions all the way to the most magnificent sight overlooking the French countryside. "It's amazing here."

"Private." Will added. "I can't see the house or nothing from here."

"I think that's the point. Want to throw the blanket down here?"

"Sure thing." He laid it out for the two of them and placed the basket on top. "What do you think's in here?"

"Why don't we find out?" Opening up the latch, they were immediately greeted with a letter.

"Think this is for you." Will passed it to her.

_Jayje,_

_I found this place when I was about 10 years old. It was probably the third or fourth time I tried to run away, but I fell in love with this very spot. It's amazing, isn't it? Every time I came back to France, I'd sneak off and end up here. Nobody ever passed by or tainted it. It just stayed there in all its untouched beauty. It became my secret spot, where I went when I needed to get lost. And you're the first person I shared it with. I always hoped I'd have the occasion to bring someone I loved here and be able to watch the sunset with a glass of white in my hand. Since, that hasn't happened yet, I figured someone should cash in on the romanticism. Drink, eat, relax, and, most importantly, reconnect. You two have something special. Don't take that for granted. I don't expect you back until late. Don't worry about Henry. At this very moment, he and Charlie are probably racking up my credit card bill at the toy store. When in France, right? I won't spoil him. Promise. _

_PS. Try the Colombard. It's amazing. _

"I hate her sometimes." Her best friend was an amazing person who didn't often see that of herself.

"I think I like her." Will said as he pulled her close.

"I know. She's something isn't she?" She reached to take out some of the containers. "And look at this food."

"Smells so good. I'm starting to get why you three love your girls' nights so much." He joked.

"She always has the good stuff?"

"She's a good friend." He told her. "Does she always feed y'all so well?" The blonde nodded. "Ok… Now, let's enjoy this so you have something to tell her about later." Enjoy it they did. It was their first opportunity to have that needed romantic one on one time in a secluded area with the most magnificent view. "I could get used to this."

"I know. Think she'll move in with us? Feed us, take care of us?"

"She does that without being in our house."

"See why I hate her sometimes?"

"I know why you love her all the time."

"I do. So, she set this up for us. Let's not let her down and really just have some us time. No Henry or work, just the two of us."

By the end of the night, they were expressing their feelings with conviction they had been lacking lately. "I love you Jen."

"I love you too Will."

"Let's go tuck in our boy."

"Sounds perfect."

The trip was really good for everyone. Truth was, they all got something out of the trip that went beyond the memories and experiences. Emily, a seasoned traveler, could say she had been to and experienced more countries than most. More often than not, she was lost in herself as she went off on a solo adventure. But this time she experienced family time. She even bonded and enjoyed being with her mother, something she always yearned for. Not only that, but Emily got a new start with the man of her dreams, literally of her dreams. She had a sense of calm and roots she had always wanted and she found out, for sure, that he was willing to fight for her, that he felt the same about her that she did him. JJ and Will returned to America with a refurbished sense of self. They were aware that their relationship was getting stale before. They went about the same routine and their lives, even as a couple, revolved solely around their son. He was frustrated with her work schedule and his lack of free will to work as he pleased, but they talked it through. They had some purely adult time, went on a date or two, worried only about themselves for a little while, and it was rejuvenating for them. It brought back the spark in their relationship that seemed to be missing.

Everybody was going home with a calm about them. Or so they thought. The trip home wasn't an easy one for some. "All ready?" Emily asked, cautiously going over her mental checklist and making sure everything was in her bags.

"Emily, if you forget anything, I can send it to you with the rest of the things when I put in the mail. I'll head to le poste tomorrow."

"But if I don't need to forget it, why would I?" She asked with a stubbornness about her the older woman knew all too well. She blamed that little character trait on her daughter's father, but it was something all three shared.

"Oh Emily, what kind of monster did I breed?"

"An anal retentive one." JJ answered as Emily disappeared into the bedroom. "Was she like this as a child too?"

"Before her father passed away? No, not to this extent. After, yes. Be happy I got her to stop the three day moving and packing ritual she used to have. I was about to get her treatment for her compulsion."

"Do I want to know?"

"Her childhood was hard on her. That control was her way of coping. Then, when her father died, she was lost. We all were, but it was just after a move, and, let me tell you, it was not an easy one. She forgot the first edition, signed Winnie the Pooh book her father bought for her back in the house in Rome…" Rome where they ran into not so easy times. "But she forgot it there, which was fine. It was packed away in one of the boxes set to be shipped back to the states within the week. Poor Emily was desperate to have it in her hands again. We didn't allow her to take it with her outside the house. I mean, it's a $20,000 book, and even at 15 we didn't want her walking around the streets with it. But it was hers and she wanted to put it in her carry on. The point is, she was so worried about letting us down by forgetting it and just so miserable that her father, Nathaniel, he couldn't take the crying and apologies from her anymore. So he went to her. She was crying again, which she never did. He took her in his arms, told her it would be ok, that it, whatever it really was, would get better and to trust daddy. He kissed her cheek and he left."

"He left?"

"He stayed in the states for most of the time we were in Rome. And when we came back… Emily was different."

"Different how?"

"She just… she wasn't the same Emily anymore. She withdrew further from us. I found… some paraphernalia while we were in Italy that I didn't mention to her father. Drugs were not the problem. She may have had them, but I think that had more to do with her trying to keep them from her friend than her own use. Still, there was something and he could see it too. He said to me. 'Elizabeth that is not my Emily. My Emily… this is just not her. She's holding onto a book like it's the last piece of her childhood. Like not having it means she's no longer a kid. But she is. She's just 15 years old. She's still just a girl. Something happened in Italy. Something happened to my girl. She may not be able to tell me and I may not be able to make it better, but I can get her that book. I can give her that.' He just wanted to offer her some comfort." Her heart was breaking for her friend. "Emotional comfort wasn't something we did well or she knew how to accept. But she needed something."

"What happened to Emily?"

"To this day, I still don't know. Our relationship, which was bad at the time, became even worse after."

"And what about her relationship with Mr. Prentiss? She doesn't talk about him much."

"No, she wouldn't…"

"I didn't even know his name until now…"

"Don't take it personally dear. It's not just you. She just doesn't talk about him much."

"What happened?"

"Despite having a job that kept him away and unable to travel with us sometimes, they managed to form a bond. Not a great one, mind you, but much better than ours was. So it was hard on her when he passed."

"If you don't mind me asking, how did it happen?" It surprised her the woman, unlike her daughter, talked so freely. Elizabeth, as Emily had told her, must honestly have been trying to be a better person, a better mother.

"He left that day, made it back to our home in Italy, but never made it back to us. His car crashed on the way home from the airport. I think, to this day, she blames herself a little and it breaks my heart."

"I'm so sorry."

"We've had time to deal with it dear, but thank you."

Nodding, she allowed her curiosity to ask, "What happened to the book?"

"Ah, the book." She smiled. "It was returned to us by the police." She explained. "She never mentioned the book to you?" The blonde shook her head. "Didn't think so. Inside was a note from Nathaniel for Emily when he first gave it to her_. _It was from her favorite story as a child._ 'You have been my friend,' replied Charlotte. 'That in itself is a tremendous thing. I wove my webs for you because I liked you. After all, what's a life, anyway? We're born, we live a little while, we die... By helping you, perhaps I was trying to lift up my life a trifle. Heavens knows anyone's life can stand a little of that.' ~ Charlotte's Web E.B. White_" The Ambassador sighed.

"That's why she named her Charlotte." JJ concluded. She never thought to ask and now she wished she had.

"I can't be certain and I don't believe she knows I know about the note and I'm more than positive she doesn't talk about that time of her life with anyone, but yes, I believe that had a major influence." Again, she let out a deep heavy breath. "When we got the book back, there was new writing added to the note."

"What did it say?"

"He quoted Hemingway that time. _'There is no friend as loyal as a book.'_ It was fitting for her. We moved so much, it seemed books were her only friend. The rest of what he wrote that really gives her trouble."

"Why's that?"

"'_There is no friend as loyal as a book.'_ _But if you lose one, that's ok, because you'll still have me. No matter what happened, or what does, I'll still love you kid. 'I wove my webs for you because I liked you' because you're my little light. I'm here for you always."_ She didn't really need to explain the why.

"Oh Em… she must've been…"

"Inconsolable." Elizabeth finished. "She was hurting and it only got worse after that. The next time we moved she took the packing to a new level. It was compulsive. But she got through it. Mostly."

"I've seen her book collection. Winnie the Pooh's not in there."

"No. It wouldn't be." Elizabeth explained. "She got it back, locked herself in her room for a day and then she just gave it to me. She handed it to me and said it wasn't hers anymore, that she shouldn't have it. Now I keep it safe in a display case hoping one day she'll be able to look at it again. Hasn't been able to for more than a passing second yet."

"You know, you look at her, and you just see a beautiful and strong woman. You'd never know all the hurt and pain she had in her life."

"No you wouldn't. Not that she would've told me even if I did see it."

"I guess this is where I tell you that it's not just you…" Elizabeth placed a hand on JJ's shoulder and offered a small smile. "She seems very on edge today." The blonde stated.

"She will be… It's…" JJ was flustered by the ambassador's lack of her usual poise and well-spoken demeanor. "She's… Don't let her push you away. And keep an eye on her this week."

"What's this week?"

"It's… His birthday is Monday. The day of his death is hard, but his birthday is always harder. We tend to avoid each other on that day. Keep an eye on her for me, will you?"

"Of course… I promise."

"And I know she's hard to get to know. She doesn't know how to let people in, but that's my fault. Don't let that push you away."

"Hey, what are you two whispering about?" Emily teased as she returned. "I'm positive I have everything. Will's helping put the things in the car. Henry and Charlie are in their seats. We're all that's left."

"Well, I better go help Will then." She turned to the ambassador. "Thank you for having us here Elizabeth. I had a great time."

"I'm glad. Come back with Emily anytime. Safe travels."

"Thank you."

Once JJ was gone, only the Prentiss women were left. "I really liked spending time with you mother."

"And you have no idea how lovely it was to have a house full of family. You have some good people in your life Em. Don't be afraid to let them in."

"I'm not."

"Ok…" She could see pushing her daughter would just make her regress. That was how she got this time of year and they made such progress she wasn't ready to ruin. "Just lean on them. And call me."

"I will mom." She knew what her mother was referring to. "We'll be ok."

"Because we're Prentiss women. We don't know how not to be. That's what gives us trouble."

"Maybe. This week has been very good for us though, and we'll make time to see each other more often."

"It has been wonderful and I hope we do. Thank you so much for coming here and bringing her."

"I'm glad we're… doing better."

"Take care of yourself." Elizabeth maternally caressed her daughter's cheek. "And let others take care of you. I love you Emily."

"I love you too mom." They embraced.

"Now go. If you miss your flight you'll have a coronary." They both had tears in their eyes. The time was so good for everyone it was hard to end it, but they had lies to get back to. "Go, and tell him I miss him too."

"I… I will." She stuttered.

"Call me to let me know you arrived safely." She nodded and grabbed the small bag at her feet. They shared one last look before her mother waved goodbye and they were off.

It was goodbye Paris, hello Virginia. If only it was that simple though.

Charlie had a rough night sleep wise. They stayed up late, which was ok, and everyone but Emily was asleep by midnight. It worked out because Emily intentionally booked the return flight so they'd arrive on American soil early Sunday morning. If they slept the plane ride, it'd be better for the jetlag from the time differences. Unfortunately, though, Emily forgot the gum or candy for Charlie to have so the ear barotrauma upon takeoff and landing didn't affect her. And JJ only had the kind Charlie was allergic to. Needless to say, the flight was not an easy one.

"Mommy! Please, it hurts. Make it go away."

"I know baby. It's going to be ok. You're going to be alright. It'll pass."

"Now. Make it go now!" Her daughter cried as she buried herself into Emily's body. She tried all the tricks she could think of but nothing was working. Her daughter was tired, cranky, and in pain. Worst of all, they were 30,000 feet in the air and there was little she could do about it. She felt helpless.

"Shut the kid up." A frustrated ass of a passenger yelled at her. "Tell the brat to quit her whining and suck it up."

"Hey Jerk, why don't I hold you down and make it so your ears hurt and see how you like it? Better yet, why don't I introduce your… undoubtedly little… friend…" She looked down to his lap to make the friend obvious. "To my FBI issued Glock and we'll see who's whining like a little bitch then…"

JJ decided to intervene then. "Emily…" He backed down. If her words didn't do it, the mama bear, so much as look at my kid and I'll put a hit out on you' look did. Plus, a friend joining in… He was terrified of getting his butt kicked by a pair of hot girls. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine. How could I forget gum… or lollipops? What kind of mother does that?"

"Hey, it's ok. And she is too. In a little while she'll fall asleep and eventually forget all about it. She's fine. And you're a good mother. Just relax." Emily just sighed and threw her head back into the seat. "What's going on Em? You've been… off all morning or night or whatever time it is wherever we are."

"I just didn't sleep well last night. Not enough coffee today I guess. My mom's staff doesn't believe in leaded. Now she's cranky and I can't do anything for her."

"Look, Will and Henry are asleep, I can take her for a minute and give you a little space."

"Really, I'm ok."

"Alright, but if you change your mind…"

"I know where to find you." She smiled.

"Just try not to threaten to shoot off anyone else's… friends."

"Can't make that promise."

As she continued to soothe Charlie, she was relieved when the girl finally fell asleep. She didn't understand why she, herself, was so irritable. Sure, the late night and reminiscing wasn't easy, but she usually knew how to reign it in. It was just that time of year she supposed. Her father's birthday… Ugh, she didn't even want to think about it.

"Hey Jayje? Can you take her? I don't want her to wake up alone and I need to run to the bathroom."

"Sure. Go ahead." JJ took her friend's vacated seat and the sleeping girl into her arms, continuing Emily's stroking motion to keep her asleep as long as possible.

Emily just needed some alone time to splash some water on her face and get it together. She knew it was a bad idea to look at that book. That book did things to her. It made her feel things she didn't want to feel and had been not feeling for many years. And it always seemed this rough time of the year came, without fail, when things were going well for her. Which they were; they were going so well.

When she returned, she was composed and ready to just relax. Charlie, however, woke in a foul mood. It wasn't her fault. The stupid air pressure was making her daughter miserable and she was doing her very best to just keep it together and not let her mind wander to other things. Focus on Charlie.

"You ok?"

"I'd be better if you stopped asking." She bit.

"I'm sorry."

"No, I am." She didn't want to be a bitch and ruin the good week they all had with her attitude. It just seemed liked she couldn't help it. "I just don't know how to help her." She said quietly, Charlie's head resting on a pillow in her lap as she ran her hand through her hair. "I've tried everything and nothings working."

"I know, it sucks, but it will go away."

"Before my baby goes deaf with the headphones that loud?"

"She's fine. She just wants to watch the movie… loudly."

"Not helping."

Charlie did watch a little of the movie, but her ears were making it hard and she was uncomfortable. "Are we almost home mommy? I want to be home."

"A few more hours Charlie."

"But that's too long!" She cried.

"Just hang in there ok? We'll get your ears to pop." It took a lot of whining and a lot of trying, but, finally, as the plane landed, her ears did pop. Then she was crying for that. "I know Charlie Bear, I know. Let it out."

They were a mess, but they were home and happy, mostly, and relatively healthy, so that was all they could ask for. Even if the plane ride home left something to be desired, they still had a great time. "That guy from the plane was totally checking out your ass when you were grabbing the bags off the carousel, but as soon as he saw it was you, he practically ran away with his hand on his… friend."

"He better run. My," she looked for the kids to make sure they were a safe distance away, "Ass is not for his viewing."

"No, just for Mr. Boss Man to grab at."

"Yes ma'am." She winked.

"Come on Em, let's get home."

Their luggage seemed to double with all of them together and the gifts they brought back for everyone. "Did we really buy that much?" Emily asked as they unloaded the car at her the LaMontagne-Jareau household.

"I didn't, but you did." JJ reminded her.

"I did not."

"You bought Henry three stuffed animals… which he doesn't need by the way. All on the same day when you said you wouldn't spoil him."

"I did not spoil him." JJ just gave her a look. "Ok, I did… But he wanted them. And he was cute. And, shut up Jayje. Don't look at me like that. When in France, I shop like the socialite I was born to be."

"I can see that. Garcia will certainly be pleased you did."

"Yeah? You think she'll like it?"

"All of it! Everyone will. You're making me look bad Prentiss."

"I had to do something to show you up."

"Keep telling yourself that."

"I will." She yawned. "That airplane made me yearn for my bed."

"Me too. We're just going to sit around and do nothing all day."

"I'm hoping we'll do the same. I know a little girl who needs a bath and a very long nap. As fun as this trip has been, it's going to be hard heading back to work tomorrow."

"Ugh, don't remind me."

"Let's hope it's an easy day to transition back in. No cases."

"My sentiments exactly."

"Come on. Let's get these bags in your house so I can get my cranky girl into bed and do my own unpacking."

Nodding, the two went to help with the last of the bags as the kids hung out in the front lawn. "Are you sure you don't want Will to follow behind you guys to help you unload?"

"I'm positive. Thanks though."

"Are you kidding me? Thank you. I had such an amazing time. You have no idea."

"I think I do."

"Well, seriously Em. Thank you for doing this."

"It was for me too. I'm glad you came. I'm glad we did this."

"Alright, go, before this turns into a jetlag fueled emotional love fest."

"Who wants that?"

"Bye Em. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bright and early."

Emily helped Charlie back into her seat as she gave the driver her address. "Mommy look!" Charlie yelled as they pulled into their driveway. She barely waited for the car to come to a complete stop before unbuckling herself and running out the car door. "Daddy!" She called, suddenly bright and cheery.

"Charlie!" He held his arms open. "You must've grown a whole foot while you were away. You're a giant now."

"Nu uh."

"Yeah."

"No silly. I'm still Charlie." She laughed and hugged him tight. "I missed you daddy."

"I missed you too. So much."

Emily walked up to them with a big smile on her face. Boy, was she happy to see him. "At least she's in a good mood for someone."

"What do you mean?"

"She's a little cranky."

"Am not!" She hissed.

"Case and point."

"Mommy's mean today. She wouldn't make my ears better."

"Not for lack of trying." Emily sighed. "Charlie, why don't you take your carryon bag up to your room to unpack it?"

"No. I don't want to."

"Please?"

"No. I want to stay here with you and daddy."

Hotch caught her attention and said, "Don't be mean to mom, ok? That's not nice. Will you please do what she asked and then, once I've helped her bring in the other bags, I can come up to see you."

"You will?"

"Cross my heart."

"Ok."

He put her down and sent her on her way. Looking at Emily, he could tell it was a long trip back for her. "You look exhausted." He told her.

"Thanks."

"Beautiful, but exhausted."

"Do I get a hug too? Maybe then I'll feel better."

"More than a hug." He took her in his arms and gave her a proper welcome home kiss. "I'm happy you're home and I can see you again."

"You missed me?"

"Absolutely."

"I missed you too. Talking every night for a few minutes through a computer screen isn't the same."

"It's definitely not. But that doesn't matter now."

"Not even a little." She wrapped her arms around his neck. "One more kiss before I make you my pack mule."

"I will be at your service."

Lips still grazing after another much needed, much missed, kiss, Emily said, "Now get to work." She swatted his butt.

"Ma'am yes ma'am."

As soon as the driver had all the bags out of the trunk and onto the pavement, she tipped him and sent him on his way. It took a few trips to get everything into the house, but they managed. It didn't help her get any energy back, but it was done. When did she get so bad at bouncing back from jetlag?

"Those were heavy."

"We brought a ton back."

"Really? Anything for me?"

"You mean other than me?" She teased. "Yeah, we both got you something. Charlie will give you her thing later. We got something for Jack too. I was hoping we'd see him again soon."

"We can arrange that."

"Good." She did her best to stifle another yawn.

"Why don't I make you some coffee while you do whatever it is you want to do right now."

"I don't _want_ to unpack, but I probably should."

"You don't_ have _to. We can have a family day."

"Mmm, that sounds nice. Compromise? A family unpacking day?"

"If I need to help with that to spend time with my girls, then count me in."

"Well, if I knew that was all it would take to get you to do some of my menial labor, I would've gotten together with you ages ago."

"Oh really?"

"Who would say no to their own personal man servant as hunky as you?"

"Hunky huh?"

"I believe, and, mind you, I was drugged at the time," and unsure why that was something she vaguely remembered and was no repeating. "I called you my Vanilla Adonis."

"Do I need to cut off your Garcia time or should I threaten drug screenings like I do her?"

"Neither. Just keep being here."

"That I will definitely be doing. Now." He pushed away from the counter he had her pinned against. "I'm going to make your coffee while you go start unpacking, and then I'm going to take care of Charlie so you can finish what you need and we can have some time all together."

"Sounds perfect."

"Go then. Get a move on."

"Bossy."

"They don't call me Boss Man for the fun of it."

"Actually, I think we do."

"Go."

"Geesh, I'm going." She laughed and walked away.

Familiar and comfortable in her home, he brewed them up some coffee and even a little snack, figuring, though he knew she would've made sure Charlie had, she probably hadn't eaten much. "Black, one sugar, and some… well, you didn't have much food so, toast."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Drink, eat, I'll be with Charlie."

As Emily sorted the suitcases deciding what needs to go where and wondering how many trips up the stairs it was going to take to put it all away if she unpacked down there, Hotch found his daughter in disarray. "Wow." Hotch looked around. The things, he could only assume were from her bag, were scattered all around the otherwise clean room. "I thought mommy asked you to put stuff away, not throw things around."

"Ugh!" The little girl, in a frustrated frenzy, just kept tossing things around. "I don't care what mommy said!"

"Hey, hey." He caught some of the things she was throwing his way. "Stop. What are you doing?"

"I can't find it!" She stomped her foot, her arms crossing over her chest. Well, at least there was no more throwing.

"Find what?"

"Jazz. I need to find Jazz! Right NOW!" Emily was right about her being miserable and that showing even more when tired.

"Stop yelling." He firmly demanded. Time to be the disciplinarian and give Emily a break.

"But I can't find it…" Her anger and frustration turned to sadness.

"I know. And I promise to help you look. But first, let's clean up this mess."

"Will you help me?"

Sitting on her bed and placing the items in his hand down next to him, he answered, "I absolutely will. But I think you need to come give me another hug first."

"Ok." She wanted that too.

"I missed you so much sweetheart."

"I missed you too daddy. So did mommy. You should've come with us. We went to Disneyland there!"

"You did?"

"Mmhmm. Me and Henry went on lots of rides."

"You had a really fun trip, didn't you?"

"Yeah. Grandma, my mommy's mommy, not your mommy, was there and we went shopping just me and her."

"Buy anything good?"

"I got a dress and shoes and toys. She bought me loads of stuff."

"Really?"

"Uh huh. And she helped me pick something out for you too!" She clapped excitedly. "I have to get it from mommy!"

He grabbed her hand before she could run off. "Are you forgetting something?"

"No?"

"Your room needs to be picked up."

"But I want to get your present."

"And I want you to clean up first so that we can all have some time together."

"No, I want to get it now! And I need Jazz! I can't… I need Jazz!" Her mood changed so quickly, but he knew how cranky kids worked.

"Charlie."

"No! Now."

"Stop. I will go see if your mom knows where Jazz is if you promise to work on cleaning while I do that."

"Fine." She huffed. "But you better not be lying or I'll… I'll be super mad at you!" Even all frazzled and unstable, she was adorable.

"Take it easy. The room better be tidy by the time I come back." He wanted to add in that very parental 'or else' statement, and he probably should have, but he could see the girl, like her mother was just tired after a long, restless flight. He had to wonder if JJ was as worn. He hoped not, but if she was, their team was in for a treat the next day.

But that was beside the point. He left the child to do what she needed to do and went to talk with Emily, hopefully to return with the little stuffed monkey. "Emily?" He asked the seemingly empty room when he didn't see her head over the top of the couch. When he received no answer, he worried for a moment before getting closer to look around. Maybe she stepped out for some fresh air. The worry ceased though, when he found her lying in a half seated position, her body angled oddly onto the arm of the couch, legs down on the ground and the very MIA monkey in question being hugged against her chest.

Smiling, he found the scene so adorable. Knowing she needed some rest and not wanting to wake her, but still wanting her to be comfortable, he slipped off her pristine white tennis shoes, lifted her legs onto the couch, and placed a pillow under her head. The fact that light sleeper Emily hadn't woke from the movement made him realize just how much she needed the sleep, and it gave him an idea.

Leaving Emily there, he returned to Charlie. Thankful to find some of the mess gone, Hotch sat on her bed. "Guess what?"

"What?"

"I found Jazz." Ok, so that was a bit of a stretch.

"You did?!" She searched his body for the little purple mass. "Where is he? I don't see him. Is he hiding? Jazz, that's not very nice!"

"Well, mommy fell asleep with Jazz, so he's downstairs with her."

"Mommy's sleeping?"

"She is."

"Ok, then she can borrow Jazz, just for now though."

"Sounds fair." He told her. "So, what do you say we take a break from putting this stuff away?"

"Are we going to play?"

"Not exactly. You and mommy have been out of the house for a while and you don't have much food in here. It's almost lunch time, so you and I can go for some food and then go shopping for the house." He knew with her irritable mood it could be an interesting trip, but he also knew if he didn't do it, Emily would as soon as she woke up and would feel behind. It was the least he could do for her.

"Without mommy?"

"Yeah, we're going to let her sleep."

"Ok."

"Alright, let's go then."

After writing a quick note so Emily didn't wake up to panic when no one was around, the two went out to eat. Very precociously, Charlie whipped out her French to order. The waitress was impressed. "That's how we did it in Paris." She explained with excitement.

"Do you know what you ordered?" He knew she might've been able to speak and understand simple, conversational French, probably even more so since the trip and flexing the same muscle her mother had for picking up languages, but he also knew she couldn't read it.

"Food?" She said innocently.

"Do you know what kind?"

"The kind mommy got for me when we went out?"

"Alright." He shrugged. Hopefully she liked it, whatever it was.

Turns out she did. The two used the time to talk all about the trip and all the fun that was had, Charlie sparing no details. "What did you do without me since we were gone?"

"I saw your uncle Sean."

"The one that brings me chocolates?"

"That's the one."

"Did he bring more? Those were really, super yummy."

"Sorry, not this time. But he says he wants to see you again."

"Really?"

"Yes. Maybe next time he comes by for a visit, we can all go see grandma again."

"Awesome! Jack and mommy too?"

"We'll have to see what we can arrange."

They had a nice chat, but it was really time to get a move on. So, once they were done, Hotch asked if his take out items that he picked up for Emily were ready to go and paid the bill. Grocery shopping was a bit of a challenge. As well as he knew Emily, her eating habits, though similar enough to his own, minus the coffee and chocolate obsession, he wasn't sure what to buy. According to Charlie they should just get all the boxes with "cool pictures and pretty colors." That was not an option. Emily would murder him.

So, instead of going for the more specific things and brands, he went with what he knew. She was a vegetable person, so couldn't go wrong with that and fruits too, but nothing outside the basic varieties. Bread was a check and chicken too. As long as they had enough to restock the fridge and get them through until there was more time for Emily to shop, then he did what he set out to do.

"Can we get some brownies?"

"I don't think so. We bought ice cream. We don't need both."

"But I want both."

"No Charlie. No brownies."

"But…"

"I said no."

"You're a meanie!" She pouted, a scowl and glare set right at him. Emily was right, she needed that nap. And soon…

Not willing to argue with her in the middle of the store, he told her to hold onto the cart because they were leaving. They checked out the food, packed the groceries into the trunk, and returned home. "Go to your room." He told her once they got there. He checked on Emily to find her still fast asleep; a good two hours, not too bad, but he'd have to wake her soon or he knew she wouldn't be too happy. Though, the idea of keeping her company when she couldn't fall asleep later that night almost made him want to let her just sleep the day away. But, then, he decided, he wanted time with all three of them, so he was just going to let her sleep a little longer as he helped Charlie. "Finish cleaning and I'll be right up."

"Fine."

When she knew he wasn't happy with her, grumpy as she was, she didn't fight him. She finished the little bit of her room left and sat patiently for him to come. He was happy to see the room as it should be and her without the scowl. He just hoped he could coax her into bath and nap time without issue. Somehow, he managed. She was probably just too tired to fight.

"Will you braid my hair daddy?" Did he know how to do that? No… But for her, he'd do his best.

His best was still horrible, but it got her to lie down with him until both fell asleep in her bed. That was what Emily woke up to see. Noticing she was behind in all she wanted to get done, she left them there and started bringing everything upstairs. It just made her want to nap again. Long day…

But, Hotch didn't stay asleep long and eventually caught up with her. "Hey."

"Hi. Nice nap?"

"It was. Yours?"

"Mine too. Thank you… So I saw my bathroom is a mess…"

"Sorry."

"No, don't worry about it. She was adamant about not taking a bath simply because she didn't want to. What did you say to get her in there?"

"Let's just call it a trade secret. Fathers only."

"What, no mothers allowed?"

"Exactly."

"You're lucky I love you."

"I really am." He agreed with her. "We picked you up some food from that little place down the street. There's a container in the oven for you to heat up whenever you want."

"Awesome, I don't think I've eaten all day."

"Not even the toast?"

"When I woke up the toast wasn't toasty anymore. So I'm starved."

He escorted her into the kitchen and brought her a heated plate of food. "Did you pick this or Charlie?"

"Depends on if you like it or not."

She took a bite. "Oh, so good. It's one of my favorites from there. They always make it so authentic."

"In that case… Charlie did." He so did. He knew she loved it.

He let her eat in peace until deciding to bring up something that was on his mind. "So, there's something I wanted to bring up and now feels like a good time. We don't have to talk about this fully now, but I at least wanted to know what you want to tell her."

"Tell her?" Emily questioned.

"What do we tell Charlie about us? Or… Do we tell her about us?"

"I…" The fork stopped mid path to her mouth. She honestly didn't have an answer. "I'm not sure… I mean, I never introduced her to someone I was dating, but this is…"

"We're not just dating Emily. We're in a relationship… finally together after years of both intentional and unintentional courting."

"I know. You're right. And you're her dad… But I don't want her to read more into it… You know?"

No, he didn't know or understand… "I don't…"

"I love you." She responded quickly, cutting him off.

"And I love you."

"Right, and she loves both of us… So, if she knows mommy and daddy are in a relationship, she might just assume it means forever…"

"Would that be so bad? Forever with me? Giving her that family?"

"No… not at all. I want that. I'd love that. But… it's… I want her to know. But I'd like to go out with you on a real date and get to that really solid ground before we go giving her that image."

"Ok. I can understand that. And I don't think it will take long to get there."

"Confident, are we?"

"Very." He nodded and cleared her plate. As he washed the dishes, he saw a package siting on the counter. "What's this?"

"Oh… I almost forgot to give that to you. It's from Charlie and me. She got you her own thing too, but that's from us." Delicately, she slid the box toward him.

"Should I open it?"

"Absolutely."

Opening the gift box, he revealed a gold tie clip with and inscription on the back. "La famille est un havre de paix dans un monde sans cœur."

"The family is a haven in a heartless world." She told him. "Your French accent is terrible by the way."

Ignoring the dig, he read the last bit. "A. J. C."

"All of your initials. You, Jack, and Charlie." She explained. "I thought about including me and Haley, but we don't need a letter there to know we're part of this family. I just, I know you have a very special tie clip from Jack, but now you have one from Charlie too. And that saying is to remind you that, at the end of the day, no matter what evils we face or what we go up against, there are people at home who love you and will be the escape."

"Thank you. I love it." He kissed her. "You're part of that family too. Your initial should be on there."

"I know I am. And you know I am, so it doesn't need to be."

The two used their alone time to just cuddle on the couch with some crappy TV, really, to just be with each other and talk. It didn't last long though as Charlie woke and joined them. Not that they minded that at all. But they did have to put a little space between them and neither wanted that loss of contact. It was just so nice to actually just be… couple-ly. Emily had to laugh when she saw her daughter. "Charlie, did you try braiding your own hair again?"

"No, daddy did it? Isn't it great?" She spoke happily.

"Uh… yeah…" She gave Hotch a 'never again do that to my baby' look. "Very… something."

"What are you doing without me?" Charlie seemed in a much better mood. A little rest helped her feel like herself again.

"Just watching TV."

"What are you watching?" She asked as she snuck into the small space between them, the three all nestled together like it was the most natural thing in the world. Maybe it was, and that was what they were missing all along. Charlie chattered on as she took over the controls searching for something "fun and not boring" like the stuff they liked. Emily looked to Hotch, smiled, and laid her head on his shoulder.

She could spend the rest of her life in that very spot and be a very happy woman. That was what she wanted all her life, and it finally felt like she had it. She had her daughter and she had him. "I love you." She whispered.

"Love you too." He reciprocated as he placed a chaste kiss on her temple and wrapped his arm around her.

That was where they spent the remainder of the night save for the hour or so they spent eating dinner. Aaron cooked for them, effectively making Emily tingle with delight. Most of the guys she was ever in a relationship with wouldn't lift a finger for her. He surpassed any and all of her expectations even before they were together. Now she was just feeling it more. She was allowing herself to feel it and let him in, just as he was. It was a learning process for both of them, but a journey they were willing to take together.

"Time for bed Charlie Bear."

"But mommy… I'm not tired… and daddy's still here."

"Maybe daddy wants to hang out with mommy."

"But why?"

"Because I'm his friend?"

"Well, so am I."

"No arguing please. It has been a long day and even with our naps I know we're both tired."

"Then me and daddy can tuck you in! We'll read you a story. Won't we daddy?"

"I think I have a better idea." He told them.

"You do?" asked the mother and daughter.

"Yeah, and it involves both of you in your pajamas. So go get changed, ok?"

Too excited to ask any questions, Charlie just ran off. But Emily remained a tad skeptical. "Am I going to like this idea?"

"You are." He nodded.

"Are you going to tell me the idea?"

"Take it easy. You'll find out in a minute. First, pajamas."

"I'm not five, you can't order me into pajamas."

"Not even if I planned to order you out of them after?" He gave her a sly smile.

"You didn't say anything about sexy pajamas."

"No, well, with Charlie here I think we better save those for another day, but I like the way you think."

"So you're really not going to tell me?"

"Come on Em, I'm just going to read you both a story."

"You're going to read _me_ a story?"

"Yes. You and her. We're all going to hang out in your bed and I'm going to read a story. When Charlie falls asleep, I will pick her up and carry her to her own room so you can get a good night's sleep. And then I'm going to spend a little more time with you before leaving myself. I promise to be nothing but a gentleman. Scout's honor."

"I picked a good one."

"Yeah, you got lucky." He joked.

Emily agreed to his plan though. Hotch and Charlie were already lying on her bed when she came out of her bathroom. "Starting without me?"

"No way mommy. I just picked a book!"

"Sweet. But hey, why don't you give daddy your present before he reads for us?"

"Oh yeah! I got you a cool watch daddy!"

"Well, there goes the surprise." Emily laughed, "She picked it out all by herself."

"With grandma."

"Yes, all by herself… with grandma."

Charlie ransacked the bag Emily pointed to until she yelled, "Found it!" Running back, she handed Hotch the gift. "For you daddy."

"Wow, I love it." He told her when he saw it. It was an amazing watch; way too expensive, but beautiful.

"I picked the black one. You like black, right?"

"I do. Thank you so much Charlie. I'll set the time when I get home and wear it tomorrow."

"You will?"

"Yeah, I'm going to show everyone the coolest gift my Charlie got me."

That made Charlie proud and happy, but didn't make her any less tired. She was inching closer until finally, she was leaning into his side. "Will you read to me now daddy?"

"As soon as mom gets in bed."

"Well, what's she waiting for?"

"Ask her."

"Mommy, what are you waiting for? We're trying to read here."

"Sorry. Sorry." She apologized as she laid on the opposite side of him.

"Everyone set?"

"Yup." They answered and settled in for their nighttime tale.

Charlie was out after the first couple of pages, but he read on anyway to see if he could get his other big girl to stop fighting the sleep. He couldn't. "The end…" He finished.

Eyes closed and speaking into his body, she mumbled, "She was asleep pages ago."

"But you weren't." He responded.

"You didn't need to keep going."

"Maybe I wanted to." He patted her back. "Don't move ok? I'm going to put her in bed."

"Mmhmm, alright…" She didn't want to move, but she also didn't want him to either.

He lifted her off the bed and put Charlie in her own. He knew the exact ritual now. He knew that if it was really warm out and the air conditioning wasn't on, she liked her foot, just one, to hang out of the blanket, but still liked to cuddle with the rest. And Jazz had to be within reaching distance at all times. He knew the drill, and he loved it. "Goodnight sweetheart. I love you." He kissed the sleeping girl before returning to Emily.

When he returned, he got in the bed behind Emily and spooned her, wrapping an arm around her. "You're cozy." She told him as she moved back into him.

"You're a little boney."

"I'll work on that."

"You should. Fatten you up a little. You're too skinny."

"I haven't heard any complaints from you before."

"Oh, and you won't. Ever. I love you exactly how you are." He ran his hand down her hip.

"Hmmm. That feels nice. Keep doing that."

"Only if you try to sleep. Back to work tomorrow. My agents need to be alert."

"So it's an order then. From my boss."

"A firm suggestion… From your boyfriend."

"I'll try… Just… Don't move… Hold me. Ok?"

"That's all I want to do."

So he did, he held her tight against him and stayed by her side, occasionally running his hand over her arm or side in a show of love. But after an hour or so he was the one drifting off instead of her. "Em… Emily…"

"Hmmm?" She may not have been sleeping, but her mind was finally settled. Him being there allowed her to think of them, of those dreams she had, and the future she imagined for them; everything but what the next day was.

"It's getting late. I should probably go."

"I don't want you to go." Not only was she comfortable in his arms, but if he left, she'd be alone with her thoughts and it would turn into the hard night before an inevitably hard day. All those good thoughts would be gone.

"I know, but I need to."

Pouting, she said, "But I'm so comfortable."

"You don't have to move."

"But my body pillow's leaving." She teased, and turned herself around to face him. "I wish you could stay."

"I wish I could too, believe me. But it's a school night for us old people. Back to the daily grind and I don't have any clothes here." He told her. "And, Charlie doesn't know. If she sneaks in and finds me here, we'd have some serious explaining to do."

"I know. Doesn't mean I have to like it."

"I love you Em." He told her as he got out of bed. Leaning over to kiss her, he didn't want to let go either, but he needed to. "See you tomorrow."

"Love you too Aaron. Lock up ok?" She didn't need to mention that. All he wanted was to keep them safe. She really did want him to stay…

Charlie did sneak in later that night. Emily was still wide awake trying her best to just succumb to the tired. Nothing was working though. So her daughter was a welcomed reprieve. She always was. "Get in here." She held up the blanket for her when she saw the girl at the door.

Sleepily smiling, she hopped into the bed and laid nest to Emily. "Mommy?" She said quietly.

"Yeah?"

"I liked having daddy with us all day."

"Me too." Having him there felt right. To both of them.

If only he knew to be there for her in the morning when she'd really need him to be.

**Thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday. I feel old, but I had a nice day. So, only five more chapters left. I have two different endings in mind, one that gives complete closure and one that gives a lead in to a sequel. I haven't decided which to go with yet. Leaning toward the sequel still though. We shall see. **

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**

**rmpcmfan**** Hotch needed some good shock value. A man who would do that is a good man indeed. He definitely stepped up his game and proved what needed to be proved. Glad to see people liked it.**

**Sourgummycandy**** I loved your review. Thanks so much. I really did have so much fun writing that whole chapter. It all just flowed and felt right with me. I want that future with marriage and kids for them too. It would be an adorable little brood of Hotchners. Drama is a given, but nothing too major. The big stuff is over and now it's just solidifying the relationship. And thanks for the birthday wish.**

**Guest**** Thank you. Enjoy the new one. **

**Blackstarsing**** Heads out of ass, check! Lol The shower scene was incredibly fun to write. The whole chapter was. I enjoyed it. I'm glad you did too.**

**Celina79**** That's what I like to hear. Lots of smiling. Hotch's mom is always fun to write and throw in every now and then. I'm so glad you liked the chapter so much. And thank you, I had a great birthday and am done with school for a few weeks.**

**inheritancedrottningu**** I aim to scare. Just kidding. No, I wanted people to wonder because, truth is, it could've gone either way realistically, but I wanted that questioning to make for a better reunion between the pair. Thanks for the birthday wish.**

**ramona**** Thank you. Hope you enjoy this one too. =)**

**SouthunLady**** I was lurking, you were right. Emily and Elizabeth really did need that push forward in their relationship and Charlie was the perfect person to bridge that gap. Hotch did grow up. He made that sweeping declaration of love and made sure Emily felt that he meant it. Now they can be happy and in love and all that good stuff. Fluffiness ahead (maybe). I love Clyde. I know most people don't but I don't get it. I just have a soft spot for him maybe. Congratulations to your granddaughter. **

**Wiggle34**** I'm so glad to hear that you've enjoyed the story from the start. Thanks so much. **

**Guest**** Thank you. I like the readers and commenters to feel like they're appreciated, so I do hope that comes out when I respond personally. I try anyway. And thanks again. I'm happy they're happy too. It was about time.**


	41. Be Your Solid Ground

_I do not own Criminal Minds, only the characters I have created in that world._

**Time just flies by, huh? I'm already getting ready to go back to school this week so I put off updating knowing my schedule will be hectic again. Oh summer, where art thou? How hast thee disappeared through yonder time… Come back. **

**So, enough of my desperate attempt to get summer back and on with the show… **

**Chapter 41: Be Your Solid Ground**

Emily awoke Monday morning after an hour's sleep, only to find it was still dark, hours before her alarm was due to go off. Her thoughts after Hotch left ran rampant just as she figured they would. The only reprieve she got was when Charlie came in and they both fell asleep together. A good cuddle never hurt. But there she was, just an hour later, up at 2 am with the thoughts again. The train jut wouldn't stop.

She was plagued by all the memories. Her father was… a complicated man. Like they all were. And she didn't spend nearly as much time with him as she would have liked, but she loved him. He was her daddy. She was his little Em. And then he was just nothing to no one… but gone, passed away, deceased… dead…

And it still felt like her fault, like all of it and all that followed was her fault.

She just wanted to scream or cry or even both. But she couldn't do either. She didn't even want to be awake. Why couldn't she just sleep the day away until the unbearable, long avoided, grief that came with the day turned into the normal pain that remained just deep enough below the surface to keep manageable? Realizing that the sleep she so badly wanted to take over was nothing more than a distant friend and that tossing and turning would only wake her daughter, Emily decided to start her day extremely early with a jumpstarting workout in her neglected gym.

Sweating. That was all she got from that. Sure, she worked the edge off and with the sweat that poured out of her went some of her feelings, but not enough to leave a dent, certainly not enough to ease any of it. It was the one day of the year she missed her father the most. It was the one day of the year she allowed herself to really think about him. And this year, this year it was a lot more than hurt and yearning. There was anger and sadness and a whole mess of emotions so jumbled together they were practically undiscernible.

Maybe step two would help; the shower. The warm spray from the jet stream, the faint vanilla scent of the body wash… it usually did it for her. It usually gave her some sense of comfort. But not then. She was just a mess. All it really did for her was maker her think about and miss Aaron. Ah, Paris… Showers in Paris…

Clearly, working out didn't help very much with anything but giving her a sore body and the shower just gave her some alone time with her mind and a yearning for Aaron to return. But she didn't know what to try next. Through everything, she still didn't know how to lean on those she loved. She did know how to, that was a lie. The act of doing so, she knew how to do. It was the act of accepting that she should and believing it was ok that tripped her up every time. She needed to lean on someone, knew she should, but didn't feel she could, and it wasn't their doing. They proved time and again that they were there for her and her for them. So they weren't the problem. It was just her; defective her. And, as much as she wanted Aaron there, she didn't know how to ask, especially since they were in a relationship now. She didn't want to be that needy girl. She didn't want to be the woman who called her boyfriend over for every beck and call, every pain and ache… That wasn't her. Never would be.

Something in her brain told her that wouldn't be how he saw her. That wouldn't be how any of them would see her if she asked for some company. But that did little to sway her. Though she grew a lot that past year, learned to lean on people more, it was like she reached the quota. She leaned on them enough for so much already. She could get through one day on her own. Couldn't she? It was just a normal day…

After the shower, she still wasn't settled and it was still too early to do much else. When she returned to her bedroom, she saw the alert light on her phone blinking. She had a message. _Don't be alone today. Let people in and don't push them away. Sorry I can't be there with you. Love you Em. Take care of yourself. Talk soon Love._

"Damn it Clyde." She just wanted to be left alone and just get through that day without needing comfort, but there he was making her lose her resolve. She just couldn't be around people today or she'd break. She knew she would. So she did the only thing she could think of.

And Hotch wasn't going to understand what was going on, not until he was told… How could he? It wasn't like he could read minds, and even if he could, certainly not hers…

He tried calling their house early that morning, but no one answered. He assumed it was just a busy morning, afterall, there was a late start to unpacking, or she simply missed his call, no worries. When he arrived at work, he looked around the lot for her car just in case. She wasn't there yet, so he waited, hoping to catch her and walk in with her, really just get any extra alone time with her that he could. She must've decided not to come in early or was running late, he reckoned when her car never showed. Still nothing to worry about – yet.

But the worry grew as the day ran on. One by one his team showed up until all but Emily were there and if she didn't arrive soon, she'd be considered late. She was never late. The last time she was… well, Doyle came into their lives. When he saw he had a message waiting for him he was surprised to hear Emily's voice on the other end letting him know she was taking a personal day.

That wasn't like her. Something must've happened. But he called and called and she didn't pick up. That only had the worry increase. And JJ seemed to be having the same issues. "Come on Em, pick up." She spoke through the rings.

"Briefing in 10 guys." He said from his office door before trying her number once again. Why wasn't she answering?

The team gathered with an unease about them. "Where's Emily?" Morgan finally voiced the question on all their minds as they sat there with anxiety.

"She took a personal day." He explained and looked to JJ like she had the answer. The look on her face said she might be able to clue him in.

"Personal day? Prentiss?" She fought tooth and nail to come in when she was on medical leave, so it definitely wasn't like her to use a personal day.

"I thought you had a plan to get her to stay. What happened Hotch?" Morgan was angry, a pain of possible loss sparking the beginnings of outrage. It wouldn't get that far, but fear was a powerful motive.

"Please tell me she didn't take the job!" Garcia yelled. "Jayje, she came back didn't she? She didn't take it right? Right?!"

"Everybody, settle down." Hotch directed. "Emily has informed me she will be staying with this team." They all let out a collective sigh of relief. He didn't want to say more until he had Emily there and they could tell them what they wanted to tell them together. "I spoke with her, and she said that this is the job she wants and she's happy where she is."

"And yes Penelope, she definitely came home with me. She's here for sure, but it was a ing trip. I wouldn't be surprised if she stayed up all night unpacking with Charlie."

"Then where is she? Why isn't she here? Do I need to do some snooping? I will! I'll do it if someone doesn't give me some answers soon!" He almost wanted her to do a thing so he could have some answers too, but, he saw the other blonde and realized maybe all he had to do was talk to her for some answers.

"Charlie had a rough plane ride." He informed them and they looked to JJ.

"She did. Poor thing. Her ears were giving her a lot of trouble."

"Emily left me a message saying she was up with her all night and just needs the day to recover." He lied. "But let's focus. We have consults today. However, we are back in rotation and taking cases, so make sure you have go bags ready."

Once the briefing was over, he found JJ trying Emily again. "Can't get a hold of her either?"

"No. She's not answering."

"I'm worried. She was fine last night."

"I… You should go to her. She… She needs someone today and… I thought I could be her support, that she'd be here and I could keep an eye on her, you know, get her to lean on me… But she's not here… and you need to go to her."

"Is something going on?" Nodding, JJ filled him in on the day's significance.

"Tell Rossi I'm taking the rest of the day and he's in charge. There's a file on my desk I want him to look over." He quickly grabbed his suit jacket. "If anyone asks… Tell them… I don't care what."

"Just tell her that I'm here for her ok? Elizabeth said it was a hard day for her, but when you think Emily and hard day, you think it's Emily… She can handle it. But I don't think she handled this day at all for the last two decades."

"No, me either. Go back to the team. Keep Garcia in line. I will let you know how she's doing." He grabbed his bag and headed for the door, abruptly stopping to turn around. "And I'll make sure she calls you. Inform me if there's a case."

Hotch fled the office and drove straight to the Prentiss home. He was surprised when Sarah opened the door instead. "Emily's not here?" He asked.

"No?" She questioned why he didn't know that. "She's working… Are you… here to see Charlie?"

"No…" Unfortunately it wasn't a social call. Not completely. "Sarah, did Emily mention going anywhere today before she left?"

"No. She just said she'd be home normal time." Sarah, much like he probably had, looked worried. "Is there something wrong? Shouldn't you know where she is? Is this… Is this another one of those… situations?" She worded it delicately in case Charlie was in earshot.

"She called out today. She's fine…" He assured her. "We're just not sure where she is."

"So how do you know she's fine? Should I be worried?" More worried…

"Listen, this is important Sarah. Everything's fine. I don't want Charlie to know or worry either. There's no danger. I just want to find her. Do you know any place she'd go to feel close to her father?"

"Her father? Isn't he… He's dead."

"I know that. If she was thinking about him, where would she go?"

"I've known Emily for years. She only mentioned her father once when I asked about her parents and Charlie. Even then, the only thing she told me was 'He's dead. He won't be coming around.' So… I have no clue."

"Ok, if she calls the house to talk with Charlie can you tell her to please call me?"

"Of course… Are you sure everything's alright?"

"Everything's fine. It's just a hard day for her, and she needs some alone time. I just don't want her to _have_ to be alone. That's all."

"What's going on?"

"I'm serious. There's nothing going on. She's just having a hard day and I want to be with her. So please, tell her to call me or any one of us if she gets in touch."

"Alright." She conceded to his request.

"Thank you."

"Do you want to see Charlie before you go?"

"I'd love to." More than anything. "But I won't want to leave after and she won't want me to go."

"I understand."

"Thanks again." He waved as he walked away. Sighing as he got into his car, he realized he had two options. Well, three, but the first and most obvious, to just look for her, seemed like it would lead to many dead ends and just waste time. The point was to find her and be with her as soon as possible. And, as well as he knew her, if she didn't want to be found, she wouldn't be. That left two other choices, though there were a few places he did check before squashing the first idea.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending when he was asked, he didn't have to make the decision between the last two. He was beaten to the punch. He went to call Garcia, and, instead, his phone rang. "Ugh." If it wasn't for Emily… that number would definitely be blocked. "Hello Clyde." He answered. "I was just about to call you."

"She's not answering my calls. Her response to my message was 'I'm fine. Don't worry.' With her, that inevitably means to worry more."

"She called out today. I'm out looking for her now."

"You checked that park with the fountain?"

"And that hole in the wall bookstore she loves so much."

"Ah, the vintage seller. She wasn't there?"

"No. I checked her go to places. I don't know where else she'd go."

"I do. It's that time of year again. She tries to stay away, but she just can't." He passed along the address.

"That's a…"

"Exactly. That's where people go to see their loved ones."

Of course. That should've been one of the first few places he checked, not that he knew which to check. "Thank you."

"Happy to be of service. Make sure she knows _we_ are all here for her."

"I will." He hung up. "I want to hate him. I really do." But, the fact was, he couldn't. The blonde man fought for his relationship with Emily almost as much as they had. He pushed them together, talked reason, gave them a chance, and helped them every opportunity he could. It was his jealousy of Clyde's relationship with Emily that stood between them having a friendship of sorts.

Well, none of that mattered. He just wanted to get to Emily and make her know that she couldn't keep doing this, that she had the people around her that she let in only to push away again when a hard day came. That couldn't happen. But, before any of that, he was just going to be there for her.

He pulled into the lot across the street, before making his way over. It was a maze of stone and names, but he saw her. How could he miss her? Her beauty gave her away without ever seeing her face. Her shoulders shook as she her head buried into her arms, knees pulled up to her chest. It was heartbreaking and all he wanted was to take her into his arms and make it better. First he had to get to her. Slowly, not to startle her, he made his approach. She looked so ethereal, so perfect, the sun casting delicately on her pale skin, a few narrow rays escaping through the limbs of the tree overhead.

She heard him coming. His steps and the glimpse of his shoes gave him away, "How did you know to find me here?"

"I have my ways." He gave her a soft smile as he sat next to her before the headstone. "What are you having a party?" He motioned toward the container of cupcakes, nudging them over just a little to make room for him to sit closer.

She shook her head, but refused to even look toward him. "At Christmas the family was a mess. Easter, New Year's, Thanksgiving… We could never seem to pull it together. Honestly, we were rarely even in the same room, let alone the same continent… but somehow we always managed to get it right on his birthday."

"Today." He stated reading the epitaph.

"Yeah… Every year we'd make cupcakes, well I would make them with my nanny or whatever kind of adult was around to supervise and for at least an hour, we'd all be together eating our two cupcakes each – two because my dad always said one wasn't enough. And then we'd sit around as he opened his presents." She squeezed her eyes shut, willing the tears to stay there. "Those were some of the only good childhood memories I really have." It had been years since his death, but his birthday had always been special. It always seemed like the one time of year the family was all together and got to do something special. "Most of the time we were scattered. Major holidays were spent apart, sometimes oceans apart, my mother refused to acknowledge she even had a birthday, and mine just wasn't a big deal, but the universe always worked to bring us together this one day a year."

"So, you brought him cupcakes?"

"Yeah, want one… or two…" She pushed the box back toward him, sliding it over the crisp green grass.

"Only if you join me."

"Oh… I've had my fill, and his, and my mom's."

Shocked, and trying desperately not to laugh, he looked at her like she was crazy. "Emily… are you telling me you ate half a dozen cupcakes?"

"I had to keep up tradition…" She made an excuse. "I know it's disgusting right?"

"No it's… It's – six cupcakes… Really?" He laughed. The lightness was good for them.

"I'm stress eating! Leave me alone."

"Ok, eat all you want… But… when you start to feel sick, know I'm here. I'll even hold your hair back for you while you pay tribute to the porcelain gods." He told her. His smile toned down to a subtle grin, he grabbed her hand and added, "I know what it's like to miss your dad. My dad was a bastard, but there are moments when I'm with Jack and it just hits me. I realize I'm doing something with him that my dad used to do with me or teaching him how to tie his shoes the same way I was taught by him… And I miss him. That's ok. It's ok to feel and grieve. But you don't have to do it alone. You don't have to hide it from us… from me."

"The past few years, we were away on cases so I didn't have to feel. I just bought my cupcakes and ate them alone in a moment of solidarity with my father. Like a tribute almost. And before that, I was with Doyle or somewhere else. But this is the first year I really have to face it. There aren't any cases, I'm not in a different country… I'm right here… with him… facing it."

"Let me face it with you."

She couldn't hold it back anymore. Her face just broke out with the ugly cry face and the tears started coming. "I really miss my dad." She whispered as he pulled her into a tight hug. "I miss that hint of cigar smell when he'd come home from his guy's night playing cards with the other politicians and hug me goodnight. I miss that stupid way he'd come out with a quote for everything. And… and the way how, despite his flaws, despite mine, he made me feel worthy if only for a brief second… I really just miss him."

"Shh, it's ok." He rubbed her back. "Why don't you tell me about him? Tell me all the good things you remember."

He held her in his arms as they stayed next to the grave, and he just listened to her talk about her dad. In all honesty, it was the most he ever heard her willingly talk about her family. There were bits and pieces of her past revealed from time to time, random bites of information scattered throughout their time together, but very little at that. And it was the first time he really heard anything about her father. Even when he worked for the ambassador, the name was rarely spoken. Actually, he didn't believe it came up more than once when he asked whether Mr. Prentiss needed any protection too. Asking that was his rookie mistake… He wasn't completely aware of his charge.

"He's gone." Was the answer he received and he left it at that. He didn't know what gone meant, whether gone by death or choice, just that he didn't need his protection. And that was that.

When she was finished speaking about her father and her body stopped shaking, when it became just him holding her, a thought entered his mind. "Come with me?" He pulled away from her and moved to stand.

"Where?" She asked, saddened both by the situation and the loss of contact.

"This is a hard day for you, but it doesn't have to be just sad. We can make new happy memories too. So come with me."

She was weary, but agreed. "Ok, but… Can I just have a minute? I need… I need to talk to my dad."

He understood. So, nodding, he told her, "Sure, I'll be by the cars."

She waited for him to be gone before running her hand over the engravings. "Hi daddy." She educed to her fifteen year old self. "I know I was ignoring you, but I promise, I didn't mean anything by it. That man, that's your granddaughter's father. You'd like him I think. He's… I love him daddy. I love him more than I ever loved a man and I know he loves me too. It took us a long time and so, so many stupid and avoidable decisions to get us to this place, this place of acceptance and understanding and love… but here we are. We're dating. I don't know… I guess it's more than dating. We're exclusive? You know I was never good at the relationship thing. I know, I know what you're thinking. I was just 15 then. But, with him, I feel 15 again, all giddy with a school girl crush. Only, it's real daddy. I know it is. And I wish you were here to see it, to see me and who I turned out to be, to meet Charlotte… I wish you were here for all of it. But I know you're watching over me, probably eating your cupcakes too. Sorry, I didn't save you your favorite. I stress eat sometimes. Next year ok?" She stopped and ran her hand over the letters of her father's name. "I need you to do me a favor. Don't let me ruin things ok? I want this to work and I'm afraid I'm going to do something wrong or hurt him. I just… I need him. And you know I don't like to admit that. But Charlie and I need him. I need all of them. My team is my family now. But mom and I have been getting along. Crazy right? She says she misses you by the way. You'd be happy we're not fighting anymore." She smiled. She knew that would thrill him. "You did always say our bickering would be the death of you…" Her smile faded, the weight of that hitting her… They fought that day… "I'm sad that you already missed so much…" She had a very idealized view of her father, but that was what she needed for his memory. He was a good man and he loved them very much. That part was always true. "I really miss your hugs. I could use one of those today… I do a lot that I'm sure you're not proud of, but I hope the things you are make up for that. I hope I make you proud dad." She sighed. "We don't talk often, mostly because I refused to ever deal with your death… I didn't want to believe you were never coming back, but you're not. I have to face that now. I have to accept that you won't be here to walk me down the aisle one day or see any more of your grandchildren being born… Not that there will be more… Maybe… We'll see… But you won't be there for any milestones. I suppose… you never really were. But that didn't make me miss you any less. It didn't make me want you there any less. And I'm sorry… I'm sorry the last memory I – we have is me forcing you out of the house… pushing you to go and you… you died. I know. I know it's not my fault, but it feels that way sometimes. So I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. But this is it… This is the last time I come here. Not because I don't care or because I'm punishing you… but because it's not healthy… You're not here… You're with me everywhere, in my heart, maybe even watching over me, but you're not here. This is just a marker… a placeholder. I'll see you again someday. I'll see you every time something reminds me of you or in something Charlie does…I'll see you every time I hear her laugh… But not here. I need to face reality and grieve for you… really deal with your death because I couldn't then… I can now. I'm stronger now and I have people who can help me… So, I'll see you again, maybe I'll even come back here once I've truly healed… But I can't do this every year. It hurts too much to talk to a memory that was never real to begin with." She sighed. "I better go. Aaron's waiting. Keep looking out for us ok? I love you daddy. Happy birthday." Kissing her fingers and placing it on the headstone, she let her fingers linger before pulling away. "Thanks for listening. You'll always be with me. I'll always be your cupcake…"

Wiping the tears from her eyes, she made her way through the graveyard and to Aaron. "You ok?" He asked as soon as he saw her.

"I don't know. Ask me again later."

"Tell me what you need." He directed as he embraced her.

"You're already doing it… But I… I just need out of here."

"Ok, I can make that happen."

"So, where are we going?"

He smiled. "Get in your car and follow me."

"No hints?"

"I promise it will be fun."

As curious as she was, she knew that she needed to give him this. Though, all she wanted to do was crawl up in bed with a book or a movie along with him and Charlie cuddled up along with her, she knew this was what he wanted to do to help her. And maybe it would. So she'd follow his directions, she'd go wherever he took her, and she'd let him help her heal however he wanted because she ran from that for way too long and it was time to finally put her father to rest.

Expertly, she followed his car through road after road until his blinker went on and signaled for her to pull into some sort of plaza. Parking right next to him, she looked around to figure out where they were and what they were doing there.

"What's this place?" She asked as she met up with him again.

"Do you trust me?"

"With my life?"

"Then just follow me."

"Just because I trust you with my life doesn't mean I want to follow blindly…"

He convinced her to come along, no more questions. She knew she wouldn't say no, couldn't and didn't really want to. So, she pushed whatever reservations she had aside and took his hand.

"I called Sarah and the team."

"You told Sarah I was… gone? Missing? What does Charlie think?" She panicked.

"No, just that you called out and we were worried… It's not important. I asked her to stay late, so we have all night."

"Ok?" Did whatever they were going to do take all night?

"And I told the team you were safe and with me. They all expect an explanation tomorrow, and JJ and Garcia a phone call tonight."

"I can manage that."

"Good, now can we go in?"

"I guess so. Lead the way."

He took her to a table in a food court type setting. Little kids and teens were scattered about having some summer fun.

"When my father died, I was relieved… in a way. He was horrible to us, especially my mom. He cheated on her time and again… And I love her, but she wasn't strong enough to leave him, not even when he hurt us. So, I was relieved that that was over, but I was sad too. He was my dad. And I was angry. I was very angry because I didn't get my closure. I didn't get to tell him all that I wanted to tell him."

"What did you do? How did you get past it?" Not only could it help her too, but she was curious about his younger self.

"It took a while, but I did. I dealt with the anger in a place just like this."

"A sports center?"

"The batting cages." Ironically, one of the places his father was hardest on him. He could hear him like he was there. _You can do better than that Aaron! Fix your stance! Eyes on the ball! Pay attention, are you an idiot?!_ _You'll never make it at anything like this! _"It helped me work through some of my memories and release some of that anger."

"When my father died, I was barely 15. I…" She looked down, anywhere but at him and spoke without over thinking, not really even aware she was willingly bringing it up. "I had just had an abortion…" She didn't want to see his reaction to that. "The priest at our church shunned my friend and me. I caused my friend to question all he knew until he was spiraling out on drugs… Then we moved and I was… I sent my dad to his death. Can the batting cages fix that?" Her question was angry, but he didn't take it personally. More present than the anger was a desperation to make the pain stop and the memories change.

Temporarily ignoring the other facets of information he wanted to hear more about, he jumped directly to the topic at hand. "You didn't send your dad to his death."

"You don't know. You weren't there." She argued.

"Then tell me, so I can tell you all the ways what happened wasn't your fault."

"Every year… it's not even the anniversary of his death, but every year, on his birthday, my world just becomes… becomes this topsy-turvey ride. Like that feeling when you come off one of those really nauseating twisting and turning rides. I'm just… I'm dizzy."

"You don't need to do it alone. Let me be your solid ground when your world's unbalanced."

"But then your world just gets thrown too. Then you're on that ride too and neither of us are safe."

"And I'd be better for it. Our lives are connected. What hurts you, hurts me. I'm thrown either way. At least I can help you when you let me know why it's off. But… I'm proud of you Em… No matter what. And, as a father, I know he would be too. Know that. What happened, his death, it wasn't your fault. And as much as you miss him, it's time to allow yourself to grieve so you can think about him and be happy for the memories you do have instead of just sad for the memories you never can." He squeezed her hand. "Let me get you there. Let me be your foundation instead of you trying to be yours and all of ours, spreading yourself so thin the cracks just deepen."

"Ok." It sounded so easy, so right. While logically, she knew it wouldn't be, she had to try.

"Ok? Good. Now, let's go work out some of those repressed emotions."

He escorted her to the other side of the building that led to the outdoor range in the back. Paying and suiting up, they got into the cages. "Helmet on." He instructed her.

"But it'll mess with my hair." She mocked with a terribly bubbly voice, a nice levity to break from the serious tone the day had taken. It was a deflection, but it wasn't a total distraction.

"Ever play before?"

"If I lie and say yes what happens?"

"I put it on fast pitch and you get hit with a lot of balls."

"Your balls?" She joked. Deflection.

"Machine balls. Very fast machine balls."

"Ugh… ok… then no, I haven't ever played. I was involved in the occasional stick ball game and kicked around a soccer ball or two, but we never really stayed in one place long enough to play any organized sport."

"Ok." He walked up to her. "Stand here like this." Mimicking the pose, he showed her proper stance. "Just copy me."

Although she wasn't sure how this would be therapeutic or help with anything, she played along. "Like this?"

"No." He moved behind her. "Bend a little here." His hand went to the back of her knees. "Hand here on the bat." Then he guided her hands to proper place. "And elbows here."

"Am I doing this right?" Her stance was subpar. Her heart just wasn't in it as her mind was elsewhere. Not that they ever would have, but she and her father never got to do this… Another what if, another missed memory…

"Try swinging. Get a feel for it." Before he could fully get out of the way, she took a light swing and nearly caught his head.

"Woah, hey." He jumped.

"Oh god Aaron! I'm so sorry." More guilt…

"It's ok. It's ok." He tried to calm her. She looked on the verge of a breakdown. Years of pent up and ignored feelings were coming to a peak. It was about more than her father now. It was about all the things she buried. Letting herself feel for Aaron in a way she never allowed herself to feel for any man opened all the latches on her compartments. She couldn't close them all, especially this wound, without shutting the door on him… And that just wasn't something she was willing to do.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…"

"Take a breath. Relax. You didn't get me. I'm fine." He soothed. Calmed, he tried again. "Want to give it another shot?"

"Fine." She shook it off. "I'm ready. Send me a pitch." He hit the go button. The first ball came her way. Strike… no contact with the ball, no effort really made. "Well, clearly I'm not very coordinated."

"It's not that. We both know you are."

"Then enlighten me. What is it?"

Hitting the stop button, he stood behind her again. His hands slid down her sides. "Hips here. Just like this." One of his hands moved up her body, running against every curve. "You need to relax. Loosen your grip."

"Don't tell me to become one with the ball."

"I wouldn't dream of it." He pulled her to him. "Here, lean against me. Feel how it's supposed to feel." She followed his lead and leaned against him, her body molding to his as she felt every movement of the swing he took.

"Is this foreplay or baseball?" She leaned deeper into him. Being with him made her feel better. Being close to him made it better. "I think I prefer the latter. I'm not any good at the rest of this."

"You're not really trying."

"I am too."

"No, you're not. You're afraid to let go. Just try. Let go of the control. Let yourself feel and have fun. It's ok to move on from his death."

"I don't know if I can." She said quietly.

"You can."

"I'm just… Not…"

"Yourself today? The Emily I know puts her mind to it and accomplishes anything."

"I don't know where my mind even is today. How can I focus long enough to even hit a ball?"

"You'll get it. I promise."

"You're so sure. You better deliver on that."

"I will if you give it half a chance." He sighed and turned her around to face him. "Look Em… This isn't your thing. I get it. But even so, I think it will help. Just try because… I took Jack to do this, and soon I hope to take Charlie too. Maybe the three of us together, but I'd like it to be the four of us… It would be more fun if you at least knew what to do."

"Fine, guilt me into it."

"If you want to leave, we can go right now. We can go wherever you want to do whatever."

"I want to stay. Show me again. Help me learn how not to make a full of myself when we play with our kids and tell me how it helped you. What did you do?" He showed her again, this time with her actually giving it a chance. The first practice with a pitch went well and she made her first hit. "I did it!"

"You did great."

"What else did you do? There has to be more than hitting a ball right?"

"Yes and no."

"Ok?"

"Tell anyone and I'll kill you."

"Really? Who would you get to help hide my body?"

"Dave."

"I don't think so, try again."

"I'd just have to do it myself."

"Hmm, I think you'd make a bad UnSub."

"I would… And to answer your question. There's more. Sometimes it wasn't enough to just keep batting."

"So what did you do?"

"When it was something I just could stop thinking about, I'd say it out loud."

"That's it?"

"When I saw a pitch coming and readied the swing, I'd say whatever was on my mind, whatever was worrying me, and when the ball collided with the bat, it help me release it, just let it go." He smiled at her adorable skepticism. It was so very Zen of him that it almost didn't sound like him, yet, still it did. "Ready to try it yourself?"

"As I'll ever be."

"Ok just take a few swings at the pitches, get the hang of it a little more, and then go with it. Let your feelings go."

"What do I say?"

"Anything that's on your mind."

She could do that. She took her swings and a few bats in, started speaking her mind. "I miss my dad. I worry that I let him down, that I let everyone down." She started quietly. "I'm worried about how the team will react to our relationship." Hit. "I'm worried that Charlie will be hurt if we mess this up." Hit. "And…" She faltered, looking to him and paying no mind to the environment. "And I'm worried I'm not enough for you." Pitch. Hit. "Oomph."

"Are you ok?" He ran over to her. Not paying attention to the pitch machine, a ball was chucked right at her ribs, knocking the wind right out of her.

"Holy crap. Why do they make these balls so hard? Aren't they called soft balls or something?" She was keeled over and, after attempting to hold her up, decided to get her on the ground, sitting on the dirt and against the metal mesh fence.

"You're confusing your sports." He laughed, but she didn't find it amusing. "Let me see." His hand went to the edge of her shirt, ready to pull it up, but she stopped him, pulling the material back down.

"No."

"Come on. Please."

"Not happening buddy."

"Emily…"

"Don't Emily me. This is your fault you know…"

"It's my fault you weren't watching the pitch? I was behind the fence."

"Exactly! You were behind the fence where I was looking."

"But you were looking there!"

"You're just distracting."

"Ok, fine, can I please see so I can make sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine."

"Humor me."

"I'll let you see if we can be done here. It helped and I really appreciate this, but baseball is not my thing."

"Deal. We'll go to dinner or anywhere you want."

"Ok." She agreed and allowed him to move the material out of the way.

His fingers ran delicately over her ribs. "It's red and will probably bruise. But you should be ok."

"Good. So, can we get up now?"

"Yes." He stood and held a hand out for her. "We can."

Wiping the dirt off their clothes, Emily asked, "Where should we go?"

"Trust me to surprise you again?"

"I'm cautiously willing to try again."

"Great, then let's get out of here."

They collected what little they had with them before, with his arm wrapped around her shoulder, he brought her to the cars. He was thrilled that she wasn't completely hiding within herself, that she said more, willingly, than she normally had in years of knowing each other. They had so much to talk about though. Feelings… He was happy she wasn't trying to run too. She was willing to let him try something else. She wasn't trying to be alone. That was new for her.

Emily had to admit, she was nervous. She said things to him, opened up, in ways she didn't plan. Most of the time, she kept her demons to herself. Her worries were her own and seldom passed her lips, the deeper ones anyway. And she never planned on mentioning her abortion – to him – ever… But she did. And she appreciated that he didn't press it right away. But it would come. It always did. But, like she only did with a handful of people, the people who have become her family, she felt safe with him, like she wanted to talk with him. Though, not necessarily about that…

"I love this place." Emily told him after they parked.

"I know." He did know. He knew her. He knew that she needed some escape time to gather thoughts in her head and really just focus on something else. So, he wanted to give her that and took her to this old revival theatre where they played some black and white movies and foreign films. The sad French film would engage her mind and give her the opportunity to cry without the need to hold back. Sure, it meant subtitles for him, but that didn't bother him in the least if it helped her even a little.

"I haven't been here in… a while."

"Well then," he held his hand out, palm up. "Shall we."

Placing her hand in his palm, she agreed, "We shall."

The movie worked just as he had hoped. Not ten minutes in and she was leaning into him, trying to hold back her tears, sniffling. He just held onto her, rubbing soothing patterns on her back, and really just let her know it was ok, ok to let go, to feel… And she did. By the end of the movie, she was cried out, a pile of tissues now taken residence in her pocket.

"Ready for some food?" He asked her afterward. He didn't want to bring up the tears knowing it would make her uncomfortable. So, instead, he forged ahead. He was determined to make her have fun, to turn a day of grieving into one of celebration. Her father was gone and she pretended he was just on extended leave for too many years. She needed to let go of it all and just let the wound finally begin to heal.

"I don't know… I had 6 cupcakes not that long ago."

"Ok… were definitely going for food. Something with nutritional value."

"I can agree to that."

"Good. I'll drive. We're not that far from your house now. We can pick up your car later."

"Ok… Are you going to tell me how you knew I liked this place?"

"Because Emily… I know you."

She squeezed his arm. "I'm starting to understand that."

When they got to dinner. They did some real talking. It was necessary and therapeutic. Emily needed to let it out. He got her talking about her worries and fears and really confronting her father's death. For so long, she just pretended he would come back, that he wouldn't miss all the moments. But every time a moment came, she was reminded how wrong she was. The truth was, her father was gone. She knew that. He wasn't coming back and that last memory of him and the fault she felt, it couldn't be erased. Her time in Italy changed her and that change got her father killed. A book she held onto… It was silly really, but that book reminded her of good times being read to as a kid and feeling the love that was in those characters that she just didn't feel in the real world too… She needed that book… But she would have preferred to have her father. In the end, she had neither…

But it wasn't her fault. It was an act of the universe, of god maybe or some otherworldly power. Perhaps it was just some random thing. But her father was taken from her, by some will not her own. She accepted that. And, though it would always feel a bit like her fault, it was time to let that guilt and pain go. The vice around her needed to be broken. It was time to grow and form a new foundation that included everyone in her life at all times, not just when things became way too much, but always. There were cracks in the foundation she had now. Her home was unsteady because she never accepted they existed, never took the time to work on repairing them, but she was given the opportunity to start again. She was given a fresh start by all who loved her and she wasn't passing it up. Together, they'd build a sturdy foundation that could withstand any attack that came their way. And maybe, maybe that would mean these relationships would last… forever. Which was exactly what she wanted.

Decades of unfelt grief was relieved. She finally let herself feel and mourn. And it wasn't just a one day thing. They both knew it would take some time to truly let it settle, but hopefully, this day would close some of the wound. But, her father was only one part of it. Sure, the day was about him. The emotions were brought out because of him and her lack of distraction, but there were layers of layers of emotion not yet dealt with.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"About my dad? Haven't we been doing that?"

"No… I meant the other thing…"

"Other thing?"

"The uh… you said before he died you uh… You had a…"

"You can say it." Him not saying it made her feel worse about it. It wasn't an easy topic, but like many things, it was a reality of life. It happened. And Aaron not being able to say the word brought the shame out. Not talking about the hard things, the darker facets of life didn't make them any less real or any less taboo.

"Do you want to talk about the abortion?"

"Not really… but maybe we should." Because if he was going to judge her or not be able to accept her past, then she needed to know then before she became too attached… It may have already been too late to avoid the hurt of that…

"I won't judge you… I don't want you to feel like I would. It's not something I'd want for you or ever suggest to do… But I would never judge you…" He promised her with all sincerity.

"Save that promise until you know you can keep it."

"Emily, I can promise you now, there isn't much you can say that would make me feel any different about you."

"But there is something?"

"Well, I don't know how I'd feel if you ever cheated on me. Not that I think you would… but I don't know how I'd feel about that."

"Ok…"

"But there's nothing you can't say to me. Solid foundation, remember?"

"Alright… just try not to judge."

"I promise."

"I was… We were living in Italy. I was just 15 years old…" And she told him. Not one ounce of anything but compassion and understanding crossed his manly features. He loved her and wouldn't dream of judging her for choices she made as a child. That's what she was, a child. She was a scared and desperate child who made some big life choices she wasn't proud of. She didn't deserve to be condemned for that. Not even in her own mind.

"What did the boy do when you told him you were pregnant?"

"John?" She laughed. "He… ran. He couldn't handle it at all."

"John… Cooley? From the case?"

"One in the same…" No wonder she was so invested… Those men were a big part of her past.

He made mental note to punch the guy in the face if they ever met again. "It wasn't fair of him to leave you to handle it alone."

"I had Matthew… He did his best…"

"Did you ever talk to anyone about this?"

"Not until I had to…" he looked confused. "Rossi confronted me about it."

"I'm glad you had him to talk to. I wish you thought you had me too."

She did that hair thing she did, one of her tells… She was nervous still. "It's not something I talk about… It's not something I like to voice."

"Emily," He took both her hands in his and held them tightly. "Don't be ashamed by your past… Not with me…" He tossed her a warming half smile. "Thank you for telling me, for trusting me. I want you to know that I will always be here to listen without judging you, just like you would do and have done for me. That being said… I'm really sorry you had to deal with that. You were just a kid… Even as an adult that would be very hard and I will do my best to make sure you never feel that alone and scared again. Because I love you and I want you to be happy…"

"I love you too. Thank you… for being here, for not judging me… for just everything you've done for me. Not just today…"

"You're welcome. Now eat. You've barely touched your food."

"Yes dad." She teased.

The rest of the meal was quiet and cozy, but it felt like a million words were said in the best way possible. He took care of her that day, not for the first time, and there would be many more like that just like there would be many where she would return the favor. The point was, it was what they wanted. They wanted to be each other's rocks, their friend, their partner, their everything, and they were well on their way to just that.

When all was said and done, despite the nature of the day and the pain behind it, she had a good time. They both did. He succeeded in doing exactly what he planned. He made her deal with the emotional turmoil, maybe even more than he thought she had, and still showed her a good time. "The batting cages worked for ma because baseball was something I shared with my dad. It was where we he was his proudest and where he was his harshest with me. So it worked for me to work out my issues concerning him there. Of course you're different. You'll find your own thing. But, I hope, now you can have more good memories of this day and remember those when you think of him too."

"I do." And she thanked him for that. The grief was still there, but it wasn't trapped within her. She knew better now than to go it alone. "Is this our first date?" She asked him when they got out of the cars at her home.

"No." He told her. "No, our first date will not include tears or cemeteries. This, this is just me being your friend and taking care of you the way you'd take care of anyone else."

"Can I kiss the caretaker?"

"He'd like that very much." He obliged, more than willingly.

"Are you sure this wasn't a date? Because it could count."

"You won't have to ask if it's a date when it's a date. You'll definitely know."

"Alright." She leaned against her car. "I love you Aaron. Thank you for being here for me."

"You say when, and I'll always be right by your side when you need me. I love you too Emily."

"I know you do." Her head lowered as if shying away. "And I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"You've been trying not to say it all night. Probably because I spent half of it crying on your shoulder… I know I should have – so I'm sorry for not telling you or coming to you when I knew I needed someone."

"It's ok." He lied.

"No, don't say that. You don't really mean that. Be honest. I know it's not ok."

"No, it's not…" He took her hand. "I understand it was a hard day, that you were finally doing the grieving you've put off the last 20 years, but you didn't show up for work. You just left a message that only made me more worried. No one knew where you were. You had us all scared. As your boss that was bad, but as your boyfriend… it was worse. All of our minds went to worst case scenario. The team thought you took the job in London. They were panicking. We all were. So, no, it's not ok."

"I know." She bowed in shame.

"It's not ok, but we forgive you. I do. But… In order for this to work, it has to be symbiotic. We have to be open with each other and feel safe enough to go to one another."

"And I do. I know I can go to all of you… But… No matter how much I love you, my first instinct will always be to deal with my emotions privately. That's all I've ever known. I'm working on it. I really am. And I promise to do my best and try to lean on you or the team or not keep things like this, like the hard days from you, as long as you promise to do the same and you promise to tell me when I seem to be hiding from it."

"I promise."

"Sometimes I won't realize I'm doing it and you'll get angry."

"And I'll still be by your side. We all get angry at times."

"You're sure you still want to do this? A relationship with me? I'm a mess; an emotionally crippled mess with no idea how this works."

"I'm positive this is exactly what I want. I'm a mess in my own way, a little emotionally crippled myself. I have the relationship experience. You have the life experience. We balance each other out. It's perfect. It works."

"Ok." Emily smiled. "Then we can tell her. We can tell Charlie about us."

"Really?"

"Yes, let's tell her and Jack too. When we have them together, we can tell them both at the same time and then we can make it official with the team."

"Ok." He was excited. He knew that meant she was ready for them to truly be together, no keeping it from anyone. Open, out, and so incredibly proud.

"But I just have to do one thing first."

"What's that?" He asked both worried and curious.

"I'll tell you, but I have to do it first or you might talk me out of it." He didn't like the sound of that… But maybe he was worrying for nothing… "You going to come in or what?"

"Absolutely…" The worrying would wait.

**School folks… Not excited to call the summer days over just yet. I sympathize with all my fellow students out there. Let's all just remember all the hard work and long days are just small insignificant moments that will bring us closer to where we want to be. **

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**

**sourgummycandy**** Thanks so much. They've come such a long way in this story. Hotch and Emily will always find their way when I write. Thay are more than like a family, they are one and now it's just about solidifying that. I don't think I'll ever lose inspiration, but if I do, it just means there's a new story to be told. My birthday was nice, thanks. Simple, but that's the way I like it. **

**123a456e**** Thank you. Enjoy. **

**D**** Oh no Whatever will you do? An update perhaps, ok. **

**inheritancedrottningu**** chaA lot closer to the end just means much closer to the next beginning (which, if all pans out, promises to be an adventurous and fun ride, drama filled of course). I think I'm just going to go with my gut and stick with the sequel ending, so there's some closure but it's not all wrapped up in a nice little bow. But, thank you for the suggestion. I will still consider doing that. **

**Maxi**** Aw, thanks. There's more! There's more. No fear. **

**rmpcmfan**** Glad you enjoyed it. I'd like to take that trip to Paris. My version of Hotch could show up and make me swoon too. Lol I love the character bonding. It's important to the story and it gives them purpose. Good to know you like it too. And the family scenes are always so much fun to write so I try to sneak them in whenever they fit. You wouldn't believe how many met the delete button simply because they had no place to go. **

**Guest**** An awesome compliment. Thank you so much. **

**Hyacinth Blue**** All these reviews are so good for my ego. A sequel is looking very likely, so I'm happy to hear you want to stick around for the ride. I do promise to do my best to make it a worthy one. Charlie cuteness is always a bonus. Thanks for the birthday wish. **

**SouthunLady**** Call it reader intuition. Sometimes, you just get a feeling. Great minds my friend, certainly do flow on the same wavelength. Thanks so much for always sticking by this story and supporting both it and me. Much appreciated. And I'm so glad the realism shines through and it feels real. That is, perhaps, one of the best things that can be said because it means I'm doing something right.**

**Guest**** You shall find out. I hinted at it a little. Glad you like the story. Hope you like this update. **

**Guest**** Emily and mommy bonding is a big step. People seem to enjoy those moments and so do I. Glad you liked the chapter. **

**Jahariskipper**** Thanks! The wait does suck and for that I apologize. Honestly, if I could do nothing else but write all day every day, don't doubt for a second I would. Happy you find the waits worth it though. It means a lot. **

**blackstarsing**** A little too much sugar in that chapter huh? Well, it seemed deserved after all I put the characters through. I loved the Prentiss women scene. I even laughed while writing the sex talk. I just imagined my mom saying something like that… **


	42. Date Night

_I do not own Criminal Minds, only the characters I have created in that world._

**Chapter 42: Date Night**

Praying no cases would come their way, Hotch had their date and the weekend all planned out. Friday night, with no case, meant a perfect date night. It'd be just the two of them with a nice evening of food, fun, and a romantic ambiance. He knew how to woo and he wanted to pull out all the stops for her. Nothing was too much or out of the question. Hell, if he could hijack the company jet or afford the last minute plane tickets, he'd sweep her off her feet to a special candlelit dinner on Italian coast, just them under the Italian sky. But, America would have to suffice; it could be done on home soil too.

"JJ?" Aaron stopped her Friday morning. So far, they were lucky when it came to cases. There was nothing more than a quick one day trip to Maryland to help with a kidnapping. They found the boy alive the same day they arrived and were headed home that night. Other than that, they had been pretty office bound.

"Yeah Hotch?"

Seeing the folder in her hand, he had to question it. "Please don't tell me that's a case for us."

"No, just some paperwork Strauss wants done."

"Ok, good… So, Emily… Is she more of a rose girl or lilies? I know roses are more romantic, but I know she likes lilies too. I should go with the roses right? Red ones?"

"Oh, my, god. You're nervous."

"What?"

"You are so nervous." She badly wanted to tease him. But his cheeks flushed and she tied to keep the playful comments to herself.

"I am not… I just want the night to be…"

"Perfect?"

"Exactly."

"You already have her Hotch. And, for a woman who lived such a – an- such an extraordinary life, she's actually pretty simple. Give her an everyday perfect and she'll be thrilled."

"What does that mean? What's an everyday perfect?"

"It means, she doesn't need that big gesture, though it did work out for you the first time." She winked. It was so fun to watch Hotch get uncomfortable. "Just give her normal. Give her the bouquet of flowers, a mix with a few red roses and lilies, cook her a nice dinner or take her to one of those cozy dark lit places with really good authentic food. You know she's a stickler for authentic."

"She really is, and a wine connoisseur."

"You don't mess with her wines." She joked, though it was serious. A Prentiss knew and loved her wines. "Why don't you tell me what you have planned? She's running late, by her standards, so she won't be in early."

"Alright. So I was thinking of starting out…" He divulged all the details until JJ was wishing she was the one going on the date.

"Want to give some pointers to Will? I'd owe you one."

"So you think she'll like that?"

"She'll love it. Are you kidding? It's great. It's perfect for her. I never pegged you for this guy, but, for Emily, I'm glad you are."

"She's important to me."

"She's pretty important to all of us. She's great."

"I know she is. She makes me happy."

"I know. You both deserve to be this happy. I'm glad you finally got your shit together." She did realize she was still talking to her boss, right?

"Alright… Thanks, I guess?"

"I'm sorry. That was inappropriate for work, huh?" Oops, oh well.

"It's fine JJ. I have to get to my office. Let me know if a case comes up. I'll see you at the round table for the briefing. And thanks for your input."

Hotch disappeared behind closed doors as Rossi snuck up behind her. "They've been different this week."

"I know."

"They're together aren't they?"

"You'd have to ask them." She answered diplomatically.

"Don't use that press bologna on me. He went after her. I know that much. Garcia flagged his passport."

"They'll kill her if they find that out."

"I'm not telling. Are you?"

"Not a chance."

"Good. He's being tightlipped. Hasn't said anything about it beyond that he convinced her to stay with the team. No how or details, but we both know there's more."

"We do…"

"And he was there for her Monday."

"He was… He came to me for dating advice."

"What? He went to you and not me?"

"Yeah Lothario. If he wants to know how to rope them in and hit release, you're the perfect person to go to."

"Ouch. I'm hurt. I'm legitimately hurt."

"Relax Rossi. I'm his Emily guru. He wanted to know which flowers she'd like best."

"He's going traditional. Good. She deserves that elegant simplicity."

"I want this to work for them."

"We all do. And we did all we could to help. Well Sensei, I think the students have become the masters. Time to let our little birds fly."

"You realize birds and sensei… two different metaphors right?"

"Just go with it." He winked at her.

"Ok." She winked back.

"When do you think they're going to tell everyone?"

"Soon probably. I'm sure even Reid picked up on something by now. They're just waiting to actually go on a date and tell the kids."

"Telling the kids already? That's serious."

"I know. But, let's be honest, this should've happened years ago. If he and Haley didn't hang on for Jack and if he learned about Charlie sooner… I think they'd be married with a houseful of kids by now."

"I give it a year before they're down the aisle."

"You think so?"

"I do." Garcia interrupted startling both of them. "G-Man and Gumdrop sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g. First comes love, then comes marriage. Then comes the baby in the baby carriage… Wait, that's not right…" She mulled it over. "First comes love, then comes Charlie, then comes a ton of BAU babies in their baby carriage." She paused again. "I still don't think that's right."

"We get the idea Pen."

"Aren't you excited? Love is in the air. They're so adorable together. They try so hard not to show it at work, but the other day, I was going to my car and I saw them… Oh, let me tell you… He walked her to her car, opened the door, and even gave her a kiss on the cheek all cute and stuff. It was like the dictionary definition of a gentleman's guide to dating. They're so smitten." She was seconds away from doing a happy dance.

"Have you been dipping into the wine Emily gave you before work?"

"What? No… It's good though. She has good taste… In wine… and men. I mean, have you seen the boss man's butt. That training sure made him nice and firm. I just want to grab that…"

A quiet witness to the conversation chose that moment to jump in. "It's definitely grab worthy."

"Ah!" Garcia squealed. "Emily! We weren't talking about anything. Nope, nothing at all."

"Right. I'm sure it was all PG, right PG?"

"Absolutely."

"No talk of butts or kissing then."

"None what so ever."

"Of course."

"I'm going to skedaddle now. Bye Jayje. Rossi. Em…"

Garcia, with an uncharacteristic pin hue on her face, nearly ran from the room. "What's her problem?"

"Maybe she's just not used to you being so…"

"So… what?"

"Openly happy."

"Nice save Rossi. I am happy. I have a lot to be happy about. You both know that. I know Aaron talks to you and I talk to JJ. You've been little puppet masters this whole time. We're ok with that. We're happy you're in our corner. Of everyone, I'm most worried about how Reid and Morgan will take it."

"Why?"

"Well, Derek and I, we've made up, but things aren't back to normal between us. It wasn't like he reacted really well to Charlie being our daughter, and he made it pretty clear he wasn't on board the same train when it came to him…"

"And Reid?"

"Reid posed some very Reid like questions that were very valid and had no easy answer."

"So it's messy?"

"It's messy."

"It's ok kid. They'll accept it… Once you tell them there's something to accept. Just promise you won't high tail it to London if things go south."

"You think things are going to go south?" She asked with worry. If no one had faith in them, what would that do to their team?

"Way to go Rossi."

"We both," he motioned to him and JJ, "Believe you're the long haul, but I think everyone's a little worried about how the dynamics will change."

"Why do they have to?"

"Oh honey, they have to. That's nature."

"I guess… I have to think about that… For now, I just want to enjoy this chapter."

"Fair enough. I'll be in my office. See you both at the briefing."

"Is it that obvious?" Emily asked when it was only the two of them. "Hotch and I? Are we obvious?"

"Not to anyone but us."

"I don't want Strauss to find out… Not until we absolutely need to tell her and there's time for that."

"Emily… Stop worrying so much. Just enjoy your date with him. It's all you've been talking about this week. You can worry about telling the team, 'officially'" she added with air quotes. "Later."

"Alright."

"Hey, I thought you were running late."

"I was."

"You're still early."

"I'm late if you beat me here." She nudged the blonde.

"Nice."

I see a bunch of files on my desk. What should I do first? Case files or go make Garcia feel embarrassed about wanting to feel up our boss?"

"Oh, definitely the second… Or you can wait until lunch and I'll help with that."

"Files it is then." Emily went off to her desk as did JJ and both went to work on their case load.

Since she returned, things with the team seemed as normal as they could given the circumstances. Mostly, things were just a bit strained between her and Derek, but they both tried to make the effort, especially her. On Tuesday, things between the two were like old times, before all her baggage exploded all over them. They tried, but their friendship was never quite the same. And, after their past confrontation, Emily just felt bad; not bad about him, but about what he said, how he felt about her, and the state of their relationship. It felt as if it was deteriorating again. She didn't want that. So, she just hoped that when they broke the news about dating, that he would be ok with it. Hoping he'd be supportive felt like a bit of a stretch.

Honestly, she didn't know how to approach the topic with him either. Monday was a hard day for her. When she got home that night, she had messages from everyone and strict instructions to call the blondes and that she better show up the next day. Morgan was concerned too. That showed when they saw each other.

"Prentiss."

"Hi Morgan."

"Hey. Glad to see you back. How are you doing?"

"I'm good, thanks. How are you?"

"No, I mean how are you doing? I heard yesterday was a hard day for you. I know any day that reminds me of my dad can be hard for me. So, how are you? Really…"

"I'm ok. It's still not an easy day. I don't miss him any less, but I'm ok."

"You know I'm here for you right?"

"I know." She thinks… Maybe.

"Don't leave, ok? I know you came back, but… Just don't leave." For a while, he wasn't going to lie to himself, he thought it might be best if she left the team. It would give them a fresh start without the turmoil, but she was Emily. They needed her just as much as she needed them, and he couldn't dream of the team without her again. A few weeks with her in the hospital was enough to make him realize it wasn't just the person he'd miss if she were gone, but an important chunk of the team too. "Whatever happened… It's done. And we want you here. This team wants you here. I want you here. And I'm sorry… For what I said. I was upset, surprised really, and I took it out on you. So, I'm sorry."

It was a good moment for them. It pulled them closer, helped them forgive and let go of whatever it was, but Emily wondered how long it would last. He didn't have much choice in accepting Charlie's parentage, it was a matter of fact with no changing it, but he did when it came to Emily's relationship. She wanted him to be on their side, rooting them on, but she wasn't sure he would. She was almost sure he'd be against it. And that would ruin the incredibly good tingly feeling she had going on inside her. She was, though almost afraid to say it too much in fear it would be taken away, happy. Her life was in a decent place. She was enjoying being attached to a good man who wasn't afraid to make the big declarations of love and who understood her work. Her kid was healthy. She just got back from a European vacation with friends and family. Things were looking up, but that was usually when something tended to go wrong.

They made up, Emily was willing to let it go and he seemed genuine. Hotch talked with him before and they were ok. Everyone was ok. It was, probably, one of the few rare moments were things were almost content with everyone. Sure, Monday's grief had them all a little rattled, but they knew she was staying. They understood what she was going through. So, they were ok. And she was terrified to ruin that. Their team had so many ups and downs. She didn't want her relationship to be a down for them. It wasn't for her. It was her up. She was happy about it, beyond happy; thrilled.

So the rest, she figured, could be left for tomorrow's worry. Friday was about them. It was about finally getting that first date and getting ready to tell the kids. That was all they wanted to focus on; being happy and cementing their family. Their relationship wasn't going in reverse. They started as, well, acquaintances meeting in passing while he worked for her mother, years went by and then fate threw them together again, then came the kid, then the work, then the friendship, and now, finally, the relationship. They weren't exactly traditional in that sense of the word, but it wouldn't be right any other way.

"You seem nervous." JJ caught her at the end of the day as she sat hunched over her last file, mind full of thoughts, and biting at her nails. Stupid habit.

"What? Who? Me? Nope."

"You are. Aww, it's adorable really."

"It's not. And stop smiling. It's not cute and it's not funny."

"But it is. I've seen you nervous, but never when it came to dating."

"It's…. It's just…"

"Different? Real? Right?"

"All of the above…"

"You've been waiting a long time for this. Don't be afraid of it now that you finally have it."

"I'm not afraid of it. I'm afraid it won't be all that I picture it to be, or, worse, it'll be better and it won't last."

"Ah ha. So you are afraid!"

"Nice Jayje. Nice."

Seeing her friend really was nervous, about the date and the possible fallout for the team, JJ wanted to offer her some support. Wrapping an arm around the brunette's shoulders, JJ said, "Oh Em, you'll be fine. Better than fine really. Let yourself have this. Everything else will fall into place."

"Can you promise me that?"

"There are no promises about that, but I promise that I will support you whatever happens. So will Rossi. And, if our lunch with Garcia proved anything, it's that she's rooting for you too." They spent the afternoon teasing the other blonde. Emily never confirmed anything, nothing more than that she'd still take Charlie for the night. Why? She was asked, responding she was going out. The who part was left out. It wasn't explicit, but Garcia assumed it was implied. Emily had plans to tell everyone officially. Until then, Garcia was jut going to have her fun.

"And Reid and Morgan?"

"Reid will be Reid and worry about the possible consequences, but he'll want you to be happy… As for Morgan, well, he'll support you too, but it might take some time. If he causes problems, we'll stick Garcia on him. That'll tame him."

"You're so sure this will all work."

"I am. Why are you so sure it won't?"

"JJ… The only thing I want is for it all to work out, but things rarely ever do."

"Alright, I'm going to let that one slide because I know, with your dad's birthday and the jetlag, and all of that, it has been a hard week. But that thinking is ridiculous. Stop living in your head and just live it. If Will ever flew half way across the world to sweep me of my feet and have a romantic love fest, I'd dive into that head first. You're just dipping your toes in the water."

"I want to jump into the deep end, but…"

"Don't finish that. No buts. Do it."

"Sir, yes sir." Emily joked, saluting the blonde.

"Just, go home, get all dolled up, and have a great time tonight. And tomorrow, I expect a call to hear all about it. In fact, so does Garcia. We can get together and gossip. Girls' lunch."

"And if he's still there?" Emily grinned.

"There she is. That's the spirit. If he's still there, we can talk when he leaves." She got up from Emily's desk. "But now, I'm heading home to my boys. Thanks to you, Will is being all romantic and we're having a little date of our own."

"Oh la la."

"Very oh la la. Henry's with my parents for the weekend so it's just the two of us."

"So, you're going to eat your words and try not to think too much, just dive right in?"

"I'm going to try."

"Well, so am I. Go. Have a good weekend Jayje."

"You too Em. Want me to wait and we can walk out together? Everyone else already left."

"Everyone but…" She tipped her head toward the offices.

"Riiight. Bye Em."

"Bye."

The blonde was the last of their group to go aside from the remaining two. She saw Rossi leave after speaking with Hotch over a half an hour before and Garcia took off with Reid for an afternoon out doing who knows what before she took Charlie for the night. Morgan said he needed to go get ready for a night out picking up the ladies. She didn't want to ask more about that. It was better not to get in to what that meant exactly. His technique needed to stay a mystery.

She stayed at her desk a few more minutes to gather what she might need over the weekend. Though hoping it would be a fun filled family weekend, she wanted to bring home some work anyway. And as she was doing that, Hotch finally came out of his office all packed and ready to go.

Stopping at her desk, he leaned over and quietly asked, "I'll pick you up at 7?"

"I'll be ready. Any dress code?"

"Whatever you wear, it will be amazing."

"Sweet talker."

"See you tonight."

"Tonight."

He thought about leaning in just a little more for a kiss. She thought about it too. But they both decided against it. In the private area of the parking lot where they were unlikely to be seen was one thing. In the open area of the bull pen was another. If they truly wanted to keep their two personas, professionals and couple, separate, they couldn't risk a little peck to be their downfall. They didn't care if the team saw, but Strauss could mean their end. She was always looking for some good dirt to dredge up against them. Emily was positive Strauss never fully forgave her for not betraying her team on her request.

Strauss would have to deal. Everyone would. They were in it and that was all that mattered. And she was excited to reinforce it further with their date. Before anything else though, she had something she needed to do. So, bag in hand, she left Quantico. In her car, she pulled out of her garage and drove in a direction opposite her home. There was a stop to make, one that made her a little more than nervous.

But it was freeing. As hard as it was to talk with this person, she wanted the air to be clear and her conscious absolved. They weren't doing anything wrong, so she didn't want to feel like they were. So it was something she needed to do as soon as possible. Right then. It wasn't a very long drive, but long enough to get the thoughts going and rev up those nerves. Was it a mistake to do it? Would whatever was said change her mind? Moreover, would whatever was said effect the way she wanted things to go?

It was too late for second guessing though, she had arrived at her destination… On with the show… But boy if she didn't think about running in the opposite direction. Do it, just do it… It played like a mantra in her head. It wasn't really a big deal, and she realized that once it was over, but, in the moment it felt like it was her against the world. Mostly because, if it went south, it could sour her relationship and threaten the world she created: the same world that she had been waiting to be greeted in forever.

About an hour later, longer than she thought it'd be, once it was over, all she felt was relieved. She was thrilled it was over and done with, behind her once and for all. But she also had a sense of freedom about her. Her stride was lightened and she walked into her home with that levity.

"Mommy's home!" Charlie ran to her, giving her customary warm welcome.

"Yes she is." Emily spoke as she picked up her girl. "How's my little Charlie Bear?"

"Sarah and I made cookies."

"Really? What kind?"

"Sugar cookies. With frosting and sprinkles!"

"Frosting and sprinkles? Well, someone's living on the wild side huh?"

"You want to try one? They're so delicious. I've had three already."

"Three?" Her eyes widened.

"Three bites." The child coyly tried to cover.

"Nice try. No more sweets. Go say goodbye to Sarah and wash the frosting off your face."

Nearing 6:30 already, Emily didn't have much time to get ready. And, of course, the one time she would've liked to and should have planned her outfit ahead, she did not. She set Charlie up with a toy that would occupy her long enough for her to take a quick shower, and then searched for any viable date options. Fifteen minutes to go, Charlie playing dress up in the closet, hair and makeup done, she still wasn't dressed. Phone to her ear, she waited for an answer. "Hey, I thought you were…"

"I have nothing to wear." She cut her friend off. "I'm sitting in my closet with nice hair and face all done up, wearing a towel."

"That's certainly a fashion statement. One he may enjoy…"

"Jayje! What am I going to do? I have like 10 minutes before he's here and I have nothing to wear! Not one single thing." Her nerves were getting the best of her. JJ found it pretty fantastic and entertaining. Emily, not so much.

"Em, stop being so dramatic. I've seen your closet. You have plenty to choose from."

"Nothing appropriate."

"Try again."

"There's too much to choose from. I don't know which to wear."

"That's more like it." She teased. Her closet was a girl's dream, an outfit for any occasion. "Stop being so nervous. It's… Hotch."

"I know…" That was why she was so nervous. There were so many obstacles and this… this relationship was the one she wanted to work. It had to stick. "It's just Aaron."

"Aaron oh la, la."

"Jayje…" It wasn't time to be mimicked.

"Ok, I'll stop. But only if you share a little. Where's he taking you?"

"No clue."

"Hmm, well, that makes wardrobe a little tricky, but we'll figure it out." Knowing the other woman's closet almost as well as her own, borrowing a thing or two in the past, JJ offered up some possibilities.

It took a few tries, but they were finally coming up with something workable. "What about that black skirt I wore to the last girls' night out?"

"Oh, yeah, that was gorgeous on you. Wear it with that red shirt with the lacey half sleeves."

"Yeah? You don't think it's too… All business and no play?"

"No way. You'll look amazing and then you're neither under nor overdressed. It's perfect."

"Ok, thanks for your help with that. Crap." She hissed as she looked at the clock. "I have like ten minutes to get dressed and get Charlie ready." Covering the phone, she ordered Charlie to go get her bag. "I'm not sure I thought this through. I mean, I'm sending my daughter, who I already spend enough time away from, to my friend's house so I can go on a date… with her father…"

"Emily Prentiss, no one can ever say you don't live an interesting life. There's never a dull moment."

"Don't I know it." She sighed. She could hear the car pull up in her driveway. "And, of course, my date has to be as… punctual, as me and show up early."

"Let's hope that anal retentive gene isn't hereditary or at least skips a generation. I guess that's too much to hope for tough… Charlie definitely got a double dose of that."

"You do realize you're still talking to me right?"

"I'm teasing."

"I know. Listen, I better go. He's here and I'm not ready. Who knows what Charlie's up to?"

"Hey Em?" JJ stopped her before they hung up.

"What's up?"

"I forgot my phone on my desk and when I pulled in, you were driving the wrong way to get to your house. Where'd you go?"

"I had to… run an errand." The door bell sounded. "And I'll tell you all about it later ok?"

"But Em…"

"Sorry Jayje. No time."

"Fine. Have fun. You better call me."

"You have fun too. Bye."

Hanging up, she grabbed her shoes off the rack, the perfect pumps, and went to her door to check on her daughter. "Charlie, you ready?" She was rushing to the door.

"Almost Mommy." Not quite dressed yet, she quickly sent him a text. _Use your key._ It read. She upgraded his office emergency key to a "visit your daughter anytime, just please try to knock first," key… It was a working title and definitely wasn't used as freely as that. They weren't quite ready for the "my door is open anytime, here have some drawer space" stage of their relationship. Not yet, maybe soon…

"Please hurry up. Penelope's expecting you soon."

"I know! We're going to have so much fun without you!"

"Well… that's… nice." Should she have felt so shunned? Because she did. "Just hurry." She stated and went to put the finishing touches on her ensemble.

"I'm hurrying. Sheesh." She heard Charlie grumble.

"Hey… Wow." Hotch greeted her, standing at her bedroom door.

"Aaron." She turned and smiled at him. "Hi."

"You look… amazing." There were no other words. She looked perfect to him every day in anything, but there she was, dressed up just for him. It didn't get much better than that.

Flushed and nervous, she panicked. "Oh god, I'm overdressed huh?"

"No… No, you're perfect."

"Oh… Thanks. You look very dashing."

"Dashing? I think I like that."

Hotch moved into the room and stood behind her, their eyes locking through the boudoir mirror. Putting his hands on her shoulder, he told her, "I have something for you."

"You do?"

"Yeah… I was shopping with Jack and I knew I had to get it for you."

"Tell me more." She was enticed.

"Do you want it now or later?"

"Of course I want it now." She laughed. "But I might want to give you a nice thank you and now wouldn't be a good time for that. So, I'll be patient. Later is fine."

"Alright."

"But you can sneak in a kiss hello before I go drag our daughter out of her room. I swear she's purposely moving at a snail's pace."

"Someone's eager." They both were. "Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere. We have all the time in the world." He leaned in. "I will take that kiss though. I've been looking forward to this moment since I woke up this morning."

Lips grazing, not quite kissing yet, she moaned, "Mmm, me too." And with that, she didn't hold back in giving him a proper welcome. After all, he had been waiting all day…

A loud clunk at the door made them jump apart nervously, like two teenagers caught in the act by their parents. "Phew, that was heavy." She eyed her parents. They were looking funny. "Mommy! I'm ready. We need to go now!"

"Ok, ok. Geez. Are you going to at least say hi to your dad?"

Back to her sweet nature, she ran to Hotch and hugged his legs tightly. "Hi daddy! Why are you here?"

"Well," He lifted her into his arms. "I'm… helping mommy with something."

Her little nose scrunched up. "Is that why you're wearing mommy's lipstick?"

"What?" He quickly looked in the mirror and swiped at his face as Emily simply hid her blushing face and chortled.

"I don't think that's your color daddy." Emily laughed harder. She couldn't help herself as Hotch looked mortified, struggling to white the shade of red off of his face.

"This is not funny Emily."

"Yes it is. Daddy wanted a makeup lesson."

"I don't think he did very well. He missed."

"Yes he did."

"I can do your makeup!" She nearly fell from his arms as she reached for the bag.

"I don't think so missy." Emily swooped in and took her from him. "You have some place to be. And what's with all the stuff? You moving out on me?"

"No silly. That's toys for me and Penny to play with. I've never been there overnight. I don't know if she has enough toys."

"I bet she has plenty of toys." She was a big kid. "Pick one, leave the rest."

"But…"

"Now please."

"Fine." She dramatically went over to her bag and dragged it away, acting as if it weighed a thousand pounds.

"She's turning into such a little diva." Emily muttered as she moved back to Hotch. "Don't be so upset. It's not that bad." Grabbing a moist toilette, she began to wipe the remaining red from his skin. "So, going to tell me where you're taking me now?"

"Well, there will be dinner."

"Ok."

"Maybe some music."

"I can get behind that."

"And you will definitely have fun."

"Of that, I have no doubt." Playfully swatting his butt, she said, "Now, let's get her to Garcia's so we can have some us time."

"Give me five minutes with her."

After a brief moment of feigned annoyance, she smiled. "Go, go spend five minutes with your kid. I'm going to freshen up… or something." She loved that, even though they were both thrilled to finally have their adult time, he still wanted his Charlie time. He made time for her. That was something about him she was utterly in love with, and not the only facet of his being that caught her fancy either.

Carpooling, to their colleague's place had Garcia a little confused when they arrived. After her initial excited greeting and a big hug for both the Prentiss Garcia asked, "I saw you guys pull up. Whose car is that?"

"Oh… it's…"

"That's daddy's car!" Charlie offered the answer.

"You are going on a – an outing." She had a toothy grin. "With boss man!" She played it up. They were so obvious to her.

"Well…" Yeah…

"I see." She tried to contain it, but the cloned was seconds away from a full on fangirl moment, hand clapping, squeals, and all. "You should go then. Charlie say bye to mom so we can go overindulge in the good stuff."

"Good stuff?"

"My secret stash… You know? Candy, sweets, ice cream…"

"Don't overdo it."

"Party pooper." She stuck out her tongue and then gave the mother daughter duo a moment. "Now you get with the get and go have fun doing… whatever it is you'll be doing dressed all fanciful… or not so dressed." She smirked and winked at her friend.

"Garcia. Little ears." She nodded to her daughter.

"Who could forget? Little E and I are going to have so much fun tonight. Aren't we Juju B?"

"Uh huh."

"And it looks like mommy will be having some fun of her own. Less PG fun if you catch my mojo."

"Aliens on mars are catching your mojo Garcia." Nothing about her ever screamed subtle.

"Pish posh. Now, go be on your merry way and have some child free time while I play out my best childhood memories with your baby in there." That made her worry. "Nothing too extreme."

"Ok."

"Now shoo. And tell Hotch I said hello." She would've waved if she thought he could see her from her apartment on the third floor.

"She's crazy." Emily said to her beau when she returned to the car.

"You're crazy if you didn't know that already." He teased her, waiting for her to buckle her seat belt before taking off. He had a simple, yet romantic night planned just for the two of them.

"We're here"

"Where's here?" She asked as she looked around. She wasn't familiar with this place. "What is this place?"

"This is where I found you."

"What?"

"Do you remember how we first met?"

"Of course. You were working security for my mother. I came home from school."

"Right. But do you remember my first assignment watching you?"

"No?"

"Well, I do, but I'm not surprised you don't."

"Oh… Should I be worried? How bad was I?" She knew, while she took school seriously and did her absolute best to maintain the perfect grades and participate, she was no slouch when it came to typical college partying either… Sometimes she even partied alone, especially after a fight with her mother.

"Come with me and I'll tell you all about it."

"Ok." He took her hand and led her through the abandoned lot, passed the rundown building, to an old park site behind it. The garden was still lush and the grounds fairly well kept. What she noticed right away, though, wasn't any of that. Instead, it was the candlelit table straight from a scene in some romantic movie. Cliché as it was, Emily was impressed, her heart shuttering for him. "Wow, it looks amazing. Did you do this?"

"I had some help." Thank you JJ. "I picked up some favorites and thought we could share." He told her as he pulled the chair out for her.

"Sounds great. Thank you." Sitting, a glass of wine poured for her and dinner all set, she finally asked, "So, are you going to tell me that story now?"

"Right… You were home for that week and I was still pretty new to the job."

"I remember being home."

"Alright, I'm getting to the rest." He smiled. She really loved those dimples. "You know, the staff didn't even know you were home at first. You came in the night before without anyone even noticing."

"I paid people not to tell my mom I arrived." Not entirely untrue.

"Nice. Most of your time there, you kept to yourself. Except in passing, I didn't really see you. But that night, I did."

"That night? What do you mean?"

"I think it was one of your last days there. Your mother had a few people over."

"Oh, so she was being a witch with a B."

"And you looked miserable."

"No doubt I was."

_Nineteen year old Emily was as much a mess as any teenager; put together on the outside, an absolute disaster on the inside. And that day just seemed to be stockpiling the odds against her. Her mother, of course, was riding her last nerve. Every moment they spent together was anything but typical mother-daughter time. Elizabeth, not one to show her sensitive side, took the time to criticize rather than praise. _

"_Emily dear, you're not going to wear that tonight are you?"_

_Sighing, she did her best to push down the attitude and asked, "What's wrong with this?"_

"_It's yellow. Not only is that much too flashy a color for such a classy event, but you know that color washes you out."_

"_Fine, I'll wear the black one."_

"_We're not going to a funeral Emily."_

"_Ok." She huffed. "You pick it out then. I'll wear whatever, just pick and get out." So much for getting some quality mom time… _

"_I don't appreciate that tone Emily."_

"_I don't appreciate that tone Ambassador." She mimicked. _

"_Emily, act your age!" Her mother yelled. "I don't know what has gotten into you. You've been sour all week. I can't do anything right."_

"_You?! You can't do anything right?! Mom, seriously… I brought home some of your favorite macaroons from that exclusive French bakery in Georgetown just to please you. And do you know what you said? No, 'thank you' or any gratitude. You said, 'You really shouldn't have. It's not healthy to indulge as often as I'm sure you do… I wouldn't want you to put on any more of that college weight.' All you do is tell me what's wrong! I'm even letting you pick out my clothes… Just to make you happy! And you haven't shown an ounce of even caring that I'm here. God! I don't even know why I came. I turned down going to England! For this! So I can be treated like a naughty little kid in need of a time out!" She threw a pillow at the closet door, startling Elizabeth. _

"_I…"_

"_Nothing's ever good enough for you." Instead of letting her mother speak, she just started spouting off some of the many criticisms her mother threw her way. "Don't do that Emily. Sit up straight Emily. What are you wearing Emily? Don't eat that. Your grades really need to keep up Emily." She was losing it. "Do something with your hair Emily!"_

"_I've said no such things."_

"_Yes you did! And you don't even realize it." She sighed. "After hello, I don't remember one nice thing you've said to me. I don't think you've said anything remotely kind." _

"_I have too."_

"_No."_

"_Why are you being such a pain? I don't understand why you bother coming home if all you want to do is pick fights with me and tell me how horrible I am. What have I ever done to you to make you hate me so much?"_

"_Hate you? I've done nothing but try to make you happy!"_

"_You're not doing a very good job."_

"_Of course not… I hate you. You know that? I really do…" She shook her head. "I'm not sure why I bother either… You're right, I should just stop… Please get out."_

"_Emily…"_

"_Don't worry, I'll get dressed and make an appearance at your stupid event. I'll be the dutiful daughter. But get out."_

"_Emily." She tried again._

"_Out! Get out now!" Elizabeth reluctantly obliged unsure how else to appease the situation. She gave her daughter one last sad look before departing._

_Emily groaned. She and her mother fought all the time, but never to this extent. They bickered and argued constantly, but this was an escalation. Emily finally said something about what she had been feeling for such a long time. It felt good and horrible at the same time. She just wanted her mother to be proud of her, to acknowledge her in some positive way. And it seemed like that was way too much to ask for. Why? Why was it all so hard? First her boyfriend turned out to be a real bastard and then she came home to this version of her mother… She must've been a glutton for punishment. Furiously wiping at the tears, she tried to compose herself and ready for the night. But, it was hard, and then, seemingly out of nowhere, came the one good thing from this trip; the eye candy._

_She called out to him as he passed her room. "Hi Agent Hotchner." He stopped at her opened door, quick to take in the appearance of the young woman. _

"_Hi Emily." Those simple words alone sent her heart soaring. Why did he have to be so good looking? "You ok?"_

"_Fine. Thanks." _

"_Can I come in?"_

"_Sure." _

"_Here." He passed her a folded piece of cloth. "Looks like you could use this."_

"_Thanks." She blushed. She didn't mean for him to see her cry._

_Nodding, he then pointed to the dress hanging. "Is that what you're wearing tonight?"_

"_That was the plan, but no… I'm going to wear the blue one."_

"_Too bad. I'm sure you'd look great in any of them, but especially that yellow one."_

"_Thanks."_

"_No problem. I better get back to work. See you tonight."_

"_See you tonight." She watched him leave, paying close attention to his behind. Boy, did that man know how to work it._

"That wasn't a good day for me."

"I could tell."

_Much later in the night, Hotch was set to work the door, monitor the security and check to make sure the invitations were legitimate. But, something told him he was needed elsewhere and he traded the post to work the interior. As he finagled that, Emily was dealing with her own things. _

_She wore the blue dress, just like her mother wanted. As uncomfortable as it was, she wore it well and didn't let it show. Plastered on her face was a fake smile. The whole night was fake, everyone just putting on a show. She knew for a fact the Bradshaws were getting divorced and Ambassador Dellessio was a no good cheater, having hit on her the day she turned eighteen. Well, at least he waited that long…_

_Now she was stuck in a giant room with 30 other people who didn't really want to be there, just trying to look nice and keep quiet. The minute the night ended, she was packing her bag and heading out. That much she had figured out. She just had to maneuver through the obstacle that was her current situation. _

"_Ugh." She sighed. The air was thick with the stink of pompous ass. If these were the people her mother liked, she reasoned, it was no wonder why she seemed to have such disaffection for her daughter. She was nothing like those stuffy politicians. _

"_Emily!" Someone called for her._

"_Oh no…" Smile, she told herself. Fake it 'til you make it… "Hi Max."_

"_Hey. Your mom rope you into this too?"_

"_Unfortunately, I just happened to be back from school when this was happening."_

"_Man that sucks."_

"_Yup…" Max was, by no means, an ugly man. Now 21 years old, just two years older than her, he was no pain to look at, his sandy brown hair and hazel eyes, designer duds adorning his muscular body. But it was his personality that made him hideous. There were times growing up where she saw the good side of him, the one she almost dated and found endearing. But that had all been the act. The moment he was around friends or people outside the political circle, he was nothing but a bully. _

"_Hey, how's Georgetown?"_

"_It's great." She didn't want to say more, didn't want to mention she was leaving for Yale the next semester. She wasn't sure why she didn't go there in the first place. It wasn't like she didn't get in. But she couldn't let him know that was her plan. He'd tell mommy and then word would get to the Ambassador. _

"_I'm at Brown myself. Getting my law degree now."_

"_Congratulations." She told him and looked for any reason she could use to get out. _

"_Thanks… So, this is pretty boring… Want to give me a tour of the place?"_

"_It hasn't changed since the last tour I gave you."_

"_But you have." He smirked. "Come on, we can go walk around this place or be stuck here with a bunch of…"_

"_Fine. Let's go." He guided her out, sure to take some drinks from the open bar for them to indulge in._

"_Thought you could use this." He passed her the bottle of Jack he took as the settled into the private den. _

"_Yeah, thanks." She could use it. _

"_You look great Emily. Gorgeous, really."_

"_You clean up nice too."_

"_Got any glasses?"_

"_Not unless you want to trek back through there."_

"_I'll pass. Who needs cups anyway?"_

"_Not me." She told him, and to prove her point, she took a generous swig._

"_Save some for me." He took the bottle, taking a sip of his own. "That's the good stuff."_

"_Well, Mother doesn't do cheap."_

"_I'd expect nothing less of Elizabeth."_

_They spent the next hour or so just drinking and talking. Maybe she was just tipsy, but he was actually behaving like a human being. He was nice to her, listening to her, and even seemed genuine. It was so different than the Max Griswold she knew, though, she really was intoxicated and that was a factor. _

_Soft music played in the background as Emily finished off the bottle. "All gone." She spoke like talking to a baby. _

"_You didn't save me any?"_

"_Nope, sorry."_

"_It's alright. You'll just have to make it up to me." With a sly smile on his face, he took the seat next to her. "You really are beautiful Emily." He looked into her eyes and brushed the hair out of her face. _

"_Thanks." She blushed. _

_He pulled her to him, clearly nowhere as drunk as she was, and kissed her. "What are you doing?" She moved away._

"_Kissing you. I thought that was obvious."_

"_But… But why?"_

"_Em… You brought me here, to this private room away from everyone, drank with me, led me on, and the last time you did that… This wouldn't be the first time we kissed. You kind of asked for it."_

"_I didn't lead you anywhere Max."_

"_Come on Em. I know you've done more than this. It's just a kiss. I know you liked it. Stop fighting it. You don't have to act like such a good girl all the time."_

"_I'm not acting like anything."_

"_I see you dressed all hot and acting like you're shy, but you're just playing a game. Well, it worked. You caught me." He pushed her down and kissed her again, his hand down at the hem of her dress, attempting to move it upward. _

"_Get off of me." She jumped up and out from under him. _

_He grabbed her wrists tightly, squeezing until she stopped moving. "You need to stop."_

"_No, you need to stop. You're hurting me."_

"_I'm hurting you? Well boo-hoo. You thought you could just be a tease. But I don't think so. I'm not going to let you get away with that."_

_With hands she knew would already be bruised, she fought with all she had, eventually breaking free. Unfortunately, not far enough. Her hands escaped his, but she was still in grabbing distance, and when she went to go make her escape, he threw her against the wall. "Get up." He yelled at her. Pulling her up from the floor, he held her in place against the wall. It was in that moment, she kneed him and broke away, running straight out of the room. _

_Hotch had kept an eye on her all night. After catching her crying and hearing a story or two about the unbreakable and wild, young Miss Prentiss, he wasn't about to let anything happen. And he knew emotions were breeding grounds for problems. So, in between doing everything else, he tried to find out where she was and know she was ok. _

_But, the sky darkening, the night growing cold, he saw her scurry off, barely seeing more than the glint of shimmery blue material waft in the wind her uncoordinated running created. "Thompson, man my post."_

"_Where are you going?"_

"_Don't worry about it."_

_He hurried after her, but she had quite the lead. He ended up walking behind her a good few miles, unsure whether or not he should stop her. "Emily!" He finally called as he saw her heading into a dark park. Who knew what was lurking there? "Emily." When he caught up with her, there were tears on her face and bruises on her arms, a slight tear in her dress. "What happened?"_

"I found you here, we talked for a while, and then I brought you home."

"What did we talk about?"

"Everything. Nothing. You just told me a little about school, about heading to Yale, and your mom. I asked about what happened at the dinner, but you said you'd rather forget, that is was over. And that was it."

"I didn't go back home for over a year after that."

"Really?"

"I couldn't."

"I'm sorry."

"I needed space from her and from that world." Her serious face changed to a smile. "I had such the crush on you back then though."

"You did?"

"How could I not? Those dimples alone could ruin me. Add the older, hot, forbidden factor and I was sold."

"I was sold too, the rebellious daughter with a heart of gold."

"I think… I think I really like this place."

"I really like the girl I'm with at this place."

Effectively swooned, Emily and Hotch began their meal. "What the hell?" Emily wiped a water droplet from her face. It seemed, almost out of nowhere, the sky just opened up and rained on them. It was pouring. Their clothes were quickly being soaked. The candles were extinguished and what was left of their dinner ruined. "It wasn't supposed to rain."

"It's ok." She could tell he was upset. "Let's just get out of the rain. I look like I entered a wet T-shirt contest."

"Well, you would've won." Standing, he held out his hand, "Let's go."

Leaving everything behind, he led her to the car. In there, he offered her a towel or one of his shirts from his go bag. Taking the towel, she suggested they head back to her house. He was quiet the whole way, feeling as if he let her down. She did whatever small gestures she could to let him know it was alright.

In her house, both dried and changed, Emily clad in one of Hotch's spare button downs and a pair of boy shorts, they cozied on the couch. "I had the perfect night planed." He told her. "We were going to have an evening under the stars, just the two of us, a nice meal, and a good time."

"We can still have that."

"How?"

"Come on." She took him into the kitchen. "I made some cake with Charlie yesterday. We have whipped cream, and look," she pulled out a bottle. "Champagne." Handing it to him, she said, "Take this." Reaching for two forks and an umbrella, she moved toward the back door. "Ready?"

"I guess so…" Opening the umbrella and both gathering under it, she walked them to Charlie's jungle gym. It surprised him that she would want to do that, but it actually worked out. There was plenty of room in there for the two of them, a clear sky window up above that allowed them a nice view of the rain. They got their outdoor date without the rain impeding.

"I have to admit, it's kind of nice out here."

"I don't skimp when it comes to our kid."

"Never thought you would. Oh." He reached into his pocket. "I forgot to give this to you."

"What is it?"

"Open it." And she did, slipping the small bow off the rectangular velvet box.

"It's beautiful." She told him, staring at the charm bracelet.

"Yeah? I didn't want to add too many charms. This one here, is your birthstone. And that's Charlie's. There's a heart and a passport… There's a little piece of our story on there… And… And there's room to add… You know, more birthstones if you want more kids one day. More Charlies and Jacks… If we want them, there's room for them."

How was he so perfect for her? "Both on the bracelet and in our lives." She finished. "It's perfect Aaron. Put it on me please." She held out her hand and allowed him to clasp the bracelet.

For a while, they just laid there, staring up at the drying sky, nestled in each other's arms, Emily toying with the charms on her new jewelry. But the comfortable silence was broken. "I'm sorry this night turned into such a disaster."

"It wasn't." She was quick to say.

"What do you mean? Everything that could've went wrong did."

"No… I think it was perfect. So my heel broke, we got a little rained out and ended up here. But, here is perfect. Here feels right. I had a great time."

"It's our first real date. I just wanted tonight to be…"

"Aaron, let's face it. Nothing about our relationship will ever be perfect or normal in the traditional sense. And I like it like that. But, I can assure you, today was absolutely everything you wanted it to be and more." She smiled at him. "I'm with you Aaron. That was all we really needed to have a good time." She slipped her hand into his.

"I love you Em."

"I love you too Aaron." She kissed him. "Now, what do you say we take this back inside?"

"I say that sounds like a great idea."

"Good, now I can thank you properly without the guilt of jumping your bones in our little girl's play house. Watching her play princess just wouldn't be the same after that."

"No it wouldn't. But, I do like the way your mind works."

The two, honestly, just couldn't get enough of each other. Whether it was sitting in silence just sharing each other's company, kissing or hugging, or even sex, they just wanted to be together. It was new, and yet it wasn't. They just fit together in all the right ways. They were seeing that now. They were finally not afraid of what could go wrong because it all just felt too good to care. They never really had that. Hotch thought he did. Haley was as close to that as he got, but there was always something between them that would make it impossible. For her, he'd have to choose between his life's work and his family. And that wasn't a fair choice to ever have to make. But with Emily, though all the obstacles threatened to get in the way, he knew he could have both, she could have both, and it would be better than anything they've ever had before.

They sure as hell weren't complaining. Everything else came off, and they enjoyed that process. The bracelet, however, that stayed on; call it sentimental, but she didn't want that to come off unless it had to.

Out of breath, the sounds of the again pelting rain against the rood mixing with their panting, Hotch turned to her, has hand caressing her bare hip. "I think we're getting even better at this."

"I know. I didn't think that was possible. We were already pretty great before."

"Mmm." He nuzzled her cheek, his slight stubble rubbing against her skin. "We could always be better."

Turning the tables so that her body was on top of his, a thin sheet the only thing between them, Emily kissed him and seductively asked, "More practice?"

"Absolutely." It wasn't everyday they had the free time and empty, kid free house to just explore each other.

Yeah, they'd definitely never get tired of nights like that, nights where they were together, nights where they were free to do as they pleased, how they pleased, whenever they pleased. But they were just as content doing nothing together simply because the together part was everything they needed.

"I don't think I've ever been so exhausted in my life."

"A good exhausted?"

"The best exhausted."

"Good." He kissed her before pulling her body flush against his, cuddling her until they were both fast asleep.

They slept well that night. Being in his arms kept all the bad dreams away. The same could be said for him. Responding to the morning wake up, Hotch's warm breath tickling her ear as he gently stroked the outside of her thigh that was peeking out from under the sheet, Emily said, "Last night was amazing."

"I'm glad you thought so too."

"We could probably squeeze in a little more us time before Charlie's back."

"You up for that?"

"Better question is are _you_ up for that?"

"Always for you."

They were so wrapped up in each other that they didn't hear the car pull in or the front door open. They didn't hear the steps on the stairs. No, all they heard were their own sounds, the giggling and touching… They were completely invested in them. But then, the real world hit them.

"Mommy!"

"Charlie?!" Emily practically jumped off of Hotch.

"Daddy?"

"Uh…" Jesus…

"Why are you always having sleep overs without me?!" Charlie yelled, fuming and oblivious to the situation. Garcia immediately reacted to the loud noise and ran to her.

"Charlie? What's all the ruckus – Oh…" She observed the scene, and quite the sight it was. Emily and Hotch looked mortified, clothes on the floor, blankets pulled up all the way as Charlie sat on the end of the bed. "My, my, my… What do we have here?"

Cheeks flushed red, they could only share a mortified look before burying themselves in the pillows and groaning. There was no talking their way out of that one.

They were caught with their hand in the cookie jar… So to speak… kind of…

**I'm trying to be conscious of when I update. This semester is kicking my butt bad. It's my "English" semester, I call it because most of my classes have to do with that one of my major and not the other. And, more than that, it's all reading and writing and analyzing, and not any of the fun kind either. I've had to read and annotate over 300 pages already and write some number almost as crazy. And we're barely a few weeks in. Ok, I'm complaining and I shouldn't be. But, well, sometimes it sucks. Thankfully I like most of my classes, all except one. Any who, the point of that small rant was to say that I'm writing whenever I can, trying to make as many chapters in advance as possible so I can update timely. I don't know how it will work, but don't doubt that I'll always try.**

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**

**D**** Thanks. Unfortunately, grief is a part of life, so while it sucks that she had to go through that, I wanted to show that they'd be there for each other through the real life things. I wanted to give Emily a nice big hug that chapter though. Glad you liked the chapter so much.**

**SouthunLady**** Are they really braking up on the show? Except for the 200 episode, I must admit, I didn't catch many episodes since Paget left. But yay! Now he needs to fly to London and get his girl. :) Once it's all out there (which will be soon) you can expect a lot of different things from the girls and guys, maybe even the kids. We shall see. Anything can happen in the relationship cementing phase as I'm calling it. **

**rmpcmfan**** Thank you. Relationships can be very tenuous and ours with parents can be very up and down, you're right. We know nothing of Emily's father on the show, and while I would've liked to try writing him alive, I thought dealing with his past death and the emotional, almost neglect she had from both her parents would bring more depth. It's a complicated relationship, but the love's usually there. **

**KJ**** It seems like you felt so many different things that chapter and I think that's great. It was sad and heartbreaking because she was going through something all of us can relate to, the loss of someone we love, but great too because she had someone else she loved right beside her helping her through. **

**sarahb2007**** I'd call that a good emotional response. That means I hit my target. It was meant to be about that loss, but more importantly, it was about facing it, and getting through it, with someone she loves by her side. Tears are bound to happen with things like that. **

**Guest**** Thanks. She did finally have that support and was able to break that avoidance. I felt that was an important thing to show because it demonstrates her growth as a person and theirs as a couple. **

**Maxi**** Aw, thanks. I love that you love it so much. There's more coming, but it will have to end at some point. We've got a little time though.**

**Guest**** I love that you looove it. Thanks. Enjoy this new update if you're reading. **


	43. Hold Steady

_I do not own Criminal Minds, only the characters I have created in that world._

**Ok, so it's late and my editing at this point probably sucked so don't mind mistakes. I really just wanted to get this out and the middle of the night seems to be my only free time. Who needs sleep right?**

**Chapter 43: Hold Steady**

Well, that was not how they pictured that morning going. After the nice alarm clock in the form of a muscular hunk coaxed her from her sleep, she anticipated one last trip to Hotchville before they were back to being parents Emily and Aaron instead of couple Aaron and Emily. They didn't anticipate coitus interruptus in the form of their daughter and the boisterous tech… Certainly not… Not when the blonde was known for being notoriously late and just barely on time… Never early, except that day… when they would've been perfectly happy for her to be late.

"Oh, I so wish I had a camera right now. I'd engrave this moment in stone if I could. You have no idea." She giggled.

"Garcia…" It was a plea, a plea to please stop the torture and get out.

"Don't mind us. We just got breakfast. We'll go get the table set. You two… take your sweet, sweet time." She winked. "Come on Charlie. Let's give the 'rents a moment _alone._" She emphasized that last word.

"But… it's not fair. Mommy had a sleep over with Morgan and now daddy too. And Clyde. She never tells me! Only with Clyde sometimes. But not even all the time!"

"Probably best not to go telling everyone about mommy's sleepovers so… openly." The way the girl said it didn't paint the best picture of Emily.

"Even to you?"

"No, you can always tell me. You should definitely tell me _all_ about mommy's sleep overs."

"Ok."

"Garcia…" Emily knew she'd never live that down… Never, especially not if Morgan found out about it.

"Hush. Let's go Charlie." She took the girl's hand and walked out.

Their voices carried in the hallway and they distinctly heard Charlie ask, "How come mommy didn't have a shirt on? And why was she so giggly? Mommy's not giggly."

"Oh, trust me. She's giggly for your dad." The voices faded, but they heard it all.

"Oh god…" Emily groaned and covered her face with her hands.

"That was…"

"I know…"

"We should…"

"Yeah, definitely." Mood killed… "I guess I shouldn't slip back into your shirt with nothing underneath like I planned."

"I'd say not… I think I need the shirt. It's the only clean thing I have."

"Shame." Emily teased. "Come on, let's get dressed so we can suffer through Garcia's questions together."

They quickly readied so Garcia didn't come up with any ideas to explain what they were doing taking so long. A fast brush of the teeth, a rinse, a face wash for Emily, and dressed in actual clothes, they were ready. "This should be fun." He whispered to her as they headed downstairs.

"We, well you, get Jack today. We have to tell her about us now, but I thought we could tell them both today anyways."

"You did whatever you had to do?"

_Knocking on the door, Emily nearly held her breath. She didn't understand why she felt the need to do this. It wasn't mandatory. They weren't doing anything wrong. Yet, still she felt it was what was needed. If not only for her own peace of mind, then it was needed to keep things harmonious in the family. The door opened and she was greeted with curiosity. "Emily? What are you doing here?"_

"_Hi. I'm sorry for showing up out of the blue like this. Do you think we can talk?"_

"_Sure, of course. Please, come in."_

"_Thanks." She was led into a sitting room and offered all the pleasantries she knew she'd get. Refusing it, though, she just wanted to talk. "I know this is… unexpected, but I figured we needed to talk."_

"_I was wondering when this would happen."_

"_When what would happen?"_

"_I've known you, at least in passing and through stories for many years Emily. You and Aaron are getting closer."_

"_We are…"_

"_And you feel you need my permission." It wasn't a question._

"_I… I guess I do."_

"_But you don't. I will always love him, but we're not in love anymore. I want him to be happy just like I know he wants me to be."_

"_I…"_

"_You make him happy Emily. I see it every time I see him. You make him happy in a way I couldn't anymore." She looked at Emily with a kind smile. "He loves you."_

"_I love him."_

"_I know. You being here proves that."_

"_I want you to know that I love him and that… that I love Jack too. More than just seeing if you're ok with us dating, I wanted to make sure you're ok with me being in Jack's life."_

"_You were already in Jack's life. The moment you had Charlie… The moment you joined the team. You were in both of our lives, just not in the way I anticipated."_

"_I'm sorry…"_

"_Don't be. You're good for Aaron and so is Charlie. Jack loves you both, and, if I had to pick someone to be in their lives, you're not so bad."_

"_Thanks I think."_

"_You're welcome."_

"_I just want you to know that I'm not trying to be any more to Jack than what I am. He's his son and my daughter's brother, but I'm just Emily."_

"_You're a little more than that, and I want it to be that way. It's obvious that you will all be spending more time together, and I know you're not trying to take my place. You couldn't. But he has to know that he needs to listen to you and that you can punish him if need be. We'll figure it all out. I've never really been in this situation. Never thought I would be."_

"_Me either, so I guess it's a learning curve, we learn and adjust as time goes on."_

"_Exactly, and it looks like we're both willing to learn."_

"_Definitely." That was how they knew it would all work out. They knew, realistically, it would take some adjusting. Haley realized, and not for the first time, though possibly the first time Emily realized it herself, Emily wasn't going anywhere. She would be a permanent fixture in her son's life, maybe a stepmother one day. But even if not, permanent none the less. So, she had to adjust to add Emily into her life whether she liked it or not. Good thing she didn't mind. Emily, she was a good choice, a good fit for her ex-husband and her son. _

_The two women talked much longer than they anticipated, so long that Jack had returned from his playdate with his cousins and asked for dinner, sure to greet Emily happily with a hug. It was that moment that cemented it all. It meant more than all the girl talk and serious conversation. It meant more than the plans to get together and make friends as their kids bonded. It was the ease and comfort in which Jack interacted with Emily that made both the women feel like it was meant to be. Though a twinge of jealousy passed through the late Hotchner, now Brooks, that her son took so freely with another woman, another mother figure, she also couldn't help but be happy and smile at the sight. _

"_Bye Jack." Emily hugged him after Haley told him to go get washed up and start homework. "I really should get going. I have a… some place I need to be."_

"_Date tonight?"_

"_Uh… yeah." She said, shifting in her seat uncomfortably. _

"_You don't have to avoid saying it for me. I'm happy for both of you. He's a great guy."_

"_He really is." Standing up and ready to go, Emily had one more question. "So… You're really ok with this? And you're ok with us telling Jack we're together?"_

"_I'm ok with it. As long as he's happy and you both remain good to Jack, I'm ok with it. And I think my little detective in training already knows. And he likes you."_

"_You think?"_

"_You're great with him. Won him over a long time ago."_

_Smiling, she said, "Thank you Haley, for being so understanding and so kind to me. You didn't have to. Most women probably wouldn't. Though, I suppose, neither of us are most women."_

"_I think that's what Hotch saw in both of us."_

"_Maybe."_

"_Have a good time tonight."_

"_Thank you."_

Nodding, Emily responded, "Yeah, I'd say I did."

"Are you going to tell me about it?"

"Absolutely, later, after we deal with the two kids downstairs."

"Ok." He laughed. Garcia would certainly be like a kid searching for candy; relentless. "How are we handling this?"

"Avoidance…" She laughed. "I'm kidding. I don't have a plan. We go in blind and hope Garcia can tame that mouth of hers."

"That seems like a lot to hope for."

"Trust me, I know…" It truly was.

"Well hello you two." Garcia chirped. "How lovely to see you so glowing and fully clothed."

"Don't start, please." She motioned to Charlie.

"Fine." She put her hands up in surrender and mouthed, "This isn't over." Of course it wasn't.

The parents pushed the future torment out of their mind and went to properly greet Charlie. Surprisingly, she didn't ask questions. Not then anyway… Garcia, however, made a few remarks throughout breakfast, salacious in nature. Thankfully they went right over Charlie's head. But, their state of dress, or undress as it was, would be a part of Garcia's repertoire for some time, some great fodder for the machine. Of that, they had no doubt.

Hotch leaned over toward Emily and said, "I should go get Jack. Want me to take her with me?"

"Yeah." She nodded. "Charlie Bear, why don't you say goodbye and thank you to Penelope?"

"But why? I want Penelope to stay. She was telling me about…"

"About what?" She glinted toward Garcia.

"About the interweb, you know, how to hack and stuff. Right Charlie?"

"Right."

"Well," Emily pretended to buy that. "As fun as that sounds, you're going to go with daddy to pick up Jack and then we're going out."

"Out where?"

"You'll find out if you do what I tell you."

"Ok." She hopped down from her chair. "Bye Penelope. Thank you. I had tons of fun."

"Me too Juju." They shared a quick hug before the child scurried off, leaving Garcia behind with a knowing, evil, little smile. Hotch quickly excused himself. "So… You guys are together now. Can't say I didn't see that coming." She knew full well it was happening, they both knew she did. At least she was kind enough not to throw in I told you so. "Didn't expect to see so much of it, but… Well, it wasn't a bad view. JJ and I did always appreciate some of Bossman's finer _ass_-ets."

"Watch it. No ass-et staring for you. Not with my boyfriend."

"Oh!" She clapped. "Boyfriend!" Cheering, she squeezed Emily. "I'm so excited and happy for you. We should have like a coming out office party."

"We're not coming out PG… We're not gay."

"You were in your own little denial closet. That's close enough." Was it though, really? Only in Garcia land she supposed.

"Ok – but there is no office party. We're keeping this out of work as much as possible. Let's save the parties for another day."

"Way to kill all the fun." Garcia pouted. "A small one… Out of the office?"

"PG, really…"

"Come on. This is something to celebrate. We can have a barbeque. Hotch can man the girl, or Morgan… maybe they'll get all hot and sweaty and shirts will come off…" Her hand started flailing, fanning herself. She was nearly drooling. "Yeah, I like that idea. It needs to be done. When can we do this?"

"Actually," and idea had struck her, and Garcia would be the perfect tool to make it happen. She shared the idea with her friend. "What do you think? Can you do that?"

"You really don't know by now? I can do just about anything."

"So yes?"

"E-vites are being formulated as we speak."

"Great. I think."

"You're not going to regret this!" Maybe she would, Garcia was way too excited, and these were words most came to regret ever hearing in the end. "I better go. I have to get started."

"Don't go overboard." She said, but her call fell on deaf ears.

"Not possible." Garcia responded before fleeing with nothing more than a, "See you later."

Hotch and Charlie left right after that. He decided not to question why the blonde was more jovial than usual. He probably didn't want to know until he had to. That was the excuse anyway, but he was sure he'd have to talk to Emily about. She was looking a little stressed. Her face was poised with the question, "What did I just do?"

She'd have to have some faith in Garcia to rein in her Garcia-ness. Well, she wouldn't hold her breath. But, she would enjoy the quick moment alone, grab a shower and make a call. Knowing she didn't have a lot of time before the day with the kids began, she made the shower quick. Dried, dressed, and ready for the rest of the day, Emily made her call.

"Hello."

"Hey Jayje."

"Em? I didn't expect a call so early."

"Well, this is probably the only free time I have for the rest of the day. I'm not catching you at a bad time am I?"

"No you're fine."

"Good… Hotch just left with Charlie to pick up Jack. And I thought I'd call before Garcia beat me to it."

"Hotch spent the night?" She said with a certain tone, then halted. "Wait, Garcia?"

"Yeah…" She started. "Don't be mad, but you're not the first person I'm talking to today about this."

"What?"

"Let's start simple. How was your date with Will?"

"We had a nice time. It was just dinner and we talked – like we actually talked, not giving orders or checking schedules or planning something for Henry. We talked."

"That's great Jayje." She prodded a bit more, offered some advice when prompted, and had a little girl talk about Will.

"Ok, so enough about me. What happened?"

"I don't even want to say it…" She was embarrassed.

"Well… Now you have to." The blonde urged.

"Charlie walked in on me and Aaron and yelled at us and then Garcia came into the room too." She said it so quickly, in only one single breath that JJ almost didn't catch it. But she did.

"What?!" Like a thought double take she had to repeat, "What?!"

"I know… It's bad."

"Walked in on you how exactly? Be specific."

"I was very thankful there was a blanket."

"Were you actually doing anything?"

"Well, we weren't playing a game of charades."

"So you were actually…?"

"Yeah Jayje. We were having sex… well about to."

"Oh…" She wouldn't know how to handle that with Henry. "That's…"

"I'm so embarrassed. Ok, so Charlie walks in. And that's bad, but we could've come up with something to make that – I don't know – better or something to explain that without her losing that ignorant innocence. But then she yells that I'm always having sleepovers without her and Garcia comes running in."

"Oh no…"

"I think I may have flashed her a little."

"Purposely?"

"No! Why on earth would I do that purposely?" She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "She and Charlie were just leaving the room and I moved, the blanket slipped down just a little as she turned back. I don't know if she saw anything. She didn't say anything and if she wasn't going to, I definitely wasn't either."

JJ started laughing. "I'm sorry Em. I don't mean to laugh. That sounds horrible. But you have to admit, if it wasn't happening to you, it'd be hilarious."

"I wouldn't laugh if this happened to you." She pouted.

"I know. And, speaking of laughing, guess who is calling me right now."

"Don't answer. Not yet."

"Don't worry. I'll call her back once we hang up."

"Thanks… And tell her to… to not mention this to anyone else. I don't think I can look her in the face ever again. I can't just not look at anyone… How would that work?"

"It'll be fine."

"Tell me how to handle this?"

"If I knew how, I would. I guess just answer her questions."

"Right… I'll definitely be leaving out the x-rated parts. I don't think having a candid conversation about the mind blowing sex is appropriate for a five year old."

"Good idea to leave that out." Hearing Emily sigh, she pushed on. "So, he slept over?"

"Yeah."

"Mind blowing huh?"

"Out of this world."

"It went well?"

"So well. So, so very well. He was… And I…"

"Aww, you're too flustered to form words."

"I've never felt this way." She admitted.

"Never?"

"No… Never. It's just so… My heart flutters when I see him in the car park at work or when I see his name on my caller ID. And any time I'm near him…" She continued her list in a wistfully rambling manner. "It's just…"

"Amazing?"

"Yes. And magical. Have you ever felt that before?"

"I thought I did, but you make it seem like some out of body experience unlike any other."

"What about with Will?"

"I love Will."

"I know you do. I can see it on both of your faces."

"But we have our problems."

"Who doesn't?"

"Things have been better lately, especially since we went with you to Europe. It was like a mini honeymoon, minus the marriage."

"So what's the problem?"

"Now he's pushing the marriage part and…"

"You're not sure you want to?"

"Part of me thinks, we already have a kid, marriage is in the equation…"

"But?"

"But some of those things you were talking about… I don't feel anymore, and certainly not all the time. But I'm starting to feel them again… It's complicated."

"You've been together a long time. Our job creates a certain disconnect with anyone who isn't part of it."

"Will's a cop."

"Yeah, but he doesn't get called away for last minute travel across the country all the time."

"I guess… We're reconnecting though. It's like falling in love again. But different too."

"You'll figure it all out. Marriage isn't going anywhere. You can think about what you really want, and what the best thing for you is. I know he loves you and you love him. We've all had a pretty rough year. But, if I could find my way back to Aaron after all our mistakes, you and Will can make it all work."

"I want to marry him… I just want to make sure we're back to where we were, no more distance."

"Then tell him that. Work on it. At the end of the day, if you're happy, you're loved, and you feel safe and comfortable, then that's all you need. Your spark is still there, you just have to change it up, rediscover the people you fell in love with, find who you are now."

"Is that what happened between you and Hotch – _Aaron_?" She said his name in a way expected of Garcia, a sing songy voice that was almost teasing.

"No." She laughed. "Maybe. We were… When I first met him I was a kid, I couldn't determine what I felt one day from the next. I had a crush on him though, the handsome older that I wasn't even supposed to really interact with. But that was nothing. And when I met him again after being undercover with Doyle, those crush feelings came back, yeah, and I felt something, but I didn't just leap to love. I think, I think I loved him because what I learned about him from Charlie, what I saw of him through her. As much as she is me, there are things she does that are just so him. Those are the things I love most… How can I not? We both had feelings for each other that we repressed. I can't tell you how long they were love, but that's where we're at now."

"Wow, it's so… different hearing you talk like this."

"Good different?"

"Really good."

"I'm trying." Trying to be more open and talk freely, sometimes it was easier than others.

"You're doing it."

"I guess I better go. Aaron's going to be back any second with the kids and I need to get everything ready."

"Have fun. And remember, hands where the kids can see them at all times."

"Yes mom."

"Funny."

"That's me. So, I'll call you tomorrow, I don't know if he's staying over or not. We have – he has Jack…"

"How cute would a family sleep over be?"

"I don't know if we're ready for that. What if Jack doesn't like us together?"

"Is that a serious question?"

"Uh… no?" Yes?

"Good, talk to you tomorrow Em. Have a good time and I'll make sure Garcia keeps the mardi gras show to herself. I can't promise she won't buy beads for next time."

"Next time? There will be no next time."

Laughing, she said, "Bye Em,"

"Bye Jayje."

Breathing it all in, more than air, more than a normal breath, she felt – she felt different. They planned on telling the kids and the team and knowing that was forthcoming was completely lightening. She still felt embarrassed, but Charlie didn't see anything – much – and Garcia, though she would probably torture her from time to time, seemed genuinely happy for them… As if Emily wasn't sure of that already. As strong and indestructible as she seemed, she was still that insecure teen from time to time. That was one of those times, one of those things that sent her to those times.

But, despite the eventful morning, she had the best time. Having him beside her all night, having him there – it was everything she wanted and more. Perfect. Hotch arrived not long after the phone call ended, two very excited kids right along with him. "Hi Emily!" Jack greeted her and gave her an unexpected hug, one she willingly – nay happily, greedily – accepted and returned.

"Hi Jack."

"Dad said we're all going out today. That's why we're at your house. You're going to come too right? Like a family?"

She looked to Hotch before looking back at the boy, "Yeah Jack, all of us, like a family." They were – a family.

"Cool. Where are we going?"

"You'll see." Hotch patted the boy's back.

They herded up their small brood into the car, and went to an art class. A local business allowed families, children, adults, people of any age really, to sign up for an array of different art classes and family activities. Knowing time all together didn't happen quite as often as they would like, they just wanted to make it special. And, if the kids were in a good mood, it would help them, or at least Jack, accept the whole "daddy's dating another woman" thing.

The four of them made ceramic molds of their handprints, Charlie adding one of her quips. "Daddy's hand looks like it could eat ours. It's a dinosaur. Rawr!" She said. Once that was done and set aside, they each got one object to paint. Charlie's was an adorably colorful plate, Emily's a skillfully crafted vase, Hotch a mug, and Jack a picture frame. He was secretive about his decorations. "You'll see when I'm done!" He covered his work with his hands, his back hunched as he huddled over it. And, they were glad they waited.

"Oh Jack, it's beautiful."

"I made it for you Emily."

"For me?" Her heart was warmed. This sweet little boy had all the reason any boy needed to not like her, and there he was, making gifts for her.

"Yeah, look." He pointed to the individual names he wrote on the frame. "It's in our favorite colors. This side has girly things like flowers for you and Charlie." Its border on that half a pale pink with little flowers and stars surrounding their names. Emily's and Charlie's both in purple. Aaron and Jack were written in red, a pastel blue behind it, background embellishments of baseballs and other sports related paraphernalia. "Dad said his favorite color is red, like mine. I like it because it's cool, like my new shoes. But I heard dad say he liked red because you looked so good in it." Well, damn if her cheeks weren't as red as those letters. "Is that because you and dad are dating?"

"What gave you that idea?" She asked in surprise, Hotch painting with Charlie, pretending not to eavesdrop.

"Dad told me that sometimes when parents aren't together anymore, they see other people. We always play together, all four of us. You guys touch a lot, you know like hold hands. And you smile all weird when you see each other. When I asked, dad said he wanted to kiss you. So you got to be dating right? Are you dating?"

"Would that be ok with you?"

"As long as you're nice to each other." He said, the voice of an adult coming from a small child.

"Yeah Jack, we're dating. I love your dad very much."

"I think he loves you a lot too." He looked away shyly, slowly making small brush strokes on his art. "Emily?"

"What is it Jack?"

"Do you love me too?"

The question caught her off guard. It had an easy answer, but it wasn't what she expected. "I do Jack. I love you very much."

He got up from his seat and hugged her. "I love you too Emily." He whispered in her ear, a single tear flushing from her eye as she gripped him tighter. Hotch watched with such calm and euphoria. He knew Jack would be ok, as worried as he was about telling him outright, but that was… From a father's perspective, from anyone with a heart, a beautiful thing to witness.

"Hey Charlie, let's go see what mom and Jack are up to."

"Ok." The pair joined the others.

"Charlie, mom and I wanted to talk to you and Jack."

"You are talking."

"Right, but we want to talk to you about something else." He waited for response, but just got an impatient child staring at him. "Mom and I are going to be spending a lot more time together."

"Mommy already said that. And you had a sleep over last night. Without me!"

"You did?" Jack asked.

"Uh huh." Charlie nodded. Her parents weren't going to get a word in edgewise. "And they weren't wearing shirts."

"You weren't?"

"Penelope said sometimes grownups sleep like that, but only grownups are allowed to. And only if they love each other." Well, she'd have to thank Garcia for that one.

"Mommy and daddy didn't have any pants on either."

"What?!" Hotch yelled, the other patrons looking at him in question. He offered them a silent apology and turned to the problem at hand.

"How would you know that Charlie? Why do you think we didn't have pants on?" They practically put a noose around their necks and told Charlie to pull. They were so uncomfortable.

"I stepped on them. Your pants were on the floor. That's not good mommy. You're supposed to put clothes away."

"You were naked?" Jack questioned.

"What? Huh…" She looked to Hotch for a little help, but he was as flabbergasted as she was about where this conversation went.

"Were you doing the bed dance?"

"The what?" The parents asked simultaneously. They could hear the nearby parents quietly snickering, a vibe of "been there, done that, now it's fun to watch other parents squirm."

"A kid in my class said he saw his mom and dad do the bed dance. They were naked under the covers and moving around." He looked so serious, but all they could feel were their hearts racing and their mouths go dry. "And then they had a baby." Eyes squinting, he asked, "Are you having a baby?"

"You're having a baby?!" Charlie yelled.

What the hell were the other parents telling their kids? And why did they get stuck with the smart ones that understood things they shouldn't. "Not that I know of…" Emily quipped. This certainly went in a totally different direction.

"I love Henry. Does that mean I can sleep naked with him?"

"No!" They said in unison.

"But why not? You and daddy did."

"Because you're a kid."

"And neither of you can do that until you're at least 30." Hotch stated. There'd be none of that.

"That's old."

"Well, it's an old people thing."

"Is it fun?" Damn it Jack.

"Only if you're old."

"Is that what you do when you date? Get naked together?"

"Um… Well… Nah – no…"

"Then why did you do it?"

"What do you do when you're naked?"

"Is this 20 questions from hell? What is happening here?"

"Kids," Hotch took control. "Emily and I love each other very much, just like we love you. As adults in a committed relationship, old, remember the old part, we do things adults do that you don't need to concern yourself with. Right now, we just want to know if you're both really ok with us dating."

"I'm ok with it. I want you and daddy to be happy and you guys smile a lot when you're together. That means you're happy right?"

"It does. Thanks Jack."

"What about you Charlie? What do you think?"

"I don't know what that means, but I don't care. I want to know why you get naked. Isn't it cold? How do you keep warm? What do you do?"

"Oh please kill me now." The questions just kept coming at them.

"Are you going to get married?"

"We'll see."

"Are you going to have more babies?"

"I don't want you to have more babies! I'm your baby."

"You'll have to share Charlie, like I share dad with you."

"No! You are not allowed to have babies. You are my mommy and my daddy and Jack's daddy. No more."

Feeling a migraine coming on, Emily rubbed at her temples and put a stop to the madness. "We don't have to worry about that right now. Let's just go. We can go to the park and have a nice picnic."

"It won't rain this time." He whispered in her ear with a smile.

"I almost hope it does." A delicate smile, unafraid of the kids seeing, she leaned in and kissed him.

"Eww. They're kissing." Charlie scrunched her little nose.

"It's because they love each other." Hotch and Emily were watching their children now.

"I don't kiss you but I love you."

"Not like that. But here." He bent don just a little and placed a kiss on Charlie's cheek. "I love you too."

From their spot across the table, her head resting on Hotch's shoulder, Emily whispered to him, "We have some great kids."

"Pains sometimes."

"But great anyways."

"We're lucky."

"The luckiest."

"Come on guys. Let's get out of here."

They had a great time, a great weekend. So much so, they even stayed over at Emily's. Turning her living room into a fort made of sheets, a pillow floor with sleeping bags, they camped out there. They had an amazing time and the kids made them promise to do it again. How could they say no? Emily loved that boy just as much as she loved Charlie. He was a part of Hotch and that made him a part of her family, a part that she loved.

And after that, the week passed by relatively smoothly. As expected, Emily was on the receiving end of some torture, torture for her, fun for Garcia. Hotch didn't find it all that funny either, though she was better with him. He was, after all, her boss. She definitely couldn't push him as far. Some decorum was necessary. "She definitely saw something." JJ told her when they talked. "She said you had a nice rack, would definitely get her juices flowing if that was her thing. I'll leave out the rest."

"Please do."

"But she had quite a bit to say."

"I bet she did."

"Most of it about how adorable you looked all red and embarrassed. And… And how happy you were."

"I was happy. I am."

"I guess I should get to work huh?"

"Maybe."

As she walked away, just loud enough for Emily to hear, she added, "She also said you had a nice ass!"

"Oh Garcia…" Emily face-palmed. That woman would be the death of her.

Even so, she was still a great friend and an expert at getting things done. Just as asked, Garcia set up everything for them. Friday night, everyone was invited over to Emily's for a barbeque. "What's the occasion Baby Girl?" Morgan asked the blonde one afternoon.

"I just wanted us all to get together and Emily was kind enough to let me use her place. Tell me you'll come Hot Stuff. Your weekend honey can wait a day or two."

"I'll be there."

"Good."

JJ, already aware of what would be happening there, food, fun, friends, family, and coming out as Garcia called it, made sure to clear her schedule. Will would be working, but Henry would be there with her to keep Charlie busy while the grownups talked. And Emily even called and asked Haley if Jack could come too. Soon, they all said they would be there. Getting together outside of work, actually all together with no pressing issues, as far as they knew, between them, sounded pretty good. At least no one was half a world away this time. They'd be together without the tension, hopefully.

Come Friday night, they all gathered. Emily broke out the good stuff, some wine she brought back from France, the English whiskey, frozen drinks for the adults, virgin versions for the kids to feel a part of everything. It was fun. But, it was like they all knew that they were there for something else. Hotch and Rossi manned the grill as Morgan and Reid played with the kids. They chased them, tossed them up in the air, becoming kids themselves. It was nice to see them cut loose and be so free.

It was a sunny summer day. The pool was open and the temperature just right. Garcia even managed to taunt Emily a little more with a cat call as she hopped into the pool with the kids, her blood red bikini, as modest as they could be. Rossi wrangled them all in when the food was ready and sat them at the outdoor table. The large group at like a family would, noisily chattering, passing food, about five different conversations going on at any given time.

But, as nice as it all was, there was a point to the evening beyond that. JJ, sensing Emily itching to just get it out of the way, excused herself. Saying they were going to clear the dishes and then get some ice cream, she took the kids with her. Garcia, also picking up on Emily's cues, gave her the chance to speak. "So I know you all thought this was me being me and having a random get together. Well, surprise! It's not. Our Em here has something to say. You all better listen and be nice."

Emily gave her a nod and smile before facing the music. "Ok guys. First, I want to say thanks for coming."

"Something going on?" Morgan eyed her suspiciously.

"We wanted to talk to you about something and we didn't want to do it at work."

"We?"

"Yes, me… and Ho-Aaron…"

"What is it?" Reid asked. "Are you leaving?"

"I hope not." she responded honestly.

"What does that mean?"

"I'll explain."

Hotch spoke up and said, "We want to start by saying this won't affect our work."

"We'll try to keep the personal out of the professional as best we can."

"It's impossible to totally separate it. We know that. We're all friends at the office and friends talk, but when it comes to the actual work, nothing has to change."

"Nothing will."

"You're sleeping together." Morgan stated gruffly. It was the conclusion he was dreading. He loved them and he wanted them happy, but he hated to think what it could do to the team. The dynamics were good. Why change them? You don't mess with a good thing.

"We're in a relationship Derek." Emily changed the tone. They were sleeping together, but it wasn't just that. That wasn't the basis of their relationship. It wasn't just sex. It was love and commitment.

"How long?"

"Haven't we practically been in some relationship for years?" She asked. "But, not long. After we talked Derek, not before." Because that was what he was really asking about, whether or not she lied to him when he asked.

"I know this isn't the best idea for our careers, but you can't help who you love."

"You don't have to be worried about the team."

Emily saw the happy smile on Garcia's face, that Rossi smirk on the older man, but Reid just looked lost and Morgan kind of pissed. He hated being the last to know. He hated, even more, that _she_ never told him anything until she had to. "We were waiting to tell you until we knew how serious this was. But we've already told the kids, and we wanted you all to be the next to know."

"You're not pregnant. Are you?"

"God Morgan…" She turned to Hotch and asked, "Why is everyone asking that? Do I look pregnant? Do I need to work out more?"

"You're gorgeous." He whispered back.

She went back to the real conversation. "Look Morgan… It's not about that. It's not about anything but what we feel for each other. Maybe it's not logical, but it is what it is."

"I love Emily."

"And I love Aaron." She looked Morgan in the eyes. "I already know what some of you think. JJ already knows, obviously… Garcia figured it out, and Rossi is Rossi." As cliché as that saying was becoming… "Few secrets slip past him long… But we didn't plan on telling everyone until we knew for sure we were willing to risk it all for each other."

"And we are." Aaron stated firmly.

"So… We need to know what you're thinking."

"I think it's positively ah-maze-balls!"

"Are you kidding me?!" Morgan slammed his hand against the table. "I understand that you made mistakes in your past. Whatever, we all have. And you get pregnant with Hotch's kid. I wouldn't change that either. She's great. But why? Why mess with this team? Strauss is going to break us up, you know that don't you? She's been looking for a reason since you got there, even before then. Now here you are, giving her one."

"Listen Morgan." Hatch was about to rant, in a way they'd probably never get to see, not often anyway, but Emily made up her mind to say what she needed to say.

"We like to think there's one of us who holds the heart of the team; that the one essential person keeps the blood flowing. And maybe that's true. We do all have our roles, but we all make up a little piece of that heart. We work so well together because we need each other to be whole. We need to form that heart and keep the other parts working. So if you're opposed to us being together, really opposed, if you can't get past the omissions and deal with our past, I'll leave. I'll hand in my resignation right now." She pushed the envelope she had hidden in her pocket to the middle of the table. "You can find a different piece of that heart, but I can't find a new father for my kid and I can't deny what I feel anymore. I can't keep living all bottled up and in my head. We have to make something work between us, but you don't have to." She sighed. "So, if you're really against us giving us a shot, then I'll leave the team."

"Where would you go? To London again? Take that job offer?"

That wasn't the reaction she was looking for. A sweeping, "Don't go" would've been great. "No… I'll try to get in with the State Department or something."

"What if I don't want you to go?" Reid asked, suddenly looking like the kid he kind of was.

"I don't want to go."

"And we don't want you to go." Garcia added, sternly like a warning.

"But I talked it over with Aaron and came to the decision that you all have to be ok with this or I start looking for a new job. I love my job. I love being right where I am with all of you, so doing that would be hard, not seeing all of your pretty faces everyday would be hard, but hiding that piece of me from you and neglecting those feelings again would be harder. I can't live like that."

"You can't leave!" Both Garcia and Reid said.

"I know what I'm asking… It's hard to accept it, accept that things are changing, but they're not. You don't have to accept it if you don't want to, you just have to accept me the same way you have been, accept that I'm an adult making adult choices, and trust that I'm doing what's best for me."

"We know we're asking a lot. If you are ok with us dating, being together, and she stays, we're asking you to keep something from Strauss until we tell her, only when we need to. We won't bring our personal into work. I won't treat her any differently there than I do now, or have been."

"You have to know that's not possible man." Morgan scoffed. "She's the woman you love. Every time she goes out there you're going to want to pull her back."

"You don't think I want to do that with all of you?"

"Not like you want to with her."

"I can assure you, I don't want any of you to be in danger at any point, especially not if I can help it. Yeah, sometimes it's harder with her because I know she has a child at home that needs her, my child, but it's the same feeling I have when thinking of JJ on the line. We all have something and I always want to keep us out of harm's way, but we know the job and its risks. Nothing changes."

"You're both nuts if you don't think this changes things. It changes everything. We work as a team because we know our roles. We know each other and how we fit, but this messes with the balance. That's why there a rules."

"Those rules are more strong suggestions. It's frowned upon to date someone you work with, especially someone who is considered your subordinate, but if it doesn't affect our work, they can't fire us."

"Fine, so you skirt around the rules. But we still have Strauss on our asses and new team dynamics."

"And we'll adjust, right Derek?" Garcia interrupted, giving the question as her own strong suggestion. "We'll be happy for them and figure it out."

"I know I gave you all those statistics on interoffice dating and single parenting. Some of them, well I know now that they weren't helpful, but that's the way my mind works. I'm logical. But, I am also your friend. You are both my family. It may take some getting used to, but so did most of the year's events. So, I'm going to be happy for you. I am happy for you. I want this to work out for you."

"Thanks Reid. What do you say Morgan?"

"I don't know…" He was going through a few emotions. He was happy for them. He wanted them happy and to work it out. But, again, it felt like they were dangling a bone from flimsy wire with a rabid dog about to catch it. His team, his family, was being threatened in a way. They were giving the ammunition to break the team apart and that scared him. He didn't want to lose them. But, pushing them away like he has been, like he asked Emily not to time and again, wasn't right either. So what was?

"Morgan. This is a lot to process, but aren't you the one who told me to go after her? Aren't you the one who told me that you were sorry for the way you acted toward us, that we deserved each other and to be happy? Well, we have each other. We're happy. Now we want you to be happy for us." He did say those things. Damn, why was he being a jerk? He was just worried. She and he have both felt their share of hurt. And it was like he was the only one who held onto that. He had to let it go.

"You're right." He stood and moved to them. "I saw this coming. I know. And I am happy for you. Princess, you have to know, we've had some rough patches this last year, but I always want what's best for you and I never mean to hurt you. I love you Em. I'm sorry I've been so hard on you. It just feels like you've always got a secret hanging around to throw us all off again. Promise me this is that last one. Promise me this is the last one and I hug you, shake his hand, and we'll all just move on."

"As far as I know, this is the last secret. As far as I know." She restated that. It was a caveat that needed to be heard. "But I don't know what's in store for us. I don't know what's going to come up. But I promise to always try to be upfront with anything and tell you what I can as soon as I can."

"I'll take it." He hugged her. "I'm sorry. Be happy ok? And if you need me to put him in line, ever, you let me know. I'll be happy to do it."

"Thanks Derek. I love you, you know."

"Yeah, love you too Princess." He moved to shake Hotch's hand. "Congratulations man. She's a keeper."

"I know. I'm not letting go."

"I'm sorry. I was being an ass… again."

"Let's just make it a clean slate. We're all here now. Were all happy. That's what matters."

"You got it."

"Oh this is so great!" Garcia jumped. That was when the true party began.

Everyone was relaxed after that. Things weren't completely better with Morgan. He still had issue with it, but, he realized, he really shouldn't, and he was going to do his best to just be the supportive friend. They all loved and supported each other. That was a promise they made every day on the job. It shouldn't stop off the job. It wouldn't. And they were mending the fences. The last year took so much out of all of them. It made them worry more about the potential dangers, worry more about each other and the cost of the job. It made them worry about their unit as a team, and staying as such. But they survived all that came their way ad a little worry wasn't going to hold them down.

The rest of the night went much better. Garcia, once she got him alone, told Derek that she was proud of him. "I know you love her. For a while there, when she got home from the hospital, even though you were angry at her, you guys got really close. You were always around and helping out. But, that was never your place Derek."

"I know."

"But you'll have what they have someday, if it's what you want."

"So will you Baby Girl." He wrapped her in a hug. They'd all have it.

The night was a success, by any definition, like many of their group get-togethers ended up being. Even as the night grew later and the kids were all fast asleep, the adults were still outside surrounding the fire pit, talking and laughing. Despite the rocky middle of the day, they were just having fun. But the fun was about to be spoiled. The faint sounds of ringing called to Emily's attention. "Is that the house phone?" She asked no one in particular and looked at her watch. "It's almost 1. Who would be calling?"

"I don't know. You better get it though."

"Yeah," she rushed up. "Be right back."

She hurried to the phone. The caller ID showed no number, but she picked up. "Emily." He greeted. Clearly he knew her.

"Yeah, hello? Who is this?"

"It's Sean."

"Sean?" She questioned. He said something, but the static was horrible. "I think we have a bad connection. I can't understand everything."

"I… Aaron… answer phone." He tried. "Urgent."

"What about Aaron? What's urgent?"

"Tried calling… no answer… you next."

"What?"

"Mom's in the hospital… He… here." The static continued to cut a lot off. "He should be here."

"Your mom's in the hospital? What's going on? Hello? Hello?"

There was no answer but the dial tone. Reluctantly, she hung up the phone. Unsure how to proceed, a poker face that would fool no one, she walked outside. They could see her all approaching, a look they couldn't quite discern gracing her features.

"What's that face? I don't like that face."

"Phone rings in the middle of the night, usually not a good thing. And it's not a case. We're all here."

Hotch jumped up and walked to her, leaving the others to speculate while he went for real answers. "Emily, what's wrong?"

"I…" She looked him in the eye, not knowing how to tell him.

"What is it?"

"It's – it's your mom."

"My mom? She called you? In the middle of the night?" He'd have to have a talk about that with her. How'd she even get Emily's number?

"No…"

"No? Now I'm confused. Who called? What did they want?"

"That was Sean."

"My brother? Is he ok? Why was he calling you?"

"The connection was bad. It sounded like he was driving through a dead zone or something. But… He said he tried calling you and you didn't answer."

"What?" He pulled his phone from his pocket and sure enough, the phone was off. Turning it on, he saw several missed calls and messages. "What did he want?" Now he was worried. His brother never tried that hard to get a hold of him.

"It's about your mom. I don't know any of the details, but she's in the hospital."

"What? What happened?"

"I don't know… I don't know, but it sounded like you should get there."

The team watched from their spot wondering what was going on. Emily looked like she saw a ghost and Hotch looked like he was breaking. "They don't look ok."

"Should we go over there and see what's going on?"

"It looks like Hotch is leaving."

"Storming away is more like it."

"She's coming. Act natural."

Emily slowly made her way over, stopping before them and taking a deep breath. "Everything ok Em?"

"That looked…"

"Intense."

"Where did Hotch go?"

Taking her seat again, Emily began, "That call was Sean."

"Hotchner?"

"Yes. Something happened to Aaron's mom and she's in the hospital."

"Oh no! Poor Hotch. Is she going to be ok?"

"I don't know. Sean didn't say anything. The call was dropped but we're going to head there."

"Can either of you drive? We've been drinking. And is Hotch ok?"

"I'm going to drive. I haven't had anything in hours and even then, I didn't have much. Hotch is… He's ok. As ok as he can be. He just went to his car. He's getting his go bag and Jack's weekend bag and putting them into my car."

"You guys are going now?"

"Yes. We want to be there by early morning. We're going to take the next flight out there and grab a rental."

"And you're taking the kids?

"I don't know how she's doing or what's going on, so I need to be there for him and the kids should be there too… Just in case."

"You think it's that bad?"

"I don't know… At this point, we don't know much of anything. But we're a family and we're doing this together."

"We're here if you need us too."

"I know. Thanks. I need to go make a bag for Charlie and me. I want you guys to feel free to stay. Henry's already asleep on the couch. We have three bedrooms upstairs that are ready to use and my office has a pull out. There's plenty of room. So make yourselves at home. JJ has a key and can lock up when you all leave. Don't worry about any mess. I'll take care of it when we get back."

"Tell Hotch we're here if he needs anything and we hope everything is ok."

"I'm sure he knows, but I'll tell him anyway."

"And keep us informed."

"Will do."

"Travel safe."

"Thanks."

"Em? You almost ready. I got us tickets we just have to get there."

"I'll be right there."

"I better go."

The entire group sobered up by that point, as they watched Emily retreat. She quickly packed a few things, not really paying attention to her own clothes just making sure the kids were set and Hotch was taken care of. He, and everyone, had proven they would always be there for her. Now, it was time for her to return the favor. It was time for them to all be there for him, whatever it turned out to be.

**TWO MORE CHAPTERS LEFT! I'm so sad. But there will be a sequel. Anyway, this is the last chapter I had prewritten, so I put off uploading hoping I'd have time to write, but, with three major essays due and two tests, plus a writing portfolio (on top of regular homework) I barely had time to sleep these last few weeks. But, I hope I have a few hours here and there to squeeze some writing in. We shall see. In the meantime, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and don't hate me too much for the cliffy like ending. **

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**

**D**** Date night finally happened! Excitement! And what a way to end that date right? I mean, daughter and Garcia walking in on them… It just clicked and I went with it. So glad you seemed to enjoy it as well.**

**123a456e**** Thank you. And feel free to keep saying it. It never hurts =p **

**SouthunLady**** Im glad you found it so priceless. I can't tell you how much fun I had writing it. I had several different versions and that one won out. It worked best I think, not too over the top, but certainly entertaining. I loved writing it. Your granddaughter's really growing up. High school… Hope it's all going well for her. **

**rmpcmfan**** Of course it would. Even the fun sweet times can't be completely drama free. And Charlie, come on, she had to react like that. She's a little cutie pie. Lol I'm not biased, she's just my creation. Their relationship is definitely getting better.**

**KJ**** I absolutely freaking love that you loved it! I actually loved that chapter too. Sometimes the levity is what a story needs and it seemed like a natural thing to write. It happens. Thankfully I never walked in on ny parents, but it does happen.**

**sourgummycandy**** Thanks so much. I'm no guy, but I imagine that, even if they don't show it, when a date really matters to them, they get a little nervous too (the good ones anyway). I wanted to show that because she does matter to him, so he wanted it to be perfect. Don't worry about the reviews. I appreciate each and every one, but I never expect them from anyone. **

**Maxi**** I did leave it there, so sorry. But it was a good funny cliffhanger type place to leave it, right? Not too dramatic. Fun. **

**WriterM19**** First off, thanks so much for rereading and reviewing all the chapters. I appreciate it so much. You'll see how she's doing next chapter. (and way to spoil that lol I gave you a snippet and you shared. No fair) Anyway, I'm glad you liked it. **

**HPforever-after**** Thanks. I wanted to lighten it up a little as the story comes to a close. People seem to like it. I'm glad you did too.**


	44. Emergency

_I do not own Criminal Minds, only the characters I have created in that world._

**Alright, I finally got a day where I wasn't drowning in homework and tests, yay! This chapter wasn't how I originally planned it, but I think the end result is the same and it works for story progression. Read on. **

**Chapter 44: Emergency**

The airplane touched down just a few hours later. The car ride and wait were longer than the actual air trip. After getting the kids settled and explaining what they could without sending them into the same panic they were internalizing, they began to talk, realizing they didn't know which hospital to go to or really know much information at all. The kids were fast asleep, still too early for them, as they discussed what the plan was. "When we land, I'll call Sean. If he doesn't answer, I'll try the hospital nearest her house."

"I'll get us a rental car while you do that. If there's nothing available, I'll call a car service."

They ended up doing the latter. Sean was notoriously bad as answering his phone, apparently, even in emergency like situations. He called the hospital while Emily was in line for a rental car with the kids. Using his credentials, he was able to confirm she was there, but they were adamant about not giving out any other information, especially over the phone. It didn't matter that he was family. She was there and ok. That was all he got.

Emily did a good job of talking him down, assuring him his mother would be fine. He was a mess, and she just had to hope she was right and not feeding him a bunch of lines. So, they rushed to the hospital, all the while Emily tried to get two kids fed, changed, and keep things as normal for them as she could until they knew what was happening.

When they got there, the staff wasn't exactly helpful. She wouldn't tell him, but he was the problem. He came off a little erratic and flashing an FBI badge with a bombardment of questions and a flurry of emotions didn't exactly instill any trust in him. "Can you believe these people?" He huffed when he returned to her and the kids.

"Kids," she failed to answer him. "Stay here with dad. I'll be right back."

"Ok." They agreed.

"Hi." She approached the desk.

"Hello." The woman, a nurse Emily gathered, responded.

"So, I know he came off a little strong, but that man over there," she pointed to Aaron. "Really is an FBI agent. And so am I. Now, we're not here to bother you or cause any trouble. His mother's in this hospital and we just want a room number."

"Name?"

"Helen Hotchner."

"This isn't for an FBI case." The nurse deduced. "You family?"

"Uh… yeah. He's my husband. So, Helen's my mother in law."

The woman huffed, but gave Emily the room number. "She's getting some tests done, but you can go up."

"Thank you so much." Smiling kindly toward the woman, she went to return to her family. "Come on. We have to go the 2nd floor."

"She told you? Did she say anything else?"

"She's getting some sort of tests done, so she might not be in the room." She moved closer. "What do you want to tell the kids?"

"You don't think what we said already is enough for now?"

"Look at them. They're wondering what we're doing here." Sure enough, Jack was staring at them with his curious eyes, eyes the same as the ones she saw when she looked at his father, the same face as when Hotch was looking at the murder board trying to piece the clues together.

"You're right, but I don't know anything else. I don't want to tell them everything will be fine if it's not. I don't want to lie."

He sounded so sad and lost, like little Hotch was trying to get out from inside the man. "Ok." She hugged him. "We'll just tell them that grandma's here and we needed to be here to see how she's doing."

"And if they ask more questions?"

"We'll answer them the best we can."

"Ok, thank you."

"I'm here for you too Hotch."

"I know." He leaned his forehead against hers. "I love you Em."

"I love you too." If anything, it was that shared love that was keeping them both grounded. They didn't know if they could handle any more emergency situations.

"Are mommy and daddy going to kiss again? They're being gross. All they do is kiss now." Their body shook with their silent laughs as they listened to their children.

"That's what grownups do when they love each other."

"Then they must really love each other lots and lots."

"I think they do. They love each other a lot like they love us. That's what families do."

"Well, we have a big family. We've got mommy and daddy and Clyde and JJ and your mom and Henry and Reid and grandma mommy's mom and grandma daddy's mom and Morgan…" The list went on and with each name, she counted off on her little fingers. The adults just took the moment to relax, Hotch's tense and rigid frame finally letting go a little. Their kids were good at helping them do that, and they hated to break up their little sibling chat, but he really needed to go check on his mother.

"Hey guys, let's go." Sure enough, they did have questions about what they were doing in the hospital, Charlie worried someone was hurt or sick, her mind plagued with the memories of her mother's long sleep, and Jack just assured her that they were all fine. They did what they could to play things down. They, truly, didn't know anything either, just that his mother was there. It could've been as simple as needing stitches to something much more serious…

When they got to the room, the kids immediately ran in. Helen was absent but there was still someone there. "Uncle Sean!" The kids cried as they ran to him and offered a proper hello. Hotch gave them their moment before pulling his brother aside.

"What's going on? How's mom? Is she ok? What happened?" He was quick to look for answers.

"Aaron, big brother, what are you doing here?" He spoke so nonchalantly, like there wasn't an obvious reason for his arrival; it made the older man see red.

"What am I doing here?! You told me to get here. How's mom?"

"Relax bro. Mom's fine."

"She's fine? _**Fine?**_" He emphasized the word, drawing it out slowly.

"Yeah, she's fine. She just had a bad fall. Hurt her hip."

"You called Emily and you left me a message. You said it was an emergency! You said mom was in the hospital and I needed to get here right away!"

"Mom is in the hospital and you did need to be here." The 'duh' face had Hotch's hands balled in fists.

"I'm going to kill you Sean." He grabbed his brother. Emily told the kids to wait in the hall for her, and quickly ushered them out as the brothers exchanged some heated words.

"What's your problem?!" Sean yelled.

"Aaron, let him go." She urged. "Please. Let him go."

"Fine." He pulled away and sighed, her hands on his body the only thing keeping him from bringing his brother to fight club.

"Sean, how's your mom? What happened?"

"She's alright. They're getting some scans done. She passed out when she fell so they wanted to make sure there was nothing wrong."

"Is there?"

"No. She had a mild concussion from hitting her head, but it's not serious. Her hip is bruised, but they don't think it's broken or anything. She'll just need to take it easy for a few weeks. It's a pretty gnarly bruise."

"Why couldn't you just say that on the phone?!" Aaron yelled. "I would've come either way. Instead you left frantic messages and called Emily saying it was an emergency, so I packed up my family in the middle of the night, flew here, and all that to find out she's fine! I was worried sick. I thought she was dying Sean!"

"I'm sorry!" They really needed to talk it out, and, since they were back to a semi normal state, Emily went to the kids.

"Mommy? Why were they fighting?"

"They weren't fighting…"

"Yes they were." Jack told her. Ok, there goes the parental white lies. Their kids were to Sherlockian for that.

"Ok… Sometimes brothers argue. And daddy was really worried about his mom, about grandma, so he was already upset. Uncle Sean scared him and he was angry. Dad didn't react very well."

"He wasn't being very nice."

"I know. But they're working it out."

"Is he going to get a time out?"

"I think we'll let it slide just this once."

"Where are we going?"

"Cookies from the cafeteria?" Emily asked them.

"Yay!"

Back in the room, the brothers were working things out. Sean apologized, he didn't mean to make Hotch so worried, but he got a call from his mother saying she was in the hospital and he panicked too, even when she said she was fine. He needed his big brother to be there with him to go through it too, just in case, even if just to be there. So he made that happen, in the wrong way, but still, it worked. He got his brother there, had a nice bruise on his arm to show for it.

"Mom." Aaron stood at attention and smiled at her as she was wheeled back into the room.

"Aaron, my boy. What are you doing here? I told Sean not to worry you."

"Come one Ma." Sean whined. "He had to know what was going on."

"And I want to be here." He assured her. "How are you feeling?"

The nurse helped her back into bed. "I'm feeling my age for once. I don't really like it. But it isn't so bad. Just a little sore."

"I'm so glad you're alright mom." Aaron hugged her.

"Don't look so worried. I'm not dead yet."

"Ma. Don't joke like that."

"Fine, fine. Don't allow an old woman her fun."

"Knock, knock." Emily said as she tapped gently on the door. "Can we come in?"

Helen looked to her sons. "We?"

"Grandma!" The two kids came in with smiles and joy.

"Oh, Aaron, you brought the family!" She looked to him and winked. "And the girl too. The right one."

"We're all here."

"Hello ma'am." Emily greeted once the kids were done. "I'm glad to see you're doing ok."

"What's this ma'am business dear? We're not exactly strangers. It's Helen."

"Ok… Helen. How are you feeling? Can I get you anything? I hear they serve up a tasty cookie sandwich."

"Uh huh." The kids nodded enthusiastically. "Really good."

"You don't say. I'll have to get me one of those before I leave. But, I'm fine right now, thank you Emily."

"No problem ma' – Helen. Just let me know if there's anything I can do for you."

The eldest Hotchner spent some time with her grandchildren and sons as Emily sat back and watched, almost afraid to join in on such an intimate looking moment. Despite their surroundings, they all looked to be enjoying themselves. The family looked so complete and happy. Emily couldn't help herself from snapping a picture or two.

Helen was happy to hear that she would be ok with a little bed rest and good old relaxation. The doctor gave her the ok to head home. But, no one wanted her to be home alone. "We can stay." Emily offered to Hotch while they were alone, off getting a coffee and food for the kids.

"What?"

"It's the weekend… We can all at least stay until Sunday night and I can hire a nurse for her."

"You want to stay?"

"Well, yeah… She's your mother and she is just getting out of the hospital. If she'll have us… I'd love to stay and help her out. I can get a hotel room…"

"Emily…"

"No listen. You and the kids, assuming you want them there, can stay at the house. I'll get a hotel room nearby and come over first thing in the morning to help out during the day. And if the kids are too much, they can come stay with me to give your mother a break."

"You know I love you right?"

"I love you too." She kissed him.

"Thank you so much for all of this. You've been… a rock."

"I figured it was my turn. We're both always here for each other. That's just the way it is from now on."

"That's the only way I'd want it to be." They stood there in a hospital corridor embracing each other, not caring who passed by.

"Get a room would'ya. I mean, come on, sick people around."

Reluctantly pulling apart, Hotch said, "Sean. What are you doing out here? Where are the kids?"

"Ma wanted some alone time with the munchkins. Thought I'd help you with the food. Seems like you might need it. I don't see any food unless swapping spit constitutes a meal now. I could get behind that."

"We were filling some paperwork out." Hotch explained.

"Together? It's a two person job?"

"It is when there's kissing involved." Emily teased.

"That's my kind of paperwork." He laughed. "You do what you got to do. I'm going to grab us all some dinner and I'll meet you in the room."

"Thanks Sean." Emily said.

"He's being too nice."

"He probably just feels bad about scaring you."

"Maybe." He let her comfort him. It was something Emily welcomed. He was different than her in that way. They both may push people away, especially in times of need and feelings, but he was less resistant, at least now, to her offers of comfort.

"Hey, so I was thinking that I could go to your mother's house and get it ready for her."

"Get it ready?" He questioned.

"Yeah, she'll be sore for a while and moving around will be hard. So I can clean up anything that needs cleaning, make it easier for her to get around. That kind of thing."

"Are you sure? I don't want you to feel like you have to. I can take care of it and you can stay here with the kids."

"No." She took his hand. "I want to do this. You spend time with everyone. You don't see your mother every day. Just give me the address and I'll find my way there."

"Ok." He agreed.

"Ok, so I'll be back soon. Call me if you need me."

"No, _you_ call me if you need me. I'll speed right over."

"I'll be fine."

"Don't get lost."

"Have GPS, will arrive at destination." She mimicked the robotic computer voice.

"That may have been the sexiest robot voice I've ever heard." He pulled her to him. "Alright, kiss me and then call me when you get there."

"Sir," she kissed him, "Yes, sir."

Back in the room the kids were playing cards with grandma. "Got any 3s?"

"Go fish." Charlie said. "How come mommy and daddy are taking so long? I'm hungry."

"They're probably kissing again. They do that a lot." Jack told her before asking for some Jacks. "Like my name." He joked when he asked.

"Oh really…" It brought a smile to the old woman's face. "How much is a lot?"

"A lot, a lot." Charlie said exasperatedly. "And hold hands. It's weird. They're weird. Daddy has his own room too. I even put my drawings in there for him."

Inside she was swooning. She had to admit, given the circumstances, she had some reservations about Emily's character. How could she not? But she saw the daughter she raised and how amazing she was, and how happy the two of them made her son. And that as all she needed. That was what pushed all the reservations away. "They love each other." She told them.

"They say it _all_ the time."

"And we do stuff together every weekend. That's fun."

"Mmhmm. Mommy says they're family dates. Because Jack is my brother. Even though my mom is mine and his mom is his, daddy is both of ours, so he's my brother. Did you know that Grandma?"

"I did sweets. I did." Seeing them together was the best. She had everything she wanted. Now if only her other son would settle down and Aaron would make things official. She was still a little old fashioned.

"Do you see daddy a lot Charlie?" She still needed to make sure her son was doing his duty for both his children.

"Sometimes he comes home from work with mommy."

"Really?"

"Mommy lets me help her cook and he comes to eat with us."

"That's not fair." Jack added. "I never get to see dad."

"Because he works so much and you don't live with us." She responded. Helen was watching a little taken back. She may have opened a small can of worms.

"No, I live with my mom, where dad used to live." They could feel the small hankering of resentment. Smart as a whip, but there was no way he could just understand that sometimes marriage didn't work out.

"Don't be sad Jack." Ignoring there was anyone else in the room, the two focused solely on each other. "Daddy loves you and I love you and grandma loves you. And my mommy and your mommy. And you could move in with us. Mommy would say ok."

"No, I can't because I want my mom too."

"She can live with us too." Helen tried not to laugh. A child's thought process was something else. "Then I won't miss you when you're not there and you won't miss your mom either."

"Ok kids. Let's not go making moving plans just yet. Your father loves you both very much, it doesn't matter where he is or who he's with, he loves you equally."

"I know." They said at the same time. And that was her cue to move back to safer topics. "So, you kids have any Kings?"

"Go fish."

Aaron returned to the room with Sean and food as they were finishing a gin rummy tutorial. "Dad, grandma taught us how to play." Jack told him excitedly.

"That's awesome Jack. Now we can all play."

"Does Emily know how to play?"

"I don't know. We'd have to ask her." Jack and Charlie both looked around, expecting to see Emily right behind him.

"Where's mommy?"

"She's running an errand. She'll be back soon."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure Charlie. Now, come on. Uncle Sean and I brought food. Mom, I got you your favorite broccoli and cheddar soup and turkey Panini from that little shop down the street."

"Oh, you are such a good boy! Thank you Aaron. I was so sick of this hospital garbage and it has only been one day."

"What about me ma? I'm a good boy too." Sean looked for validation.

"You are son, you are." She appeased her baby boy.

The family ate together and Emily still hadn't returned, but she sent Hotch a text to let him know she wouldn't be much longer. She'd be just in time to help him take his mother home. Charlie and Jack just slipped into the bathroom to wash their hands and cleanup and Hotch used that to his advantage.

"Mom, Emily and I talked, and we'd like to stay the weekend and help you out if you're ok with that."

"Oh Aaron, you don't have to."

"I know I don't, but I want to. And I know Sean needs to get back to his restaurant. This way one of us is with you for a few days. Emily is booking a hotel room for her and the kids can either stay at the house with me or spend the night with her."

"Nonsense!" She bellowed. "You'll all stay with me. There's plenty of room and I won't stand for it any other way."

"Ok." He wasn't going to argue. He wanted Emily beside him too. "I'll tell Emily when she gets back."

"Where did she go anyway?"

"She just needed to take care of a few things. She's on her way back now. And the doctor said you can be discharged when the nurse comes back with the last of the papers."

Sure enough, Emily was back just as they were helping Helen into the wheelchair. She had a walker to help her out until the hip was healed, but it was hospital policy for the wheelchair exit. "Oh Emily, you're back. Just in time."

"Mommy!" She never got tired of that greeting.

"Hey baby."

"We're taking grandma home!"

"Yes we are." She hugged her. "I parked the car as close to the entrance as I could. I figured once I knew we were leaving I'd pull around to the doors."

"I'll take care of that." Hotch said. "Can you and Sean handle getting everyone down?"

"I think we can handle it." She looked to Sean as if asking, 'right?' and received a nod.

"Great."

There was some small talk amongst the group as they made their way down, but, for the most part, Emily was remaining passive. She felt somewhat intimidated and embarrassed. It was easy to interact with Helen before; before she knew about Charlie and her less than forthcoming ways, before what she could only imagine to be a character assassination and shot credibility took the place of whatever image the woman first formed. But now, it was harder. She felt like a small child sent to the principal's office all the time.

Still, she pushed it aside as best she could and went on with everything. The woman, so unlike herself, had no problem accepting help, not once; not to get into the car or into the house. Emily envied that. She couldn't do it, didn't know how.

"Aaron, what is all this?" She asked as he helped her into bed. There were all sorts of things around the house, a seat in the shower, a chair lift on the stairs… everything she could possibly need to ease her maneuvering. "My house is so clean."

"Are you ok with everything?"

"It's great Aaron, but when did you find time to do this? You barely left my side."

"Oh… I didn't. It was Emily's idea. She wanted to make sure you were safe and comfortable. She even called the nursing service. A few candidates will be coming by tomorrow for you to interview. Whichever you like will stop by during the day and be on call whenever you need her… or him."

"Aaron, that's too much. She didn't need to do all that. I'm really ok."

"We know. But the doctor said you need rest and that you'll be in pain for a while. So, the nurse will be able to help you out and make sure you take your meds… Just until the doctor says you're free to move about as you please. And mom, Emily wanted to do this. It's not too much. We just want you to be taken care of. It will give us peace of mind when we need to head back home."

"So, you two are an item now, going steady?"

"Yeah mom," he laughed, "we're going steady."

"Oh, my boy. I'm so happy for you."

"Thanks mom."

"Just make sure she knows she is welcome here."

"She knows." Helen wasn't so sure of that.

Emily cooked them all dinner later that afternoon. They thought they'd bring dinner to Helen, but the matriarch insisted they all eat at the table. "Call me old fashioned, but that's how we eat in this house, at the table, no phones or electronics allowed." No one dared argue. After dinner, Emily did all the cleanup and set the kids up with some toys and books she picked up at the store earlier that day. Hotch was with his mother and brother. Helen told Sean he didn't need to stay. She knew he had work and since Aaron and his family would be there for another day and a nurse after that, he could go.

"If you ever call and leave a message like that, I just might kill you."

"It wasn't really that bad, was it?"

"Sean… If it wasn't bad enough that you actually tried calling that many times in a row and bothered to leave a message, your voice was frantic. You said mom was in the hospital, that I needed to get there right away, you didn't know how much time she had."

"I didn't say that, did I?"

"Sean!" Helen scolded. "If I was up on my feet, I'd take you over my knee just like when you were a boy. My little troublemaker." She shook her head. "I'm sorry Aaron. You know your brother. He always had that flair for dramatics. He _won't_ do anything like that again." Her pointed glare told Sean that was definitely true. "Now, hug your brother goodbye, give me some love, and then go catch your plane."

Hotch and Sean exchanged a few last words before the younger brother said goodbye to his mother. Helen, had one thing to say before he left though. "I'm proud of all you've done Sean. You've come a long way. I'm so proud of both my boys and I am so thankful you were both willing to just stop your lives to come see me."

"We love you mom." The boys agreed.

Sean left for the airport as Emily was putting the kids to bed. They both cozied up in Sean's old room and enjoyed one story before passing out. It had been an eventful day for the lot of them. Emily turned off the lights and closed the door almost all the way behind her. She was tired. She nearly fell asleep with the kids, and she wasn't done.

"Can I come in?" She knocked on the elder Hotchner's door.

"Of course Emily."

"Hi Helen, I bought you a few comfortable pajama and loungewear sets. I thought that might be better, looser material than jeans or whatever on your hip. I've had my fair share of bruising and these seems to be the least restrictive. They won't hurt if they rub against it."

"Thank you dear."

"Do you have a color preference? I tried to stay neutral, nothing to loud. Black? Beige, blue?" She held up a few choices.

"The grey one is perfect, thank you."

"Do you need help changing or with anything?"

"I think I can manage, but I'll holler if I need you."

"Ok, great."

She didn't know what to do next. Did she leave? Was she really going to stay there? Was there time for doubts? She did cancel her room. "Something on your mind dear?"

"Oh… Uh… I just wanted to check with you. Are you sure you wouldn't be more comfortable with me staying at a hotel? I don't want to intrude."

"You're not intruding dear."

"Are you sure?"

Helen, looking at Emily sternly, simply said, "Sit down." Emily was to afraid not to listen. "I have a bone to pick with you young lady." Helen started. This was one of the few times the two women were alone. Emily zipped her lips shut and sat ready to listen. "You've been avoiding me."

"I haven't, I assure you." Even she couldn't tell if she was lying. Was she? Had she been avoiding? She liked to think of it as giving them space…

"You barely said two words to me and never participated in any family conversations."

"Oh… well… I just thought those were… better left for the family."

Helen's eyes wrinkled as she inspected Emily. "I've heard stories about you."

"Oh god… I can only imagine…" She suddenly felt shy.

"Emily Prentiss."

"That's me." Was it hot in there? Emily suddenly felt an inferno encasing her. Sweat was beading at her brow. Facing mama Hotchner on her own was hard.

"You nearly died this year."

"I did…"

"But you came back."

"I am still here. Yes."

"And you've captured my family's heart."

"I don't know about that."

"But I do." Comforting as only a maternal figure could be, Helen put her hand on Emily's. "I can't say I don't have qualms about how you've handled things. I mean… Keeping that little girl from her father, from my son and our family; it breaks my heart."

"Helen…" She wanted to explain, again, but she didn't even know where to begin.

"No, let me speak." She complied, and stayed silent. "It breaks my heart, but it's done. I have to believe you did it for good reasons, because you felt you had to or whatever. I know we can convince ourselves of so many things that seem right at the time… You raised a good girl Emily. My granddaughter. And I commend the job you've done. But now we're all in her life, and I'm so incredibly happy to have her as part of my family, to have both of you as my family. So, I'm going to let bygones be bygones. What happened has happened and while I wish it hadn't, wishing is what wishing does, nothing. All I know is that I love Charlie, and I know my son loves you. So you're family. I want you here. I want to get to know the woman that has my son so enamored and who raised such a well-mannered, precocious little girl, the woman who even has my lothario of a youngest wanting to start to settle his life. I want to get to know you."

"I – I want that too…"

"Good. Now, I have a question for you."

"Ok…"

"What are your intentions with my son, with each other?"

"I… Umm we…" Was it a test? Was there a right way to answer?

"You're so flustered."

"I just… I'm not sure how to answer. I've never… No one ever bothered to care."

"Well I do care. And I have had a similar conversation with my son. So I'd like to know, what are your intentions? Where do you see things going with him?"

"I…" She smiled shyly, turning her head down and away. "I see so many things for us, things I… I haven't let myself see before. And I hope they all happen."

"You love him?"

"Yes, so much."

"And you see a future with him?"

"I do."

"Ok… and, one more thing."

"Yeah?" Emily halted, waiting to get up.

"I know what it's like to be let down by the people you're supposed to depend on, but you don't have to do everything alone. You don't have to be so guarded, not with me, or him, or any of the people who love you."

Emily was confused. "I'm – I'm not."

"Maybe not right now, but you have, and you will again. I see that my boy is an anchor for you and you for him, but you're still closed off. You're worried that you'll come to rely on him only to be let down again. I can't promise that won't happen. I sure hope it doesn't. But, what I'm trying to say, and take it from someone who has been there, this world is too hard to face it alone. Asking for help doesn't make you weak or dependent. I am an independent woman. It took me a long time to get here, and a hell of a lot of mistakes, but I got there, and I'm not willing to give that up. But sweetie, we all need the help of others. Even the most independent of us all. Including you."

"I know." She agreed. "Helen, not that I don't appreciate the wisdom that I will be sure to take to heart, but why are you telling me this?"

"Because I've heard stories about you. I know you enough to know you don't know how to lean on others, especially not when you need to. You did a great job all on your own. But now you have a family. Consider it some motherly advice from your future mother in law."

"Mother in law?" She definitely didn't hate the sound of that…

"Oh yes, that's what I'll be someday. I know. A mother knows."

"If you say so." She hoped so, both women did.

"If I know anything, I know my boys." She winks at Emily. "Now, I think we all need to get to bed. You look exhausted hon."

"Oh… Ok. Umm… Thanks for the talk?" Was that the right thing to say? "Let me grab you meds for you while you change."

"That would be great."

Helen was changed and settled again when Emily returned. "Get some rest Emily. Thank you for all you've done."

"No thanks needed. Goodnight Helen."

"Goodnight Emily."

Taking her first real breath since that phone call from Sean, Emily headed toward her room for the night. "Great." She spoke aloud to the empty room as she went through the bag she packed. "Just great."

"Talking to yourself? That's not a good sign. "Hey. What's wrong?" He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. He could feel how tense she was.

"I packed everything Charlie could possibly need, even got a few things for you and Jack that I thought we might've forgotten when I went to the store earlier."

"Ok…"

"But all I managed to grab for me is one pair of underwear and socks." She laughed at herself. "I'm going to have to sleep in these clothes."

"You could sleep in your underwear. I'll keep you warm."

"Absolutely not an option." As much as she would like it to be. She could use some Hotch lovin'.

"Why not? We'll lock the door."

"Aaron." She chided.

"Ok, ok." He walked over to his bag, pulled something out and handed it to her. "Here, wear this. We can worry about finding something for you to change into tomorrow, maybe mom has something suitable, but this should work for tonight."

She slipped out of her clothes, his eyes never leaving her body, pulled the shirt over her head, and then just fell onto the bed. "You look tired, absolutely breathtakingly beautifully tired…"

"Mmm, I am." He snuck into bed behind her, spooning into her as he pulled the blanket over them. Her eyes were fluttering closed as his hand gently stroked her body.

"I love you." He told her, his hand resting on her hip, just above her underwear's waistband.

"Love you too…" As his hand moved lower, and he kissed her neck, she swatted him away. "Hey, no funny business Mister. Your mom's down the hall."

"So?"

"So what if she hears?"

"I can be quiet."

"Aaron, I like your mom."

"That's a mood killer."

"And I want her to like me."

"She already does."

"Ok, and I'd like to keep it that way. She doesn't need to think I'm corrupting her pride and joy."

"I think she knows I have sex Emily, and that I've had sex with you."

"Yeah, but she doesn't need to bear witness. So, tonight, let's just sleep… and cuddle. Cuddling's a must. And when we get back home, we'll have some us time."

"Ok." He reluctantly agreed. He couldn't help it though. She was his, and since that became a known fact, he just couldn't get enough of her. "No naked bed dance."

"As fun as that sounds, not tonight." Secure in his arms, his hand resting on her stomach, they fell into an easy sleep. Morning came much too quickly for Hotch though. Not usually the late riser, he felt like he could stay in bed forever with Emily by his side. But there she was moving around and disturbing the peace. "Mmm Em, I thought you said no bed dance." He grumbled, still half asleep, stuck in a less than PG dream. "I'm all for it, but you said…"

"Daddy?"

"You're going to call me daddy now? Ok mommy."

"Daddy?! Why are you being silly?"

"Charlie?" He jumped up. "Hey, hi, good morning." He said and through a pillow over his lap. Damn mornings. _Damn dreams_…

"Why were you talking to mommy? She's not here."

"I… was dreaming…"

"About dancing in bed? Your dreams are funny dad." Oh, he was thanking the heavens that she didn't put two and two together that one time.

"Yeah… Where's mommy?"

"Downstairs. She said it's still early so I should let you sleep, but I wanted you to wake up. So I woke you up, just like I woke up Jack."

"Ok, why don't you give me a minute, and then we'll go see what they're up to?"

"Ok. Hurry."

Hotch did hurry, and then carried her, piggy back, down the stairs. He stopped short of the kitchen watching from the archway. Emily and Jack looked so natural together. Obviously, it wasn't the first time they were together, but it was… Maybe it was just something about being in his mother's house, his childhood home, but she just seemed so… so perfectly maternal and natural with his son. He loved it.

Emily woke up early that morning to get dressed before anyone could see her in her underwear, draped only with Hotch's shirt, and to make breakfast for everyone before Helen woke and insisted on being up on her feet doing it for herself. Charlie, the little sneak, was in the bed with them, a third person locked in their little spoon, and when Emily stirred, so did she.

"You can't move, you're my comfy mommy."

"I'm your comfy mommy?" She felt her daughter's head nod. "Ok, well this comfy mommy needs to go to the bathroom and get dressed. What are you even doing up?"

"I was sleeping and then I heard a noise and Jack was sleeping, so I came in here."

"Why didn't you wake me up?"

"Because I wanted to stay in here with you and daddy. I thought you had your own room, but you didn't and I wanted to sleep here too."

"Alright. I'm going to get up, but you can stay here and sleep some more."

"No, I'm up too. I'm up."

"Great you can be my little helper."

What Emily didn't know, was that as soon as the bathroom door closed, Charlie ran into the room she shared with Jack and jumped on top of him. "Jack! My mommy's cooking. Let's go be her helpers!"

Good sport he was, after a swat or two at her hands, trying to get her off of him and to stop her pokes, he did get up and join them. For a while, the three of them gathered all the ingredients and began a production line of food prep. Charlie disappeared at some point, unknowingly to Emily, going off to wake her father and leaving Emily and Jack to themselves.

"Looks like it's just you and me kid."

"That's ok. I can use some Emily time."

"You can huh? Well, in that case, extra chocolate chips for you, payment for Jack time." She smiled.

Together, they made the batter, chopped up all the add ins, and were ready to cook. That was the scene Hotch walked in on. Emily was teaching his son how to flip a pancake only using the pan. No spatula required.

"Can I try?"

"Let's do it together. Ok?"

"Ok." She put his hand on the handle, hers on top of his, and together, they flipped it over. "I did it!"

"You did! Nice job." Hotch and Charlie clapped for them at the door.

"I want to try!" Charlie jumped off her father and ran over to them. "Can I?"

"Not today Charlie Bear." Emily said. "You have to be at least this high." She put her hand level at Jack's height.

"That's not fair!"

Of course it wasn't. They got passed her momentary tantrum, her rant about how if Jack could do it she should be able to do it too. She even through in a, "You're my mommy, not his!" That was her good measure.

When Emily suggested Hotch take her to go check on grandma, the hysterics seemed to stop. Jack just stood next to Emily, minding his own business, shaking his head. "Women." He muttered.

She found him utterly adorable. He was so his father's son, and that made her love him more. So, she ran her fingers through his sandy locks, told him to get used to it, he'd be around women all his life, and had him go set the table. Everything was ready when Helen joined them at the table, a little help from her son.

They were an interesting group, so alike yet all so different too. Helen really seemed like a matriarch, the vulnerable, yet seemingly indestructible mother head of the family. It was something Emily wanted to be, something she didn't even realize she already was. That was how others saw her too, in some ways. She just didn't really give herself enough credit.

"You're not eating." Hotch said quietly to Emily, a statement, but a question.

"I am. I'm just… I'm glad we got to spend some time with your mom. It was nice and I like her." She was a lot like the Ambassador, Emily realized, only warmer. She was like her own mother, but showed the sides Elizabeth never would.

"I'm glad too." He placed his hand atop hers and squeezed.

The trip that brought them there was not a good one. They flew out expecting, fearing, the worst, but Sean's inconsiderate dramatics brought them to a good place. It forced them to do something Hotch really wanted them to do and meet with his mother, have Emily meet with her as a significant other; a meet the family of sorts.

So it was shaping up to be a good trip that started wrong.

Breakfast was soon over. The kids were keeping Helen company as the agents did the dishes. Hotch wasn't helping all that much though, more like flirting with Emily, standing behind her, hugging her. Emily wasn't complaining though. "I'm surprised she didn't say anything about our little sleep over." She said as they were finishing up.

"Why would she? I've been sleeping over a lot lately."

"Right, but she thinks you're sleeping in your own room. She calls one of the extra bedrooms daddy's room. She doesn't realize that you end up in my bed."

"She'll figure it out."

"Probably already did and is just waiting for a bigger more gossipy audience to say something."

"She is our little town crier."

"A little bit." Emily laughed.

He kissed her cheek. "I have to run out quickly. Can you handle the home front without me?"

"Yeah, I got it covered." She joked.

"Ok, I know you're strong but my mother's not supposed to be up and walking much right now and I don't want you hurting yourself. So if she needs to be moved, have her wait until I get back."

"And if she has to go to the bathroom." Her arms folded over her chest as she looked to him.

"Tell her to hold it." He offered with a smile.

"Nice, I'll be sure to tell her that."

"Please don't. I don't want to get spanked."

"Don't worry. I don't need my big boy to be punished. That's for me to take care of."

"Oh really, I like the sound of that."

"Just. You. Wait." She emphasized every word with a tap on his chest.

"Alright, none of that. I'll be back soon. Call if you need me and I'll rush back."

"Go, we'll be fine here."

Hotch ended up at the mall the next town over. He didn't want Emily to have to spend the day and the plane ride stuck in dirty clothes and wanted to surprise her with something nice and comfortable to wear. Problem was, he wasn't sure what was comfortable for a girl. "Excuse me." He stopped a fellow shopper who was perusing the clothes nearby.

"Hi." He knew that face, she thought he was flirting with her.

"Hi, uh, I was wondering if you could give me your opinion."

"Sure. What for?"

"I'm trying to find something nice and comfortable. What would that be?"

She eyed the clothes in his hand before looking to him curiously. "You don't strike me as one of the dress wearing fellows."

"What? Oh… no, these aren't for me… They're for Emily."

"Ok, so you got yourself a lucky lady then. Shucks. Are you looking for something in particular?"

"She's such a great woman that when we had to fly out here last minute for an emergency she thought of everyone but herself and packed nothing for her. So, I want to get her something nice that she'd like, but we're going to be traveling today with our kids so it needs to be comfortable too."

"Hmm, she's married to you," her assumption, his one day hope… "So, I'm assuming she has good tastes." Damn the flirting. Did she not care that he was married? Well, she thought he was and that didn't seem to matter.

"She does." He agreed. The woman asked him some basic questions about Emily's style, to which he answered in detail, probably more than needed.

"Hmm, quite the woman you got there."

"She is… She's Emily… The strongest, most thoughtful person I know…"

"Look at you, so in love…" The woman smiled at him. "Go with this." She handed him a pair of dark wash jeans and a nice blouse. "This sounds like something you described and it's comfortable. Do yourself a favor and get her something special, something to let her know how you feel."

"Uh… thanks…"

"Women act all tough and strong, and we are, stronger than the male species of course. No offense, but you're all a bunch of muscled wimps. All women really want is to be happy and to feel loved and secure. If you love someone, treat 'em right and don't let them go. Make sure you make her feel special."

"Funny, my mom told me the same thing."

"Sounds like we're both givin' ya some sound advice."

"Sounds like it. Thank you for your help ma'am."

"Jenna." She told him. "And you're welcome…" She let it hang so he could reciprocate the name.

"Aaron." He held out his hand to shake.

"Well, it was nice meeting you Aaron."

"You too Jenna, thanks." Before leaving the mall, a different kind of store caught his attention, calling his name. Yeah, there was bound to be something in there that would be nice for her and him too.

Emily was thrilled by his thoughtfulness. "You have no idea how badly I wanted to get out of these clothes. Thank you."

"I'm always thinking about you."

"Mmm, I like that." She hugged him.

"And, I got something else for you, for both of us… for when we get home."

"Hmm, what kind of something?"

"A little something, something, for my eyes only."

"Oh," she winked and nodded slyly, "a naughty kind of something, something." Her laugh was both cute and sexy. "Mr. Hotchner, I'm afraid we're going to have to do something with that depraved little mind of yours."

"And what's that?"

"I guess we'll just have to wait until we get some alone time to see. I hear we have some cuffs and a sexy little number to put to good use." At that point, she was leaned in really close, her body flush against his.

"God Emily, what are you doing to me?"

"Giving you a preview." She said playfully. "You know, of all the fun we're going to have."

He nibbled at her neck, his hand dipping under her hemline. "So much fun. I don't think I can wait."

"Well, you're going to have to. Let's go. We should spend time with your mother."

"Tease!" He said as she pulled away.

"You betchya! Come on, your mother's waiting."

"I'm going to get you back for this!" He promised.

"I'll let you cuff me first." She said as she ran out the door, a sultry and playful smile on her face.

Not much later, the family was setting up for their leave. After getting Helen acquainted with the nurse of her choosing, the family spent the day in each other's company. It was stupid, silly fun, but it was their fun, their precious memories. The parents realized they were giving their kids memories they didn't often build as children. And that spread a warmth through them. It made them feel closer to each other and closer to being the family they felt they were.

"I love your mother." Emily told him.

"You only love her because she just finished telling about a dozen embarrassing stories about me that you know you can use to your advantage later." He pouted.

"Oh, that's so cute." Her finger traced the edge of his mouth. "But it's even cuter that you think I need leverage over you."

"I know you don't." He half frowned, knowing she had him wrapped around her finger, willing to anything he was able upon her request. Truth be told, he had her hooked too.

Before they knew it, it was time to get going. They made sure everything was ready for Helen, emergency numbers were programmed on her phone, including Garcia's just in case they were away on a case. And Emily made sure to add hers so that they could communicate, really, so she could communicate with Charlie, and if Helen wanted to bend her ear, she wouldn't be opposed. All the safety precautions were set up around the house and everything was ready.

Helen pulled Emily aside as the family was getting ready to leave.

"Take care of my boy, ok? Both of them."

"I promise."

"And welcome to the family Emily Prentiss."

"Thank you…" The woman had no idea what that welcome meant to her, no clue at all.

"Just remember, you hurt him, and I will hurt you." She gave the young woman a playful, yet very serious look. "And if he hurts you, you come to me and I'll set my boy straight. We're all family now, and family sticks together."

"I don't think you have anything to worry about. You raised a great man Helen."

"Thank you."

"No, thank you."

Hotch snuck in as he saw them hugging and told Emily that all the stuff was in the car, they just had to get the kids in and they were ready to go.

"Be good to each other." She gave them both a group hug. "And Emily, remember what I said."

"I will ma'am… Helen."

Emily went to the car with the kids after they gave grandma some love, leaving Hotch alone with his mother. "It was nice spending some more time with you. I wish it didn't have to be because you were in the hospital. But, I'm glad Emily got to meet you like this."

"We've met before."

"I mean, meet her as my girlfriend… as Charlie's mom, not just as my coworker."

"She was always more than just a coworker." She smiled. "It was nice. I like her."

"Me too."

"I noticed." She said. The two had a very short, yet powerful talk before his parting. It ended with her hand in his, passing something between them.

"Mom… Are you sure?" He asked with awe.

"A mother knows. A mother always knows."

"Thank you… I know what… Just thank you."

"She's a good one Aaron. I can see you've been through a lot, as individuals and as a pair, but you've come through it together. And you will still face so much, up and down, but you can get through all that too. Be happy."

"I will. You be happy too mom."

Together in the car, all buckled and ready, they felt so prepared for what the next adventure had is store for them.

**I couldn't kill off Helen. I was thinking about it, but I knew I wouldn't. And I didn't want to give her an injury that would require more attention and time to heal because Hotch, I feel, would've stayed with her if it was any more serious than it was. And well, that would certainly blow the final chapter off course. **

**ONE MORE CHAPTER LEFT! I'm kind of excited because the sequel, I think has a really good story line. And if you realized anything about me and my writing, I like to make conflict and work the characters through it. Sometimes that means backing them (and myself) into a corner and finding a way out of it. I like the challenge. The story line is actually what I've been trying to get to this whole story, but I just went a different, longer direction which I loved just as much. **

**Any who, I have a few big tests to study for and papers to write. I'm hoping I can post the next chapter before Thanksgiving, but I'm debating if I want to wait until I have, at least, the first chapter of the sequel written. We shall see. Until then, HAPPY HALLOWEEN! **

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until next time…**

**Jahariskipper**** Thank you. Coffee has definitely become my friend; my Keurig is put to good use. I actually go through caffeine withdrawals. The things we do to get through college huh? Good times. So glad you liked the chapter, hope this one's to your liking too. **

**123a456e**** Sorry I didn't update as quickly as possible, though, it really was a soon as I possibly could. Hope it's satisfactory. Hotch's mother's fate is revealed. I'm not cruel to her. **

**WriterM19**** Thanks. All good things must come to an end, but the next one will follow it up pretty quickly. I'm excited for it, glad to know you are too. The Garcia and Charlie scene was so much fun to write. Kids (and Garcia's kind of like a big kid with adult knowledge) tend to walk in at the wrong time or overhear things they shouldn't, so I wanted to throw that in there. It keeps things interesting. **

**D**** Aw, thanks. I loved writing the bed dance bit. Kids are hilarious and writing that is so much fun. I'm so glad the humor shines through because sometimes it just doesn't translate to the page. Enjoy this one. **

**Maxi**** That's nice to hear. Most people who write Hotch and Emily (in a story that includes those other characters) make Clyde and Haley bad guys, but I love Clyde and I didn't want Haley to get between the characters. I'm glad I could get you to see them differently. **

**SouthunLady**** Thank you! I loved that scene so much. And I wanted the team part to play out realistically with some conflict and drama, but with the supportive friends winning out because that's the group. That's the way they are. **

**rmpcmfan**** Charlie sure is a persistent little girl. It's not a bad quality to have, could get her into some trouble at times. But that's kids for ya. They are stubbornly persistent. As for Hotch's mom, well this new chapter shows all so, no need to clarify how that turns out. **

**Lktwh13**** I'm glad you've caught up and like what I've done with the story. I'm pretty psyched for the sequel too. If people liked this story, I know they'll like the follow up. I have plans for that that I really like and I hope all who choose to read do too. A little drama never hurts (mostly). **

**Guest ****It is a little sad that there's only one more chapter. But think of it as a good sad. It means we're onto the next stage of the Hotly ride. **

**KJ**** Thank you so much. Hope you weren't waiting too long for the update. I really did try to have it up sooner, but life happens. Enjoy this one. **


	45. The Next Chapter

_I do not own Criminal Minds, only the characters I have created in that world._

**This is it! The final chapter! It's long and packed and I kind of love it. It took a while because I wanted it to be as close to perfect as I could get it. Maybe it's not there, but I'm proud of it anyway. I hope you all are too. A belated Happy Thanksgiving to the Americans out there. Hope you had a great time.**

**Chapter 45: The Next Chapter**

Summer was rapidly coming to a close. Soon, it would be Labor Day, the kids would be back in school and days would become more routine and less of the spontaneous day trips and family outings. The quatrain they became was like a well-oiled machine. Haley was being more than generous too. She allowed Jack to spend the week with Hotch, which turned into a camping trip for the four of them, unconventional as it was.

"When are we going dad?" Jack asked as he and Charlie restlessly waited by the car. "You're taking forever."

"Forever!" Charlie parroted.

"Relax please. Emily is almost ready. She is trying to find the marshmallows you both wanted."

"For s'mores!" Charlie smiled.

"Can't we just buy more?"

"We could, but Emily is already looking."

"Found them!" Emily came racing out of the house. "We can go."

"About time." Jack huffed, Charlie nodding.

"Hey Jack, watch it, or you don't get any."

"Let's just go. I want to play in the water!"

"Someone's cranky." Emily whispered to Hotch as the kids hopped in the back seat.

"Yeah, he's excited and woke up way too early. I think he needs a nap."

"Well, we have everything. Let's get on the road and hopefully they both nap on the way there."

"I'm driving."

"Ok Mr. Control Freak."

"Says Mrs. Control Freak."

"Oh, we're married are we?"

"We could be." It was said in a moment of jest, Emily wasn't sure if she should take it seriously. Was he saying he wanted to marry her? Clearly it wasn't a proposal, but was it a serious thing, like he was considering a proposal. It wasn't like they never talked about it.

"We could be. But, first we need to get on the road."

He was thankful for the diversion. He meant what he said, they could be married someday, but that day wasn't today. "I'm still driving."

"I'm not arguing commander. Go on and lead the brigade."

The family's drive to the campground took only a half an hour, but the closer they got, the darker the sky seemed. "Does it look like rain to you?" Emily asked.

"Looks pretty dark. I hope it doesn't rain though. They'd be devastated if we had to cancel this."

"Are you afraid of a little rain Mr. Hotchner?"

"Absolutely not. But how safe is it to sleep in a tent with metal poles if it's storming?"

"If it comes to that, we'll figure something out to make this weekend the best we can. It'll be great."

"I've never known you to be the optimist."

"Sure you have. I'm just realistically optimistic."

"And that's not pessimistic at all."

"You can't talk. You're worse than me."

"I'm not."

"You are dad." Jack said from the backseat, waking from his nap.

"Nice, now you've got my son on your side." He teased her.

"Are we almost there?"

"Yeah Jack, look over there." Emily pointed out of the window to a campground full of trees and foliage. "Why don't you wake your sister? We'll be there in a minute."

The winds were starting up as they were putting the tent together, but they were determined to make the best of it. Hotch and Jack went off to collect some sticks for the fire as Emily and Charlie made up the sleeping quarters. "I'm going to sleep here." She declared, placing her polka dot sleeping bag right in the middle of the tent.

"Where does everyone else go?"

"Jack can sleep next to me and daddy can sleep next to me and you can sleep next to me too."

"I don't think you have enough sides for that to work out."

"But I want to sleep next to everyone."

"We can figure it out later. For now, let's just put you on this side," she slid Charlie's bag to the right side. "I'll go right here next to you. Daddy next to me, and Jack next to him."

"Why?"

"Well, this way if you wake up and have to go to the bathroom, I can go with you. And if Jack does, daddy can go with him."

"I guess." She said cheekily.

"Ok guessing bug, let's go meet the boys."

"And make s'mores?"

"Yeah, we'll try to make some. Promise."

Hotch gave a boy scout like tutorial on how to start a camp fire as the kids hung on to every word. Emily teased him about it later, telling him he missed his calling. "You should've been a troop leader." She said. They all managed to get their hot dogs cooked over the fire and were just about to start their dessert when the rain started. They really had no luck with that.

They rushed the kids inside the tent and away from the water. "What are we supposed to do now?!" Charlie pouted.

The adults were going to do all they could to make it a great trip. Rain or no rain, if they were together, they could make it fun. So, Emily broke out the cards and flashlights setting up the lanterns inside to give them light. After a few rounds of cards and some oddly fashioned s'mores, the kids were growing as restless as the sky was going dark.

Deciding to go with campfire tradition, Emily flicked off the lantern, turned the flashlight up to her face, and asked with a deep, hoarse voice, "Who's ready for a ghost story?"

"Me! Me!" The kids yelled.

They went easy on the kids, nothing too extreme or gory, just enough to have them a little freaked out, enough to have them cuddling around bed time. "Now tell a happy story so I can sleep mommy."

"Hmm, ok. I think I have one. I'm going to need daddy's help though."

"Will you help daddy?"

"Please dad?"

"Ok, ok. I'll help."

"Ok… Once upon a time in a land far away, up in the woods lived a family."

"A family different than a normal family, but better still."

"Different because it was so big and grand and filled with so many different people. Aunts, uncles, friends, brothers and sisters… It was like a whole town in one family."

"And they were happy."

"Really happy." Emily continued. "There was a mom and a dad."

"A daughter and a son."

"And though the son didn't have the same mom as the girl, they all loved him just the same. They all did because he was special to all of them."

They continued the fairytaled version of their life until both kids fell asleep huddled in between the adults. "I've got him." Emily said as she nodded to Jack who was leaning into her side. She pulled him into her arms and slipped him into his super hero sleeping bag. Hotch did the same with Charlie before meeting Emily in the middle.

"Sounds like the rain died down."

"Want to check?"

He nodded and undid the door's zipper. "After you." It was still damp out, a mild drizzle falling from the leaves, but it really had died down. "It's nice out here in the woods."

"It is… I must admit, I prefer staying in the French Alps to this, though."

"You're not into roughing it? Would've never guessed."

"Oh Hotch, you haven't seen me roughing it. My grandfather's cabin used to be electricity free, completely self-sufficient. Even updated, it runs on a solar generator and a whole lot of other things I wouldn't know how to explain. Running water was from a well he built and a water cleaning contraption he put together. Before that, though, it was just a nice shelter in the middle of the wild until he recruited me every summer to help him build things."

"But you loved it up there, didn't you?"

"I did. I still do. It's so peaceful there. Maybe next time we're in France and actually get around to seeing France, we can spend a few days there."

"So there's a next time?"

"Bank on it."

"With or without kids?"

"Maybe we'll make it an adult only escape. We can leave them back at the estate with mother."

"Assuming she's still posted there." He told her. "Speaking of, you said you were going to tell her about us, about Charlie and us…"

"I know. I called her last week. I didn't want to do it over the phone, so I invited her to come stay with us for a few days. She can't stay the whole week, but she'll be here next Thursday and leaves Tuesday after Labor Day."

"So… you do realize both our mothers and the entire team will all be in the same place at the same time."

"God help us." She laughed. "I hope it doesn't rain tomorrow. I want the kids to be able to play in the water. We can take them fishing."

"I'd love to get them on a boat for that. We have a real knack for picking days to do things outside."

"I know. In our defense, the forecast called for clear skies, chance of showers in the early morning. In the early morning, we were at work and skies were clear."

"I think they're having fun anyway. They loved the story."

"Oh you mean Arina and Emmett? They make a cute fairytale, don't they?"

"You mean, a great love story. They're no fairytale."

"I can agree to that." She nudged him and smiled. "I kind of like Emmett."

"Really? I kind of like Arina."

"Maybe she kind of likes you too."

"Just likes?"

"Loves."

"It's mutual."

Not ready for bed just yet, the duo sat on a dry patch of rocks under a nearby tree, never straying far from the tent. It was funny actually, two of the bureau's least likely to vacation were on yet another trip. It was different though. The two would usually, separately, take their kid on day trips and maybe a weekend here or there just to have some quality time together, but it was different. Now, as a family united, they couldn't get enough time away together. It wasn't that they were satisfied with the limited time before, just that it felt even more precious when they could actually work it out to all be together. If they really gave it more thought, they would see that at work, when they stayed that extra hour or came in a little early, it was usually when they were going home to an empty house and at work it would be the two of them. Even if they didn't converse or interact at all, they were near each other, and, instinctually, that was what they were drawn to. Now they were together and didn't have to find excuses to just be in the same room, they were just comfortable being there.

"Since I know our children well enough to know that we'll be up at the crack of dawn, we should get some sleep."

"Ladies first."

"Doesn't that mean you should go first?" Emily joked.

"Oh, nice." He had a faux wounded look on his face.

"You love me."

"I do. Now, get in there."

"Yes sir!"

"You're cute when you do that."

"Then you must love me when we're at work."

"It doesn't really matter where we are."

"You've gotten better at the sweet talking." She told him as she climbed into the tent.

The two settled into their spots in the middle, their sleeping bags pulled as close together as they could be. Charlie and Jack somehow found their way to their sides too, a family huddle. Charlie woke up in the middle of the night, shaking Emily. "Mommy, wake up."

"Hmmm, what is it Charlie?"

"I have to go potty."

"Ok." She peeled herself from Hotch's hold. "Grab your flashlight." Emily took her hand and guided her a little into the woods.

"Why aren't we moving anymore mommy? I have to pee!"

"I know that's why we're here."

"In the woods?"

"Yeah."

"I have to pee in the woods?" She looked wide eyed at her mother, flashing the light at her face.

"Yeah." Emily wanted to laugh at her daughter's look, but controlled herself. The last thing she needed was a frustrated Charlie in the middle of the night.

"But I peed in that box thing before."

"The outhouse. And that was because we weren't that far away from it. But it's dark and we can't walk all the way over there. I promise, it's ok to go here."

"But I don't want to."

"If you need to go, you will."

"I can hold it." She said confidently, a look of determination.

"I don't think so." Emily said. Charlie just nodded. "No, you can't."

"Yes."

"Why won't you pee Charlie?"

"I don't want to kill the trees. Then where will the birdies live?"

"Who said that would kill the trees?"

"Jack said that it's like poison and it will go in the ground and kill the trees and then go in the water. I don't want to drink pee mommy!" She couldn't help herself after that and just busted out laughing. "It's not funny!"

"Yes it is. Charlie, I promise you the birdies will still have a place to live and we won't be drinking it."

"I don't have to go!"

"You're doing your potty dance."

"Am not!"

"Would it make you feel better if I went first?" Charlie nodded. Emily told her to stay still and not move as she went behind a bush to set an example. She could see it already, "mother of the year sets example with bonding pee experience." Coming back, she asked, "Now can you go?"

"Fine, but if that tree dies you're in big trouble! Big trouble!"

"Ok, you can put me in time out."

When they get back to the tent, Hotch was stirring. "Where'd you go?" He asked Emily after she helped Charlie back into her sleeping bag.

"Your daughter had to pee and your son scared her out of peeing in the woods."

"That's what big brothers do."

"Should I feel bad for Sean?"

"Absolutely not."

"Ok."

"Did you get her to go?"

"Yes, eventually. But don't be surprised if she finds some excuse to put me in time out tomorrow. Once I say that's a possibility, she always tries to make it happen. I think she likes when I'm punished."

"Hmmm, yeah? Maybe she gets that from her dad." He winked and teased.

"Hotch! Little ears in here." She moved closer. "Save that kind of talk for later."

"What are you doing?" The adults jumped out of their skin. They hadn't realized Charlie snuck closer and moved between them.

"We're talking." Emily answered.

"You talk a lot. And snuggle a lot. Why?"

"Well, because we love each other."

"Very much. So we like to be with each other."

"Is that why you sleep in mommy's bed all the time?"

"Umm, yeah… I like to be around her."

"But you take up my snuggle room so I can't get in the middle next to mommy."

"I'm sorry?" He was in a sense, but he wasn't too; sorry for Charlie, but happy for some Emily time.

"Charlie Bear, let's talk about this in the morning ok? It's late."

"Ok." She moved in between them and laid down. "One more question?" She asked.

"Go for it."

"Does daddy live with us now?"

"Ummm… He stays with us a lot." Emily answered quickly. He wasn't technically living with them, but he spent a lot of time there. She gave him a drawer… well a room full of drawers to fill up with whatever he wanted.

"Why? Would that be bad?"

"No…" Charlie answered with a yawn, rolling onto her side, voice drifting. "I love daddy… and I'd see Jack more…"

Emily and Hotch found each other's eyes in the darkness and just connected for a minute. There were too many logistics in moving in together that they couldn't quite push out of the way right then and there, but it was something they'd both start considering after that point. So, Charlie between them, Jack right next to Hotch, the family got a great night's rest under the drying sky.

They were able to spend the next day out on the water. The kids loved the boat. They opted for a paddle boat so the kids felt more involved. They liked to help row the oars even though it didn't move them much. Jack even caught a fish. "I did it!" That thrilled him, but left Charlie with some contention.

"Jack caught a fishy."

"Great job Jack."

"That's my boy." He patted the boy's back.

"Is the fishy going to die?" Charlie asked as she watched it flap around. "I don't want it to die. Throw it back Jack! Throw it back."

"No, I wanna keep my fish! Dad, she's trying to steal my fish."

"So, maybe fishing wasn't the best idea. " Emily whispered over the kids' arguing.

"You think. Our daughter's a vegetarian in the making." Hotch said before moving to handle the situation. "Charlie, this fish is already hurt. If we put him back in the water, he won't survive long. So we're going to keep him. I'll gut him and then we can eat him."

"We're going to eat him!"

"You don't have to, but yes."

"I don't want to."

"Ok Charlie Bear. Like daddy said, you don't need to. But you can't just try to steal things from Jack."

"I know. I'm sorry." She turned to her brother. "Sorry Jack. I just didn't want the fishy to die…"

"It's ok Charlie." He gave her a big hug. "I'm sorry you're sad about the fish. But we eat that sometimes. This is how we get them. Well, we buy them, but that's how they get them for us to buy."

Charlie just sat there with a shocked face like she didn't fully understand the concept until that moment. "I think we broke her."

"Ok kids, I think it's time to go."

They paddled the boat back in and finished packing up the campsite before heading out, deciding to cut the trip short. Charlie entertained them all with a rant about peeing in the woods and the mortality of fish on the way home. Only children could make that a full-fledged conversation. Emily dreaded the day Charlie realized that all the meat they ate were animals that could've been her "friend."

Once they got back home, time seemed to move really quickly. They spent their last night at Hotch's apartment for a change. Emily almost asked him about the houses he was looking at. Was he still planning on moving? He hadn't brought it up since they got together. Did she want him too? Their next step would likely be living together… Moving somewhere else seemed like an extra hassle.

That was something to discuss without the kids around though, so they focused on having another good day. They went school shopping. After a quick stop to pick up Charlie's uniforms, the family it up the stores. "We need to go in there." Emily pointed to a shop on their way to the department store.

"Why?"

"I got the kids something."

"You don't need to keep buying him things. He already loves you."

"Relax. It's not like it's a car, and it's not about him liking me. It's about treating him like part of my family. I got one made for Charlie and Henry too, and I wanted to get Jack one. It's something small, but it's something I do for Charlie and I want to do for him too. It's nothing big and if he doesn't like it, I'll order him one he does."

"No you won't. He'll like it, I'm sure."

They walked in and Emily went to the counter. "Pick-up for Prentiss."

"One second ma'am."

"What are we doing in here?" Jack asked.

"I got you and Charlie something for school."

"You did?"

"What is it mommy? Is it my new backpack? I get a new one every year. Mommy says it's because I always get it dirty and she doesn't know how. So she gets me a new one even when I really like the old one."

"Charlie's right. I talked to your mom and she said it was ok if I got you your backpack. So, let me know if you like it, ok?"

"Ok."

The cashier called her name and handed her a box. When she returned, she handed a bag to each of the kids. "Open it up. Let me know what you think."

"I helped mommy pick yours out." Charlie told Jack excitedly. "Mine is awesome and she said yours needed to be awesome too because it's for school, so we'll use it lots."

"Cool." He said and started opening his.

"Mommy. I think mine's perfect!

"You think so, huh?"

"Uh huh. It's purple, a pretty purple. And it has my name on it. It's monographed!"

"Monogrammed Charlie Bear.

"Whatever. It has my name on it. See. Charlotte P." She pointed to the white embroidered letters.

"Does mine have my name on it too?"

"It does, look at it." He pulled his out. They went simple this year, plain colors. Charlie's was a dark purple with a lavender plaid design and her name written in white, a star next to it. Charlie practically demanded it. Jack's was red with white and blue plaid. "That way we match." Charlie told her when they were picking it out. His didn't have any picture, just his name in black.

"Jack H." He stated when he read it.

"What do you think?"

"I think it's cool. Thanks Emily!"

"You're very welcome buddy."

"You have to look inside Jack! It comes with stuff!"

"What kind of stuff?"

"We get lunch boxes and a pencil case! And they match!"

"Yours also has a patch pack so if you want a little design like Charlie has next to her name, we can put it on for you."

"Really? I like it a lot Emily."

"I'm glad."

"What's Henry's like?"

"His is just like yours and Charlie's, but it's blue and green."

Hotch watched them all. He never saw his son so excited for a backpack. The kid always loved school shopping, all kids seemed to, but it felt different. Jack went over and hugged Emily as Charlie tried to get Hotch to pick her up. He couldn't resist.

"So we're all happy? Good. Let's get on with the shopping."

Pencils, notebooks, folders, and everything else that was on their school lists bought, Hotch and Emily treated the kids to a movie. In their seats, the movie going, Hotch leaned into Emily and whispered, "You made him so excited with the backpack and shopping, but you really didn't need to do this."

"I know that. But it's the little things that make them happy. I know I didn't have to get him one, but he is a part of my family Aaron. I do it for Charlie, and I wanted him to know he matters to me too."

"Thank you."

When they went to drop Jack off later that afternoon, Hotch was surprised to see how friendly his ex and current girlfriend were. It was a little unnerving and odd to witness. It felt a little twilight zone to him. But, he supposed, he should be happy about it. They could've hated each other and made his life difficult.

"Oh Emily, he loves it. Thank you so much. You and Hotch taking him school shopping saved me a whole lot of trouble."

"It was my pleasure." The two kept talking as Hotch disappeared with the children, trying to get away from the crazy. "So, we'll see you Monday?"

"We'll be there."

"Great. Bye Haley. Bye Jack." When they got back into the car, Hotch asked her what that was all about. "Oh, Jack's coming with Haley to our get together Monday."

"She's coming?"

"Yeah, I wanted Jack to be there and it was only right to invite her too."

"So… Let me get this straight… The whole team will be there, along with the three kids of course, and then we add to that your mom, my mom, and my ex-wife."

"Yeah."

"You don't think that's a little… weird?"

"Honey… We're way passed that. Everything about us is a little weird."

"You called me honey." He said with a smile.

"Ok?"

"You've never called me that before."

"That's because I usually call you sir… or, you know, god when we're… you know."

"Oh, I know."

"Do you not like it? I'm not big on pet names for lovers, but it just slipped out."

"I like you calling me anything. So I'll take it."

"Just don't get too used to it _honey_."

"Why are you guys being silly gooses?" Charlie's head popped out from in between the seats.

"We're just having some fun. Sit back ok?"

"Ok."

They spent the night at his apartment again. They loved her house and being there, but sometimes it was nice to just be stuffed together in his little place. Plus, once school started up again, they knew they wouldn't have as much chance to do that.

"Are you going to come with us Wednesday morning for first day of school drop off?"

"Absolutely. Jack's school starts Thursday, so that works out well. I always like to be there for the first day."

"It's special isn't it?"

"It really is." He kissed her, pulled her body closer to his as they laid in bed. "So… how are things going to go with your mother? She gets in Thursday…"

"I know, I'm picking her up from the airport."

"Right, now that that's clear… How are we going to tell her everything?"

"Didn't we have this conversation?"

"Partially. But we need to have it again."

"The truth is, I'm not sure how I'm going to do this. I would love to have you here, but I feel it would go better if I handle it on my own. The plan is to pick her up Thursday after work. I'm going to get Charlie from school and we're going to go to the airport. She'll probably be jetlagged, so I'll cook or have something ready for us… I don't know, but we'll eat and get her settled in. Maybe we'll talk a little, but not about this. On Friday, my mom's going to get Charlie after school and have some time alone with her while we're at work. When I get home, JJ agreed to take Charlie for a little while so mother and I can go out to dinner, just the two of us. That's when I'll bring it up, bring you up."

"And that's a good idea?"

"My mom won't make a scene in public, so if she has something to say, she'll bite her tongue until we're in private. I'm hoping if her initial reaction isn't good, the time will help mellow her out."

"You don't think she's going to take it well at all, do you?"

"I… I think she feels I act impulsively at times and I have authority issues… So… you're a little older than I am, in a position of power… a bit of the forbidden fruit… something I flaunted in front of her when you worked for her…I'm not entirely sure how it will play out, but I'm trying to put the odds in our favor. My mom and I are finally in a good place. We have regular phone calls. She sends letters and gift for Charlie… we skype… my mother uses skype… so I need this to work out."

"It will." He assured her, giving her a comforting touch. "It will work out."

"I hope you're right…"

As they laid there, facing each other, Hotch could see the insecure child Emily once was right there in her eyes. "Hey, don't think like that." He brushed some stray hairs from her face to get a better look at her. "It will work out."

"It's just… My mom can be judgmental… This is one thing I don't want her to make me feel bad about. I know she doesn't mean to. She doesn't do it on purpose, but ever since I was a kid, all she had to do was give me this one look and I knew she was disappointed in me. Almost instinctually, I'd do something to punish myself… Like she trained me to do it for her."

"We're happy Emily. No matter what she says or does, that won't change unless you let it. So, we won't let it."

"I know." She sighed. "But that doesn't really make it any easier. All I want… All I want is for her to be happy for us. And maybe she will… I don't know. So much has changed… But if she… I don't want to lose her again and I don't want to lose you."

"You don't have to lose anything Emily. I will do everything I can to make sure you don't." He promised as he placed a kiss on her forehead. "Whatever happens, nothing between us changes. I won't let you push me away, and if you try, then I'll push right back."

"Thank you." She said quietly, her head still tucked into his body.

"Always." He whispered back.

The rest of the week passed before they knew it. The first day of school with Charlie was fun. She was surprised when Hotch was there to wake her up and eat breakfast with them. She was even more surprised when he came with them to school, giving her a piggy back ride into the building. Emily wasn't shocked at all when all the other nosey moms watched them closely, wondering who that guy was and what he was doing there. She heard the whispers and to just shut them up, as soon as they were leaving the building, she put her hand in his and indulged in a very public display of affection. No need for rumors when there's confirmation.

"What was that?"

"I love you. Can't I just show you off a little?" Emily asked.

"Any time you want." And he sealed it with another kiss. "I think they're jealous."

"Oh, definitely." JJ was sure to tell them how cute they were when she ran into them.

Emily wanted to be there for Jack's first day, Hotch even said it was ok. But she decided against it saying that it was something to be shared between him and Haley. She made him promise to tell Jack she said hi and to have fun at school though. She was sad she missed it, but she tried not to let it bog her down, especially when she had to pick up her mother later.

She was nervous to see the Ambassador again, mainly because things had been so good and being in close quarters for days at a time could ruin that. "You excited Charlie Bear?" The little girl was bouncing around the airport.

"Uh huh. I like grandma and my other grandma will be here soon too. We're going to have lots of people over."

"You do know that daddy's mom won't be staying with us at the house… right?" They did talk about that.

"Oh…" Her excitement faded a little.

"She'll be staying with daddy at his apartment."

"Why isn't she staying with daddy?"

"She is… Daddy won't be staying either."

"What? But daddy lives with us!"

"No, he lives at his apartment. He just spends a lot of time with us. But for a little while, he needs to be there to be with him mom."

"Why can't we all be together?"

How to explain that that scenario would like drive her to drink… "There just isn't enough room for everybody."

"Yes huh. We have lots of beds. And we can share. You always share your bed."

"No saying that to Grandma, ok?"

"Why not?"

"Just… please don't."

"Fine. But I'm not happy mommy. I want all of them to stay with us… Daddy, Jack, grandma, and grandma."

"Talk about a full house…" Just then the announcement for her mother's flight came on. "Come on, grandma's here."

Emily and her mother were both genuinely happy to see each other, exchanging big hugs upon first arrival. Charlie nearly toppled grandma over in greeting. "It's good to see you too Charlotte."

"Grandma, only Clyde calls me Charlotte. And mommy sometimes," she put her hand to the side of her mouth and whispered to her grandmother, "usually when I'm really bad or she really wants me to do something."

"Not true _Charlotte_."

"See!" Charlie smiled.

"Let's get grandma home. She had a long trip."

The three arrived to a meal already set out for them. "What's all this?" Elizabeth asked.

"I… I don't know." Emily said. She really didn't.

"Mommy there's a note." Charlie waved the envelope from the table. "It says Charlie and mommy."

"Well, let's see what it says." She took the note and read it.

_Charlie and Emily, _

_I knew my two girls would be hungry. I didn't want you to have to cook after being at the airport all day. When you told me you were on your way home, I took the liberty of going to that restaurant on King Street you love so much and picking up all the favorites. Working for your mom gave me some clue as to what to get her. Have a great dinner. Everything should still be warm. Talk to you soon. _

_I love you Charlie. Have mommy give you a hug for me._

_Daddy _

"What does it say?" Charlie asked, Elizabeth watching her daughter's features soften. She was swooning!

"Yes Emily, what does it say?"

_For mommy's eyes only: _

_Emily, I love you. Hope explaining this doesn't make things more difficult. Things will be ok with your mom. And, if by some chance they're not, I'm here for you. Call me later. And, tell the ambassador I say hello (after she knows and only if she doesn't want to kill me). I'm kidding. Things will be fine. Have fun with your mom. I miss you already. Have Charlie give you a hug for me._

_All my love, _

_Aaron_

"It says that someone heard there were three very hungry Prentiss girls driving in from the airport that needed feeding. So, here are all our favorites. Mom, I'm assuming yours is a guess, but I'm positive you'll like it."

"The card says that?"

"No, just that it's a guess."

"Who's it from mommy?" Yes, the ambassador wanted to know too.

"Come see for yourself." Charlie ran over and Emily showed her the portion of the card where Hotch was saying her loved her.

"Daddy!" She smiled. "We have to say thank you."

"We will. We'll give him a call later. For now, let's eat before it gets cold."

"He has a key to your home?" Elizabeth asked.

He had a key to a lot more than that. "Yes mom. To see her…"

"I see…" She left it at that as the three began their meal. He must've timed it perfectly because the meal was still hot without being scalding, perfect temperature. "He has good tastes." In more than food she assumed.

"He does." Emily agreed.

"Daddy's awesome. Do you know daddy, grandma?"

Elizabeth looked to Emily. "I don't know, do I?"

Since they walked in, Emily was rethinking her game plan. She didn't want to hide her life anymore, not from anyone really. But since it couldn't be avoided at work, she certainly didn't want to do that with her family. "Maybe… Let's finish eating. Maybe grandma will help with bedtime while I clean the dishes."

"I'd love that."

"Bath time too?"

"Of course."

Emily spent the rest of the evening thinking how to tell her mom. She just wanted to rip off the Band-Aid and be done with it. But she wondered if it needed to be handled more delicately than that. Honestly, she was just worried about what her mom would think. Her opinion always mattered to Emily. She couldn't help that. Soon, the decision would be made for her. As the night darkened, Charlie and Emily's call to Hotch over, baths had and stories read, Emily stood in the kitchen watching the water steep.

"A watched pot never boils." Elizabeth said, scaring Emily.

"Jeez mother…" Emily put her hand over her rapidly beating heart. "I was just going to bring you up some tea."

"How about I just join you here? Charlie's asleep, we can have some mother and daughter time."

"Sure. Have a seat."

Emily joined her at the table and handed her the cup. "Thanks."

"Charlie loves having her father in her life."

Emily couldn't tell if that was a question or a statement. "Yes, she really does."

"You do too."

"I don't hate it, no." That was for sure.

"Charlie was telling me that daddy spends a lot of time here… She likes having him around. Seems you do too… A lot… You know… he can stay here if he wants to… Don't change things up because I'm around. Aaron's more than welcome to be here while I am…" She let it out and waited for Emily to realize what she said.

"It's not even about you being here. His mom is in town too and… wait, what?" Emily looked to her mother. Had she heard that right?

Elizabeth found her daughter's face hilarious. She missed out on so much of Emily's life, but she was making up for it in spades with every visit they had. "Oh Emily… You're so… young sometimes."

"What?" What did that mean?

"For all the hiding and sneaking around with boys you did as a child, you're even wore at it as an adult. Or maybe it's him who is bad at it."

"I wasn't bad at it… I mean… I didn't… What are you saying?"

"Mr. Hotchner left France in a hurry my dear. I got a nice view of his backside on the way out. I see why you like it."

"Mother!" Come on!

"I'm still a woman Emily. I look. And he is… attractive."

"Eww… Not what I was talking about… Mom! You knew?!" Elizabeth nodded. "But you didn't say anything!"

"I can't say I was thrilled at first. He's your boss. And a part of me felt it was some form of belated rebellion from when I forbid any contact between you two. But then I saw how happy you were. I don't know how it works. He's your boss and you share a child. It's messy. But… I've never seen you so… so bright. So I kept my mouth shut, let myself wrap my head around the idea as I waited for you to tell me… In your own time."

"I was going crazy worrying about how you'd react."

"I know that now, I can see it. You've been trying to tell me all night which is why I made it easier for you… Emily, dear, I may not always agree with your life choices, but it is your life. And those choices are yours to make. I can't say I'm over the moon, but if he proves himself worthy of my daughter and granddaughter, then who am I to stand in the way?"

"So… you're really ok with this?"

"I'm… I'm ok with it. I want the best for you. If that's him, then that's him. I'll do my best to always support you no matter what. Even if the past proves otherwise, I want to be here for you. I don't want you to feel like you have to be afraid to tell me things."

"I love you mom."

"Oh, I love you too Emily."

"Is he a good father?"

"A great one." Emily moved to sit next to her mom and hugged her. "I love him." She said quietly.

"I know." Her hand ran through Emily's hair as she held her in a hug as if Emily were the child she rarely saw. "I know you do." It felt right to be in her daughter's life, and Elizabeth wasn't going to let anything get in the way of it, least of all her sometimes judgmental ways. The two most important people in her life were happy. Emily was happier than she had ever seen her. That was what mattered.

Emily felt so much better after that was out of the way. She and her mother stayed up talking. It surprised her how much their relationship had grown. France cemented everything, but each day after built upon it. When Friday came, she was excited to run into Hotch.

"You look downright giddy. Someone get laid last night?"

"No Morgan! For your information, my mother's in town."

"And that makes you that happy? Damn, she drug you or something?"

"Or something. Is Hotch in yet?"

"Of course, you're late."

"I'm not late, I'm just not early for once."

"Ok princess, go see your man."

When she got into his office, she quickly shut the door. "I'm liking where this is going," he started, "but do you think this is the right place?"

"I'm not here for that. We can do that later."

"Ok… Then what brings you behind closed doors?"

"I told my mom about us… last night. Well, she told me about us… that she knew it was you."

"What?" He was suddenly sitting very straight and still behind his desk. "How…" He cleared his throat. "How'd that go?"

"Surprisingly well. She uh… she wants you to join us for dinner tonight."

"As in just the three of us?"

"That's the idea." She nodded, sensing his weariness. "If you don't want to, that's ok."

"No, of course I want to. I'm just… What am I in for? How bad is it going to be?"

"Look Aaron, she really does seem to be ok with it. She saw us in Paris, well not us, us, as in you know… what we were going, but us as in you leaving." And apparently he liked his ass almost as much as Emily did. She didn't want to think about that.

"Ok…"

"She's being supportive. She accepts this. I don't think it will be completely painless, but it won't kill us either."

"Emily, even if she was going to poison my food, I'd show up for you… I just wouldn't eat."

"Funny."

"Should I pick you two up or should I meet you there?"

"Why don't you meet us there? Châteaux Boubonte. Seven."

"I will be there."

"Good…" She wanted to keep their meeting brief in case Strauss decided to walk in, but before leaving she had one last thing to add. "Wear loose pants. Or a long jacket. Coat tails… Yeah coat tails would work…" She let the thought sit with a perplexed Hotch as she slipped out.

Emily was greeted at her desk by a gaggle of grinning faces. "Was that some quick office hanky panky gumdrop?"

"Garcia! No… We haven't done that…"

"Charlie says otherwise."

"Here. We haven't done that here." Though they came close a time or two…

"Whatever you say Em… Whatever you say."

"Oh not you too Jayje."

"Hey, looking back, I walked in on some pretty suspicious moments."

"Well, get your mind out of the gutter. We haven't done that here at all… yet." She winked.

"I knew she was a girl after my own heart." Morgan teased. "Office action!"

"What are we talking about?" Reid asked Morgan quietly.

"The birds and the bees my boy genius." Garcia tried to clarify, but Reid still looked a little clueless. "We're talking about Emily riding the Hotch rocket. S-E-X Reid."

"At the office?!" His eyes bulged.

"Oh geez…" Emily just face palmed. Rossi took over from there.

Emily and Hotch were both nervous by the time dinner rolled around. The Prentiss girls were all dolled up as they took Charlie to JJ's. Wanting to be quick, Emily had Elizabeth stay in the car. As soon as JJ opened the door, Charlie practically ran inside. "Hi JJ. Henry, guess what!" Charlie called as she made her way deeper into the house. "My grandma's here! I have two grandmas. Look you can see her out the window."

"Someone's excited."

"What can I say? My mother's good to her. She loves having grandmas."

"I meant you."

"Dinner plans changed. Hotch is coming with us. And this excitement… fear."

"You'll be fine. What's not to love about Hotch?"

"I'm sure she could think of something."

"But she won't."

"I know, but if I get all my nerves out in here, mother won't smell the fear in there."

JJ laughed. "She's not a dog."

"Oh, but she has a nose like one." Emily bantered. "I should go. Don't want to keep mother waiting. I'll come by around ten the latest."

"Take your time and have fun."

"Thanks Jayje."

Emily quickly said goodbye to Charlie and left. The two kids were sitting in the window waving to Emily and Elizabeth as they left. "They're precious."

"They are. That's her best friend. You'll get to meet him… and… and Charlie's brother… Jack, on Monday."

"Oh yes, Mr. Hotchner has a son."

The tone was so ambiguous, she didn't know what to make of it. Good or bad? None of the above? "He does…"

"I can't wait to meet him."

"Great." Right?

Hotch was already there waiting for them when they arrived. "Good evening Ambassador Prentiss." He debated whether or not to kiss Emily. Ultimately he went for a cheek kiss to which Emily gave him an odd look.

"You may call me Elizabeth."

"Ok… Elizabeth."

"Mom, Aaron, should we get to our table."

"After you." He was a gentleman the entire time. He pulled the seats out for both of them, engaged in small talk. It seemed to be going well thus far.

"You could've kissed her." Elizabeth told him when Emily excused herself to the ladies' room. "A peck on the cheek isn't very romantic."

"I was attempting to be courteous Elizabeth. I was even going to bring you flowers, but the arrangement I picked was too big. Emily told me you like sunflowers, so I had some delivered to her house for you. They should be set up in your room already."

"That's very kind of you. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"So… You have a son Mr. Hotchner."

"Aaron, it's Aaron. And yes I do. His name is Jack."

"Tell me about him." And he did. He divulged all about Jack. "You've been with him from the start. Doesn't that make it hard with Charlie?"

"Of course it does. I missed so much. But I'm just happy to have her in my life now." Both of them.

Elizabeth kept pressing, but he held his own. Granted, he was sweating and praying for Emily to return quickly. He expected as much from her mother. Despite their rocky relationship, he knew Elizabeth just wanted the best for her daughter. He wanted to prove he was.

"You passed that round." She smiled, but then, with a serious glint on her eyes and a pretty intimidating smile, she said, "But I want you to know that I know people… I know a lot of people… many of them not very nice. Just remember that if you hurt either of them. One call and it's over. Do you understand what I'm saying Mr. Hotchner?" Cross them and end up lost in the shuffle of John Doe paper work…

"I do ma'am, but it's not something you need to worry about. You may not believe it, I'm sure you have your opinion of me all set and you've heard less than flattering things, but I love her. I want nothing more than to stand by her side and love her forever, to love and be there for both of them forever."

Seeing Emily coming back, Elizabeth quickly turned the conversation around. "Ok. So, now that that's done. I'm thinking the fish. What about you?"

"I'm going with the steak."

"A red meat man."

"That he is mother." Emily sat back down.

Dinner went smoothly, orders made and delivered, wine served.

"So… You're who Emily was having sex with in my shower?"

Hotch sat there stunned as Emily choked on her wine… "Mother!"

"Well Emily, I have a right to know about the naked men in my home. You two seem to get very rowdy in my homes. Charlie was conceived under my very roof!"

"What? Who told you that?!"

"Sorry." Hotch mouthed. She was interrogating him, asking him about how things came to be… He caved!

"Mom."

"I can't leave you alone in my home for a moment. I do, and you go at it like a pair of horny teenagers."

"Oh god…" She had a please god, strike me down, look of despair.

Hotch used the uncomfortable moment to his advantage. "Was she like that as a teenager?"

"Are you kidding? It was a good day if the security staff managed to wrangle her in by 2 am. I was told a time or two they had to pry her mouth from some boy. I never asked which part of the boy…"

"That's not true! The boy part, not the part part… Oh jeez… It's not true!" What was happening?

"It is Emily. She threatened to run away once in high school with Jacque, the Goth French exchange student. He 'got' her in ways I just couldn't understand. I just assumed he took her virginity and she wanted to be attached, though I was sure she felt little for him other than the thrill she got by pissing me off." Hotch loved hearing everything, weird as it was, but Emily was mortified.

"Mom, please. For the love of all that is holy."

"Don't be dramatic Emily. I'll stop. Just promise that if there are more grandchildren, I'm involved from the beginning."

"Only if you promise never to mention my name and shower sex… or my virginity… in the same sentence again!"

"What she means, Elizabeth, is of course. Should we be blessed with more children, we want him or her to have all the family they can."

"What he said…"

"Ok, good. That's what I like to hear. Dessert anyone? I could go for something sweet."

Emily and Hotch just shared a look, both so perplexed. Her mother was nuts! But dinner did go well. Elizabeth really did her part trying to get to know Hotch as more than a former employee and her daughter's current boss. She asked questions, remained involved in the conversation, and even shared a story or two about Emily. Apparently, she liked to do that. Emily could've lived without that. The story about her and the school talent show… Not something she ever wanted retold. She was surprised Garcia hadn't found some very horrible vintage recording of it somewhere to tease her with mercilessly. Small favors, Emily supposed.

The end of the night ended with a kiss, this time not dulled by the ambassador's presence. "I love you. I'll still see you tomorrow to take Charlie right?"

"Yes. See you then. Love you, goodnight."

When Emily got into the car with her waiting mother, she couldn't keep the smile off her face. "He's good for you Emily." Elizabeth stated midway through the drive. "He makes you smile the same way your father once made me."

Though the mention of her father still left her with a pang in her heart, she knew her mother saying that meant she was on board. She would support them. And that could be a good card to hold later in the game if the relationship ever became a problem at work. Until then, though, it was just nice to have her mother behind them.

The next day, Hotch took Charlie to pick up the last of the supplies Emily needed for Monday and he needed for his mother's stay. Her injury was better. Though there was still some residual pain, she was up on her feet and doing fine. Charlie was super thrilled, her words, that all her grandmas would be there. It was almost like having all her family in one place, except Clyde wouldn't be there.

"You miss him?" Hotch asked slightly begrudgingly.

"Uh huh. I love Clyde."

"I know. Hey look." He needed a distraction. Fortunately, or unfortunately, a pet adoption event was right there to be of service.

"Doggies!" Her hand flew from his as she moved to take off.

"Wait for me!" He ran after her.

Oh, going there was such a bad idea. She fell in love with each and every animal she saw. She pet each furry creature, talked to them, played with them, and then she found him. The more she fell in love with him, the more he fell in love with his daughter. She was so caring and loving, and it just melted him so.

"What's his name daddy?"

"Her name is Cocoa."

"Because she looks like chocolate!" She smiled, face right next to the dog as she gave Charlie kisses. "I love chocolate. And I love Cocoa." She told the dog as she ran her hand through the chocolate lab's fur. "I wish I could keep you forever."

That was it. He was roped in. "Your mother is going to kill me…" And she knew that was a yes.

"Thank you daddy! Thank you." At least one of them would be happy.

They went through the adoption application, did all that was necessary. They'd be able to get the puppy from the shelter at the end of the week as long the application went through, which he was assured it would. He filled in all Emily's information with his… They were adopting a puppy together. Big step taken and she didn't even know about it.

"Don't mention this to mom until I tell her."

"I'll zipper my lips!"

They arrived home, at Emily's and he knew right away he was going to have to tell Emily. Charlie looked like a kid in a candy store just told she could have as much as she wanted. There was no hiding her smile. "Why are you so smiley Charlie Bear?"

"I can't say." She proclaimed.

"Alright?" Turning to Hotch as Charlie ran away, she asked, "What's that all about?"

"We should talk."

"Oh god, what did you do?" She saw it all over his face, that she was to adorable to refuse and I ought her something I shouldn't have face. "What did you buy her?"

"We kind of…"

"We, there is no we. I wasn't there."

"Well we kind of… I…"

"Mommy daddy got me a puppy!"

"He did what?!"

"Oh, I'm sorry daddy. I couldn't keep my mouth zippered anymore. Show her the picture." She stole his phone from his pocket and handed it to her mom. "Look at it mommy. That's me and Cocoa."

"Cocoa?"

"She had that name already. It's an adoption… A good deed." Maybe that would lessen the blowback.

"Oh, look how cute they are."

"I know right. Hard to say no to those faces." Yeah, she didn't think she would've been able to say no to that either. But she didn't want to give in and tell him that. Stay mad Emily!

"Cocoa has a scar on her belly mommy, just like you." Emily flushed red.

"Yeah? Why?"

"A bad guy got to her too. That's why she needed a new home. Her mommy went bye-bye 'cause the bad guy got her. So she needed a new mommy. You! So she'll be my sister."

"Charlie, that's great. Why don't you go see grandma?"

"Ok." She left so unaware.

"Please don't kill me." Hotch put his hands up.

"Trust me, I want to right now. There's a reason I haven't gotten a dog. As much as I'd like to give her one, have one as part of our family, we travel a lot. Now I have to make sure Sarah can handle it or get a dog walker for when we're away."

"We can set up a fenced off area in the backyard for her. With a dog house and everything… that way walking her can be easy. There's plenty of space… And I just couldn't say no… I couldn't."

"When does she come?"

"Next Friday…"

"Fine, we'll discuss your punishment later."

"That's it?" He actually liked the sound of that.

"For now." She walked away.

They both let the topic drop for the rest of the weekend, but Charlie was so excited she told everyone and anyone who would listen. All the adults had to admit, it was cute, especially when she told Jack. Everyone had arrived for the get together, party or whatever it was to be, and as soon as Jack went over to Charlie, she hugged him and said, Daddy got us a doggie Jack!"

"What?"

"Daddy went shopping with me and we met Cocoa. Cocoa's the best and she's pretty and I said we wanted a friend. We wanted Cocoa. So now Cocoa's coming to live with me and mommy. But since she's mommy and daddy's puppy, she's ours too. It's 'cause we're all family."

"Were you like that as a kid Em?" Morgan asked, all the adults watching from the sidelines.

"She was worse." The ambassador stated.

"I can see that." Helen added. When the two mothers met, there was a stare down. They were gaging each other, but it seemed they became fast friends and immediately started sharing tales about their children.

It was a relief for Hotch and Emily.

The whole gathering was great. Almost everyone they loved, minus a few key players, mainly Sean and Clyde, was there to get to know each other and form a meshed family. That was what they were. Garcia toasted them, "To finally figuring it out." She said and raised her glass, each person adding something uplifting and sometimes funny, to the toast.

They were all having a great time. And it wasn't awkward like he imagined it would be with Haley there too. The ambassador did question her a little though, trying to figure out if she was ok with her daughter's relationship with her ex-husband. She determined Haley was. And, when they sat down for their feast, no one could break the smiles they all had.

"Everything ok over there Emily?" Helen asked from the other side of the table. Emily must've lost herself in thought.

"Everything is perfect." She answered with a huge smile. And everything was. For once, she could say that honestly. She looked around that table and, in her heart, she knew everything was absolutely just as it should be. For years, she went searching for the family she so desperately craved. And she did so in all the wrong places. But she found them. Her daughter changed her world. She brought back the light that was missing from her very being after her time with Interpol. She saved her, but the rest of her family, people who chose to accept her and make her feel a part of something great, they were the ones that helped complete her.

She looked at how far she had come, how far they all came.

She was happy. She was _finally_ happy. Life was just where she wanted it to be and only getting better.

Later that night, after everyone left, Charlie and Elizabeth asleep, Helen back at the apartment, Hotch and Emily finally had some alone time. He returned after getting his mother back to his place just so he could spend some time with her and he wasn't afraid to make a move even with her mother and daughter there.

"You're beautiful, you know that?" He kissed her, pushing his body against hers as they crashed into the wall, his mouth attacking hers. "Absolutely gorgeous."

"I wore my good underwear for you."

"The black lace?" He asked, feeling her head nod against his chin. "You know I love the black lace."

"You know what I love?" She teased as she unbuckled his pants.

"What?"

"That I finally have you all to myself." His belt was gone, her skirt hiked up as he went searching for the lace. Found it, he thought and started to tease her.

"Maybe we should go upstairs."

"Definitely." They couldn't seem to keep their hands off each other. It felt like they hadn't felt each other in so long. Approaching her room, he lifted her into his arms like carrying a bride through the threshold, and gently tossed her onto the bed. "Lock the door."

Locking it, he quickly stripped off his shirt, throwing it onto the ground, and hopping on the bed next to her. He couldn't wait to get her clothes off, his hands slipping under the soft material of her blouse, cupping at her breasts.

"Take it off."

"Take what off?"

"All of it. Everything."

"Anything you want."

Both bare, he moved lower on her body, kissing his way down her body, stopping to work up the thigh. "Oh god… you can't do that with my mom here. I won't be able to keep quiet and… oh… ok keep going." His fingers and tongue worked on her as she bit into a pillow. "Jesus!"

"Is that your new name for me?"

"Oh Jesus, do me again."

"Anytime."

"But you first." She returned the favor, his hand gripping at her hair as she bobbed.

"You're trying to kill me." He told her after his release. "You're trying to give your mom a reason to hate me."

"Please don't talk about my mom right now or we're going to have to stop."

"No. No stopping."

"Didn't think so." Emily climbed back on the bed, hovering over Aaron, fingers skimming his abs. She put her legs around him, hips meeting. Hotch took that as his cue to take over and forcefully flipped them over and began kissing at her neck.

"Think you can keep quiet?"

"I guess we'll find out." She smiled against his cheek as he pushed his way in. She had to suppress her groan, but he could feel the vibrations in her throat against his skin.

It was passionate and slow, their mouths never leaving the other's body in one way or another in attempt to keep the moans from escaping with each thrust. A bite or two and a whole lot of in the moment scratching, and they were wiped, completely satisfied and spent. Lying there, cozy and lost in each other, Hotch couldn't help of think of what could come next.

_Alone with her oldest boy, Helen really observed him, scrutinizing him. "You really love her." She needed to hear it again._

"_More than I can put in words."_

"_I know she loves you too." Her motherly smile seemed devious yet honest. _

"_Yeah, how?" He questioned. _

"_Don't make me explain that again."_

"_Right… ok." She'd end up saying it again anyway._

"_Is it different this time? Do you feel different with her?"_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_I mean… I love Haley and she will always be family, but I was seriously worried about your lack of relationship experience. I wanted you to know all there was to know before settling down. But the two of you were so in love. And Aaron, I know after what your father put us through, you wouldn't even risk stepping out on Haley, separation or not. So there had to be something pretty special about that girl out there from the very start. Why? What is it?"_

"_With Haley… With Haley life was simple. We went from one stage to the next in logical, orderly progression. And I loved it. I loved her. I still do, but there wasn't room to veer off course. When I chose to leave my position as prosecutor, our world started deteriorating. We made it work, but it was patched up with tape and glue. We weren't happy with each other. We wanted two different things. At some point, I stopped being the guy for her and she stopped being the girl for me."_

"_And with Emily?"_

"_With Emily… With Emily anything goes. I knew the moment I met her that she was trouble, but it was trouble I wanted to be a part of. We're so complicated that we don't now the sky from the grass some days and it's crazy. But we never bend. We adapt and we accept each other… It's what makes us work. She understands me on a level no one ever has before. And I understand her. I'm not going to say I didn't love Haley, I still do, but… But I realized, I stop seeing a future with her. Time went on and our ideas changed. We grew apart rather than together. Aside from Jack, we stopped having anything in common. I know I can't really explain it, but with Emily…" He got this unconscious silly grin. "With her I always saw something. I saw us together no matter what. I saw us with a handful of kids, living in a house with a big back yard, vacationing at her family's estate for summers. I see a wedding with Charlie as our little flower girl and Jack as the ring bearer, you in the front row hopefully getting along with her mother. I see us with so many possibilities. She has brought the life back to me."_

"_She gives you your spark back." Her hands went to his cheeks, her thumbs gently brushing over his dimples. _

"_Yeah…"_

"_I have something for you."_

"_Mom, you don't need to give me anything."_

"_Consider it an investment."_

"_An investment?"_

"_In your future," she said mysteriously and put her hand to her chest, slipping it just under the first button of her shirt and pulling something into her hands. Aaron watched, not knowing what she was doing. "Here." She slipped her hand in his, passing it along. "If she's the one, you give it to her."_

_He opened his hand and looked at the chain resting in his palm. "This is…" Hanging in place of a pendant was a diamond ring, a gold band with a Celtic like filigree along the sides, a square cut diamond in the center. It was modest and elegant, beautifully crafted… Everything that could possibly describe Emily. It was perfect._

"_It was your grandmother's. She gave it to me. Now it's yours."_

"_But…" How could he accept it? _

"_I want you to have it."_

_He looked at her stunned. "Mom… Are you sure?"_

"_A mother knows. A mother always knows."_

"_Thank you… I know what… Just thank you." His mother never let that piece of jewelry out of her sight, and there she was, giving it to him, to give to Emily._

"_She's a good one Aaron. I can see you've been through a lot, as individuals and as a pair, but you've come through it together. And you will still face so much, up and down, but you can get through all that too. Be happy."_

He carried the ring around with him, keeping it in his pocket always close by. When the time was right, he'd do it. He'd get down on one knee and make himself her one and done. They would be forever. "I love you Emily." He told her as they laid in bed together, content to just be. "You're happy right?"

"Happy? With us?" she questioned.

"Yes."

"I spent my entire life searching, just trying to find home. And I finally found it. It's here, here with you by my side… With our daughter and your son… our children. I'm home. This is home and it's all I've ever wanted." She told him. "So yes, I'm happy. I'm finally happy."

"I'm happy too. I didn't know what happiness really was until you. I've come close, but there was always something missing. Now I know what was missing, my two best girls." Yeah, he was going to ask her to marry him. Soon. As soon as he could, when the moment felt right.

"Don't think this sweet talk and some incredible sex will make me forget that you adopted us a dog, because it won't. You're cut off."

"You mean after this." He laughed. "I love you anyway."

"I love you too."

They didn't know what the future held. The imagined good things as they stayed there in their blissful euphoria. They imagined their lives growing better as they grew old. They imagined the family moments they would experience together, the children they had, the children they could have. They only imagined their lives getting better. Never did they imagine the bad. And who would? The future they wanted was all sunshine and rainbows. But, they had no idea the storm that was brewing and the debris it would cause in their lives. No one could have seen it coming…

But with every good, comes some bad. Thankfully, they were still living in that idyllic new relationship stage hoping it would last a lifetime. In their minds it would. But that didn't mean it wouldn't be tested. They had a few more obstacles to overcome before they got their happily ever after.

Hotch looked at his sleeping girlfriend and smiled, "I'm going to marry you Emily Prentiss, just you wait."

THE END… for now…

**So, how do you all feel about that? I left it in a good place with a little ambiguity so that the sequel will work out. But this is the end of this one. I, personally, loved writing it so much. **

**I want to take the time to say thank you to each and every one of the readers. I appreciate your patience and support on this writing journey. I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I have. Honestly, you're the best. And I hope to see (or hear-read) you all again with the sequel. I need about a week to upload. I'll mark this one as complete once I do. It's titled "Give and Take." (tentatively). **

**So now, tell me what you thought! Anything you want to see in the sequel. I can tell you know there are some big relationship steps being taken in the next installment. Some with Emily and Hotch, some not, but all big. **

**Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.**

**Thank you everyone who has added this story to alerts or favorites and to those of you who have given feedback. Opinions are much appreciated; feedback, input, whatever. Constructive criticism also welcomed. I hope you enjoy. Until the sequel…**

**123a456e**** The answer to that question becomes very clear this chapter. Let's see if it will be put to good use next installment… Maybe? I don't know… I mean a marriage proposal. What? We'll have to read and see what happens.**

**D**** Thanks so much. I'm glad you like the story and my writing. I think you know what it was she gave her son, but you'll know for sure this chapter. Enjoy it. **

**WriterM19**** Helen is pretty awesome. She gives great advice and you want her on board with whatever. I couldn't hurt her too much. I'm glad I didn't or I don't think anyone would've been happy with me. **

**finolagrace**** Thank you so much. Enjoy the finale. **

**Maxi**** Mrs. Helen Hotchner is on board! Yay. I'm excited for the next journey too. I'm so happy there are readers who are on board with it. Hope you like this ending!**

**Lktwh13**** Death or bonding… I went with family time. I could've played it with the sad bonding, but I wanted it to be fun. I'm glad you liked that choice too. I have the first chapter of the sequel almost finished, but I won't be updating it for at least a week. I want to get as much written as I can before I post. Hope to "see" you there. **

**Iuzy**** Everyone seemed to like the sex talk. Honestly, it was so much fun to write I had to add more this chapter (spoiler alert if you're reading this before the chapter). It's fun. I'm so glad you found and like the story. This is the last piece before the next installment. Enjoy. **

**rmpcmfan**** It does mean a lot to Emily. The way I picture Helen, she's a woman very capable of love, nurturing and motherly, but she has been through a lot so she has a wisdom about her that I think Emily could learn from. It forms a bond. **

**sourgummycandy**** I definitely made it a long one. And there was no way I could kill her. I, surprisingly or not (I don't know) didn't kill anyone in this one other than Doyle and that doesn't count. I updated as soon as I could, longer than I wanted. Hope it's worth it.**

**SouthunLady**** I know you didn't leave a comment, totally ok, you have a lot going on. I just wanted to say I hope things are getting a little better for you and our family. You're in my thoughts.**


	46. Sequel: Give and Take

The sequel is up! It's called "**Give and Take**." I hope you guys check it out, but hey if not, thanks for reading this one anyway.

I want to take this opportunity to give you all a big, huge thank you for all the support. It has been a long and fun journey writing this story and I'm honored so many have come on it with me. Many of you stuck with it from the beginning, an extra big virtual cookie for you. It really does mean a lot to get all the kind feedback I received. So, again, thank you all so much. You're all awesome. Readers new and old, there from the beginning or just somewhere along the way, thank you.

If you want, go check out the sequel now and see where the journey goes next. Satisfaction guaranteed ;) kidding, I can't guarantee that, but I sure will try. I do, however, promise a drama filled ride with good times and bad, lots of family and team moments… all that good stuff. Maybe some stuff readers have been waiting for…

And now, I officially mark this story complete. Catch you on the next ride!


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